#as an expert in holding my hand up to someone else's and going 'ha ha wow yours is so much bigger'. throw me through a wall please

[whifferdills]

sorry can i just -

[anemhoez]

Otherworldly…

Boothill/AFAB Reader

tags: @bokukenmakuroo

WARNINGS: unprotected sex I GUESS?? he doesn’t ejaculate and its made of fine grade silicone sooo????

A/N: in where Boothill gets a check-up 🤭 ok ok so the recent quest let us know more about him and this has been in the drafts for a while so there will be inaccuracies hehe and alot left to my imagination, yes im a robot fucker HEHE! also please imagine my man with the prettiest most perfect robot dick you’ve ever seen, lord i just know its big…oh also im not a robotics or programming expert but they’re in space and stuff im sure tech like this exists in their world SOMEHOW loll

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

“Hold still, it should only take a few seconds.” you said to Boothill as he fidgeted under your touch. “I’m ticklish doc,” he said with a sharp toothed smile as you replaced one of the many sensory devices on the metal skin at his shoulder.

“The famous interstellar galaxy ranger being subdued by a bit of tickling? Don’t let your enemies find out.” Once finished, you reattached the cover and made sure it was flush with the other metal parts of his body. He truly was a technological marvel, sleek and efficient with not one line of code or piece of hardware going to waste. You considered yourself lucky to be his technician, a job offer you were pleasantly surprised by.

“You think I’ve got enemies?” he asked with sincerity, not believing that there were people out there who actually didn’t like him, or even targeted him. “I’ve seen the reports Boot.” you quickly pulled up a program on the screen in front of you to begin configuring the new sensor.

“Thats all…alternative facts, darlin.” you simply rolled your eyes and input some commands, ignoring his silly statement. “You say your synesthesia beacon was hacked?” you asked for reassurance, not once looking away from the screen and you heard as he sucked his teeth behind you.

“It sure forkin’ was, you think you can fix it?” You knew you were a great technician, fantastic even. But taking down an IPC virus? That was something you’d need a few days to crack. “I can try,” you cocked your head to the side, your statement causing him to jump up off the examination table in excitement.

“But aside from that and the sensor malfunction, is there anything else you need looking at?” you asked as you typed quickly. “You might as well get everything looked at before you head back out.” He stayed quiet though, not answering your question but instead turning away from you.

“Boothill?” you asked turning to him, realizing he was awfully quiet for someone who just jumped up for joy. He rubbed the back of his neck, “We have, doctor and patient confidentiality right?” he asked in a low gravely voice, as if someone would be able to hear him outside of your workshop.

“Dammit boothill! I’m a mechanic not a doctor!” you exclaimed absolutely sick of him calling you by a title you didn’t have credentials for. “So no we don’t but,” you stood up and walked over to him, turning his body around in a circle looking him over to see if it was something visible on him you could fix right away. “I’m not going to go around and talk about it if that’s what you mean.”

You placed a hand on your hip, “I may not look it cause I’m usually covered in grease and keep my workshop a mess, but I do consider myself a professional you know.” he sighed and looked at you, “Of course you are! You’re one of the best machinists I’ve ever had, it’s just. Aw fudge how do I even say this?!”

He resigned himself to feeling foolish for the worries he had. “I’m uh, having trouble with…intimacy.” he finally said, meeting your eyes. “Well, I’m also not a match maker so…” you looked at him with an eyebrow raised. He sighed and held his head in his hands, “Finding a partner isn’t the issue, it’s when I’m with someone. I can’t really feel it, you understand?”

You tried to picture it in your mind. Could cyborgs even achieve an orgasm? And even if they could, could they ejaculate? The scholar in you was fascinated, but the friend and professional in you was ready to help in any way you could.

You grabbed a tool from your bench quickly and headed back towards him. “Drop ‘em.” you said matter of factly pointing to his pants and he clutched his groin in reaction to you. “You fudgin’ joking? Wait, come on now-“ he stuttered through his words as a blush formed on his face. “Boot, do you want me to help you or not?” you crossed your arms, “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, you can trust me.”

He had never had someone besides the technician who affixed his broken body to metal even look down there. He hesitated but given just how important this was to him, he sighed and dropped his trousers after undoing his belt. His cock was…to say the least…impressive. It even bobbed and twitched in a way similar to that of a person made of flesh and bone. Upon seeing it through the eyes of a machinist however, you started to notice just how intricately crafted it was.

“Aeons, just what exactly were they thinking with detail like this?” you asked with a small giggle before taking his appendage in your hand and detaching it from his body. “I’m not a love machine, if that’s what you’re insinuating sweetheart.” He explained almost immediately, as if it’s something that needed defending. He shuffled back into his pants, “This iron body of mine was made for combat, and revenge.” You shrugged playfully and raised an eyebrow, “So you didn’t ask them for this cock then?” you joked, holding it in your hand and testing its weight. “Alright, alright just…see what you can do?” He huffed and pulled his hat down over his eyes in embarrassment.

You began disassembling the object, looking for any visible damage. “You keeping it clean and oiled?” you ask and he just sighs, “This is so embarrassing but yes. I perform regular maintenance on myself weekly.”

“Only weekly?” you teased and he rolled his eyes, “Okay okay, I’ll stop.” you reassembled everything and took the device over to your computer, plugging a wire into the hidden port you found

“Let’s see what…oh wow!” you yelped as you examined the device’s programming. “What an interesting piece of tech!” you said with a smile. Now you were the one blushing. “What?” he said and came over to examine the code with you, only seeing an unfamiliar mess of text. “Is it broken?!”

You input a commend into the terminal and the appendage began thrusting on its own. “Quite the opposite actually, did you know it had this many modes?” You typed away and the device now vibrated so violently it rolled off of the desk and onto the floor. “I should’ve guessed what extreme vibration meant.” you picked it up and held it with both hands.

For some reason, seeing you holding it like you were about to jerk it off made him stare. “No I didn’t, but that’s not the issue I’m having. I’m having trouble really feeling, if you catch my drift?” he said and looked away again while coughing awkwardly.

“You mean having an orgasm?” You placed the metallic phallus on the desk with a loud thud. “I can check if you have any software updates, and maybe come up with something of my own.” you turned to him, “If you don’t mind leaving it here with me to tinker with it.” you said with a playful smirk. That was all he needed to hear as he turned to head out, “I’ve never been without it for long so, just be gentle okay?” he said as he headed out. You immediately turned towards him, “Hey! Just what do you think I’m gonna do with it?!”

************

You had stayed up late the past couple of nights, modding the mechanical cock. If your professor had told you all those years ago in university that you’d be working on an interstellar cowboy’s robotic dick, you probably would’ve screamed. But here you were, losing sleep to help a client yet again. You had reviewed so many lines of code that you were even seeing it whenever you closed your eyes.

“Warming mode?” you whispered to yourself and looked over at the cock half expecting it to shoot off into the ceiling, but nothing happened. You reached out and grabbed it, feeling a light warmth to it. “Oh!” you said out loud as you held it with both hands, the warm appendage oddly soothing in your grip. You rubbed the smooth artificial skin, gunmetal gray in color and detailed with thick veins. The smoothness of it was thanks to the layer of silicone skin that felt so much like the real thing it almost scared you. Not to heavy, but not too light either, almost the perfect weight and girth. A devious fleeting thought flashed in your mind, of how it could possibly feel inside of you.

You shook the thoughts from your head immediately and put it down, finally turning off your computer and heading to bed to get the rest you so desperately needed.

************

Boothill arrived a few days later in much better spirits. “Well? How’s my pecker?” he said loudly with his arms out as he walked over to you. You shook your head and grabbed a tool to reattach it to him. “This thing’s a monster.” you said tiredly and helped him with his pants once the device was back on his body. You observed how he adjusted himself in his pants, he was no different from someone with an actual dick in that regard either. Another one of those debaucherous thoughts came to your mind as you looked him up an down. Thats when you realized just how fucking attractive he was.

“Anyway, I adjusted some things so you don’t accidentally kill anyone.” You explained the various functions and modes, telling him the restrictions you put on certain settings so no one would get seriously hurt while fucking him. “Yeah I’d hate to burn someone’s uh, insides.”

“I also wanna see if I can get your beacon working again.” You handed him a wire and he connected it to a port on his neck. You started the download and waited for the hack to work. You looked at the cowboy who was currently smiling at you.

“I can’t thank you enough doc- uh Y/n.,” You smiled back and waved him off, “It was nothing, I’m happy to help.” you started re-organizing your tools as his software updated. “Bet you’re just dying to see if it worked, I don’t mind testing it out right now.” he suggested and took his hat off, placing it on your desk gently. Of course you’d want to know if your tinkering actually worked, but you knew the only way to test it was for him to…well…pleasure himself.

“Sure, you can use the bathroom and test it out. Let me know how it felt, in detail.” you said as a slight heat crept up your body. He looked in the direction of the bathroom, a smile spreading on his lips. “Actually, I was hoping you’d want to test it out, with me?”

His words shot straight to your core, your stomach jumping with sudden anticipation. Your cheeks went flush and you hoped you didn’t look as flustered as you felt. “Are you sure? Wouldn’t that be a little uh, inappropriate?” you put down your tools and turned to look at him. You inched closer and closer, knowing you weren’t about to pass up the offer. After all, it was your duty as a scientist wasn’t it?

He chuckled and started moving closer as well, “What’s so inappropriate about making sure your hard work pays off?” He was but a breath away and reached out to grab your hand and you let him intertwine his fingers with yours, his robotic hand surprisingly gentle. “In all honesty, I thought about it while I was working on…it.” He moaned out loudly, “That’s so fucking hot.” he said, stopping when he realized he finally cursed properly.

“Looks like your beacon is fixed,” you pulled the wire from his neck gently, “Don’t go getting hacked again.” you teased and his hands came to rest on your waist. “You’ll fix me though? Won’t ya?” he leaned in, closing the small gap between you two. You moved to wrap your arms around his neck and mumbled a soft “Yes.” into the kiss as he lifted you up.

He walked the both of you to the workbench that was high enough so that you were perfectly fitted in his embrace. His strong yet gentle hands trailed up your back and under your shirt, his mouth hot on yours as the two of you shared an intense kiss.

You allowed him to pull your shirt off of you, briefly interrupting the kiss. “You’ve got such great control of your mobility module.” you said in praise and he moved in to kiss at the exposed flesh now available to him. His tongue licked a trail along your collar bones to your neck, “Can you, taste? “ He chuckled against your skin as he sucked, parting your legs before pulling away. “Sure can.” he whispered gruffly in your ear before bending down and slotting between your legs.

You hesitated a bit when you saw his sharp teeth, worried about your sensitive skin down there. But as soon as he buried himself into your cunt you threw your head back, letting the pleasure take over and the worries fade.

He moaned, the highly sensitive sensors on his tongue allowing him to fully enjoy your taste. You tugged at his hair, moving it out of his face to get a better look at him. He met your gaze and pulled away, his elongated tongue shrinking down to its regular size impressively.

“And you say you’re not a love machine,” you teased and wrapped your legs around his neck. You wiped at the corner of his mouth and he opened it to suck on your thumb, “Mmh, I can be your love machine,” he said before moving back to work his tongue along your folds. You watched it extend in real time as he dove in deeper inside of you, spreading your legs widers to get his artificial tongue as deep as he could. You felt him so deep inside, an unfamiliar but delicious feeling, making you let out a loud whimper at the intensity of it all.

He snaked his arms around your thighs, pulling you even closer while he pulled up on the skin above your pussy. “Ahh!,” you moaned out and dug your nails into his scalp desperately. The cowboy groaned deeply, lapping up what poured out of you and soon introducing his fingers to fuck you while his mouth sucked hard at your clit.

You could feel yourself coming undone as his nimble fingers curved to find your spot, fingering you hard. You soon cried out as you climaxed, writhing under his touch and clenching down on his fingers as he stood to face you.

You immediately pulled him into a kiss, pulling your bra down to finally expose your breasts to him. His hands came to squeeze the soft flesh and he pulled away, staring at them lovingly as he chuckled. “What’s so funny?” you asked looking at him while you held onto the backs of his mechanical hands as he squeezed. “I’ve just…been wanting to do this for a very, very long time.”

He pulled himself from his pants and began sliding his thick metallic shaft against your wet folds. “Fuck, I can feel how wet you are? I can’t believe it.” You patted yourself on the back mentally for your ingenuity. You moved to take him by the back of his head for another feverish kiss. He held you close, his metal abs and chest surprisingly warm against your skin. The two of you pulled away from each other with a huff after making out for a few minutes.

“You’re a fucking genius.” he praised and held your face in his hands, your face heating up at the compliment. “Thank you,” you breathed deeply and looked down at his cock that was still teasing you, desperately wanting him inside of you. “I’d love to see what else I’ve improved upon,” you said as you laid back down, opening your legs wide for him. Your hands went to your folds where you collected your slick and moved to tease your bud, “And if you’re any better than something I can manufacture on my own.”

You saw a glint in his eyes as he smiled wickedly. He took your hand from your cunt and along with your other hand, he pinned them over your head. He grunted as he finally entered you, his long hair cascading down on either side of his face as he moved in closer to kiss you.

Those thick eight inches of his robotic cock finally plunged into you, deep. You whined, the sensation feeling so familiar to the “real” thing but so much better. He growled and nipped at your bottom lip, all the while pushing in and out of you slowly.

“You curious about the modes? Or do you just want me at default?” he asked as he let go of your hands. “Surprise me.” You pulled him back to your lips and he kissed you roughly before leaning back up and pulling you towards the edge of the bench.

You watched as he lolled his head back, his body fully reacting to being inside of you. “This what I’ve been missing?” he asked rhetorically, as you propped yourself up on your elbows. “How is it?” you asked, wanting to know if your improvements worked. “Amazing, It’s so warm and tight darlin’.” he hissed as he moved his hands to grab your ankles.

“I mean- ahh!” you were cut off by a particularly hard thrust, “What are you feeling?” you asked and kissed him briefly before letting him speak again. “It feels like every one of my sensors is activating at once, an overall good feeling? I don’t really know how to-” You cut him off to kiss him again, running your tongue over his sharp teeth before pulling away. “That’s okay, it seems like the program is working, fuck!” you exclaimed as his dick brushed over that oh so sweet and toe curling spot inside of you. You looked at him with pleading eyes, “You’re fucking me so good Boothill.”

Lost in the moment and moaning against his lips, you suddenly felt his cock getting warmer inside of you. The sensation filling you with new feelings of pleasure you’d never felt before. “Risky but, fuck that feels so good.” Your words caught in your throat as he thrust into you harder. “Got somethin else for ya.” He practically growled as his cock started to vibrate inside of you.

“Oh fuck!” his pistoning inside of you sped up as you came hard, clenching down on him and causing him to moan out loudly. The cry that fell from his lips was desperate, “Fuck how did you-?!” he couldn’t stop himself as he fucked into you faster and harder, “Get tighter?!” the vibrations along with the almost brutal pounding he was giving you brought you over the edge again and this time your juices squirted all over him.

He slowed down and pulled out of you, your essence slick on his shaft and spilling out of you onto the bench. You whimpered as he pumped his fingers into you, your cunt still extremely sensitive. “And you think what I’ve got between my legs is dangerous.” He said with a smile before bringing you to stand on your wobbly legs, re-entering you from behind and meeting your lips as you turned to look back at him.

Boothill gained that sane speed from before within seconds, his cock at default as he chased whatever high he could find. “You doin ok doll?” His voice seemed so sweet and gentle against the lewd and messy sounds of his harsh backshots into you. He then pulled you further onto him by grabbing a fistful of your hair. “Yessshmmmmmuhh, its- hmmssofuckiggood.” You babbled gibberish as your response to him, just scratching at the the cold slab below you. He fucked into you faster and faster, your pussy clenching down on him as you lost yourself in the full body euphoria that overtook you.

Boothill chuckled darkly and pumped into you harder, moaning as his peak neared with every thrust. He let out an almost howl, feeling your tightness around him bringing him over into a sweet, delicious bliss that he could really feel for the first time. “Fuuuck!” he sighed and stuttered against you, leaning over and biting down your neck gently as he “came”.

“Your hard work payed off gorgeous, that was incredible.” He praised as he slowly leaned back and pulled out of you. You turned to him seeing his very satisfied and flushed face, “Incredible is an understatement,” you sighed and reached down to grab your pants, “That was, fucking otherworldly.”

You were about to put your pants back on but he stopped you. “What the hell you doin’ darlin? I’ve only fucked one hole so far,” he looked at you with intense eyes as he moved in closer. “For fuck’s sake Boothill, you’re gonna ruin me for other people!” He smiled that signature pointy smile of his and gave you a kiss on the cheek.“Thats the point.” His voice was alot lower than it usually was, a sultry and sensual tone laced within it.

“Now, on your knees.” You obliged quickly, finally taking off your bra so that you were completely bare before him. You took his cock in your mouth eagerly, looking up at him through your lashes as you took him in fully. You were proud of your work, there was truly no technician out more brilliant and luckier than you in this moment.

Now, if only you could manufacture and program a way to have him ejaculate inside of you…

A/N: i think i blacked out writing this………hes sooooooo…..i will never be normal about him thank you so much hoyo for this rootin tootin hottie 🥴 GODDDDD SAVE A HORSEEEEE!!! 🤧 i also think itd be cute to have other scenarios with him like….him learning how to love someone again and- 😭 idk i just want some angssst and like, a life with him?!?!

[emithecharmer]

Shakespeare's Apprentice

Vampire!Hyunjin x human!reader

Warnings: One swear (kind of), vampires

"Soo.." I bit my lip nervously.

"What do vampires do exactly?" I asked, unconsciously bringing some of my hair over my shoulder.

"Stay out of sight, but you can see how that's going." Hyunjin chuckled, resting his head on his arm, turning to face me.

"Do you sleep?" He shook his head.

"Can you eat human food or-?" His lip curled up at that.

"We can, but it's not good." My jaw dropped.

"So, all of the times I cooked for you-" He perked up.

"Now, that was good. It reminded me of when I was human, your soup tastes like my mom's did." He smiled softly.

"Do you miss her?"

"Every single day. I stayed with her until her dying breath, she was a bit curious on why I hadn't aged, but..She never cared much about it." He chuckled a bit.

"Was it hard?" He shrugged.

"I think what helped was the fact she was my mom. I would hate myself for the rest of my life if I hurt her," He tilted his head to look at you, "or you." My heart fluttered and he smiled.

"Is it hard being around me?" I asked, turning to face him, although it was a bit difficult, due to us being in the car.

