#as i was posting this a job employer called me back too!!! so I'm probably getting a job!!!

[frogcereal29]

Pls read this first bit <:3 just so u know what ur getting into:

Ok. ITS FINALLY FUCKING HERE. PLSSS understand theres little to no structure to these, just random little ideas thrown about, some of this shit might even contradict itself, but I've read over this like 4 times and if anything is out of place or misspelled lmk. NSFW WARNING, its all mixed in with sfw sorry😭 also there is an TW for SA!!! Its not in detail but I touch on stuff i think nikto went thru and i mention it along with abuse and him being burnt alive briefly so yeah :( you don't have to read that I'll put a warning before it.

And Now I present....

Frog's Nikto & Krueger headcanons:

- I think Nikto would actually love music, he's just picky. Please don't play some catchy radio-pop shit, the voices will be repeating it in his head for hours. He needs something loud and/or emotional that silences them. Or classical music, weirdly enough.

- He learned that from Krueger, who you would never expect it, but dabbles in classical music often. Like its not his whole music identity, probably only a third of it. But he introduced it to Nikto and he found the same solace in it that Krueger did. What can I say? Classical music really is just nice to the brain, even to mentally unstable guys.

- Nikto is bisexual, and is comfortable with it, despite his religious upbringing. And Krueger has NO label. He refuses to be bound by one. As long as you have gentials, are hot, and can consent, Krueger is stickin his dick in it.

- Both used to primarily swing towards women, but the predominantly male environment of the military brought out their deepest dreams and desires with the same sex. Krueger definitely swings mostly towards men now, but Nikto is exactly 50/50 split, just don't feel like he'd have a side yk?

- Nikto doesn't get action a lot outside of sex with krueger, and sex is rarely passionate/meaningful for him (he mostly uses it to relieve stress or cause he's bored, Krueger gets it. Though the post-nut clarity nikto gets is immense, but he keeps doing it anyways), and he probably doesn't feel attraction often, so I feel like he doesn't think about which gender he swings towards more. Just fucks whoever he can get some action with and goes about his life.

- I feel like despite everything though, Nikto is a lover, he loves his friends, he loves his family, his pet. Its just not the typical outward kind of love. You gain his trust and you have a friend til the grave, also he's for sure a family man, at least he deeply yearns to be. He knows he can't though, and that it's not possible (or safe) now with the life he's led, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't lay awake at night thinking of what could've been...five kids, a big house with a white picket fence, right back in the hometown he grew up in in Russia.

- he still wouldn't mind a partner in his current situation, but please don't expect a normal relationship with him. He's anything but and needs a partner that can handle it.

- expect silence, it doesn't have to be uncomfortable unless you make it that way, but if you're someone who enjoys carrying 95% of the conversation, or sitting in silence, you'll come to really enjoy his company

- good listener, you can tell all the tea and drama to Nikto, and he's not a diva so the drama dies with him, not like he cares anyways.

- CANNOT TRUST KRUEGER WITH THE TEA. He has selectively loose lips, if he gains some funny new information (potential blackmail hehe :3), he'll grab and run with it.

- Him and Krueger genuinely do love and care for eachother (and they have a freaky weird way of showing it), but they aren't dating. They still sleep around with others, but they somehow always end up back in each other's arms.

- I feel like this is partly cause of Krueger, who really isn't the type to seal the deal like that. He jokes and calls nikto his husband or boyfriend sometimes (especially if nikto is nagging at him) but he likes his options open. Although he would be lying if he said he didn't think about Nikto when fucking others... That man just does something to him.

- in those rare moments Nikto does find himself deeply attracted to someone, whether that's Krueger or someone else, he feels like a weak little boy again, his heart is beating fast and he can't even pin point the feeling until he finally caves and goes to the on-site nurse because the feeling of being this infatuated is so foreign he thinks he's sick.

- even prior to his facial deformalities, I don't think he had many girlfriends, he probably had some in High School, but I feel like he joined the military early on and put his work and life goals first and foremost before any woman (or man). Around the time he started finally thinking of settling and finding someone nice, the Zakhaev situation happened, and it just about killed his love life for years.

- This is my own dark personal hc, and please don't paint this as me being disrespectful (TW HERE!!) but I do believe he was SAed, along with being physically, mentally, and emotionally abused during his time there. Guys can experience abuse too, and having rep for them is important!! (Especially rep w/o it being comically charged, wtf hollywood😐) and I believe that anything awful that can happen to a person without killing them, probably happened to nikto, whatever he went through litteraly erased his old sense of self so like... It was awful, absolutely horrific. Because of this, he wouldn't let anyone touch him for the first few months back from being captive, he was aggressive and set off by things that seemed little to others, but sent his mind spiraling, bringing the horrors back to memory. it took being forced by fellow soliders to get him into very temporary therapy, (it lasted three months) at least enough so he could trust and work with people again and so he could get back to his job.

- (Another tw here!!) I also think he was burned, chemically, and with cigarettes, and I wouldn't be surprised if they doused him in gasoline, lit him up, and then put him right back out with a bucket of freezing cold ice water. He suffered so much shit that no human should have to go through, the fact he's alive should earn him a comically large trophey and a free trip to hawaii, he deserves it and so much more💔

- if you are close to him, you'll very quickly find he has subtle ways of showing his affection

- Man is an acts of service and gift-giving type of lover. Expect lots of russian treats, and jarred goods randomly appearing in your fridge, or wrapped neatly in a gift bakset on the kitchen counter. And expect anything around you that breaks to be fixed within the hour. Table leg broken? Blink, and think again! Leaky pipe? Boom. Consider the pipe, unleaked.

- I just know they are BOTH ass men. Ass and thighs all day, everyday. Man or woman, don't care, SIT ON THEIR FACEEEEEE🗣🗣🗣

- Nikto's entire face has texture. From scarring. Do with that what you will.

- Krueger has a tongue slit, as well as a shit ton of peircings, he loved body mods in his youth, but he hasnt worn any of them since he fled his home country. (The piercings he had specifically, cause I love piercings, as for anyone else who does too☺️: eyebrow piercing on both sides, bridge, snake bites, smiley, septum and both nostrils, industrial on left side, 3 lobe piercings on both sides, helix & forward helix on right side, snake eyes, nipple piercings, and yes... A prince albert to top it all off, like i said he sadly doesn't wear any of the jewelry anymore because it would just be more inconvenient for his job, but you can see the piercing holes are still there if you look close enough.)

- because of this, you can imagine what that freaky-deaky split tongue can do ;)c ur welcome!

- Nikto has a breeding kink. Like I said earlier, he wants to be a family man. If his partner is afab, he fantasizes getting them pregnant, the pride that would swell in him seeing them swell with his kids. this man will whisper things about your future with him, and your non-existent children into your ear like its the hottest shit in the world. But he always pulls out💔 (he won't use condoms, pulling out is the only method of 'protection' he'll use. Same with Krueger honestly.)

- when his sex life does get passionate and serious, Nikto feels like a Pearly Gates kinda guy (look up 'pearly gates sex position' if you dunno) especially if his mask is off and its the beginning or early on in a relationship. He looses confidence easily in the bedroom with lovers, especially if he thinks for even a moment that they might be unattracted to him. This position allows him the best angle to feel them up and carress their body, and whisper sweet things into their ear, all while also hiding himself from them (since they'd be looking up at the ceiling in this position)

- omg there so many nikto hcs here, i forgot all my Krueger ones sksgska

- Krueger listens to Mindless self indulgence, thank you for coming to my ted talk.

- Krueger knows how to play the drums. He learned back when he was a young rambunctious teenager, and now, he's a old rambunctious man :)

- I think Krueger always had a rebellious nature to him, he spent his teenage years commiting petty crimes in Austria with a gang of doggish boys like him. He finally killed his parents after a long history of disagreement and dissaproval with them. He was 19 years old and so fucking sick of their bitching, and when they found out he was doing hard drugs, they threatened to turn him into the police, he just couldn't have that.

- Krueger and nikto have matching tats somewhere, idk of what, but I just imagine one dumb drunk night, krueger got nikto all hammered and feeling riskque, stumbling around bars with him, they stumbled right into a tattoo parlor and got a small one, maybe tramp stamps, maybe right on the buttcheek or above their crotch, but somewhere they have something really silly or eachothers names tatted down, and neither of them want to talk about it.

- Kruger's names for Golem and Nikto is his phone are 'Ehemann Eins' and "Ehemann Zwei" and if he meets anymore men and gets close with them, they will be named and numbered accordingly in his contacts.

- both Nikto and Golem (yay golem hcs!!) Have their contacts for him as 'the fucker' but in their respective language.

Is this enough to post? Lol? I had more before the deletion cause I wanted a lot of hcs for ppl to read but I've seen how much I've rewritten and I don't wanna risk my dumbass loosing this again, so im posting it at the length its at, crazy it took me weeks to think and write everything down originally, but took maybe 2 hours total to rewrite it. Anyways, enjoy!! I can just write more later if I remember anything else!

[certifieddilfenjoyer]

In Plain Sight - an interactive Gus FringxGN!Reader

============================ How does it work? At the end of every chapter, you will be presented with a hyperlink, disguised as a dialogue or action option, which will then lead you to a chapter following your choice and so on and so forth :)) Please let me know what u think (please don't sh#! on me choosing the xGN! instead of xBoy, I wanna enjoy my story as well lol) ============================ INFO: ============================ Yes, there are going to be smut chapters involved at some point. You can expect tags like: (MDNI!!!)

Domination, degradation, submission, power imbalance, sexual tension, hate fuck, choking, bondage, recording the deed, manhandling, hair pulling, dragging across the floor, Gus being the only receiver, etc etc.

The course of chapters, so smutty stuff as well, depends on your choices. If you read through the fanfic once, you can always come back to this main page and try other options! :D

The action is happening during BCS, not necessarily Breaking Bad (but I so badly wanna do something with the boxcutter, well, we will see), so you can expect appearances or mentions of Lalo, Nacho, etc. (but I don't like them so it's Gus focused) and there's gonna be Mike! <3 Now, the fanfic is not fully finished, so if you don't see the hyperlink at the bottom, it simply means that I haven't added the chapters yet. Please be patient <3 <3 ============================= UNFORTUNATELY it turns out that Tumblr does not support my idea completely as every time I edit a post, the URL of the said post changes which is incredibly bad as the more I write the more chapters I'd need to edit each time. Because of that I have moved this project to my blog that I created specifically for this and future x Reader projects: https://xrdr.blogspot.com/

You adjust the headphones in your ear and feel your heart sink as you fight to recover balance on your bicycle. You take a deep breath of fresh, moist air with a heavy scent of rain and turn the handle bar to the left. You pass through a big rain puddle and speed up, allowing your bike to gain momentum as you continue down the road. In the distance, a big glowing logo casts a cone of yellow hue on the glossy street. You feel your heart speed up as you try to go through all the possible questions that employers usually ask during an interview.

As you turn your bike to the parking lot of the fast food restaurant - Los Pollos Hermanos - you anxiously check if your pant legs got dirty. You sigh with relief and drive your bike to the bicycle stand and secure it there with a key chain. You brush your hands across the fabric of your clean, light blue shirt and enter the building. It's most deserted, probably due to the bad weather and the late afternoon hour.

You nod at the employees, currently taking care of the kitchen and the dining area. They nod back and one of them appears in front of the counter, waiting to take your order. You take a quick glance at the person and suddenly you become hyper-aware of all of his facial features. You want to inspect his entire face, but you know damn well it would be weird and most likely make him uncomfortable.

'Hello, I am here for the job interview. I was told that I will be speaking to the manager named Monica.'

The man smiles at you in the most heart-warming way you've seen in your life.

'Monica is unable to attend due to personal reasons. I will be taking over your interview process.'

'I see,' you nod and offer him your hand. 'Y/N.'

'Gustavo Fring,' he introduces himself and takes your hand into his. You can feel the strength resonating off his body and the hard texture of his palms. 'Nice to meet you.'

The name rings a bell immediately. You remember that Monica introduced the Los Pollos Hermanos brand to you over the phone and his name was mentioned at least once.

'Nice to meet you too, sir. Are you the owner of the food chain?'

'Yes.'

'Oh, I'm sure you're busy then. If Monica called in to cancel, I can be rescheduled as well,' you suggest.

'That's not going to be necessary, but I do appreciate your consideration,' he gives you a smaller smile, still just as warm as the first one.

You respond with the same expression and look to the side a moment later, feeling butterflies in your stomach. You blame it on the thrill of the new job interview and look back at the man. His eyes seem like an endless void, which immediately sinks you in.

'Do you need any more time?' he asks.

'No, but I'd like to wash my hands first,' you inform him and look around the restaurant. He lowers his gaze onto your face, observing you for a moment with a lingering smirk.

'It's over there,' Gustavo says after a few seconds, extending his arm to his right side.

You nod and turn on your heel, then go to the bathroom. As you catch your reflection in the mirror, you notice a small blush on your face.

'Oh my God,' you roll your eyes and turn on the tap, then wash your hands with soap.

When you return to Gustavo, he leads you to his office at the back of the building. The room is fairly small, with a small window above his desk. There is almost no sunlight sinking inside the office and it has a weirdly hostile vibe to it, even though the owner looks like nothing else but a sweetheart.

'Please, take a seat.'

You sit down at the chair and adjust yourself in the seat, then straighten your back, while Gustavo sits on his chair in front of you, immediately taking on a perfect posture. You can feel your heartbeat speed up as he opens up the lid of his laptop and you can see a small reflection of your resume in his thin-framed glasses.

'Let's begin, Y/N.' You nod enthusiastically and he gives you an encouraging smile as his eyes come back to yours. 'I don't usually review resumes of candidates without any previous experience in gastronomy.'

A slight hint of worry flashes through your face, immediately noticed by Gustavo.

'Can you tell me why you decided to make an exception?'

He makes a pause and observes you for a while. The single ray of the sun, sinking through the window behind him, falls onto his neck, creating a shadow of his figure, which is reaching all the way across the wooden desk towards your clasped palms.

'We are in need of employees. We are planning to expand to another restaurant soon and some of my employees from the restaurant in which we are sitting are going to be transferred, as it is closer to their home address.'

'Congratulations on the expansion!' you throw in the comment.

'Thank you very much,' he responds. 'What made me accept your resume is the fact that you live near this area, but mostly it was the fact that I realized that you are a foreigner, correct?'

'Um, yes,' you are taken aback by his question and you mask your discomfort before it gets noticed. 'I came here from New Mexico.'

'I'm from Chile. I know how hard it is to get your first job here, that's why I decided to give you a shot,' he admits.

'That is so very kind of you,' you say openly.

Gustavo raises his hands and connects them in front of his chin.

'But hard or not, I am going to treat everyone equally, without giving anyone a head start.'

'Understandable.'

'Because you do not have any prior experience with customers, can you tell me, if perhaps at school or in other areas in your life, have you encountered a difficult situation, a conflict that you managed to solve?'

Even though before coming to the interview, you had multiple sessions of talking to yourself in front of a mirror, preparing possible answers for usual interview questions, you cannot help but feel a little sting of stress at the question. Your mind presents you with a flash of an image, a painful memory of a rainy night and the car lights aimed straight at your face. There is an older man standing in front of you and a much younger one to his side.

'Y-yea,' you answer and clear your throat. 'Sorry. I remember solving a conflict in my classroom, where three of the top students wanted to take the responsibilities of being the class president. I suggested a class vote to clear the confusion. The other time I also stopped a fight between two classmates.'

'How exactly did you achieve that?'

