#as always theres like 10 ideas and none of them are developed

[its-shells]

“There’s a joke here somewhere, you know,” fWhip says, behind him. “A goblin and a toy walk through a rift…”

Jimmy has heard the footsteps, but he is startled by his voice nonetheless, snapping to attention in that way that would’ve caused his hat to fall all funny and crooked over his eyes if he were still wearing it. He’s sitting on one of the benches by Scar’s flowerbeds, the ones that have shriekers hidden beneath them, he’d learned that one the hard way, and watching the sun as it sets over the main street of an amusement park his deputy had rambled to him about during late nights in Tumble Town. It’s strange, to see it with his own eyes when he’d half-convinced himself that Scar was making it all up, that he had nowhere to go back to and so no reason to leave. But here it is, and it is beautiful. How Jimmy misses having reasons to fault people for things.

“‘M not a toy,” he says after a pause, lazily. FWhip hops over the bench and settles down next to him, blue hoodie and ginger hair and Jellie ears headband and all. Jimmy really wants to say he looks unfamiliar.

“Well, not here you aren’t,” fWhip shrugs, giving him a once-over. “Wonder why. Seriously, this server has dwarfs, and slimes, and everything… wonder what it’s got against my ears.”

“Is it weird?” Jimmy asks, half to carry on the conversation, half because he’s curious. It stopped being weird for him approximately ten minutes in, but that’s because he’d never really gotten used to the whole – cotton in his lungs, a foot or so away from the ground thing. That wasn’t him, not really, just a joke taken too far in a world that doesn’t understand jokes. But fWhip is a goblin, proudly, he collects gold and lives in caves and stuff. FWhip is a goblin, except when he is a human, apparently. Does this server also not understand jokes? Or does it understand them too well?

FWhip shrugs again. “Not really,” he says, honestly, as far as Jimmy can tell. “I mostly forget when I’m not around mirrors. I mean, I’m a bit taller, and when I raise my arms, they’re not–“ he squints and lifts a hand to cover the setting sun in front of them – “green, but for the most part, it’s alright.” He chuckles. “Maybe that’s weird.”

“Maybe.”

“Is it weird for you?”

“Nope.”

“Figures.” FWhip shifts slightly on the bench. Jimmy isn’t looking at him, but he catches the sidelong glance thrown his way. “You like it?”

“The server? It’s got pretty builds.”

It wasn’t a question about the server, and they both know it, but fWhip doesn’t deign to correct him. Jimmy inclines his head slightly, inspecting the cobblestone pavement beneath his feet. It reaches just up to the edge of the bench and no further, because Scar built it, and Scar is nothing if not detail-oriented. When terraforming, at least.

FWhip is staying in his hotel, just off of main street. Personal invitation, he hears. Jimmy is… well, he might build his own place.  

Or go live with Grian, but that’s, like, the last resort. The man is living in a giant rock. Jimmy has standards.

“The rift is open, you know,” fWhip says. “Everyone might just decide to go back soon.”

They might. Though they probably won’t – they’ve never been anything less than a curious bunch, to their own detriment, and Jimmy knows for a fact that at least two of their friends are still carrying a grudge about all that skulk under their bases, even if Pix had offered to clean it out (for them, not for him yet.) It’s prime time to plot in retaliation, or maybe to take part in whatever Christmas plans the hermits are whispering to each other about through chat, Pearl and Grian off to build a sleigh that will undoubtedly look as beautiful as anything they’ve ever touched. Jimmy wonders what Christmas is like on here.

“I doubt it,” he says. “I mean, an eye for an eye, right? We have to get revenge for the inconvenience.”

The inconvenience of him getting an entire villager trading hall, or of fWhip getting an entire minecart system between the segments of his base. The inconvenience of farms, more efficient than anything they’ve ever built themselves, and of sorted inventories, and of a colourful hat, and laughter.

The inconvenience of a killer robot, he reminds himself. Stuff’s fair, actually.

“That we do,” fWhip agrees. “But at least it’s open, so we’re not stuck. Think it’ll put us back to how we ought to be?”

Jimmy watches the sun set over the horizon, and says nothing.

[opossumanonymous]

How did he get in this mess?

Warnings: Inko literally uses her quirk to pull out AFOs pubic hair because I don't think anything else would immobilize him temporarily, talk of inko using her quirk to pull organs, guns mentioned

I wrote this on my phone so sorry if anything looks funky for computer users. If I made any mistakes or any characters are too ooc please tell me. Also this is a fanfic featuring AFO as Midoriya Hizashi and Inko as a ex-Black Widow and mostly features them please enjoy!~

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How did he get in this mess, face kissing the floor and completely caught off guard?

Hizashi wasn't quite sure himself actually. One minute he was doing some 'work' before he heard the voice of his wife over his shoulder.

"Hizashi, what are you doing?"

Then he was on the floor a nearly blinding pain spread over his body leaving him in fetal position unable to think of nothing else.

Once his mind got clear again he turned his head to the side looking up at the woman who he thought was his wife. Her usually gentle smile was gone leaving a cold look on her face as she read through his files. One of her hands out stretched towards him while the other clicked through the computer.

Which made him briefly realize he may have to put plan B into action but before that he had to know if this was his wife or someone else. Last thing he wanted was to do something reckless if this wasn't his wife.

"Who-" Before Hizashi could utter a word he felt another painful pull causing him to ball up even further trying to somehow ease the pain. He choked on air as Inko? Stared at him with a blank expression now turned away from the computer. She crossed her legs as she watched him wither in pain looking at with him cold emotionless green eyes.

Who was this woman she can't be Inko! It gave him brief fear realizing that a shape-shifting spy might have tricked him somehow. After all theres no way his sweet wife could ambush him, let alone be capable of hurting him this badly! But if this is someone with a shape-shifting quirk there's no way they would also have wife's quirk as well. Unless they can copy the quirks of people they shape-shift into but then-

"So was this what you were doing while I was comforting our son?"

His eyes widened at that realization, it hit Hizashi hard as he broke out in a cold sweat. He looked up at Inko who still had that chilling look on her face making Hizashi for the first time in 200 years feel...afraid.

He didn't know whether to be impressed at her or disgusted in himself, him, All for One, the symbol of evil, the villain who has brought many heros and villains alike to their knees is...afraid? It sounds unreal just thinking about it that someone could still scare him.

Not by much but still it was a feat that no one before her had done in a long time.

He felt like he was getting whiplash knowing that the same woman who cooked him breakfast nearly every morning, who cried at anything sad or happy, and cuddled up to him at night was looming over him like some villain.

"Hizashi speak up your mumbling." She spoke harshly as he felt another pull, he's starting to lose feeling in his legs.

"I already knew." He said breathless feeling defeated almost, yet another feat none before her had accomplished. He could almost hear his brother laughing from his grave at this point. "What?" Her forehead wrinkled the cold look leaving her face for a moment making her look more like the Inko he knew.

"I checked Izuku years ago, I had my suspicions when he didn't develop his quirk after he turned 5. While I can't tell what a quirk is if I don't know it, I can sense them." He told her truthfully "When I reached into his subconscious one night after I tucked him in bed, I found no sign of a quirk." He knew their was a chance Izuku would be quirkless anyway, Hizashi was from the first generation of quirk users after all.

But he would never give his son a quirk, no he's not going to let history repeat itself, if there's anything he's learned in his 200 years of life it's never give your hero loving relatives a quirk.

Plus being a hero is 10 times more dangerous now, no thanks to him, he'd rather his precious son live quirkless.

Despite the ridicule quirkless people get from society atleast he won't ever get badly hurt or worse killed. Luckily Hizashi had a back up plan just in case he needed to protect his family from themselves.

But seeing Inko looming above him is starting to make him think about adding more reinforcements to the vault. After all she's not so much of a gullible woman like he once thought she was.

"I see but that doesn't change anything, you weren't there for our baby when he needed you most. That's why after this you're going to march into our sons room and comfort him like a good father should." He almost winched at her harsh tone. He honestly didn't know if he should be scared or not. He did still have an arsenal of quirks he could use but none that were non lethal from a long range he could use on her.

"And if I don't, what will you do?" He was curious in all honesty after all it's not every day your usually gentle and emotional wife does a 360 degree personality change on you.

"Then I'll keep ripping out your pubic hairs till you comply." He felt a slight tug again at the slight flick of her wrist causing him to flinch.

He had felt tempted to challenge her, now realizing it was a mistake seeing as she has him by the balls...literally.

"And if you try anything...well you'll be surprised at how many organs count as a small objects." She said with a chilling smile which he almost hates to admit made him flinch.

He always knew her quirk was suspicious despite only being limited to small objects it could still be a deadly quirk if used right. The number of deadly weapons considered small objects was big and considering she only needs a vague idea of where an object is located to pull it to her which includes organs...Hizashi's starting to realize he didn't really know his wife like he thought he did.

After all who would've guessed his sweet Inko would use her quirk so...creatively. He nodded, head still pressed to the hard wood floor of his office.

Inko gave a sigh of relief as she genuinely smiled running her hand through her green locks. "Good I'm glad we could come to an agreement." Hizashi felt the release of her quirk as she sat back legs still crossed.

He slowly sat on all fours before rising to his knees still feeling phantom pains with each slight movement.

Once he was on his knees he wrapped his arms around her waist laying his head in her stomach. She gently caressed his head of white curls causing him to sink further into her and let out a content hum. After a while he looked up at her, the cold look on her face gone now taking a more softer expression.

"I knew you where a villain since the first week after we got married." Hizashi didn't think Inko could shock him anymore but that honestly got him, and yet again she conquered another feat.

He would have never guessed that she knew about him being a villain before now. "Honestly I felt like I got rusty since I found out so late, but I guess living a normal civilian life will make anyone like that." She smiled gently at him looking more like the Inko he knew. Or atleast thought he knew, she was one of the most ordinary people he met from her average nursing job to her adorable naiveté at times.(which he now knows was probably just an act) She played him like a fiddle, he underestimated her and made him fall even harder for her.

That's right, he didn't think it was possible to love her even more than he already did, but this moment proved that wrong.

"Wait then if you knew why did you stay and why wait until now to bring it up?"

She furrowed her eyebrows again before turning her head away from him thinking about her answer for a second before looking back. "I'm not exactly who I said I was either..." She trailed off with a far away look in her eyes almost like she was looking through him and not at him.

He took her hand which had stopped rubbing his head and brought it to his cheek. This seemed to help her focus again as she gave him a tired smile.

"I'm not a good person either Hizashi I've done alot of things that I now regret." For a moment he guessed that she was an ex-villain that he'd just never heard of.

Although that was very unlikely seeing as he liked to keep tabs on most high profile villains to find anyone with good...potential. Inko definitely wasn't a low class villain she just didn't fit the profile of a bank robber or common street thug. Her aura gave off a more experienced air to it not to mention no low class villain would have the guts to look him in the eye once finding out who he really is.

"I was once apart of an organization who specialized in training those considered...unless in society." The way she said useless held a malice to it despite her still having a smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"They kidnapped me and many other young girls most of them either being quirkless or having 'weak' quirks." Quirkless trafficking while rare nowadays still went on but he'd never heard of an organization making quirkless people assassins. Wlep there's a first time for everything he guessed.

"They trained and raised all of us to be assassins, to put it simply, they chose us because they knew we'd be underestimated."

Assassins? If someone had told him is lovely wife was secretly an assassin he'd laugh in their face before killing them for saying such a thing. But now after being brought to his knees by her he honestly isn't surprised, at this point he'd believe anything that came out of her mouth. She could tell him she could kill someone with only a plastic spoon and he'd believe her.

"I was one of the lucky ones i was able to escape before my 'graduation' if you could call it that. I was even able to find my birth certificate after months of digging through missing persons reports." She now went back to stroking his white curls as she spoke.

"After escaping I decided to live the life my mother wanted me to or at least I like to think she'd want me to." He knew she was an orphan, she'd told him that on their second date he never thought much about it.

He never even really looked into her mother much either only knowing that she died when Inko was young and that she was Nana Shimura's sister. When he found this out at first he was suspicious but over time he let his guard down, if that was a mistake is still up for debate.

"They called us Black Widows." He'd heard that name before but it's been so long, last time he heard the words Black Widow he was reading a comic book to his sick brother. It's either unoriginal or genius considering most will only think of the comic book hero Black Widow opposed to it being a real organization.

Finally getting the feeling back in his legs he stood up stretching slightly while she watched him. He stared down at her now that he had the high ground it was time to give her what she deserved.

He leaned down towards her his hands coming up to her face menacingly. But she just sat there unfazed with a serene look on her face, their was no real use in trying she knew he wouldn't hurt her. He held her face as he leaned in and gave her lips a gentle kiss.

After pulling away he took her hand and helped her out of his office chair. "Now time to go see about Izuku hopefully I can get him out of his depressed mood."

Giving her a true smile only reserved for his family he lead her out of his office not before shutting down his computer and locking the door.

"Yes please talk to him because I didn't know what to do than to apologize to him." She sighed clearly distressed. "While it has been a long time since I escaped somethings I still just don't know the right words for." She looked defeated like she didn't just have Japan's greatest villain nearly kissing her feet.

"It's fine darling soon Izuku will go back to being that happy kid again, you'll see." He gave her a final kiss before heading to Izukus room ready to help his son or else face the wraith of his wife.

He briefly wondered just how good of an assassin his wife is and just how many she's killed. But quickly shook those thoughts away as he entered his son's All Might themed room.

While he'd never ask her anything more about her past as a Black Widow he soon came to realize she was highly skilled as he watched his son on TV.

He was watching UAs sports festival with Tomura at his current hideout the boy exclaiming in shock at this year's winner.

The one to take first place was UAs first quirkless student Midoriya Izuku who took out the competition with only a pair of electroshock bracelets as wepons.

Not to say that it was only the support tools that secured his win, the way he bended dodging attacks and hit his opponents with devastating blows to the head made him nearly laugh out loud.

It was almost hard to believe that this was the same kind boy he once tucked in bed but he had to admit his son was quite reckless.

He's in all honesty proud of his son especially for beating Mizuki's brat whose bullied his poor son for years. While he isnt happy that his son's well on his way to being a hero atleast Inko trained him well.

Just how did Hizashi get in this mess he'd hoped quirklessness would make his son reconsider being a hero but it seems Inko had other plans.

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Extras:

So originally Inko was gonna hold him at gun point but I felt like AFO wouldn't be sacred of a gun so....

Also Inko has wepons (mostly guns) hidden in every wall in the apartment after all you never know when the red room might strike.

Inko still gets chubby but not from stress over Izuku being quirkless it's more so over the red room possibly finding him and taking him. She's still bad ass tho, can kill anyone with a just plastic spoon.

She also ran away from the red room before they could sterilize her.

Izuku does eventually get One for all but it's after the sports festival instead, tho he does still parade as a quirkless hero even after One for all.

He also is a vigilante on the side under the name Black Widow tho most think he's a girl because of the Black Widow reference. He even wears his mom's old Black Widow suit.

You could say he's hero Deku by day and vigilante Black Widow by night!

AFO totally knows it's him tho because he knows Inko wouldn't be that reckless or feral.

Izuku has no idea his loving father is AFO but knows his mom's an ex-assassin.

[daydream-believin]

Never-Ending Roadtrip (Autumn in New York, pt 1)

Summary: (ch 1)  (ch 10) Reader joins Douxie in the quest for Nari’s safety. He’ll need company won’t he? - chapter 9) new york tourism and some relaxation for a stressed-out emo wizard

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol mention, implied nudity (just a bath)

Word Count: 3542

A/n: Go listen to ‘autumn in new york’ by ella fitzgerald and louis armstrong to set the mood for this chapter and the next lol. i do like lovecore i promise. also this was going to be it but ive split it up. enjoy

Douxie was very careful to take inventory. One head, two head, dragon head, his own head. All accounted for. Four heads, no more no less. Not even a pesky stowaway gnome. His family was together. Up in the air, on the ship, winding blowing through their hair. Douxie could see sky scrapers on the horizon.

The trolls had been cordial in their goodbyes, but made no effort in giving the impression that they wanted the wizard family to stay any longer than they had. In fact, it was discouraged if not outright. The trolls almost gave off an aura of relief when they faded from view of the settlement. But that was understandable. Douxie’s family had caused a bit of trouble during their stay.

Bagdwella was certain that Archie was a bad omen for her shop and would freak out whenever he tried to enter. Y/n had been a bit confused and tried to explain to her that black cats were in fact supposed to bring wealth, not financial ruin, but apparently Bagdwella had been thinking of an old trollish superstition about dragons instead. Y/n had no counter to that.

Nari had no real knowledge of how money worked, and was determined to make that Douxie’s problem. And the problem of all the trolls in the shops of the town. There was a bit of a problem with her “dining and dashing” in the pub, the one troll eatery in the still developing town. Poor thing had no idea food costs money. Someone had always been around to feed her. Douxie and Y/n almost couldn’t keep up with the demand of sweaty socks they had to produce in order to pay the annoyed barman. Turns out it was somewhat hard to make sweaty socks when you’re actually trying to. It was like their feet realized what was happening and couldn’t pass up an attempt to make their owner’s lives harder.

As much as dear Y/n prided herself on being tolerant, she and Dictatious were going round and round. It was easier to ignore the guy when she didn’t have to live in close quarters with him but that luxury was lost on this stay in Trollmarket. Y/n and Dic argued every time they were in close proximity. She couldn’t help it. The old troll had opinions, and those opinions were wrong. And don’t even get Y/n started on how sad and then angry he made Blinky feel with the whole dead, wait not dead just an evil traitor, wait now he’s okay somewhat, thing. And his personality was shit. Peace was never an option.

Needless to say the trolls were in fact happy to send off the wizards. Douxie was happy to no longer suddenly hear a clatter and then instantly get a headache knowing it was probably one of his problems. They had only been in Trollmarket a few days. Okay so a week, they had stayed there a week. It was only seven days. Eight actually. So to say, they hadn’t been there long enough to cause any real problems. And now they were headed to New York. New York New York.

Douxie was ready to get some quality romance in with his wife. Autumn in New York was perfect for that. The city streets glowed with life. A nice stroll down the sidewalks painted in golden light, arm in arm, carrying the warmth in their hearts and bodies with them, was just what they needed. There were lots of sights to see, and Y/n loved to see them. And it was heavily populated, which would make it safer. Safe was something greatly needed.

For some reason, ever since that one night in the forest, Doux had felt like watching his back. It was tiresome, always being on edge. Of course, he had been this whole trip. But recently it had been amplified. Douxie didn’t know if he was sensing the Order’s presence or if being wed had turned up his protective instincts up to an eleven, but it really would be fantastic to be in a safer environment. He was crossing his fingers New York was one.

Just outside of city limits, the boat was shrunken into a little toy and placed back inside of it’s bottle. The little bottle fit neatly in the backpack that Y/n was wearing. Everything fit neatly into the backpack that Y/n was wearing. It was charmed. Doux would rather it be in hers than his, just as a peace of mind. A quick getaway for her lest they ever be separated. He wasn’t too worried about himself. Nari clung to her side, so it would also be best to keep it with her in order to protect Nari. Yeah, that was totally the reason.

They hailed a cabbie and took it into the bustling city. Douxie had pulled a couple strings with his old buddies, and managed to get them an apartment to stay in. The owner wouldn’t be back for a few weeks, and was happy to have someone to house sit for her. Douxie was happy to have a roof over his family’s head he didn’t have to pay for. It was a win-win.

Y/n never stopped looking out the window the entire cab ride. Douxie thought her excitement was adorable. She had her arm stretched over Nari in the middle to be able to hold his hand. The veggie lady didn’t mind. She was also focused on the view out the windows, fascinated by the sheer number of cars and the heights of the tall buildings. Douxie could feel Y/n’s wedding ring as she squeezed his hand. It helped calm him.

This apartment was owned by a starlet. It was huge, for New York standards. It was really high up, which made Douxie a wee bit nervous. Eleventh floor. It was eccentrically decorated, with bright colors. There was a wall in the living space that was a floor-to-ceiling window, covered by pale pink curtains and strings of heart-shaped beads. The other walls had a wallpaper that was white with red rose motifs. The couch was bright cherry red, furry, and oddly shaped. The kitchen cabinets were painted hot pink, with frosted glass doors that bore a rose pattern. The refrigerator was also cherry red, with white and pink heart-shaped stickers stuck onto it. Everything was fucking red, white, or pink. It looked like Saint Valentine himself threw up. Douxie was afraid to see what the bedroom looked like.