"Not at all. You're a breath of fresh air." I blinked, surprised at that.

"You're my mate, which means your blood has no appeal to me, only you do." I frowned.

"So, you wouldn't like me if I wasn't your- mate?" He shook his head.

"It's not that simple. A mate is..someone that we're tied to. It's someone that we protect, and that was..made for us? But not in a weird way..It's like..You know what a soulmate is, yes?" I nodded.

"It's like that."

"So we're soulmates?" He nodded at my question.

"Is it weird?" He asked, a bit self-conscious at the new ground he was treading.

"..Well, I mean, you are kind of a vampire, so besides the obvious, not really." He chuckled at my answer.

"'Kind of a vampire?'" I rolled my eyes at his teasing, gaining confidence.

"You know what I mean." He nodded, smiling.

"Your smile's pretty." I said without thinking.

"You're pretty." He replied, reaching out slowly, as if not to scare me, and grabbed my hand, holding it in his. I noted the temperature difference, but it somehow didn't bother me as much as I thought it might.

"Am I cold?" He asked.

"Yeah, but it's nice."

"You're really warm." He said.

"..Can I ask more questions?"

"Can I keep holding your hand?" I nodded.

"Then yes."

.

"What about kids?" I asked.

"I don't really know, I guess it's not impossible? But I'm not exactly an expert on the subject."

"How old were you when you were turned?"

"18."

"Do you know any other vampires?" He nodded.

"I have a coven."

"A 'coven?'" I tilt my head.

"We're basically a band of vampires." He explained in simple terms.

"Oh, right, duh, 'Twilight.' And a 'band?' Ooh, i'll buy tickets." He snorts at my lame joke.

"I'll get you a backstage pass." I smile.

.

"So, what do you do? I mean..I hope you don't do what the Cullens did." He groaned.

"Heck no, I think we'd kill ourselves doing that. I paint, and sell them online. Chris, our 'sire' or 'leader,' whatever he is, he produces along with Bin and Jisung, all online. Minho sells recipes and Felix does the same, but he's also a masked gamer on Twitch and YouTube. Seungmin is a masked singer, along with Jeongin, but both of them kind of dabble in their interests." I nod, entranced as he talks, and i think he notices based off his smirk.

"Don't make me wipe that smirk off." I warn.

"Don't threaten me with a good time." He teases back, smiling softly as he looked into my eyes. "They're gorgeous," he continues, "your eyes, I mean. The rest of you is beautiful too, but your eyes make me feel like i'm somewhere else..Like i'm," he struggled to find the words, "human."

"Ok, Shakespeare, don't go all poet on me." He laughed, leaning in.

"Forgive me, my love, I must have forgotten how small-minded you are."

"Oh really? I'll show you small minded." He laughed again as I struggled to open the car door.

"You may want to try unlocking it."

"I was testing you."

"Ah, of course." He didn't call out my lie as we both got out of the car from where we were parked in the riverfront parking lot.

"Is this how you change me, drown me and then sink your teeth in me." His eyes widen at my joke.

"I would never! But yes, drowning is typically the way we go." He said, obviously joking and making me roll my eyes. "One of these days, they'll get stuck up there."

"Damn, okay mom." He huffs, smiling, but it soon disappears as he looks up to the sky.

"What is it?"

"It's going to rain soon, we should head back, I'll drive you home."

"....Or..." He turns to me, his brow furrowing.

"What?" He asks as the first few drops fall onto the smooth rocks under our feet.

"..Well, and call me crazy if you must, but uh..We could dance." His face softens for a split second before he smirks.

"Who's Shakespeare now?"

"Uh, still you, babygirl. I'm just super-uber romantic." He smiles, walking to me and taking my hand in his, laying it gently on his shoulder, taking my other hand and interlacing it with his.

"Luckily, i am too." He smiles, and I swear my heart stops as he leans down, pressing our foreheads together.

"I'm glad I met you, Hyunjin." I say as we sway to the music that can only be heard in our hearts.

"I'm eternally blessed that you've chosen to grace me with your beauty."

"Someone call up Italy, cause I got Shakespeare right here."

"I take it back." He says, before kissing me softly.

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Hero and healer Villian are married. Villian doesn't want hero to go on dangerous mission, hero goes anyway and Villian due to their anger says NEVER COME BACK HERE AGAIN. hero makes a small mistake on mission and is brutally whipped by their superiors but Villian has no idea. They meet at a gala where things get hot. And when Villian touches hero's back just slightly, that is when they feel it. And hero thinks Villian doesn't care at all what happened to them.

Bonus: Villian's healing hurts even more than getting hurt, and there's no way they're letting their partner go without healing them first.

"Please," the villain said, no, begged between kisses. "Please don't leave me ever again. I refuse to let go of you."

"I thought you were mad at me," the hero said. They sat up on the villain's hips and searched for a way to get under the villain's clothes with eager fingers. "I thought you hated me."

"God, no. I was worried. I was so worried." The villain was (thankfully) nearly done with taking off the hero's clothes. They couldn't fight this burning, that scorching feeling in their chest and this horrible longing they had been feeling for the past week. One week without the hero was, indeed, torture. "I am so sorry for everything. I will make it up to you, I promise."

They pulled the hero against their chest and kissed them, losing themselves on the hero's lips.

Hell, this was their spouse. This was their hero. The sheer thought of being without them was devastating. It was something unspeakable, something blasphemous. At times, the villain felt like they couldn't breathe without them. As if they could only live when they shared a breath with them.

They had found the couch in an abandoned room. Or better, the hero had known about it and lured the villain away from the gala. Once the villain had seen them, their senses had zeroed in on them, completely discarding everything else around them. Their plans, their schemes - all of it was forgotten.

Utterly satisfied, the villain closed their eyes as their hands were ghosting over the hero's clothed back. The warmth, the smell, the love. It was too good to be true. The villain had spent their last nights shaking and freaking out. Rest had not come easily to them. Some time around four in the morning, they had been too exhausted to stay awake.

When the hero hadn't come back, they had been sure they had been killed. It was a miracle to feel them on top of them now.

And the villain wouldn't take their hands off them for a long, long time.

"I love you," the villain whispered against their spouse's neck. "Let's go home."

"I need you first," the hero said. They took the villain's hand that was on their back and moved it further down until the villain grinned.

"Is that so? Do you want me down here?" Their eyes dropped to the hero's lips but something seemed to be off.

The villain knew their spouse's preferences, they knew everything about them and although they appreciated the hero's advances towards them, it was too quick.

Usually, the hero was a talkative person. Someone who wouldn't leave a conflict hanging in mid-air. But today, they had basically thrown themselves at the villain. They were holding onto them as if the villain was the last thing between them and sweet hell.

It was concerning.

"How are you?" the villain asked softly but the hero only replied with rough kisses that seemed more like a cry for help than desire. The villain pushed their spouse away gently. "Hey, how are you?"

"I'm okay, baby."

"What happened?"

"My phone died and I had to work..." the hero said. They thought about something. "It was a longer mission, I'm really sorry."

With a hand on the villain's chest, they pushed them back into the couch and leaned in for another kiss.

But the villain was sort of an expert when it came to lying. Although the villain wanted them, although they really wanted them, the hero’s wellbeing was the most important thing in the world. They knew their spouse hated it. The crying, the cursing — they hated being healed and to some degree, the villain was sure they hated the villain’s powers, too.

Admittedly, the villain hadn’t been a very nice person in the past. Most of the time they'd torture information out of people. Opening wounds and healing them had been one of their many tactics. They couldn’t even tell if they were ashamed of their actions.

"I'm sorry," the villain said. "I'm sorry we fought. I was concerned and angry and...I shouldn't have said those things to you. Whatever happens, we can face it together."

The hero didn't seem that eager anymore. Instead, the villain was pretty sure they could see how glassy their eyes were.

The villain moved their hand slightly. They didn’t need words to understand their hero.

"Can I?" they asked as their hand ghosted over the hero's back once again. The hero looked away. "I know you're scared."

"Please don't be mad."

"You know me better than that," the villain responded. They took the hero's hand and pressed it against their chest. "I need to heal you if you're injured."

"I missed you," the hero said, suddenly heartbroken. "I missed you so much."

They looked like they were about to cry and the villain's heart shattered just as much.

"Is it that bad?" they asked carefully and the hero only nodded as teardrops streamed down their face.

The villain mumbled something close to "oh, honey" and wiped the tears away. Something inside them cracked. Seeing their hero this broken, this vulnerable, was surprising. No villain had ever managed to break them like this.

"Mind if we switch positions?" the villain asked. Their brain was trying to work out who was behind all of this.

Who would do this to their hero?

Other villains knew not to mess with them.

"I don’t want to," the hero said.

"Baby, you’d have to hold yourself up the entire time," the villain said.

"I don't want you to look at it." The villain tried to reach for the bandages under the hero’s clothes with their fingers, just to get a vague idea of what they were dealing with.

"Why not?"

"I think you’d start crying too."

The villain stared at them, eyes wide. And eventually, after five more minutes, both of them knew the hero was right.

[lokisbiiiitch1993]

Nsfw Alphabet - TVA Loki

Not for Minors 🚨⚠️🔞

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

• Smiles fondly at you -enjoys seeing you satisfied and happy

• takes care of you - cleans you up, keeps you hydrated

• cuddling - stroking your Back

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

• his favourite Body Part are for sure his Hands - caressing your Soft Skin , touching you gently, holding your Hand , moving his Hand down your Body

or his Hair - Loki loves when you run your Fingers through his Hair,play with it , massage his Scalp,likes gently Hair pulling

• loves your Eyes - they are soo pretty , look at him and only him

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

• Likes to cum inside or on your Belly

• uses his warm seeds like a lube to tease your sensitive clit

• thinks it's hot when you swallow his cum

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

• loves it when you call him my King or my God

• likes it very much when you are in charge and take care of him ,worship him

• fantasies about new ways to use his Magic on you

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

• Oooohh yessss he knows what he is doing,has a looooot of experience - with every Gender

• has tried a lot of things you couldn't even think of

• but still doesn't rely on it - he wants you to tell him what you exactly like and dislike because every Person is different

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

• prefers Positions where he can look at your Face and see your Reactions

• likes Doggy Style because he loves holding you massaging your Boobs and additionally stimulating your Clit

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

• he is serious and doesn't joke around

• but you still can make him smile and laugh

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He doesn't think much about it, occasionally shaves it - but if you tell him you prefer it clean shaven he will do it more often

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Loki is very soft and romantic

tells you how much he loves you

is most times very gentle and careful with you

would never want to hurt you

lots of kisses, touching

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

• he did it almost daily as you both were not yet together but heavily flirting leaving him a desperate mess

• he doesn't do it often now but when you are away and is missing you or when you are both mad at each other and you are sleeping somewhere else

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

• Praise Kink : he loves when you compliment him - praising him - tell him how good he makes you feel

• enjoys when you beg for him + begging for more

• Bondage

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

• the places where he knows you feel most comfortable, Bed ,Couch,in the Shower, against the Wall,on the Kitchen Table

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

• passionate kisses

•When you take the initiative,make him feel loved and wanted - kiss him hungrily,lick his Neck ,grab his Ass ,sit on his Lap

• wearing revealing Clothes

•watching you take off your clothes

• praise and flirt with him - tell him how proud you are to have him

• Dirty Talk - tell him you don't wear your panties

• taking a Shower together

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

• He doesn't want to hurt you

• Wouldn't cross your Boundaries - he wants you to be comfortable

• will never share you with someone else

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

• enjoys giving you Oral , teasing your Clit ,loves the taste of your sweet juice ,there's nothing more satisfying for him then making you cum hard , having your legs shake and trembling around his head - Expert Level licking Skill- does it well and often

• but also appreciates when you go down on him , teasing him with your Tongue, licking and kissing before taking it all in - deep throating

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

• Depends on his Mood - if he is angry, jealous and impatient he would be for sure fast and rough but usually takes his time slow and deep thrusts

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

• isn't a Fan of Quickies and rather takes his time with you - lot's of Foreplay + overstimulating

• But if you are both horny and have not much time ,he will do it

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Wouldn't risk making you uncomfortable

Doesn't want to hurt you in any way

Loki loves to experiment but not without discussing it with you beforehand

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

• as long as you can keep up - I mean Loki is a God - he can last for a very long time and many rounds

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Blindfolds + Silk Ropes

Would use a Vibrator to overstimulate you

Using a Strap on - on him would be interesting, taking care of him

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

• enjoys teasing you, making you beg

• Orgasm Denial / Overstimulating

• having your Hands tied up so you can't touch him - spoil or use you depends on your Attitude

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

• hearing you moan and scream his Name is a big turn on

• isn't too loud but you can hear him groan and breathe heavily - but hearing him whimper makes you feel things

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

From time to time uses his Magic on you

Shadow Play, Shape shifting,Clones

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Biiig ....I mean come on ,he has Big thick Dick Soft Daddy Energy

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

• normal - isn't horny all the time he can control himself

But if you have a high Sex Drive he will take care of your needs

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It takes him a while to sleep afterwards but loves watching you sleep - caressing your Skin , holding you close

Loki makes sure to satisfy and exhaust you enough- so you would fall asleep easily

Nsfw Masterlist

My Masterlist

[judeswhore]

nsfw alphabet

summary: nsfw alphabet

pairing: levi colwill x fem!reader

warnings: 18+, minors dni

notes: you can find my masterlist here. idk how i feel abt this but ask and u shall receive <3 i hope u enjoy it!!!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

sweetest boy ever! gets a little sleepy but still makes sure ur taken care of before anything else. checks in that ur okay and just has to ask if it was good and ur staring at him all🤨🤨bc ur thighs are still shaking. will grab u water and something clean to change into, helps get u cleaned up and if u want he’ll run u the shower. he likes to just lay with u for a little after, fingers trailing over ur bare skin while he lets u recover, lips soft on ur shoulder while he mutters that he loves u

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partners)

on him he loves his arms just because of how feral u go over them and his tattoos. he’ll find u randomly staring at them throughout the day and he gets so cocky bc he’ll just flex his fingers or biceps and you’ll go all wide eyed and he can see how hot and bothered it gets u. he loves fingering u and feeling u dig ur nails into his forearm and it makes him so hard when ur gaze stays locked on his arm while he works u to ur orgasm but he’s a little shit sometimes so just as ur abt to cum he’ll be all “eyes up here, sweetheart” bc he wants u to look at him

on u he’s obsessed with ur hands and how small they are bc it reminds him how much smaller u are than him and that makes his head spin. he loves holding ur hand and seeing how his just engulfs urs and he’s obsessed w watching u touch him!!! handjobs r one of his favourite things ever and he’ll just sit and watch u work ur fist around him bc there’s something so hot abt how u cant wrap ur fingers completely around him. also he’s 100% and arse man so he’s definitely obsessed w ur arse and he’ll tell u it’s one of his favourite things abt u with no shame. loves fucking in doggy just so he can slap it and watch u get all teary eyed for him🤭🤭

C = Cum (anything to do with cum)

he definitely has a thing for coming on ur pussy/tummy/arse and taking pics of it😵‍💫has an album on his phone specifically for these pics that he looks at whenever ur apart and he’s feeling a little horny. will cum on u and then tell u how pretty and perfect u are and he knows that goes to ur head and he loves it. teases u tho and is so mean w it bc he knows u like when he cums inside of u (and he does too) but if you’ve been a brat or he’s just feeling extra mean even when ur begging him to fill u up he’ll pull out and cum on ur pussy just to see u get all pouty w him

D = Dirty secret (self explanatory, a secret of theirs)

he’s obsessed with fucking u in risky places or places where other people are around. the bathroom at a restaurant/club/friends house u best believe he’s dragging u in there even if it’s just to make u cum on his fingers like there’s just something so stupidly hot to him abt potentially getting caught. he’d be in ur ear the whole time as well talking abt how if ur not quiet someone’s gna come in and see what a dirty slut u are for him while trying his hardest to get u to be even louder w this cocky little smirk on his face. you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve almost been caught

E = Experience (how experienced are they)

in all things u he’s an expert. he made sure to learn every little thing that u like bc the first few times u slept together he was constantly asking u what u wanted from him/how u wanted it bc he wanted the experience to be as good as possible for u. and now he knows u like the back of his hand and can have u coming in record time just by utilising what he knows

F = Favorite position

cowgirl!!! he’s obsessed w getting u to ride him bc he loves watching u struggle to take him at first, hands on ur hips to help u while he tells u how good ur doing and how proud he is of u for taking it all😵‍💫😵‍💫loves having ur tits in his face tbh and will constantly be sucking on ur nipples and biting at ur skin bc he knows that’ll get u to finish quicker. and it gives him some sort of kick watching u get all tired and whiney, asking him to “just fuck me properly, levi. please” and then he’ll hold u still while he fucks up into u bc ofc he’ll take care of his best girl

G = Goofy (are they more serious or goofy in the moment?)

definitely a little goofy but it’s more bc he tries to make u feel as comfortable as possible and that comes out as him making little jokes to get u to laugh and relax for him. feel like he gets a little giggly sometimes while ur fucking bc you’ll make a certain noise or he will and it’ll have him hiding his face in ur neck while he tries to get it together. but his giggles will bleed into soft moans and u think it sounds so hot so ur always looking to make him laugh just to hear it

H = Hair (how well groomed are they)

keeps it all nice and neatly trimmed but it’s not really something he puts a load of effort into bc it’s hair it’s not a big deal to him

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment?)

all of his focus is on u and he makes sure that u get as much pleasure out of the experience as possible. foreplay is a huge deal for him bc he wants to get u all worked up and desperate for him and wants to make sure you’ve came at least once/twice before he fucks u bc he knows it’s sometimes a little difficult for u to cum from just penetration. and throughout the whole thing he’ll be talking u through it, praising u so much bc it’s important to him that u know how much he’s enjoying it and that u know how good ur doing for him

J = Jack Off (masturbation headcanon)

i feel like he’s a big fan of mutual masterbation🤭so he’ll sit opposite u on the bed or wtv and will get himself off while u touch urself and it drives him insane. doesn’t know where he wants to look more so his eyes are constantly bouncing over ur body and he’ll talk u through it, telling u how to touch urself and how fast to go while he’s moaning and fucking his own fist

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

idrk but i feel like he definitely has a thing for letting u take control every now and then like loves when u tie him to the bed and use him for ur own pleasure. he’s obsessed w cowgirl at the best of times but when u tie his hands back and just fuck him so slow he goes absolutely insane. loves hearing u call him a good boy and it takes everything in him not to cum on the spot when u do. also loves when u suck him off and tell him he can’t touch u bc you’ll tease him until he’s literally shaking and begging bc he needs to cum and then you’ll give him ur pretty little smile and tell him to “be patient” and it has him losing his mind