'They were arguing about some girl. I went in between them,' you respond and see his eyebrows rise slightly. 'I know, a risky move, but it was worth it. They cooled down a bit, didn't hit each other and I just listened to both of their stories. It turned out - I don't remember the context now - but it turned out that they misunderstood each other.'

Both of the stories are made up, but Gustavo Fring doesn't have to know that. He doesn't need to be made aware of the fact that your cartel family never allowed you in a public school and that you are home-schooled. He also shouldn't be made aware of your fake ID that you used for your resume.

'How would you deal with a customer who reports incorrectly prepared food? For example undercooked chicken wings?'

You look to the side, then let your eyes wander across the wall and up to the ceiling, as you make a slow, quiet humming noise, thinking about the answer.

'Do I see the food that this imaginary customer reports?'

'Let's assume that in this particular scenario, you do.'

'Ok, so I wouldn't check the recipe, because I can see the plate, so I ask them nicely what is wrong with the food.'

''It's disgusting' - that's what the customer is saying,' Gustavo responds with a shadow of a smile on his face.

''I really want to help you in this situation, but I need some more information, please. Is it not to your liking in taste or is the quality disappointing and how?' that's what I would ask, or something similar,' you clarify.

'The quality is disappointing, because the meat is partially raw.'

'I am very sorry to hear that, would you like to receive a refund of your chicken wings order or a special offer for our menu?' you respond, choosing your words carefully. You look for validation on his face, but it is unreadable.

'Would you not try the chicken wings yourself to verify their honesty, Y/N?' he asks after a moment. I would or I wouldn't

[bitter-limelight]

Time to sound like a cranky old person but,

I am begging gen Z to understand that you live in reality. Begging.

I work management in a job that attracts a lot of teens and young 20 somethings. It's an expected first job, not super hard, not super busy, but more involved than stocking shelves or bagging groceries. And I get some great kids once in a while, some young adults who are learning how to adult.

But I get more kids who are coming out of a post COVID terminally online cocoon who have never been given a realistic image of the world outside their Tik Tok screen and it's horrifying.

I routinely have kids who call out at least once a week because they're stressed, they're anxious, they don't feel good, they overslept, they stayed up too late (note that this is after I try to teach them that they do not need to tell their employer why they are calling out and that it's in their best interest to not share personal or medical information that can be used against them but they think saying they're sick will be a get out of work free card). I've had more than one employee who I find sitting on the floor in front of the customer area because they're tired or "just chilling". Several who tell me after they've been hired that they can't work mornings, can't work evenings, can't work more than 5 hours days or more than 3 days in a row. I've had several talk to me about how they need to prioritize their mental health and take a self care day today, and tomorrow, and two days next week.

And I'm WORRIED for these kids, because the thing is, they are right that capitalism is a soul crusher, that we are overworked, that we are expected to give too much, that we deserve better hours and better pay, that our mental health needs to be our priority. These are all true things, but they think they can step out of mom and dad's house and into a world where they will be given these things and that's just...not the world we live in.

When I get a new hire I tell them about what is expected of them, they sign papers about hours and call outs and attendence and how they can be fired for not following this (I have no power to hire or fire I just manage them at their work). And still I have 22 year olds crying at me in the bathroom because they got fired for calling out 13 days in a month. I have kids who don't understand why they can't just stand there on their phone "vibing." That they should be exempt from talking to customers because they have social anxiety and have to accommodate them (this is a customer service job, there is no accommodations for not interacting with customers ) "They can't fire me for being sick!" But they can. "They can't fire me, I'm disabled and need these accomodations!" But they can, because nobody ever taught you what a reasonable accomodation is. "But we have a union!" A union can't help you after you've been written up four times.

I try to be a good first job and first boss. You need an extra break? Sure, go grab a snack. A customer yelled at you? I'll handle it, go cool off then we will talk about what to do next time. If you have an emergency, talk to me, you can probably leave early. I try to be a buffer between these young people and the corporate machine above me, meeting them where they are while trying bridge the gap between their ideals and the reality they're facing. And I still have employees who quit, telling me they're over worked and this or that is illegal (it isn't, it's just unfair) and they're gonna go find a job where they're appreciated, only to come back a few months later and ask for their job back because everywhere else sucked too.

But sorry. You didn't put in your two weeks like I told you to so now you're non rehireable and banned from ever working at this brand again.

I admire Gen Z's desire for something better. I'm not here to be a corporate bootlicker. I'm here as someone who needs to work my ass off to make ends meet. I'm disabled, my options are limited. I've been fired for my disability, which is legal cause you can't prove that's why and do you have the money for a lawyer to fight them? I don't. I play the game, I get by, and I'm just honestly really worried for these kids who have big dreams of a better world but no idea how to get by in the one they are in. You gotta eat, you gotta pay rent, you gotta have heat and power and water. You have to survive while you work on a world where you can thrive.

This isn't "gen Z lazy, gen Z stupid, Gen z bad", this is gen Z, especially working class gen Z, disabled gen Z and queer gen Z is gonna be totally fucked if they don't learn some entry level work skills and how to not get fired from Costco

[literaticat]

Hi Jenn. Can you give any more tips about meetings on camera with potential agents or publishers? I know you said in a recent ask that it’s not like a job interview, but they feel like one? Also what kind of questions might they ask the writer about themselves that is NOT related to the book? E.g. Will they ask about your personal life? What about your job or employment status? What if the writer is unemployed or working in a job they don’t want to say what it is? Oh and if they can’t find much about you online or you don’t have much or any social media, will they ask about that? Or anything else you think might come up in general a writer doesn’t know about or might not expect. Can’t find a lot of info out there about this sort of thing, mostly just about traditional job interviews. Thanks!

I can speak to a call between an author and an agent -- or at least an author and THIS agent. First of all, it doesn't have to be zoom, I don't care, it can be phone or zoom, whichever you prefer. Get comfy, because I've never had one of these calls last less than 45 minutes - it's probably more likely to be an hour, or an hour and change.

I'd probably introduce myself, and let you introduce yourself. I'd talk about how much I like the book. I might ask you something like "what led you to this topic" or "what inspired the book" -- these are softball questions, you understand, it's not an interrogation, I am not going to ask you anything you don't know the answer to!

I might ask something like "where in the bookstore do YOU see the book" or "what sort of publishers are you envisioning" -- I might ask something like "what are your writing goals" or "what kinds of other things do you have cooking to write next".

If I have things to say about potential revisions, I'd tell you about that and see what you think, if we are on the same page, and what the next steps would be.

If I'm calling to offer representation, I'd tell you a bit more about me and the agency, how I work, what to expect if you sign with me, and walk you through the agency agreement, and I'd offer to send you a copy of it so you could take a look, as well as some emails of clients who might be open to chatting if you want to.

There are lots of posts online (like this one, from agent Jim McCarthy) about "Questions to Ask on The Call with an Agent" -- the thing is, I can guarantee you that most of those questions will have already been answered by the time we get to the end of my spiel. This is on purpose. I have done a LOT of these calls, and I tend to answer questions before they are asked!

But -- just in case there's anything you want to know about that I haven't addressed yet, I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have about me / the agency / what to expect / whatever.

Also, please know that I will never (NEVER) pressure you or ask you for an answer to anything on the phone. I will always (ALWAYS) suggest you take some time to think about it, you can follow up with questions after via email if you remember some, you can chat with clients, or talk to other agents, or whatever due diligence you need to do. I would appreciate it if you could get back to me in two weeks or so, but if there's a holiday or something in there, I realize it might take longer, and fair enough.

Will they ask about your personal life? Probably not! Unless it comes up. I might ask where you are located in the world if I don't know that already. Or if I do know that (because I saw your query and you mentioned it) I might say, "oh, I love Seattle" or whatever. If there was something else interesting in your bio, I might ask about that. ("So you collect miniature books? ME TOO!") -- But PERSONAL personal life? I don't care. (I mean I care ABOUT YOU -- if you want to tell me you have three kids and a pet tripod cat, I'm happy to hear about it -- and I would in turn tell you I have zero kids and a sassy puppy -- but I'm probably not gonna bring it up if you don't.)

What about your job or employment status? What if the writer is unemployed or working in a job they don’t want to say what it is? IF I were to say something like "so, what do you do for your day job" or something -- please know, I'm just asking that to ask something, bc that's the kind of thing people ask and it feels rude not to be interested in people's lives. It doesn't matter or anything. If you don't want to talk about your job, you can say something like, "I have a boring desk job, but the good news is, I can write during it!" or "Ugh, it's very dull, that's why I write fantasy!" (or whatever).

If you don't have a job, you can say "I was [a teacher / bartender / cat groomer / lawyer / whatever] in my past life, but now I am a stay-at-home tripod cat mom" or "I hated my job so I quit and am trying to be a full time writer!" or something else.

(The only exception to this: If you are IN ANY WAY related to books -- you are a bookseller, a librarian, an educator, you work at a publishing house, ANYTHING like that -- PLEASE TELL ME!!! That's extremely good info for me to have and I definitely DO care!)

Oh and if they can’t find much about you online or you don’t have much or any social media, will they ask about that? Maybe! "I looked you up online and couldn't find you -- do you have any social media or a website? Would you be open to starting one?" (If the answer to the first part is NO, hopefully the answer to the second part is Sure.)

[theanomily]

Regarding the H.I.V.E. birthday bundle, specifically my less-than-satisfactory contribution to it:

(Under a cut because I estimate this to be about 1000 words).

The shortest way I can say this is "sorry."

In a longer form, I acquknowledge that Wing is a beloved, respected character of the H.I.V.E. series, becoming a favourite of many, and ranking highly in the minds of everyone else. If anyone deserved better treatment in this event, it was undoubtedly him, not to mention the real-life disappointed H.I.V.E. fandom.

I also acquknowledge that this was probably the largest communal event since the release of Bloodline three years ago and that the date on which it was announced was long enough ago to counter any explanation I could possibly give, especially since I, as a minor, have more time to commit to any one project than an adult burdened with full-time employment and more significant responsibilities than I. Yet I shall offer one regardless and leave the perception of my character at the mercy of your own individual judgements. It is as follows:

Some of you might remember me directing a post to an "anon" threatening me in January, which I have since deleted. This is actually not a recent or isolated issue- not even for my blog, although I doubt that anybody remembers her posting so-called "edgy" stuff on it back in like 2019. But if you do, fun fact: it was the same person. This person used to be my friend, then a "girlfriend" and is now something of an enemy. As well as threats, there has been blackmail and cases of physical violence committed against both me and my other friends. The reason I bring this up is because she followed me to the store I worked at sometime mid Feburary and provoked me there too. I was stupid, I shouted at her, and I was rightfully fired as a result. And the reason I mention this at all is because it has been hell finding a new job, eating up the time I had specifically set aside for this project.

Then, the entirety of March I more or less dedicated to finally reading bloodline (I read it twice more after my initial "live react" posts so I could actually get the juice out of it).

On the 23rd of March, my cat died, and to be brutally honest, I spent the entirety of April not doing anything that wasn't complete brainrot (hence the surge in my blog activity 💀).

May brought with it UCAS exams (UCAS points being what you need in the UK to get into university).

June brought the results, one of which was a C in physics, a grade that my school, family, and peers viewed as an unforgivable failure. As such, I had devices as well as other "distractions," including my books, taken away until the end of July so I could focus on resitting everything. Additionally, I was forced to go to school two hours early for extra lessons, given hour long detentions until the end of the academic year and had to have random meetings during my breaks to really rub in how stupid I am (no exaggerations are being made here; my head of year managed to drag calling me the r slur into a forty minute rant on one occassion).

Then, in August, my uncle got into a car accident and requested that myself and my parents fly over into Zimbabwe to help him. Fair enough, but in the time it had taken us to get over there, the man had gone off-grid (as he has a habit of doing) and we still have no clue of his whereabouts.

I promise I will make amends, and the only path I can see heading towards this objective is completing and redoing what you have seen for this project alongside a few other elements I had planned to incorporate into it. To be more specific, I will:

- Finish the birthday bundle.

I'm sure you've noticed that the "playlist" and "prompts for you" categories are missing from my offering. This will be rectified, and I will add these to the original birthday bundle post so it can be completed. I had elected to avoid those categories as I figured that having a few tasks done to a "rushed and painfully mediocre" standard would be better than having a small amount of awful content for each element of the bundle. The reasons why those two categories were chosen to be neglected were that a) no music I know at all aligns with Wing and b) I had not noted that the "prompts for you" was an existing section and only remembered when reading through the example Otto post, meaning I had not left myself enough time to sit with and revisit ideas to see if they really were any good. Additionally, that fanfic is nowhere near finished. I do plan to edit the published chapter and then continue it, and I shall try my best to stick to frequent, regular updates of a higher quality and quantity than I have presented you with thus far.

- Improve what I have given you

I plan to drastically improve my digital art for each "mini" picture that's in my work- you can see that there's a very, very good reason why I kept them all mini. When I'm done, they will be transformed into something that can at least be posted at their full size without risking the health of your eyes.

- Add to what I've given you

I know I've done very few headcanons, so I'll be sure to focus on Wing for future ones that I'll publish on my blog. In all likelihood, the next post of mine will be a much longer list of Wing headcanons. And even if it is not next, it will still hopefully be in the near future.

My initial plan for the "Wing art" was to make a rudimentary physical model of him. I can't promise it'll be of high quality since the last time I did this, I was four years younger, working with better materials, working without keeping it a secret, and crafting the fox emoji rather than an entire person. I also can't see how the colour green, which is what I was assigned, will fit in. But I'll do it anyway.

Something that I played with a bit while waiting for the prompts to be given out was character art. Currently, I have WIPs for Shelby and Laura and have posted a Ms Leon. I want to do something for every character, and Wing will most certainly be included in that, so I promise I'll take extra care to do him justice when I get around to him. Consider it to be like a non-picrew alternative to the cover image.

I also have a physical drawing in the works, though I confess this too shall probably take a while in the interest of refining skills before applying them so I don't waste the one piece of sketch paper I bought.

Once more, I am so extremely sorry for what I have done, and I will ensure that never again shall this height of inadequacy be reached and inflicted onto people who deserve so much better.

Thank you for reading

[matchadobo]

have a oc that a part of the kid pirates rignt, tell me more a about her.

YES

first of all hi anon!

i haven't had the chance to actually elaborate more on her storyline, visuals, and characterizations bc of the shithole called school 🙁 i will try to get back on doing stuff for them but i doubt i'll be able to commit since we still have some work even on break 😩

but ANYWAYS

so margaret mulhall 🔫

PRE-MEMBER

i assumed you've already read her first post and their first meeting.

to provide more info, i based her character off of lucille mulhall. to put it simply, she's the first cowgirl originated from missouri. in this case, i made margaret's mother to be lucille. margaret made it her life goal to look for her mother, it is an irl canon event that lucille lives in st. louis so i made that margaret's destination.

margaret lives off as a ship hopper (is that a word) ever since she was of legal age. she's a mercenary who takes on jobs under a certain handler, it is an informal employment. i would cook some bullshit and say this employment is aided by someone who raised her. her father is... well... i haven't cooked up something for that yet 😩

she is scared of dogs LMAO that's why i made an art for it. i just find ppl scared of dogs really cute. most dogs are scared of new ppl too so they're just scared of each other it's the CUTEST thing 🥺.

in terms of personality, margaret is somewhat similar to robin hood. does crime for good? helps people but also breaks the law? a kindhearted criminal? she steals, knows her way around danger, very daring, may or may not have k1lled someone 🫣, slept around some places for certain conditions, and have SEEN some shit. her ideals are way too similar to a pirate tho, fuck the govt and celestial dragons kinda shit. she doesn't have a stigma against pirates, she have worked (mostly betrayed) with them side by side. she just hasn't really sat herself down to assess if she'll join one. she doesn't see the need for it (until she met kidd 🤧), she has a one track mind that is only set on reaching st. louis.

