#as we learn how to teach kids dealing with PTSD from COVID

[jesidres]

Never before have I seen someone put into words how different empathy and sympathy are, and how sympathy can actually do more harm than good.

[ptsfreed]

Starting over

TW: mental abuse, physical abuse, narcissistic abuse, gaslighting

For years, I’ve kept a journal or blog.  I started when I was 5 when my mom bought me my first journal (it even had a lock and key).  As I got older, I transitioned to blogs.  I tried them all, Xanga, Tumblr, Blogspot.  Writing has always been cathartic for me, a way to process and heal.  I had gradually fallen out of the habit but I know that it’s time to start up again.  Last week, I actually made a booming return to paper/pencil journaling, but let’s get real--my hand hurts.  Typing is just so much faster.  Blogging it is.

I suppose I should start out with outlining my goals for what I’m planning to achieve with my return to writing.  I want to give myself the opportunity to slow down, process my emotions and experiences, and heal.  I like having the ability to have something physical to look back on, sort of like a barometer for intangible growth.  It’s hard to measure social-emotional learning otherwise.  

Here’s what I’m currently dealing with.  I’m 31, married, with two children.  I’m a full-time work-from-home-parent.  I am a moderate/severe special ed teacher for a virtual charter school.  My husband also works from home full-time in the entertainment industry, so it’s just us versus the kids all day.  My little ones are 3 and the other is just shy of one.  My husband and I became first-time homeowners right in the midst of the pandemic.  Then he was laid off.  For seven months.  We’re both educated with experience in our field.  Overnight, we went from a six-figure household to becoming eligible for food stamps.  This year, I marveled at how easily a job loss in a two-income household could turn that very same household eligible for welfare.

Depression ran high.  The booze flowed.  My PTSD symptoms went untreated as available therapy appointments became more scarce with the entire world enduring a collective trauma together. I watched my strong husband crumble.  I saw him cry and doubt himself for the first time ever.  I watched as a dark cloud seemed to envelop our household, ridden with fear for the future, uncertainty for the present.  We became expert budgeters.  We ate all the leftovers.  We helped each other to thrive with the most limited social interaction in our lives.  With the welcoming of our son, we compromised our social-distancing for family’s sake, with the promise that everyone in our pod would commit to limiting our social diets to strictly one-another.  It was hard...we love our families, but we dearly missed our friends.  Living two hours away from family in the first place, our local friends quickly became family.  But we adjusted.  Loneliness was preferable to falling ill to Covid--or worse, dying.  

At some point during the pandemic, my mom moved in with us after leaving her abusive 30-year relationship with my father.  Except, she never really left.  She maintained contact with him.  I knew it would be difficult for her.  I expected the separation to be hard, painful, and drawn-out.  What I didn’t expect was how severely living with my mom again after seven years would impact my mental health.  I could feel my anxiety levels rising.  My resentment steadily followed.  I didn’t want things to feel this way.  I was battling toddlerhood with a strong-willed, fiery, emotional kid with a penchant for hitting and also adjusting to life as a full-time working mom of two.  I felt the emotional toll of being there for everyone, compassion fatigue, though I hated to say it.  I felt like as a doting mother, good wife, caring teacher, and compassionate daughter I needed to do it.  But the toll it was taking on my body and mental health was unmistakable.  I cried, sometimes for no reason at all.  I snapped, I felt angry at small things.  My house looked like a tornado ran through it at all times.  Finding motivation to do things was like pulling teeth.  I gained weight, I hit the bottle almost nightly, though I typically limited myself to two drinks.  I told myself I deserved it.  Lots of people share a bottle every night with their significant other.  It’s not like it was impacting my ability to perform my job or care for my children.  Deep down, I still didn’t like it.  It felt like the only way to escape from the hell of quarantine and being broke.  I just wanted to see people.  Spend without immediately regretting it.  Yet here we were.

The year has been a challenge.  Ridden with strong toddler emotions and learning to navigate parenthood while actively trying to break the cycle of spanking and yelling to discipline.  I don’t always succeed and I hate myself each time I snap.  I run to my daughter, apologize and tell her that I was feeling overwhelmed, but that wasn’t okay.  It’s never okay to spank a bottom or yell because you want compliance.  If I can’t always be the perfect parent, then I can at least be one that is apologetic and not too proud to say sorry.  I want to teach accountability and remorse for one’s own actions.  At the very least, I can instill that.  That’s the silver lining of losing your cool, I guess.  But with these apologies and accepting accountability, it’s important that I also couple these sentiments with change.  It’s important that I do this in all aspects of my life, which is what I hope to achieve with writing.  I need to hold myself accountable and be able to look back at change.  I can do this.  I have done so much.  I have survived the pandemic.  I have created a family.  I have finished a bachelor’s and a master’s degree with little financial support.  I have paid my way out of debts.  I can do this.