Douxie checked the fridge. Yeah, it was empty, apart from the box of takeaway from who knows when and the three bottles of wine. To be expected, of a single young up-and-comer, one supposes. They would have to go get groceries. Archie was making biscuits on the fluffy surface of the couch. It was probably very soft, Douxie had yet to touch it himself. He was kind of afraid of it, to be honest. Nari seemed to also like it, and was spread out on the top, limbs hanging over the back of the couch. Y/n opened the curtains a bit and was staring out the window. Doux headed for the bedroom, to go see what they were working with.

The bedroom was not in any way tamer than the open living space, but at least it wasn’t as bad as Douxie was expecting with the ah, love theme this place had going. It could have been worse. It was fluffy, pink, and glittery, but at least it was rated PG. Apart from the heart-shaped bed, it looked like it could have been a dressing room. There was a vanity with lights ringing the mirror and one of those dressing screens in the corner with several feather boas hanging over it like some kind of cliché movie set. Douxie was setting his backpack down, as he sat on the side of the bed turned away from the door, when he heard someone go into the en suite. And then he heard various noises of,, happy surprise? Sounded like Y/n.

“DEWDROP! THERES A HEART-SHAPED TUB. A FUCKING HEART-SHAPED TUB. COME LOOK.”

Bleeding balroths. Douxie rolled his eyes as he stood up from the comfy feather mattress to go see what she was shouting at him about. The tiles that covered the bathroom were annoyingly pink. The air smelled like something he could only describe as pink. Sure enough, there was a heart-shaped tub like someone’s cheesy honeymoon suite, and his wife was already in it, despite it not having any water. She wore an all too familiar cheshire cat grin on her face. He had one word for this.

“No.”

“Whatever.” Y/n stuck her tongue out childishly. “You’ll change your mind tonight. You will join me in the incredibly fragrant heart-shaped bubble bath, Dewdrop. Mark my words.”

~ ~ ~ As a first stop on the itinerary, they decided on Central park. Some greenery for Nari. And for Y/n too. Trees were good for the soul and one should never spend too much time on concrete. Gave Archie something to scratch that was not the couch that they did not own. It was fine when he did it in Arcadia, their sofa was old and tattered anyways, but not here in the apartment they were housesitting.

Y/n claimed the walk through nature was necessary to restore the energy lost on the trip into the city. The walkways were paved, and Douxie had to really keep an eye on both Nari and Y/n, who should know better, from wandering off the path. Maybe he should get two baby leashes when they were to shop later. Occasionally they would pass by a café. Douxie was glad he was not working in one of those. This trip was a much-needed vacation, as stressful as it was.

A little ways in and they came across a pond, with a cute little bridge that the walkway went under. Douxie rubbed his hand over the stones as they walked through. It was worn, as many hands had also done so over the decades. This bridge, as old as the park itself, was still younger than him. And it had met so many more people than he could even fathom. Doux himself had met so many people over the years. He had been touched by many too, like this little bridge. And just like the people who touched this bridge, none of them quite knew the impact they would be leaving. What they were wearing down. He heard a happy squeal as Y/n and Nari made a sudden sprint ahead of him. Apparently, there were ducks in this pond.

The Met was just a few minutes’ walk from where they exited the park. Douxie was happy with the idea of a quiet art museum trip, that sounded peaceful and relaxing. He needed all the peaceful and relaxing he could get right now. Y/n was actually really excited about this one despite it being not that exciting of an activity. She was trying to psych up Nari. “It’ll be fun, we can pretend we’re a gang of art thieves and we’re doing recon for a heist.” The veggie lady had no idea what any of those words meant.

There were lots of paintings in the Met gallery. It contained multitudes. One painting, they passed as they walked down the corridors, Y/n stopped, transfixed, stared at the painting for a few minutes, and then carried on like nothing happened. She didn’t look particularly sad, or happy, just confused, like she was processing something. Douxie made a mental note to ask her about it later.

Next stop was a walk down Fifth Avenue. It’s not like they could afford to shop, but it was a must-do in NYC so they must-did. They walked holding hands with Nari in the middle like their child. She liked looking in all the window displays. Every so often she would stop to stare and they would tug her along. The trees lining the sidewalks presented their autumn colors. The oranges and golds gave the streets a cheery vibe.

They passed a few food trucks. The trucks were filling the air with various delicious aromas. Douxie’s stomach growled loudly. Y/n giggled and suggested they pick a truck for lunch. Douxie had his eye on a fish and chips truck. It didn’t make ‘em quite like you could get in London but it was trying. A for effort. Y/n thought it was fantastic. Douxie was just spoiled.

They made their way over to the Rockefeller Center, just around the corner. A short walk and Y/n had spotted a coffee shop. So now they were going to a coffee shop. Douxie couldn’t help it, she looked at him with such big eyes. What was he supposed to do, say no?

The coffee shop was warm, and much appreciated relief from the autumn chill that had taken over. And a nice warm drink was sorely needed. Y/n found a nice couch in the back of the shop. Douxie sunk in, deeper than he expected to be able to sink in, but it was an old couch sunk into by many people. It was cozy. The love of thousands made it the sofa the way that it was. Love had made it squishy, love had made it comfy. Speaking of love and squishy and comfy, Doux pulled his dear wife Y/n to his side in an embrace. Low-key cuddling on the coffee shop couch was the best part of Douxie’s day. Nice, relaxing, he needed this. He pressed a kiss to the top of Y/n’s hair.

The Top of the Rock is an observatory deck in Rockefeller Center. Very high up in the air, one can see a great view of the city skyline and get a peek at that famous empire state building. Archie didn’t really care about it, he could get aerial sights any time he wanted, so he took this time to take a nap. Y/n leaned close to the glass, amazed and getting slightly wooed by the city. Douxie slung his arm around her, and, under the guise of affection, pulled her a few steps back. She really was hell-bent on stopping his fragile heart. And then Nari just straight up put her hands, paws, on the glass and put her body weight on the window. Nope. Douxie made sure to ask her to step away from the glass nicely, lest he frighten her, but still tried to convey that what she was doing was something he saw as dangerous and it worried him. Doux was very happy when they were back on the ground.

Douxie liked people watching. So did Y/n. It was one of the things the used to do on weekends in Arcadia, strangely enough. It wasn’t weird. All those people, they all had lives of their own. They all had stories they were living, and it was interesting to glimpse just a small insignificant piece of it. Or sometimes even significant. It was always hard to tell as an outsider, whether or not an ordinary moment was really the turning point of someone’s life. NYC’s famous Times Square was perfect for people watching.

There was something odd about it. The square itself felt wrong. A hundred neon advertisements all at one time. Not an inch of surface didn’t bare the name of a brand. There was something profoundly sad about it. One might even go as far as say disgusting. And there were many, many signs and people. Douxie tried not to attempt to take it all in at once, lest he risk sensory overload. The sun had already set, the brightly lit signs were brighter than ever. There were so many people around them. There were some buskers, some even playing at the same time, so the music clashed. Perhaps there was too much life here. It was loud, and Doux liked loud, but he liked harmonious loud, like music and excitement, not the chaotic loud that surrounded him. He made sure he could see Nari, that she was close to them. Douxie squeezed Y/n’s hand. He thought maybe he should just pay attention to her, tune out everything else. The lights made a brilliant halo around her gorgeous face as she turned to him. The beautiful goddess he called his wife’s eyes searched his, and she noticed he was not so comfy.

“C’mon, let’s go get some dinner.”

They walked away from the square for a few minutes, putting some distance between them and it’s light, before coming across a pizza place for dinner. It was good. The classic, New York slice. And it was pizza. Y/n would admit, it wasn’t special. She actually liked the pizza from the local pizza place in Arcadia Oaks way better. Douxie and Archie agreed with her. But don’t tell any New Yorker’s that. The main thing is that they got a nice dinner, and it helped Douxie calm down. There were only a few other people in the restaurant. The booth they were in was off to the side, away from everything. Y/n stroked Douxie’s palm with her thumb. Archie sat in his lap and purred. He appreciated them.

They’d had a long day. It was best to get home. Once opening up the cherry red door the valentine’s day décor assaulted their eyes once again. This would be okay for the time being but Douxie had no idea how someone could dwell here full time. As he plopped down on the furry couch, he noticed for the first time the numerous little cherub figurines that littered every available surface. It might be interesting to meet this starlet one day. She seemed to have a cupid schtick going. She probably looked the part too.

As soon as they crossed the threshold, Y/n had made a sneaky beeline for the bathroom and that honeymoon suite style tub. Douxie rolled his eyes fondly and scoffed from his place on the sofa when he heard the water turn on. Of course. He supposed he could use some extra relaxing. But she’d feel like she won. Y/n was gonna make a big deal out of this, he could feel it.

Miss starlet had an unhealthy amount of soap bottles filling the storage space in the bathroom. A dragon hoard of fancy scented soaps. As fun as pouring some various vividly colored, strong and flowery goops into the tub and pretending it was a potion would be, and it would be, Y/n opted to find some more calming aromas for poor Doux. Lavender, lemongrass, and jasmine, were what she was on the hunt for. She managed to find both lavender and jasmine soaps, and a lavender candle. No lemongrass. But Y/n wouldn’t have held her breath on that one. It wasn’t exactly glamorous or glittery.

With the water hot, bubbles high, candles lit, Y/n had crafted a very romantic and relaxing evening. She stood back to admire her work for a moment before going to go get Douxie. He was laying across the couch, using his crossed arms as a pillow, with Archie snoozing on his chest, when she found him.

“Sorry Arch. Find a different pillow for the night?” The dragon-cat understood. That didn’t stop him from throwing a look at the two as he settled back down into the couch’s fluff.

Ignoring Archie, Y/n took Douxie by the hand as she led him back into the room she had set up. The air smelled very strongly of lavender. The pink of the tiles was muted in the dim light, which Douxie was thankful for. Then he noticed the giant fucking mountain of bubbles Y/n had turned the bath into. He supposed she wanted him to get in that. Somehow. They’d have to be careful not to accidentally choke on any bubbles.

Douxie let out a little groan as he slid into the bath. The hot water felt great on his tense muscles, he had to admit. He was feeling better, and more relaxed. He certainly wasn’t anywhere near as stressed as he was in time square anymore, but the tension of this strange combination vacation/flee-for-their-lives-trip was taking its toll on the master wizard. He wouldn’t put it past his hair to start greying soon. A wizard was only ever as old as they felt, after all. And boy, did Douxie’s bones feel old. He laid his head back and closed his eyes. No worries right now. He was safe, Nari was safe, Archie was safe, Y/n was safe. Y/n was right beside him, so extra safe too.

“So, how’s it going.” Y/n laughed at Douxie getting a little lost in the hot water sauce.

“Nuclear.” Douxie opened his eyes to take in his wife’s pretty face he just knew was smiling, he could hear it in her voice. Doux pulled Y/n into his embrace and against his chest. She rested her head on his shoulder. “Thanks. I- I guess I sort of maybe needed this.”

Y/n snickered. “Of course you did. Remember, I’ll always be here to take care of you.” She brought his hand up and kissed his knuckles. “Always, Mr. Casperan.”

“And that goes the same for you, I’ll always take care of you, Mrs. Casperan.”

[rowdeyclown]

i want to hear about your pokemon ideas!

oh man this is a dangerous question bc i am about to go OFF so i'll just leave this in a read more. also keep in mind i have only played platinum, moon/ultra moon, sword, and a little bit of red and lets go eevee, so if i accidentally steal something from another game whoops. also i do have a lot of inspiration from the games i played here anyway since i am less knowledgeable abt pokemon than most people but anyway here we go

setting: several years prior to the start of the game, as low as 18 or high as 100 years (i have specific reasons for that) this region was very prosperous with many young people moving in all the time to get a headstart on a successful life. the region is known for being nearly a perfect circle and there are 18 areas of the region, each corresponding to a different type. dead center is normal type, maybe i'll make a map later if i get more interested. by the time the story takes place however, the region has become uninhabitable and anyone who didn't evacuate died. for now im calling it Ebril

legendary: part of what once made ebril so prosperous was the presence of their legendary. idk the exact type of creature it is but it was worshipped as a god and protected the land. however an unknown sickness fell over it and it let out an explosion of energy across the whole region that turned each area into a hellscape. for example, the water region completely flooded over; the grass region sprouted dangerous plants everywhere that so much as touching them could kill a person; the fire region literally just lit up on fire and hasn't burned out, and so on. not only this but the air of the whole place is toxic, though the poison air is like 5 times worse. after this explosion the legendary disappeared, and ebril was completely abandoned. it's later revealed that the legendary has died.

characters: at the start of the game there are few people in the region. in fact there are exactly 4, and they all flew in from different regions.

the leader is one Professor Pine, a young professor from wherever the fuck probably new york with ancestors from ebril. she's always been fascinated with the region and decided to start figuring out a way to fix the place and make it habitable again. with her studies she figures out there's a chance to save it and so she contacts the professors of all regions with the request to help, though only 3 other people were sent in to help due to the dangers of this journey.

the player character(s) are both present in the game, a pair of twins named Jade and Grey. their names are puns on the word jaded and the phrase old and gray. the twins hail from kanto, the region the first games took place in iirc, and the player character u choose went on a pokemon journey at age 10. at present time they are anywhere around 18-20 bc theres no way any reasonable person is gonna let a minor into this apocalyptic region. the twin you don't choose at age 10 rather than taking a pokemon journey started working as an assistant to Professor Oak, and as an adult starts studying to become the next professor. the twin you choose had their journey and got all the way through until the elite 4 which they never beat, and for several years in frustration swore off battling. eventually they couldn't resist the call to the world of pokemon they used to love and they start working as an assistant alongside their twin. when Oak is contacted by Pine he initially refuses to help, but the twins find out and volunteer to go. Oak doesn't want them to but in the end he doesn't stop them.

the fourth member of the expedition is the former champion of some region who just got knocked off their throne by some 10 year old. they serve as the rival of this game. like the twins they found out about this expedition and with nothing better to do they decided to join in just to Feel Something. unlike the twins they never told anyone they were going.

starters: at the beginning the starter is actually either charizard, venusaur, or wartortle. after all this is kanto and the player did go on the journey. the twin has the pokemon that is weak to the player and the rival has the type that is strong against it. however Pine advises against bringing the actual starters bc the environment might be dangerous. however, as someone with ancestors from ebril, she does happen to have some baby pokemon native to the region, of course of the classic typings. seeing as how none of the pokemon in the region were much affected by the changes in atmosphere so she knows it's safe to bring them.

story: the expedition starts when Pine through remote studies discovers an energy wave coming from the center of ebril, one she hypothesizes is similar to the energy that destroyed the region in the first place. at this point in time no one knows the original legendary has died, but this leads Pine to wonder if the legendary is gathering the energy after their sickness and thinks maybe it has the power to reverse the damage. she develops hazmat suits that should be able to endure most of the terrain of the land but isn't 100% sure on their durability. with all the preparations she can do, Pine and co set out to land in the dead center of ebril

once there they discover a giant crater right at the center, and at the bottom is an egg. the egg is the source of the energy wave, and they think maybe it houses a baby legendary. the player character is the first to approach the egg and the moment they get near it, the egg hatches, revealing a baby pokemon. it bears a resemblance to the legendary so they assume it is indeed the child of the former legendary, and also it's fucking adorable. whenever i picture it i think of kubfu or toxel bc theyre both Baby so it definitely is shaped similarly. after study its found that surprisingly, this baby is normal type. they're confused because while there are conflicting accounts on what the legendary's typing was, there's an agreement that it's something like psychic or fairy or dragon. however, once the baby is right next to the starter of the player, it suddenly changes to the same type. they experiment with the other starters and find that the baby pokemon does change type depending on its environment, but cannot be more than one type at a time. it defaults to normal if its kept in a neutral environment away from other pokemon. basically it's kinda like silvally

and so they're all in the direct center of ebril which represents normal type and thus the only thing wrong with it is the toxic atmosphere, however Pine theorizes that the baby has the ability to fix areas due to the type changing. she comes up with two hypotheses: either bringing the baby into say the water area will turn it into a water type and it will be able to fix the place with the typing, or if you enter the water area while the baby is a type that is strong against water like grass or electric that can help overpower it and thus reverse the damage of the area. they don't have a fighting type with them so they can't test this theory about weaknesses right in the area they're in so they can only test the first theory, and of course it doesn't work out. and so the first part of the journey starts

each member of the expedition is given a role. Pine remains at base camp and does research there, the twin ventures out to observe the pokemon and how they've changed since the apocalypse, the rival does something or other idk i havent thought abt that, and the player takes the baby to try to heal each area. the first area visited is of course the area that is weak to their starter, so grass if it was fire, fire if it was water, and water if it was grass. these three areas surround the center of course so it works out. and just like Pine hypothesized, when the baby is the strong type in this area the surrounding radius of it and thus the player is completely safe.

in the journey the player discovers healing spots that work as a pokemon center, these spots are named an oasis. the player also encounters some of the wild pokemon which have grown feral and dangerous over time, so they're unable to catch them at the moment. some point in their journey they discover some other spot similar to an oasis, however it emits a strong energy similar to what the baby emits but on a higher scale, and when the baby is placed in the spot the whole area returns to the way it used to be. and so that becomes the goal: to travel to each area with the baby and fix them with this power spot. also every time the baby sits in a power spot it gains the ability to change to the typing of the area at will. also i should mention the baby is carried around in one of those baby backpacks bc i think that would be adorable.

the world is more or less completely open, the player can travel to any area as long as long as they're wearing a hazmat suit, but the area can only be fixed if the baby has been in an area that is strong to another area and so on.

and yeah thats abt what ive got, i havent thought too hard abt stuff like an evil team or whatever but maybe i will one day who knows. thanks for asking and if u read all the way to the end thank u!

[cainduboisarchive2]

[ benjamin wadsworth, cismale, 20 ] did you see CAIN DUBOIS ? looking as broke as ever. rumor has it HE is usually - BITTER and - TEMPERAMENTAL but is also known to be + QUICK-WITTED and + TALENTED. we’ll see about that. they kind of remind me of SHATTERED PHONE SCREENS, STOLEN CIGARETTES and PAINT STAINED HANDS. maybe because they’re a TAURUS. they’ve been living around here for HIS ENTIRE LIFE. i wonder when they’ll make it out…

hello and welcome back to my channel! it’s jo again, here to introduce you all to one of my favorite muses ever, my lil garbage king cain 🖤 

tw: child neglect, mental health issues, drugs, alcoholism mention, underage sex.

cain didn’t get any adult supervision growing up, what with having a drunk for a father and a workaholic/serial cheating mother. the job of raising him instead befell on his brother, romeo. despite being only six years older than cain, the boy was more of a parent to him than any adult ever was. romeo did everything in his power to keep his baby brother safe, fed and happy, to varied results. whether it was taking cain to the hospital, helping him with his homework or teaching him how to skate, romeo was cain’s entire support system.

so when romeo left home to become a professional athlete, 10-year-old cain was predictably heartbroken. though time helped him understand his brother’s reasons for moving out, being left by the one person who cared for him at all changed him.

at first he tried getting his parents attention through good behaviour: getting straight A’s, keeping the house spotless, bringing his father beer when he ran out and whatever else he could think of. but none of it managed to make even a dent in their wall of indifference. it was especially hard to win their affection when his brother was now a star athlete, with enough money and fame to finally catch their parents’ eye.

as infuriating as it was to realise he’d never be as impressive as romeo, it was also freeing to stop trying so hard to be good. his parents didn’t ask any questions about him smoking stolen cigarettes at 13 or the black eyes he came home with from fights picked with much bigger kids. they didn’t even notice when he spent the night out, getting drunk off his ass or sleeping with men twice his age.

despite never mastering the art of basic self-care, cain became very good at surviving. he learned to fend for himself with resourcefulness, a quick-wit and loose morals. he became as good at getting himself out of messy situations as he was in getting into them. failed a class? suck the teacher’s dick! not enough money to get that red bull? no prob, just steal it! when it came to being social, he used his charm to his advantage and developed a biting sense of humor that got just enough laughs out of his peers to provide him with the rush of attention he didn’t get at home.

the other thing he excelled at was art. thankfully, it also happened to be his biggest passion and healthiest coping mechanism. but it wasn’t until high school that he realised that there really wasn’t anything else he’d rather to do for the rest of his life. so, using the money he’d scraped together from his jobs to buy a drawing tablet, he decided to make a career out of it. he’s been selling online prints, doing commissions and whatever freelance opportunities pops up ever since. and even though it’s not the most lucrative job (certainly not enough to live off it alone), getting recognition for his work is enough to keep cain satisfied.