NOW-MEMBER

it'll be narrated in the comic that i'm hopefully planning to release, but here is the rough sketch of the next page that does not probably make sense

but i'm planning to have her join bc she saved kidd from the marines so there's some you-owe-me kinda stuff between them, she only saved kidd to let him have her on the ship and take her to st. louis. she'll only plan to stay on the ship until the victoria reaches the island and in the span of her stay, stuff will build up between margaret and kidd 🥰. once she leaves tho, kid'll begrudgingly ask her to be become part of the crew, chemistry is just too strong in this one😌. let's just say he'll miss her 😞. i'll do better explaining in the comic i'll make I SWEAR 🥺

you guys are free to send asks abt your thoughts on margaret's characterization or anything else that could help my oc! if it's some deets abt the story with her, it'd really help 🥺 i welcome your thoughts 🥰

[new-eyes-extra-colors]

WIP asks: 1, 6, 9, 11, 20

1, 6, 9, and 11 answered here, but I'm going to do some of them again because I can! Under the cut because this post is miles long.

9. What is your favorite dialogue you’ve written so far?

“So do you have another case you’re working on?” Nat bounced on the balls of her feet, looking at him eagerly. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Well, we’ll see once I get back to the office.” He cracked a smile. “What, Ellie only shared the one with you?”

Nat planted her hands on her hips. “Ellie went out with Piper and Nora last night and didn’t get back till late, so she’s still asleep.” Her voice dropped to a conspiratorial tone. “And maybe she came back a little tipsy. So maybe you’re out a secretary today, detective.”

Nick chuckled. “Glad she got to unwind. What about Nora?”

“She went back to your office last night and wasn’t here this morning, so I guess she’s still there.”

Huh. Probably got restless and decided to pore over some cases. God knows he could relate.

Nat crossed her arms again. “But she’s your partner, not your secretary, so it kinda sounds like you still have a staffing problem.”

Nick paused, and then leaned away, squinting at her. Most folks might’ve been intimidated being under that level of scrutiny from a synth, but Nat knew him well. She set her jaw and stared back.

“What’re you on about, kid?”

“I’m glad you asked. I could be your secretary for the day.”

“Yeah? Does Ellie know you’re gunning for her job?”

“I’m not! It would just be today.” Nat winced. “And maybe tomorrow. And the rest of the week. And you wouldn’t even have to pay me!”

“That ain’t how employment works, kiddo.”

“Oh, yeah? And how much did you charge your client after her lousy husband took off with their savings?”

Alright. Maybe Nat knew him too well. Nick could only look away.

“Uh huh, that’s what I thought.” She deflated a little, arms dropping back to her sides. “Besides, the real payment would be not having to go to school.”

He leveled a serious look at her. “Why? Is that Kawolski kid bothering you again? Piper, uh, told me what happened.”

“What, that I knocked him on his ass?”

Nick bit back a laugh. “Language, Nat.”

11. What scene are you most hyped for this chapter/fic?

I'm really excited to iron out the scenes that lead up to the confrontation with Kellogg. It's where the canon divergence in the fic really starts, and I'm hoping to get an "uh, what the hell is going on with that?" reaction from readers. Plus, it's got a big cast--Glory, Deacon, Preston, Piper, and Nick are all there, plus a few minor characters, and I love writing things where a group gets to bounce off each other. Actually, here, have some more, from the scene following the confrontation:

“Weird that they didn’t call for backup,” Glory said.

“Maybe the storm’s interfering with their communications, too,” Preston suggested.

“Maybe.” Glory shook her head. “I dunno. Something’s going on and I don’t like it. Kellogg was their best field operative. This was way too easy.”

Deacon scoffed. “Easy?” He lifted the skeletal hand of a dead synth by the wrist and dropped it for effect. “There were dozens of these guys, Glo.”

“Man, don’t be a jackass.” Deacon just shrugged against the force of her glare. “There were maybe thirty.”

Nora pulled her gaze away from the synth’s limp hand to look at Glory. “You were counting?”

Glory scuffed her boot against the concrete, nonchalant, or at least trying to be. “I mean, yeah. I think I missed a few outside, though.”

There was a long, uncomfortable pause. Glory was counting dead synths. Nick was getting patched up in the next room. He was so close to being one of them.

“I don’t know if easy is the word I would use,” Preston started diplomatically, “but we could have done a lot worse. No casualties on our side is good.”

20. Share 3 images that would fit to a mood board for this chapter/fic.

would you believe i've never made a mood board in my life How about three in-progress illustrations I'm working on for it...?

That third one is old, but I'm working on drafting up a more detailed redraw of it for another thing I'm working on. I'm also still trying to decide if I want to do like illustrated chapter title cards or something similar for the fic itself. (Opinions welcome!)

[androgynousbirdtale]

Thought post

So I've been going through some things... mainly at work. Like a lot of people, stuff started right before the pandemic for me. My boss, that hired me for my current position, left in February 2020. I've been a one-person training department ever since. Once the pandemic popped off, I was "adopted" by HR, which wasn't a bad thing. I'd worked with everyone for a year, and they needed help onboarding large groups of healthcare workers to cover testing and those who were out with COVID. During this time, I learned everything about HR - recruiting, pre-employment, onboarding, exit interviews, FMLA, unemployment, employment verification, I-9s, benefits, etc. So not a bad thing since I learned all of it. In mid-2022, I gave all those responsibilities back and distanced myself from HR because leadership changed in the department. The HR director they hired offended me in our first 1-on-1 meeting, which she decided we should have over lunch. This bitch invited me out to lunch and then didn't pay (Okay, but say something before I go with you to eat. Damn), on top of throwing several microaggressions at me in the first 10 minutes. I was too shaken to even say anything, and it takes me A LOT to be silent. 😒 I don't sugarcoat, and I never have. With me, what you see is what you get. I am outspoken and don't take shit from anyone. I'm not sensitive by any means, but she was the director of HR, and I expected her to know & do better. I went to the VP and told her straight up that if she didn't find me someone else to report to, I was probably gonna get fired.

Fast forward two weeks, and I became attached to the Director of Patient Experience. She got promoted to Director of Compliance, and I continued my work in training and learned all things compliance, policy, and procedures. The VP left about 6 months later, and they never rehired for her position.

The company announced a restructuring in March, and 67 people were let go. I was not a part of this group as I filled a need that no one else did, but it made me nervous. We were told that everything would be over by the beginning of May, and so it was. This boss left my company on Aug 7 (almost 2 weeks ago), and her boss became my boss. We also laid off 37 additional people that day and suddenly, my anxiety about my job went through the roof. So I had a conversation with the General Counsel (my new boss) on Aug 11 about expectations and things that need to be handled ASAP. This past Monday, Aug 14, she quit too.

So, of course, now I'm freaking out because I don't know what any of this means. My former boss contacted the General Counsel to check in, and she stated that she hit her limit of what she will put up with, and she resigned. This is worrisome on so many levels. We had an all-staff meeting on Thursday where it was made clear that all of this, coupled with clinic closings, was part of an effort to ensure we don't permanently close our doors. A year ago was the last time we received any communication about our financial situation; everything was fine. The new CEO blames the old one for serious financial mistakes, naturally.

Friday, I was part of a Departmental Update meeting, and it made me really uncomfortable to be talking to this group of people. The CEO rubbed me the wrong way by completely ignoring me and refusing to figure out what it is I even do or why my input was important when he first started last fall. So I haven't bothered to address or contact him for anything. In this meeting, he asked for names and what we do. When it was my turn, I listed all of the things I was responsible for, on top of being the most senior member on the call. He said he wanted to pick my brain, which I didn't like. I just need someone to handle some long outstanding shit that I can't get done on my own because I don't have the authority. That's it. Tell me what you need, and I'll get it done. I'll tell you what I need, and you support me to get it done.

I know that this is just a job and that I should do the bare minimum, which I have been enthusiastically doing since January 1, 2022. They don't pay me enough to do much more. But I still need the job because I've still got a while before I'm done with school.

I haven't slept more than 2 or 3 hours since Sunday night and am utterly exhausted. School starts again on Monday, and I need some sleep. J (my husband) suggested gummies for help with sleeping. I'm not into Green at all and haven't been since I was 16 or so. I don't like to smoke, and the last time I did was about 10 years ago. But his reasoning behind it was sound since I also don't take most meds (I'm incredibly sensitive and/or allergic to most medications). So we went to a shop about 5 miles from here, and I picked up my first bag of gummies. I'm pissed that my job has me on edge like this.

So I'm gonna eat some fatty food and take one. 🤞🏼 Wish me luck; I have no idea how this is gonna go. I'll be sure to report in after, LOL.

[aluynx]

sunday 9th july, 2023. rant. not coherent.

this past may i completed my first year of university, studying english literature with creative writing at some russell group university that costs too much to travel to. i moved back home and since then the only people i have seen on a regular basis are my own parents, the dogs and my next door neighbour. i had a job as a waitress for three shifts before they managed to decide i wasn't good enough and i am waiting to hear back following an interview for a night shift at a supermarket. a job i jokingly stated would be perfect for an autistic person such as myself, only for my potential employers to tell me that most of the night time employees were in fact on the spectrum. it seemed typically autistic for me to go after something that could worsen my sleep schedule even further, but cure my habit of spending 24/7 in the flat above my parents garage alone and earn me money, but without the prying eyes of customers.

under the guise of 'protecting my peace' and not wanting to interact with the two people my age in the tiny hamlet i call home, i have been rotting in my flat. alone. wasting away. i liked not being perceived but took offence to, with a few exceptions, no one reaching out and speaking to me. i had no motivation nor reason to leave so i haven't really, except a dog walk on the beach every two days.

since i last saw my friends i have greatly improved by spanish speaking skills, expanded my bitlife universe, rewatched sherlock for a million times, gotten obsessed with formula one again, read, written, argued with ticketmaster (the shittest customer service known to man) and earned money doing odd jobs around my parents house and garden. i've learned to cook more food, properly deep clean, train a new puppy and discovered i am not a creative genius. i feel i have learned a lot about myself in my solitude the past couple of months, moreso then during uni surrounded by people, yet i feel so unfulfilled, lazy and pathetic. i am not sure where to go from here.

i am aware i know more about myself then other people my age, from the amount of time i've been left alone with my own internal monologue, yet i can't help but feel like i'm constantly lagging behind in life. i have been trying so hard to catch up. i started getting up earlier, created a proper skincare routine, i've been making myself salads and forcing myself to chug at least two bottles of water a day. i have been organising my clothes and books. learning new things about random topics. i am trying to conform to what i am meant to be to be seen as productive, yet i feel just as tired and out of sync as before. i scroll online and see all that everyone else is doing but i forget that everyone who hasn't posted that day probably feels the same too. but i don't understand them, they think i'm weird, so i won't reach out them and they won't think of me. still i rot in my room and the sun burns me through my open window and here i will lie in my room until september comes, until i move into the house with my friends i think hate me, pay rent that costs too much, and grieve over lost time i know i wouldn't have spent any differently. rotting is easier then being seen or known by other people.

[ideas-on-paper]

The issue of Carlo's age is something I ran into when examining the theory about Puppet Camille (who presumably had the Ergo of Geppetto's wife) being Carlo's nanny. It's pretty popular among the fandom, and I can definitely see the appeal from a story perspective. However, I don't know if it's even realistically plausible, given the time frames. (I go over that in a bit more detail in the second half of this reblog.)

Maybe the Nameless Puppet is a bit taller due to the prosthetic legs? It's kind of funny, but if you are an amputee who lost both legs, you can potentially decide to be a little taller, so... xD

The possibility that P looks slightly different from Carlo because a) Geppetto saw Carlo so rarely that he didn't even know what he looked like at the point of his death (his body was probably disfigured due either fighting or Petrification Disease) and only had old pictures/his own memory to work with, or b) because Geppetto purposefully altered his appearance to make him the "perfect son" he always wanted is actually something I considered before. I go over it briefly it near the end of my little "freak theory" about P's skin I shared some time ago (below "Other possible alternatives").

Also, there's this very interesting piece of dialogue after P's hair grows: When remarking on the "unexpected change", Geppetto asks "Did the King of Puppets get you? Or some other ruffians?". It's just so interesting to me how he immediately connects this to the King of Puppets - like, does that mean this is what Carlo's hair looked like back when he was at Monad Charity House, and Geppetto altered it because he hated it? (Maybe Carlo chose to grow his hair out to look more like Romeo, and Geppetto saw it as a sign he was getting too close with this "troublemaker"?) That's pretty much the most plausible reason I can think of why he would blame this on Romeo - going back to where we started, this would also support that Romeo was never supposed to come out in the first place, since this would've prevented the possibility of anything like this happening.

From what I understood, pre-Petrification Disease/Puppet Frenzy the Stalkers were like bodyguards or a better kind of mercenaries. Thus, I guess their employer would be responsible for providing them with quarters, pay, and everything else (as I recall, the Bastards commonly worked for the Alchemists, and the Sweepers for the old aristocratic families). Perhaps the Charity House might assist fledgling Stalkers in finding a first-time job; from there on, they'd pretty much have to fend for themselves.

However, it seems like the Stalkers might have something like a "superintendent" - it's repeatedly said that most Stalkers died during the collapse of the Workshop Tower, so there must've been a reason why they were all there at the same time. Maybe the Workshop Union can call upon them in case of emergencies, and they're obliged to abandon whatever job they're doing to come to their aid?

Regarding Sophia's death at the Arche Abbey, I've been wondering if she even truly died - as I understood it, her Ergo was passed to P, and his hair color changes as a result (at least that's my interpretation of it). So, maybe her soul was kept in an "active" state (her Ergo being inside P and herself living on through him) and prevented from going into a "dormant" state (crystallized Ergo without a body). But that's just speculation on my part. ^^'

I still haven't figured out what exactly the Arm of God does. I once suspected it might return things to their original state and that's why Geppetto wanted it to revive Carlo, but I don't think that really lines up with what Simon was trying to do (he was trying to "evolve" humanity after all). Maybe it's just the ultimate plot device that makes any wish of the one who uses it come true. Idk. xD

I'm still not sure if Sophia previously knew about Romeo or not (I go over some of that in the post I linked above, the same where I talk about Puppet Camille). It seems like she wasn't aware that the King of Puppets was Romeo until P defeats him, and she seems genuinely distraught when she says "The King of Puppets' Ergo is actually..." (I think this is the moment where she realizes he had Romeo's Ergo.)

Then again, she appears before you at the Grand Exhibition - which isn't that much later - and tells you the King of Puppets actually wanted to stop Simon. Like, how did she figure this out that fast? Did she deduce this in some kind of Sherlock-esque way? Or did she rewind time and "virtually" went on an investigation in the past to find out what happened? But if she can do that, why didn't she do it before? Is it because the power of Ergo within her is getting stronger, as she says? (In that sense, did Simon's experiments actually aid her in gaining more power?) What even are the limits of her abilities?

I'm not sure how close Sophia actually was with the pupils of the Charity House. However, if I remember correctly, it was stated that the Monad family lived there, so she probably was around quite often. Makes me wonder what her relationship with Carlo and Romeo was like...