1.  First and foremost, the reason I started writing again in the first place, I am done with binge drinking.  I feel pangs of doubt as I write this, afraid of my own capacity for caving to cravings and peer pressure.  As I experience those pangs, I can hear a silent voice in the back of my head telling me to push forward and cast that doubt aside.  I know I can do this.  Enough is enough.  My relationship with alcohol has never been healthy.  I began my drinking career in college surrounded by friends that made me feel home.  Drinking was fun, cool, part of the experience.  Pre-gaming was encourage and expected.  If pre-gaming meant you got drunk before the party, then the goal of the party was to get even more smashed.  I carried these habits into adulthood and still carry them with me today.  My last binge was Sunday and I’m not going to torment myself by recanting how bad it was yet again.  My goal isn’t to stop drinking entirely, just to have a healthier relationship with alcohol altogether.  Binging isn’t healthy.  The person I become when I drink isn’t healthy.  I can control this.  I can do this.

2.  I want to continue my journey into healthier eating and fitness habits.  As of today, this is the longest time I’ve ever seriously stuck with a weight loss goal.  I’ve lost 6 pounds since I began with mostly just-dieting.  The fitness part has been difficult to make time for, but I’m working on it.  I know that this goal is closely tied to goal #1.  If I can get in control of my diet, I can get in control of my drinking.  I am in charge.  I can take ownership of my health.  I can do this.

3.  I want to continue learning about my PTSD, my symptoms and how they have and continue to impact my life.  I want to continue learning about establishing healthy boundaries with people I love, my mom included, unfortunately.  I want to continue learning about narcissistic abuse, substance abuse, and how these factors have contributed to who I am as well as my entire family dynamic.  Growing up hispanic, it has been incredibly difficult to establish boundaries without being labeled as “too good”, “hateful” and “too angry”.  I have been told countless times by my own mother that I’m too angry and upset at my father who physically and mentally abused me and my entire family for as long as I can remember.  My dad has cheated on my mom and rejected me for over two decades.  I am sick and tired of being told to forgive my abuser because my boundaries make others feel uncomfortable.  What has been especially hard after actively working on myself for 3+ years is having my own family tell me that perhaps therapy isn’t suiting me because it’s made me “too angry” and that I’ve “lost my lust for life”.  They want to assume that my general sense of frustration is attributed to not talking to my dad, when in reality, freeing myself from that relationship has afforded me more peace than I ever could have fathomed.  Sure, there are difficult moments, but every time I think that maybe that relationship may be worth pursuing again, I am reminded of why I have established such rock-solid boundaries in the first place.  According to others though, this makes me too hateful.  Too angry.  “You’ve punished him enough”, they say.  As if this was ever about punishment and not about protecting myself and my children from narcissistic abuse in the first place.  They say this and accuse this anger of pouring into other aspects of my life, without ever once asking what’s really going on inside.  Not once has anybody asked how parenthood is going.  How I’m coping with the pandemic and the renewed sense of cautious freedom now that I am fully vaccinated and my husband is halfway vaccinated.  Not once has anybody thought to consider that maybe I’m not super woman, that I’m just human and that I too have moments of vulnerability that I irresponsibly cope with by binge drinking.  Instead, everybody says that the best course of action is to essentially “get over” my resentment and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder brought on by the decades-long abuse I suffered at the hands of my own father.  The same hands that banged my head against a wall, beat me within an inch of my life, and then sent me to work at a cosmetics counter without a stitch of makeup and completely battered and bruised.  According to the armchair therapists in my life, it’s my job to let go of these feelings and now trust this same meth-addicted man with my children.  I need to trust in his capacity for change and honesty after 20+ years of lying and gaslighting.  I don’t want my boundaries to cost me the most important relationships in my life.  But at this point, I can’t do it anymore.  I am exhausted with explaining myself, for demanding respect and begging to have my story heard and considered.  My mom will continue to choose my dad over me.  She feels compelled to be his friend and the peacekeeper, still, even after attending therapy and working on herself.  I know that my dad is at the center of this, stirring the pot and causing a rift in my relationship with my mother because having me out of the picture will bring the two of them closer.  “See, she turned her back on you too”, I can hear him saying.  This is the loneliest I have ever felt in my life.  I have been told that by my parents my entire life that I am essentially dispensable.  “I don’t fucking need you”, my dad would say.  My mom would “intervene” by asking me what I did to make him so upset, and perhaps I should just “find somewhere else to live” if this was how I was going to act.  I hate feeling this way.  It hasn’t gotten easier as a 31 year old woman, but I can say that I am now able to see the situation much more objectively and with clarity.  This is why it’s important to keep attending therapy, working on my drinking, practicing mindfulness, and living my life with intention.  Wellness really does come full circle.  I can do this.  I can do this.  I can do this.