SOME FACTZ:

sense of humor to mask feelings how original

an absolute asshole when he wants to be (often)

working as a barista to make ends meet and hating every second of it

in love with animation and comic books. he avoids talking about it too much because he gets very passionate and sounds like a lil nerd and we can’t have that

as a great donkey once said: "you’re so wrapped up in layers onion boy you’re afraid of your own feelings!”.  cain wants to be seen as this careless, cool guy without feelings but boi o boi he feels a lot. like a fuckton. deep down all he wants is to be loved and appreciated but feels unlovable.

has absolutely no concept of self-care. this bitch chainsmokes and forgets to eat for entire days and gets no exercise and will either sleep for the entire day or for 5 mins.

is always doodling. do not leave a pen or he’ll draw on your face if theres no other surface available.

sexually attracted to attention though i guess you could also describe him as bi

secretly loves his friends a lot but is too much of a coward to show it, afraid of finding the feeling to be one-sided and making a fool out of himself. still, very loyal and will cut a bitch to defend his friends’ honor.

WANTED PLOTS:

roommates — pls!!!!!! i need!!!!!! possibly more than one!!!!!!

angsty exes — maybe this was the first person cain actually cared for and they broke his heart further reinforcing his idea that people will always disappoint, or maybe he was the one who did the heart-breaking? both highly likely!

chill exes — sometimes you’re just better off as friends

the almost — it could’ve worked out but alas it didn’t because nothing ever does

one night stand — this boi sleeps around so gimme many of these

best friend — someone who’s managed to get past like 2 of cain’s 3423 walls. they might’ve even unlocked his tragic backstory!

stoner buddies — they get together to get high off their heads, watch regular show and discuss conspiracy theories

muse — someone who cain likes to draw often, maybe asks to pose for him

good influence — someone who suggests that hey maybe you should eat something sometimes!!

bad influence — honestly he probably goes after these

ying yang — someone nice to balance him out

people he knows from work — someone who either works in the same coffee shop as him or who frequents it

drinking buddies

friends with benefits

enemies

they got into a fist-fight in a parking lot that one time but it’s cool now

LITERALLY ANYTHING PLEASE GIVE ME ALL THE PLOTS!!!

[overplannedbutunnamednpc]

Jaded, Magic, Offspring, Vice for the alphabet one ... any characters you think are tasty but I would like to request that at least one be for Zephyr for development reasons (bonus if u want to make that be magic and talk abt her feelings on dunemancy as a controlled magic)

i’ll do all four for zephyr and also roll for others bc hehehe.........

Jaded: Do they buy into the “happily ever after” ideal? What’s their standard? Zephyr: not really??? I think growing up as an urchin kind of fucked that up even if she otherwise would. like, I’m sure the ideal in the kryn dynasty is what like. tbq and her wife have, with multiple lives and loving them through every one of them. but like. A) zephyr ain’t consecuted even if she says she is and B) she loves gent but that’s honestly probably her first real relationship and she kind of already knows that won’t end with a happily ever after because. she’s gonna still be in her elf twenties when gent dies. like, zephyrs actually kinda practical about this. she’s not gonna get a happily ever after with gent! she’s kinda accepted that even if she really doesn’t Like it. (and I’m very sad about it but that’s another post, elf lifetime meta included, if you want it). that said! she doesn’t think she won’t be happy! just that she’s smart enough to know that her relationships, such as they are, Will likely end in some pain for her, especially considering all the shit that comes along with a society with consecution. PC: Legacy - like. no? it feels ... cheap to her, I think. maybe it’s just me morgan not really believing in that stuff, but like. she grew up with nice parents who like. nothing was wrong with them of course! but like. she knows better, seeing them be in love with each other and fight and etc., she knows better than to think that anything could be happily ever after. she knows you gotta work at that shit, and I think she’s still figuring out how hard she’d want to work, if that makes sense. she does have a standard, though! she does want to fall in love or at least be infatuated/have someone be infatuated with her! it’s just an experience she wants. but considering her grandmother and her abilities... she kind of doubts she’ll ever be the prince OR princess in the fairytale, you know? NPC: Kiya - hh. Kiya knows better than to think happily ever after is in the cards. she’s got a pretty good thing going with MFU, she loves her employees, and I like the thot of her having a thing for one of them? but like. I’ve said it before: kiya isn’t really a ‘gets nice things for herself’ kind of person. so her standard is ‘it doesn’t happen in the first place.’ which is a little depressing, but hey! maybe she’ll be surprised.

Magic: In a magic series or not, are they accepting, or is each instance a shock? Zephyr: zephyr is a weird one because I like the idea of her being a little disbelieving that magic like. works for her, even though she’s a level 14 wizard with very specific knowledge of the arcane. I’m thinking about sir gentry and how he’s like, 50 years old by now or something. she didn’t look up the normal lifespan of a pet mouse until he was at least like. 10/15 because she just didn’t want to find out that he was about to die, and then she was kinda like ‘huh maybe... maybe he’s a magic mouse?’ (the in game explanation is that her dunamancy (time magic) is just. extending his life bc he hangs out with her and I think it’s cute and my dm loves me). but beyond that. I think it’s really fun if like. zephyr was NOT expecting to actually get into the academy? she made this whole plan expecting to at some point be found out but at least she’d have the knowledge, and then. She Wasn’t’? and she was obviously very happy that it worked!!! and I think she’s gotten more and more respect for her craft but it at least started as her going Wow alright this shit actually works? dope. now though I think she’s come to terms with it. she’s a level 14 wizard, she’s incredibly powerful really. magic for her is an extension of herself, to the point where she does it unconsciously (at least on sir gentry). she’s so skilled with dunamancy that she can just. choose to stop someone in time, five times a day. it’s exhausting, but she can just force a timeline on someone and have them be none the wiser. she’s Powerful, yo. and a lot of that power comes from sheer comfort with the subject, I think! I like that idea. PC: Zier - zier i think is very funny for this question because he like. JUST became a sorcerer and then levelled up super quickly in the span of like three or four months. but like. fundamentally, what happened was: 1. he ran away and got kidnapped and experimented on 2. he got away Somehow 3. he did magic at a giant spider 4. he ended up in another continent. so I think for him, it was surprising at first and he very much doesn’t know shit fuck all about magic, but he’s a noble boy through and through, and thus very quickly went “yeah i’m magical that fucks majorly because I fuck majorly.” it was basically him coming to terms with this new thing very quickly because he’s a bitch who likes the power. NPC: Coriander - coriander is the epitome of “is incredibly comfortable with magic.” for her, magic is essentially an assistive technology! she has darling who is basically a second pair of arms, legs, and an extra 8 feet of height so she can keep up with their partner and children who are much taller than she is. but I think a lot of the tech she develops is assistive or transportive in some way. coriander likes exploding things, but that’s more of a hobby. her actual magic works more like tech, and she treats it like a science.

Offspring: What kind of parent would they be? Would they prefer one, or multiple? Zephyr: much to think about.............. if she had kids I think she’d like multiple! she grew up completely alone so I think she’d want any kids to have siblings. as a parent I think she’d be good! i’ve been thinking about zephyr having very much Her People, who she likes, respects, and cares about to the point of fighting for and with them, and then Not Her People, who she kind of could give less of a shit about. her kids would def be Her People. she wouldn’t know exactly how to deal with them? I think for a bit there’d be a problem because she’d be stiff. she’d like her babies/kids very much! but she doesn’t know how to hold them. she doesn’t have experience talking to them. a baby cries and she tells it that theres nothing to cry over and logic at an infant doesn’t work and she goes bug eyed sasuke. but I think she’d figure it out eventually, and she’d be especially good at kids once they get to the “express their desires and disappointments in an understandable way.” perhaps she’d raise, on her own, very expressive kids because thats the only way they would be able to tell her what’s going on. PC: Sarril - :). he doesn’t know. but I think he would have been a good dad! his wife wanted multiple and so he would have had multiple, though he would have been very happy with only one. sarril was actively learning about Contact, so lots of hugs and holding for the babies and toddlers, especially with his wife and her family next to him. he’s always been a kind of calm and quiet man, and his way of showing love isn’t very Talkative, (i’ll talk about how he loves in another ask) so he’s more the dad who is At everything and is very quietly proud of everything his kid does, but unless there’s like, a crisis, he’s not likely to make it abundantly clear that he’s an adoring father. but you’d know from just like. he’s there, he’s tucking you in every night, he helps you with your homework, etc. NPC: Iris - iris wants kids SO BAD. she’d love one, she’d love multiple. part of being a part of a really terrible population crisis that may or may not be due to demonic influence, maybe, but she also just really wants kids. and she looked at cylthia and went “yeah alright we doing this?” I think iris with kids would be adoring almost to a fault. she’d LOVE those little bitches. she might spoil them rotten, but also they’d be super loved and have friends in all of glade and lent’s kids, and I think they’d eventually be cool.

Vice: What bad habits do they have? Is there something they would be ashamed of? Zephyr: shopaholic. i think a lot of her dresses come, if not free, at least steeply discounted because maybe she’s someone’s muse or maybe she did a huge favor for a dressmaker? haven’t decided yet. but definitely a lot of her paycheck (which I imagine she does get, from freelance jobs offering her wizarding services or maybe the dynasty pays her for the small wizard jobs like lighting the streets, bringing down and putting up and keeping up the night sky over rosohna, things like that) goes to dresses and accessories. she really likes spending money, and doesn’t mind so much about having it. I don’t think she’s ashamed of it, exactly? it’s her money, she’s spending it on things she likes. but it is probably indicative of Something. PC: Kenny - has a bad habit of being beholden to a god of fire who wants him to betray his friends. nah i think he’s got a bad habit of like now, scratching/rubbing soot off of himself. shit like that, where it’s a stimmy way of trying to get the ashen wolf’s influence off of him. he’s probably ashamed of it a little? because it’s the ashen wolf? but idk if it’s even really noticeable to others so that takes away a lot of the shame of it. NPC: Ecstasy - bad habits. of. not sharing her fucking feelings! she says thats STINKY but it kind of just fucks her over. like tbf with raini it kind of works because if she ever said she was in l*ve with raini the wizard might hightail it out of there but like. i think after two years she might have gotten away with it and didn’t even try. and now she’s kind of paying the price because not only does raini not remember her but it also doesn’t like, matter, maybe, because the feelings were ALWAYS unarticulated? so? she’s now just ????????

[chimcharstar]

1-100 TELL ME ALL

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

1. What is you middle name?

Jesse

2. How old are you?

22

3. When is your birthday?

dec 9

4. What is your zodiac sign?

sagittarius

5. What is your favorite color?

purples

6. What’s your lucky number?

9

7. Do you have any pets?

no

8. Where are you from?

bc canada. my great grandparents are from russia

9. How tall are you?

5 something

10. What shoe size are you?

7?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

3 that i actually use

12. What was your last dream about?

i dont remember my most recent one but i had a banger of a dream i described in another post

13. What talents do you have?

i think expressing myself, or music, i have some talent that needs discipline

14. Are you psychic in any way?

well i am a spiritual person, in a way. and growing up in a toxic drama filled family, i have Developed the Skill of guessing how people are feeling and what they are gonna do. and i analyze dreams. so not psychic but i am really interested and intuitive whats goin on in there

15. Favorite song?

for some reason https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oilVq8-F4_Q colours by roosevelt ive been obsessed with lately i just loop that shit. loop loop loop. blaringit into my ears and speedwalking down thestreet. the beat.!!!! i feel like I  took all the colours

16. Favorite movie?

spiderverse. i really enjoyed always be my maybe.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

someone who doesnt make me feel like im Too Much

18. Do you want children?

not RIGHT NOW

19. Do you want a church wedding?

i have no idea actually. id want a special wedding definitely.

20. Are you religious?

yes, i honestly feel like i just come like this, i dont go by any books and i dont want to be associated with christians. if i be too religious i start getting the Bad Feelings

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

yes visiting sick relatives. and one in a psyche ward.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

i got a parking ticket

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

no. maybe i did and i had no idea who they were because id never heard of them

24. Baths or showers?

showers.

25. What color socks are you wearing?

alien socks that are green and black

26. Have you ever been famous?

no. what does that even mean !!!!

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

yes because money but noooooo. its hard when one person definitely doesnt like me. if im famous some people just wont like me and theres going to be more of them

28. What type of music do you like?

stuff with electric guitars in it. funk. bops. i cant get enough lately

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

no

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

one. and sometimes NONE. i dont fucking know why its just more comfortable. id lie down on a floor and pass out

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

i usually cant fall asleep unless im on my face with my arms tucked under me for warmpth and general log shape. after that though its chaos. dreamin

32. How big is your house?

BIG!!!!!! so many rooms. so many people. 

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

on a Functional day, cereal. not because its my favourite thing but it doesnt require a lot of attention and its easiest to tolerate. my appetite is just. like this

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

HELL no.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

in my child days i shot my hair elastics around and pretended i was fighting aliens. this is definitely archery.

36. Favorite clean word?

i dont really think about words like that. pizza is a nice word.

37. Favorite swear word?

bitch. its really fun to say.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

not all that long. if i was up the entire night i am usually sleeping in midday no matter where i am. ive disappointed many teachers. its called not caring.

39. Do you have any scars?

yes, but theres no dramatic stories to them, just me not leaving scratches and bites alone as a kid. they look kind of cool though. and theyre so mysterious. youd think id have scars from self harm but no.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

i believe so...

41. Are you a good liar?

yes, when i am 100% like morally committed to lying.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

NO. my thought process is: its rude to assume someone is going to behave badly, and they will be offended and have hurt feelings if you anticipate that. i have to like. treat everyone with exactly the same respect unless theyre a dick. otherwise its being judgmental. and it ends up as naïveté. but im okay with that . the price of being a good person

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

i could do a british one once i guess LOL and it looks like now ive Absorbed a mexican accent but i never really try to talk in other accents

44. Do you have a strong accent?

i dont know how to answer this

45. What is your favorite accent?

idk i like new things i havent heard before. and thinking about how other languages work. theres a lot of different accents at my work and i honestly enjoy listening to them

46. What is your personality type?

that.... INFJ. see. psychic

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

one of the gay jackets

48. Can you curl your tongue?

dont think so

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie

50. Left or right handed?

left

51. Are you scared of spiders?

depends. i had these big house spiders in my dungeon at my parents house, and id just be “hi” and set them free. but if i see one where im not expecting it i might yell a lot and tell everyone and run around and then set it free

52. Favorite food?

tacos from my old work. i was indeed. screaming, lost in the sauce. i waited until i was away from the restaurant because i knew all my dignity would vanish

53. Favorite foreign food?

idk... i need to eat more curry. i need more curryin my life. bring it on.

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

clean

55. Most used phrased?

“this slaps” i feel like ive been saying that a lot

56. Most used word?

I

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

a whole entire fucking hour (when i wake up) otherwise 5min

58. Do you have much of an ego?

i do, but i hide it. 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

chomp chomp. i am not a patient man.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

yes, when i know no ones around, or when im not worried about seeming like a crazy person at work

61. Do you sing to yourself?

nah

62. Are you a good singer?

no. i can sing and it sound okay.  nice even. but good??? like beautiful?????? no.

63. Biggest Fear?

someone dying, natural disaster, new illness

64. Are you a gossip?

maybe. i feel like i have the Tendencies and then im like “am i being a bad person right now”. i want to know the deets though.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

i Simply Dont Have the Attention for Those

66. Do you like long or short hair?

BOTH . long hair is more fun to draw. short hair is hot

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

fuck no. why would i. fuck off. i dont care about your states.

68. Favorite school subject?

ART ART AR T

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

introerverte

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

no

71. What makes you nervous?

people who are not Definitely Cheerful

72. Are you scared of the dark?

no. unless i think about things to scare myself on purpose

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

no unless they need to know. because im not a fucking ANIMAL

74. Are you ticklish?

depends. i can be not ticklish if im determined.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

i dont think so... i started a rumor i was from mars

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

maybe i was supposed to train some girls and then i probably didnt do a great job and they didnt listen. they say my job now is somewhat authority and im like...... ok...... 

77. Have you ever drank underage?

no

78. Have you ever done drugs?

no

79. Who was your first real crush?

someone whos OUTTA MY LIFE

80. How many piercings do you have?

two? i got them pierecd at claires lmao and i didnt get an infection because im  so salty. then i took them out because they were from claries

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

hell yes

82. How fast can you type?

so fucking fast. faster than my work finder helper. im fast im very fast

83. How fast can you run?

IM VERY FAST

84. What color is your hair?

orange

85. What color is your eyes?

green

86. What are you allergic to?

im still trying to figure that out. whatever it is gives me hives

87. Do you keep a journal?

yes. so i can get better at handwriting and just talking in general and hear what my voice sounds like. and to have a space away from other peoples needs and pressures

88. What do your parents do?

my mom is a stay at home mom and my dad shoots pop bottles into the sky

89. Do you like your age?

sure

90. What makes you angry?

everything. cabbage. i swore about cabbage for a long time the other day. i am just full of anger. 

91. Do you like your own name?

YES. i mean i chose it i better. honestly my first name ......... i feel self conscious about it sometimes. i think it was the only name for me though. it wasnt the ideal most wonderful namei could find because those didnt fit, it was MY name.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

im going to have two sons and im naming them brick and rusty.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

yeah, i want a boy a girl

94. What are you strengths?

my strengths doing all 100 questions, this is serious muscles

95. What are your weaknesses?

the exhaustion of jumping from one question to the next especially when they are vague. im not complaining this was my idea

96. How did you get your name?

i pfound it in the baby name book and i was lie  “hey yyy, i saw that name in black beauty, lets use it for my gay coded villain what the hell!”

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

no but i did have some ancestors who lives i a mansions andhad fucking SERVANTS. before you call me problematic my other part of family was like sewing things and not going to school 

98. Do you have any scars?

weve been over this. when im older im going to get a cool scar fighting a dragon

99. Color of your bedspread?

pink, white, blue

100. Color of your room?

white

[blondecarfucker]

i feel like im in crisis cause we're getting closer to the end of bed of roses

so i actually though of a few other storys - none as long as BoR tho. three parts each TOPS. maybe they'll be longer because of it - 3k to 6k words each

one thats roger x reader where the reader is the director of the news of the world documentary because ive been watching this shit non-stop now and i cant stop thinking about it

one that ive been thinking about ever since i started writing bed of roses (almost a short spin off really, im still deciding if its gonna be in the BoR universe or not), where the reader is already in a relationship with Rog and shes there at the end of the night when roger and bowie are still mixing under pressure and they all spend some quality time together... dont know if theres gonna be smut tho. maybe just a wild night out... im still thinking about it. tell me what you think

and a brian x reader with fluff and them watching the stars. i just cant think of the song ill hear when writing it really - im thinking about elvis but i cant decide which one. thats whats blocking me to do it - definitely a shorter story, maybe 2k words. i accept suggestions for the song

and i also have my requests!! ill do all of them - im just wondering how to develop them nicely into a story. theres one where the reader is giving birth and something goes wrong and rogers concerned, and this is the one that has been the longest in my requests, so i actually have some ideas for it; im just procrastinating on doing the research for it. i dont know much about giving birth - like, what could go wrong, what would the medic team do, this type of stuff. theres another request for from haters to lovers with roger, where theyre always bickering and I HAVE MANY IDEAS FOR IT!!! I JUST NEED THE TIME TO PROPERLY THINK IT THROUGH AND ORGANIZE IT AND WRITE BUT GOD IM EXCITED. im a little bitch for 10 things i hate about you so its gonna be inspired in it a bit. and theres a request for a threesome with roger, reader and freddie which im not opposed to - im just procrastinating it a bit because writing sex scenes is actually kind of hard and complex so like. it takes some time. anyway my requests are still open

yeah thats it, just though i'd share my plans for after bed of roses is complete. after i post 17, theres only four more chapters!!!! can you guys believe it??? cause i cant

back to writing 17 i guess

[carasuxuiblog]

4/7 “Don’t Make Me Think: Revisted” Book by Steve Krug Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Usability Testing on 10 Cents a Day

Two months before product launch is not enough time for good usability results

Usability tests are about watching people actually try to use what we’re building, so we can detect and fix the parts that confuse or frustrate them.

