#as popper the kobold would say

[acethatlovesdinos]

Ok I'm home now and have access to ample signal!

So, this is the screenshot I showed to the braid lady, trying my best to explain that I wanted 2-3 braids along the side beneath my natural part

And I'd say she did a fantastic job!

(Apologies, I don't usually post my face online and it's unlikely to happen again anytime soon lol)

Overall it was super fun! I went to the Texas Rennaisance Festival in Todd Mission. (I don't live anywhere near it, I'm simply in town for the weekend). If yall are anywhere near Central Texas during the fall, i absolutely recommend giving it a look!

I can't send a picture in the ask but I wanted to say since I was excited about it

I went to a rennaisance festival today and got my hair braided at one of the stands, it's just on the side of my head along the scalp.

I showed the person a screenshot of Aldiirns hairstyle for reference on what I wanted

I have aldiirn hair now :)

i'm jelly!!!!

earlier in the year I was planning to do a simple Aldiirn cosplay for a convention happening now but opted not to go. maybe somedayyyy

[blackjackkent]

Well, after all that happened, Rakha is considerably less enthused about the rest of the circus, and presumably Wyll's lost a lot of his excitement as well. Everyone's VERY on edge knowing that Orin is aware of their presence and could be in the form of anyone around them.

Someone in the group - probably Minthara - suggests that they've spent enough time frittering around, but Rakha, spiraling with fear-anger and adrenaline, snarls that they came here so Wyll could see Dribbles and they WILL SEE DRIBBLES, which doesn't really add to the festive mood but nevertheless ensures that they remain at the circus.

A few other adventures on the way to the clown show:

Akabi the djinn immediately takes his life into his own hands by greeting Rakha with "APPROACH, UGLY ONE." Rakha, who has had a very long day, immediately prepares to attack; the djinn finds her courage funny and invites her to spin his wheel of prizes. "SPIN TO WIN PRIZES BEYOND YOUR TINY IMAGINATION AND MAKE YOUR MISERABLE LIFE MORE BEARABLE." Rakha doesn't like him. The Wild Magic dialogue option here is pretty amusing, though: [WILD MAGIC] "At least this time I'm *choosing* to spin the wheel. Let's do it." Needless to say, she doesn't win, and also biffs the perception check necessary to determine that the game is not on the up-and-up. She stalks off irritably to the sound of the djinn's cheerful bellowing from behind her: "ALAS, NO JACKPOT FOR YOU, UGLY ONE!"

She spends some time talking to the mud mephit and earth elemental couple, Stoney and Boney, who make their living selling bespoke sculpture work. She's not particularly interested in the offer of a statue of herself for their camp, but does perhaps find something mildly touching in the absolute devotion Boney the mephit has for his enormous, hulking wife. "She's a lot... bigger than you," she says thoughtfully, reflecting on the more than a foot of height she has on Wyll. "I know," Boney says enthusiastically. "It's *wondrous.*" Rakha shoots a look at Wyll sideways and finds that he's grinning a little to himself.

She's mildly amused by the little kobold named Popper who sells random goods at a nearby booth. It seems very excited to see her, which is unusual enough to be striking. "Oh! Oh! A strange one! A never-seen-before one! Hungry? Want a treato? I has lots of treatos! And magics. And junks I finds. Don't worry - I only takes junks from dead people. I is nice." Rakha buys some camp supplies from him. ("Yes! I has lots of stuffs - just for you!")

They briefly encounter the apparent leader of the circus, a woman named Lucretious, who is engaged in teaching a set of (apparently recalcitrant) skeletons how to do a dance number. Rakha's somewhat fascinated by watching this, as the necromantic magic at work puts on a show for her that is far more interesting than the dancing itself. She's more than a little bemused by Lucretious herself, who is a very big personality, boisterous, and makes mention of inviting Rakha to her tent for "wine," but luckily has no time to actually follow up on the invitation and make Rakha have to figure out how she would respond to it.