[amyddaniels]

We Are All Grieving Right Now. Here, How to Feel Whole Amid Uncertainty

Yoga teacher Karena Virginia discusses the collective grief of COVID-19 and what it can teach us. Plus, six tips to jumpstart your own deep healing process.

Karena Virginia

My heart is racing, and I feel that empty longing sensation in my stomach like something was taken from me. It must be 3 a.m. again. Did I say or post something too personal yesterday? Was I too much? Was I hiding in my cocoon all day not doing enough for the world? Was I doing too much activism again? Protesting again. Too much? Not enough?

Nauseous and hot. My mind runs through the day and evening before as if someone else is lying in this body right now shaming me for my existence. Did I allow too much freedom for the kids? Did they wash their hands after going outside? Did they really stay six-feet apart? Am I numbing myself when I help others overcome addiction?

Once again, I’m ruminating on the small things to prevent myself from feeling the real grief and longing in my soul. The grief and the regrets, and the longing for traditions, and moments and time with loved ones that were taken for granted are too painful to feel. Shame. What kind of yogi am I?

What I’m feeling is trauma. It’s collective and ancestral trauma. It is not just me. We are all grieving. Something very painful is happening as we rebirth ourselves, and it feels like some kind of very deep intense healing.

Can you feel it too?

See also Karena Virginia's Practice for Finding Instant Calm

The Persistence of Ancestral Trauma

In this time of global pandemic, we are collectively healing ancestral karma, while we are being told to stay home. The message is clear: It is not safe to step out of your home. Do not use your voice. Do not reveal secrets. Do not speak of herbs or spells, and, by all means, never speak truth to power. You will die if you do. There is danger outside. It can kill, and it is killing. It can strip finances and security. Hide.

The virus is invisible, but it is taking lives and jobs and creating absolute chaos in our world. We feel it even if we are not watching the daily news. Our bodies know.

Our bodies hold scores of lifetimes, and our cells hold scores of generations. We are imprisoned in our homes, our bodies, and our cellular memories. And we want to fight for peace and we want to call out the abuse of power that has been perpetuating the systemic abuse and racism for way too long. How do we run and protest for peace when we are trapped indoors and inside old stories of unworthiness and shame.

I don’t like when animals are used for testing, but this study of mice proves what our cells know. Our DNA can wire us for shame, fear, and playing small. The study took a group of mice and wafted the smell of cherry blossoms into their habitat while also exposing them to anxiety-provoking stimuli. The mice exhibited a fear response whenever they smelled cherry blossoms from then on. However, when they tested several generations of offspring of those mice that were never exposed to the anxiety provoking stimuli, they still responded with fear anytime they smelled cherry blossoms.

If our great grandparents experienced persecution, war, illness, inequality, oppression, abuse, racism, or other major traumas, those traumas are still lingering in our DNA. And, on top of that, those of us who are highly sensitive are feeling the pain of the world while also dealing with our own personal grief. This is an intense time, so we must be compassionate with ourselves.

See also Karena Virginia's Practice for Releasing Fear

Healing Ourselves to Heal the World

The good news is that we can heal. We can heal these traumas for our own children, nieces, nephews, neighborhood kids, and so on. Actually, I believe we are being called to heal our ancestral lineage right now. Marching for human rights is spiritual. Calling out broken systems is spiritual. Yelling from rooftops to end racism is spiritual. Anytime we create change for the better of this Earth, we are embodying the spiritual within us.