Focus groups are about having people talk about things, like their opinions about our products, their past experiences with them, or their reactions to new ideas that we show them.

So the main difference is that in usability tests, you watch people actually use things, instead of just talk about them

The kinds of things you learn from focus groups—like whether you’re building the right product—are things you should know before you begin designing or building anything, so focus groups are best used in the planning stages of a project. Usability tests, on the other hand, should be used through the entire process.

If you want a great site, you’ve got to test

Testing one user is 100 percent better than testing none.

Testing one user early in the project is better than testing 50 near the end.

Suggests every Web development team should spend one morning a month doing usability testing. In a morning, you can test three users, then debrief over lunch

Suggests thee ideal number of participants for each round of do-it-yourself testing is 3

Do-it-yourself tests are a qualitative method whose purpose is to improve what you’re building by identifying and fixing usability problems. The process isn’t rigorous at all: You give them tasks to do, you observe, and you learn. The result is actionable insights, not proof

You’ll always find more problems than you have the resources to fix, so it’s very important that you focus on fixing the most serious ones first. And three users are very likely to encounter many of the most significant problems related to the tasks that you’re testing.

recruiting people who are from your target audience isn’t quite as important as it may seem, especially if you are just starting out

if finding the ideal users means you’re going to do less testing, ] try to find users who reflect your audience, but don’t get hung up about it. 

loosen up your requirements and then make allowances for the differences between your participants and your audience. 

When somebody has a problem, ask yourself “Would our users have that problem, or was it only a problem because they didn’t know what our users know?”

It’s usually not a good idea to design a site so that only your target audience can use it.

Experts are rarely insulted by something that is clear enough for beginners

the usability test facilitator’s main job is to encourage them to think out loud as much as possible

You should try to do whatever you can to encourage everyone—team members, stakeholders, managers, and even executives—to come and watch the test sessions. 

You’ll need an observation room (usually a conference room), a computer with Internet access and screen sharing software, and a large screen monitor or projector and a pair of external speakers so everyone can see and hear what’s happening in the test room

During the break after each test session, observers need to write down the three most serious usability problems they noticed during that session so they can share them in the debriefing

Even before you begin designing your site, it’s a good idea to do a test of competitive sites. They may be actual competitors, or they may just be sites that have the same style, organization, or features that you plan on using. 

If you’re redesigning an existing site, you’ll also want to test it before you start, so you’ll know what’s not working (and needs to be changed) and what is working (so you don’t break it).

throughout the project, continue to test everything the team produces, beginning with your first rough sketches and continuing on with wireframes, page comps, prototypes, and finally actual pages.

For each round of testing, you need to come up with tasks for the participants

If all you have is a rough sketch, for instance, the task may consist of simply asking them to look at it and tell you what they think it is.

If you have more than a sketch to show them, though, start by making a list of the tasks people need to be able to do with whatever you’re testing

It’s much better, for instance, to say “Find a book you want to buy, or a book you bought recently” than “Find a cookbook for under $14.” It increases their emotional investment and allows them to use more of their personal knowledge of the content.

A typical one-hour test would be broken down something like this: welcome, questions, home page tour, tasks, probing, and wrapping up

**Steve Krug’s Usability Testing Resources** Theres a script to follow on his website.

Common Usability Problems:

Users are unclear on the concept. They just don’t get it. They look at the site or a page and either they don’t know what to make of it or they think they do but they’re wrong. 

The words they’re looking for aren’t there. This usually means that either you failed to anticipate what they’d be looking for or the words you’re using to describe things aren’t the words they’d use. 

There’s too much going on. Sometimes what they’re looking for is right there on the page, but they’re just not seeing it. In this case, you need to either reduce the overall noise on the page or turn up the volume on the things they need to see so they “pop” out of the visual hierarchy more.

FOCUS RUTHLESSLY ON FIXING THE MOST SERIOUS PROBLEMS FIRST

How to do that: Make a collective list, Choose the ten most serious problems., rank them, write down a rough idea of how you’re going to fix each one in the next month, who’s going to do it, and any resources it will require

Tips about deciding what to fix:

Keep a separate list of very easy to fix problems, Resist the impulse to add things, Take “new feature” requests with a grain of salt, Ignore “kayak” problems (where users will go astray momentarily but manage to get back on track almost immediately without help)

Usability Testing Steps:

The facilitator looks at the same screen as the participant. 

Screen sharing software allows the observers to see what’s happening. 

Screen recording software creates a video of the session.

[missjackil]

SPN and Subtext

First, let’s establish what subtext is really, for anyone who may not know. It is unspoken, unacted, non-canonical, images a writer wants you to think about. It’s not some hidden secret that the author wants only a select few to know about, its just something to provoke thought. A way to make some people anticipate something that may or may not become canon at some point, and Supernatural has a lot of it.  The very first hints of subtext, were naturallly between Sam and Dean. Supernatural, at its very core is “The epic love story between two brothers” as quoted by Erik Kripke. “Wncest” was the very first, organically grown ships that developed from the show’ subtext, and still continues 12 years later. Canonically however, Sam and Dean are not sexual with each other, and they never will be, but there’s nothing wrong with enjoying the subtext, like, how they stand/sit so close together, how theyre gorgeous single men in their 30s that insist on living together and still share motel rooms even though they could each get their own. The lengths they’ll go to save each other, the way they look at each other and so on.  This subtext is subtle, nothing that would make anyone think the show promotes incest, but provocative enough to make some people wonder exactly how far they could go for each other. How deep is that love really? In our world, anyone with this level of love, would probably be having sex too, but we don’t know this level of love in our real lives. Sure, we all have people we love deeply, more than our own lives, that we wouldnt think about having sex with, but none of us have sold our soul for that person, condemning ourselves to Hell for eternity, for just 1 more year with that person, and so they wont die yet. None of us have overpowered the Devil himself so he wouldnt kill them (and then of course save the world in the process) and hardly any of us have ever killed to save this one person. So a person who may be intrigued with the idea that Sam and Dean may have, or could have sex at some point, isnt necessarily in favor of incest (for most wincest shippers anyway) but more or less wondering how it hasnt happened yet, considering this level of love. 

Now most WIncest shippers know, and understand, Sam and Dean wont ever have sex on the show, and most of them don’t even want them to, and would rather it be left to their imagination, and fan fic. When the show piles on the subtext though, with the bro hugs, and deep meaningful confessions of feelings, such as “Dont you dare think that theres anything, past or present that I would put in front of you! I need you to see that... Im begging you!” Our little wincest hearts grow 10 sizes even if we dont ship it.  Now there has been subext (homoerotic) put between Sam, Dean and other characters. Also, not to be a secret message that either Sam or Dean are gay or bi, or that either will be in a same sex relationship to anyone, but its put there just to provoke thoughts. Writers have used this since there have been characters to write about. Even in the Bible, there is subtext between King David and his best friend Jonathan that he “loved like a brother”. Its never written that they were in love with each other, or that they had sex, but it does make the reader wonder if it happened.  Subtext between Cas and Dean started early when Cas came to the show, but it also happened between Cas and Sam though less people noticed it, simply because Dean had more interaction with Cas than Sam did, but Sam and Cas always had their own subtext since they met. Sam went a little fan boy upon meeting an angel, and Cas, though pointing out Sam had demon blood, gave him a warm, affectionate, 2 handed hand shake. However, Cas was more active with Dean, and a lot more angry and violent with him, as well as Dean was angry and disrespectful to Cas for most of S4 and 5, which has me wondering how Destiel even became a popular ship, given how brutal they have been with each other.

The subtext doesnt end with these 3 though. There was subtext between Dean and Benny, Crowley and Sam, Crowley and Dean, Crowley and Cas, Sam and Mick, Dean and Mr Ketch, but again, these are not secret messages that any of them are gay or bi or that any will become a romantic couple. In fact, I am beyond sure, none of them ever will.  SPN isnt that kind of show. The lives of the Winchesters are tragic. They can’t have normal relationships with people, even with each other. The show is, and always will be about Sam and Dean, not their significant others, if they ever venture to give them girlfriends again, we can be sure, they wont get married and have children. They certainly wont give them boyfriends, if they were going to establish that either of them were anything besides straight, that would have come out a long time ago. Changing their sexuality this far into the series, would change the series itself to something it never was.  I wont lie and say its not fun to fantasize and read fan fic because it sure is! But if I expect the show to change Sam and Dean’s sexuality, Im going to end up very disappointed. Like so many Destiel fans are going to be when it comes to the end and Sam and Dean end up together, whether living or dead, it will still just be them together.  I havent been on Tumblr very long, less than a year, and Im shocked to see how bad some people are about their ships. I cant believe that a big portion of Destiel shippers believe ludicris things like the show is pushing Sam out to make room for Cas as Dean’s #1, Jensen doesnt know or care about Dean if he doesnt believe Dean is 100% in love with Cas, Sam and Gabriel would make a lovely couple, or maybe even Sam and Lucifer, Dean is bisexual and the paint color on the wall proves it...I could go on forever but Ill make myself sick probably. Theres gonna be some really disappointed people when/if Cas isnt back next season, which is very likely, since Misha’s contract is up this year and he hasnt been acting like someone who is interested in staying on this particular show, has been given billing after Mark Sheppard if they’re in the same episode, and now the show has gone and made Cas so unredeemable to the boys, I wouldnt be shocked if it’s Dean that kills him,  but I am about 90% sure, Cas is done after this season.  So even though there is a ton of homoerotic subtext in this show, none of us should take it as anything more than it is. Just thoughts implanted to make the show more interesting, but not insite of whats to come. Just write and read fan fic, and appreciate the show for what it is, The Epic PLATONIC love story between Sam and Dean and some random monsters, demons, angels, God and Baby :)

[hpandcarbs]

I'm pretty sure when I read this the first time I wasn't doing real reviews yet so I'm doing it now. So this is in my top 10 favorite fics and really set the bar for time travel fics (which is part of why I usually end up abandoning them a few chapters in now). The premise here is that the war didn't end the way it did in the books. Instead Harry was in his mid-twenties and there was a LOT more destruction. He, Ginny, and Ron were the only three main characters left alive and they find a way to go back and change things by sending their memories to their bodies from Harry's first year. The choice of Ginny and Ron as his companions really worked well in my opinion. I know a lot have Ginny and Harry together in some soul bond thing or just the trio and I thought this was a great group dynamic. It also gave some credit to each of these three because the author didn't/couldn't do the lazy writing thing where Hermione has all the ideas. It also led to a lot plot-wise because Harry and Ginny are married but seem like children to others and because Ron has grown up so much seemingly overnight. This leads to a lot of drama with the rest of the Weasleys and there are honestly a few chapters where I wanted to knock some sense into them. Please note this is NOT bashing - the author makes things very clear both through authors notes and through things other characters say. The Weasleys have totally legitimate concerns and react in a way that I felt actually was in character for the situations they found themselves in. Percy was really able to shine here and I feel as if he gets forgotten a lot. A lot of the minor characters were shown really well - Snape, Dumbledore, Neville, Luna, Sirius... Theres a lot going on in this story and a lot of characters so the fact that the author was able to alter the characters to adapt to their situation while also retaining their original characteristics is very impressive. The plot is incredibly intricate and keeps you guessing until the end. You can tell a lot of planning went into it. Two areas that may be of concern (but which didn't bother me): This story is very dark / violent. The war originally ends much more terribly than in the canon series and that makes the characters (Ron, Ginny, and Harry) a lot darker and more vicious. There's a good bit of violence and spells that would be completely OOC in the original books so keep that in mind. There's also a fair bit of talk between Harry and Ginny about their physical relationship as they are a married couple with their normal emotional development and needs. None of it really crosses the line (there's one scene that almost bothered me but was necessary for the plot) and it doesn't even go into detail when they're older and actually acting on those urges. It's a realistic issue but one to be aware of. Overall: 9/10

[whichwitchami]

Emmy is confronting some shit under the cut

Feel free to ignore, a lot of it is going to be rambling

I went to my favorite place today. This is possibly the first time I’ve left there not feeling bubbly and happy. It’s not bad, there’s just a lot I have to confront. 

I’ve been having this feeling, this deep gut feeling, that this year may finally be the year that things fall into place for me as far as love goes. It’s just...it’s just this feeling. I won’t be alone anymore. It hit me really hard the other day, that its been 10 years since I’ve been in a relationship. The last time I had a boyfriend was when I was 15 years old. (okay 9 years technically, until September anyway). So I went in today to get a tarot reading from this beautiful woman. Every time I connect with the spiritual world with her guidance, I cry. She gets chills, we hold hands, I cry. It’s both beautiful and overwhelming. She helped me confront my depression the first time I got a tarot reading from her. Today she helped me figure out some things that I need to work on as far as what do I do when this relationship develops. 

One of the cards, representing me, was the Queen of Wands, suggesting that I had all this love to give, all this nurturing, caring love. This is true. I have always wanted to lift up those around me, to support them and care for them and love them. The trouble is, I don’t always do that. I have to figure out a way to get there. 

Another important card was the Five of Cups, suggesting a loss of something in my life. I think that goes back to that last relationship 10 years ago. I was 15 years old, just a child, and so incredibly vulnerable. It was the first time I had my heart shattered. For some reason, the past few weeks, this relationship has been at the forefront of my mind. I’ve been afraid of this guy coming back into my life and messing things up. (not like, literally afraid, just in a ‘what if’ sense). When I think back on that, I remind myself that every dark thing that happened in that relationship was a result of the other party. I don’t want to get too deep into it rn, but it was a very unhealthy relationship. Flash Forward to now, and every time I get kind of close to maybe going on a date with a guy, maybe, I run away. There was a guy last semester, he was all right. My friends tell me he wasn’t worth my time due to some of his personality flaws, but I have to wonder if I didn’t give him enough of a chance, if I ran away. There’s a guy that I may or may not get coffee with tomorrow. I keep telling myself he’s giving me a weird vibe. That something isn’t right about him. I talked to mama K (the awesome lady who owns my favorite place) she told me to go for it, that she didn’t get bad vibes from him. I know she wouldn’t tell me that if it wasn’t true. She’s such a wonderful lady, she wouldn’t encourage this if she felt he was off. Even with her encouragement, I want to run. 

B, the lady I had the reading with today, and I talked a lot about confidence. I have to rebuild that confidence in myself, but I don’t know how to. I tell myself that I’m confident, I know who I am and I love that person.....emotionally. Kind of. Like I’m happy with who I am mentally, but theres still something holding me back. I just can’t figure out what that is. One thing B and I talked about is this reluctance to be fully present. Like, when I do go out with friends, I help plan, I get everyone together, and then I sit back and say “I did my part” so when everyone is engaging and sharing and connecting, I’m hiding in a corner. I don’t know how to break that habit. I’m an introvert. It takes so much energy just to make the plan and leave the house. How the hell am I supposed to then connect on a deeper level?

Another thing B said that resonated with me: “You are so full of sweetness, of kindness and caring. You are a loving and nurturing person.” 

Do you have any idea how many people say that to me? How often I’m told how sweet and genuine and kind I am? Everybody tells me that I’m like that, and I take pride in being nice to everyone but....what if that’s just a defense mechanism? what if its not who I really am? I’m not even sure at this moment who the authentic Emmy is. All I know is I’m insecure and  I want more, but I don’t know how to get more. What if I’m sweet and kind to everyone so they don’t see the fearful, broken and insecure me hiding beneath the surface. How do I fix that part of me so that I can start showing my true self?

I get caught up on this thought from high school. I have a memory of sitting in my best friends attic, working on a project. While we were sitting there, I confessed to her, that I felt like everyone was friends with me because they saw my true, broken self, and they felt bad for me because I was weird and couldn’t make real friends. She was so hurt that I said that. She reassured me that nobody in our friend group felt that way, and I felt good about it. moving forward to now, none of those people talk to me anymore. I send them birthday cards every year, and I try to connect, but its like I’m not important in their lives anymore. so....in a sense what i feared came true. They weren’t really my friends, not truly. It’s the same with my friends from undergrad. I know some of them love me, but I don’t feel like they’re a true friend, like how I’m a friend. Once a friend, always a friend. I am fiercely loyal and will take care of you no matter what. I want someone who will care about me that way but they always seem to fade away.  That friend I was working on a project with? She’s still my best friend in my mind, but I haven’t spoken to her in a year I think? Not a real conversation, a deep, true, friend conversation. 

How can I build confidence and cultivate relationships when I can’t connect? When I can’t even figure out who I really am and how to show people that?

I don’t even know where I’m going with this anymore, I’m just rambling. I’m hoping to get my thoughts together better in the morning. 

I love who I am, as an introvert who would rather stay home and read a book or watch a movie and cuddle than go out. But if I don’t go out, how am I to find that person I connect with? That person to share my loving and caring nature with? I don’t want to be alone forever, but my nature stops me from going out and meeting people. i don’t know how to change the things that I need to change. I’m not even 100% sure what those things are. 

I want to grow. B has shown me over and over that I can grow. E ( a spirit guide) has shown me that I can grow. I don’t know how. I don’t know how to listen to them and start that ball rolling. I don’t know how to build that confidence that was shattered back up. I don’t know how to let go of the things holding me back so that I can grow. I just don’t know. How do I let others in so that I can grow? I feel like I can’t do this alone, yet I need to do it alone at the same time. 

[sheisunleashed-blog]

..

I remember sitting down on the bed with Brandon. I had texted him that morning saying we should talk when you get home..I didn’t think he would think into it as we always talk like that...but he obviously had a feeling..

He was speechless..I had packed and left that night to stay with Katie. Bran was left at home because for the first time, he realized that this was reality. He told me i wouldn’t do it - two times before..he told me that i was exaggerating...and yet now i wasn’t..

I don’t know if I can touch on every single piece of what happened but I didn;t want it to end up the way it did. He spiralled out of control. He quit his job ( he thought it was that..) which to be honest may have been a factor because i loved our relationship at the start.. But he got drunk constantly. He showed up to my work proposed, he threatened to commit suicide, he fled the country, went to bali and spent our savings, took our savings, i wanted to get my stuff, he had cleaned the house so that I could eat off the floor - he had candles EVERYWHERE and a gift for me, he wrote me 10 page letters with tickets to a dance show, he bought himself a bible, he threatened me with evil messages and emails, he was all over the place - and to be honest i dont blame him. He knew i had cheated - i said it was with Chris (and not aiden) because i wanted to talk to Aiden. He got his Aunty Kyra to convince me to go to Bali - which she somehow did - i was so emotionally messed up that i Said goodbye to her at the airport and that I am going to get my husband? It turned out wrong. We fought,. We had sex. We cried. We argued. WE were both just as lost as eachother. Resulting? No success. It was the end. And that’s all i am going to say. WHY NOW? Why when i leave he does everything i had wanted to see and wanted him to do? He left me with a 450 per week house to pay off - THIS STRESSED ME. 

So many stresses. So much money. Where was my faith? It was weak. I didn’t feel good enough... 

then BAM. December 2017 - My sister rang me. I remember it distinctively. I was suppose to go into 24 Harry Chan Avenue to do an outgoing inspection with the tenant. I got the call Jono died. I couldn’t breath or think. What else could happen? I was weak. I was still living with Brandon because we were sleeping in seperate rooms, broken up but we had a lease. Take note of the date...because that’s how long it was drawn out for (and yet longer - ill get there). I went home straaight away for the funeral. I asked my  boss if i can stay longer as my brother is getting married at the end of Jan 2018 so it made sense not to come back and then leave again (talk about expensive). She said yes. It was a refreshing time. Despite the circumstances. I remember sitting with Kitty and Leanne. We made a plan on the farm in the tent that day. to go back to Darwin, get my stuff, find a tenant, move out etc. I felt like i had purpose again. 