[doctorloup]

ACTUALLY FUCK IT, I WILL ELABORATE, STRAP IN, BITCHES

Let me first make the following statements - 1) I come not to bin Caesar but to praise him. WOE.BEGONE is beautiful chaos, an erratic smorgasbord of musical talent, and complex characterisation. I respect this craft, I see how much work has gone into it and I am deeply impressed. Multiple ten-minute plus long fucking musical numbers, season finales with three whole songs in them. The memetic virus that is Old Brush Valley. Wild. 2) However, apart from respecting the music, I massively bounced off this podcast the first time I tried to listen to it, because I found the protagonist such an awful damp weasel of a man. I do not like the wet cat men so beloved of tumblr. I find them deeply annoying. No shade on you all but your kink is not my kink etc. I bounced off it so hard that I actually confused it with Ostium which I listened to around at the same time, and I would describe as fun and poignant, but really rather heterosexual. Woe.Begone is not remotely heterosexual. It is gayer than Quentin Crisp in a little Sailor Suit, gayer than the letter Bram Stoker sent to Walt Whitman saying "I am six feet two inches high and twelve stone weight naked". Gay as Elton John in a feather boa riding up Brokeback Mountain on a bear while sniffing poppers and quoting Oscar Wilde. I should have known. I should have guessed from the fans being absolutely feral nightmare gnomes.  They reminded me of the Stellar Firma fans. That shrieking bucket of wild kobolds snorting ketamine and downing tide pods vibe. That should have been a warning. But they asked nicely and they politely invited me into the discord server and like a fool I humoured them.  I gritted my teeth at the horribly flawed characters and I stuck with it….

Spoilers follow.

::deep breath::

MIKE WALTERS? Stupid idiot motherfucking Mike Walters goddamn fool multiple murderous alternately callous and arrogant shithead or wet as depressed otter’s pocket sociopathic-ARG-playing biggest varmint in the west cowboy motherfucking MIKE WALTERS WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK DID I JUST LISTEN TO? WHAT IS THIS CASUALLY/DELIBERATELY VIOLENT SLAPSTICK TIME TRAVEL FUCKING COSPLAY MURDER FEST? COWBOYIFICATION? Okay I understand this is a clever way for the VA to distinguish between characters played by the same guy, weird fetish aye but I’ve seen worse BUT WHY THE FUCK DOES NEARLY EVERY OTHER CHARACTER DO IT TOO JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ON A BISCUIT IN GRAVY I ALMOST STARTED DOING IT MYSELF MULTIPLE TIMES I HAD TO DRINK TEA AND THINK OF ENGLAND TO STOP MYSELF SAYING GET ALONG LITTLE DAWGIE shit here we go again help RULE BRITANNIA WHAT WHAT YOU WON'T GET ME YA BASTARDS

AND ANOTHER THING: IN THE HISTORY OF NARRATIVE NO PROBLEM HAS IN ANY WAY EVER BEEN SOLVED BY RAISING THE DEAD jesus doesn’t count anyway that was consensual NON-CONSENSUALLY RAISING THE DEAD AND THE FACT THIS ENTIRE CLUSTERFUCK STARTED WITH THAT SHOULD BE EXTREMELY TELLING HOLY FUCK every time I hear him talk I just want to shriek OH MY GOD WHY CAN’T YOU GET THERAPY WHY DO YOU KEEP REPEATEDLY RETRAUMATISING EVERY VERSION OF YOURSELF I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND EXPLAIN TO ME WHY ANYTHING YOU EVER DID FROM EPISODE 1 ONWARDS WAS EVER A GOOD IDEA AND YET I COULDN’T STOP LISTENING, SOMETIMES OUT OF SPITE, SOMETIMES OUT OF A HORRIFIED DESIRE TO SEE WHAT HE FUCKS UP NEXT it was like listening to a car crash in slow motion sweartaefuck.

HOW CAN SO MUCH ABJECT HYPOCRISY, USELESSNESS AND NAKED SELF-INTEREST BE CRAMMED INTO THE BODY OF ONE, AND I USE THIS WORD LOOSELY, MAN?? NOT TO MENTION THE FRANKLY HETEROSEXUAL LEVELS OF TOXIC MASCULINITY FUCKSAKE AND WHILE I’M HERE HEY LETS TALK ABOUT THE OTHER CHARACTERS. Edgar “Inexplicably Evil Gluten-free Postman”,  Anne “I support my transfemme sisters but fuck this may be too far”, Marisa “Where in the holy fuck do you keep getting that tank?!” Ng, Matt “I thought you were too sensible to get involved in this nonsense but boy was I wrong”, Ty “No amount of apparently learning to respect boundaries will make up for this level of affably psychotic ‘For Science and the Greater Good’ leering viciousness” Betteridge, Я осуждаю тебя за то, что ты оставил свою собаку с Майками Борисом, Felix “Criminal Offence Against Oreos”, Hunter “Somehow worse than the protagonist, apparently that’s possible” Hartley, Sylvester August “Actually this character isn’t absolutely terrible, which is weird for a Harlan character, I’m usually immediately sus of anyone he plays carry on sir“ Baxter. HAVE I JUST GONE TO THE very helpful thank you WIKI SO I CAN ENSURE I HAVE VENTED ABOUT EVERYONE I WANT TO in this fucking TRAUMA POLYCULE YES I HAVE 

(Hey one second voice actors I hope you know I adore you even those of you who are CLEARLY COMPLICIT in this unstable lunacy anyway it was cool waiting to see which of you would voice the FUCKING MONSTER PEOPLE) 14/10 absolute fucking masterpiece, I look forward to the next episode so I can SCREAM LIKE A BANSHEE AND CALL DOWN THE WRATH OF EVERY HARPY IN EXISTENCE TO WREAK SHREDDING VIOLENCE ON MIKE. FUCKING.  WALTERS.

