#as if they aren’t both like. 13 they’re gonna have immature arguments give it a rest 😭

[aquarterasian]

precure is for kids who don’t care about the plot and just want to watch pretty girls fight monsters and for people who do care about the plot and characters but are able to recognize that the target audience is children and aren’t allergic to fun

[stateofloveandnegan]

Fifteen Years - Ben Barnes

I love Ben Barnes with everything I’ve got so I just HAD to write something about him. 

I’m very happy with the story, just not very satisfied with the end, but I suck at endings so I’ll just let it be.

Requested by: no one

“It’s just frustrating, Denise.” I sigh, placing my head in my hands. “He’s still in my mind, after 15 years he still hasn’t left my fucking mind.”

Denise looks at me with sad eyes, taking ahold of my heads, causing me to look back at her, “The fact that his face just keeps on popping up everywhere doesn’t help either.”

The last couple of months Denise and I have been going to the bar more frequently than before. The breakdowns were honestly getting the best of me and going out, drinking until I can’t think straight anymore, drinking until his face finally leaves my mind, seems the best way of getting through it.

I tell Denise I’m getting another round of drinks to which she nods. When I reach the bar I’m met with someone familiar. “Hey Brent.” I say with a small smile, trying to hide my pain.

“(Y/N)! gosh it’s been a while! How are you?” he asks, pulling me into his embrace for a bit, but letting me go quickly.

I smile, happy to see someone who actually cares about me, other than Denise. “I’ve been all right. What about yourself?” I ask him.

Brent and I used to date two years ago. The break up was a mutual decision and I couldn’t have wished for a better break up. I never revealed the real reason of why things didn’t work out for me though.

What would you say to your boyfriend? ‘hey uhm, I want to break up with you ‘cause my ex is on my mind 24/7, even though he dumped me to become a famous actor 13 years ago’? I think not. I didn’t lie to him either, though. I told him things just didn’t really work for me, because I didn’t feel that special spark. Fortunately, Brent felt the same and we separated afterwards.

“I’ve been good, thanks.” he states, before grabbing the drinks in front of him. I do the same, having already ordered the drinks beforehand. We both walk back to where the tables are placed. “So, who’s the lucky guy tonight?” Brent asks with a playful voice.

I nudge him softly, careful not to spill any of the drinks. “No guy, just a night out with Denise.” I tell him while pointing at her. They notice each other and she waves at him.

“It was great seeing you again, (Y/N). But I’m gonna go back to my table now, Laura might be wondering what’s taking me so long.” he says, I smile at him, happy he’s still with Laura. Laura was a friend of his even back when we were a couple. They got together a couple of months after we called it quits.

“Yeah of course, go. Tell her I said hi.” I smile and we part.

Denise smiles at me when I sit down across from her, “I always liked Brent, you know? He was good for you.”

I roll my eyes, but smile nonetheless, “I know. He was a sweetheart, still is. But Laura is way better for him. He deserves her and she deserves him, more than I do.” To which Denise let’s out a sigh.

The evening goes pretty smoothly. Denise and I both decided to stay sober tonight for once, both not wanting to face an immense hangover tomorrow.

“Denise, is that you?” a voice speaks up from behind me. I’m too deep in though to realise who that voice belongs to. When I meet Denise’s eyes I notice they’ve gone extremely wide.

She nods, “Yeah, yeah it’s me.”

When her eyes meet mine, I get too curious and turn my head to see who’s making Denise so tense.

The minute I lay eyes on him, his eyes go wide and I immediately turn my head back to face Denise with wide eyes as well.

“(Y/N)?” Ben’s voice sounds surprised and …happy?

He walks up to our table and stands beside it, seemingly more interested in me than Denise, who’s watching the encounter with big eyes.

“How have you been? I haven’t seen you since-” he starts, stopping halfway through his sentence, looking at me with sad eyes. “well, since..”

“Since you dumped me, you want to say?” I say, my gazing moving from Denise to Ben and finally meeting his eyes again.

He looks away for a mere second, quietly muttering “It’s been 15 years.”

Ben kept on calling and texting me today to ask if I could come over. I kept on telling him I had to work till late, so he asked if I wanted to grab dinner somewhere tonight.

That’s why I am sitting in a restaurant now, Ben sitting in the seat across from me.

“What’s up, Ben? You seem tense.” I say, searching for his eyes, who been avoiding looking at me ever since we met up.

He shrugs and I let out a sigh, “It’s kind of annoying when you’re boyfriend keeps on calling and texting you all day because he needs to see you for something and then when you finally see him he says nothing.”

That’s when his eyes finally meet mine, they’re clouded, it seems like he’s been having an argument with himself all night. “I just…” he starts, searching for the right words. “I need to talk to you about something, but I don’t know how.”