It was a blur when I went back. Brandon ended up moving back to NZ at the end of February 2018 - i was like thank goodness. But it left a hole. Not only in my heart but my bank account. I was stuck with the lease. An emotional rollercoaster. So what did i do to fill it? I didn’t seek God. I felt at the time He wouldn;’t love me...why? So I made it worst? I kept sleeping with Aiden and then I met Chris...oooh Chris. Aidens flatmate remember him? we slept together and we didnt stop there. Just when I thought Aiden was good. Chris was better. And he made me feel better where as Aiden just made me feel like a piece of meat...ew. iknow right.

So moving on. Chris was always a hit and miss. He was always travelling back to GC aswell. Sometimes we won’t talk for 3-4 weeks and i was trying to keep my cool...what an idiot...so I met people like Manoli, Leigh, Fitzy, slept with them too. None of them filled the void i had. Fitzy and I had coke, it was the best thing ever. Would i do it again? NEVER. I had really slipped below my values. I had lost who i was. I went out every weekend with  Bec and lewie and went home with a boy named Alex one night. We had sex in the taxi and sex at his house. It was crazy. What was wrong with me. Where did my respect go for myself? I felt dirty. So I limited myself to just Chris because i was needy for sex but didnt want to go everywhere looking for it...so i thought i was doing myself a favour by just going to him... 

Theres so much more of that but we wont go into it. 

And then fast forward (yes past Bali in July( to August 2018 - i found a mentorship group . It some what found me. But it prompted on my heart to join and so i did. Turns out its a networking group called Amway which I had no idea about. But I loved the mentorship and personal development. My mentor Liam was life saver. He guided me with his Christ like values and made me feel purposeful again. I attended conference, i attended the weekly meetings, i stopped my instagram posting of alcahol and stupid crap. I met Yianni who i thought was amazing, we went on weekly coffee dates. He made time to know me. I actually thought...is this the one’?? turns out he just wanted sex because after we had it...he barley talked to me again.. I was so hurt. I tried to brush it off...

Fast forward to January 2019 - I was home. I had met my neice for the first time. My heart was FULL. we were at church - i CRIED during songs of praise. I was LOST. i knew i needed to come home. I was so focused on getting to Brisbane..but what was going to seal the deal?  A job and support of course. I remember out of interest looking online at seek and only seeing 4 jobs available. I then I remember seeing the Ray White logo. Apparently they had never done this before but Ray White Papamoa were looking for a non experience sales person. I rang them - I talked to Nicolette and Greg through different days etc. I met with Nicolette. It felt like everything was falling into place. This was the day before I was due to leave. I remember having an awesome interview and she said well sort yourself out in Australia and then come work for us. I couldnt believe it. I went back to the park where my family was and my sister and mum cried ..my dad teared. They were so happy to help me. I have never felt so different....Life was about to change..

[burchlife]

Thoughts from Toulouse

1) I should post more - I never regret it

2) Starting to get extremely stressed about HBS. I'm so excited and I think it'll be amazing experience, but doubt is starting to creep in.

Combined, we're giving up about $800k - is there really an ROI enough to justify that? I've never been in debt before and it's terrifying me. I hate the idea that I have no way to care off myself and her if something goes wrong. What if I spend all of that and the economy crashes and there's no good jobs? It's a very real possibility that happened in 2008, and we're due for a redux. Even coming out with a $150k salary, my ROI takes 8-10 years in the best case. I understand that financially that's not a bad case and will be better long-term, but I'm still scared.

Furthermore, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared about doing long distance. I'm worried about the tradeoffs that are required - what will I have to sacrifice to be with her, and what with her will I sacrifice to make the most of my time? It will be a tough balancing act. Ironically, I'm not actually all that worried it won't work out. Despite this fear, there's not a doubt in my mind that the relationship will work. I don't know what the cost of long distance will be, but I am willing to pay it.

I'm also stressed about the transition. How do I pack up and move cross country as an adult? Where do I live? How do I get furniture? Who should be my roommate? Should I travel before or is that wasting money? What do I do with my cat (this is really the surprising stressful of all - I'll come back to it)? Theres so much to do and I've done none of it.

The cat is definitely a top stresser though. When I adopted her I made a commitment to take care of her, and I don't think at the time I realized what that meant, but I hate to back out of it now. I'm split - on one hand, I don't know if I can take of her, but on the other hand I hate to give her up. Worse yet, I can't seem to find her a permanent home. My biggest fear is that I'll get a call in September and need to find somewhere for her to live because I just can't. Even with that, I'm not sure I trust her non perfect behavior to have someone want her permanently. Ugh - I don't know what to do.

Despite all that, I am excited. I genuinely believe that HBS will be extremely formative in both the skills and network I need to grow and set myself up for live. Plus - it just sounds fun. I can't wait for it to get here.

3) I feel like I've been really shit at my job lately, and not sure if that's true or not. I see a few possibilities

First, that I am really am shit at my job. I don't want to rule this out, because aspects of it are probably true. I've had trouble a few times now with my temper at work that I'm not happy with, and have definitely had oversights I should have caught

Second, that I'm not bad at my job, just asked to do too much and work that's not suited to me. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a detail oriented person, and managing VVVMs and datasheets is my hell. Most of the oversights I've had are in this vein, and I do believe that it's just hard and should not all be on my shoulders. I do better when the work is more high level, communication, planning, etc. Probably a good lesson to remember

Third, that I'm doing fine, but that Ivan is a critical boss who makes everyone feel like their doing poorly. I know Cameron feels this way, so it isn't unreasonable and even when I know I've done well I don't get much praise. In his defense, he's stressed and busy, but he should take a lesson about management priorities - to take care of your people. Again, a lesson to remember when I'm a manager.

Fourth, that id be doing better if I wasn't quitting in three months and had more motivation. I'm trying to keep it up, but I'd by lying if I said I wasn't pushing the boundaries a bit knowing that it didn't effect my future.

Realistically, it's probably a combination of all of these. It's hard to realize I'm not viewed as a superstar, but maybe that's ok and good for me to acknowledge.

4) Its shocking how well things are going with her. We have few fights and when we do they always end in laughter and real acknowledgement of what we can do next time. I was so amazed at how she handled the argument at Sintra. I (probably stupidly) defended myself from her anger, and she was able to step back from the emotion and acknowledge I had a point and that she was being unfair. We then proceeded to have w real conversations. That takes real strength and EQ and was a huge moment for me to see. That's the kind of thing that gives me faith for the future.

Speaking of the future, it's crazy to me how excited I am to marry her and to, weirdly enough, have kids someday. I always hoped to find this, but honestly I don't think I believed it was possibly. And yet, here we are, where when I see anything wedding related it makes me smile thinking about marrying her. On principle I hate the idea of spending lots on a wedding, but honestly to make her happy it almost seems worth it. Part of me when's to propose as soon as I can rather than waiting - it's psycho.

However, there's always that fear that it won't work. That 10 years from now, something changes and it all falls apart. I've never seen a single sign or red flag that that is likely, and the fear isn't changing my mind about marriage, but the fear is always there. Child of divorce, I guess.

5) I'm fucking lucky. I'm 25, and have been all around the world. My work trusts me to visit our major customers alone and develop ideas that cost millions of dollars and years of development. That's cool as hell. My TVS parts, which I knew were mediocre at best all along, have made $300k in just 2 years and project to be steady earners indefinitely - Apple is even looking at them.

When i think of that, it gives me hope that I can hold my own around the best of the best at HBS

6) Combining a few points, I'm so curious to see how I stack up at HBS. I've never not been the big fish in a little pond, and there I will be up against at best equals and at worst people far far smarter and harder working and better communicators. I should by all accounts feel like an imposter, but for some reason I still don't. Part of my still thinks I'll be the smartest one there and be the best, despite that objectively ridiculous. White male priveledge is one hell of a drug.

I am excited though - every time I've been around those who are objectively smarter than me, I've used that as a motivation to get better. I wouldn't be where I am today without Adam, and I'm hoping to spring board to the next level through my new classmates.

7) Toulouse is a gorgeous town. I've never been anywhere just so pleasant - I want to come back here with her someday and just do nothing for a week.

8) I have lots more thoughts, but that's probably the biggest ones for now as it's getting cold sitting at this cafe. Hopefully this time, I'll post again soon instead of waiting 8 months

[furiousconnoisseurcomputer-blog]

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"tennessee insurance defense attorneys

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Disability insurance?

Cheap car insurance for an 18 year old?

I'm hearing so many different things. Some people say you can use part of your parents' no claims to bring down the price, but I can't find any sites online who say that. Does anyone know of any cheap places or best companies to try by phone to get a realistic car insurance quote for an 18 year old? Thanks in advance.""

Best car (insurance wise) for new drivers?

Of the following cars (all old models), which would be cheapest for a new female driver. I haven't started to learn yet but I should be thinking about it in about a year and I should probably get a head start saving. Assuming I'd follow all tips to keep insurance down which would be best? Ford Ka Ford Fiesta Peugeot 206 Peugeot 107 Smart Fortwo Fiat Punto Or do you have better suggestions? Before you tell me, I am WELL AWARE that it will be very expensive.""

Where to buy business auto insurance?

My job requires me to transport individuals from their home to various stores or dr.'s appointments. I recently found out that my employer will only cover the person served when I am driving my car on the clock, but not me, or my car. I've done some research and found that I need to update to business/commercial insurance. I live in Iowa. Where is the best/cheapest place to purchase this type of auto insurance. I've got a fairly clean driving record (I've been in two accidents in the last 5 years, neither were my fault) and a safe car.""

Whats the best car insurance for teen boys (specific details)?

I am an 18 year old male, african american (if that matters), and i live in a 5 person home. My parents both have cars, my mom a 2000 cadillac deville, and my dad a dodge caravan van. i have straight a's in school and i heard some insurers reward that, so i was wondering what would be the best car insurance for a teen in my position? Thank you for your help :)""

Why do a lot of health insurance plans through your parents employers cut you off at 25 yrs old?

I'm a full time student and turned 25 in September. I guess once September ended I'm no longer covered under my dad's health insurance. I was surprised because I at least thought I had the semester to finish off since it was that way with my friend. But anyways, why do a lot of companies cut you off by then? I know a lot of people at that age are done with college, but there are still plenty who aren't. I'm still an undergrad, but what about the ones that are going to medical school, dental school, etc, that aren't even done with college until there late 20s if they went right out of high school? 25 is still young, and it's still hard to afford for most people at that age. Also, I heard about student insurance. Do most college have that for students to check into?""

""Insurance group 19, how much does it cost?""

its a mercedes gl 320, diesel. How mcuh does insurance group 19 cost?""

How much for Health Insurance?

I am turning 18 in 4 months. I am most likely going to be moving back with my father. I am currently under my mother's health insurance but it's only for certain doctors and I will be living in a different state as her, so I will need to get my own health insurance. How much would it be for Health Insurance for me. I have diabetes so I need to get it. Any help is greatly appreciated, thanks.""

Can a person on ssi have life insurance?

my daughter said i need life insurance, i know being on ssi they dont let you have anything freely so my question is can i have insurance""

Can anyone explain the Affordable Care Act to me?

I'm liberal on 99% of most issues, but Obamacare confuses me. I'm all for universal health care, but NOT free health care just for the poor. So what exactly is Obamacare, what was the thought behind it, and what are some reasons why I should be for or against it?""

What are some affordable health insurance companies for young adults?

Im looking for some health insurance. anyone know of some good affordable companies?

Recommendation for Mexican auto insurance (going to Ensenada).?

We are traveling to Ensenada this weekend and I want to purchase insurance online before we go. Does anyone have a carrier they recommend?

""Dui in personal vehicle 5 years ago, can i get comercial insurance for livery service?""

independant owner operator of sedan service in st petersburg, fl""

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tennessee insurance defense attorneys

Cheap car insurance for occasional driver ?

Hi everyone! I was wondering if anyone knows if an occasional driver's insurance exists? I dont have my own car. My parents do and sometimes I use it for school- once or twice every 2 weeks. Recently, my dad hasnt been allowing me to use it (at all) because I dont have my own insurance and it is too expensive for them to include me in theirs since I dont use the car too often. Do you know any car insurance that is affordable- which company, etc, for someone like me who only borrows a car occasionally? Thanks! x""

If you don't have car insurance.. is it okay if...?

I live in Oregon. I was wondering if you don't have car insurance does your license get suspended? someone said it did, someone else said it didnt.""

What is the difference between being forced to buy auto insurance and being forced to buy health insurance?

From my understanding: People have to buy health insurance so that if people get sick/injured, other people won't have to pay for them. Medical bills are very expensive so that's why people have it. And if a patient doesn't pay their medical bills due to not being able to afford it they will be treated anyway because of the Emergency Medical Treatment and Active Labor Act. The health insurance companies will compensate for this by raising insurances rates of the insured. Having car insurance is so that if a driver causes an accident that driver's insurance can pay for the victim's damages. But if an uninsured driver hits an insured driver, the auto insurance company is allowed to raise the insured driver's rates. The reason for this is because the insurance company has to pay for their insured driver's car because there is no on else to pay up, and sometimes even they raise rates because they believe the insured driver is purposely putting themselves in situations to cause accidents. And it is a fact that unless a person lives in a major US city such as New York City, driving a car is a necessity. You need a car to be able to function in a non-metro environment without a car. The only time a person should have their driving privilege taken away unless they hurt someone. So the point is if another person doesn't pay into either health or auto insurance. The people who do pay lose. Because their rates increase. I don't see any significant punishment for people who do without either insurance. Because I know illegal immigrants pull stunts like these all the time. So I just don't see how their different.""

How Can I Get Cheap Auto Insurance?

im 18 i just got my lisence i have a 93 ford ranger that my dad can put in my name. my parents are seperated. my mom has excellent driving record and good policy. if i get on her policy. can i drive the truck if its in my name ? im not sure im just trying to get auto insurance. and i have no one to help :(

Is insurance expensive if i buy a 2005 scion tc??

I am turning 18 in a week, and am looking to buy a car. I love the scion tc, but they are new cars (they came out in 20050 so i dont know if it is affordable for me. Ive never been in a car accident so my insurance is at its normal level right now, but how much will the insurance be?""

Business Insurance?

Also what type of insurance does one need for a dollar store?

""For a 16 year old how much does insurance cost for a year, an average, and what is out there that is the best?""

insurance plan, only answer if u have insurance or have experience""

Citroen saxo car insurance?

How much would this cost for a 17 year old male who has just passed his test?

Car insurance?

about how much is car insurance for: -16 year old Male -from the suburbs of chicago -new car ('06)

How long will it take for your auto insurance cost to go down?

How long will it take for your auto insurance cost to go down?

How much is motorcycle insurance in michigan?

I know it is hard to get an exact quote without knowing all the information, but I just need a range. I am looking at a 196cc 5 speed dirtbike that has been made street legal, and just need ~3 months of insurance. Would this be in the $100-200 range? Higher? Lower?""

Which state does someone have to live in for cheap car insurance?

Which state does someone have to live in for cheap car insurance?

I was in a car wreck how much should i ask for from insurance company?

i had to go to the hospital for whiplash very painfull also missed over a week of work they are paying for the repairs top my car but what about me .........i was sitting at a red light and this chick crashed in to me from behind

Anyone know of an affordable auto insurance that is nationwide?

small companies/ customer friendly , with a website""

Where can I get an information of car insurance??

I am 18 years old and I want to get a car insurance... where can I get the CHEAPEST but safe car insurance??? THank you... how much is the car insurance for 18-year-old boy???

Car Insurance for Young Drivers; How much do you pay? (UK)?

I'm planning on getting a car later this year just after I've passed my test (I'm 17). I just want a small, cheap car- something like a Ford Ka or an old Vauxhall Corsa. I just wondered if anyone's got a good cheap deal cos it looks like it's going to cost me loads.""

How much does your credit rating affect your car insurance premium?

The CSR from my company just told me that continuous coverage is much more of a discount than a good credit rating gives you. So, overall, about what percent do folks in the know think that the credit rating matters?""

What's the best way to get a lower rate when it's time to renew my auto insurance?

my insurance is due next month, but I think I deserve a lower rate, and shouldn't just renew""

Where to get car insurance quote?

Where to get car insurance quote?

""Just moved to Louisiana, do I have to change my address, driver's license, and transfer my car insurance?""

I moved from Minnesota a couple weeks ago and I'm afraid it's going to be expensive to change all of these, especially my insurance due to the increased crime rate here in New Orleans. Is this illegal to leave be? I am really quite clueless. What about when my tabs expire in December? Also I bank with Bremer bank which is only available in the midwest, do I need to change it? Can I keep my checking and savings accounts and open a checking account here at a Chase bank as well?""

Can I get my own car insurance on a learners permit?

I am purchasing a new Altima on Wednesday. I am buying the car completely out but to take it off the lot you have to have insurance. Can I get car insurance on a learners permit? I'm 18. (Please don't answer if you don't know the actual answer. I don't need any opinions I need facts) Thank you in advance.

Do disabled people get cheaper car insurance or any other benefits?

Do disabled people get cheaper car insurance or any other benefits?

""I have just passed my driving test, I am 17 years old and I need help on car insurance?""

I know it is very hard to get cheap car insurance for 17 years old and a new driver, but surely out there is a good deal for young drivers and isn't too expensive.""

Car insurance for a 17 year old boy?

Hello Yesterday, I passed my driving test and am, of course, really looking forward to driving. I spotted a Renault Clio I liked with a 1.1 litre engine. It's nothing special, just a first car (which would mean the world to me) I was always aware insurance was going to be a struggle. I insured myself with Provisional Marmalade while I was still learning, so I could drive my mum and dad's car as additional practice. Prov. Marm. have another part to their company, Young Marmalade for newly passed drivers, apparently giving you the best quotes, however I couldn't find anything under 3000! I am a 17 year old boy living in the Northeast of Scotland, one of the most common places for a collision in the whole of the UK. However, I am not in anyway a dangerous driver. My dad has been driving for 50 years and told me he feels very safe while driving with me as a learner, and I always stay within the speed limit, with the exception of if I don't realise I'm doing over the limit. My mum and dad have been saving some money for me for about 10 years, but it's only about 1300, and I don't have any more money apart from that. It's not going to be enough and I have really been let down by the insurance, because that Clio I saw was 600. The lowest quote I managed to find was 1634.70 a year from the Co-Operative Young Driver insurance, and with that you get a device fitted in your car to monitor how you drive, and if you drive within speed limits, and safely, I guess your monthly cost comes down a little bit. Anyway, I'm waffling on here. My question was, does anybody know of a REALLY good insurer for 17 year old boys who would: -take their price down for one of thse devices being fitted -offer decent discounts for Pass Plus or an Advanced Driving course? A car and amazingly cheap insurance would mean the world to me at the moment, because there's nothing worse than the feeling of only getting 1 minor fault on your test then realising you can't drive due to the greedy bastard insurance companies. Thanks for all the help.""

Does anyone know a good AFFORDABLE car insurance provider for someone with a DUI/accident?

I'm in New Jersey if that matters.. thanks!

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tennessee insurance defense attorneys

What's the cheapest auto insurance company in New Jersey?

I live in Newark and my insurance keeps going up. I have a 2002 ford focus with geico and although I got a speeding ticket and a seat belt ticket, it has gone up a little to much. PLEASE HELP!!!""

Cheap car insurance for a 17 year old male on a Vauxhall Corsa?

I'm looking to buy a 1.0 Litre Corsa, but all quotes are coming out at around 2500. I've even tried the companies that monitor you by GPS and there prices are even more expensive :L Please, any cheap companies, or tips and tricks to get the price down?""

Should I get earthquake insurance?

I live in California. The quote I got was $150K dwelling, $5K personal property. The deductible is $22,500 and the annual premium is $370. Is this worth it?""

Insurance for two vechiles with teen driver?

getting my license very soon and I want to buy a truck for many reasons but thats not important. With gas prices going up a pickup isnt the cheapest to just drive around so I also wanted a economy car. I was gonna buy a truck for around 5 grand and put that under my moms name and rank me as a restricted driver. Then get a beater civic for like 2500 insure it under my name and I would be the primary driver, and I could use that to drive to school and around town and use the truck to haul things and such. What would I be looking at in insurance costs""

How much will my car insurance go up if I make a claim?