After reading this comment I was trying to think about how or why he’d have this unique heating problem, and came to the conclusion this was probably a feature rather than a bug. Now with this in mind on my fourth time around on the boss I realized something pretty insidious that pretty much confirms it for me.

There is no exit point for the boss, and the chest plate that fell off was held on with 2 large bolts on both sides. What looks like a hinge is actually a spiral decoration for his shoulder pads’ chain to connect too.

Romeo didn’t come out to meet face to face at first because he couldn’t. P was never actually supposed to see who was inside the King, and was only a consequence of the damage it received. That was the risk that had Geppetto worried enough to show up in person.

After he gets out Romeo talks about how he feels like he’s burning, and for the second phase(of his second phase) he lights his scythe off his own body(sick and metal). Romeo was rigged in there to die by overheating if by some off chance he were to ever somehow escape.

In support of this I would like to note all the machines seem to have a certain threshold for that type of damage and that Romeo isn’t actively on fire at first, just damaged. Also when he says “everything is going up in white hot flames” white flames do exist and they’re the step past blue flames, and I think he’s talking about the sensation of his systems overclocking to such a degree that he starts smoking and emitting fire.

[doberbutts]

Feel free to ignore this if it’s too personal, but have you ever felt like “the sick one” or “the unreliable one” because of your health? I’ve had to call out a lot of a new job because of gallbladder issues, and I’ve been struggling to be seen because my insurance changed so I have to go to a new doctor. It might be my anxiety but I feel like my coworkers sympathy is running out. Idk. If I go in and tough it out I usually end up worse and calling out more, but if I call out and rest to go longer the next time my team is upset. If you’ve ever felt this way, how did you cope? I work at an animal shelter so compassion fatigue is also high for everyone there, so I can see their frustration, but it’s not like I want to be sick and in pain. Thanks for your posts, you and your dogs make me smile when I need it.

Maybe when I was young, after the brain injury it's hard to remember little details so if it didn't leave a lasting impression it's gone now lmao, but not anymore.

I communicate very strongly with my friends and my employer that because I am disabled and because my disability is related to my inner systems, I have no control over it and there will occasionally be times when I just plain cannot. But I also make it a point to show up even when I don't feel well the first couple times I have an episode when dealing with someone new, so they can understand just how bad it gets. I showed up to work 3x deep in my cry/vomit/diaherria/faint cycle at my new job that I've now worked for a year, and at this point all I have to do is call in and be like "yeah it's that time again" and my boss goes "jesus christ stay home". So I don't really feel like a flake at all because the folks I surround myself with are very understanding that I'm less than useless at fun or work when I'm like this.

I'm also really on top of asking for frequent breaks and, well. Once they see me shake and wobble and fall a couple times I feel it turns them into the asshole for not listening to me ask for help/accommodations.

THAT BEING SAID part of this now that I'm thinking about it is probably due to my parents and my behavioral therapist when I was a kid teaching me how to advocate for myself as a neurodivergent child with the symptoms of a larger disability. I was diagnosed with ADD very young but I also had epilepsy (I've been seizure-free and unmedicated since I was 8 so "had" with the acknowledgement that you never really stop having epilepsy) so I often had to demand breaks at school to go take my meds or to go lay down in the nurse's office or to get away from flashing lights during a movie or to be allowed to access my fidget toys. I got points off for doodling in the margins of my notes and had to sic my mom on them because the reason I'd been doodling was because the teacher had taken my stress ball and my notes were fine other than the cats and pawprints I'd drawn down the sides so clearly I was paying attention. Any time a teacher gave me attitude about something I asked for I had a little card from my behavioral therapist that I kept in my backpack that I'd pull out and hand to them and I don't think I ever read it (or if I did it was using words a little kid wouldn't understand lmao) but it always made the teacher hand it back to me and do what I asked

When I got older and started fainting I started having to demand breaks in gym, demand seating in classes we were expecting to stand, access to water, the ability to have a snack on hand, etc. So I was taught very very young to demand disability accommodations if they're not being freely offered and to not back down just because people didn't want to follow through. I was raised by a deaf man and a special ed teacher and their combined experience with disabled and developmentally different children in schooling showed them how to teach my sisters and I to demand- not ask- what we needed.

I think this helped me as an adult, not feel like a burden or a flake just because my disability sometimes gets in the way of the rest of my life. I'm disabled! I always have had "something". And there's no shame in needing a break.

[ootahime]

Another one, sorry! I'm ashamed to admit it because apparently I didn't understand it Why is Gojo paying Mei Mei? I assumed it was to promote his students, since the panels are followed. Thank you so much!! Keep writing more GojoHime theories and content please

don’t apologize bby <3 i’ll gladly answer all the questions you have 

i always tag my posts under gojohime because i don’t want the haters to discover this account.......

Why is Gojo paying Mei Mei?

You know, I thought he was paying Mei to promote his students too.  But as time went on, I realized this most likely isn’t the case.  Of course, I could always be wrong.  Let me get into it!

Mei Mei is not affiliated with the Jujutsu High branches because she works on her own accord.  She is an independent sorceress.  In Gojo’s point of view, she’s an ideal person to hire because she only works for the money.  Mei doesn’t care about anyone or anything, as long as cash is flowing in her bank account at the end of the day, she will carry out the job.  This aspect of Mei guarantees secrecy for Gojo because she won’t spill the beans about the traitors.  

Remember when Gojo told Mei that he noticed discrepancies in Yuuji’s footage during the Kyoto event?  Mei makes the excuse that crows will always be animals so she can’t fully control where they choose to look.  Gojo obviously doesn’t fall for her lies so he asks her which side she’s on to which she replies with “The side with money, of course.”  It’s clear at this point that Gakuganji paid Mei to keep the crows away from Yuuji so Gojo wouldn’t notice that the Kyoto kids are trying to assassinate his student.

Mei lies to protect her employer, Gakuganji.  As long as Mei is working under someone, she will always keep the mission information under wraps.  She won’t even tell Gojo about Gakuganji’s scheme.  

This probably seems off-topic but what I’m trying to say here is that assigning Mei with the task to unearth the moles would be a good choice on Gojo’s behalf because she will always keep her private missions a secret, which is beneficial for Gojo and Utahime because they don’t want to let it be known that they are aware that someone is feeding intel to curses and curse users.

Okay, now let’s answer why I don’t think Mei was paid by Gojo to promote his students.  

Before he deposited the money into Mei’s bank account, he was on a call with Utahime.  He was bragging about how the three first-year students each defeated a special grade curse on their own--thanks to his spectacular teaching.  It’s clear that he’s referring to Megumi, Yuuji, and Nobara here.  

Then the two talk about Utahime’s progress with the investigation.  He ends the call thinking that it’s a hassle having to be careful because he doesn’t know who could be listening in on his conversations with Utahime.  This is where Mei could be useful!  He has to be extra cautious with Utahime because she’s a teacher that’s exposed to both the students and the Kyoto school staff.  It’d be hard for her to investigate because she could be close to the suspects.  In contrast, Mei is not associated with anyone so she would not have a problem snooping around.  Hiring Mei would be more convenient and much less of a risk for Gojo.  

After Mei receives the money and laughs, we are shown Mei and Todo recommending Panda, Maki, Yuuji, Megumi, and Nobara for promotion.  

Mei recommends Panda and Maki while Todo recommends the trio.  Although Maki and Panda are close to Gojo, he is not their teacher anymore because he’s in charge of the first-years.  Atsuya Kusakabe is the one who’s in charge of the second-years.  If Gojo paid Mei to recommend his students then she should have said Yuuji, Megumi, and Nobara instead.  I firmly believe that Mei and Todo were impressed by the feats of those they recommended for promotion, therefore their actions are sincere.  Mei did acknowledge Maki’s abilities during the event, after all.  We also know that Todo is a genuine guy, he would not recommend anyone if he didn’t deem them to be worthy, even Yuuji.  

In my mind, it’s out of character for Gojo to consider promoting his students to Grade 1 in such an dishonest way.  Early in the story, Gojo reveals that his dream is to have strong allies that are willing to help him change the jujutsu system for the better.  As he is talking about his dream to Ijichi, there’s a panel of Gojo with his students standing alongside him to represent that him and his students are on equal terms.  They are as strong, if not even stronger than him in his dream.  He wants to foster the next generation of sorcerers to be exceptionally strong, yes, but he doesn’t want to take shortcuts.  

I’m sure everyone is aware that Gojo is a super childish guy.  I find it funny because when he was a little kid, he was so serious.  I think all of the responsibilities that come with being the strongest stripped him of a good childhood so he made up for it over the years by acting like a complete toddler.  The whole incident with Riko, Geto, and even Haibara, once again emphasized to him that being a sorcerer is no easy job.  At this point, he’s seen the death of so many innocent children because they’re unfortunate enough to be involved in a system that not only fails to protect them but exploits their efforts as well.  He absolutely hates the higher ups for making it this way.  He doesn’t want the students to suffer like him and his classmates did when they should be out having fun and doing what normal kids do.  

When you are a Grade 1 sorcerer, you are expected to adhere to the standards of perfection in jujutsu society.  You will have to make sacrifices you don’t want to make.  The death of those around you is inevitable.  Ultimately, being a Grade 1 sorcerer demands one to harden their heart.  In one of the light novels, Gojo follows Nanami to Hokkaido because Nanami was on a mission there and Gojo wanted to make a request.  I’m too lazy to go back and read it so I’ll just have to rely on my memory.  What I say is accurate but likely out of order.  Anyway, after they finished the job Nanami sought out to do, they have a conversation about sorcery.  Gojo basically admits that being a sorcerer never gets easier, even for him, because he, like many others, experiences traumatic events daily as a part of his job.  They then go to a bar and Gojo asks Nanami to take Yuuji under his wing because he believes Nanami has a lot to teach him.  I don’t remember much out of the conversation but I do remember Gojo saying something along the lines of, “I don’t want to see Yuuji’s smile fade--not even once.”  This statement suggests that he wants to preserve the innocence of such a pure boy like Yuuji.  Nanami thinks the same because he tells Yuuji that being a child is not a sin.  

Gojo wants to protect his students’ childhoods.  It is unlike him to pay Mei to promote his students to Grade 1 because he knows that would mean they would have to leave behind their youth to be another casualty in the cruelty that is jujutsu society.  He doesn’t want them to be exploited by the elders.  Like I said before, of course he wants them to be strong, but paying his way to his goal is not characteristic of Gojo Satoru.  

[pyrobane-fandom-space]

Significant Strides in Relations

Author: Merlyn Bane

Word Count: 10.3K (shut up, don't @ me okay)

Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi manages to catch the attention of his attache on a diplomatic mission.

Warnings: Adult Content™. Strong language, smut. Virgin!Obi I guess. Unprotected sex--wrap it up!

A/N: Did I come back from the dead just to post some completely self-indulgent bullshit? Yes I did. This is like 3.7K worth of smut with like 5K worth of justification and like 1K of Skywalker bullshit at the end and I'm not sorry about any of it. I would also just like to blame @no-droids and their Open Door series for giving me a Thing for Obi-Wan in the first place.

(gif found on google, not mine)

You want to fuck the Jedi.

And, yeah, sure, you feel a little bit bad about it. You know enough about the Order to know that that's something the Jedi don't do--if the poor man knew the direction your thoughts had taken, he'd probably be scandalized. You can clearly imagine his face turning, just, scarlet, especially because you do mean fuck. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi is visiting your planet on a diplomatic mission that you haven't been briefed on the particulars of, and you've been assigned to him as an attaché during his stay--tending to his needs, making sure he's comfortable while he's here. It's a function you've performed many, many times as part of your duties to the royal family, but Kenobi has been...particularly pleasant, to work with. The Jedi is kind, treats you like an equal even though you're technically working for him for the time being, and he's funny. You hadn't realized the Jedi were allowed a sense of humor, but Maker, this one is sarcastic, constantly teasing with a playful glint in his blue eyes that is...not helping you with the whole 'wanting to irredeemably corrupt him' problem that you're currently having. 

You show up at his quarters just before breakfast to collect him as you have for the last two days and he's already there waiting for you, opening the door just as you're coming to a stop in front of it.  Kenobi gives you a gracious smile as he steps into the hallway with you, letting the door slide closed behind him, and you return it before turning to start making your way to the dining hall. He falls in step next to you and despite the fact that he really isn't walking that close to you, you swear you can feel him there. "Good morning, young one." 

You snort softly, scrunching your nose up as you give him an unimpressed side-eye. "Young one? You realize I'm within five years of you? I think you spend too much time with your old padawan and not enough with your peers, Kenobi."

The Jedi chuckles next to you, looking suitably sheepish as he grins over at you. "My apologies, my lady," he says, and you can tell that he's teasing you lightly. You roll your eyes but don't correct him--no, instead you internalize it, and his innocent my lady gets cataloged away with the rest of the impure thoughts that have been plaguing you since you saw him in the great hall upon his arrival. "I meant no offense."

"None was taken."

The conversation sort of just...drifts off, and you take the time to study his features out of the corner of your eye while he's looking ahead. The Jedi is...handsome, and frankly you think it's very unfair of the Order to lock all of that up under a chastity vow. The lines of his face are classical, look like they could have been carved from marble--only accentuated by the scruff of the beard lining a jaw you kind of want to sink your teeth into. 

And, Maker. His eyes. The clearest crystal blue, like twin glaciers, piercing directly into your soul every time you meet them but...gentle. Always gentle. You know he's as talented a warrior as he is a negotiator, you've heard the stories, but you would never know it from his pretty eyes. 

"What are your plans for the day, Master Kenobi? Since there won't be any official matters taking place today." It's the third day of the week, and on your planet it is considered inappropriate to do such work then. Most of your people will be in services today, to include the royal family. You probably should be, but you had offered to stay behind and continue to assist the Jedi--you've never cared for such things, anyway, and you certainly think he makes for better company.

Kenobi turns his head just enough to give you a small smile before he looks forward again, humming softly as he considers his answer. "I will likely confer with the Council this afternoon, update them on how the negotiations are going. Perhaps I will take some time to meditate, as well. You may have most of the day to yourself." It's quiet for a moment, then: "And you may just call me Obi-Wan, if you wish."

Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan--

It does not escape your attention that this isn't an offer that was even extended to your employers, who he's supposed to be here on the sole purpose of brokering an agreement with. They've still been using titles with each other, you know they have. Fuck. "Obi-Wan," you repeat, hoping that it escapes his notice how much you find that you like the way it feels on your tongue. Obi-Wan. "If you find you have the time, later, maybe I could show you around a little more. There are some places on the palace grounds I think you might enjoy."

The Jedi hums again, and you can see that he's still smiling when you look over at him. "I will certainly keep that in mind."

You reach the dining hall only a few minutes later, and go your separate ways once you've gotten your food. You find a seat at one of the far tables tucked into a corner that's already populated by a couple of your fellow staff members, making sure to sit so that you're facing him so he can get your attention if he needs it. You're being elbowed almost the second your ass hits the seat, the girl to your left clearly desperate for whatever gossip she thinks you have as she leans in and whispers at you in hushed tones. 

"Maker, you've got a dreamy one. You're so lucky, I was assigned to--"

You're not even listening, not really--tuning her out while you tuck into your breakfast. You suppose you don't have any real right to be so annoyed with her, truthfully, given that you've been having similar thoughts about him yourself all morning and for most of the last couple of days, but you find that you are anyway. The girl doesn't even seem to realize that you're ignoring her, continuing to chatter at you until one of the other people at your table manages to redirect her attention, if not the subject. 