Anger can propel us into action. The old story that anger is “not enlightened” is changing. Denying anger was a historic tactic to keep us trapped in a cage. Mother Earth is teaching us to say “no more” to abuse, oppression, repression, assault, racism, and destruction of this sacred land we walk on.

I also believe we are becoming butterflies, and this time in the cocoon is the chrysalis. I truly believe this time of “reset” is preparing us for the miraculous. And I am not one to use that word lightly. I have used my voice for change, and have been hated for it. I have received death threats and I have felt deep shame and pain. I have experienced PTSD and the excruciating pain of loss, and I am a white woman with privilege. How do people of color who stand up to injustice feel when they are attacked for being spiritual warriors?

Being a highly sensitive person is not easy. Our energetic immune systems are delicate, and we ache for a better world. We long for peace and justice. We hurt for others, and we feel our own pain as if it is burning our skin. We are angry. We are confused. We feel boxed in, and our souls are crying out: “no more."

6 Ways to Start the Healing Process

Here are some tips that have helped me connect with myself, my intuition, and others during this time of social distancing, when feelings of anxiety, pain, shame, and fear are so prevalent:

1. Feel it

I have learned through deep pain and shame that the only way forward is to lovingly allow myself to deeply feel and express the fear, rage, shock, panic, sadness, anxiety, disappointment, and despair. How much of what you are feeling is yours? Is it an energetic weight? Is it an ancestral pattern? Is it collective grief? Can you feel it to heal it? Locate the sensation. Trauma creates a story so we can make sense of the energy moving through us. How true is the story? Is it located in that part of the body that aches? Ask yourself this question: what percentage of this ache is yours? 80%? 60%? 40 percent? For the portion of the ache that is not yours, think about what can you do to help others. When we help one another we speed up collective healing.

See also 3 Life-Changing Strategies for Processing Grief

2. Ask your guides to assist you

Placing your forehead on the floor so it is lower than your heart in a child’s pose helps quiet the mind and open the heart .I like to say this prayer: “Dear Divine one, please eliminate the ache in my body, mind, and soul that is creating this heaviness. Send angels to lift the fear and darkness that is not mine and bring it back to source so it can be transmuted into love and light. May the alchemy begin. And so it is. So it is. So it is.”

3. Move your body

Shake. Move the trauma. Dance. Tap. Massage your body. Sweep your skin with your hands to release the love hormone oxytocin. Hug yourself. Hold yourself. And just breathe.. Find compassion for yourself. Have you been giving your power away? Change up your practice if you need to, but keep doing a daily practice. Whatever your practice is to elevate. Yoga, meditation, running outside. Stay steady. Cry if you need to. Scream if you need to. Move the trauma. Move it again and again and again. Recognize that the highest teacher at this time is inside you.. Miracles occur naturally when we recognize how loved we are and we elevate our vibration. We are being called to reclaim our sovereignty. We are growing and evolving. We made mistakes, and that is what life is about. It will be ok.

See also Karena Virginia's Sequence for Feeling Strong and Secure

4. Make space for miracles

Clear away anything that clutters your home, your mind, and your spirit. Set boundaries when people send you frightening texts or videos. Once you have created that space ask spirit guides to help you serve humanity: “What will you have me do? How will you have me do it? Who will you have me do it with? When?” Then listen. You may be called to use your voice. You may be called to disrupt a system that is hurting innocent people. You may be called to stand up and fight for human rights and equality. Listen. Observe. Contemplate, and take action from the heart instead of reacting from the overthinking mind. A new world is emerging, but we need to stand up for ourselves and others. 

5. Spend time in nature

If you feel ungrounded, go outside and walk around barefoot. Ground yourself. This new earth has so many secrets to reveal. Look at the flowers. They are blossoming. There is hope. There is a rebirth. You deserve happiness. You deserve prosperity. You are healing so many layers of ancestral trauma, and spirit guides and angels are helping you. Staying home does not mean you are caged in. Bloom. Even flowers bloom in pots. They just need nurturing and love. Give that to yourself.. Keep breathing through the stuck energy so you can free yourself. Relax to attract. You do not need to push or pull. Ask and allow instead. Gifts will appear with ease the more you follow this law. It is the law of love, and it is not a bypass of any sort. It is the law of truth. 