I send him a smile while reaching for his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze, “There’s no need to be so nervous, babe. Just spill it out.”

Ben seems to tense up even more after my comment. “It’s not as easy as that, (Y/N).” he snaps, causing my smile to disappear. “I’m trying to break up with you, here.”

It comes out as a whisper.

Tears are already threatening to spill down my face as I remove my hand from his. “You’re- you’re trying to- to do what?” I stutter.

“It’s just- I need to focus on my career and I can’t do that with you around me.”

He probably didn’t mean it like the way I interpret it, but that doesn’t occur to me.

I just stare at him for a couple of minutes, tears silently streaming down my face. “It’s over, (Y/N). I’m sorry.” he says, his voice quivering.

“No you’re not.” I whisper softly before grabbing my belongings and running out of the restaurant. I can hear Ben calling after me, but all I need right now is to leave him behind and go to Denise to let it all out.

Which I do. I reach Denise’s house not much later, banging on her door like a maniac. She’s opens with an annoyed expression, but that soon fades when she sees me.

I throw myself at her, sobbing like a fool. She helps me inside, closing the door with her foot, and brings me to the couch in the living room.

After the story is told, my sobbing has died down a bit, silence taking over the apartment.

“I thought he was going to propose, Denise.” I tell her when I look up to meet her eyes. “He sounded so nervous on the phone and he acted so nervous at the restaurant, which was fancy, to be honest. I really thought he was gonna propose or something.”

“Well, I must admit you’ve made it pretty far.” I say, my voice dripping with venom.

Ben was 22 back then, I had just turned 20. Which leaves us 35 and 37 now. I know I’m acting immature, but I just can’t help it. Every time I saw him on my screen, my heart broke a bit more, piece by piece. He’s destroyed me and he probably doesn’t even know. What’s even more pitiful is the fact that I’m still in love with the guy. After 15 years of crying about him, after 15 years of wondering what he’s up to, seeing news articles about him being seen with an actress, 15 years of him dating other women. After 15 whole fucking years I’m still in love with the ass who broke my heart and has been crushing it ever since.

Ben sighs sadly, “I have, haven’t I?” more telling himself than either me or Denise.

Denise notices the tears in the corners of my eyes and speaks up, trying to get the attention back to her, “What are you doing here anyways? I mean, you haven’t been here for years, aren’t you afraid people will recognise you?”

He looks up and looks at me, but soon moves to face Denise, realise I kept avoiding his gaze. “I eh, I was just- I came back to meet up with some old friends.. Thought I’d come by in my favourite pub from back in the day, you know? Maybe cross some people I used to know..”

Ben keeps sending glances at me while he’s speaking. My eyes are still glued to the wall. After he’s done I finally move my head to face him. “Well, you have come across some people you usedto know. It was a pleasure seeing you, it’d be a great honour if you could also sign this paper for me.” I say, sarcasm clear on my voice, before shoving a coaster in his direction. “Now, though, I’m going home.” I inform both Denise and Ben before standing up and leaving the place.

“She isn’t very happy to see me, is she?” Ben softly asks Denise, who scoffs. “Don’t tell me you thought she’d be happy to see you, Ben.” She says before grabbing her own coat and standing up. “Eve after 15 years, she’s still heartbroken over you. She thought you’d propose to her that night. You were always the one for her. What’d you do if the love of your life dumps you because they need to focus on their career, but you notice them going out with other people not much later after they’ve dumped you?”

Guilt. That’s what Ben is feeling. It’s completely consuming him. He jumps up from his seat, following Denise outside. “Will you let me talk to her? She needs to know why I’ve actually come back.”

Something like amusement flickers through Denise’s eyes, “You aren’t back here to meet up with your old pals, are you?”

“I can’t live without her any longer, Denise…”

“Just go, you know where she lives. I can’t promise you she’ll be easy though. She’s become a fierce woman. Broken, but fierce.”

Ben doesn’t need to be told twice. He’s off, running his way through the streets, off to my house.

About two minutes after I step inside my house there’s a knock on my door. Quite similar to my knock 15 years ago on Denise’s door. I walk over to the door and open it hesitantly. My expression turns from confused into angry when I meet his eyes.

I move to slam the door closed in his face, but he’s too soon and puts his hand on the door to prevent me from closing it. “(Y/N), please don’t…”

“Why not? What do you want?” I snap, tears becoming visible to him.

He sighs and looks at the ground, “Will you please let me explain?”

Not wanting to stay in the door way any longer, mostly because it’s terribly cold outside and I’m freezing right now, I give in and stand aside for him to enter my house. A house he was once so familiar with, but has become unfamiliar territory over the years.