 You tell yourself that the reason your attention stays focused on the Jedi is in case he needs you for anything but you're not very convincing, even to yourself. Your mind wanders while you eat, formulating scenarios that all seem to end with Obi-Wan between your thighs. Most of these thoughts are generally nonsensical, idle flashes and half-strung together images, but some of them come through with alarming clarity. 

I want to suck his cock.

The Jedi suddenly chokes on whatever it is he's just eaten. 

You instinctively shift to stand up to try and help him but his companion is already there, smacking his back with more force than you think is probably necessary and laughing loudly enough that you can hear him from your table. Skywalker, you think his name is. He's still chuckling when they settle back down, despite the thoroughly unamused looks Obi-Wan is shooting him. You snort quietly to yourself and Skywalker turns his head to look at you like he can sense your eyes on them. Your eyes meet for a second, two, and then to your horror he winks at you.

Your stomach sinks. No. No, no. No. He's just winking at you because he caught you looking over at them, right? Jedi can't. Jedi can't read minds, right? Surely not. The younger Jedi raises an eyebrow at you, the edge of his lip curving into what can only be called a smirk, and you really. Just need the ground to open up and swallow you whole right here. Maker. You're going to have to work with Obi-Wan for the next couple of days--how the fuck are you supposed to look him in the eyes, now, knowing that he's heard you this entire time? 

 Breakfast passes both entirely too quickly and not near quickly enough, and before you know it, both Jedi are getting to their feet. You curse quietly under your breath and stand yourself, disposing of your tray before you manage to make yourself walk back over to join them. You still have a job to do, regardless of whether or not you want to dig yourself a nice deep hole to die in right now. You do your best to force a smile once you reach them, really trying your absolute hardest to pretend that none of...that, had just happened. Like you haven't been caught lusting over Obi-Wan fucking Kenobi by the man himself. 

Skywalker is the first to speak, that Maker-forsaken grin still plastered firmly in place on his face when he does. "Hello,"

You think he's having entirely too much fucking fun with this, frankly. 

Obi-Wan seems to agree with you, if the look he gives his companion then is anything to go by. You swallow, doing your best to reign in your composure as you raise a hand to wave at him in response before turning back to the man you're supposed to be assisting. "Are you--" you pause, clearing your throat before continuing. "Are you ready to return to your rooms?"

Maker. Maker. Why did you have to say--

"Quite," Obi-Wan answers before you can stutter out an apology, giving Skywalker what can only be described as a warning look before he turns back to follow you. Your gaze stays all but permanently affixed to the floor as you start making your way down the hall, the only thing indicating that he's still beside you the sound of his boots on the tile. 

You can feel his eyes on you when you reach his door but you still can't bring yourself to meet them, clearing your throat awkwardly and folding your hands behind your back in a bid to stop yourself from picking at your thumbnail from the nervous energy that's suddenly coursing through your body. "I. I hope you have a pleasant rest of your day," you manage to stutter out, taking your leave before he can say anything to stop you.

You end up having a couple of hours to yourself to stew in the privacy of your own room before anyone comes for you. 

You groan quietly when you hear the knock at your door but haul yourself to your feet and make your way over anyway, pushing your hair out of your face. You frown minutely when you find one of your coworkers standing there. Kaljova--she's assigned to Skywalker, if you recall correctly. She seems vaguely concerned with the state you're in but is kind enough not to comment on it, giving you a polite smile instead. "Master Kenobi has asked for you," Kaljova tells you, and has the grace to pretend to not notice the way your face falls with it. 

"Do you know what he needs?" you ask her, blessedly managing to keep your voice even. You reach down to grab your cloak from the table by your door and tie it around your shoulders without waiting for her to actually answer, stepping out into the hallway and letting your door close behind you. 

She shakes her head, shrugging a little bit. "Master Skywalker didn't say, I'm sorry."

You shake your head, sighing softly but giving her a small, reassuring smile. "It's okay. Thank you for letting me know."

She returns your smile and nods once before she turns around and leaves you to your own devices again. You groan quietly, pinching the bridge of your nose as you work up the nerve to actually make your way to the visiting diplomat wing where you know he's waiting for you. It takes you a couple of minutes but you do manage to make your feet move eventually and they carry you there far faster than you'd have liked them to. 

You swallow harshly and close your eyes for a second before reaching up to knock on his door, bracing yourself. Maker, he probably wants to talk about it, clear the air or whatever, and you are just...absolutely not even a little bit equipped to deal with that right now, frankly. You're able to school your features as the door slides open but just barely, and you stop breathing altogether when you look up and meet those pretty blue eyes. 

And he seems...surprised to see you. 

That kriffing--

"You...didn't send for me, did you?"

Obi-Wan shakes his head, looking more confused if possible, and you just sigh quietly, giving him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, I think there was a...miscommunication." And I'm going to kill your fucking padawan. "I'll just--I'll just go." You raise a hand in a very awkward not-wave and turn on your heel to go, but then.

The Jedi gently grabs you by the elbow, and everything stops for a moment. 

Goddammit.

"Wait," Obi-Wan says, softly--like he's trying not to spook you. You take a deep, stuttering breath, and sigh it out, relaxing where you stand as you give up on getting out of this. "I believe...it would be a good idea, if we talked."

Yeah, that's. That's pretty much what you figured, unfortunately. 

"I'm very sorry, if I made you uncomfortable, I...I didn't know you could--" Didn't know you could hear me. 

"I know," he tells you, just as gently as before, and you reluctantly turn just enough to be able to face him. His eyes are soft when they regard you, and you find your breathing evening out despite yourself--wondering idly how much of it is actively his doing. "Just...come inside. Please."

You can't find it in yourself to deny him so you nod, letting him lead you into the room and trying to pretend that you can't feel your heart stop when the door slides shut behind you. Obi-Wan seems to notice you not knowing what to do with yourself because he gestures to one of the chairs in the sitting area, sitting down in the one opposite it once you're settled. It's quiet for a moment as both of you seem to search for the right words. 

"I would like to begin by apologizing for Anakin," he says finally, and you snort as the words register.  He gives you a wry smile in return, and continues. "He means well, but he can be...thoughtless, in his humor, at times. Particularly when it is at my expense."

"He sounds like he must have been a joy to train."

That earns you an almost startled sounding laugh out of the Jedi, which manages to get a real smile out of you. "I fear he may have also misled you, to an extent." He tells you, not quite meeting your eyes now as he scratches at his beard. You give him a questioning look and he sighs softly, leaning back in his chair. "We...can hear thoughts, but only if we go looking and it is considered very inappropriate to do so without reason."

You feel your eyebrows knit together in confusion, then, and you tilt your head at him. "But you…?"

Obi-Wan winces, and nods. "You may have...projected, this morning, inadvertently. It was...rather loud, and my guards were not as firmly in place as they probably should have been."

Oh. So you'd shouted it at him, then. Great. "Oh."

"I had...gotten a sense of the direction of your thoughts, before that, but you were acting very professionally so thought it best to pay it no mind."

That's...very kind of him, actually, to have simply ignored it even though it must have made him uncomfortable, especially when he so easily could have just told you to knock it off or requested a different attache. You clear your throat, finding yourself picking at your thumbnail again. "I appreciate that."

"You needn't be embarrassed, you know." the Jedi murmurs softly, and you look up to meet his gaze despite yourself. He smiles at you a little bit, then, and it brings something very warm into those blue eyes of his that almost makes you just a little lightheaded. "These things happen. You're only human, you can't be expected to have complete control of your thoughts all the time."

"You do," you point out, just because you feel the need to. "Jedi do. So I'm told."

"We spend our whole lives learning to try." he amends, and there's something so human in the way that he grins that suddenly, all you want to do is lean over and kiss him. "It is a constant exercise, not a skill that can be mastered."

"Still. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable this week."

"Uncomfortable might not be the right word for it, speaking truthfully," Obi-Wan admits, so quietly that you're almost not even sure he's really said it at all. And--Maker, is he implying what it sounds like he's implying? You know your eyes must be just about bugging out of your head with the shock but he mercifully either doesn't notice or pretends not to, scratching at his beard again as he seems to consider his next words, and you...really need him to stop doing that. It's becoming hard enough to maintain your focus as it is. "There were times where I was perhaps...tempted."

You stare at him, blankly, blinking slowly as the words process. Tempted tempted tempted-- "I thought Jedi couldn't…"

Obi-Wan clears his throat, and suddenly he's the one looking unsettled. "Technically, the Code prohibits intimacy, attachment. It...says nothing about the act itself."

Oh. Oh.  

You're still staring at him, just completely dumbstruck, so the Jedi seems to decide to take it upon himself to continue talking and fill the space. "For most of us it ends with the same result, functionally, but. Technically." 

Maker, get it together. You feel like you're on a several second delay, having great difficulty processing this new information, let alone giving him the verbal response to it that he's clearly waiting for, now. "Have you--"

"Almost. Once. When I was a padawan myself. My master and I were stationed on Mandalore at the time, assigned to protect the Duchess." 

You're grinning, now, you can feel it tugging at the edges of your mouth. Maker, you suddenly need to know this story like you need to breathe. "What happened?"

Stars, you swear you can see the tips of his ears turn red. "Qui-Gon caught us. It has...certainly dissuaded me from making any attempts since."

You laugh. You can't help it. Suddenly you're laughing so hard it nearly hurts, grasping your middle with one hand while wiping tears from your eyes with the other. You would feel worse about it if Obi-Wan didn't look so amused himself. "Oh, you poor thing." you snort before your brain can catch up with your mouth, and you feel your own face heat when you realize the implication of what you've just said to him. Way to go, Ace. 

Except...he's still grinning at you, amusement dancing in those blue eyes, and all the air seems to rush out of the room when they lock on your own. Kriff. "Are you suggesting that I'm missing out, then?"

He's teasing you, the bastard, and all of sudden it makes you feel bold. You lean forward in your chair, then, resting your elbows on your knees as you encroach on his space and pull your lower lip between your teeth.. "I'm not suggesting anything, Master Kenobi," you all but purr at him, "but should you be interested in finding out for yourself…"

The offer hangs in the air between you, then, like a lit fuse while you just stare at each other, both waiting to see if the other will make the next move.  

"And what might this...demonstration...entail?"

"Nothing you aren't completely on board with," you tell him immediately, because if this happens--Maker, if--it is absolutely imperative to you that he enjoys himself just as much as you do. Which...gives you an idea, actually. "I make sure my partners have a good time. Haven't done my job if they don't."

Fuck, the Jedi's eyes are blown. His pupils have nearly overtaken those pretty blue irises and it makes your breath catch with how much you want to ruin him. You can feel the tension rising in the room between you, feeding on and feeding into your arousal in a vicious cycle. He swallows, and you watch his Adam's apple bob with it and narrowly resist the urge to bite him. "Oh?"

Kriff, you need to leave before you fuck him right here and ruin your plans. You give him a small, soft smile and stand, padding over to him. His eyes track each movement, his head tilting back to gaze up at you when you come to stand between his knees, and you can see how ragged his breathing's gone at the sudden proximity. You reach out and let your palm wrap around the line of his jaw, your fingernails scratching lightly through the coarse hairs of his beard, and the Jedi's eyes fall closed before you even lean in. He gasps when your mouth brushes against his own, the faintest whisper of a kiss, and your smile widens. "I think, that you deserve to be seduced properly, Obi-Wan," you breathe. "I'm not going to fuck you, Baby, not just yet. When you really want it--then I'll give it to you."

 It takes several seconds before he's able to get words out again, and when he does you can barely hear what he's saying from the rasp in them. "I think, my lady," he pants, "that you are being exceedingly cruel."

You chuckle softly, letting your thumb brush across his lower lip before you straighten up and take a step back, ignoring the almost whine that escapes his throat when you do. "Perhaps."

For the rest of the evening, you act as normal--as if none of the events of the day had taken place. You meet with Obi-Wan and escort him to the dining hall for dinner as usual and go your separate ways once your trays are piled high. You do your best to resist the urge to glare daggers at the other Jedi, particularly when he grins and waves at you, but you are able to content yourself with the sharp look Obi-Wan gives him for it as he sits down. Dinner is uneventful despite Skywalker's best efforts, and passes quickly. You give Obi-Wan this time to...come down, essentially, to gather his wits back about him before you really set your plans into motion in the morning. You had left the Jedi absolutely wrecked this afternoon, and not only do you think it would be just a little unfair to begin your seduction in such a state, you're a little concerned that you might actually kill him if you overwhelm him so much all at once. So, you give him time to breathe. 

Or at least, that is your intent. 

The sudden drop almost seems to have the opposite effect. Obi-Wan's composure is, outwardly, as impeccable as always. No-one but you and Skywalker--you're sure--would be able to tell that anything's up. The only reason you do is because you still can't take your eyes off him so you notice the way his haven't left you, either. And, Maker, the way he looks at you. You almost want to give in, drag him back to his rooms now, but. You meant it earlier, when you said you thought he deserved better than that. The concept of virginity as a special thing is not one you've ever particularly put much stock in, yourself, but you know that this is, will be, a big deal for him whether he's willing to admit it or not. You want to give him at least this much. He might not be allowed true intimacy or emotional attachment, but that doesn't mean the sex has to be careless. You meant it, when you told him that you take care of your partners.  

The next day, you start slow. Obi-Wan is actually fairly busy with the diplomatic mission he'd been sent here on in the first place, which makes that relatively simple. The only time you really get with him that morning is when you're escorting him to and from meetings, so you spend that time finding excuses to touch him. Subtle things, like adjusting already-straight the collar of his robes. 

"Good morning, Obi-Wan," 

The Jedi steps out into the hall with you and lets the door close behind him, returning your greeting with an easy grin that makes your heart skip a beat. "Good morning. Where are we off too?"

"You have a meeting with the Chancellor, first. It'll be long and likely boring assuming Skywalker behaves himself, but productive." You give him a soft smile, stepping forward and looking up at him from under your lashes. He watches you intently, almost seeming to stop breathing for a second when you reach up and adjust the tan collar of his robes, your fingertips brushing lightly against the skin of his throat when you do. You let the moment linger a second longer than it needs to before you step back to a respectful distance and nod down the hallway. "Shall we?"

Brushing his hair out of his face when it's fallen into his eyes.

Obi-Wan looks about as tired as you expect him to when he comes out of his meeting a couple of hours later but he has a small smile for you when he sees you waiting for him in the hallway anyway. Skywalker follows him through the door seconds later but barely pays either of you any mind, grumbling something about breakfast as he follows Kaljova down the hall. The two of you stand there for another moment, glancing at each other and chuckling at the younger Jedi's irritation, and you notice idly that some of his blond hair's managed to fall out of place. You reach up to brush it back out of his eyes and bite your lip when they zero in on your own, and you find yourself leaning in further before you can stop yourself only for you to jump apart when the door slides open again. The Chancellor gives you both a polite nod as he takes his leave, completely unaware of what he'd interrupted, and you have to shake your head to clear it once he's out of sight. You can still feel the Jedi's eyes on you when you turn to make your way to the dining hall.

It continues this way, more or less, until lunch, when you decide to kick it up a notch going into the afternoon. You remember what he told you about being able to pick up on your feelings, at least in a general sense, whether he went looking for them or not so you decide to lean into that and let your mind run wild with the things you want to do to him. You're careful not to project any particulars at him this time but you can tell that he definitely takes notice when you start letting your thoughts wander. 