L = Location (favourite places to do the deed)

he’s obsessed w fucking in the car while it’s parked in stupidly risky places bc he can’t get over how hot the risk of it is. like he’ll just randomly pull over and park somewhere so u can fuck and there’ll be other cars around and it just makes it all so much more thrilling for him and it means whenever he’s in the car alone he can play out all the times you’ve spent together in there

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

he loves neck/jaw kisses and even if u do it with the intention of being innocent levi will still go a little silly. he’ll just grip ur hip a little harder and give this quiet little groan and it always makes u giggle bc it’s so simple? and here he is abt to lose his mind. he’s definitely the type as well to get turned on by a specific perfume u own bc it reminds him of a certain time u fucked so whenever u wear it and walk passed him he’s immediately hard bc now he’s thinking abt all those dirty memories

N = No (something they wouldn’t do)

he’s too sweet to do anything that wld hurt u so even if he’s a little rough and a little mean sometimes he’d never cross a line that wld really cause u pain. even when he’s slapping ur arse whenever he hears a little sob or sees u wince a little harder than normal he’s immediately stopping and shifting to press kisses to the skin while mumbling little apologies :(

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving)

he really likes receiving bc u give the best head he’s ever had. u love teasing and drawing it out as long as possible until he’s literally shaking and can’t stay still so when he finally cums it feels 100x better. loves when u wake him up w head too!!!! like it’s his favourite thing in the world and he’s always extra sensitive so just gives these soft little whimpers that drive u crazy. he still loves eating u out tho and wld do it for hours (and he definitely drags it out when he does) but there’s just something abt being in ur mouth that absolutely ruins him

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

depends on the mood tbf. he loves a quickie (will literally fuck u anywhere at any time if given the chance) but also slow and loving is so so important to him!! especially if you’ve been apart for a little while he just really wants to take his time with u and drag everything out for as long as possible with u. so many kisses while he’s fucking u so slow, fingers stroking ur cheek while he mutters over and over that he’s missed u :(( eye contact is huge! for him so he’ll just grip ur chin and be all “eyes on me, sweetheart” and it just makes it so much more intense

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often)

loves them!!!! again, any time, any place. loves summer time so he can see u in ur pretty little dresses and he can just bend u over wherever he can, pull ur underwear to the side and fuck u stupid🤭the amount of times he’s fucked u in a changing room is insane bc he just can’t help himself when u look so pretty doing a little fashion show for him. just presses u up against the wall, hand over ur mouth to keep u quiet while he fucks u from behind. or like in the car before an event/meeting friends? he’s sooo down for it. just pulls u into his lap to ride him and it’s always so obvious when u finally go meet whoever u have plans with bc u both look so disheveled and fucked out

R = Risk (are they game to experiment, do they take risks)

loves experimenting with new things bc how else is he gna know what he likes? like the two of u have had so many conversations abt all the different things you’d like to try and he definitely has a list that youse check things off on. and he’s huge on fucking in risky places bc it’s just so hot to him!!! gets off on fucking u in semi public places while making u bite down on ur own underwear to keep quiet🤭

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)

he’s insatiable tbf. he just gets into such a headspace that he can never just go for one round he needs to go for a least three before he even thinks abt giving u a break. mainly just bc he likes seeing u so wrecked and on the point of breaking bc he thinks u look so pretty like that🤭his favourite thing is to eat u out between rounds of fucking u bc then he gets to drag so many orgasms out of u and gets such a thrill out of seeing u all limp and fucked out on his bed

T = Toy (do they own toys? do they use them?)

he’s obsessed w toys!!!! loves using them on u and then mocking u abt how much it ruins u. i just have this idea of him loving those little remote control vibrators🤭🤭like u have one that he can control w his phone and he uses it whenever the two of u go to events or restaurants bc u both just love the thrill of it. he’ll just sit opposite u at the table all smirks while he’s controlling it and it gets him so worked up trying to see u keep ur cool and every time u get close to coming he switches it off just to watch u pout and whine. bonus points for if the waiter is obviously flirting with u he’ll switch it up to the highest speed to watch u struggle and get all high pitched

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he’s awful when it comes it teasing to the point he sometimes has u crying bc u can’t take anymore. he just loves drawing things out bc he knows the end result will be so good even if ur getting frustrated w him. and in public he absolutely loves giving u little ass slaps or whispering dirty things in ur ear just to get u to squirm and sooooo many times he’ll try and get u off while ur sitting next to him but stops before u get anywhere near finishing while acting like nothings happening. and he knows u get all hot and bothered abt his hands so he’ll purposely do things to flex them and show them off then gets all cocky when he sees the way ur looking at him

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

oh he’s loud. and whiney. so so whiney. is always in ur ear giving u so much praise and babbling that he loves u and gets a little higher in pitch when he’s abt to cum and it’s just so so hot. loves to talk u through literally everything and whenever he talks u through head/handjobs it gets u soooo worked up bc he just sounds so hot

W = Wild Card (get a random headcanon for the person of your choice)

he loves taking polaroids during sex and has a whole photo album stuffed in his bottom draw that’s just full of dirty pictures. like he has a select few videos/pics on his phone that he looks at when he’s away but he mainly uses polaroids bc he just thinks it’s so much hotter? u can tell which pictures are his favourites too bc the corners are a little more rough and bent where he’s tugged them out. he also keeps one in his wallet tucked just behind one of his cards that he peeks at every now and then when no one’s paying attention and it’s a full shot of ur tits and face, covered in cum while ur grinning up at him and it’s genuinely one of his favourite pictures ever

X = X-Ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

big. thick. it took a while to get used to his size and u still struggle to take all of him sometimes, especially if u haven’t had sex in a while but he always talks u through it and makes sure u know how good ur doing. strokes his fingers over ur cheek and peppers u in kisses while being all “just a bit more, sweetheart, i know u can take the rest f’me. good girl, look how well ur doing. knew u could take it all”

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

he’s horny all the time. he wants to fuck u all the time and it only gets worse when you’ve been apart for a few days. the second ur home he just has to have u bc it’s all he’s been thinking abt and he’ll just be kissing u senseless, burying himself completely into u while repeatedly mumbling little “missed you”s into ur skin

Z = ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

sooo quickly bc he’s always so wrecked afterwards. he’ll help get u cleaned up and make sure ur okay but then he’s begging for cuddles and he’s already letting his eyes fall closed. will just pull u into him or will flop down on top of u and be all “just gimme ten minutes” but u know for a fact he’s gna have a full blown nap. it’s why he absolutely loves middle of the night sex bc it completely knocks him out

[mm-lurking]

Russian Roulette of Poison - Aventurine

A business deal, lies and a poisoned wine glass is how you find yourself in Aventurine’s arms, crying bitter tears of pain. A/N: I started playing Penacony and met Aventurine. Had some ideas brewing so here you go.

Warnings: Aventurine x fem! reader, angst drama and tension, I made up half of the stuff I say here, its all fanon, there is no logic only feelings

WC: 2356 — It’s another grand night in the magnificent land of dreams, Penacony. The Dreamscape Hotel is bustling with the most renowned guests and exquisite catering befitting for such a place. Everything glimmers and dazzles from the floor to the ceiling, there is a joyous melody playing in the background and the most unique conversations you have heard. But none of that matters to you as you sit at the far end of the lobby anxiously observing Aventurine, your situationship, and that lady next to him. From your position, you can only make out their figures but it is enough to make you nervous.

You massage your temples as you ponder on what is going on between them. Aventurine stands in front of the bar with a hand in his pocket and a wine glass in another with a smug smile on his face as he converses with that lady. Judging from her pose, she seems to be relaxed and friendly almost as if Aventurine was a long-lost friend she had reunited with at Penacony. Judging from her clothes, she seems to be someone of high status and wealth. Your head starts to throb as you dig through your mind and try to figure out where you had seen her before. She looked so familiar but why couldn’t you figure out who she was?

There’s a saying that goes: trust your gut. Trust your intuition for it tells you something is wrong before you even realise so. And right now your gut was sending you signals that something wasn’t right about the conversation between those two. That you had to interfere and see for yourself what was going on. In this land of dreams, even the brightest smiles hold sinister intentions and you knew for yourself you couldn’t trust anyone wholeheartedly here.

So you make up your mind and slowly walk over to them both, the bright lights shining over you as you move from the darkness of your corner back into the dazzling atmosphere of the hotel. Your eyes are fixated on the lady this time as she grabs two wine glasses off the counter and pours sparkling wine into them. Just like everything else in this room, the wine fizzes and reflects the light of the gleaming chandeliers in the room. Your eyes narrow immediately as she pours the wine into his glass; the subtle yet obvious change in the liquid immediately alerts you it's poisoned.

To your surprise, Aventurine casually just takes the glass and swirls it around, smiling at the woman while doing so. Now, you didn’t doubt his abilities -of course not! There is a reason he had earned the notorious reputation he has today. If life was a poker table, he always had a royal flush in his decks. Even if the odds weren’t in his favour he always found a way to turn the tables. Life was a grand gamble and he would always be the final victor, the one with the most chips and most wins at the table. Only a fool would misjudge a mastermind such as Aventurine.

But this was different. You were almost certain he didn’t know his wine was poisoned. To the untrained eye, the wine would appear as normal but to you, an expert in toxicology, it was obvious as hell. Years of forensics and cleaning up murders meant you were often able to predict danger before it unfolded.

“Don’t drink it..!”

Before you register your actions, you are already standing in front of Aventurine and the guest as you tightly grip his wine glass and look at him in panic. He glances at you momentarily with a confused look before shaking his head.

“It is rude to stop me from consuming a drink that was especially poured for me don’t you think?”

“My my, who do we have here? Care to introduce her, Aventurine?”

The woman interrupts your conversation and you turn to look at her, nervously fidgeting with your hands as you think of what to say. She doesn’t look angry but the way her eyes narrow slightly implies she isn’t too happy either.

“Oh her? I coincidentally ran into her at Penacony. She occasionally works with the IPC if contracted.”

Aventurine answers for you and you blink at him before quickly nodding. No, you both being here in Penacony was not a coincidence; he had brought you here with him given your…special relationship with him. The woman smirks and lifts her wine glass higher, swirling it intently before staring right into your eyes.

“And this friend of yours has quite the nerve to interrupt us so rudely don’t you think, Aventurine?”

“The guests on Penacony are always a handful.”

He replies and you sigh quietly. Of course, he wouldn’t really take your side just because you both were into each other. You weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend, but not exactly just friends either. Friends don’t kiss each other secretively while passing in the corridors. And friends definitely don’t spend the night together every few days. Keeping your complicated relationship status aside, business was business and right now you looked like a fool interrupting their conversation like this.

“The wine is poisoned Aventurine. Don’t drink it.”

You ignore the way they both take jabs at you and glance at Aventurine. You tightly grip his wine glass and try to take it away, but it doesn’t budge. The laugh the woman lets out in disbelief makes you turn your attention to her as she stares at you and scoffs.

“Poisoned? Are you out of your mind?”

“I saw it myself.”

“You saw the wine being poisoned? In this room full of people?”, she stretches her free hand and motions around the room at the bustling atmosphere surrounding you three. There were already eyes on you from the beginning and now more people were starting to look in your direction from the way the guest loudly spoke. Embarrassment creeps in and you feel yourself turning pink from the awkwardness of the situation. Regardless, you stay resolute and repeat your thoughts.

“I remember what I saw very well, madam. My eyes do not lie.”

You look straight into her eyes and she rolls them, clearly outraged by your accusations.

“You have quite the audacity to assume I would poison the wine of my dear guest so publicly.”

Aventurine watches quietly and seeing how neither of you were backing down he tries to calm down the tension.

“Hey, let's not go there now-“

“How about this, friend of Aventurine, since you don’t believe me, why don’t I drink the wine myself to prove to you that the wine isn’t poisoned?”

She cuts Aventurine off and smiles at you slyly as she raises her glass high in the air and takes a large sip of the wine. You nervously gulp as she pushes the glass away from her lips and looks at you.

“See? Nothing happened at all. You are embarrassing yourself.”

“But-”

“Enough. You’re humiliating yourself now. Everyone is looking at us, friend.”

Aventurine hisses into your ears and you feel your heart drop at the lack of his understanding of you. The shame and discomfort causes tears to form in your eyes and you harshly gulp, unwilling to show your weakness. Whispers and chuckles erupt in the air as you hear people talking about you and pointing fingers at you but you shake your head and focus on the situation at hand.

The woman keeps talking, insulting your intelligence and common sense but you’re too focused on your thoughts to fully register anything. You rack your brain as you try to think about how to prove yourself. It doesn’t take too long for you to figure out another path. Right, that must be it. If he wasn’t going to believe you then-

Without a word, you snatch Aventurine’s glass forcefully and take a sip of his wine. He is unable to stop you in time as the sparkling wine runs down your throat and the instant you swallow the liquid a bitter burning sensation sets in your throat.

-you would have to prove yourself in the most extreme way possible. Just as you suspected, it wasn’t the wine but the glass itself that was laced with poison. It was not strong enough to kill you immediately but not weak enough to set in slowly either. You stop momentarily and stare at the glass before gulping down the rest of it completely.

The average person would assume that the bitterness in their throat was the result of the strong wine; continuing to take slow sips throughout the party and allowing the small yet steady dosage of the drug to cause harm. This way the perpetrator wouldn’t be traced back so easily among the various servers, bartenders and guests. Yet you drinking the wine down in one go meant only one thing.

“!!!”

Aventurine stares in horror as the wine glass shatters on the floor and you fall along with it, choking and gasping for air. Loud gasps echo in the room as people watch everything unfold. You feel nauseous and an overwhelming amount of pain in your body from how the poison sets in so rapidly. Blood drips out of your mouth as you cough and tears follow. He quickly drops down to your level and takes you into his arms as he hurriedly observes you. The look of horror soon turns into full-blown anger as he looks back up at the guest, who is now smiling evilly without saying a word.

“You-!”

His voice is laced with frustration and shock; though he wants to say more, nothing comes out of his mouth. You don’t ever remember seeing Aventurine this mad. How his eyebrows knit together and his eyes are illuminated with fury as he stares at the guest makes you mentally chuckle even in such a state.

“A fool should never interfere in the wiseman’s plans.”

The guest completely ignores Aventurine and looks straight at you while speaking before scoffing and walking away. Aventurine wishes to run after her but he reconsiders when you weakly stroke his arm to stop him. He looks back at you with a sad smile as he tries to help you.

“A-Aventurine-“

“Silly girl. What on earth made you do that?”

You foolishly smile back at him and attempt to take a deep breath which makes you cough harshly.

“You never trusted me…even at the moment you didn’t believe in me…” His eyes widen and he exhales slowly. You both had a rocky relationship since the beginning. In between the romance and intimacy, there was a gaping hole regarding the emotional connection and understanding of each other. The trust you had in each other wasn’t firm and he definitely didn’t trust you as much as you trusted him.

“I…”

He doesn’t know what to say. He’s still processing his emotions as his gaze flickers back and forth between you body and the spilled wine. Seeing you like this deeply hurts him but he knows he hasn’t been the best man to you. Had he had faith in you and listened to your intuition, would you still have ended up like this?

“Anything for you Aventurine…anything…even if you don’t love me as much as I-“

“Don't. Please.”

He had never lost a gamble or a bet. Everything and everyone in his eyes was a chip at the table, a token to take a risk with to go big or go home. But tonight, his favourite chip was at the losing end and nothing could turn the bet back into his favour. You can hear his rapid breathing as he calls for backup and help all while trying to keep an eye on you. He couldn’t appear weak, even in such a position, he couldn’t show others how tightly his fist was clenched underneath the table.

He continues to hold onto you tightly, shouting orders and clearing the crowd to get you medical assistance. His panicked voice is all you remember before your eyes shut close and your breathing becomes almost undetectable. – In a quiet corridor, away from the main hall of the hotel, the guest dials her top contact and patiently waits. Once the line connects, she exhales.

“The job is done.”

A small laugh is heard over the guest’s phone after she speaks. She can hear the loud rustling of papers and items on the man’s desk before he replies.

“Good.”

“Despite the memory loss induced in her, it seems she still hasn’t learnt her lesson.”

“Oh?”

“Same foolish woman. Even after such a tragedy her mind still does the same pattern of behaviour that got her in trouble.”

“She didn’t remember you at all, Sapphire?”

“No sir.”

“Good.”

A moment of silence follows. Sapphire inhales slowly, wondering if she should speak her mind. After all, she was the guest Aventurine had been talking too and just like him; another member of the Ten Stonehearts. Regardless of their differences of opinion, he was still a colleague.

“You have something on your mind. Say it.”

“Sir…what about Aventurine?”

“He won’t know a thing. Besides, what happened to that girl is none of his concern.”

“..right.”

The call ends with a click and the man sighs as he places the handset back into the receiver. Besides the telephone, his nameplate glistens on the table glitters like the very gem he is named after, a Diamond. He rubs his temples and frowns as he recalls your case from seven years ago.

“Looks like you have caught on our little trick, infiltrator of the IPC. You were found in the wrong time and the wrong place. Lucky for you, your forensic skills are too excellent to throw away.”

“Can’t answer me? That is fine. Besides, I have no choice but to cause a slight corruption in your memory. Such a shame, Sapphire and you would have made good friends. A little electric shock is all you’re going to need and we will overlook your charges.”

“Oh my, fighting back are we? Don’t worry, there will be nothing left to fight for once we are done with you.” ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ©mm-lurking 2024 do not copy, steal or reuse my work.

[searchingsomewhere]

Nero's 50 Follower Special: JJK Headcannons!

Here's some of my SFW + NSFW headcannons for JJK! Plus, a bonus: the guy's favorite positions.

Asks are welcome! Visit my masterlist for more stuff I've written. :)

[Rated M below the cut. Minors Do Not Interact]

Kento Nanami

Is a really big rom com guy. He loves watching movies at home with her. The Notebook is a favorite.

Loves kids. He wants to get married and have a few, but doesn't want to raise them in the Jujustu world.

Loves cooking. He's definitely the chef in the relationship, and he cooks for his friends, too.

Definitely is shy being intimate at first, but I think once he's comfortable, he's a lot kinkier than you'd think.

Using his tie as a leash is especially something that gets him going, especially when he's going down on her.

His favorite position is cowgirl, especially if he's sitting up, so he can watch her bounce on his cock.

