#as much as it would simplify my life I cannot rewrite myself a woman. I might be able to rewrite myself an atheist again but I refuse.

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

How different would you be if you believed or decided you were? If every objective fact about you remained the same except for your perception of who that makes you? Do you know the range of people you could be without lying to yourself or denying any part of yourself? Are they all equally you? Are you the happiest among them?

[fandoms-equal-life]

Rewriting Their Stars Once Again - The Greatest Showman Fanfiction

Chapter 4: How?

Originally Posted on Ao3: 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13365846/chapters/35057585#workskin

Summary:

What will Anne and Phillip do with this news from Dr. Turner?

Notes:

I'm sorry my chapters are few and far between. I have started to work somethings out in my life, so more will come. I plan to write for any ships I love, which if you follow my Tumblr (http://fandoms-equal-life.tumblr.com), you will know is a lot of ships. I won't stop this story though, but if you share any of our same interests, look out for more content.

Also, if you have any requests for shared fandoms and ships, please feel free to message me on my Tumblr and I will see what I can do! Writing is new for me, but I am excited to expand on this new found love

Chapter Four: How?

Triplets.

Never in a million years did Phillip think he was going to be the father to one child. Now he is going to be a father to three.

Phillip stopped that train of thought immediately. That was not even the most shocking news from Dr. Turner.

“…as there is a chance you will not make it out alive.”

Phillip could see the whole room was stunned. Dr. Turner was staring at them, waiting for a comment from one of them. He was used to giving hard news and was ready to take any reaction that came his way.

Finally, after a couple minutes of stunned silence, Charity, to help the young couple in their stunned state, asked, “What do we have to do to ensure the safety of Anne and the babies?”

Babies. Oh god, now he knows Anne’s pain of instant nausea.

Dr. Turner started to go into detail of what they needed to do. Anne was looking straight at him with determination in her eyes, taking in everything he said, while Phillip, sat there completely dumbfounded.

He heard instructions like “purchase everything now” and “bedrest is the most important part of this process” and something about “weekly checkups at home” when she reaches a certain month in the pregnancy. Phillip was not fully listening at this point. He was worrying how he was going to support their family now.

Three different cots, three sets of clothes, enough cloth diapers for three newborn babies. He was sure he could buy enough for Anne and the one baby he thought they were having until summer came and the income of the circus rose, but now he had no idea how they were going to purchase everything in this moment for three babies.

Even worse, three babies they did not even know will make it into their family.

That is when Phillip started listening, when Dr. Turner started to talk about the survival rate of the babies.

“I will try to simplify this for you. Growing one baby is hard enough for a woman’s body but growing three is a tremendously difficult task. There is only so much space in a woman’s womb, meaning that you are more likely to give birth earlier than the nine-month point. If you make it to seven, consider that a miracle. If you reach seven months at least, it should be a little easier to deliver the babies. There is also the chance of one or all dying in your womb before birth, a stillbirth or the babies dying within the first weeks of life.

“Also, the chance of your survival is another factor. Miss Wheeler, you will lose a large amount of blood during the delivery of your babies. The more blood you lose with each baby, the weaker your body will become. That is why in these coming months, you need to bulk up with foods that will make your body and blood strong. Chicken, beans, lentils, bread, different types of nuts are foods I recommend to all mothers, but you especially. From now on, ignore your cravings for unhealthy food and think of the good of your unborn children.”

Neither Anne nor Phillip have said anything through Dr. Turner’s whole speech. While Dr. Turner was a serious man who did his job with little emotion involved, he could not help but feel sorry for this couple. Young, breaking the views of society (in more ways than one), now having to worry about the life of their children, but also the life of the mother, will be challenging for them in the coming months.

It was Charity once again who spoke up for Phillip and Anne. She stood up, thanked Dr. Turner and said they were ready to depart if they were allowed. Dr. Turner said he and Phillip would meet Anne and Charity outside once Anne was up and ready.

When Phillip and Dr. Turner left the room, Charity faced Anne for the first time since the news. Anne looked like she was on the verge of tears, keeping them in for Charity’s sake. When Charity went to hug Anne, she stood up and firmly said, “I’m fine” and walked out of the room to meet Dr. Turner.