You're still sitting in the dining hall at your separate tables, and you smirk lightly when his eyes snap up, watching them narrow when he realizes what you're doing. You maintain that eye contact shamelessly, pulling your lower lip between your teeth as you try to imagine what's waiting for you underneath those robes. Skywalker's glancing back and forth between you and grinning but Obi-Wan ignores him completely, raising an eyebrow in your direction that you merely shrug at. You see him shift slightly in his seat after a little while of this and decide to lay off a bit--for now, at least. 

Obi-Wan has to consult with the Jedi Council after lunch so you decide to have some mercy on him immediately leading up to that and take a break from your little game. You're sure he's still aware of the arousal boiling low in your belly while you walk him back to his rooms after lunch but you're not actively focusing on it now, letting yourself relax and the Jedi by extension. 

It's during dinner that evening that you really kick it into high gear. 

You're not even fully sure this is going to work, since you've only ever done it once and by accident, but watching Obi-Wan converse with Skywalker at their table, you know you want to try. So you focus your attention on the Jedi, and hone in on the thought of what you think it might be like to kiss him until you see him stiffen and you know he's got it. You keep going, feeding him different images that only grow more explicit as you grow bolder. Sucking and biting bruises into the skin of his throat and chest while you grind down against his cock. Looking right into his pretty blue eyes while you stroke that cock, watching him come apart when you finally take it into your mouth like you've wanted to do practically since you laid eyes on him. Riding him, burying your hands in his hair and swallowing his moans while you bounce in his lap. 

Obi-Wan grits his teeth across the dining hall, gripping the edge of the table he's sitting at tightly and pointedly not looking at you while he tries to regain control of his breathing. Skywalker is staring at you, wide-eyed and slack-jawed in total shock, and you only smirk back at him in response as you let the projection drop. You didn't necessarily want the other Jedi to see those things, truthfully, but you don't know how to control the projection well enough to block him out and he's been enough of a dick about the whole thing this week that you really don't feel all that badly about the fact that he looks like he kind of wants to bleach his brain, now. 

You simply go back to your meal once you've dropped the projection, though you can't help the small grin that stays plastered on your face. The next few minutes pass that way, but then.

But then.

Well, projection goes both ways.

It feels sort of like a tickle, at first, at the edge of your mind--easily ignored. Then it turns into a gentle prodding, and when you look up to confirm your suspicions, his blue eyes are locked firmly on yours and it takes your breath away. He's...being remarkably gentle with you, knowing that no-one's ever been in your head before like this, waiting for you to relax and let him in in a complete roll reversal that shocks you. You barely manage to contain the gasp when you do, because he's suddenly pushing images back at you. Obi-Wan thinks back to how your fingers had felt in his hair this morning, and then reimagines that feeling with you in his lap, tangled in his hair while you kiss him. Then, fuck. With his head between your thighs. He stops and focuses in on this one, imagining as many details as he can manage as he pushes it to you. Your hands pulling on the blond strands while his grip your thighs, holding you open as his tongue laves through the folds of your cunt. 

The moment feels like a tipping point, and both of you know exactly what is going to happen once this meal is over. 

You're so pent up and aroused when it's finally time to leave that you're lightheaded with it but somehow you manage to get to your feet anyway, and thankfully you don't end up having to deal with Skywalker at all because Obi-Wan is out of his seat first this time and meets you halfway. There's something in the air between you, something tense and charged, and you know you need to get him back to his rooms now. He seems to be on the same page because he wastes no time in following you out of the dining hall, and his strides are longer enough than usual that you actually struggle just a little bit to keep up. 

And there's something so…juvenile about this, rushing off and sneaking around, but it's...fun. You feel almost like a teenager again, truthfully, so eager to get him alone somewhere private so you can get your hands on him that you're all but running down the hallway to get there. 

You're on the Jedi the moment the door closes behind you but he's right there with you, pulling you in for a kiss that's all enthusiasm and little finesse but heats your blood anyway. Your fingers tangle in his hair as you tug him closer and he moans with it, his own hands finding your face and framing it gently. You run the tip of your tongue along his lower lip and press forward when his mouth opens into it on a gasp, licking into his mouth until he has to pull away to breathe. 

Maker, he already looks a mess; beautifully flushed with his hair all askew and his pupils blown wide. It makes you want to do, just, unspeakable things, but you know you still have to take your time and ease him into it or this will all be over too fast and you can't have that.  

"Go...go sit on the bed," you murmur, putting a hand on his chest as you step back and take a second to try and get your wits back about you. "Take your boots off. And your cloak."

And, Kriff, he does it immediately, nodding at you with that just fucking wrecked look in his eyes before he turns to do exactly what you told him, laying his cloak over the back of one of the chairs and padding over to the bed where he sits on the edge before leaning over to take his boots off. You watch him the whole time, almost high on the heady feeling that comes with this hyper-competent Jedi Master doing whatever you tell him to. 

You take your time in joining him, partially to tease and partially just because you need those extra few moments. His eyes track every movement as you remove your own cloak, laying it next to his as you toe your shoes off, and you give him a small smile as you make your way over to the bed. Obi-Wan's breath hitches when you climb up onto it and seems to stop altogether when you carefully settle yourself on his lap, his hands fisting at his sides until you reach down to take them gently and guide them to your waist. "You can touch me," you purr, running your nose along the line of his jaw and grinning to yourself when his grip suddenly tightens with it. "It's encouraged, in fact."

He snorts quietly, so breathily that you almost miss it, and starts rubbing circles into your sides with his thumbs. "Noted," he rasps, and you grin wider before you press a kiss just under his jaw. The Jedi shivers with it and the reaction emboldens you so you continue downward, pressing kisses along his skin until you reach the collar of his robe and then you're working at the belt of his robes, eager to get at more of his skin. Obi-Wan seems to still have enough presence of mind to help you, shrugging out of the first two layers once you're able to get them open and discarding them to the side carelessly. You reluctantly have to pull back so you can yank his undershirt over his head but then his whole torso is exposed for your viewing pleasure, so you decide you're alright with the short interruption. 

"See something you like?" Obi-Wan quips breathlessly after a few seconds of you shamelessly studying every line and pane of his chest and you only smirk at him an answer, leaning back in his lap to get a better view and darting your tongue out to wet your lower lip. 

"What are the odds of anyone seeing you without the robes?"

His eyebrows knit together momentarily like he doesn't know what you're asking, but he seems to put the pieces together when you suddenly duck back down and lick a broad stripe along the line of his collarbone. His hips jerk up with a broken moan before he's able to manage an answer, his head tilting back and further exposing his throat. "Un-unlikely," he gasps out, and you're grinning again as you start pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses lower until you find a spot on his pec that pleases you and you stop and suck. The Jedi gasps raggedly, his fingers digging into your waist as he tries to ground himself, but you don't stop until you know a bruise will bloom there. "Something to remember you by?" he hisses, and you chuckle softly as you trace the round little blemish with the tip of your finger. 

"Oh, Baby, I don't think you're going to have any difficulty with that with or without a few little...reminders." 

Obi-Wan moans again, low in his throat, when you start pressing a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down his chest, gasping out and trembling the first time you let him feel teeth. His hips buck again and then it's your turn to gasp when his cock rubs right up against your cunt--already so, so hard. And, Maker, it is not a small bulge. What's he hiding under all of those neutral fabrics? You leave a meandering line of bites and hickeys all the way down his chest, ignoring the way he whines when you shift back off of his lap so you can continue down to his stomach. He leans back on his palms, then, watching you intently with dark eyes that make your pussy clench between your thighs, and his breath catches in his throat when your hands find the ties of his trousers. "What are you--"

"Told you I wanted to suck your cock," you remind him, biting your lip as you start undoing them--slowly enough to give him ample opportunity to stop you if he wants. "That alright with you?"

The Jedi nods mutely, suddenly seeming at a loss for words, and you smirk as you sit back on your knees and start pulling them down his thighs until he springs free, and--

Kriff--how fucking dare the Order deprive the galaxy of this magnificent cock? 

He's not the longest you've ever seen, per se, but he's thick enough that you almost wonder how you're going to take this thing and beautifully flushed, with defined veins that you just know are going to feel incredible inside you. You lean in to lick a stripe right up the underside of it before you can stop yourself and Obi-Wan cries out at the sudden stimulation and shakes, falling backwards onto his back. You moan softly at the response you pull out of him and lean up until you're able to take the head into your mouth, watching as he squeezes his eyes shut and grips the bedspread until his knuckles go white and unravels. "Watch me," you tell him, taking him in your palm and pumping slowly while you wait for him to respond, "Wanna see those pretty blue eyes."

He forces them open just like you told him to, keeping them trained on you as he bites down on his lower lip and takes a shaky breath and you take him into your mouth again, satisfied. He cries out again but a little quieter this time, and you hum around his cock as you start bobbing up and down on it slowly, almost teasingly so, holding his hips down as best you can so you control the pace. You definitely want to feel him come down the back of your throat at some point, but this isn't the time for that. You have every intent of him coming buried deep inside you tonight. 

It becomes something of a game, figuring out exactly what he likes. Hollowing your cheeks to make your mouth tighter around him and moaning until he gasps. Teasing the slit at the top with the very tip of your tongue until you swear you hear him curse. And then you take him to the root.

And, Maker, he swears when he bottoms out and it shouldn't be so insanely hot hearing those words come from this ordinarily so well put-together Jedi but it is. You realize how close he's approaching his end so you reluctantly pull off of his cock, then, ignoring the whine that escapes from high in his throat when you do so. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand while you try and catch your breath, which is not made any easier by the way he's looking at you. You know you must look just as wrecked as he does, now, all flushed skin and swollen lips, but if you didn't know better you would genuinely think the man was about to eat you alive. "I think, my lady," he rasps finally, after several seconds of staring at each other, "that you may be slightly overdressed."

Kriff. You glance down at the tunic and trousers that you are, in fact, still wearing, before looking up to meet his eyes again. You maintain that eye contact as you sit back up on your knees, pulling your lower lip between your teeth as you slowly start undoing the laces holding the top closed. Obi-Wan watches each movement like it's the most mesmerizing thing he's ever seen, pupils blown so wide they've almost completely obscured the blue. He groans quietly when the tunic slips from your shoulders, his tongue darting out to wet his lower lip when your breasts come into full view. "Is that better?"

He shakes his head mutely, swallowing harshly as he seems to try to gather the words. "I want--may I--kriff, lay back. Please." His gaze follows you closely as you slowly lower yourself down onto your elbows, intensely curious what he's about to do. The Jedi takes a deep breath like he's steeling himself and then he's shifting forward until his body stretches over top of yours, kicking his trousers the rest of the way off in the process, and it's your turn to gasp when you feel his lips brush against the underside of your jaw. He's holding himself up enough that you can't necessarily feel him press against you, but Maker, you can certainly feel the heat coming off of him and his warm breath against your throat. "I believe it's my turn," he murmurs by way of explanation, chuckling softly when your next breath comes out ragged.

"You don't--you don't have to do that," you moan, and Stars--you mean it, you do, especially this first time, but you will be just absolutely fucking inconsolable if he changes his mind right now especially after he went and put the fucking image in your head during dinner earlier. 

He doesn't grace that with a verbal response but you're hardly complaining because he starts trailing kisses down the side of your neck instead, and Maker he must have been paying attention when you were doing this to him because you swear he's replicating the technique. "Tell me what you want," he murmurs lowly into the skin of your throat before nipping at it experimentally, listening to you gasp as he keeps talking. "Tell me how to please you, Darling."

His fingers find your nipple before you're able to even begin trying to formulate words and you cry out at the sudden stimulation, arching up into it. "F-Fuck, you're doing a pretty kriffing decent job already," you pant and he chuckles again, running his tongue along your collarbone like you'd done to him and moaning when he gets another ragged gasp for it. "Maker.  U-Use your m-mouth,"

You think for a second that he's going to make some smartass comment about how he already is, but mercifully Obi-Wan seems to know what you're asking him for and decides to be kind about it. He continues exploring your breasts with his hand while he returns his mouth to your throat, licking and sucking his way down the column of it until he reaches your sternum where he stops to suck a bruise into the skin. He gets you so worked up by the time he reaches your breasts that you almost don't realize how close he's gotten until those blue eyes are flickering up to meet yours and he's taking your nipple into the blazing hot cavern of his mouth. You open your mouth on a wordless shout and start to writhe under him but he's right there, both hands coming down to your hips to hold you in place as he laves his tongue around the stiffening peak. Obi-Wan focuses his attention on your breast until you're whimpering and then switches to the other, moaning around your nipple when your fingers tangle in his hair. 

"You like that, don't you?" you purr down at him, watching the Jedi through half-lidded eyes as he moans again in an affirmative. You pull, then, gently--experimentally, seeing if it's something he'll even like, and then he. Fucking bites you. "Fuck, Obi-Wan!" 

"About as much as you liked that," the asshole grins at you impishly as he pulls away from your breast, leaning in to kiss you before you can call him on it. His hands find the top of your trousers once you relax into it, and he leans back to look at you as his fingers dip into the waistband. "May I?"

He starts pulling them down as soon as you nod your consent, sitting back and watching as every inch of skin is revealed until he's removed them completely and he tosses them to the side with the rest of your clothes, leaving you totally bare in front of him. Obi-Wan just...sits there for a moment, taking you in, and you let him, relaxing back against the mattress and smiling up at him. 

"Beautiful," he breathes finally, returning your smile with a small one of his own before he's shifting down, keeping his eyes on yours as his lips brush against your hip. He reaches forward and runs one finger through the lips of your cunt lightly, almost teasingly, watching you gasp and try to grind down into it. "Would you like it if I tasted you here, Darling?" Obi-Wan hums, continuing to press kisses along your hip and the insides of your thighs while he waits for an answer and, Maker, the coarseness of his beard against the sensitive skin there robs you of all conscious thought. All you're able to manage is a nod because you're so strung out and you need him there right now but that seems to be enough for him because he starts leaning in, one hand on each of your thighs as he licks a broad stripe right through your cunt. 

Stars, you can't even form the words right now to talk him through this like he'd asked, but he...doesn't actually really seem to need your help, here. The Jedi focuses in on your clit right away, swirling his tongue around the little bud before he sucks it into the wet heat of his mouth and you nearly sob at how good it feels. "D-Doing so good, Baby," you manage to get out, and the words almost come out as more of a mewl as he hums around your clit, sending jolts right through you. 

You whine in protest when his mouth leaves your clit but his thumb replaces it soon after, rubbing slow circles around it like he's trying to drive you insane on purpose. And then, Maker, his tongue dips into your entrance, licking up inside you while all you can do is sob your pleasure into the air. He keeps going this way for several minutes, steadily working you higher and higher with his tongue buried in your cunt and his thumb strumming your clit until your thighs start to tremble and you feel that coil inside you start to wind tighter. Obi-Wan moans between your legs as when he realizes you're approaching your end and steps up his ministrations, his thumb picking up speed until your back arches underneath him. The orgasm burns its way through you, slow but intense, until you're nearly cross-eyed and delirious with it and he keeps working you through it until you're shaking with overstimulation and pushing his head away. 

The Jedi goes willingly when you push him back into a seated position once you've managed to regain your bearings, and Maker, he's a sight like this; his hair just hopelessly disheveled from your fingers in it and your slick coating his chin and kiss-swollen lips. You take a moment to just look at him, committing this image to memory for all of those nights after he leaves when you know you'll look back and picture this with your hand between your thighs. His hands find your hips as you crawl into his lap and settle there, squeezing gently and letting out a soft moan when you lean in to kiss him. Obi-Wan is the one that licks into your mouth this time, mimicking the way your tongue had tangled with his at the start of this until you're moaning into it. 