Satoru Gojo

Frequently gets migraines because of his Six Eyes. His blindfold and blacked out glasses helps to nullify it.

Is big into social media, but usually lurks. He likes to troll people online and frequently gets death threats from randos. Laughs about it.

Always takes his students out to eat after missions. He didn't have a strong adult presence as a child because he was super independent, so he actively tries to be there for all his students.

Is definitely a switch. With some people he comes off as more dominate in the bedroom, but with the right person he's putty in their hands.

Loves to leave hickeys, especially in places people will see. His favorite place to mark is the neck and chest.

Loves going down. This man is starved. Making out with her cunt is what he fantasizes about on the daily. He pumps his cock or grinds into the bed to the sound of her moaning.

Suguru Geto

A country boy at heart. He loves being out in the countryside, even though it brings back hard memories of his village.

Is a whiskey expert. One of the ways he enjoys winding down after a long day is to smoke a cigarette and have a glass of whiskey on the rocks while he sits by the window.

Loves to read. His apartment is full of novels from all over the world, and he even taught his girls how to read.

Is dominant by nature. Had a few threesomes in his life and he's always in charge.

Is the type to hold her face in his hands while someone else fucks her and makes her beg for his cock in her mouth.

The best way to make him cum quick is to pull his hair while he's plunging his cock deep inside her.

Toji Fushiguro

Is a pretty good handyman. When his wife was alive, he handled all of the house maintenance.

Likes sports, especially baseball. He used to take Megumi to games when he could, and he's always watching sports in his free time.

Has some intimacy issues since his wife passed. He's also not one to talk about personal feelings.

Is 100% rough in bed. This man is a beast in the streets and the sheets. He needs a girl that can really handle it.

Loves slapping her; her face, her tits, her pussy. Not hard enough to really hurt, but the degradation is so hot for him. He wants her to be his slut.

His favorite position is the mating press. He can't keep his fingers off her clit when he's jackhammering into her.

Choso Kamo

A night owl who hasn't gotten good sleep in years. He prefers staying up and working late and sleeping during the day.

Definitely has some peircings; either his nipples or navel or both. He has a ton of ear peircings and likes wearing uneven earrings.

He enjoys playing video games on console with Yuji. His favorite types of video games are Jrpgs and fighting games, but he's also very good at rhythm games.

Submissive as hell. He'll be rough if she demands it, though, and he relishes in being praised for doing as he's told.

Loves being handled rough; Smack him, choke him, bite him, he's all for it. His favorite is hearing how good he's making her feel and how much he's filling her up.

Favorite position is 69. Especially if it starts with her riding his face and ends with his cock being worshipped.

[avastrasposts]

A Baker's Dozen - Five

Twelve Pedro boys, twelve stand alone short stories, all set in the same bakery.

Hello!

A surprise early drop of part five! I didn't want this gentleman to be lost among the Christmas cheer on Sunday night so please enjoy him a couple of days early.

This man was the one that most intimidated me to write, and I think that's true for most of us. Luckily my dear friend @morallyinept is an expert on the subject of this particular Pedro boy, and beta read it. Thank you so much Jett, your encouragement makes this a lot less scary!

Please say hello to Pedro boy number five...

Series Master List

It’s not the first time you’ve seen him in your bakery. Sometimes, when you have your extra staffer in over the weekend to handle the crowds, you’ve seen him waiting in line. Somehow he always comes in when you’re not at the counter, or dealing with another customer, but when you glance out through the open kitchen door, you spot him. More than once. And he’s always watching you, dark brown eyes, curious, intelligent, carefully watching. It intrigues you, and it scares you. 

He’s easy to recognise, the bright blonde patch of hair over his forehead makes him memorable, if nothing else. But the way he stands, the weight of his body on one leg, leaning forward onto it while he tilts his head and observes you through the open door with a wry smirk. It makes you think of a trickster, a smooth talker who will smile and charm you with his words while he tries to sell you real estate on the moon. Your eyes meet and he grins, holding up his hand in a nonchalant greeting. You let your eyes glide over him, ignoring his wave as if you didn’t see him, busy looking for a pan or a bowl. 

He comes in the next day again, you catch him from the corner of your eye as he steps up to the counter, just as you come out of the fridge. He doesn’t see you this time you think, so you hurry out of sight and go back to measuring flour into the large mixer. Through the door you can hear him talk to the high schooler you’ve got handling the Saturday afternoon rush. 

“Afternoon, may I ask after the proprietor of this fine bakery?” the man says, and his southern accent is eloquent in a way that reminds you of old films, theatrical and exaggerated, you can hear the smirk in his tone. In your mind he sweeps an old fashioned hat off his head and bows like the ringmaster at the circus. It puts your teeth on edge and you hope to escape his attention. 

“She’s busy right now but I’ll see if she has time,” your highschooler says and you sigh, waving your hand no when they come into the kitchen 

“I’m sorry, she’s right in the middle of something, can I take a message?” 

“No bother, I’ll stop by later, I have a proposal to the lady that’s best delivered in person.” 

You hear him say goodbye and then the door jingles and the hum of the afternoon rush continues as you turn on the big dough mixer, drowning out all else. You wonder what kind of proposal the man could have for you, his response was almost as if he was preparing a sale. The thought calms you and annoys you a little, dealing with insistent sales people was your least favorite activity as a business owner. There was always someone trying to sell you a new mixer or a new oven. You hope he doesn’t come back, but at least you know how to brush off a sales person if needed. 

He doesn’t come back until Tuesday, when you’re alone in the bakery, just before closing. The door jingles and you look up, seeing his smile as he steps across the threshold. 

“Afternoon,” he says, coming up to the counter, giving you a gallant nod in greeting, “I was hoping to catch you at a more quiet time, seeing as the end of the day draws near. I hope my interference doesn’t disrupt your day too greatly and cause you disturbance.” 

His smile sits fixed on his face, as if rehearsed to look polite and genuine, to sell you something. 

It’s hard to press back your customer service persona, so you give him a polite smile, internally you’re gearing up to be courteous but dismissive. 

“How can I help you?” you ask, and his smile widens into a grin as he tilts his head to the side and looks at you. 

“I’m in the market for a special type of treat, one which I hope you’ll indulge me in making,” he holds out his left hand to you, “I’m Ezra, and I really hope you can help me, miss…?” 

You take his hand and awkwardly shake it, ignoring his question, but your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. You’d been so certain he’d try to sell you something, you hadn’t considered that he’d be the one asking you to sell him something special even though special requests weren’t a rare thing. 

“If it’s doable and I know how to make it, I’m sure we can come up with something,” you reply and he nods his head.

“Oh, I’ll pay, handsomely, of course,” 

“What did you have in mind?” you ask, and his smile stretches even further, making his teeth show, and you balk, a tinge of unease shooting up your spine. In the back of your mind you’re reminded of the poem; ‘Will you walk into my parlour, said a spider to a fly.’ There’s a layer of something underneath that smile that unnerves you.

“A sentimental old favorite of mine, chocolate soufflé,” he says, his eyes suddenly slipping into softness as he seems to look past you, “Light, airy, rich and velvety.” 

He waves his hand as if he’s conjuring the dessert out of thin air, a dreamy look on his face that’s quickly replaced by his grin as he turns his attention back to you. 

“It’s an arduous dessert to master, only the most skilled bakers can create it. Are you skilled, sugar?” 

You give him a scowl, you’ve heard every pet name in the book vaguely related to baking by now and none of them sit well with you. 

He catches on to your scowl and chuckles, “Not ‘sugar’ then,” he grins as you put your smallest customer service smile back on. 

“I can make soufflé but I won’t be able to sell them here,” you explain, shaking your head. “They’re too delicate and need to be served and eaten straight out of the oven. But I’m sure there’s restaurants who have soufflé on the menu.”

Ezra shakes his head with a rueful look,”I’m afraid I’ve tried that route, but none of the restaurants in town have exactly what I desire on the menu, and they won’t make it as a special order. So my hope lies with you, cookie.” 

He chuckles again when he sees the flash of annoyance at the pet name, his eyes crinkling at the corners, his smile suddenly looking genuine, “If you’d told me your name when I introduced myself I would gladly use that instead of causing an umbridge with my embarrassing choices of guesses.” 

You ignore his comment about your name, feeling even less inclined to give it to him, and instead you begin wiping down the counter for the end of the day. 

“I’m sorry none of the restaurants have it, but I’m afraid I can’t help you, I can’t make the soufflé and then wait for you to come in, it would be flat and dull and I couldn’t sell you that.” 

“I’m sure you observed, because I’ve observed you in turn, several times, that I’ve been studying you,” Ezra says, his eyes narrowing as he gives you a charming smile, cocking his head to the side and leaning against the counter on his left side, watching you run the cloth over the display cases. 

“You’re the most talented baker I’ve seen in all my travels, all you sell here, you make with your own gifted hands,” he waves his hand around the bakery, “And I’ve sampled many of your delectable delights, nothing rivals what you can bake, cupcake.” 

His words make your cheeks heat up against your will as you glare at the pet name and he smiles back at you. . 

“It won’t change the physics of the soufflé though,” you point out, “it will still fall flat if it’s out of the oven waiting for the customer.” 

“Well, crumpet, I have a remedy for that, I have thought of it all. You make it for me while I wait, right here, after hours,” he says, leaning forward when he sees your doubtful face. He takes the cloth from your hand, stilling your movement as he wraps his fingers around yours, just tight enough for you not to be able to just yank them away. His eyes closer to yours now, imploring you to hear him out, and you don’t fail to note that his expression shifts into something more innocent, his brown eyes wide open, forehead pulled up as he pleads with you

“Please, truly, it may only be a soufflé to you, but it really does mean an awful lot to me, to be able to have this dessert again, to remind me of better days, happier times.” 

His fingers squeeze yours gently while he talks, “I lost my arm, a while back now, in a mining accident,” he says, looking down to his right hand side where you only now notice that his jacket sleeve hangs limp, “I used to love to bake, but I can’t anymore, on account of my…condition.”  

“I’m sorry to hear that,” you reply politely and Ezra nods again.

“It’s been a while now, I’m getting used to navigating life without it,” he says, shrugging his shoulders, “But I can’t bake, not like I used to, not something that requires two stable hands.”

He lets go of you and stands up, grabbing the empty sleeve of his jacket and lifts it up, “Imagine if this happened to you,” he says, giving the sleeve a frustrated tug as his voice gains an edge of annoyance, “Imagine if you, from one cursed day to the next, not only lost your ability to do your job, but also your ability to perform the most entertaining of tasks.” 

You feel your resolve slipping, he’s turned his eyes back on yours and falls silent, for what feels like for the first time since he stepped into the shop. His hand is on the counter between you, open, like he’s waiting for you to take it and shake on your agreement, and his eyes are imploring, his eyebrows raised. 

Like this he looks less like a trickster, the facade has slipped a bit, or maybe he’s pulled a new one up, you feel like you can’t be sure. You glance down at his empty sleeve and make up your mind, you’d be devastated if you couldn’t bake again. 

“Ok, I’ll make your soufflé, any way you want it,” you say, taking his hand, and Ezra’s face breaks into a wide smile. 

“Thank you, bon bon! Your kind gesture makes me most hopeful for the future, there are still good people in this world, prepared to help a poor, armless, man.” 

“Enough with the names,” you give him a small scowl, but you can’t help but smile at the same time, his own smiling, face seems genuine, honestly happy for your service. 

“Such a sweet baker lady has to have a name that matches the sweetness of her produce, jelly pie,” he chuckles, “I’ll keep trying them out until I find the one that sticks.” 

“If I hear one I like I’ll let you know, just don’t hold your breath,” you reply, but you’re smiling at him now and he seems less wiley with the change of his demeanor, more straightforward, as he runs his hand through his hair and grins at you. 

“So when do you want to do this? And what kind of chocolate soufflé do you want?” you ask, pulling out your notebook. 

“I once went to a small restaurant in France, a tiny little village, somewhere in the mountains north of Cannes,” he says, “and the chef would cover the bottom of the ramekin with caramel, sprinkle it with sal de mer before he poured in the chocolate and then finish with a little bit more just on top.” His hand makes a sprinkling movement over the top of the imaginary soufflé ramekin. “It was inspired, divine,” Ezra smiles at you, an excited gleam in his eyes, that you recognise all too well. “I asked him for the recipe and he was benevolent enough to make a gift of it to me, a small souvenir of a joyous visit and happier times.” 

Something in the way he says the last words, a slight slip in the excitement, a flash of something darker across his face, makes you open your mouth. But you close it again as his eyes brighten, the smile comes back up in place and he looks at you. 

“I had to translate the recipe into English of course, and now I have it memorized, from all the times I made it myself.” 

“Let me make a list then, and I’ll get the ingredients for next week, how about next Tuesday night? Does that work for you?” you ask and Ezra nods. 

“Any day would suit me, shortcake,” he grins and you roll your eyes, “But if it’s not too much trouble, I would prefer an earlier day? Maybe tomorrow even? And I’ll help you make it, as long as you have the ingredients?” 

You glance over at your calendar, you have nothing planned for tomorrow night and you’ll have time to get the ingredients into your usual weekly order tonight.

“It’ll be tight, but I think I can make it work, if I place the order straight away. Unless there’s something special in the recipe I should have all the ingredients already, eggs, cocoa and chocolate,” you list the items on your fingers, thinking out loud, “oh, I should get some extra cream.”  

“This chef used milk instead of cream,” Ezra interjects, “he said it made for a lighter soufflé.” 

“Ok, that’s fine, I’ve made them with milk in the past,” you nod, tapping your pen as you think and Ezra studies you, you can feel his eyes on you as his mouth quirks up in a small smile. 

“I do enjoy seeing you entranced by baking,” he says, “your attention to detail in the kitchen has kept me captivated while watching you work.” 

“I saw you, and I’ve got to say, kinda creepy to be watching people like that,” you reply and his eyebrows immediately pull together in an apologetic frown. 

“My apologies, sweet cannoli, but I was truly enwrapped by your work, your skill, I didn’t mean to be unsettling.” He reaches out and puts his hand on yours again, giving it a light squeeze as he leans forward, finding your eyes and searching them to make sure you accept his apology, “I truly am very sorry.” 

“It’s fine, just come in and say hello next time,” you reply, “and never call me ‘cannoli’ again.” The last thing you say with a roll of your eyes and Ezra laughs. 

“I didn’t think that one would stick, didn’t have much of a ring to it.” 

He gives your hand a last squeeze and lets go of it, raising his own in a wave. 

“Until tomorrow then, jelly,” he says and you give him a mock scowl that makes him grin wide, “Not ‘jelly’ either then,” he chuckles, “I’ll think of some new ones for tomorrow.” 

“No pet names necessary, Ezra,” you tell him, but he shakes his head. 

“No, no, you won’t tell me your name, now I make up my own, I will find the perfect one before we’re done. Until tomorrow, muffin.” 

“Absolutely not,” you call after him, “But I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Ezra gives you a final grin before he exits and you see him walk off down the street. 

He appears again the next day, just before closing like the last time, giving you a polite nod and waiting by the door as you serve your last customer of the day. As the woman leaves, he steps forwards and gives you what feels like a genuine smile, unlike the rehearsed one he’d greeted you with yesterday.

“My sweet cream puff, I have been looking forward to this all day, I’ve been dreaming about finally eating this chocolate soufflé again,” he says, putting his hand on your arm and giving it a light squeeze. His hair looks freshly washed and cut, as does his patchy beard, and he brings a faint smell of cologne into the bakery. With his warm smile and neater appearance, he doesn’t look at all like the unnerving man you’d observed watching you the past few days, and you feel yourself relaxing. 

“Cream puff?” you laugh, “Better, but still not acceptable, Ezra.” 

“I have all evening to get it right,” he grins and holds up a take out bag, “I thought we could perhaps have dinner and not sustain ourselves only on soufflé, delectable as it may be. If that’s not too forward of me?” He says the last thing with his eyebrows raised in question and you shake your head. 

“Not at all, dinner would be nice, I’m getting a little bit hungry already.” 

“Then may I suggest dinner first, and then I get to enjoy the evening’s entertainment; watching you make the soufflé?” 

“Sounds like a plan, let me get some cutlery and glasses and we can eat out here,” you say. As you walk back into the kitchen, you can’t help but smile to yourself. This strange man is growing on you, his smooth southern drawl makes his flowery language work, and you have to admit, he scrubs up well, with his curls and his bright blonde patch. 

When you return with plates and cutlery, Ezra has set the take out on one of the café tables and is struggling with the knot on the plastic bag. You see the annoyance in his face as he tugs at the tight knot, digging his nails into it to get a grip, but failing as the plastic moves under his one hand. The sight fills you with empathy and you’re suddenly very glad you agreed to make him the soufflé. 

He hears your footsteps as you approach and he looks up, “It would seem the plastic bag has me beat,” he sighs, “I wanted to have it all laid out for you as you returned, after all, you’re doing all the baking later, the least I could do is lay the table. But not even that is something I can manage these days with…” He jerks his head in annoyance at the empty sleeve of his jacket and sighs. 

“It’s no bother,” you say, giving him a warm smile to put him at ease, and it seems to work. He smiles back at you, his brown eyes crinkling at the corners and you notice the dimple in his cheek under the patchy beard as he takes a step to the side, letting you put down the plates and cutlery.

“It’s why I agreed to bake the soufflé for you, I’m more than happy to help.” You untie the bag and lift out the containers as Ezra lays the table, taking meticulous care to line up the plates and the cutlery on either side, finding a few napkins and arranging them too. You go behind the counter to get rid of the bag and when you come back, Ezra has pulled out your chair for you and is waiting behind it with a smile. 

“I know this is purely a business transaction, but I have to confess, I’m very happy for the chance to spend an evening in the company of someone who shares my passion for baking”, he says.

“Thank you, Ezra,” you smile as you sit down and he slides the chair in, “I have to admit, I wasn’t sure what you wanted when I first noticed you looking, but this has turned out a lot nicer than just trying to tell another sales rep that I’m not interested in a new oven.” 

Ezra has sat down across from you and now he chuckles, “You thought I was going to sell you a new oven?” 

“A new oven, a new fridge, new baking pans,” you sigh, “you name it, the sales reps have been in here trying to convince me to throw out my working equipment and spend money I don’t have, on their new shiny product.” 

“Well, I’m glad I could surprise you then,” he replies as he begins to open the take out containers, “But I have another confession, I came into your bakery because what you displayed looked incredible, but….” he trails off, glancing up at you with a small smile before he begins scoop rice onto his plate, “I stayed because the woman who runs the bakery is captivating.” 