See also We Tried Forest Bathing And Now We See Magic Everywhere

6. Hold hands with others energetically 

Create a new community with people who feel the same way. If your old community is still working for you, host gatherings–both digitally and physically using social distancing measures. It’s time to unlearn ingrained beliefs that perpetuate the problems like jealousy, competition, abuse and racial inequality. Listen to others, and listen to your heart. Let go of what others think or say about you. Observe yourself when you are putting an unhealthy system or community before your divine calling. Be true to the voice in your heart, and live with every action from that space. It takes all of us together in a circle with open hearts for this change to happen.

See also A Libations Meditation for Honoring Black Lives Lost

Want to learn how to tap into your innate kundalini energy to transform your practice and life? Join Karena in her online course with Yoga Journal, called Empowered Kundalini.

[krisiunicornio]

Yoga teacher Karena Virginia discusses the collective grief of COVID-19 and what it can teach us. Plus, six tips to jumpstart your own deep healing process.

Karena Virginia

My heart is racing, and I feel that empty longing sensation in my stomach like something was taken from me. It must be 3 a.m. again. Did I say or post something too personal yesterday? Was I too much? Was I hiding in my cocoon all day not doing enough for the world? Was I doing too much activism again? Protesting again. Too much? Not enough?

Nauseous and hot. My mind runs through the day and evening before as if someone else is lying in this body right now shaming me for my existence. Did I allow too much freedom for the kids? Did they wash their hands after going outside? Did they really stay six-feet apart? Am I numbing myself when I help others overcome addiction?

Once again, I’m ruminating on the small things to prevent myself from feeling the real grief and longing in my soul. The grief and the regrets, and the longing for traditions, and moments and time with loved ones that were taken for granted are too painful to feel. Shame. What kind of yogi am I?

What I’m feeling is trauma. It’s collective and ancestral trauma. It is not just me. We are all grieving. Something very painful is happening as we rebirth ourselves, and it feels like some kind of very deep intense healing.

Can you feel it too?

See also Karena Virginia's Practice for Finding Instant Calm

The Persistence of Ancestral Trauma

In this time of global pandemic, we are collectively healing ancestral karma, while we are being told to stay home. The message is clear: It is not safe to step out of your home. Do not use your voice. Do not reveal secrets. Do not speak of herbs or spells, and, by all means, never speak truth to power. You will die if you do. There is danger outside. It can kill, and it is killing. It can strip finances and security. Hide.

The virus is invisible, but it is taking lives and jobs and creating absolute chaos in our world. We feel it even if we are not watching the daily news. Our bodies know.

Our bodies hold scores of lifetimes, and our cells hold scores of generations. We are imprisoned in our homes, our bodies, and our cellular memories. And we want to fight for peace and we want to call out the abuse of power that has been perpetuating the systemic abuse and racism for way too long. How do we run and protest for peace when we are trapped indoors and inside old stories of unworthiness and shame.

I don’t like when animals are used for testing, but this study of mice proves what our cells know. Our DNA can wire us for shame, fear, and playing small. The study took a group of mice and wafted the smell of cherry blossoms into their habitat while also exposing them to anxiety-provoking stimuli. The mice exhibited a fear response whenever they smelled cherry blossoms from then on. However, when they tested several generations of offspring of those mice that were never exposed to the anxiety provoking stimuli, they still responded with fear anytime they smelled cherry blossoms.

If our great grandparents experienced persecution, war, illness, inequality, oppression, abuse, racism, or other major traumas, those traumas are still lingering in our DNA. And, on top of that, those of us who are highly sensitive are feeling the pain of the world while also dealing with our own personal grief. This is an intense time, so we must be compassionate with ourselves.

See also Karena Virginia's Practice for Releasing Fear

Healing Ourselves to Heal the World

The good news is that we can heal. We can heal these traumas for our own children, nieces, nephews, neighborhood kids, and so on. Actually, I believe we are being called to heal our ancestral lineage right now. Marching for human rights is spiritual. Calling out broken systems is spiritual. Yelling from rooftops to end racism is spiritual. Anytime we create change for the better of this Earth, we are embodying the spiritual within us.

Anger can propel us into action. The old story that anger is “not enlightened” is changing. Denying anger was a historic tactic to keep us trapped in a cage. Mother Earth is teaching us to say “no more” to abuse, oppression, repression, assault, racism, and destruction of this sacred land we walk on.