He gasps into the kiss when you reach down between you to take his cock in your hand, stroking it slowly while you shift in his lap and Stars, you swear the Jedi underneath you stops breathing entirely when you line him up and the head of his cock presses right up against your entrance. "Maker, please," he begs then on a broken moan, pulling out of the kiss to catch his breath but leaving his forehead pressed up against yours. He opens his eyes to hold your gaze intently as you start to sink down onto him, crying out at the fucking stretch of it. You take your time taking his cock, both for his benefit and your own, and the slow intrusion into your cunt has you shaking before he even bottoms out. 

"Fuck, you feel so f-fucking good," 

And it does. You have to take a minute to adjust once you've taken him to the root before you can move, gripping his shoulders tightly in an attempt to ground yourself, and his hands tighten on your hips in response. The Jedi looks like he might implode if you don't move so you take pity on him, sweeping him into another heated kiss as you roll your hips forward and swallowing his ragged gasp that escapes his throat. You keep the pace slow at first, steady, working yourself open and easing him into the motion and the way your pussy feels wrapped around his cock, and you manage to keep that pace for a few minutes until it becomes too much for both of you.

Obi-Wan's hips buck up at the same time your hips rock forward and you choke on a loud cry, throwing your head back when the head of his cock suddenly hits you right in the sweet spot. He seems to realize that you liked it because he does it again and again, his hands suddenly becoming vices around your hips as he starts thrusting up into you. You keep bouncing in his lap as best you can with his hold on you, meeting him thrust for thrust and Maker, nothing you'd imagined has anything on this. You bury your face in the side of his neck in a pitiful attempt to muffle the sounds that are leaving your throat, sucking and biting at the skin you find there and enjoying the moans you get out of him in return.  

You suddenly find yourself on your back with the Jedi above you, swallowing down the gasp that tears out of you as he claims your mouth in a searing kiss. Obi-Wan starts thrusting again immediately as he lets instinct take over, leaning forward on his elbow next to your head to give him better leverage. You nibble on his lower lip as you bring your legs up around his waist, gasping into his mouth when he fucking growls at the feel of your teeth and knotting your fingers in the strands of his hair again. His free hand comes up to cup the side of your face, holding you in place while he kisses the breath from your lungs. 

You're not going to last much longer, if the way your cunt is already starting to tighten around him is anything to go by. He shifts his hips just slightly, down and to the side, and you almost scream when he manages to find an angle that has the head of his cock hitting your sweet spot straight on at the same time as the warm skin of his torso brushes against your clit on each thrust in. Fuck, fuck, fuck, how did he get the hang of this so fast? He's going to kriffing kill you, if he keeps this up. "Stars, Obi," you sob out, "I'm gonna--"

The Jedi presses one last firm kiss to your mouth before he's pulling back to watch you fall apart, his hand leaving your face and moving down your body until he's stroking your aching clit with his thumb again, rubbing it in fast, small circles like he's learned you like it as he continues fucking into you like it's the last thing he'll ever do. "Right behind you, Darling," he grits out, his voice coming strained and wrecked and you know he means it. It only takes one, two, three more thrusts before you just fucking shatter, crying out into the air and trembling as the orgasm obliterates you. He follows not half a dozen thrusts later, burying his face in your neck and gasping as he fills you with everything he has, his hips still pumping lazily as he comes down. 

Eventually, the Jedi collapses down on the bed next to you, reaching over to brush some of the hair out of your face and giving you a dopey grin that's such a wild juxtaposition from his usual composure and his reputation that it makes you giggle, unable to help yourself. He raises an eyebrow at you playfully but it only makes you laugh harder, shaking your head. "Maker," you breathe, finally, because you can't seem to string together anything else. Obi-Wan chuckles next to you and reaches over to pull you back into his chest, burying his face in your hair while he tries to catch his own breath. "You are...a very quick study. Maker."

You can't see him grin, but you can hear it in his voice when he speaks again. "I'm glad you're pleased," he teases, and you only roll your eyes before letting yourself fully relax against him. Your eyes start to droop but you don't have the energy to fight to keep them open, and you end up falling asleep right there in his arms.

He lets you.

You wake up the next morning almost unbearably warm, and when you go to try and sit up, you find that you can't. You freeze as a half-baked realization suddenly comes over you, hesitantly cracking your eyes open.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Oh, kriff. 

You fell asleep here last night. In the Jedi's bed. With the Jedi. He, it turns out, is the reason that you can't move. Obi-Wan's got both arms wrapped tightly around your middle, holding you against his chest with his legs tangled up with yours, and Maker you would never have pegged this man for a cuddler but you couldn't be more wrong, apparently. It does, however, create quite an interesting problem for you.

This is his last morning here before he leaves to return to Coruscant. He and Skywalker are supposed to leave early, before even breakfast. Skywalker will, doubtlessly, be coming around to see what's what's holding his old master up, and soon--and you are still here. 

Where you are. Definitely. Not supposed to be.

You don't know how much time you have but you know that it isn't much. You have got to get out of here before Obi-Wan's pain in the ass prior padawan shows up, and the Jedi looks so peaceful like this that you kind of wish you could just let him sleep but you really don't want to just sneak out on him after last night. So you sigh, reaching up to shake his shoulder gently. "Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan, we have to get up."

It doesn't take much to wake him, thankfully, and he lets go of you to prop himself up on his elbow as he rubs the sleep out of his eyes. "What's wrong?" he asks, his voice still hoarse from sleep as he peers down at you, not quite as surprised to see you there as you'd have maybe expected him to be. 

You don't even get a chance to answer him because there's suddenly a knock on the door, and both of your eyes widen at it. Skywalker. "Obi-Wan?"

Fuck, fuck, fuck, where the fuck are your clothes? You're out of the bed before Obi-Wan even has a chance to stop you, frantically trying to find your clothes and put them on. You toss his trousers at his chest when you come across them and that seems to be what finally spurs him into motion, standing up so he can get them on as he calls back to the other Jedi. "What is it, Anakin?"

There's a moment of confused silence, then: "Cody's landing the transport now."

Obi-Wan opens his mouth like he's about to tell his old padawan that he'll be out momentarily, but doesn't get a chance to get the actual words out before you both hear the hiss of the door starting to slide open. Thank the Maker, you just manage to get your tunic back on before Skywalker comes into sight, and you do your best to try to look fucking normal as his eyes flicker between you but your heart fucking stops when you glance to the left of you and realize that Obi-Wan still isn't wearing a fucking shirt. His entire chest is exposed, which means that all of the marks you left scattered across it are also exposed. Fuck, fuck, fuck--

"I'll just. I'll just see you on the transport."

Skywalker is gone before either of you can react, the door sliding shut behind him. Your next breath leaves your lungs with enough force that it's almost a wheeze, and you have to bend over and put your hands on your knees for a second while you try to process what the fuck just happened. Obi-Wan blinks next to you, looking directly ahead for a second or two more before he suddenly starts chuckling, and you stare at him incredulously. "I'm sorry," he says finally, "That was just…"

You're laughing too, then, shaking your head as you step back over to him, ducking down to grab his shirt from where you can see it on the floor. You place the fabric in his hands and lean up on your toes to press a light kiss to his cheek, giving him a small smile. "Until next time, Master Kenobi?"

He gives you a small smile in return, and surprises you a little bit when he leans in himself and presses a soft kiss to your lips. "Until next time."

Mercifully, no-one questions him when Obi-Wan finally makes it to the transport. He intentionally doesn't look at Anakin even though he can feel the other man's eyes on him as he finds his seat and sits down, straightening his robes. He finds it difficult to keep the smile completely off his face so he just ducks his head instead in the guise of settling in for the flight and studiously ignores the way Anakin is still staring at him. 

"How was your trip, General?" Cody asks, leaning around in the pilot's seat to look back at him once they've left the planet's atmosphere. Obi-Wan opens his mouth to answer but Anakin's there first, suddenly grinning ear-to-ear in a way that makes him distinctly uncomfortable. 

"Oh, the General had a wonderful time." the younger man drawls, looking him right in the eyes as he does, and Obi-Wan wonders not for the first time if Qui-Gon died and left Anakin in his care as some inhumane form of punishment. "Made significant strides with relations and learned a lot, I'm sure."

"Oh, well, that's good, Sir." Cody responds, and Obi-Wan really dearly hopes he's as unaware of the insinuation as he sounds. Cody really does not need to know these things. Anakin does not need to know these things. "I'm glad your mission was productive."

Anakin opens his mouth like he's going to say something else but closes it abruptly and grins instead when Obi-Wan glares at him and shakes his head slowly in warning. "Thank you, Cody." Obi-Wan says instead, leaning back in his seat and letting his eyes close as he tries to relax. Maker, he can still feel the effects of the night before, his muscles are more sore than he would have expected and he finds that he's very aware of the bruises you'd left behind and it's...strangely pleasant. 

He's not allowed to have emotional attachments, but. He kind of does hope that he'll see you again one day anyway. Until next time, Master Kenobi. 

[matrixaffiliate]

Deviation

Chapter Update! FFN and AO3

Forgive me for being a day late. Friday didn't end up going how I planned, in a good way, but it kept me from posting.

Chapter 3

Lily bolted awake in her room in the palace, still feeling the barrel of the pistol against her head.

Everything went wrong yesterday.

She tried to regain control of her breathing as her brain spun through the nightmare. Amy was fine, but much to Lily's dismay her nightmares insisted on painting it otherwise.

Lily pushed off her covers and grabbed her robe, unhappy with everything.

When they'd made it back to the chalet, she'd felt overwhelmed and terrified and was just so angry. She'd handled Lysander unkindly, she knew she had, but she'd been upset, and he had always been the one person she was safe to be a brat with.

Until now.

Just leave me alone, Lys!

The words echoed in her ears as she moved to her sitting room.

His face at her words had killed her, but she hated that he'd been willing to sacrifice his team for her. Logic told her it was his job, his sworn duty to put her above anyone else, as well as the whole team that he'd handpicked, but logic didn't help the reality that in a different world, Amy could be dead because of her.

And then calling her a brat, well, that just exacerbated everything.

Lily threw herself into her couch and huffed. It hadn't helped that Grandfather had packed up everyone and brought them back to the palace within two hours of getting back from Uncle Charlie's home. And then her parents and her brothers and Erin and probably half the palace descended on her. She'd not had a moment to breathe until she'd laid down to sleep that night, and she'd been so exhausted that she'd passed out cold, only to be plagued with nightmares.

But now, at four in the morning, Lily finally had a quiet moment to process everything that had happened and she didn't like any of it. Lysander was her best friend, her boyfriend, but after all of this, she didn't know if they were still anything other than employer and employee.

That thought made her feel sick.

If only she could talk to someone, she'd feel better, but Lysander was who she usually talked out things like this with.

Who would she go to now?

Well, Al was who always helped her before she'd started to shift to Lysander as her shoulder to lean on, maybe he wouldn't mind an early wake-up call.

Lily put on a tracksuit and walked quietly to Al's rooms. She slipped into his sitting room, hoping that he'd be up early too, but found it dark and quiet. The decision to wake him up didn't really feel like a decision, since in the next two hours the rest of the palace would wake and things would go crazy on her again. She needed help and she wasn't in a position to wait patiently for it.

Maybe Lysander wasn't so off base in calling her a brat…

She pushed the thought away and knocked on Al's door.

"Wha-?" Al's groggy voice sounded on the other side.

Lily pushed open the door. "It's me, Al, can I come in?"

"Yeah, yeah, everything alright?"

Lily came to sit at the foot of his bed, struck by how much Al looked like their dad first thing in the morning.

"Not really."

Al shook his head like a dog, probably trying to shake the sleep from his brain. She should have brought some peppermints.

"Lily, I'm really sorry about Marco. It's my fault, I shouldn't have ever listened to him, believed he was my friend, and especially let him meet you."

"Don't beat yourself up over it," Lily sighed, "You couldn't have known he was a maniac."

Al huffed and shoved a hand in his hair. "Sure, but it doesn't change that I feel responsible."

"Well, without all this I wouldn't have ever realized I loved Lysander, not that we're on the best of terms right now."

"What? Why not? I thought the two of you were doing well together."

"I was a brat," Lily swallowed the tears that threatened to spill over.

"Oh, Lils," Al moved to the end of the bed and wrapped her in a hug. "I'm sure whatever you did, he probably had it coming."

"I don't know, I was scared when I lashed out at him, and thinking back on it all, he was probably scared too." Lily shivered at the memory of the gun to her head.

"Have you talked to him?" Al rubbed her arm. "Without attacking him, I mean."

Lily sniffed, "No, the one chance I had I pushed him away and told him to leave me alone."

"The one chance?" Al laughed. "Lily, this whole situation is still less than 24 hours old. You've had one chance so far, and you still have at least one more to go."

"What if he doesn't want to listen to me?"

"Want me to have Craig put him in a headlock?"

Lily laughed, "No."

"See not a brat," Al squeezed her arms. "Go find him today, and talk to him."

"Mum and Dad will have today packed full, I won't have time."

"We're awake now aren't we?"

Lily stilled before looking up at her brother. "You want me to go get him now?"

Al grinned, "Getting you and Lysander back on track seems like the right thing to do since I'm the way Marco got to you in the first place."

"But...how?" Lily felt her nerves building. Was she ready to face Lysander, right now?

Al was shifting away from her and grabbing his phone.

"Craig. No, I'm fine. I need a favor. Yeah, right now. Breakfast after is on me. Thanks, see you in fifteen."

Al set down his phone and stood up. "You've got fifteen minutes to be back here and ready to go."

"Go?"

"To Lysander's flat," Al walked into his closet and came back out with a change of clothes. "If you're ready, great, but wait in the sitting room while I change."

Lily blinked, "I'll be right back."

She ran back to her room and moved at lightning speed, freshening up, fixing her hair, and changing into something other than her tracksuit. Then she ran back to Al's room just before Craig walked up.

"Ready to go?" Craig laughed at her as she tried to catch her breath.

"Yes," Al wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Right Lils?"

She took a steadying breath, feeling her nerves catch up to her from her dash to be ready to go. "Y-Yes."

Craig laughed, "If I were you, I'd like my chances. Let's go give Lysander an early wake-up."

Lily stayed close to Al, holding on to his arm as Craig drove them to Lysander's flat. She wasn't sure she was ready for this, but she did know that she wasn't ready for her relationship with Lysander to be over.

"I don't even know what to say," she fretted as they pulled up to the building.

"Start with apologizing and explain why you did whatever it is you did." Al rubbed her shoulder. "Then tell him how you felt after what he did. And finish with how you don't want this to be the end of your relationship."

"How do you know so much, Mister Still-Single?" Lily pouted at him.

"Like father like son," Craig cackled and Al gave him a glare before turning back to Lily.

"Come on, let's go before everyone at home realizes we've escaped."

Lily almost stopped them to push Al over Craig's comment, but decided Lysander was more important and followed Al up the flight of stairs to Lysander's door, Craig protectively behind her.

"Go ahead and knock," Craig looked at his watch, "Once you're in with Lysander, His Highness here owes me breakfast before I get us back to the palace."

Lily nodded and tentatively rapped on the door.

"Give it more than that," Al chuckled.

She gave the door a solid knock and waited again.

"Maybe this was a bad idea," she started to back away when the door opened.

"Lily? What's wrong?"

Lily licked her lips as Lysander looked at her from the doorway, hair disheveled, eyes bleary, PJs skewed. He was distracting.

"Nothing's wrong," Craig assured him, "We're just here to drop Her Highness off with you. Take care."

Al gave Lily a push and she stumbled into Lysander.