I crashed into someone and my bonnet is crumpled up, it will only cost 100 to repair, so is it worth getting insurance involved? How much will my insurance go up if I do make a claim? (The other person involved is my neighbour and their car wasn't damaged so they are not bothered either way.) My car insurance is currently 1000 per year""

Best optical insurance?

Which insurance is accepted at the most places?

First time Insurance Buyer!?

My parents recently told me that I have to pay for my own insurance (Damn economy). I would be driving a 2005 Chevrolet Suburban and a 2004ish Suzuki Sedan. Sorry I don't know the makes and my parents don't want to tell me because they are afraid I am giving away their emails to all of the insurance companies. I am 16 years old, and have a 3.3 GPA. I noticed another answer somebody said attach to the parents. My mom was rear-ended and has 1 moving violation, my dad has been accident/ticket free for 40 years, if that makes a difference at all.""

How to lower price for car insurance?

Hi.So I bought Renault Clio 1.2 16v Extreme for 2.5k . It has modifited alloys (16'),tinted black windows and back lights a'la Lexus. Obviously car was from 2nd hand so these modifications arent worth more than 250-300. I'm 18 years old and Im holding my driving license for 1 month. I quoted myself on many car insurance websites and all I see is 2900-3300 to insure it if I type that my car is modifited (without mods it's 1,8k to insure) ! My question is: Is there car insurance company that will not cover modifited parts but it will cover rest of the car so I'll pay like for non-modifited car? If it is - what's the name of that company. Thank you.""

How to get different types of insurance?

Dental, health, medical, etc. Im graduating HS and my parents are taking me off there's. They say it's time to grow up and support myself. I fully understand. And I have no complaints. So that's why I'm asking. I just got a job, so would that help?? I'm taking a break from school (college) for a couple years.""

What health insurance can i get? i have been rejected by all the insurances do to the fact that im obese?

im 20yrs old and weigh 350 pounds im only 5 7 and dont have health insurance ive been rejected by all. i need to see a doctor because lately i haven't been feeling to good and i know its because of my weight. also i would like to get a gastric bypass but i need good insurance but no one is willing to give me insurance. but i would atleast like to have any kind of insurance to go see a doctor. please help because im slowly diying. oh and i live in california and my job doesnt offer insurance.

Who does the cheapest car insurance?

Who does the cheapest car insurance?

How much will my car insurance go up after my first ticket?

I'm 19 and live in VA and got my first speeding ticket tonight (77 in a 60). I've never been in an accident or anything before, but I was just wondering if anyone had any idea about how much my insurance rate will go up? and will going to court/driving school affect what happens with the insurance rate, because otherwise i was just going to pay it online.. thaaaanks!""

Car Insurance?

Ok, first does anyone know which states do not require car insurance? Second question is do you have to have full coverage on a financed car? No silliness here real answers.""

I need to find a good Car no older then lets say 1999! Thats good on Gas and low Insurance! Low Price $5000 <!

Hi my name is James. I am a college student and I am looking for a used car to get me through college and maybe Further! I am hoping to spend under $5000 Dollars. I need it to be able to have a lower insurance rate then lets say a sports car. I also need something thats has a very good fuel efficacy! I am a tall guy but can fit into any thing! So if any of you know of a car that looks almost good has good gas millage and is not too expensive on car insurance let me know! ASAP!!!!!! Oh and this car not one I want to buy online or privately. It is one I want to buy from a car dealer ship this is just to help me lock down my search!

Average price for mobile home insurance?

I am thinking about buying a mobile home from a family member and was wondering if anyone could give me some ideas on how much home owners insurance might cost

""Car Insurance in GA, if it is expired?""

i dont know if this is the right category, but my insurance expired and i drove the car not knowing, and i just went to my insurance provider and they said i will be fined? what type of fine and does it add points to my license? any additional information to it that i dont know? it is in Georgia.""

How can I get affordable health insurance with a preexisting condition?

My fiance has Hep C and is actually in very good health otherwise.... Kaiser will not take us with his pre existing condition, and some of the prices I have seen are through the ...show more""

Am I being cheated by the car insurance company?

I was on a bike and I accidentally hit someone's car and broke the back windshield. Nothing else on the car is damaged except windshield. Later the car owner's car insurance company (state farm) send me a payment of $1700, and they have a subrogation service (Afni) to collect payment. First of all, I believe it DOES NOT cost $1700 to replace a back windshield, like I mentioned, nothing else was damage except the windshield on the back. How is this amount calculated? The subrogation service has been pressuring me to pay the amount. I will pay for the damage but I don't believe I have to pay this much. Could this be the owner of the car falsify the claim? What should I do? I don't have car insurance, I was on my bike. It was a total accident.""

""Would you buy a health insurance policy if it was not required of you, yet affordable?

a. I'll wait until I'm required to b. No way c. Absolutely e. I want one for free because I don't have a job and I live in my mom's basement

Monthly insurance for a Mustang?

I'm a 17 year old male and was wondering what the monthly insurance would be on a mustang? And if you know if a certain years model is the cheapest post that to please?

Traffic ticket gave the officer wrong car insurance?

I got my first traffic ticket yesterday my frist violation is i forgot to put a sticker on my car... And the secon violation i gave him the wrong (expired) car insurance instead of ...show more

What is the cheapest possible insurance available?

Including the cheapest car to insure and the best way to go about insuring that car. What is the cheapest insurance i can get? Thanks for any help

Switching car insurance providers?

am i able to switch car insurance providers before my year is up? i have 8 months left but i have had a cheaper quote elsewhere which saves me 900 a year!

Is Health Insurance Innovation a good insurance company?

I'm scouting for a cheaper health insurance plan and so far Health Insurance Innovation offers a cheaper price. It's $50/month for pretty basic stuff and it's $2500 deductible.

Cheap sportbike insurance calgary alberta?

Cheap sportbike insurance calgary alberta?

tennessee insurance defense attorneys

tennessee insurance defense attorneys

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/maryland-insurance-ce-requirements-daniel-gonzales/"

[electronspeed]

Working Paper... the Speed of Light

WHAT IS THE CAUSE OF THE SPEED OF LIGHT? A THEORY BY TERRY DAVID (BUTCH) SILVERCLOUD Vancouver, B.C., Canada, I'm not online but check my mail regularly. 15 March, 2018 This paper will be widely distributed.  If you have received a copy it is because I think you may have a decent grasp of the contents and it may be useful to your work.  Please spread it around.  The concept is extraordinarily simple... as Einstein expected.  I have no idea what uses this knowledge will have.  I hope it helps the humans for whom I hold little hope.  I'm quite friendly, not shy at all, but quite reclusive.  You must prove, to me, you are worthy of my time.  I'm quite serious.  I don't trust humans.  Prove to me you aren't a walking talking animal or hubris filled hypocrite.  You must earn my respect.  I don't wait up.  I'm online, from time to time, to check my mail.  I don't text, ever. WHAT SETS THE SPEED OF LIGHT? WHAT IS THE CAUSE OF THE SPEED OF LIGHT? WHY IS IT IMPOSSIBLE TO EXCEED LIGHT SPEED? The recognized Speed of Light in space is: 299,792,485Km/s 299,792,485,000 meters per second (103) 299,792,485,000,000 milli-meters per second (106) 299.792,485 mm/s 299,792,485 Nano-Meters per Nano Second  (10-9) 299,792,485 Pico-Meters per Pico Second (10-12) 299,792, 485 Femto-Meters per Femto Second (10-15) 299,792,485,000 Atto-Meters per Atto-Second (10-18)

SIZE MATTERS

Foreword

I will use the American spelling of the word 'meter'.  All other spelling is Canadian English.  I'm not noted for my good spelling but I gave it my best shot.  Even if I made an error in spelling or got a number wrong, here or there, made a typo, or whatever... I'm more than certain the theory is so very sound and logical you will come to see how correct it is.

Have you ever noticed that, when you are trying to find something... looking for something and can't seem to find it while, all along, it was right in front of you?  You were too busy looking in the corners.

While the things, of which, I will talk about seem easy and clear to me, I know that it may be difficult for most.  I have tried my very best to be simple, use simple language, and avoid math to explain what, once you see it, is an extremely simple concept.  It's one of those "why didn't I think of that?" kind of things.  I'm guessing none of us ever asked the right questions.  It came to me as a complete, total, and unexpected accident. It wasn't even what I was looking for.

I have always had a knack for noticing things out of place or interesting.  I seem to have a knack for spotting visual anomalies and am good at analyzing things... figuring out how they work by examination.  When I was in Sonar School while serving in the Navy, an exam question asked for firing solutions to take upon a particular brand new class of nuclear submarine in England, the Dreadnought class of submarines, nuclear powered and all brand new (I was in England at Submarine Sonar School in Gosport, England, 1967, while serving with the First Submarine Squadron stationed there.  I got to visit a James Bond kind of facility, lots of white labcoat types, in a secret location, with armed guards at the entrance, to see the Tigerfish torpedo development based around brand new sonar ideas  in 1967).

I mention this to show you how I have a knack for thinking outside the box.  Anyhow, I gave an answer for finding the angle on the bow of the submarine, a critical factor in determining a firing solution (how to blow it out of the water with a torpedo).  When we got our results of the test back, the instructor read out my answer.  He told me I was correct and the answer was now classified as secret.  I can't tell you more than that except the next generation of these new sonars made a quick correction to the issue to avoid the vulnerability posed by the problem I had pointed out.

I'm 73 as I write this.  I left school, at age 18, 1963, and went directly to Naval Officer School.  The Navy thought I was already smart and knowledgeable enough so they made me an Officer at age 19.  I got to navigate HMCS Cape Scott for a year and took her on Great Circle Routes to Europe and South America.  I had a pretty good grasp of Relative Motion when I was 22 (1966).  I was a pretty good navigator (HMCS Cape Scott 1966-67).  The thing is, my plans to become a physicist and work at Bell Labs to invent a flat screen TV screen never happened (1963).  I had planned to go to University after my seven year stint.  The Navy offered me a permanent commission several times but I turned them down.  I wouldn't get back to physics until I went into semi retirement in 2002.

In 2002, I was thinking about how something could be HERE and THERE at the same time.  I looked up Einstein... A difficult read because of the old school language, and I noticed he didn't notice a few things, but waves were all brand new at the time (1916).

I looked at the Quantum Mechanics view of reality but singularities exist only on a blackboard and can't have spin because they don't have occupancy of space and time...  Hereness and Thereness in time...  one can't pin down a singularity.  It didn't help me with the HERE and THERE issue but there is a very simple solution... a singularity need only exceed the Speed of Light for any given time.... after all, time is relative.  Time is related to SIZE and how big or small things are... such as yourself.  You are a nice convenient kind of size... not too big, not too small.  You can observe the micro and macro.

So... to be HERE and THERE, at the SAME time at rest, relatively, so to speak, one need only be a singularity moving at 4/3 (P c3) which is the formula for a sphere where the radius is the speed of light within a TIME FRAME appropriate for your size).  My studies, accidentaly, led me to a theory about why solids are solids, gasses are gasses, liquids are liquids, why semi-solids are semi solids.  I also learned that nothing can EVER travel in a true circle, in time, unless it can exceed the speed of light.  Our Solar System moves in a kind of skinny sine wave 7 billion kilometers per yearly cycle through space (See Appendix 1).  Nothing moves in a circle except as a relative illusion of the observer.  But, I digress.

I got back into physics about 2002 and I learned there is a lot of bad and false information out there and a lot of the people who think they know what they know, don't know what they know, or don't know much at all.  I'm pretty reclusive these days, so much so that I no longer maintain an internet connection, don't give out my  phone number and,mostly, avoid the humans.  I see the human race heading for a horrific future and you won't want to be here.  Seriously, I mean it... no hope for the bulk of the human race.  I fully expect a mass die off in the coming century of BILLIONS of people from starvation.

The world of physics is overflowing with false equivalencies and fallacies of ambiguity.  Not everyone who is supposed to have a clue, actually does.  There are many misinformed pundits, out there, most of them in popular media.  One can't much believe anything one hears in media, and what is in print may not be correct, either.  One has to know one's stuff and you don't know what you don't know.  I have a rather unusual advantage in that I'm well informed, love electronics, have been familiar with Electrical Laws since I was 14 years old, have a pretty good science education with physics, and have done a huge variety of things in my life... I don't look at things as most would.  In my old age I'm a painter and I was a very high end film photographer.  I visualize things in my mind.

My work in the study of matter and motion led me to write a semi-fiction book, "The Shape of God" (http://The-Shape-of-God.Tumblr.com) in which I attempted to include all the ideas I had at the time.  A lot of time passed after I wrote the manuscript for my book which included my theory about the nature of Solids, Liquids, and Gasses.  Then, around 2015, I began to wonder about Electrons because they simply didn't fit well in my general theory... they fit, but terribly the way I imagined they might.  They really needed to have shape... no round edges allowed.

I had taught myself how TV, Radar and radio worked when I was 14, so Electrons were my old friends.  Nobody pays them much attention, even though they are the most abundent Fermions/Leptons in the Universe.  In my theory about solids, liquids and gasses they didn't much matter because I was focused on motion... but they didn't fit in well with my theory about how matter forms, in the first place.  I needed much, much, much smaller parts and, according to my theory about shapes, they needed vertices, edges and faces... lots of faces would be good.  Multiple possible poles would be even better... so it wasn't stuck with just two directions of spin... how about 10 or 20 possible poles and, therefore, multiple spin possibilities?  Wobble would be a piece of cake with multiple poles one could change at random.  For instance, the most highly manoeuverable aircraft is also the most unstable.  A fighter like the F-22 can not be flown without computer assisted controls because a human couldn't possibly react fast enough.  The Algorithms will smooth things out.  Electrons have very little energy... one quantum.  It's pretty easy to boss them around.  Watch out when they show up in force.

The most stable shape with the least number of parts etc. is a Tetrahedron.  It means having parts smaller that might NOT be Tetrahedrons but I had a work around for that... reality has to be fractal and time is relative to how large you are... and we are moving very, very, very fast through space... at least 500kms.  Tetrahedrons would provide resistance, in circuits.  Tetrahedrons weren't good for building things... you can't tile the universe with Tetrahedrons.  I needed a better shape and found the Icosahedron to fit the bill in every way.  Extremely stable and, ta da, made of tetrahedrons, a tightly bound ball of tetrahedrons.  Very nice.

Prof. J.W. Gregory was first to point out the Earth's affinity to a tetrahedron, whoe edges represented the main lines of mountain folding.

But, I wanted to speak of False Equivalencies and Fallacy of Ambiguity (look it up).  I have HUGE issues with the term PHOTON.  Photons are NOT light but everyone thinks they are.  We need a new concept about that. I'll get into Photons, as well as my reason why the Electron sets the speed of light.  Why the Electron is the clock of our reality which is all rather binary, at the elemental level and why Photons, while associated with light, are NOT light.  One may fit a ton of Photons into the wavelength of a single red wave of 666 nanometers.  That's a lot of Electrons and a truckload of photons.  What's going on?  Remember, there is no light out there, it's all in your head.  You could just as well see by radio waves if you had the correct antennae and receiver.  Light waves are a big deal to we mammals because of our physical size.  If we were a virus we would be too small to know light even existed.    We could not have antennae long enough to detect the frequencies of light, nor heat.  We live in a vibrating universe where matter, the solid stuff, is in short supply.  The universe is mostly invisible.  The solid stuff has bouyancy and is trying to find rest in an ever moving ocean that is our infinite universe.

I would appreciate feedback, but I'm 73 and not well.  I live in pain and have pain management not working as well as I would wish.  I don't expect to live much longer and I want to get these ideas out there.  I just wish to pass on what I think to others who will have some idea of what I'm speaking about.  I don't meet people who have any grasp of what I'm talking about.  If I repeat myself, my apologies in advance.  I can be a bit ADHD and OCD.

This theory is being re-produced in several hundred copies... as I'm able to print and mail them.  I live on a small pension and would be considered poor by anyone's standards... the artist's life.  Feel free to reproduce this and spread it around.  You will be doing me a favour and saving me money... a win-win for moi.

Things to think about. We don't know what we don't know.  A blind man can not see.

WAVES Waves may be short or long... even Kilometers long and no two frequencies, nor different frequency wave-lengths may occur in the same time span.  No two different frequency wave-lengths occupy the same time.  Time is set by the smallest measuring unit... the Electron. Light Wave-Fronts move at 299.792,485 mm/nanosecond just less than one foot.  Bring light down to size to think about it.  In one billionth of a second, light moves only a bit less than ONE FOOT.  Light Speed, at the atomic level has relativity issues we need to think about.  Space has resistance to motion, whether physical motion of objects, or Electromagnetic Waves.  Space has Quantum Units of Energy opposing all motion.  A quantum of energy is directly related to the Electron.  All our measurements seem to like the Electron as a base reference.

When Electrons move, they disturb reality around them... all reality including space.  They leave a particular kind of trail behind them... they leave a wake, just like a ship in water, or an aircraft in air... contrails, shock waves both physical and electromagnetic. ONE IN/ONE OUT If an Electron sets the speed of light, it need only move its diameter to move at the speed of light... to move from HERE to THERE.  It doesn't really matter how fast it does that... it will depend upon the wave energy being moved.  It's one in, one out, no matter the length until equilibrium is achieved between the forces at either end.  It matters not if it's push, or pull... they both work equally as well.  What is going on is energy seeking rest and looking for somewhere to go.  It can push as many electrons as the quantum per unit of time it holds or transmits.

Electromagnetic energies are transmited Electron to Electron. Nothing may get from here to there except with the help of Electrons.

The Electron is a particle.  They are larger than whatever is 'in between" so, as a bouyant 'object' in the sea of space, it MUST displace its own volume... one in, one out.  The Electron's size and characteristics set the Speed of Electromagnetic Waves.  We can only detect those waves with Electrons.  We are Electronic beings using Electronic nerve networks.  Your brain works with Electrons.  Are you getting the drift?  How small is small is not important and doesn't matter when it comes to the Speed of Light.  The messenger can move only as quickly as it may and it can't exceed its own energy.  It may easily deflect it.

We must, first, recognize that when we speak of The Speed of Light we are discussing all Electromagnetic waves and the WAVE FRONT, not the wave, itself.  The reason is that a wave can be picometers in wavelength, gigahertz in frequency or kilometers in wavelength if only a few cycles per second... they need different amounts of time in which to exist.  Single wave to single wave, different waves need more time to even exist.

The Speed of Light is for the Electomagnetic WAVE  FRONT, not how long it takes, in time, to detect an entie wave, end to end.  And, remember, longest is strongest.  Short or long waves need energy... it takes more energy to create a long wave than a short wave... think tsunami.  A single Electron can not make a wave, except over time and distance... while it is on the move and, even then, it would be only a PART of the wave, not the actual wave.  If it moves only the distance of its diameter, it is only half of a wave... waiting to be completed.  A half spin will produce half a wave of a wave length equal to two times the diameter of the Electron.  To be a single wave, an Electron need only rotate, completely, once.  It is sort of between Here and There as its own diameter... it's only a half spin object, as it were.  The energy can just roll off it's sleeves, so to speak.  If it can't roll, it can be pushed... think DC current.

Whatever the physical shape of an Electron might be, it is best thought of as a sphere for motion purposes.  I expect it has the shape of an Icosahedron which I will talk about.

The only wave that fits an Electron is one with a path twice the distance of the Electron's diameter, i.e, the length of the path will be the circumferance of the Electron.  It is so small that that frequency will be in the Peta or Exa frequency range.  There are a lot of Electrons in the path of one single RED WAVE of 666 nanometers.  That's a lot of Electrons along that path, and Electrons, themselves, don't move that far very quickly.  There are a lot of Electrons in one foot.  If one Electron enters an electrical circuit, another "pops out" at the other end, at the speed of light.  But... the original Electron is still at the back of the line moving forward.