[feebledungeons]

Ok going to do 2 of the asks memes in 1 question. Ghost and vampire, and for the dnd one: 1, 2, 4, 8, 19, 25, 27, 38, 49

Oooh many questions :) yay!

Putting this under a cut because it got super looooong.

Ghost- Favorite song? 

This one, this one and this one (at the moment). I can never have one favourite song at any given time.

Vampire- Are you currently reading any books? If so, what book(s)?

I haven’t actually started it yet but I got Bullshit Jobs by David Graeber for Xmas and I’m looking forward to having time to dig into it.

I also have a growing pile of unread books next to my bed that I’m starting to feel guilty about... 

1. What do you think your d&d race would be?

Halfling. No doubt. I am short, plump, love food and hate wearing shoes. 

Also, not unlike a certain famous halfling-type-but-legally-distinct-from character, I have to be bullied into doing things (preferably by a troupe of of singing bearded short men).

2. What class?

Bard-Wizard multiclass. Not a musical bard though. More of a story-teller/dancer.

4. What has been your favorite d&d character you've played? (NPCs count for DMs)

I absolutely love playing Ezmerelda D’avinir in my Strahd campaign. To the point where I have to keep making her leave the party so I don’t start trampling over the PC’s agency. She’s so cool though, you guys. She says everything I wish I could say but am too anxious to and she is a complete badass.

I’ve also nerfed her wisdom down to a minus stat so she’s a freaking dumbass. Look at her... she’s so cool...

I am love her.

8. What is the most memorable natural 20 you've ever experienced?

I think crits are usually much more memorable to players than DMs? Or maybe just than to me as a DM? I’m trying to think of one and I’m completely blanking. I don’t generally make a crit be an automatic success on anything the player wants, just give them nice additional things that can happen. 

Sorry! I don’t appear to have any!

19. How did you discover D&D?

It had been on my radar for quite a while in my early 20s but I’d never had people to play with and I didn’t really understand what the point of it was because it seemed to me (from the outside) that it was just an unnecessarily complicated board game.

Then a friend showed me the Acquisition Inc 2011 Live Show and I suddenly got it. It was still a couple of years until we actually got a game together but I was hooked from the first time I saw that live show and bought all the books I could afford.

25. What is your favorite snack for d&d?

JALEPENO POPPERS! ALSO VEGGIE GYOZAS! I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M SHOUTING I’M JUST SUDDENLY VERY HUNGRY FOR THOSE EXACT THINGS!

27. If you could cast one spell from d&d, which would you cast?

Time Stop. No question. I literally used to have dreams as a child that I had Bernard’s Watch and I have ALWAYS wanted this power. I would mainly use it to escape awkward situations.

38. Goblins or Kobolds?

49. Have you ever played an edition other than 5th?

I started on 4th.

It’s... it’s not as bad as everyone says it is.

(But 5th is much much better)

Thanks for the ask!

[tambelon]

@ask-terracotta-jade @askpenwright @miss-sheepy

OOOO OKAY.  EXCITED YOU GUYS WANNA HEAR :D

Anyways!! Meet Flea! She is my werewolf druid :D (Flea’s not her real name btw, her friend gave her that name)

Since my bf is our DM, he let me use her as a werewolf with some modifications, mainly she’s not so resistant to....well, everything.  Shit still hurts.  She’s what is known as a Moon-touched werewolf, so she’s born into lycanthropy.  They can have humanoid forms and stuff but mainly they stay like big woofs :D Moon-cursed are the usual werewolves people know about and the freakin indestructible ones lol

Session 0 was mainly a roleplay chat in Discord, Flea tried to pass herself as a longtooth shifter but clearly failed due to some bad rolls.  She was travelling with my friend’s dragonborn, Vasira, before they met up with my bf’s PC, Viktor the Kobold, and @askscribbly​‘s goblin, Popper.  Viktor’s kind of like... a party member NPC that does more lol.  We just wanted my bf to join the fun ok and Viktor is a delight.  