Dr. Turner gave her instructions for the next few weeks. Purchase everything, be here every two weeks until she reached her sixth month, which is when Dr. Turner will be visiting her once a week.

Once he was done giving instructions, Anne shook his hand and thanked him, then walked out to the carriage that Phillip had called for them. Not even acknowledging the stares she received when she is approaching the carriage, she walks in and sits in the corner to look out the window. She heard Phillip ask for the driver to be as careful possible, which annoyed Anne to no ends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a couple minutes, Phillip asks Anne if she is okay. She waves him off, stating she is fine, and the silence takes over the carriage again.

Anne has not registered the news Dr. Turner gave her. She is sitting in total denial next to Phillip on the way back to the circus. He informed her that he needed to go and settle a few things before they went home, even though P.T. was going to run the show tonight.

When they arrived at the circus, Phillip helped Anne out of the carriage and paid the driver. He reached for her hand, but she stalked into the circus tent, looking to be alone. Charity was planning to find P.T. to discuss this matter with him, but Caroline and Helen grabbed her attention and brought her towards the elephants to show her their new trick. Anne saw Phillip go to his office while she stood in the middle of the ring.

The circus ring. The first place she ever felt accepted. One of the only places she felt safest, even though she is flying through the air, the only things keeping her from falling is her brother, small rope and bars, and her talent. She has not flown through the air in months and she dearly misses it. While she would never admit to it, she hated coming to the circus with Phillip during the first few months of her pregnancy. Watching W.D. do their routine with a different trapeze artist and listening to her family sing joyfully throughout the show made her ache with longing to be back with them.

During her pity party, she noticed that a hoop was on the ground and was hooked up to a sandbag. Anne realized she could easily set the hoop back up into the air, even with her big belly in the way. She quickly looked around to see if anyone was around to stop her, then suspended the hoop in the air. The hoop was no more than a foot off the ground, so she sat herself on it, still holding the rope that would suspend her in the air farther, and easily balanced herself on the ring, even with her weight change.

Anne felt instant happiness suspended in the air like this. She moved the rope and sandbag in a way so she would go higher into the air. Now she was a couple feet off the ground and she feels more alive than she has in months. A little higher, she thought, no one was around to stop her, plus she was Anne Wheeler, expert trapeze artist. Anne was no more than ten feet off the ground, filled with more glee than she has felt since leaving the circus, when Phillip stormed out of his office with a voice sounding like P.T. calling after him. Anne had not noticed him, too wrapped up in her own mind.

That is when it all went to hell.

When Phillip walked up the edge of the ring, he realized it was Anne, his pregnant Anne, who was suspended in the air, not one of the other trapeze artists. In full shock he yelled, “Anne, what on earth do you think you are doing?”

Anne, surprised that someone had seen her, lost her balance for a split second. She let go of the rope keeping her suspended in the air and went free falling.

Phillip reacted in a spilt second and caught the rope before she hit the ground. He slowly lowered her the rest of the way down and helped her off the hoop before letting it hit the ground.

All Phillip wanted to do was hug Anne, because she was safe, but after what happened in the office, his rage took over him.

“Anne, we just left the doctor, where he told you that you had to be careful! Did you not hear his warnings? Do you have a death wish? Do you have any idea how dangerous that was for the babies?!”

In that moment, Anne let all her pent-up frustration out, “I’m sorry that I wanted to go back to my old life for one second! How dare I have a minute of joy after four months of sickness and despair, because I cannot do the one thing that has made me the happiest!! I cannot have anything for myself anymore, because now not only do I have to worry about surviving something I did not sign up for, but now I have to make sure I successfully bring life to three helpless creatures! What an absolute MONSTER I am to you and these unborn creatures!!!!”

Phillip felt like his breath was knocked out of him. He did not realize how much Anne was suffering. He was too wrapped up in his own worries to see the sadness in Anne’s eyes.

He reached out to her, to apologize and to explain, but instead she shook her head and ran out the tent with tears streaming down her eyes, leaving Phillip alone.

Chapter 1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7 ~ 8 ~ 9 ~ 10 ~ 11