Visible light has a very short bandwidth of less than one micron/1,000 Nanometers, among waves as short as Femtometers or Atometers (10-18), and longer than household Electrical Waves which are about 5,000 meters long.  Different waves occupy more, or less, time than others, as individual waves.  In order to stand still in a light speed universe, a singularity must move at 4/3 P c3 where the radius of influence is a given time... i.e.  this is the formula for the volume of a sphere where the radius will be any given amount of time.  At that velocity, a singularity will be everywhere, all at once, at the SAME time when viewed at the Speed of light... using data arriving at your brain at the speed of light (by way of the Electron as their is no other way).

I should mention, often, that I have my own views of the structure of the universe.  Remember that theories are theories, not facts.  I view Electrons as the ball bearings and micro motors which drive our reality... just so you know.  I've been playing with Electons for more than 60 years and common household power is child's play, to me.

HELIUM 1. Stellated GyroBiFastigium, 2. Yin Yan, 3. Model of Helium as a gas at point of condensation. I veiw reality as structured, where shapes dictate state.  Heat wave-lengths are destructive because they so, closely, match the size of the physical size of atoms and molecules... and resonate with them because of the Electrons in the atoms... which are magnets.

ICOSAHEDRON/THE SHAPE OF AN ELECTRON?

This is a theory about the cause of the Speed of Light.  That cause is the physical size (diameter and circumference) and other characteristics of a sub-atomic particle (Fermion/Lepton) called the Electron.  I believe the Electron to be, generally, indestructable and to always have the characteristics of a solid.  In a different theory I propose that shape is what gives matter the distinction of presenting as a solid, liquid, gass, semi-solid or liquid, and plasma.  That theory proposes that solids have electonic vertices, faces and edges while liquids are spheroids, gasses are torri, and flattened shapes are semi solids... such as a flattened spheroid being pancake shaped.  So, while I consider an Electron to have the shape of an Icosahedron constructed of parts too small to detect with current technology, you may take the position that the Electron is a sphere, in the following theory.  I will explain how it may seem be a wave, and how it partakes of electronic waves. THE QUESTIONS How big is big?  How small is small?  How fast is fast?  How slow is slow?  What is time?  What is the relationship between size, velocity, and time?  What is light?  How is light related to size and time?  What are the means, by which, we perceive reality?  What has the Speed of Light to do with our reality?  Why does some reality present as solid, while others present as gasses or liquids and other less understood forms of matter such as plasma?  Is our physical size a serious consideration upon how we perceive reality?

WHAT CAUSES THE SPEED OF LIGHT? A Theory by Terry David Silvercloud. This work assumes that the reader will have some education and experience in the world of physics... at least a high school level understanding.  The majority of physicists, on the planet, are doing applied physics.  This work is theoretical... my point being most physicists are great with solving problems using existing formulae and knowledge but not always well suited to research or theory.  There aren't a lot of jobs available in pure research, so the majority of physicists are busy making a living solving problems with existing knowledge.  You will need to let go of any pre-held notions and let your imagination soar to delve into the black unknown of the unknown... is the cat dead or alive?  Pure math and speculation is all very nice and Quantum Mechanics has revealed some wonderful things... but we still can't answer the really big questions.

I have some issues with OCD and ADHD so forgive me if I'm overly wordy and repetitive.  I'm noted for being a motormouth and can go on and on like a dripping tap.

There must be some very simple kinds of answers to some very big questions.  Good organization requires looking after the basics.  Look after the little things and the big things tend to look after themselves.  All great ideas come from the imagination... triggered by things heard and seen.  I'm a photographer and painter in acrylics, oils and alkyds paints and well suited to using my imagination.  I don't have to worry about losing tenure for being a bit radical.  Physics, as Lee Smolin pointed out in "The Trouble with Physics" has a kind of hierarchy and it's not safe to rock the boat with ideas that rock the foundations of what we already think we know.  You don't know what you don't know.  Blind people don't know what they aren't seeing.

Theoretical Physics requires looking inside Shrodinger's box to see what happened to the cat.  Someone had to do it... here we go.  While there will be some rather large numbers involved, the math is basic and simple.  I would like to remind the reader that Michael Faraday was a grade school educated young man who was working as a bookbinder before Sir Humphry Davy plucked him out of obscurity, noting that he was a very smart young man with a bent for scientific thinking, and set him to work on the new-fangled electricity problems... magnets and such.  Faraday was a bookbinder, a bit of a loner, and a customer at the shop gave him a ticket to a lecture by Humphry Davy, the Queen's scientist.

That was a pretty big deal to Faraday who was not well off... bookbinding didn't pay all that well, and he was interested in science.  He went to the lecture, took copious notes, then bound them in leather and sent them to Sir Humphry who was so impressed, he hired Michael Faraday to work for him.  Sir Humph may have taken some of the credits for the discoveries, but we know it was Faraday who came up with our first modern ideas of Electrical and Magnetic Laws.

Sometimes a fertile imagination is more valuable than the learning of a million books.  The books help, but the mind needs to go to the dark places without fear and predjudice or superstitions.  No clue is too small to be overlooked.

I, like all physicists, have my own predjudices about what is what and who is right about what but, that said, I have no axes to grind with any theories and my ideas should fit in, nicely, with just about all with no serious issues.  I should, however, mention that my feeling is that Gravity is nothing more than Fermions and all energies to come to rest... but they can't because they can't share the same space, at the same time... ye olde Pauli Principle.  Gravity is push, not pull.  It works out the same, more or less.  I'm just warning you that I have a very solid theory about gravity and it is a repercussion of the battles between matter and non-structured matter all with inherent desire to come to rest but never can because a point source reality is not possible.  Point sources exist only on a blackboard full of Calculus.

All things have spin and transmit spin because everything is connected to everything all at once all of the time forever.  The byproducts of spin are poles... objects with opposite spin.  It can't be helped and there will always be a 50-50 left right spin balance going on... trying to correct the  balance between physical and Electromagnetic Forces.

Following the Law of Large Numbers, if we put a large enough number of spinning balls (Electrons) into Shroedinger's Box and that box is at the center of rest, relatively, at least, then all of the balls will want to be there, all at once, all of the time.  They can't... an eternal fight ensues...  there will always be Fermions and what has always existed can't be destroyed, no matter what form it takes.  Matter and energy are part of the eternal duo of empty reality and something that fills it.  Hard to make dough without getting lumps, isn't it?

If there were only TWO spinning balls put into the box, each would fight the other, to come to rest, at dead center.  Nobody seems able to win, but they may have a convenient compromise to provide relative rest, to both.

Imagine you can see into the darkness of the void of Shrodinger's Box, looking for that cat... it's here somewhere... oh, right, we ditched the cat and now we have two balls, one right spinning, the other left spinning.  Got that?  We are looking for the two balls in the void.  Let's illuminate them with Gamma Rays so we can see them... they are Electrons, after all, and LARGER than the WAVE LENGTH of the Gamma Rays which will give the Electrons some energy to get them dancing.  No time for sleep, here.  We can see in Gamma Ray and the Electrons are reflecting them so we may distinguish the two balls which will be working at aligning their spins so they may get cozy together.

I'm hoping you have the picture... TWO ELECTRONS, of opposite spin.  Side by each you will visualize one turning to the left, on its feet, while the other is the exact opposite direction... to the right.  Neither know up/down... they are side by each for a line up.  Both want to be center stage but can't.  They may share right/left legs side by each but, since there is no up, nor down anyway, why not stand feet to feet... align their spins so their feet, to each, are at rest while the bodies of both turn about their feet... at the center of rest.  Very convenient.  They seem to like it a lot.  Just try to get them apart.  Both may release maximum extra motion by being back to each, spins aligned together, and both have their feet at rest... exactly opposing the other's inertia.

They can only get closer by merging into one object.  How about 20 objects of who cares what they are made of, but they have the shape of tetrahedrons.  They are kissing cousins at war over a place of rest.  20 of them could become a very, very powerful object and do.  We call it an Icosahedron.  20 openings gathering all forces of wavelengths shorter than themselves... making slaves of all lesser material and energy forms, capturing them to do their will... be their eternal power source.  The tetrahedrons are powered by Dark Matter/Energy which is the 'stuff' in between the major Fermions in the universe.  The Electrons are in charge of the universe.  They outnumber all other Fermions, combined.

You need to know, whatever your teachings, I'm a big fan of Dark Matter and Energy being everywhere and we are using it every day of our lives.  It's everywhere... it's only DARK because we don't have the antennae to see it all.  Space Telescopes are now working ir Infra Red and Xray and some Gamma Ray frequencies so we are seeing farther into the DARK every day.

In space, everywhere, whatever you choose to believe in whatever theory you believe in, there is energy in space, everywhere, all at once, all of the time... radio waves, X-rays, Gamma Rays and such.  If you choose to not care if it is matter, or energy when it seems like nothing, that can work, so long as one acknowledges that there is SOMETHING between the Electtrons which, as we know, may transmit Electromagnetic Waves of all frequencies... shortest, to longest.

Meanwhile, back in the box.  Fermions are objects larger than whatever is in between them... they 'float' by their buoyancy, or 'fall/move' by their mass/energy.  My point is they will be on the move, always but, if the Fermions are not destroyable (think Electrons), then eternity is infinite because, although they may not have always been... probably were, no two may break the Pauli Principle and the Universe will be powered from the Electrons on up.  The energy source, for the entire universe, is widely distributed at the smallest level of material reality, to us, at the level of the Electron.  They want to find rest but never will.  They push their way around.  Gravity is push, not pull and, like everything else, is powered at the smallest level of material reality, the Electron, one Electron at a time.  There is no shortage of them... ZILLIONS of tiny, extremely stable, permanent magnets that seem not destructable.  I like to assume they are made of Dark Matter which also generates Gamma Rays.  We can generate Gamma Rays by hitting certain tough metals with high beam Electrons.  So... where, exactly, are those Gamma Rays coming from, the metal, or the Electrons?

As for the stuff "in between", whatever it is you think it is, might is right.  The Electrons are the bullies of the universe and will just push the little fellows out of the way, or dump their excess energy into them.  Nothing is going anywhere unless an Electron says so.

Theoretical Physicists are the detectives of the physic's world... trying as best they can to solve the most unsolvable of problems.  An open mind and good observations skills are essential.

I am 73 years old.  I never got to practice physics.  I went straight from high school into the Canadian Naval Officer School in Esquimalt, B.C, at the time and, at age 19 I was a Sub-Lieutenant in the navy.  My naval experience was helpful when I finally got back to looking a physics around 2002.

In 1966 I was the Navigator of HMCS Cape Scott and got to take her to Europe and South America.  Viewing the world from a moving platform in a moving ocean on a moving planet with moving stars was all rather normal for me.  I was wondering how something could be HERE and THERE at the same time and realized the answer was, extraordinarily, simple.  One only need exceed the speed of light.  It didn't take much longer to realize that velocity was set by the formula for the volume of a sphere.

My study of relativity and motion made me realize that NOTHING ever goes in a true/absolute motion. All motion is wave motion... ALL MOTION.  Nothing sits still.  You are flying around the world and through space and about 500KMS, right now.  Your body is trying to find rest but never will.  It is trying to find rest at the center of the Earth and pushing you down to it.  I believe Gravity is push,not pull... a result of objects trying to find rest in an ever moving universe.  We fly through space, south pole forward, towards the center of our galaxy.  I made a YouTube video about that which you may find here... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPjohZCMwmI  or search YouTube for "David Silvercloud, Fixing Einstein".

In 2002 I went on to develop a good theory about why Solids are solids and why Liquids are liquid, and Gasses are gasses, etc.  I had issues with the Electron but have had a good relationship with Electrons since I was about 14 when I taught myself how radio, TV, Radar and most electronic things worked.  I'm good at mental visualization, not great at math.  I have had a mental image of how Electrons work since I was 14 years old.

When I read Einstein's Relativity, I noticed he didn't look at waves, at all, in his mental pictures of the railway car and observers.  But, waves were all brand new, at that time, and light was not well understood even in 1916.  My gut feeling is that light isn't, exactly, what we think it is anyway and I have HUGE issues with the word 'Photon' because it is so misunderstood.

There have been many fantastic inventions and advances in applied physics over the past 75 years but no real breakthroughs in Theoretical Physics.  Lots of theories going nowhere.  Even Big Bang Theory is so shot full of holes that only the brain dead would believe it.  Relativity, also, has serious, serious issues nobody likes to talk about.  Face it, there is something wrong with General and Special Relativity but nobody has come up with a better idea.  My concept thinks Big Bang is an idiot idea for Creationists, totally without a drop of any kind of logic, leaving more questions than answers.  I'm pleased that my concept allow for a GUT theory.  It enables all of reality, all at once, all of the time.  The universe is an ocean of infinite shores and energy spread over an infinite space... but, the amount of energy is a constant as it is never created, nor destroyed.  It only seeks rest which is impossible because of the duality of reality... space and stuff in it which eventuates two kinds of spin for any object occupying anything larger than a theoretical point source/ a singularity of no mass nor size, only co-ordinates in time.  There is no center and nothing sits still.  All quite mind numbing, isn't it?

Any sane person will come to recognize that eternity is all rather normal, and infinity is also.  There is no edge to reality and can't be... there is no logic in that.  Throw your superstions out the window and face reality.  There are no gods and the universe has always existed and always will.  The humans, I don't expect to be so fortunate and I have zero faith in the human race.  I'll be dead soon enough and, if you don't pay me any attention, it matters not.  I expect a horrific future for the human walking talking animals.  I'll be out of here.  I have no respect for humans any more... none.  I care not a wit what you think of me and I keep to myself.  I assume I'm constantly surrounded by idiots who are a danger to themselves and everyone around them.

About a year ago, I took a break from my painting... I'm tryng to be an artist in my old age, and began trying to figure out how Electrons fit into the solid, liquid and gass picture.  I determined it had to be, like all particles, a shape but spheres were not allowed for mathematical reasons I'm certain you will understand... too many edges and surfaces etc.

At first, I determined that it must be a Tetrahedron, that being the most stable shape in the universe, but that seemed like a bad shape to move through metals... I needed something more spherical yet extremely stable... indestructable kind of shape.  That shape is the Icosahedron.  That leads to some idea what number and size the more elementary Dark Matter particles must take to build Electrons.  I was not looking at the Speed of Light, at all.  I was trying to determine the shape of the Electron and how it fit into my view of the Elements.

I look at Atoms as being highly similar to Hoberman Sphere's... jointed structures where Electrons are the ball bearings.  That allows the element to change shape from solid, to liquid, to gass.  My best guess is that the Elements, as solids, take the shapes of the Johnson Solids for the non radioactive elements... just my view.  I don't like the concept of Photons and I don't like Big Bang Theory.... just throwing that in so you know where I'm coming from.  Big Bang is so full of holes I can't believe any sane scientist would fall for it.  It has, as Spock* would say, no logic at all... none.

I'm one of those people who is very reclusive.  I've given up on the humans as hopeless and nobody ever has a clue about the things in which I take interest, nor do they seem to have any knowledge of much of anything at all.  I'll be dead, soon enough, so this is my attempt to spread some of my ideas.  I welcome feedback from those who might have a clue what I'm talking about.

I have enought self esteem to not give a crap what anyone thinks about me.  Your opinion will only mean something to me if you gain my respect.

Well, let's jump into it.  No hard math, just really logical theory.  Keep Michael Farraday in mind while you read this.  Thank you for your attention.  Please spread the idea.  

*Character in Star Trek

Hoberman Sphere In my view, of reality, atoms take on structure and follow the concepts seen in the Hoberman Sphere model, above... joints that allow the object to easily change size and shape.  I assume those joints are Electrons. I view Electrons as ball-bearings and power sources... if they encounter any electromagnetic energy, they will move to compensate.  If physically moved, they will seem to generate Electromagnetic Waves... and do.  A universe without structure doesn't work well for a control freak, like myself. In a universe of infinite size contained objects of equal size and mass, they would sort themselves out in equal spaces and there wouldn't be a lot of fighting going on.  If alliances are formed and groups get together, now we have a rumble and there will be winners and losers, controllers and the controlled.  There will be groups that occupy less space but act like a larger object.  An eternal struggle for balance must ensue between matter and non matter... the organized and the lesser organized.  There are only so many shapes an object may take that are unique.  We call them things like the Plantonic Solids and there is another extremely important group, the Johnson Solids.  In my world, there is structure.  Inside all cubes there exists a very interesting shape.  It may be outlined by drawing an X o the six surfaces of the cube.  Shape matters.  Size matters.

Every Sphere and Every Cube contain this shape. (Historical note:  The Kaba, in Mecca, and the First and Second Temples' Holy of Holies, of the Jews, were cubes, about 50 feet cubed.  The Merkaba Star, above right, and the Seal of Solomon/Star of David have similar shape, above.)  

OBSERVATIONS:

1:01  Electrons are magnets which are spinning gyroscopes.  They are extremely small magnets that generate weak force when they topple or wobble.  Gyroscopes may be topples and swayed by any force greater than their inertia/mass and, when done so by other Electrons, or any kind of physical force disturbing their inertia, will generate Electromagnetic Waves... they can generate/propogate energy.  Electrons do spin and can be toppled.  While they have very little energy, one at a time, they exist in numbers larger than the sum of all Protons and Neutrons... as Neutrons already contain, at least, one Electron and Protons are missing an Electron equivalent.  Might is right, and force rules.

1:02  Electrons may exchange themselves between Elements and move through "conducting Elements"... often metals.  They don't have to move to transmit energy.  They may simple 'roll' out of the way and let the energy pass while, at the same time generating a wave at 90 degrees to the motion of the electrical force.... that would be the magnetism of the Dark Matter/Energy which is also magnetic, in nature.

1:03  Electrons are Leptons/Fermions which occupy space and have mass.  They are "here and there" at the "same time".  They fill three dimensional space with their presence.  They have size.  They are singularities moving at 4/3 P c3 for the time they take to be HERE and THERE (at the SAME RELATIVE TIME) when viewed with Light Speed information.

1:04  Electrons, as particles, may be accelerated to near Light Speed and, when travelling as objects at high velocities are called Beta Radiation.

1:05  Electrons are the most abundant Fermion/Leptons in the universe.  They outnumber all other Leptons and Fermions.  Neutrinos are not considered to be a stable particle in this observation.  Might is right.

1:06  Electrons are the smallest Fermions/Leptons in the universe.  They are so small that their relatives, the Proton and Neutron have nearly 2,000 times the mass.

1:07  Electrons seem to be indestructable yet they have shape/size.  A sphere is illogical because that would require a mathematically infinite number of parts.  My best guess is that the Electron is made of smaller parts and has the shape of an Icosahedron.  That shape is extremely stable, nearly spherical, and offers many different spin poles.  It would be prudent to assume the "smaller parts" are those of Dark Matter and held together by Dark Energy.  It might be prudent to think of Gamma Rays as Dark Matter particles... I do.

1:08  All chemical and electronic action between Elements is directly dependent upon the exchange or sharing of Electrons.

1:09  No information, of any kind, may reach the human brain except by way of Electron Exchange.  No matter how fast the information is generated, we may receive it at only one Electron at a time... i.e.  it takes about one Nano Second/Foot for light speed information to travel from here to there.  If you touch a hot stove and it is three feet from your finger to your brain, it will take 3 nano seconds for the inforation to reach your brain and another three nanoseconds for the information to get back to your hand to get your finger off the hot stove element.

1:10  You can't see anything unless an electrical signal is sent from your Eye Nerve to your brain.  Your Eye Nerve is, conveniently, about one Micron in size... perfect for resonating with a one Micron Band Width of light.  Your Nerve Cells are, also, at least one Micron in Diameter so they may receive the wave length of a heat wave... about 950 nano meters in length.  Your brain gate must remain open long enough to receive that data... why you function at about 10 frames per second (why animation is always 12+ frames per second to avoid flicker).

1:11  You would not be aware of the ouchy ouch ouch of heat unless your nerve cells could detect heat with suitable antennae.  Without those nerve cells you could be burned, alive, in complete comfort.  Same thing with your eyes... the Rods and Cones are antennae tuned to the wave lengths of the light spectrum.  There is no "light" out there... it's all in your brain.  You could just as well function with sound waves or radio waves if you had suitable antennae.

