#as in I wasn’t treating my chronic health condition well enough to work ergo I wasn’t trying hard enough | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

emeraldcreeper · 1 year ago

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I kind of love how my therapist was like ya that living situation was Really Really Really bad for your mental and physical health, you may be mildly scarred from that it seems because holy shit from what you’ve said it was godawful for you in a polite way and said effectively that living situation was not great for you it seems, you can enjoy being out of it before you worry about the everything else

#I forget that I write as an outlet much like physically running from my problems via long walk with a snack and water at a scenic location #and lately I’ve been writing a very therapeutic au/romcom setup #I was living with my grandma and mom forrrrrrr #8-9 months #and getting that I wasn’t doing enough to contribute to the general life thing #as in I wasn’t treating my chronic health condition well enough to work ergo I wasn’t trying hard enough #which mmmm has caused Some Trauma to the me #where I continually am stuck in the thought loop of I’m not doing my best right now #when I used to could rationalize it out #like oh yeah it’s natural I’d fuck up in this class it’s awful and hard #obviously it’s not my fault I’m dealing with chronic migraines and finding ultra easy and low effort work is hard to do #when screens and daylight hurt #and of course it’s causing a negative feedback loop #because i legitimately thought it was like a high school thing but no #I had to think back and went wait I’ve fucked things up like mildly but I never thought I wasn’t good enough at them #then I went oh it’s the new normal I’m #under right now that’s causing the…. Issues #also she had the thought I had vis a vis editor #but my rough drafts are So Awful that I’m like no I can’t make someone do this shit ona regular basis #plus 90% of my wips are Specific Kink content #vent

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