She turned to glare at Al but Lysander had wrapped an arm protectively around her and she didn't manage to get anything past an annoyed glance his way as he winked at her.

"See you two later." Al and Craig disappeared down the steps.

"So…" Lysander rubbed his eyes but didn't release his arm from around her.

"I'm sorry, this seemed like a great idea about forty-five minutes ago."

Lysander chuckled and led her inside his flat. "A lot of things can seem like great ideas when the sun isn't up."

"I just- I wanted to talk," Lily bit her lip and sat down on his couch.

"Alright."

So much for hoping he'd go first.

"I'm, I'm sorry for pushing you away. I was scared, and I was hurt after you called me out on being a brat in front of everyone. So I lashed out at you and I'm sorry."

Lysander rubbed his hands over his face and into his hair as they sat in silence for a long moment.

"I'm sorry too. I was scared and angry and I just let my emotions have control of my words." He tentatively reached out a hand and Lily willingly gave him hers. "I'm sorry I called you a brat in a non-joking way, especially in front of your uncle."

"I'm sorry I was a brat in a non-joking way."

"You weren't a brat, you were scared and you care about your people." Lysander shook his head. "I should have just left you at the chalet and carried out the sting with the team."

"I'm glad you didn't. I would have been going crazy not knowing if you were all ok."

"Lily, you almost died, you had a gun to your head…" He took a shaky breath, "I should have left you at the chalet where you would have been safe. That's my job, to keep you safe, and I failed."

"It's not just your fault," Lily scooted closer to him. "I definitely manipulated the situation to get what I wanted. I wanted to be the bait. I wanted to be a part of the story. I wanted to be with you."

Lysander squeezed her hand but kept his eyes down. "Do you still want to be with me?"

"If you still want to be with me."

There was a heartbeat where Lily thought that maybe he'd turn her down, maybe he didn't want her, maybe he'd decided it was just too much to be with her in any way more than her best friend and personal security.

But then his arms were pulling her into his chest as his lips captured hers in a passion and frenzy that shut off her brain to everything but Lysander and the way that he was so fully pouring himself into her through his kiss.

Lily slid her arms up around his neck and pulled herself into his lap, trying to get closer to him, her best friend, her boyfriend.

Lysander took advantage of her new position and kissed down her neck, causing her to arch into him as he pulled a quiet sigh from her.

"When did you tell the palace you'd be back?"

"Hmm?"

Lysander chuckled and brought his lips back up to hers. "When did you tell them you'd be back?"

Lily blinked, "I didn't tell anyone we were leaving."

Lysander dropped his head to her shoulder and groaned. "Come on, before they send out a search party."

"What?" Lily held on when he tried to shift her off of him to stand. "No! I want to be here!"

He grinned and kissed her again but made it far too brief. "You have no idea how happy that makes me, but Lils, you just had someone attack you less than twenty-four hours ago. Trust me, the entire palace is going to be pulling the building apart when you're not in your room."

Lily pouted, "But we're having fun."

Lysander kissed her, a kiss full of promise that left her breathless when he pulled back. "I have no intention of dropping you off at the gate, Lils."

Lily let out a whisper of a laugh, "Alright, if you're coming with me, then I guess we can go back to the palace."

"Good, let me grab some clothes."

Lily bit her lip, "Need a hand?"

HPPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

"I wish you would have worn the cumberbund," Lily adjusted Lysander's suit coat.

It had taken far longer than Lily had wanted to get this ball put together, and she'd found herself hiding her relationship with Lysander from the population for almost four months. But finally, they'd made it, and she wouldn't need to hide how much she loved this man from anyone any longer.

"I didn't like how it altered my draw."

"Marco is in prison, Lys, I don't think you need to go everywhere with a pistol tucked in your back anymore."

Lysander just kissed her, his hand running along the low-cut back of her dress. "You're gorgeous, Lils, there's always going to be at least one Marco out there when you look like you walked out of a fairytale."

"You're trying to distract me," she brought her lips back to his, enjoying how he pulled her closer to him.

"And you like it," he kissed up her cheek to whisper in her ear, "Besides, your entire surprise would go out the window if I walked out looking like a prince. They'd guess it the second they saw me."

Lily grinned, "It's a good surprise."

"The country's sweetheart officially has a boyfriend," he kissed her nose, "I think you'll have little girls lining up to ask when you're getting married."

Lily giggled, "I hadn't thought about that. I'll have to figure out what to tell them."

"How about next year?"

Lily felt her breathing stop as Lysander stepped back and dropped to one knee, pulling a ring out of his pocket.

"Lils, I've loved you for half my life and you've been my best friend for as long as I can remember. I want to spend forever with you. Princess Lily Luna Molly Euphemia Potter, will you marry me?"

"Yes," Lily laughed as he stepped up and pulled her back into him, kissing her so thoroughly that she was certain he was ruining her makeup and Erin would panic when she came to collect them.

"Wait," Lily pulled back a little, "I need to tell Erin, they have to change what they say-"

Lysander kissed her again, "Erin knows, Lils. I already cleared all of this with her."

"I also knew Her Highness would need fresh makeup before she went out." Erin came walking up behind them. "Congratulations!"

"Does everyone know?" Lily laughed as Erin started wiping away the smears of her makeup and handed Lysander a wipe.

"Yes," Erin frowned as Lysander missed the lipstick on his cheek entirely. "Come here, Lysander, you absolutely can not go out there with lipstick on your face."

"I thought the color brought out my eyes," He teased but let Erin clean off his face.

"Very funny, now stand there looking menacing while I fix Lily's makeup and then you can put that ring on her hand we'll get this show on the road."

Lily tried not to grin at him as Erin applied a bit more lipstick on her. "I like you looking menacing."

"Alright," Erin handed the makeup bag to one of the staff. "Time to let the country know their favorite royal is getting married."

Lily held out her hand and felt her heart take flight as Lysander slid the ring on her finger, bowing to kiss her fingers as he did so.

"I love you."

"I love you too." She took his arm and let him lead her into the ballroom to her waiting family and the rest of the guests, all clapping for the happily ever after she and Lysander had finally found.

[truerescreatuconfessions]

Advice to Rescreatu Mods

Just wanted to share some advice for mods - from someone who has worked as a moderator in different communities - as it relates to the discord screenshots.

No one likes being called out publicly when they break a rule, and especially not in ALL CAPS. It's happened to me! It makes you feel sad, embarrassed and hesitant to post in that environment again. Sometimes it is unavoidable, but as a mod you should be mindful of this and do what you can to mitigate those negative feelings so that you don't lose members of your community every time someone makes a mistake.

In this situation I would highly recommend privately contacting that user (if it is allowed). Explain the rule politely, let them know the intent of the rule and how to follow it. Let them know their mistake is not a big deal, it's common, maybe even say, "These rules can get confusing, there's a lot to remember and we all get confused about them sometimes." It's much kinder to move this kind of discourse to a private message, where they don't have to feel publicly attacked and shamed. It also prevents users like Persephone from ganging up on the user and intensifying the situation. If they are still upset, talk it out with them and:

Apologize. Apologize. Apologize.

Don't be too good to say, "I'm sorry," and be sincere. Not because you are in the wrong, but because you are sorry there was a misunderstanding that needed to be corrected and you're sorry if it makes them feel bad. Be on their side, not against them, and don't follow it up with something passive aggressive like, "I apologize for enforcing the rules that everyone has to follow." That's not going to make them feel better or help, especially when it's said publicly - a statement like that is clearly meant to one-up that user and shame them for not knowing all of your rules by heart. They're already probably embarrassed by their mistake and now you're making them feel defensive. No one wants to be treated that way.

I know some reactions to this will be, "Fuck that! Why should I tip-toe around some rule-breaking asshat?" But these screenshots are a great opportunity to talk about why it matters. For one thing, the rest of your community is watching you handle the situation. Screenshots often get involved. But above all, user retention should always be your priority when you're working in user relations. Think of it as a customer service job. It's vital to give users positive associations with your community so they want to keep coming back. It's easy to dismiss this advice and say it's unnecessary, to which I would suggest you think about your priorities in the position you hold. If you don't care about retaining users you are probably not serving your community or employer to the best of your ability.

Being a mod isn't about winning arguments. It's not even really about enforcing every rule to the letter. It's about maintaining a positive, fair, safe, and fun environment for your users and making sure they want to come back!

Should we blame Juke or any of the other mods? Maybe not. I know when I was a support member of Rescreatu the training on this subject was nonexistent, so it wouldn't surprise me if no one on staff is taught about user retention, moderator etiquette or site goals still. Res staff also tended to support this bad behavior by "sticking together" and agreeing privately that the user in question was just an asshole. It's good to vent and be supportive of your coworkers, but there was never any constructive feedback or correction - just, "We are right and users are stupid." It doesn't help anyone.

Yes, some users will be rude, call you names, or refuse to listen no matter what you do. It doesn't matter. It's not their job to be professional - but it is yours! You "win" in these situations by being the best face possible for the community, not by becoming emotional or volatile, and not by scaring users into compliance. If someone refuses to cooperate after calm, friendly efforts like this you will be fully justified in taking actions against them (like temporary or permanent bans if they continue to be non-compliant) and it won't reflect poorly on you or your fellow staff.

Obviously there are instances where this does not apply, like trolls. But if you're dealing with a user who made an honest mistake, or someone who just has a disagreement, this method really is the best. I know most of us prefer to win arguments online, we like using the most biting language to drive home how right we are and how wrong the other person is, but as a mod you will be much more happy, liked and successful if you follow this advice.

When I'm training mods I evaluate how they interact with users and assess their method. Juke strikes me as someone uncomfortable with genuine apologies and using friendly language. They have a tendency to be passive-aggressive, confrontational and possibly reject responsibility for their mistakes. I'm saying this based on other interactions I've seen as well. I'm not writing this to shame them, but I do think it's important we talk about it since a lot of users have felt this way towards them.

None of this I learned on my own, I had to be taught, and it took me time to accept my mistakes. I hated being called out when my actions escalated a situation instead of improving it. I hated being told I should be nice to people who made me mad. I was someone who would've said, "Fuck off, they are breaking rules, I'm the one in the right!" I was lucky to learn from some very smart people who could turn any problem around and make it positive - which I really admired. I wanted to be that kind of person.

I see mods/staff out there like Okami, Shark, and others who I truly believe are putting their best foot forward for the community with good intentions, who could help grow the site with a little support and some proper etiquette training for all staff. It's important the whole team understands the directive: More users = better site. Happy users = users who stay and bring friends into the community. THAT is when you have succeeded.

Anyway, sorry for the text wall. I hope it can be received with an open mind.

----

Note from Rescon Mod:

Jesus this was long but I fully support the sentiment. 👍

[victoriousscarf]

Can I ask about the path you took toward working in public history? I'm in grad school at the moment. (I also have a complicated family situation and the world is kind of a mess so I'm not necessarily expecting an answer that gives some kind of set path I can follow, I'm just curious.)

Ok... So ...

Like I think it's always hard to be in the public history field and be like yeah! You're totally gonna get something! Because of my like cohort when I started grad school I think... 3...no 4 of us have stable employment in the field. One I know of is field adjacent. One left to become an artist, one has never held a job in the field at all, and a lot have either struggled with work or been underemployed. So it's rough and I think the pandemic has made library/museum/archives jobs way harder.

But.

I went to school specifically in a program for archives and records management. That program no longer exists, and most archives jobs want an MLIS anyway. (I've gotten some shady looks from hiring managers not in the field because they're like... It's not an MLIS and I'm like no? Because it was way more specialized?? Like I am super qualified okay I promise). This was... Not a great idea. The more specialized you are, the harder to switch tracks it is. I've been considering going back for a museum degree just for more flexibility because that's honestly the only way to survive in this field. Right now I'm seeing more museum jobs than archives, but my curator friend was insisting it was the other way when she was applying so it's also just luck of the draw.

So I have super specialized education. Pros and cons.

I then took an internship as an interpretive ranger at a national park site. And that was the best thing I ever did for myself. There are several programs that do internships with the NPS, but a lot of them are age specific. The one I did was for 26 and below, so it wouldn't be useful for older folks going back to school but! There's also federal jobs that are either for people still in school (I think it was called pathways back then?) Or some jobs are only open for recent grads. It was paid and they provided housing. A lot of internships don't do that and it's awful and there's been a slow but steady reckoning in the field that unpaid internships are bad and exclusionary to people who don't have any support sytem backing them.

Working for the NPS opened up a lot of doors for me. The federal government is very difficult to break into. It doesn't really matter what the job posting says, if you don't have experience, you probably aren't getting through the questionnaire. (And yes. There are questionnaires. So. Many. Questionnaires). But if you luck into an internship, you learn about the system and you get experience and no matter where you go after that, it's good to have in your pocket in case you need it again.

After that I also lucked out with a partnership program through my old grad program. It is definitely worth checking to see what sort of connections the program might have. Because I got something like 9 months of work that was paid for by my grad program to work in an entirely different state to finish a project for them. Look around, connections really matter in the public history field. If you have the chance to go to a conference, yeet yourself toward it. It's hard to like meet people, but the nice thing is most folks in the field are fucking nerds who are probably socially awkward too. Archives potlucks are hailrious because 89% of the folks have got social anxiety. They all wanna bring a book and sit and read quietly. But the more people you meet, the more connections you make, the better (also Archivists looooove twitter. Ugh. And there's a lot of really good archives/library/museum groups on facebook. I'd recommend them).

The more weird shit you can put on your resume, the better. Saying which parks I worked at (sometimes very famous ones) made me stand out. I also ran a day long academic conference in grad school and was president of a student chapter of a professional organization. It almost killed me, but it stood out in people's minds. One of my co workers did field work in Eygpt, and our supervisor mentions seeing that on her resume all the time. Like that was part of what drew him to it. Again, money is an issue for most people and this is hard to pull off, but weird shit helps you stand out. Emphasis anything cool you've ever done in your whole life. I also did national history day in high school. That meant I was our education specialists favorite person when it came time to help high schoolers on their project. Even if it's too late for you to do that in high school, see if you have a regional competition nearby. Or state even. Volunteer. That's also something that stands out (plus helping wee history nerds can be a treat... When you're not being reminded why high school was so terrible lol).

I also moved to 6 states in... 5 years. And I don't mean neighboring states either I mean I started on the west coast and flung myself all the way to the western side of the Mississippi River. And then North. And then South. And then West again. This is not possible for a lot of people because a) money and b) family. Even with all that moving I was unemployed for 6 or so months in the middle of it. It is hard to be looking for work so constantly and then packing up your life and yeeting yourself to another state /again./

I also have a chronic condition with regularly scheduled flare ups. Moving away from my family for work has sucked, being in pain and having to explain to a new boss I'll have to take some time off every year to like, lay on the floor in pain, sucks. So like. It can be done even WITH stuff like that too.

But I have been incredibly lucky. Because I got a few breaks when I needed one. Because I was in a position to go for what I could take. I also missed certain chances I should have been able to take. That's never a good feeling but it doesn't mean one missed chance or fuck up is the end of the road.

So yeah, as you said, every circumstance is different, every road is different, but I do think hearing a) it can be done and b) different approaches to how it can be done, can really help. Like even if you can't do the same stuff, maybe there's something in there that can help out. Some spark of an idea of something to try.

(I'm also making this public in case it helps anyone else ... I hope that's okay).

(this got long lol. But I was trying to think of like any advice that could help. There's a lot of pathways to get into the field, but volunteering, weird shit on that resume, being willing to go the extra bit, those are probably the most basic take aways anyone could try).