I also believe we are becoming butterflies, and this time in the cocoon is the chrysalis. I truly believe this time of “reset” is preparing us for the miraculous. And I am not one to use that word lightly. I have used my voice for change, and have been hated for it. I have received death threats and I have felt deep shame and pain. I have experienced PTSD and the excruciating pain of loss, and I am a white woman with privilege. How do people of color who stand up to injustice feel when they are attacked for being spiritual warriors?

Being a highly sensitive person is not easy. Our energetic immune systems are delicate, and we ache for a better world. We long for peace and justice. We hurt for others, and we feel our own pain as if it is burning our skin. We are angry. We are confused. We feel boxed in, and our souls are crying out: “no more."

6 Ways to Start the Healing Process

Here are some tips that have helped me connect with myself, my intuition, and others during this time of social distancing, when feelings of anxiety, pain, shame, and fear are so prevalent:

1. Feel it

I have learned through deep pain and shame that the only way forward is to lovingly allow myself to deeply feel and express the fear, rage, shock, panic, sadness, anxiety, disappointment, and despair. How much of what you are feeling is yours? Is it an energetic weight? Is it an ancestral pattern? Is it collective grief? Can you feel it to heal it? Locate the sensation. Trauma creates a story so we can make sense of the energy moving through us. How true is the story? Is it located in that part of the body that aches? Ask yourself this question: what percentage of this ache is yours? 80%? 60%? 40 percent? For the portion of the ache that is not yours, think about what can you do to help others. When we help one another we speed up collective healing.

See also 3 Life-Changing Strategies for Processing Grief

2. Ask your guides to assist you

Placing your forehead on the floor so it is lower than your heart in a child’s pose helps quiet the mind and open the heart .I like to say this prayer: “Dear Divine one, please eliminate the ache in my body, mind, and soul that is creating this heaviness. Send angels to lift the fear and darkness that is not mine and bring it back to source so it can be transmuted into love and light. May the alchemy begin. And so it is. So it is. So it is.”

3. Move your body

Shake. Move the trauma. Dance. Tap. Massage your body. Sweep your skin with your hands to release the love hormone oxytocin. Hug yourself. Hold yourself. And just breathe.. Find compassion for yourself. Have you been giving your power away? Change up your practice if you need to, but keep doing a daily practice. Whatever your practice is to elevate. Yoga, meditation, running outside. Stay steady. Cry if you need to. Scream if you need to. Move the trauma. Move it again and again and again. Recognize that the highest teacher at this time is inside you.. Miracles occur naturally when we recognize how loved we are and we elevate our vibration. We are being called to reclaim our sovereignty. We are growing and evolving. We made mistakes, and that is what life is about. It will be ok.

See also Karena Virginia's Sequence for Feeling Strong and Secure

4. Make space for miracles

Clear away anything that clutters your home, your mind, and your spirit. Set boundaries when people send you frightening texts or videos. Once you have created that space ask spirit guides to help you serve humanity: “What will you have me do? How will you have me do it? Who will you have me do it with? When?” Then listen. You may be called to use your voice. You may be called to disrupt a system that is hurting innocent people. You may be called to stand up and fight for human rights and equality. Listen. Observe. Contemplate, and take action from the heart instead of reacting from the overthinking mind. A new world is emerging, but we need to stand up for ourselves and others. 

5. Spend time in nature

If you feel ungrounded, go outside and walk around barefoot. Ground yourself. This new earth has so many secrets to reveal. Look at the flowers. They are blossoming. There is hope. There is a rebirth. You deserve happiness. You deserve prosperity. You are healing so many layers of ancestral trauma, and spirit guides and angels are helping you. Staying home does not mean you are caged in. Bloom. Even flowers bloom in pots. They just need nurturing and love. Give that to yourself.. Keep breathing through the stuck energy so you can free yourself. Relax to attract. You do not need to push or pull. Ask and allow instead. Gifts will appear with ease the more you follow this law. It is the law of love, and it is not a bypass of any sort. It is the law of truth. 

See also We Tried Forest Bathing And Now We See Magic Everywhere

6. Hold hands with others energetically 

Create a new community with people who feel the same way. If your old community is still working for you, host gatherings–both digitally and physically using social distancing measures. It’s time to unlearn ingrained beliefs that perpetuate the problems like jealousy, competition, abuse and racial inequality. Listen to others, and listen to your heart. Let go of what others think or say about you. Observe yourself when you are putting an unhealthy system or community before your divine calling. Be true to the voice in your heart, and live with every action from that space. It takes all of us together in a circle with open hearts for this change to happen.