You feel your cheeks heat up as Ezra looks up at you again and he smiles as he sees your reaction. 

“And I don’t just mean that you’re beautiful, although that is certainly no exaggeration. But your talent…your talent….” he chuckles as you give him a bashful grin, “Sweet twinkie, you kept me captivated with your skill as I watched you through the kitchen door. You have such passion for this,” he waves his hand towards the bakery’s display cases, “so much creative talent and skill, I just…” he gives a small laugh, his hand rubbing his cheek as he drops his eyes down to his plate again, his usual confident manner suddenly replaced by an uncharacteristic shyness, “I wanted a chance to talk to you, if you’d let me.” 

“You’re very sweet, Ezra,” you smile, trying to contain the wide smile that’s threatening to take over your face at his praise. 

“It’s only what you deserve,” he says, smiling back at you and handing you one of the take out boxes, “Please, before it gets cold, I’m letting my mouth run away from me as usual.” 

It turns out Ezra had chosen a number of dishes from a local Indian restaurant down the street and you both groan as you pick your way through the selection. 

“I have to remember this place,” you moan around a mouthful of korma, “it’s incredible.” 

Ezra’s mouth is stuffed full with bhaji and he just nods as he chews, a look of bliss on his face as he swallows. 

“The man who runs it, I spoke with him, was most courteous. He recommended his favorites from the menu and I must say, he sure does know how to make people want to return.” 

“And there will be leftovers for days,” you say, leaning back in your chair, your belly full but there’s still so much food on the table. 

“You keep it, my fridge is out of commission at the moment unfortunately,” Ezra says, “you’ll have the most delicious lunch for the next few days.” 

“I can’t take all this food from you,” you protest but Ezra just shakes his head. 

“I have nowhere to keep it.”

“Then keep it here, and come by and have lunch with me,” you suggest, “we can keep talking about baking and you can spend more time in the bakery, maybe we can figure out some things you can still bake.” 

During the course of the meal Ezra had asked you about every aspect of your baking, your process behind the recipes, the techniques you used, the ingredients and where you sourced them. It had been a rare deep dive into your favorite subject with someone who shared your passion for the trade. You felt your attraction for him steadily grow while he leaned his head into his hand and kept his eyes on you as you went into the details of how to grow and maintain a healthy sourdough starter. 

“You won’t grow bored of my company, moon pie?” he smiled, “And my increasingly desperate names for you?” 

“No, I don’t think I’ll grow bored of you,” you smile back at him, “and your names are getting better.” 

He laughs at that and pushes back his chair, “Then let me be a useful guest and clear this for us, and then we can get to the highlight of the evening perhaps?” 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

You lead him back into the kitchen and the plates and cutlery are soon in your industrial sized dishwasher in the back room. You get the ingredients out onto the workbench as Ezra wanders around the kitchen, looking at your equipment and making approving noises. 

“I was never a professional baker like you, but I’m glad to see you favor the same brands for your pans as I do,” he chuckles, “Makes me feel less like a fraud.” 

“I’m sure you’re just as good as I am,” you reply, “your skill didn’t disappear with your arm.” 

He comes up to stand next to you, and as you look up at him, you see his smile fade as he shakes his head. 

“No, but it might as well have, I held my skill in my right hand, my left just isn’t as steady and sometimes you need two hands.” 

“I’m sorry,” you say, shaking your head, “I didn’t mean that it would be as easy as before, just that your knowledge of baking is still intact.” 

He gives you a small smile, his hand coming up to rest on your shoulder for a brief moment, the warmth of his hand seeping through your t-shirt.

“I know, I just get frustrated as I’m reminded of what I used to be able to do.” 

You lightly bump your hip against his and give him a smile, “Well, we’ve got three hands now, and a lot of skill between us, so this will be the best chocolate soufflé ever made.” 

Ezra chuckles and smiles too, his hand slipping from your shoulder. But he doesn’t lift it, instead it drifts down to the small of your back and he leaves it there, as you lean over the notes you’ve made for the recipe. It sits comfortably against the cotton, a small, intimate touch that signals something else building between you, or at least you hope it does. Ezra is a lot more fun to have around than what you thought when you first saw him, and you’re glad he’s proving you wrong. 

“Alright, I’m putting you on butter duty, I know you can do that one handed,” you say, giving him a wink as you look up at him, you want to involve him in this as much as possible, to make him feel good about baking again.”The ramekins are up on that shelf and the saucepan over there, you know what to do.” 

Ezra grins back at you and gives you a sloppy, left handed, salute, “Yes, ma’am, I’m on it.”  

While he gets started you set up the double boiler on your stove and start whisking the ingredients together. Ezra comes over with the saucepan and stands next to you while he melts the butter and you set up a third saucepan for the caramel. 

“The whisking is the really hard part,” he says as you begin to combine the ingredients, “And even if I use a stand mixer for most things, whisking while it’s over the double boiler proved too hard, the saucepan just slid all over the place.” 

“I wonder if there’s a way to maybe keep the saucepan stable?” you think out loud as you continue to stream the cream into the bowl, “Maybe a non-conductive ring, a silicone mold maybe? It wouldn’t heat up on an induction stove, would it?.” 

“Maybe, that’s not a bad idea actually…” he says thoughtfully and you smile up at him. 

“I can hear the cogs in your head turning, Ezra,” you laugh and he laughs with you. 

“Yeah, you got me thinking there, I’ve got silicone oven mitts at home, I need to try with them first and then figure out where to get a ring shaped piece of silicone. But it’s a really good idea, thank you!” 

He leans down and gives you a quick kiss on your cheek and it catches you by surprise, looking up at him and he smiles back. 

“I apologize, a good deed deserves a nice gesture in return, and your cheeks look very kissable, sweet cheeks.” 

He laughs at your exaggerated sigh and eye roll, bumping your hip in return as you’d done to him, “C’mon now, sweet cheeks, as far as pet names go, that one’s pretty good from my perspective.” 

“Keep trying, Ezra,” you laugh, you can’t maintain your fake look of exasperation when he’s smiling at you, his eyes crinkling at the corners and looking at you with such a mischievous grin. 

“Oh I’ll keep trying, biscuit,” he winks, “I’ll win you over soon enough.” 

He steps away to grab a pastry brush, and as you whisk the batter you watch him coat the inside of the ramekins with melted butter. He struggles a bit at first when the first ramekin starts sliding across the workbench, but you quickly grab a kitchen towel, wetting it under the tap before spreading it out on the counter for him to put the ramekins on. 

“You’re just full of bright ideas, pumpkin,” he smiles gratefully as you go back to the double boiler. 

“I have my moments,” you chuckle and you feel his eyes on you as you continue to whisk the batter. 

“You have more than a few moments, I think you have everything,” he says after a little while, his voice low and sincere. It’s ladened with something deeper and it makes you take your eyes off the batter and look up at him. He’s looking back at you, smiling, but there’s another layer to his eyes, like he’s smiling through a memory. A strange mix of regret and sadness flashes across his face, gone, as quickly as it appeared, and his smile grows wider, you realize it’s not reaching his eyes this time. But as you open your mouth to say something, he speaks first, turning back to the ramekins. 

“What’s the next step, boss?” he asks, his voice back to the same cheerful tone he had just a few moments ago, and you’re certain you can see the mask come up this time. But you don’t challenge him, he’s hiding something, or at least there’s something he doesn’t want to share. So you consult your notes and point him to the egg whites. 

“Use the Husqvarna and make the meringue while I chop the chocolate.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” he replies and gets to work, the whisking made easy this time with the help of the mixer. 

You continue preparing the chocolate batter and when Ezra is done with the meringue, you fold it into the airy egg whites, bringing them together into a light fluffy mixture. Ezra watches you as you drizzle a layer of caramel into the ramekins he’s prepared, leaving him to sprinkle a few flakes of sea salt before you scoop the soufflé batter on top, finishing with him sprinkling another few flakes on the chocolate. 

“Done,” you say, "we make a good team, Ezra.” 

“We do, and you’ve made this one handed fool very happy, letting him finally get to taste these soufflés again,” he says as you laugh and shake your head. 

“No early victories, please! We still have to bake them and you know how fickle soufflés are.” You take the oven tray you’ve placed the ramekins on and carefully move them into the oven, turning down the heat. 

“With this team?” Ezra chuckles, “I have all the faith in the world, cherry pie.” 

“Better,” you smile at him as you watch him wipe down the workbench and then turn to jump up to sit on it. 

“Better?” His eyebrows quirk up as he grins and holds out his hand for you, “Am I getting warm with my names?” 

You jump up on the workbench and sit next to him, shaking your head, “No, I just find the man using them more agreeable.” 

Ezra smiles, his dark eyes glinting as he turns to you, “You didn’t find me agreeable when I first arrived at your bakery?” 

“Not…un-agreeable,” you say, thinking out loud and studying his face, the bright blonde patch of hair over his forehead curling with the heat in the kitchen, as are the unruly strands of hair around his neck, patchy beard over his jaw and cheeks, his mouth twitching up in a smile as he waits for you to continue. 

“Just…hard for me to place? What you wanted. And why you were always looking at me,” you say and Ezra’s smile softens. 

“I looked, because you’re beautiful.” 

He says it so simply, no flourish, no fanfare or exaggeration. Just a statement as he keeps his eyes locked on yours, no smile, no grin, just his face, quietly scanning yours for a reaction. 

You lift your hand and lightly touch his cheek, fingertips tracing his jaw, the short hairs of his beard, tickling under your caress as he slowly exhales. 

He leans his face into your palm, your thumb soothing over the lines at the corners of his eyes as they close, and he lets a small sigh slip out, his warm breath tickling your wrist. Your thumb caresses his cheek while you study his face, the dark eyelashes casting shadows and his features soft, relaxed in a way you haven’t seen since he first showed up. He looks younger as you gently explore his lines with your fingertips and let them melt into softness under your touch. 

A quiet hum escapes him as he tilts his head and lets your hand slip over his jaw and back to his neck. The curls are soft, wayward, and wrap easily around your fingers as you lean forward. The plush swell of his bottom lip is irresistible and you press your mouth carefully against it. 

Ezra’s eyes fly open as your lips meet, his eyes dark and smiling. His hand comes up and gently mirrors your own, cupping your cheek as he presses his lips against yours in return. As you close your eyes, you feel his warm palm hold you steady and you part your lips, the tip of his tongue meeting yours, tasting him. His touch is soft, both his hand and his lips, making warmth spread through your body as he pulls you closer.  

He kisses you like he’s trying to learn how to read you, studying your reaction to how his lips mold against yours as he tastes your tongue under his. Each moan he pulls from you makes him come back to pull it from you again, running his tongue over the same spot, nipping on your bottom lip with a gentle tug. You realize you started the kissing, but Ezra quickly takes control, his hand cupping your cheek, keeping you steady as your own hands caress his back, feeling the bunched muscles under his thin shirt, the warmth of his body heating your palms. You can feel his heartbeat against you, your own pulse thrumming under his fingertips as he pulls another moan from you when his hand slips into your hair.  

He groans into your mouth and scoots off the workbench, pulling you with him so that he gains extra height on you. The change in angle lets him wrap his arm around your shoulders and pull you in closer, pressing his lips to yours as your hands slide down his back, dipping into the waistband of his pants, finding the warm skin just under the edge.

With a groan, he pulls back, his hand still curled around the back of your neck, your arms still around his waist. You look up at him but his eyes are closed and he leans down, letting his nose run along yours, caressing your cheek, down your jaw, breathing hot over your skin, while he nuzzles your neck, inhaling deeply. 

“Like chocolate,” he mutters, “and caramel. What I wouldn’t give…” 

He falls silent, his lips pressing against your neck in a searing kiss that makes heat rush through your body, before he pulls back and stands up. 

“I’d tell you your kisses are the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted in this bakery, but I don’t think even I could get away with that comment,” he smiles and you roll your eyes with a giggle. 

“Not even you, Ezra,” you say, “although I’d say it’s a nice effort and that your kisses are just as sweet.” 

“We make a good team,” he smiles, letting his thumb caress your cheek again as you nod. His eyes are still on you and you feel him studying you again, but it doesn’t feel awkward this time, just…breathtaking. Your breath hitches as his eyes slip over your lips, his thoughts clear on his face as the tip of his tongue peaks out. He’s the one who leans in this time, watching you close your eyes as he presses a gentle kiss to your lips, his thumb and finger catching your chin. When he pulls away a fraction, you open your eyes again and he’s smiling at you. The oven timer is beeping in the background and you hadn’t even noticed, his soft lips distracting you both from the insistent sound. 

“I’ll get the timer, you get the soufflés,” he whispers and you nod slowly as he smiles and presses another soft kiss to your lips. 

“Now, my sweet cherry pie, or we’ll have a very flat dessert.” 

You smile back at him and grab the oven mitts and follow him to the oven. 

This next step is crucial, carefully you open the door and slide out the tray. They’ve risen perfectly but as soon as they’re out of the oven they start cooling down and soon they’ll sink. You set the tray down on the workbench and Ezra brings over two dessert spoons. His face is beaming at the sight of the soufflés, sniffing as the warm chocolate scent fills the kitchen. 

“They smell even better than the ones I made,” he grins as you slide a ramekin over to him. 

“A team effort, Ezra,” you smile, “your recipe, our skill.” 

“Your hands, luckily,” he replies, holding up his first spoonful of soufflé as if he’s toasting you, and you clink your spoon against his before you both have your first taste. 

The flavor is rich in your mouth but the texture is light and airy, a small hint of sal de mer hitting your tongue as you hum around the taste. Ezra’s eyes are closed, his head tilted back as he sucks on the spoon, a low rumble coming from his chest as he savors the chocolate. 

“My sweet soufflé,” he smiles, looking down at you through half closed eyelids, “this…this…is heaven.” 

He digs his spoon in, and gets some of the caramel too, taking another mouthful as he groans again. You copy him and make sure to get both caramel and soufflé on your spoon for your next bite, and Ezra was right, the combination is flawless. You sigh around your spoon, slowly sucking the caramel off it as the chocolate melts in your mouth. Ezra is watching you with dark eyes and a small smile, his own spoon forgotten in his hand. 

“I’d bake for you every day, no matter how much I’d struggle, if I could hear you make that sound again,” he says and it makes you laugh, giggling as he grins. He takes another spoonful of soufflé, smiling as he eats it, some of it catching on his mustache and you point at it. 

“You got some chocolate on your beard there.”

Ezra removes the spoon from his mouth and gives you a sly smirk, “I’m sure I won’t be able to reach it with my tongue, why don’t you help me?”. 

The tone of his voice, the mischief it promises, makes hot energy shoot through your nerves, your skin tingling as you put down your spoon and step closer to him. He’s looking down at you, his eyes full of mirth as you take his chin between your thumb and finger, tilting his head down towards you. He comes willingly, a small smile still lingering, and he’s so close, his hand finding its way to your waist. 

“Can you reach it,” he asks in a low voice and you nod, locking eyes with him. They’re the same rich brown as the soufflé, just as warm and soft right now, as you lean in and run your tongue over the corner of his mouth, finding the errant smudge of chocolate. Catching the edge of his mouth between your lips, you lap at the sweet taste. His hand bunches up your shirt and as you run your tongue over the seam of his mouth, he parts it easily, letting you in. He tastes of the dessert and you know he can taste the same on you. 

“I think you got it,” he mumbles, grinning, against your lips as you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer. 

“I need to make absolutely sure, can’t let you leave with chocolate all over your mouth,” you smile between kisses. 

“You take such good care of me, honey.” 

“That one’s a winner, Ezra,” you mumble, I’ll keep that one.” 

He chuckles, his lips pulling up in a grin under yours as he kisses you again, “But it’s too ordinary, for such an extraordinary woman.” 

“I like it, especially when it comes from you, you’re extraordinary enough for the both of us.” 

Ezra tugs you closer, making you sigh into him as he buries his face against your neck, pressing a kiss against the soft skin before he rests his head on your shoulder. 

“What am I going to do with you,” he says, more a statement than a question, his hand caressing your back, sliding up into your hair, cupping around your neck, “What am I going to do with myself.”

He slowly begins to sway, moving you back and forth in a slow dance without music. 

“I need to leave soon, but I don’t want to,” he mumbles, gently spinning you around as you let your hand rest on his shoulder, the one missing his arm, “I have to leave this warm kitchen, your tender kisses, this sweet nest you’ve built for us.” 

He spins you again, moving your body slowly with his own. 

“This home you’ve created for someone like me.” 

Before you can ask what he means he steps back, taking your hand in his, and with a flourish and bow, he kisses the back of it, making you smile.  

“I am afraid, my sweet baker girl, that it is time for my departure, I will steal no more hours from you,” he says, letting go of your hand and taking his coat from the hook by the kitchen door, shrugging it back on, the empty sleeve hanging limp by his side. The other arm he hooks around your waist and leads you back out to the shop, towards the door. 

“Ezra, it’s pouring outside,” you say, seeing the rain slick street outside, the asphalt shining black under the streetlights, “Let me at least give you a lift home, you’ll get soaked. Where do you live?” 

“No, it’s no trouble, honey pie, my car is parked just a block away. And unlike you, my sweet thing, I am not made of sugar, a little rain won’t melt me,” he grins. 

A twinge of regret hits your heart as you see the mask so clearly come up over his face again, the dark eyes shifting into something less open, the softness fading away even as he smiles at you.

“Do you have to leave?” you ask as he opens the door, and he turns, resting his back against the frame of the door. 

“The illusion has to break,” he says softly, raising his hand and running the back of it over your cheek, giving you a small wink, but the mischief doesn’t reach his eyes this time. 

“What does that mean, Ezra?” you ask but he just shakes his head, leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours. 

“Take care of my soufflé recipe, sweet girl,” he mumbles, pulling back and giving you a crooked smile. Then he turns and hurries across the street, the rain splashing around his shoes as he pulls his collar up and disappears into the darkness between the streetlights. 

…

The bell of the front door jingles just as you’re sweeping the floor, and as you look up, you spot Barbara from the dry cleaner across the street stepping into the shop. 

“Hi, you’re still open this late?” she asks, shaking out her platinum blonde box dye curls and you internally sigh, Barbara is the neighborhood chatterbox and you just want to go home, it’s been a long day. But you put on a smile and continue sweeping.

“I’m just getting ready to leave, what’s up?” 

“I meant to come earlier but I’ve been so busy. I just wanted to warn you in case he comes by here too,” she says, eyes scanning your bakery as if she’s looking for someone.

“Who?” you ask and she turns back to you. 