I walk back into the kitchen, grabbing a wineglass and a bottle of wine, pouring way too much in it before taking a long swig. When I move back to the living room, Ben is standing there, his coat hanging over his arm.

“You wanted to explain something?” I ask, my voice quivering, but it’s still clear that I don’t want him here.

He nods. “I haven’t been completely honest with you. I am not back to- eh, to meet up with friends. I’m back because I needed to see you.”  

My eyes meet his, it’s only now that I realise how broken he looks. It’s the same look he had on his face that day in the restaurant.

“I have made a mistake many years ago.” he continues, “A big one at that. I eh- I broke up with a girl I actually loved with my whole being. I broke up with her because I thought it was best. I thought it would make me focus on what was important to me, still is. But I didn’t realise she was important to me as well. Probably even more important than my career. I realised that when it was too late. I figured she didn’t want to see me ever again, so to keep my mind from her, I started dating someone else. I’ve dated multiple women over the years, yet no one ever came close to that girl.”

It’s quiet for a bit, as if he’s waiting for me to react. But I keep quiet, not knowing what to say.

So he speaks up again, “Every damn time I was dating someone I kept comparing her to you, (Y/N). I kept myself away from you as long as I could, but I can’t anymore. I simply can’t.”

That’s when everything he just told me sinks in. “And you think that I still want you back? Don’t I get a say in this, Ben?” I yell at him and he flinches.

“Of course you do. I just needed you to know.”

I scoff, taking another sip of my wine, “You know, you should really have thought of that when you dumped me.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. It was nice to see you again.” he says quietly and starts putting on his coat again, making his way over to the door.

I quickly place my glass down and move to stand behind him. He notices my presence and stops moving in front of the door.

“It’s been 15 years and I still can’t get you off my mind.” I whisper, causing Ben to let out a breath.

He turns slowly, facing me with watery eyes, very much mirroring my look. “I tried dating other guys. Never has it worked out. It never worked, Ben, because they weren’t you.”

He takes a step closer, hesitantly moving his arm up, putting his hand on my cheek and wiping away the tears. “I hate myself for what I did to you.” he says through quiet sobs. “I hate myself for choosing my career over you.”

I completely melt into his touch, closing my eyes and letting out a quivering breath. Ben moves even closer and moves his hand from my face to the back of my head. His other arm winds around my waist, pressing my body against his. “I’m so, so sorry for what I did.” he whispers into my hair, stroking my back with his hand.

All the hatred I had for this man only a couple of minutes ago has vanished. I quietly sob into his chest while I can feel him sniffling as well.

He moves me back and meets my eyes once more. “We’re both a wreck, aren’t we?” I ask quietly, letting out a breathy laugh. He joins me and moves his hands to cup my face.

We both just stare into each others eyes for a moment. I feel myself leaning in, Ben doing the same, and after a second his lips meet mine and a very slow, gentle, and desperate kiss. All the emotions from the past couple of 15 years poured into it.

When we break apart he pulls me into his embrace, his head in the crook of my neck. “I’m a fool, (Y/N). But I’m a fool for you.”

I chuckle at his statement, wrapping my arms around his body. We stay like that for a while, just embracing each other, happy to be back in each others arms.

Later, when we’re sitting on the couch, facing each other, he takes my hands in his and a cheeky grin enters his face. “Denise told me you were expecting a proposal that day.”

I let out a laugh and nudge him playfully, “Shut up, idiot. I was in love with you. You were the love of my life, I thought I was yours too.” I say, looking down at my lap. The memory hurts and talking about it hurts even more.

I hear him sigh, “You were. Still are, actually.”

My gaze meets his again and he sends me a smile, “I love you, (Y/N). Even after 15 years I’m still madly in love with you. As I said earlier: I’m a fool for you.”

I can’t help but let out a chuckle once again. I move closer to him and turn a bit, pressing my back against his chest and letting my head rest on his shoulder. “I love you too, Ben. After 15 years I’m still completely and utterly in love with you.”

A couple of hours later, after talking about what our lives were like the past 15 years, Ben tells me it’s time for him to go back. I nod in agreement, feeling slightly disappointed. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” he says and I smile, grabbing his phone from the coffee table and gesturing for him to unlock it. “You do need my number for that, don’t you?” I tell him. He laughs and unlocks his phone.

After that he stands up and moves to actually leave, now. We stand still at the door, not really wanting to leave each other so soon.

I look at his face, happy to be able to call him mine once more. “It suits you.” I state randomly. He looks at me with a confused look. “The beard… It suits you.”

He laughs, “I keep forgetting how long it’s been.”

I embrace him one last time for the night, “Good night, Ben.”

He smiles and moves his head back, looking down at my lips and kissing me softly once more. “Good night, (Y/N). I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Definitely.”