See also A Libations Meditation for Honoring Black Lives Lost

Want to learn how to tap into your innate kundalini energy to transform your practice and life? Join Karena in her online course with Yoga Journal, called Empowered Kundalini.

[cedarrrun]

Yoga teacher Karena Virginia discusses the collective grief of COVID-19 and what it can teach us. Plus, six tips to jumpstart your own deep healing process.

Karena Virginia

My heart is racing, and I feel that empty longing sensation in my stomach like something was taken from me. It must be 3 a.m. again. Did I say or post something too personal yesterday? Was I too much? Was I hiding in my cocoon all day not doing enough for the world? Was I doing too much activism again? Protesting again. Too much? Not enough?

Nauseous and hot. My mind runs through the day and evening before as if someone else is lying in this body right now shaming me for my existence. Did I allow too much freedom for the kids? Did they wash their hands after going outside? Did they really stay six-feet apart? Am I numbing myself when I help others overcome addiction?

Once again, I’m ruminating on the small things to prevent myself from feeling the real grief and longing in my soul. The grief and the regrets, and the longing for traditions, and moments and time with loved ones that were taken for granted are too painful to feel. Shame. What kind of yogi am I?

What I’m feeling is trauma. It’s collective and ancestral trauma. It is not just me. We are all grieving. Something very painful is happening as we rebirth ourselves, and it feels like some kind of very deep intense healing.

Can you feel it too?

See also Karena Virginia's Practice for Finding Instant Calm

The Persistence of Ancestral Trauma

In this time of global pandemic, we are collectively healing ancestral karma, while we are being told to stay home. The message is clear: It is not safe to step out of your home. Do not use your voice. Do not reveal secrets. Do not speak of herbs or spells, and, by all means, never speak truth to power. You will die if you do. There is danger outside. It can kill, and it is killing. It can strip finances and security. Hide.

The virus is invisible, but it is taking lives and jobs and creating absolute chaos in our world. We feel it even if we are not watching the daily news. Our bodies know.

Our bodies hold scores of lifetimes, and our cells hold scores of generations. We are imprisoned in our homes, our bodies, and our cellular memories. And we want to fight for peace and we want to call out the abuse of power that has been perpetuating the systemic abuse and racism for way too long. How do we run and protest for peace when we are trapped indoors and inside old stories of unworthiness and shame.

I don’t like when animals are used for testing, but this study of mice proves what our cells know. Our DNA can wire us for shame, fear, and playing small. The study took a group of mice and wafted the smell of cherry blossoms into their habitat while also exposing them to anxiety-provoking stimuli. The mice exhibited a fear response whenever they smelled cherry blossoms from then on. However, when they tested several generations of offspring of those mice that were never exposed to the anxiety provoking stimuli, they still responded with fear anytime they smelled cherry blossoms.

If our great grandparents experienced persecution, war, illness, inequality, oppression, abuse, racism, or other major traumas, those traumas are still lingering in our DNA. And, on top of that, those of us who are highly sensitive are feeling the pain of the world while also dealing with our own personal grief. This is an intense time, so we must be compassionate with ourselves.

See also Karena Virginia's Practice for Releasing Fear

Healing Ourselves to Heal the World

The good news is that we can heal. We can heal these traumas for our own children, nieces, nephews, neighborhood kids, and so on. Actually, I believe we are being called to heal our ancestral lineage right now. Marching for human rights is spiritual. Calling out broken systems is spiritual. Yelling from rooftops to end racism is spiritual. Anytime we create change for the better of this Earth, we are embodying the spiritual within us.

Anger can propel us into action. The old story that anger is “not enlightened” is changing. Denying anger was a historic tactic to keep us trapped in a cage. Mother Earth is teaching us to say “no more” to abuse, oppression, repression, assault, racism, and destruction of this sacred land we walk on.

I also believe we are becoming butterflies, and this time in the cocoon is the chrysalis. I truly believe this time of “reset” is preparing us for the miraculous. And I am not one to use that word lightly. I have used my voice for change, and have been hated for it. I have received death threats and I have felt deep shame and pain. I have experienced PTSD and the excruciating pain of loss, and I am a white woman with privilege. How do people of color who stand up to injustice feel when they are attacked for being spiritual warriors?