“There’s a man, you’ve probably seen him, shifty looking guy, he only has one arm, and a weird blonde patch in his hair. He’s been around to all the shops in this neighborhood. I saw him outside your place earlier today.”  

“What about him?” you ask, keeping your voice neutral as you duck down and wipe a shelf that’s already been cleaned, hiding your face. 

“He’s been conning business into giving him free stuff all week, food, clothes, shoes,” Barbara says, wrinkling her nose in disgust at the very nerve of asking for something for free. “Mr. Mason even gave him a haircut and trimmed his beard, how he dared to do that I don’t even know. I wouldn’t even let him into the dry cleaners, you can’t trust people like that.” 

You’re listening, your hand cleaning the same spot over and over as lead settles in your stomach. 

“H-how do you know that?” you ask, moving to the coffee machine, rubbing it down with your back to her. 

“Mrs. Levinson told me that Fanny, you know Fanny, in the flower shop?”

“Yeah, I know here, what did she say?” you ask impatiently, yanking at the milk nozzle, and you hear Barbara scoff behind you. 

“Well, apparently, this man, he told Mr. Olson at the hardware store, that he lost his arm in a construction accident, but Mrs.Saqib’s husband works at the hospital and he said this guy came in last year with a gunshot wound, all infected and nasty. And that’s how he lost his arm,” she snorts, cackling to herself. 

You continue to clean the machine, the heavy weight in your stomach turning to nausea, trying to keep your breathing steady as Ezra’s warm smile floats up inside your mind. 

“He told the police he got shot at a poker game and it was an accident but I reckon he’s lying,” Barbara continues, “men like that, you never know what they get up to, a real nasty piece of work I think.” 

“Thanks Barbara,” you snap, “I really need to close up and get home, thanks for telling me, I’ll be careful if I see him.” 

You usher her to the door as she huffs at the abrupt interruption to her gossip session but you can’t get her out fast enough, slamming the door harder than necessary and giving her a strained smile through the window as she waves. 

You hurry back to the kitchen, the ramekins still on the workbench and Ezra’s spoon next to them, just where he’d put it before he kissed you no more than a little while ago. You can’t even look at it, pulling your coat off the hook, you rush out through the back door and into the rain. 

Early next morning, long before the rest of the world is awake, you’re back at the bakery after a sleepless night. No matter how little rest you got, the bakery has to open, and for it to open, you need to bake. Familiar motions of the early hours, a chance to stop your mind from spinning, it feels like a small relief today. The thoughts of Ezra in your tired mind won’t let your head relax and as you walk up to the back steps you almost miss the envelope pushed under the door. 

You unlock the door and slip out the note inside while you step inside. The piece of paper is folded in an uneven line and as you smooth it out you see the unsteady handwriting of someone who’s writing with the wrong hand. 

I know what they say about me, the gossip, the rumors, and I confess, most of it is true. I’m sorry. I wish I was a different man, I wish I could offer you something, anything, but I have nothing to give to anyone.  

I did tell you the truth in the end though. You captivate me. You will always be my most cherished memory. That will always be true. 

Always yours, 

Ezra 

Part Six

Two links this time, one to the NYT recipe and one to the wonderful Claire Saffitz's making the souffles if you want to attempt them yourselves. I've added the caramel and sea salt though, as an extra layer of Ezra ☺

Tag list: @harriedandharassed @inept-the-magnificent @sheepdogchick3  @readingiskeepingmegoing @noisynightmarepoetry @survivingandenduring @vabeachazn @amyispxnk @oberynslady @vabeachazn

[companionjones]

The Love Expert

Pairing: Beck Oliver x Reader

Fandom: Victorious (Nickelodeon)

Summary: You’re the Love Expert of Hollywood Arts. You’re responsible for putting all the great couples together, including Beck and Jade. What will you do when they break up?

Warnings: None that I can think of

*******

    When Beck and Jade broke up, it affected you in a few different ways. In one, it felt like your parents had gotten a divorce all over again. Beck and Jade were the couple of Hollywood Arts. It broke your heart to see them go their separate ways.

    In another way, Beck and Jade breaking kind of hurt your reputation. You see, you were the one who got them together in the first place. You were known as sort of a love expert at Hollywood Arts. Getting Beck and Jade together had been your greatest feat. They were so opposite on the outside that you were sure no one else could have done it. But Beck kept Jade grounded, and Jade kept Beck guessing, and suddenly you had one of the greatest couples you had ever seen.

    Now that they had broken up, honestly, you had been feeling kind of down on yourself. You decided to go for an easy love. A couple that just needed an extra push to become official.

    Robbie and Cat weren’t that hard to set up. Just a little meddling later, the two were holding hands as they went to lunch.

    But they were easy. You wanted something difficult. Something you could sink your teeth into, like the old days.

    Your eyes widened as Beck walked by the table you were sitting at, alone. “Hey, Beck.” You got up to follow him.

    It seemed he knew exactly why you were talking to him. “Hey, Y/n,” he greeted as he knowingly rolled his eyes.

    “So, you and Jade broke up?”

    “Mhm.”

    “Any particular reason why?”

    He thought for a moment. “We...had different interests.” He sat down at his normal lunch table.

    “Different interests?” You absentmindedly sat next to him. “Interests that I didn’t know about? I highly doubt it.”

    Beck shrugged. “I don’t know what to tell you, Y/n.”

    “Interesting...” You bit your lip, thinking. “Do you have any interest in getting back off the market?”

    His eyebrows raised. He gave you a once-over, then smirked. “Maybe.”

    “Great. Come to my house at 7:30 sharp tonight,” you told him.

    “Hey, how come you never tried to pair me with anybody?” Tori asked.

    You hadn’t noticed she was sitting at the same table. Straightforwardly, you answered, “Because you never asked. And no one asked to be paired with you.”

    Tori pouted at your words. “Ouch.”

    “Don’t feel that bad about it,” you tried your best to comfort her, “It’s rare that I get someone asking to be paired with a specific someone else. And the person that I see you being with has never approached me, anyway.”

    “Oh yeah? And who’s that?” Tori wondered, almost jokingly.

    “André Harris.”

    Tori let the bits of salad she was holding in her mouth drop back onto her plate. “Me and-and André?”

    “Yes.”

    She blinked. “Well, that’s impossible, because André and I are just friends.” Suddenly, it was like she was trying to convince herself of that statement.

    “Yeah, okay.” You gathered your things. “You two have a fine lunch.”

    “Wait.” Tori stopped you. “How come you don’t see me and Beck as a couple?”

    Beck put down his fork and stared, surprised, at Tori.

    You shrugged. “Because with Beck, it’s either Jade, or no one.” And with that, you walked away.

    It was nearing 8 that night when there was a knock on your door.

    “Beck?! What are you doing? You’re late!” You were walking away from the door as quickly as you answered it.

    He followed you to your dining room table. “You invited me here. I don’t ever show up on time the first time I’m invited places. I don’t like the power dynamic it creates.”

    “So, does that mean you’ll be on time from now on?”

    Beck just shrugged, and grinned when you got exasperated.

    “Anyway,” you tried to move on, “Plans to get you back with Jade...” You started looking through the papers you had spread out on the table.

    “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Beck gently grabbed your arm to get you to stop moving. “I don’t want to get back together with Jade.”

    “What?” You didn’t understand. “Then...why did you come here?”

    He answered softly, “Because I thought this was going to be a date with you.”

    You pulled your arm from his grasp, and just looked at him.

    Beck defended his stance. “You asked me today if I wanted to get ‘back off the market’?”

    It took you a second to respond. “...I also said that it’s either Jade or no one when it comes to you.”

    He looked a little sheepish at that. “...I guess I wanted this so much that I kinda...didn’t listen to that?”

    “You...wanted this?” It was like your brain couldn’t compute what was going on.

    Beck smiled. “Yeah. Do you want this too?”

    “It doesn’t matter what I want.” You answered so fast that you didn’t think about it.

    Beck’s gaze softened at that. “What do you--”

    “I would like you to leave now.” You wouldn’t look at him.

    “What? Why--?”

    “I said I would like you to leave.”

    “Okay! Okay.” Beck put his hands up in surrender, and started headed towards the door.

    You didn’t breathe again until the door shut behind him.

    The next day at school, Tori was pestering you about André.

    “No, but seriously. There are hundreds of boys to choose from. Why me and André?”

    You rolled your eyes, but you had a smirk on your lips. “Because look at you two. You guys are best friends. That’s a great foundation for any relationship.”

    “Yeah. But what if we’re just...friends...” Tori trailed off. She had a lot of thoughts running through her head.

    Out of the corner of your eye, you caught Beck walking toward you in the hallway. You turned away before he saw you. “So, I’ll let you go through all that. Meanwhile, I’m gonna go--”

    “Hey, Y/n!” Beck caught sight of you.

    You started booking it down the hallway.

    Unfortunately, Beck was faster than you. He didn’t grab you to make you stop. Beck just ran in front of you and blocked from running any farther. “Y/n, come on. I just want to talk.”

    Exhaling through your nose, you looked around at all the eyes on you. You then tugged Beck into the janitor’s closet. You shut the door. “It’s what you said,” you told Beck.

    He seemed immediately concerned. “Something I said yesterday? What did I say?”

    Embarrassed, you mumbled under your breath.

    “What?” Beck stepped closer to you.

    “You said you wanted to go out with me,” you informed, a little clearer, yet you were still self-conscious.

    A smirk flashed across his face. “Well, yeah. Why wouldn’t I?”

    Not knowing what else to do, you eyed the door for an escape.

    Beck gently put a hand on your arm. “No, no. Tell me why that’s a problem. If you don’t like me in the same way, that’s fine--”

    “No!” you responded a little too loudly. You felt your skin grow hot. “People...don’t...like me. They only like what I can do.”

    Beck began, “Well, I think what you can do is cool too. To this day, I still don’t know how you managed to get me and Jade together. But Y/n, I gotta be honest, I’ve always had a bit of a crush on you too. You’re smart, smarter than anyone I know, and talented, and, well, not to mention, attractive.”

    You didn’t know how you were still standing upright. “Well, I-I never thought you in that way before, Beck. I remember when I was pairing you and Jade up I figured you were one of the best actors in this school. You don’t do it much, but you have a really beautiful singing voice. You care about your friends lie no one I’ve ever seen, and--”

    Beck kissed you.

    The kiss wasn’t much, just a simple meeting of the lips, but you suddenly felt like you were floating through the air.

    Beck slowly parted from you. “Was that your first kiss?”

    “Was it that obvious?” you wondered, worried.

    Beck chuckled and shook his head. “No.” He leaned in for another kiss.

    A little while later, you and Beck emerged from the janitor’s closet, hand-in-hand.

    Connected hands was something you had in common with Tori and André, whom you saw walking down the hallway. “Y/n! Look!” Tori waved you down and brought your your attention to her and André’s hands.

    Just as you were nodding your approval, you spotted another couple striding down the hallway, hand-in-hand. Jade and...Trina.

    “That’s right! I am now dating the second scariest girl at at Hollywood Arts,” Trina bragged. “So everyone better back off and leave us alone. KK?”

    Wow. You did not see that coming. You looked at Beck. He just shrugged. He shared a smirking ‘We did it’ look with Jade as the WLW couple rounded the corner, and Jade put an arm around Trina’s shoulder.

*******

Author’s Note: Thank you for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it. I would also really appreciate a comment, if you have the time. If you would like to read more, check out my masterlist. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3

[xhoneywheatx]

NSFW Alphabet (Naruto)

Here's my first work guys. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it.

A- Aftercare (What he's like after sex?)

After being treated so poorly throughout his childhood, Naruto swore to himself that he'd never let someone else go through the same pain. He tries his absolute best to be there for everyone in any and every situation. That applies to everything, including intimate moments with you. He may be a dunce sometimes, but he knows how women get after sex when their partner fails to comfort them. That was one of the things Jiraiya taught him on their two-and-a-half-year journey during his teenage years.

He absolutely spoils you. As soon as he makes sure you cum for the last time, he's on the 'softy' train. He'll be extra careful cleaning you up. If you two work up a good sweat, Naruto will summon his clone to help wash you up. He'll carry you to the washroom and have his clone wash you up as he holds you from behind while whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

After the shower, he makes sure you're all nice and snug in bed and will cuddle you 'til you drift off with nothing but how sweet his vanilla cologne smells on your mind.

B- Body Part (What is his favorite?)

He's a sucker for your ass. It's all about the booty for Naruto. By no means does he pick and choose his women based on this body part, but you... oh boy. Your ass jiggles in literally anything you wear. Jeans, a short or long skirt, sweatpants, a dress. And he fucking loves it. There's been plenty of times when you'd catch him staring, and he doesn't even try to deny it. 

His slick hands always find their way to touch it in some way no matter where you are. You would've thought that he would keep things a little more private since becoming Hokage, but you couldn't be more wrong. 

"Can't the Hokage show the village how much he loves his wife?"

C- Cum (Where does he like to cum?)

You would have never thought that such a sweet and energetic man like Naruto has one of the dirtiest sides to him. He has a major breeding kink. He just loves how warm and slick it feels when he's still raw dogging you with his cum leaking out and around his dick. He will cum inside of you every chance he gets. It's a good thing you're on birth control or you'd have a football team of little Naruto's by now.

Don't ask him to wear a condom either. He'll sport this cute pouty face for hours after you've finished, and the only way to cheer him up is either Ichiraku or a round two. If you feel generous enough, he gets both.

D- Dick (Is he packing or not?)

Hell. Fucking. Yes.

Nartuo is slinging dick like a fucking lasso. When you first laid your eyes on it, you were so worried you'd tear. He's just big everywhere in girth and length. He was blessed by the gods above. The worst part is that he knows! He's not one of those guys to play it off, no. He knows he has a big dick and often teases you about it when you're struggling to take it all in your mouth or your pussy. 

"C'mon sweetheart, I know you can take it. Doin' so good for Daddy hm?"

E- Experience (Does he know what he's doing?)

Jirayia didn't take him on a nearly three-year trip and teach him nothing. Although it was a bit creepy for the thirteen-year-old at first, he eventually welcomed the conversations about sex once his hormones began working. It was more of a learning experience for him since the academy doesn't teach sex-ed anymore. 

He's never read his pervy books, but he took notes. Jiraiya went over the basics with him and kept everything as PG as possible. It wasn't until Naruto got a bit older that he started talking a bit more in depth about it. Any questions he had, the Toad Sage would answer it to his best ability in order to keep Naruto's innocence intact. 

He might have been a perv, but he had class.

Naruto took your virginity, and you took his. With how much knowledge he had at the time, you'd think he was an expert. It wasn't hard for him to figure out how your body works and what places he'd touch to really get you going.

F- Favorite Position

As an ass man, you can guess what his favorite position or positions are. Doggystyle is his absolute favorite. Yours too ;). His hands are everywhere on your backside while he drills you from behind. He'll smack it, which became a kink of yours from how much he fucking does it. He'll bend over to kiss, bite, and lick it. To him, you taste exactly how you look. Like a box of candy.

A close second is the classic reverse cowgirl. Naruto loves when you take over and ride him, but it will most likely be from this position. His eyes are glued on your ass clapping and bouncing up and down his dick. If you do it for too long, he gets a bit excited. Next thing you know, he's tightly gripping your hips and fucking up into you. If your neighbors didn't hear you before, they do now.

G- G-Spot (Does he know where it is?)

Of course he does. During foreplay is where he'll tease this spongy bud of tissue inside of you until you're begging him to stop from oversensitivity. Don't get your hopes up either. Begging will only drive him to keep going. 

"I know you can take it, sweetheart. Cum as many times as you want baby. I'll help you get there." 

H- Horny (How often does he get horny?)

It's not an everyday thing, but if you want it to be it can. All you have to do is shoot him a wink or two and he's ready. You two have been on missions together and fell behind a few kilometers because of him! He doesn't know how to wait until you're bedding down or even in a more secluded area. 

He'll summon a clone just to be a look out while he fucks you into oblivion on a nearby tree.

If he's at the office and he gets in the mood, he'll summon a clone to replace him for a few hours just to go home and fuck you on the counter with his cloak still draped around his shoulders. It doesn't matter what you're doing. You could be doing your hair, taking a shower, or even napping! 

He'll cradle you in his arms like a baby, pull your panties to the side and fuck you like than in his lap.

"'M sorry princess. Couldn't wait to feel you."

I- Intimacy (How romantic can he get?)

During your more intimate moments, Naruto can have you crying from how good he's fucking you and how sweet he is at the same time. These moments usually occur after a special event like your anniversary or either of your birthdays. He will whisper sweet nothings in your ear while slow stroking you to feel everything he has to offer you. He'll remind you how beautiful you are the whole way. Kiss your entire face and remind you how much he loves you and lucky he is to have you.

J- Jack Off (Does he?)

Whenever you're not around for a particularly long time, he'll definitely go for it. His favorite thing to do it to is homemade sex tapes you made him swear to keep between you two on his phone. A more extreme way of doing it is with shadow clones. If you're feeling a bit frisky one night and allow him to summon a clone or two, he'll sit back and watch the clones fondle and play with you while he jacks off. He loves watching your body react to his touch.

K- Kink (What are his biggest kinks?)

The breeding kink. Holy shit. The breeding kink. Naruto will cum inside of you and get himself hard all over again just from fucking his seed into you. This happens almost every time you guys have sex. He loves seeing you full of his dick and his cum. You'll know when he's hit his peak satisfaction when his eyes roll to the back of his head, and he picks up the pace. You know at that point to brace yourself for another load soon.

He also has a daddy kink. He's such a whore for you. Call him daddy once and he'll do anything you want him to do to you. Fuck you from the side? No problem? In the shower? Already on it. From behind? Fuck yes. Call him daddy while he's giving you those immaculate back shots, and he'll turn feral. Your legs always suffer the consequences, so be careful about this particular one.

"You like the way Daddy fucks you princess?" 

L- Location (Where do he like to do it?)

Anywhere. They don't call him the most unpredictable knuckleheaded ninja for fucking nothing. Naruto is fucking reckless. He'll fuck you in the middle of a mission with other shinobi assigned on your team. He'll bend you over the Hokage's desk five minutes before a meeting. Every flat surface in your shared home has been tainted with you perverts. Any store with a family restroom in the village has seen better days. Naruto loves feeling the adrenaline running through his veins while fucking you publicly. The risk of getting caught brings him closer. That and most of the time you fuck in risky places, it's from behind. That seals the deal.

"Stay quiet or you'll be choking on my dick instead." 

M- Menstrual Cycle (Does that stop him?)