Viktor mentions a problem in the nearby town of Blackwood with him looking into another incident dealing with a wife’s husband missing, who turns up dead on the road with a note in his pocket from the brother in Blackwood.  The four decide to group up and see the problem through since why not, they’re all going there anyways.

Session 1 starts off with them entering Blackwood, the four directly heading to the tavern.  Flea’s allowed to have a normal wolf form that doesn’t count as Wildshape, so she’s in that because... well, a normal wolf is less terrifying than a fricken werewolf and everyone else in the party minus Vasira are kind of races that get kicked around.  They enter the tavern: Popper instantly looks around and sees a hooded figure at a table doing card tricks, so he’s gonna go look over there, Vasira went to the bar to speak to the tavern owner, Fritz.  

And Flea? For technically the first rolled action she does in the live campaign?

She goes and begs for table scraps.  Had to roll for performance, which she has no bonus modifier in.

AND SHE GOT A 19.  SHE GOT THAT TABLE SCRAPS AND IS THE BEST DAMN WOLF EVER.  GODDAMN HILARIOUS.  These people are fucking enamoured with Flea in her wolf form.  

Viktor comes over and apologizes for ‘his dog’ and gets some info on how there’s no animals nearby.  Vasira learns about dead bodies missing and Popper... well, Popper made a friend. Vasira rents two rooms for the night and it was decided it would be Viktor and Vasira in one room and Flea and Popper in the other.  Flea has the cantrip to speak to animals, so she begins to perform that ritual so she can speak to Popper’s mount, a mastiff named Cecilia.

Was kind of a weird...philosophical session with the dog.  Flea doesn’t really know if she gained anything out of it, but she opened up to the dog because no one else can speak to the dog but Cecilia mentioned to keep what she said a secret haha.  Whew.  Definitely helped Flea feel less strict around Popper, but she was still on edge. Vasira and Viktor are having a helluva powerful talk downstairs and Popper was invited to the cloaked figure’s room.  TBH, ask @askscribbly​ about Popper and his adventures, I’m sure they’d love to expand LOL.  

BUT SUDDENLY.  SOMETHING CRASHES IN AND GRABS A HALF-LING.  EVERYONE (minus Flea) HEARS THIS, INCLUDING THE DOG, SO FLEA’S ALERTED AND THEY GIVE CHASE.

Turns out to be a fucking scarecrow.  A SCARECROW.  AND THUS OUR FIRST BATTLE BEGINSSSS.

Vasira rages, Viktor attacks and has pack tactics, Flea tries primal savagery but nothin’ happening.  Physical attacks doing shit.  Flea almost gets knocked unconscious but survives with 1 HP, she’s pissed at this thing now. AND POPPER, DEAR LOVELY POPPER, HEALS HER.  AND SHE.  RIPS THAT FUCKING THING.  TO SHREDS.  LIKE A CHEW TOY.  And thus Flea got the first kill of the night.

There ends up being a letter tucked away and while Flea can read the script of the name signed at the end, Vasira can actually read Elvish, so they figure out it’s Popper’s friend, who’s name is Saelithia.  They approach her with questions and got confirmation it was written by her, so we went to her friend’s house who was named in the letter.  Popper found a journal nearly ellibile minus four entries and how a strange discus object was connected to Tom (the friend).

Next they headed to the tree where Tom was hung, Flea was able to use detect magic to see a conjuration chain and undead chain across the hole of the tree.  She stuck her paw in and it fucking hurt.  Viktor and Popper hit them too and it hurt as well.  Nobody learns a lesson and Vasira severely disappointed derg-mom.

They go back to Saelithia with the journal and she returns with them to the tree, but kind of stuck so they went to go check out the two other problems: missing bodies and missing wildlife.

They head to the cemetery, fucking undead attack and Vasira destroys them with firebreath.  Vasira finds a monastery in the graveyard and we find this gross and awful mass of flesh and shit causing the undead shit.  Popper gets knocked out but Flea returns the favor and heals the dude. Viktor kills it because he’s bad ass and I love him.

Afterwards they go to look what’s causing the wildlife to go missing, which turns out to be a Maw Demon.  OOF. Viktor and Vasira are doing close-range, while Popper and Flea stay back and do long range. Popper gets the final blow with sacred flame.  Our heroes are worn out and go back to the tree, finding the chains broken and the hole open.

...But before anyone could say they should rest, Flea charges in (probably high on the excitement) with Viktor chasing after her.  Vasira and Popper just kind of... stare off in disbelief  Vasira’s owner even drew it lol.

And that’s where session 1 ended :D We got our next session next week and I’M PUMPED AHHH.