Being a highly sensitive person is not easy. Our energetic immune systems are delicate, and we ache for a better world. We long for peace and justice. We hurt for others, and we feel our own pain as if it is burning our skin. We are angry. We are confused. We feel boxed in, and our souls are crying out: “no more."

6 Ways to Start the Healing Process

Here are some tips that have helped me connect with myself, my intuition, and others during this time of social distancing, when feelings of anxiety, pain, shame, and fear are so prevalent:

1. Feel it

I have learned through deep pain and shame that the only way forward is to lovingly allow myself to deeply feel and express the fear, rage, shock, panic, sadness, anxiety, disappointment, and despair. How much of what you are feeling is yours? Is it an energetic weight? Is it an ancestral pattern? Is it collective grief? Can you feel it to heal it? Locate the sensation. Trauma creates a story so we can make sense of the energy moving through us. How true is the story? Is it located in that part of the body that aches? Ask yourself this question: what percentage of this ache is yours? 80%? 60%? 40 percent? For the portion of the ache that is not yours, think about what can you do to help others. When we help one another we speed up collective healing.

See also 3 Life-Changing Strategies for Processing Grief

2. Ask your guides to assist you

Placing your forehead on the floor so it is lower than your heart in a child’s pose helps quiet the mind and open the heart .I like to say this prayer: “Dear Divine one, please eliminate the ache in my body, mind, and soul that is creating this heaviness. Send angels to lift the fear and darkness that is not mine and bring it back to source so it can be transmuted into love and light. May the alchemy begin. And so it is. So it is. So it is.”

3. Move your body

Shake. Move the trauma. Dance. Tap. Massage your body. Sweep your skin with your hands to release the love hormone oxytocin. Hug yourself. Hold yourself. And just breathe.. Find compassion for yourself. Have you been giving your power away? Change up your practice if you need to, but keep doing a daily practice. Whatever your practice is to elevate. Yoga, meditation, running outside. Stay steady. Cry if you need to. Scream if you need to. Move the trauma. Move it again and again and again. Recognize that the highest teacher at this time is inside you.. Miracles occur naturally when we recognize how loved we are and we elevate our vibration. We are being called to reclaim our sovereignty. We are growing and evolving. We made mistakes, and that is what life is about. It will be ok.

See also Karena Virginia's Sequence for Feeling Strong and Secure

4. Make space for miracles

Clear away anything that clutters your home, your mind, and your spirit. Set boundaries when people send you frightening texts or videos. Once you have created that space ask spirit guides to help you serve humanity: “What will you have me do? How will you have me do it? Who will you have me do it with? When?” Then listen. You may be called to use your voice. You may be called to disrupt a system that is hurting innocent people. You may be called to stand up and fight for human rights and equality. Listen. Observe. Contemplate, and take action from the heart instead of reacting from the overthinking mind. A new world is emerging, but we need to stand up for ourselves and others. 

5. Spend time in nature

If you feel ungrounded, go outside and walk around barefoot. Ground yourself. This new earth has so many secrets to reveal. Look at the flowers. They are blossoming. There is hope. There is a rebirth. You deserve happiness. You deserve prosperity. You are healing so many layers of ancestral trauma, and spirit guides and angels are helping you. Staying home does not mean you are caged in. Bloom. Even flowers bloom in pots. They just need nurturing and love. Give that to yourself.. Keep breathing through the stuck energy so you can free yourself. Relax to attract. You do not need to push or pull. Ask and allow instead. Gifts will appear with ease the more you follow this law. It is the law of love, and it is not a bypass of any sort. It is the law of truth. 

See also We Tried Forest Bathing And Now We See Magic Everywhere

6. Hold hands with others energetically 

Create a new community with people who feel the same way. If your old community is still working for you, host gatherings–both digitally and physically using social distancing measures. It’s time to unlearn ingrained beliefs that perpetuate the problems like jealousy, competition, abuse and racial inequality. Listen to others, and listen to your heart. Let go of what others think or say about you. Observe yourself when you are putting an unhealthy system or community before your divine calling. Be true to the voice in your heart, and live with every action from that space. It takes all of us together in a circle with open hearts for this change to happen.

See also A Libations Meditation for Honoring Black Lives Lost

Want to learn how to tap into your innate kundalini energy to transform your practice and life? Join Karena in her online course with Yoga Journal, called Empowered Kundalini.