Nope. During this painful time of the month is the only time Naruto will ever wear a condom. He's not a fan of a bloody sword, but it sure as hell doesn't stop him from fucking you. The only difference during this time is an old towel beneath you to prevent an unnecessary mess. He won't take no for an answer. 

This only happens when your flow isn't very heavy anymore and in the comfort of your home. Out in public or on a mission, he'll hold himself back just so you can feel as comfortable as possible.

(Let's be adults here. If it's not your thing, then don't give others a hard time about it.)

N- Nicknames (What does he call you during sex?)

Sweetheart. Darling. Princess. Those are his favorite during regular sex. When he's in the mood to destroy you, he'll use more degrading names. He's called you a dirty slut and whore before. It kinda just came out on accident, but when he felt your pussy start tightening around him, he knew he'd just discovered something new about you. He loves to see you lost in ecstasy, so he'll keep it up. 

For him, you can already guess. Daddy. You can call him other names like baby, babe, or even Naru, but nothing gets him going faster than calling him Daddy. Daddy's whore is his favorite when referring to yourself. Oh god, it fucking drives him insane. 

"You're such a slut for me aren't you princess?"

O- Oral Sex (Is he a giver or receiver?)

It's either or for him. Naruto can get satisfied from eating you out. You're his favorite flavor.  He loves kissing your other set of lips and taking his time with you. He'll ignore your cute bundle of nerves until you beg. He loves when you beg him to do something particularly naughty. He'll take his time too. He's spent an hour at times just lapping you up, pulling multiple orgasms from you before he's truly satisfied.

He adores getting head from you. Knowing just how big he is, he's surprised you can manage to deep throat him at times. You know you're doing a good job when his hand finds itself tangled in your hair. Don't go for too long though. Your mouth will surely replace your aching pussy since he's not afraid to give you a taste of his sweet cum.

P- Pubic Hair (Does he shave? Does he like it?)

Naruto doesn't really like when his hair gets too long. He won't clean shave it, but a good trim keeps him happy. He likes to look good for you. If it's too long after a mission, he'll still fuck you, but he won't let you go down on him until he's all cleaned up.

What a gentleman.

As for you miss lady, Naruto likes when you get a good clean shave. He doesn't mind a little hair, but if it gets too long, he just won't go down on you. You can't have sex unless you're shaved, so it's never a problem. You even took the liberty of getting laser hair removal, so you'd never have to worry about it again. He was not opposed to it.

Q- Quickie (Does he like them?)

They're his favorite. He loves taking you in any place or any time. The thrill really gets him going. There's been plenty of times where you'd find yourself being pushed into a closet or some type of confined space so he can use you to get himself off. And you let him. He can exhaust the shit out of you during a quickie, so be sure to drink plenty of water beforehand.

R(1)- Rectum (Does he like anal?)

He's down for it all. That is, if you're in the mood. He knows it can be rather uncomfortable if he's not careful and uses the right amount of lube, so he doesn't really initiate this type of sex first. But holy shit when it does happen. Naruto will turn into this evil man. He will summon a shadow clone beneath you to take your pussy while he's balls deep in your tight ass.

It's always a fun time.

R(2)- Rough (Is he gentle or more hardcore?)

Naruto is mean. Aside from relentlessly teasing you during foreplay, he can be quite the asshole during sex. Let's start before penetration. When you're giving him head, some sadistic part of him loves watching you struggle to keep up with his desires. He will fuck your face until drool is dripping down your chin, and tears are streaming down your face. In addition to that, he'll tightly fist your hair in his hands while he's doing it. If you didn't acquire the pain kink, you'd definitely tell him to stop from it being so painful. But Naruto knows you. After doing it the first time, he came to find out how wet you got from him treating you so roughly.

During sex is another story. If you felt edgy during oral, then brace yourself. Naruto's not into BDSM like whips and chains, but you could say he likes getting his feet wet. His hand is either leaving handprints on your ass or wrapped around your neck. He doesn't completely restrict airflow, but he does enough that you can only take in shallow breaths. He'll use handcuffs or any type of bondage toys just to see you struggle to keep up with him. 

He's also gone as far as blind folding you just to push you past the limits of overstimulation. He does not care if you cry, scream, or beg him to stop. He knows how much you like it, so it only encourages him to keep it up. 

S- Shadow Clones (Does he use them?)

If you're up for it, Naruto has the limit of summoning two clones. You're such a whore for him. The more the fucking merrier. He'll fill your pussy, ass, and mouth with his sweet cum, and it gets you soaked. So much to the point where it's leaking around his dick and dripping onto the sheets. 

It's almost too much for you. He'll eat you out and fuck you at the same while your sucking his dick. Talk about overstimulation. Your eyes will cross before being screwed shut from just feeling him everywhere on you. Let's not even get into how he degrades and praises you at the same time.

His clones seem to have developed a personality of their own as well. You'll have mean Naruto, passionate Naruto, wild Naruto, and rough Naruto all at once. One minute you're passionately making out with one then a dick is shoved down your throat.

You should probably call out of work for a day or two after this...

T- Toys (Does he like using them?)

Yes. Anything that will have you a pathetic puddle of yourself, he'll use. Your rose is his favorite. During missionary, he'll make sure to hold it down on your clit while fucking you. This'll get you screaming and squirting all over him. He'll make you use it while he's blowing your back out too. 

"Keep squirting all over this dick princess. Mmm, you're such a dirty girl." 

U- Underwear (Does he like when you wear lingerie?)

Yes. Naruto loves your body. Wear a sexy one piece or set and it'll seem like he has literally hearts in his eyes. He'll take the liberty of feeling on you and playing with the flimsy fabric. And wear orange. Please. Your skin tone goes so fucking well with the color. It makes you look like even more of a goddess than you already are.

He's extremely careful when taking off lingerie that's orange. He'll even fuck you while you wear it. He's an expert at pulling those orange panties to the side or sliding your bra down so your titties are hanging free. Any other color and it's ripped to shreds laying forgotten on the floorboards.

That doesn't mean you always have to get dressed up for him. He'll still fuck you in a big t-shirt and panties. 

V- Volume (How vocal is he?)

Despite being loud in every other aspect, he's surprisingly quiet during sex. Naruto is keen on listening to your beautiful song you sing to him. He loves hearing you sigh and moan every time he pushes his dick further and further into your warmth. He'll praise you and whisper sultry things into your ear to pull more and more moans from you.

When he's cumming is the only time he'll probably get just as loud as you. He'll grunt and groan while he fucks you through both your orgasms. His eyes will roll to the back of his head and his mouth will part only slightly. You can hear his groans and moans clearly at this point.

W- Wet Dreams (What happens when he has one?)

In the middle of the night one time, you were rudely awakened by Naruto pushing himself into your warmth. Not totally opposed to the feeling, you didn't fight back as he rolled you over on your tummy and pressed his chest against your back and slow stroked you to a blissful orgasm. The whole time, he was muttering to you about you being especially naughty in a dream he woke up from. You couldn't do anything to combat his ridiculous sexual desires, so you became his cum bucket.

It's almost always like this when he has a wet dream. During this sex is the only time he'll refrain from man handling you since you're at a vulnerable state. So sweet. 

"Don't worry baby, I'll fuck you back to sleep."

X- X-Rated (How nasty is he?)

Whew! Naruto is probably the nastiest man on Earth. From jamming his thumb in your ass to appreciating your freshly painted piggies with his tongue, Naruto does it all. He doesn't care not one bit! You're his, and he is yours. 

"What goes on in our sex life is just between us, ya know?"

One particular day, you two were on an ice cream double date with Sasuke and Sakura. After enjoying the honey drizzle on his plain vanilla cone, Naruto got quite the extravagant idea. He ordered his treat to go in a small tub. After successfully convincing the waitress, he even snagged the honey bottle!

Mere minutes after Sasuke and Sakura bid their goodbyes, Naruto had you spread out on the couch dripping the honey all over your pussy. He spent the next thirty minutes eating you out like that. Who knew he loved it that much? Jeez!

Not only that, but he'll do the same thing in front of his friends! You guys could be eating dinner with everyone just to catch up. If you're in a dress he likes or looking especially beautiful, make sure he keeps his hands to himself. There were plenty of times where he'd be knuckle deep in your warmth beneath the table. To top it off, he'll pull his fingers from you and dip in into his food!

The nerve of this man.

Y- Yearn (What does he do when he misses you?)

If you're gone on a mission for a few days, he can hold himself back. Push it to a week or two, he might jack off a couple times to your sex tapes on his phone. When you get back, he always tells you about it which leaves you red in the face and scrambling to get away from him and his lewd mouth! A few weeks, and he might hold back just to make things better when you get back. If not, then he succumbs to his hand and more videos on his phone.

God forbid you're gone for more than a month. Depending on if he's sexually frustrated, or feeling a bit lonely, this could go two ways. Naruto could either set up the bedroom in a romantic way. Rose petals and flowers covering your California king size and candles littered across the room. He'll take his time appreciating you. Missionary and spooning is always a favorite of his during this time. He wants to be as close to you as possible when he feels a bit lonely.

If he's sexually frustrated... well... I hope you did your mission report to Kakashi before heading back home. If not, you won't physically be able to for quite some time. As soon as you set foot in the house and had a proper shower, this man turns feral. He will brutally fuck you everywhere. The shower. The hall. The floor of your bedroom. Your bed. Every flat surface of the house gets touched by you two. It's not gentle either. Naruto will leave loving bruises on your hips, handprints on your ass and throat. He'll use toys, summon clones and more!

Sometimes you wish for longer missions just to get this side of him. Hehe.

Z- Zzz's (How quick does he fall asleep after?)

Naruto refuses to sleep before you. He will do everything he can to stay awake and cuddle you to sleep before teleporting to his dream world. You stay awake at most five seconds after he's finished with you. He'll play in your hair and whisper sweet nothings in your ear while holding you tightly to his body. He does this for at least ten minutes just to ensure you're resting, and then he falls asleep with the love of his life in his arms.

[newbornwhumperfly]

ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves…

sorry for this day’s entry being late! i wasn’t happy with it for a while but perfection is the enemy of progress, so! here it is! i promise the next installments will be in quick succession, it’ll be a fun time for all 😈💖😈

whumptober2024 • day 3 • set up for failure • fingerprints | wrongfully arrested | “i warned you”

CW: blood, dehumanization, conditioned whumpee, allusions to xenophobia

title insp. by “ruthlessness” from epic: the musical

~

He knew it. 

He knew it, he knew it, he knew it, he fucking knew it. God fucking damnit. Jorah’s hands are steel-balls, every muscle coiled, spring-loaded, because he’s not fucking shaking. 

He’s not - he’s clear-headed and he has to be, doesn’t he, because nobody else in this goddamn base is. Nobody else is seeing or thinking or using their fucking brains because Morja is not in cuffs already (or, better, with a bullet in his head), just standing, standing, before their Captain’s desk, still soaking wet with Claudia’s blood.

“I warned you.” Jorah breathes, hands planted on Brax’s desk, knuckles bleach-white with holding himself still. “Captain, I asked you not to let him go without me, without a goddamn security expert-“

“There was an expert, Cuthbert.” The Captain breathes, their hands pressed flat on the fine wood grain of their desk, “The expert was Morja.” 

“And you thought- I’m sorry, you thought he’d be good enough?”

Claudia is in surgery, getting head stitches, and what if she dies- 

Jorah clamps down on the chilling twist in his stomach, all that cold going back to his veins. That’s not useful to think about right now, Sarai’s got her, she’ll be fine. She’ll live. She’d better live. 

Or Morja is dead. 

“Yes, Cuthbert, I used my discretion here. Morja was the only one who knew where the training facility would be.”

“And that wasn’t, maybe, suspect to you, did you not think of security, Captain?-“

“He was the best choice to keep everybody safe.”

Jorah reels, chest heaving, the sharp fire of rage pressing down on his lungs. He’s so betrayed. This is such a betrayal because the Captain is standing there, tall and pristine and behind that desk which represents their country, their title, and Jorah can’t believe that someone like them could be so stupid. How could they have made such an error?

“It was my call.” Jorah grits out. “I’m this base’s security liaison, I am second rank, I review all potential security threats, this motherfucker is a security threat-“

“Easy, Commander-“

“Brax, I- how else do you want me to put it, this is a fucking lapse in protocol, those are supposed to be my fucking calls to keep us safe!”

Jorah’s voice rising to a shout, his professionalism unraveling, hands emphasize his point by laying on the desk. It rattles, the trinkets rattling together, a cup in its saucer. Brax’s glasses flash, their glasses pushed up, as they stand fully behind their desk.

“If you are suggesting I had poor judgement, Cuthbert, I trusted everyone on that team.” 

Their voice is cold, sharp, and Jorah has gone maybe too far, he can see that, but they aren’t listening. Jorah can see those dark, sharp eyes keep glancing over Jorah’s shoulder, keep trying to seek out that rat fuck, why does Brax care what comes out of him? Is this balance? Is this trying to be fair, to be measured? Can’t they see the threat?

They aren’t listening. 

“Captain.” Jorah rears back, a stagger of a step, his eyes burning. Throat clicking. He goes to attention in respect for their station, but his head shakes back and forth, jaw spasming as he tries to unclench his jaw. 

“Captain?” His eyes blur as he blinks, frustration choking him, voice pitched soft, shaky. “You- you didn’t trust my judgement? You didn’t trust me?”

That makes Brax seem to remember themself, drawing themself up to full height, their expression, so tight and narrow-eyed, seems to falter. They reach out to him and Jorah pulls away, wounded. 

“Jorah, that isn’t why I didn’t consult you before they left-“

“I just wanted to keep my friends, my unit, safe, Captain.”

“I know that, Jorah, I know that and I would never have let them all go if I had known there would be this much danger.”

“He hurt Claudia.”

Jorah’s voice crests on a pitch of tension, cracks with rage, a frigid ocean storm frothing inside him, and Brax’s jaw tics visibly, sucking in their breath sharply. 

“…You don’t know that, Jorah.”

But they don’t sound so sure anymore, their eyes flicking from the asset, stock still as bloody stone, and him, and Jorah digs in, presses, urgent and hoarse, leans over the desk again to plead.

“Just ask him.”

They both spin but Jorah is watching Brax as their hand comes up to touch the gold wire of their glasses, to steady the frames again, peering at Morja with a look that makes even Jorah go still. Searching, probing, an excavation tool, razor sharp attention all on one object, one singular foci. There is a hardness to their mouth which means disappointment, pondering, doubt. 

“Morja?” 

Asset, Jorah wants to scream, but he bites his cheek somehow as the fucker thuds to his knees, filthy, on their beautiful carpet, whimpering like a dog when he folds, hands (the red blood barely dried, caked and browning) clasped crosswise in front,  playing dead. 

“Stand up, Morja, I’m talking to you.”

“I’msorryCaptain.”

As with their usual platitudes that grate, sugar on a broken tooth, Brax corrects his apology, a that’s alright, Morja, stomach-turning reassurance for a killing machine. The stains of small red fingerprints on the asset’s cheek, bright in the lamplight, make Jorah’s nostrils flare. Claudia’s handprints. 

Did she clutch at Morja before he bashed her over the head? Did she claw at him in self-defense? Jorah imagines Morja and his fucking scar-gnarled hands looming over her and he wants to put his boot against that throat and watch his fucking eyes bug as he crushes and crushes and crushes until he’s no longer playing at going limp.

“Morja, listen to me carefully. Are you responsible for Claudia’s wound?” 

Their icy calm could cut steel and even Jorah feels himself straighten up as the asset wheezes. 

“Y-Yes, Captain.”

Jorah warned them all. 

“Did you…try to harm her, Morja?”

“I’msosorry.”

“Morja, tell me you didn’t hurt her?”

“Yes- y-yes. Yes, Captain, s-sorry, was m-me.”

Brax’s hands slip into their waistcoat and Jorah is close enough to see their fingers clench into fists, rounded knuckles pressing against the silk. 

“What happened, Morja?” 

Their voice is so soft and Morja whines like a dog scratching at the door and Jorah wants to vomit.  The asset sways like he wants to collapse, silence stretching between them, taut and humming. He shakes his head, more a jerk of his chin, and lowers his chin to his chest. 

Look them in the fucking face. 

“I failed.”

His arm wraps around his stomach, head turned away, for all the world like a penitent child confessing his candy theft. Red handed. Sorry for being caught, blood still under his nails. 

“Cap-Captain, I- I am sorry. I am sorry for- for obeying my- the enemy, an- Captain, I didn’t know-“

Poorly trained dog with sharp jaws. 

“I just obeyed, I followed orders, and- I’m sorry, I tried to- I did hurt her, it is my f-fault, and I did try to- I didn’t want to hurt her, I did, I did-“

Rabid.

“Someone on the other side told you to hurt her?”

“Y-Yes, anotéros. Captain, I’m sorry.”

“Morja…who’s side are you on?”

Teeth at all of their throats.

“…Idon’tknow.”

A knock at the door makes them all startle, the silence spiderwebbing from the pressure of intrusion as Cobi steps into the room, Pfeffer still bloody, those big hands trembling, eyes red and swollen, streaming snot and tears that he keeps swiping away. 

Jorah’s chest spasms, cold, no-

Cobi catches his eyes and shakes his head, sniffling hard, using a heel of his palm to scrub at his cheek. 

“Sarai kicked me out, to- to work better.” He croaks. “I- Um. Dunno how she is yet, sorry, J-man. Just dunno yet.”

His lips are trembling, sniffling even harder, and Jorah cannot fucking handle any weakness right now, not from any quarter, spins to Brax, rigid attention and crisp readiness. The only one in this goddamn base who’s prepared to handle a goddamn difficulty. 

“What would you like me to do with him, Captain?”

Three sets of eyes flash to Jorah, the only source of clean and calm in the room. 

Brax tugs at the buttons of their vest, hands smoothing and adjusting, a magnet to Jorah’s lodestone, and when their jaw sets, he feels a surge of pride and relief that they’ve made the right choice.

“First Lieutenant Cuthbert, Private Pfeffer, Morja will be remanded into custody until further testimony from Private Williams i- when she awakes. Morja, please accompany them until further notice. We will get this figured out.”

The asset’s blank eyes go wide as he gasps a little whimper that Jorah and his tools could never wring out of him, face blossoming open in a look that Jorah doesn’t have to guess at: fear.

Good.

Motherfucker should be afraid - he should remember what he is. They should all remember what he is. It might be bittersweetly bought but now they will. Now they know that Jorah is right about him. 

~

oh no, what will happen to morja now, i wonder? 😨👀🥺

taglist: @much-ado-about-whumping @haro-whumps @whump-tr0pes @wolfeyedwitch @suspicious-whumping-egg

@i-eat-worlds @whumpzone @straighttothepain @whump-me-all-night-long @whumping-every-day

@whatgoeswhumpinthenight @stoic-whumpee @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @whumpthisway @redwingedwhump

@tears-and-lilies @kixngiggles @liliability @whumpsterdraganies @scoundrelwithboba

[sweettjrose]

Quick question for you cuz you seem to know very well the little guy

Do you think Mickey has any bad sides? Bad qualities/Habits

Ooh! I was hoping someone would ask this question. It was sitting in my mind for a while. I love sharing my thoughts on this little guy.

I do think it is important to remember that when it comes to characters like Mickey it can be challenging to ascribe specific traits to him since there are so many interpretations with differing personalities. Mickey in the black and white shorts is different from Mickey in the Gottfredson comics who is different from Mickey in the Paul Rudish shorts and etc. So some traits may fit better for some versions than others.

I don't know if I can say I am the Mickey expert. But I do think about him a lot and if I came up a list of what I think are bad habits or flaws that he has, based on how is generally portrayed and my own personal interpretation, I would say:

Stubborn - To start off, I feel like a common flaw for Mickey is his stubbornness. Once he sets his mind on a certain idea or situation, he has a hard time being convinced of anything else. It can be really difficult to change his mind, though not impossible. I don't think it comes from a place of seeing himself as better than anyone though, but rather from his desire to hold fast to what he believes in. And in some cases, it can have beneficial results. Such as when he is investigating some kind of mystery he tends to drop everything else, unable to change focus until he finally solves it. This usually gives him the push to solve problems most people give up on. But unfortunately, it tends to result in him ignoring the world around him which can be frustrating at times, especially for Minnie. Sometimes I think Mickey even uses these situations as an excuse to push aside things he doesn't want to do and focus on something he would much rather do.

Untamed Curiosity - I feel like this is actually an offshoot of his earlier personality. He was much more mischievous in his earlier appearances, but that was somewhat tamed over the years. However, I do think one element that has remained is this mouse's curiosity for the unknown. It seems like Mickey can't help himself but stick his nose into things he probably shouldn't. Whether it is listening to a conversation, checking a locked room, testing out a weird machine, or even following an odd feeling. I also feel like his stubbornness doesn't really help as it seems like once a curiosity is in his focus, he can't let it go. Mickey rarely likes to cause problems, but if his curiosity overtakes him, he usually ends up being a troublemaker. Sometimes this usually leads to him catching a crook. But other times it results in a big mess that he would have to clean up. I do think though that his mischievousness isn't entirely gone and does pop up every once in a while. Especially when trying to get out of things he finds boring or doesn't want to be in. And sometimes he just wants to be a prankster and have fun with his friends and family. Which is funny until things get out of hand.

Overthinks - Mickey is very intelligent and can come up with pretty clever plans when trying to solve problems. Unfortunately, this comes with the side effect of him overcomplicating even simple situations. This is usually why Goofy is such a vital friend for Mickey. Mickey tends to come up with complex solutions while Goofy tends to show the easier option Mickey tends to overlook. I think part of this does come from Mickey being afraid of being wrong and making mistakes, so he tries his best to be as thorough as he can be, which unfortunately can lead to more mistakes.

Lack of Self-Protection - One positive about Mickey is that he cares about others and would stand up to protect them. But unfortunately, this doesn't always extend to himself. He is not a doormat but tends to lean more "Turn the other Cheek" approach when he is the only one getting bullied (unless things go too far or if others get involved). To be fair, it is important to know when to pick your battles, but this tends to lead into other areas as I feel like he doesn't really share his problems and tends to keep personal issues to himself. I personally see him as the kind of guy you really have to pry to get him to talk about what he is feeling as he would much rather bottle it up to not cause any trouble. I also feel like he rarely is one to ask for help and tends to try and solve it all on his own, especially if he is worried that others may get hurt. The issue is, he doesn't seem to worry about whether he would get hurt.

Takes on Too Much - I also feel like this connects to another flaw as he tends to take on too much and constantly puts himself in risky situations. Whenever a life-threatening situation comes up that could help everyone but is extremely dangerous, he is usually the first in line to do it. It feels like Mickey doesn't even consider his own safety or limitations at all. Sometimes it feels like he is overconfident in his abilities and just believes that he will be okay, which works until it doesn't. It also doesn't help that Mickey has a hard time saying "No", so even if he didn't want to do something or knows he is not capable of doing it, he would probably still do it, not wanting to disappoint anyone. He rarely thinks of himself. And seldom considers what would be best for him. Usually, his friends are the ones to think about his safety and needs.

Need to be Perfect - Though I feel like part of the reason Mickey takes on so much is his need to be the hero. He feels like he has to be a perfect, selfless, and brave role model who does everything without a single complaint. I feel like he overexerts himself because he is afraid of what happens if he doesn't. He is afraid of not being needed or wanted. He is usually the underdog, a small mouse in a world with characters twice his size, and if he isn't constantly proving himself people will leave him behind. I also feel like he has a hard time admitting to mistakes (which connects to his stubbornness) because he feels like he can't make mistakes, or that would show that he isn't as capable as people think. I also think this explains why he has more of a heated rivalry with Mortimer. Mortimer somehow taps into his insecurities in the ways others don't. I feel like Mickey is kind of jealous of Mortimer because he tends to be taken seriously (at first) while Mickey usually needs to earn it. I also kind of wonder if he is worried that if he starts messing up, Minnie and the others will leave him for someone like Mortimer, so he feels like he can't mess up. Ever.

Lack of Self Worth - Unfortunately this means that he is very reliant on others for his self-worth. Luckily Mickey is really good at making friends. But he tends to rely on the existence of his friends for his worth. I can imagine that if for some reason they all stopped existing, I don't think he would even know what to do with himself. While he doesn't need everyone to like him. He does need at least one person to like him to help ground him or I can see him going into a deep depression. I feel like he would really struggle with being alone for too long unless there was some hope of being able to be with his loved ones soon.

But yeah these are the bad qualities that I feel like Mickey generally has. There are probably more, especially ones more specific to certain interpretations, but these are the ones I was able to come up with. As nice as Mickey is, he isn't perfect and his insecurities, overthinking, stubbornness, and curious nature tend to get him in trouble. But fortunately, he is also just as capable of getting out of trouble.

I would honestly love to see other people thoughts on this as well.

[byfulcrums]

Things that have definitely been said in YJ (the Cartoon)

M'gann: WAIT WALLY DON'T EAT- that....

Kaldur: Wally, that was a highly dangerous and toxic object. You should go immediately to the hospital

Wally, with his mouth full of one of M'gann's failed attempts at mixing martian and human cuisine: Mmmhph????

The team: *Arguing*

Tim, whispering to himself: We don't kill we don't kill we don't kill we don't kill we don't kill-

Kaldur: Your opinion is valid, yes, but given it is a stupid ass opinion, I have elected to ignore it

Wally, following Artemis around the place, gesturing wildly: Yeah but if you add water to water it grows, right? It makes sense, Artemis, it makes sense–

Artemis, covering her ears and groaning: *Whispers* I hate every single one of you

Dick, filming the whole thing: *Snorts and accidentally chokes on his saliva, causing him to fall on the floor coughing like crazy*

Conner, having just walked into the room: ...Nope. Bye. I'm leaving this team

Artemis: Honestly I think Dick Grayson is way better than Bruce Wayne

M'gann: He's also more handsome, not gonna lie...

Wally: *Laughing his ass off on the floor*

Dick, curled up inside the vents, holding his head with his hands: Worthless... you are all worthless...

Conner, unaware of heterosexuality because CADMUS didn't teach him all that stuff: Wait, girl's aren't supposed to like girls? And boys aren't supposed to love boys? But I thought humans were called ‘homosapiens’

Zatanna: Oh my god-

Wally: I'm so smart. The smartest person here, if you will

Artemis: ...“sHoULdN't wE cAll sTrAiGht pEoPlE hEtERoSaPiEnS?”

Wally: Shut up shut up shutupshutup SHUT UP-

Kaldur, sighing: I just- I just want to know why you threw Wally off the mountain

Conner: Wally dared me to. It was consensual

Kaldur: Conner that doesn't make it any better.

Zatanna: I have decided to blame every kind of emotional instability I've having on my period. I don't have it yet, but I'm about to, so it counts

Kaldur: *Sigh* What did you do

Kaldur: Wally GET OFF THE CEILING honestly I should not have to say that...

Jaime: Fuck.

Bart: Double fuck.

Both of them at the same time: Triple fucking fuck

Wally: Hey, who's the stupidest one here?

Everyone else: You

Wally: Oh

Wally: And that's how you finish this equation!

Artemis: Wait you know science?

Wally: ...yes? Did you think I didn't go to school?

Artemis: No, no, it's just that if I had to think of someone who is an expert in science I wouldn't think of you

Wally: Well that's just rude. Hey M'gann, do I look like I didn't go to school?

Artemis: I didn't say you didn't go to-

Conner, immediately appearing: Yes

Wally:

Zatanna: Oh yeah! I remember when a branch on fire almost fell on me. We were camping. It was a big branch.

Zatanna:

Zatanna: I almost died.

Dick, didn't get any sleep in two days: Milk is... bone juice. Calcium...

Wally, also didn't get any sleep in two days: I feel like I should be concerned about that statement but honestly I'm interested

M'gann, who cannot stand being around them while they're sleep deprived: Both of you. Sleep. Now. Please

Dick: Baby

Tim: What

Dick: Baby... baby brother. Baby

Tim: No

Jason, has been Robin for almost three months now, training with the team and having to pretend to be a ‘villain’: I will hold your decapitated head in front of your weeping mother and hang it on her ceiling so that you will never get any rest even after death! :D

The team:

Wally: Dick, what are you feeding this child?

Kaldur after Wally and Dick pranked the team: Violence is not the question nor the answer, but sometimes we must take drastic measures

Kaldur, handing Jason a sword: This is war.

[verdemoun]

I'm still thinking. Hosea is a grandfather. A grandpa, if you will. There's Isaac, the boy he barely saw before timewarp, the boy he actually *watched* grow up. And Jack. Oh, Jack. (I am so normal about him.) The bright boy running around camp, turned into this. Just as emotionally fucked up as John and Arthur were at his age. And then there's timewarp kids, and then he figures out Jack had a younger sister. How does he handle THAT???

yes. y es i thought abt jack and hosea. because yes i fuckinf think jack would happily put up with hoseas bs. that is his grandpa and grandpa loves him.

oh fuck you you can't attack me in the feels like that and not expect an immediate reply covid has your brain cOOKING. sorry john + abigail jack is actually my son my baby my blorbo

If dad Hosea is intense, papa Hosea is willing to resort to the lowest honor tactics to protect his grandbabies. Like mama grizzly bear to the extreme: he might look the part of sweet old man but he will murder someone with his bare hands if they even LOOK at his grandbabies wrong.

He actually prefers being called Uncle Hosea because he loathes reminders of how old he is (even though growing old is something he is very, very grateful for). Isaac looked him dead in the eye when Hosea tried to correct him and said 'no I am calling you Pa and that's that'. He also calls Bessie Meemaw. Everyone else calls him Uncle Hosea but Isaac has that Morgan stubbornness.

Also Isaac is finally old enough for the 'yeah your dad was an outlaw and all those strange timewarp people are fellow gang members' and is immediately eyes sparkling. Knows outlaw bad but also how cool is that?? He will excitedly sit at Hosea's feet to hear stories about the old days and of course Hosea loves telling very true and not exaggerated tales of their adventures.

Between having no understanding of modern currency and economics and also the excitement of having a grandchild he gets to see whenever he wants because not running for lives anymore, Hosea is the worst when it comes to spoiling his grandbabies second only to Bessie.

Isaac, going from being raised by a 90% of the time solo parent to having such a massive family in the gang, loves all of them so much. Suddenly having grandparents for school events and those dumb family tree assignments. Isaac also inherited the theatrics genes. He's doing a video interview about Hosea's career and of course Hosea is just telling stories about scams and cons he ran but Isaac's in full old timey interviewer garb newsie cap on microphone and clipboard.

Isaac slamming the door at Arthur's fuck you I'm going to Pa's house when he's grounded. Arthur calling to say he's grounded do not spoil him send him home asap and Hosea merrily agreeing only to cut to Isaac getting cake and coffee while they play dominos. Hosea blindly agrees that Arthur is taking him getting suspended a second time far too seriously.

Old man bawling getting to hold baby Maeve. Sean trying to tell him to stop because he's going to wake her up but Hosea is the softest bastard when it comes to babies.

Emotionally ruined to find out Jack has a younger sister but also she was the first Marston to die and so young. He is always the first to offer to babysit and it was a very common occurrence to find her sitting on his lap drifting off as he reads to her. Practices her reading with her and plays tea parties with actual tea and does voices for different characters obsessed with playing with his smaller grandkids.

BUT HOSEA AND JACK. Hosea has been through the emotionally fucked teen outlaw gig so many times he is an expert. He knows when Jack needs space or to talk or company before Jack does.

As easy as it is to focus on that damage all that trauma and emotions and just darkness Jack carries with him, Hosea still sees their little prince.

The sheer emotion of knowing how much reading came to mean to Jack. The hurt but comfort of knowing that Jack, even if he didn't remember Hosea as clearly as Hosea remembers him, held onto something Hosea helped him with and gave him so tightly. How he read so much Abigail teased him despite how proud she was of the life he was going to have before everything turned to shit.

When Jack is still adjusting and understandably awkward and also mentally not coping, Hosea showed him their expansive private collection of books and saw the way Jack's eyes lit up. They both finally have someone to talk to books about.

Not only Jack lighting up a little like a candle being exposed to oxygen again but actually laughing as Hosea starts stacking books he recommends in his arms. Hosea being excited to talk about books without spoiling them also also just so excited to see that bright little boy is still in there.

Catching Jack curled up on what is usually his reading chair, book still in hand but fast asleep. Remembering the first times Arthur, and John, and Tilly and all those troubled young outlaws they picked up along the way felt comfortable enough to sleep around him, and knowing deep down Jack is going to be okay.

[dovand]

i am as always thinking about 14 and the nobles... specifically 14 & shaun. CRIMINAL lack of 14 & shaun content . excuse me that is my emotional support deranged lovers-in-law prongs of a queerplatonic throuple V. that is my little scrinkly wet cat and his chill saint bernard friend. that is my symbiotic relationship weirdos who sleep back-to-back to 14 can a) leech his body heat b) cuddle donna c) not fall off the bed. that is my favourite “both wake up early but one of them is being clung to like they are a teddy bear and it is Not Shaun, who is making ‘too bad’ faces at 14 and tiptoeing away” dynamic.

(14 either ends up dozing again after he wakes up early or just lays there curled up thinking—but, either way, when shaun shows up with breakfast in bed every sunday, he is treated to the beautiful sight of the two huge autism creature eyes peering up at him from behind the most bedraggled mop of hair ever seen. whether there are any thoughts behind those eyes depends on whether their owner has been napping or Pondering)

(yes this is all made up in my head!!! yes i am dismayed by there only being FOUR FICS (4!!) using it as a tag and none of them (afaict) doing it in a qpr way. where is my deranged weirdplatonic polycule!!!)

further insanity under the cut pleasseee please please read. please i need to be insane about this with people

(also btw this post is about queerplatonic doctordonna, doctordonna shippers i love you and you are welcome to contribute but it is a Little squicky for me so if tag ur additions (so i have a heads-up) that would be so lovely and i would adore you forever <3)

shaun likes listening to people ramble and 14 likes rambling so it is a regular occurrence to find the two of them like. standing in the kitchen holding cups of tea except one of them is actually drinking the tea and one of them is talking too rapidly about equivalent exchange to remember to blink, let alone have a sip of earl gray that has veered violently past lukewarm and is headed straight for room temperature

if 14 is in a not-wordy mood tho… thru shaun’s expert tutelage he has mastered the art of the Dad Nod. he passes shaun in the hall and gives him a little nod. shaun gives him one back. 0 words are spoken but they understand each other on a deeper level than if there had been.

they go on a Family Outing to a thrift store. rose and donna disappear to the dressier sections. shaun creeps along the racks of trousers, solemnly comparing seemingly identical pairs of jeans. 14 follows him and stares for a while, then silently hands him a loudly patterned pair of shorts. shaun takes them without question and adds them to his basket & sylvia loses her mind just a little bit when she sees him wearing them

(^ this inspired by going thrifting w my friend and looking @ everything and then finding her dad looking thru the racks of shorts comparing two beige ones, and my friend handing him a pair of pink shorts with penguins on and him buying them. because he has some . i think plaid shorts? at home and when he wore them his wife said he looked gay. so he’s trying to do it More) (it's an incredible family dynamic there. i have no idea what is going on)

god jesus. 14 learns how to cook so he can be the housething (as opposed to housewife or househusband. he is just a weirdgenderthing. little creature). someone buys him a nice apron and he wears it with so much delight. chases everyone else out of the kitchen so he can concoct something lovely. runs out into the garden to stick something into an oven in the tardis kitchen because “i am not working with enough ovens, here, people!”. organises the pantry and gets this crazed look if anyone tries to stop him. “how will i know where things a—” “it will be LABELLED.” brandishes a label maker that DEFINITELY is not from modern-day earth given that it seems to take dictation as input and can print in colour and has not needed a refill of paper even though he has extensively labelled EVERY PLASTIC BOX of stuff in the pantry

sometimes he gets into Moods where he needs to solve a problem before it makes his head explode and that used to be a like. tinkering in the tardis thing. where he’d have himself and whatever poor companion he was with just floating in the time vortex for a week while he tries to make this bit of the tardis do what he wants it to. now it’s a day or two spent almost entirely in the kitchen trying to find the scientifically optimal method by which to make meringues. he starts gesturing dramatically with a spatula forgetting it is not a sonic screwdriver. makes a sonic spatula. realises he doesn’t often need to like. scan a pancake for malware. sadly puts the sonic spatula away

he is absolutely a nightmare to watch movies with btw bc a) can’t sit still b) so tall. either he is bouncing his leg and shaking the whole couch or he is stretched out across the entire sofa. no in between. donna buys a thick rug so he can just lay on the floor. the rug is TOO comfortable and he starts just spending time laying on the floor which would be fine if he thought to turn the lights on because people keep almost stepping on him while he’s having 4am Floor Time (on the nights he's not drooling all over donna's pillow)

if anyone else has thoughts about Them PLEASe share i will love you so much and forever. doctor~donna/shaun weirdcule is the only thing in my head