1:12  The recognized Speed of Light in a vacuum is 299,792,485 nanometers per nanosecond, as is the velocity of all Electomagnetic Waves.  Light is special to humans and to matter.  Light is a repercussion of released, or reflected, Electromagnetic Energy inside a specific range of Wave Lengths... about 200-800 Nanometers.  There is no "light" unless those specific wavelengths are detected by Human Eyes.  Only Humans and Carbon Lifeforms seem to be dependent upon and recognize light waves.  Granite, it would seem, couldn't care less and will reflect light waves of frequencies that resonate with Elements within the Granite.

1:13  It is important to realize that Light is a kind of illusion based upon our actual physical size.  We have antennae in our eyes that can detect that particular frequency range of Electromagnetic waves.  It's a product of our actual physical size.  Size matters.  Size if relative to perception and reaction.

1:14  Atoms seem able to absorb or reflect energies of particular Wave Lengths.  They seem able to absorb wavelengths SHORTER than their physical size, and seem to reflect waves longer than their physical size.  Something similar seems to happen with molecules and larger structured physical bodies.  We respond to the longer wave lengths of motion we call gravity.  Gravity is energy seeking rest and never can.  Like dust bunnies in the corner, matter will collect in areas of least motion... preferably at the exact center of motion.  Gravity is a result of motion... energy seeking rest that never can.  No two Electrons may occupy the same place, at the same time (Pauli Principle).  There will be an eternal fight between polarized objects to occupy the same space of rest.  Gravity is not pull, it is push.

1:15  When push comes to shove, size matters.  One does not see short people being bouncers at the bar.  A fight between two equals can be interesting... the winner will, likely, be a matter of circumstance... shere luck.  In the Law of Large Numbers, if enough fights, or enough contestants go at it, it will ALWAYS come out about 50-50 in wins and losses.  Since Electrons come in both left and right spinning variety... they have no choice, then there will always be fights for rest and it will cause energy concentrations and depeletions over time and area.  The universe can never end and has always existed... it, simply, has a lot of ways of presenting itself dependent upon the SIZE of the observer.  Light does not exist to the beings who might live upon a Carbon Atom.  A second is a very long time to a being living upon a Carbon Atom.  The frequencies and Wave Lengths a being, living upon a Carbon Atom, might consider to be "light" would be in the Gamma Ray area.  Light is an illusion of size and definition.

1:16  Atom smashers tell us there has to be energies released in the Light Wave Bandwidth... light occurs... but light is reflection/reaction/resonation.  The air around us is full of thousands of wavelengths/frequencies of Electromagnetic radiation, most of it relatively harmless to us because of our physical size, not too big, not too small.  Atom smashers consider the Alpha radiation to be a result of the collisions but don't consider it in the construction of the Protons.  WHERE is the Alpha radiation coming from and why?  Is it not possible it is being CREATED in the the atom smasher... protons becoming Helium? And what is the Beta count?  Where are the Electrons coming from, in what quantity and why?  I've not worked at an Atom Smasher so I wonder about how the total Alpha and Beta count is being made... they are Leptons escaping the scene of the collisions.

1:17  The virtual particle we call the Photon has no mass and too small to generate even a single light wave, by itself.  A single RED WAVE will not fit into a single photon, inside an atom.  A Hydrogen Atom will have a Proton and an Electron... the mass of a Neutron.  There is an energy difference, however.  The Electron is NOT at rest as much as the Proton is... at the center of the Atom.  Rest occurs at the center of motion, relatively.  But, by definition, the Proton contains Photons.  The entire diameter of the Hydrogen Atom is but a few Picometers... far short of a single RED WAVE at about 666 Nanometers.  Photons are energy and not light.   That we use Photons to measure Light Energy is causing a lot of fallacy of ambiguity in the world.  The word Photon is causing a lot of issues in the world of physics because of the way too many people think of it.  If we are not looking, directly, at a light source such as the sun, then what we think is light is the reflected energies from the matter being struck by light wave energies... we are seeing the resonations of atoms in the material reflecting the energy, the Farraday Cages of the atoms are shaking.  Light waves are too long to fit between the molecules and atoms.

1:18  Light is EVERYWHERE present.  The proof of that is that one may place a light sensing device in open space, even in the shadow of a moon, and light waves will be detected... light energy frequencies, however low, will be detected in open space... at close to Absolute Zero.  Even in, apparent, pitch darkness we can detect the very long waves of infra-red light waves and 'see in the dark'.  Where there is energy, there will be light waves, however insignificant.  If there can be light waves in the dark, it would be prudent to assume there is a vehicle which is resonating to transmit them.  Electrons are not big enough but they can relay the information... i.e. it is not, physically, large enough to be a complete HEAT WAVE, but a stream of Electrons can become a HEAT WAVE.  Similarly, there can be 'particles' smaller than the Electron that, while too small to BE LIGHT WAVES can transmit them.  I would suggest that Gamma Rays are particles of Dark Matter, or its cousin.  Gamma Rays are the border line frequency of Dark Energy/Matter and/or very closely related, in my mind.

1:19  Electromagnetic Waves ALWAYS bend towards the denser medium... they are seeking rest and must disolve into ever smaller waves to join a theoretical ZERO WAVE of no motion, at all... no energy.  This conforms with the Laws of Thermodynamics.

1:20  Black Holes are NOT BLACK... they simply aren't radiating energy in the LIGHT WAVE spectrum.  Light has no mass and CAN'T BE EFFECTED BY GRAVITY by definition but, as waves may bend towards the denser medium then trapped by it... its wavelength adjusted to the new reality... longer (hotter).  Light may be emitted by a source in decay as energy, and reflected or absorbed dependent upon the physical size of things it stricks in its path.  Black holes seem to be cold and not emitting heat... 950nm waves.  If they are dense and large enough, the waves would be in the household Electrical wave length kind of waves.  We would need antennae a few miles long to detect them electronically and "see" them as objects.  We would have to see in wave lengths of 5-20,000 meters because the short wave lengths will be squeezed out at light speeds at the North Poles of the Black Holes.  Well... that's the way I think, but I have a structured universe in my reality.  Black Holes MUST grow and there MUST be a critical mass.  We don't observe Black Holes blowing up... in fact, they are a theory not proven.  There may be things that seem like Black Holes but, seriously, while an interesting idea, they aren't black and they do emit energy.  Also, Black Holes would indicate that the universe would begin and end... something not observed... it didn't come from nowwhere, and the idea of an infinite universe coming to an end is not logical and just plain silly.

1:21  Light and energy waves bend towards stars because the space area around the stars is much more dense than farther away.  Light bends towards the denser medium and will be ABSORBED AS ENERGY by things larger than itself that block the way.  The wave will be converted into other wave lengths... the longer wave lengths of matter.

1:22  The Universe seems to be receeding from us/accelerating away from us because we are on a path towards the center of our Galaxy, the Milky Way.  Wave Lengths associated with the Galaxy become ever shorter towards the center... i.e. our surrounding energy waves are becoming ever shorter and shorter.... waves that are many thousands of meters long or kilometers long.  Remember that 60 cycle household energy has waves 5,000 meters long.  The proof is that all energy seems to be receeding from us as we move towards the center of the Milky Way at about 500KMS.  The entire planet should resonate itself to death when we reach wave lengths, in our galaxy, that are the diameter of our planet... a really big one that should cause the planet to explode.

1:23  The farther a light source is away from us, the longer the path it must take.  The light waves will bend towards stars and galaxies, along its path to us.  The more bends, the greater the distance the energy waves must travel, the more BLUE waves will be lost... ergo, things farther away will have greater RED SHIFT.  It's all rather normal.

1:24  Black Holes are anything but black.  They simply are too large to emit short wave lengths in the visible light spectrum.  I expect they will contain large amounts of radioactive heavy materials radiating short range Alpha and Beta  particles... remember, they are OBJECTS that can be HERE and THERE at the SAME time.  Electrons and Helium... too small to emit visible light waves, and Uranium which emit no light waves at all.

1:25  All energy is trying to find rest.  There MUST be a BLACK HOLE or relative point of rest at the center of all Galaxies.

1:26  Black Holes are radiating energy at their poles... they have no choice because they MUST spin and energy is at all wave lengths, not just the light spectrum.  Black Holes are not black... they are glowing with short frequency energies.

1:27  The energy radiated from Black Holes must be of extremely short frequencies... crushed atoms and there is evidence to indicate that Black Holes do, indeed, emit energy from their poles.  It is highly likely it is re-captured at the edges of the Galaxy, becomes Hydrogen, and star formation occurs at the edges of galaxies... as energy tries to find rest by falling into the Galaxy's motion  (Gravity is motion trying to find rest... push not pull).

1:28  Einstein's Relativity (1916) is, clearly, from the illustrations based upon LINEAR/NEWTONIAN MOTION... VECTOR MOTION.  No allowance was considered for waves coming or going at 90 degrees to the direction of motion, at all... or any other angle than straight ahead.  That error will make Relativity non compatable with Quantum Mechanics forever.  It's always problematic when point zero just won't stit still.  By the time one has the answer, the planet has moved millions of miles farther on, in space.  Relativity has issues I don't wish to get into.  The only important thing to know about relativity is everything is relative in many ways... size, motion, etc.

1:28  Black Holes are not black.  That was not a good idea.   Light has no mass, the proof of which is stars radiating light.  The laws of physics say energy can not be created, nor destroyed, so the universe must have always existed and gravity under present rules will mean all Black Holes will reach a critical mass and explode... or they could remain stable as the centers of large space cyclones we call galaxies.  Big Bang is a ridiculous creationist idea with no logic of any kind.  Better to assume space is infinite like a large sea with no boundaries.  There will be denser areas and areas of greater motion, all fighting it out for rest they will never find, except temporarity at the center of a galaxy... and, even that, is relative.  The Speed of Light is all rather normal at the Electronic level of reality.  An Electron need only displace the one beside it to reach the Speed of Light.  One for the other... at the speed of light.  It's happening all around you all the time, all at once, forever.

The Speed of Light is relative to how large you are. Imagine you are one Attometer tall.  You might have to run a bit to be at the speed of light.  Imagine you are a Femtometer in size.  At that huge size, you need only take a step, or two, sideways, to be traveling at the Speed of Light.  You would think that was very fast but it would be almost no movemetn, at all, when viewed by a human.  Anything that is an object is always trying to catch up to the Speed of Light and can't.  It may only spin faster and faster and faster and stand on the spot... be a standing wave of light speed energies... matter.  In theory, the faster you travel, the larger you are... you are HERE and THERE faster when viewed with LIGHT SPEED ENERGY.  Got that?

You aren't really larger, but you occupy more space in less time than the observer is doing.  It will sink in the more you think about it.  Imagine living on the surface of a Carbon Atom and, once you adjust for your size and time, Earth reality will start to seem all rather different to you.  The universe is a Light Speed universe... everything else is trying to catch up, all at once, all of the time.  It can't... rest is possible only in relative ways... spinning on the spot, perhaps sharing the space with an equal of opposite spin to balance out the pressures of flying through space.  Your body is trying to do that but the floor is in the way.  Good thing, huh?  Your feet are always pointing at the center of the Earth when you are standing still on the ground.  That is our closest point of rest in space.  If you are in orbit, you are moving very fast and will have to slow down to land or make a very big splat.  If you were an ant, you might be able to float down if you had light weight oxygen gear and anti-radiation suit.  I digress.

1:29  Shapes are important for a number of reasons.  Firstly, there are mathematical limitation to certain shapes.  Simple is good... basic things.  For instance, the Gyrobifastigium is an extraordinarily interesting shape... a dual of a single shape, the second of which is at 90 degrees and 180 degrees to the first.  Shapes like the Tetrahedron may be for obvious but it has a great cousin, the Octohedron. and both have duals which, like the Gyrobifastigium's square pup tents sharing a base, these are 'objects' which might easily share a point of rest, at their bases, where the only motion of consequence is spin, for each, while both have their feet planted at relative rest.  An Atomic Clock at the center of Earth will provide our best calculation of the NOW on Earth.  Clocks, at the poles, will have variances from those at the equator.  Nothing sits still.  Your feet are always pointed at the center of the Earth.  Your 'rest' is all an illusion.

GyroBiFastigium (a Johnson Solid) The pointy thing on the upper right can just as well be placed at the far left upon the far left square.  It would look like a neat rocket ship then.  

1:30  The Icoshedron makes a most excellent antenna shape.  The shape consists of 20 Tetrahedral cone-like shapes which may have specific lengths, very easy to tune to a particular frequency.  An Icosahedron is like 20 Tetrahedrons sharing a common point of spin and rest all at once, all of the time, together.  20 shapes sharing a singularity, a kind of stealth vehicle.  It is, also, a very buoyant shape, resistant to blows of any size.  It can float or blow with the breeze and cares not.  Icosahedrons take up time/space... just like Electrons do.  Both are extremely, seemingly, indestructable.

1:31  Space is not empty and contains shapes of various kinds of different size objects that differ from the space in between them.

1:32  Space is infinite.  A limited universe is illogical, requiring yet more explanations, and doesn't conform with what we observe.  Big Bang predicted the universe would obey the Laws of Thermodynamics, slow down and dome to an end, yet the EVIDENCE indicated acceleration of expansion of what we detect is speeding up, not slowing down.

1:33  Our Galaxy is moving in space and we appear to be moving towares the center of the Milky Way.  It is not unreasonable to assume that new stars are forming at the points of higest velocity... the edges of the Galaxy which are moving much, much, much, much faster than stars and planets closer to the center of our Galaxy.  It is not unreasonable to assume all stars are crushed out of existence at the center of a galaxy where densities and energies are very high.  A galaxy is a rather dense kind of nebula with spin.  We fly through space with our South Pole forward.  Planets, like Saturn do also, which explains the shock wave rings... the same thing you see when a jet fighter breaks the sound barrier.  The rings are just particulate caught in equilibrium between the poles as Saturn flies through space, south pole forward.

F18 breaking the sound barrier, leaving a moving, standing, wave of sound behind.

1:33  Space is like an ocean with objects suspended in it.  The objects tend to cluster, like dust bunnies in a corner, at the points of least disturbance, the points of maximum rest and least motion.  All motion inside the bus of a galaxy has the inertia of the galaxy which is in motion.  Like passengers on a plane or bus, the matter within the galaxy has the inertia of the vehicle containing them.  Our gravity is dependent, not only upon the size of our planet/galaxy, but upon the density and motion of the planet.  Gravity may vary wildly within different galaxies dependent upon their velocity of motion through space and the density of matter within the galaxy.  Galaxies are nothing more than big spinning disks moving through space.

Gravity is motion... objects trying to find rest.  No matter the size, density, or mass of anything, if one does not regard air resistance, all objects fall at the same rate... 32ft/sec/sec.

Size doesn't matter when it comes to falling. Both objects are subject to an identical force. Mass has nothing to do with it.  Size has nothing to do with it.   An elephant and a mouse will fall at the same rate.  Gravity is push, not pull. Relative rest is the goal... less motion/more inertia.

1:34  The Pauli Principle is extremely important in explaining motion.  No two objects may occupy the same place at the same time... no two objects may share rest except by acting TOGETHER to share rest... eg, a Hydrogen Molecule.   A left and right spinning atoms rest back to each and share spin direction as a single unit.  Their attachment is rather weak but it's like two Otters holding hands drifing down the stream, together.

1:35  While more dense bodies will have the ability to spin faster, gravity is motion and will be dependent upon the surface size of the gravitational object because the surface will move faster or at a similar velocity as would a smaller, more dense object.  Gravity on a balloon is not great... gravity is push, not pull, the universe is pressing down on everything, all at once, all of the time.  Space is not empty, never was and never will be.  Space is infinite and not empty, anywhere.

1:36  If, by definition, we know the number of Electrons in a unit of energy, such as the Ampere/Coulomb, then we should be able to count the number of Electrons past the gate per second, or nano second.  Time is arbitrary and we use seconds and relative to the observer.  So, in a zero wave direct current line of Electrons we have a good idea how many Electrons there are and how many go past the gate versus time, then we can measure the diameter of those Electrons, both theoretically, and with good engineering, mechanically.

1:36:2  If the speed of light is set by the physical size of an Electron, then the distance versus the number of known Electrons will give us the size of the individual Electrons... i.e. One Ampere divided by the distance between two times.  One may chose a second, or nano second, the answer will be the same as regards the size of the Electron if the diameter, or circumferance, of the Electron sets the Speed of Light.

Fractal Reality is the only reality that may tile infinite space, all at once, all of the time.

The frequency of Earth is one cycle per year. Video::  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPjohZCMwmI or search YouTube for:  "David Silvercloud, Fixing Einstein" The Wave Length of Earth is about 7 billion Kilometers.  We ride a Gravity Wave about 7 billion Kilometers long.  The Wave Length of our Galaxy, the Milky Way, is its diameter.  It rides a Gravity Wave that is light years long.  There is no Zero Wave unless reality comes to a complete stop, everywhere, all at once, all of the time.  What is time?  Time is frequency awareness.

FALSE EQUIVALENCY AND FALLACY OF AMBIGUITY

The Problem with Photons This is where I attempt to explain my view and issues with word/term "Photon" and other issues.

2:01 The STANDARD MODEL ATOM is made from parts, one of which is a PHOTON.  Here's the thing.  The Photon is a VIRTUAL PARTICLE, not a physical one.  A photon is a UNIT OF ENERGY, NOT A PHYSICAL OBJECT.  A Photon is a Quantum of Energy with PARTICULAR FREQUENCY AND WAVE LENGTH CHARACTERISTICS associated with an Electron.  If Photons and Gluons hold Quarks together, then it might be prudent to assume that it is Electrons holding the Quarks together.  I assume Electrons have the shape of an Icosahedron which, in my view of reality, it a kind of ball bearing joint piece of all matter.  Kind of a transverse all motion axle power distribution point in the drive system, as it were.  Electrons, with so many pole choices, don't much care... they adapt at the Speed of Light... themselves.  Electrons are and set the speed of light at the bottom end of the material world size scale.  Size matters.  Size is exponentially relative.

2:01:2  There is not a lot of difference between a Photon and a 60 cycle 110V electrical circuit except the vast difference of scale and that the PARTS of the Electrical WAVE are Electrons, while we don't know what the PARTS of the Photon are while still in the atom... I assume they are made of Dark Matter and Photons are DARK ENERGY being played out in the material realms.  Dark Matter and Dark Energy are NOT dark... just of a size and frequency we can't see in our Electonic bodies.  Dragon Flies see much differently than us, as do many insects and reptiles.

2:01:3  In my opinion, the word 'Photon' causes huge fallacy of ambiguity and false equivalency issues for many, many, many people and they have no idea, at all, they are the victim of too little information.  I don't much like the term "photon" nor "gluon" its cousin in crime.  It should, however, clue us in the the idea that quarks are held together with Electrons that give off a Photon/Quantum of Energy when kicked out of the comfort of rest in their particular Proton, or Neutron.

2:01:4  Interesting that photons are measured one for each with devices that count Electron output.  One one Photon in, one Electron out... all the Electrons, in the Universe, lined up in a row and moving one Quantum's worth of distance, inversely squared from the relative source/time.  Size is everything and it doesn't take much to move an Electron... one Quantum, one Photon, one Gluon... take your pick.

2:01:02  We assume too much about ourselves and make too many assumptions not based upon facts.  We never see light, but we detect the resonations of matter vibrating with the energy striking it.  Somehow, our brains interpret that as light/dark and colours.  Metals are often silver or black because the light is sucked right in or the faces of the atoms reflect most light.  You have to heat the metals to get them to resonate at Heat Wave wavelengths and frequencies... the one micron range.  We could use radio frequencies, like light, to have voltaic cells but we just haven't found a mix of things to make that work and would likely be very inefficient as the shorter waves don't pack enough energy to make the effort worthwhile.  Longest is strongest and the bandwidth of light is a very large energy vehicle.  Heat, its country cousin, is even more powerful.  The bandwidth of light is just about perfect to resonate most atoms and molecules.  Get them shaking and they will emit/exchange the energy for light and heat.

2:02 A Photon is a unit of measurement... like an inch, or foot, or calorie, or BTU or pound or mile or Kilometer.  It is a unit of measurement. There is no more idiotic nor silly idea than turning it into a particle, virtual or not.  I really think the concept of a Photon as a particle causes a ton of confusion.

2:03  Here, have a cup full of Photons.  Ad a quart of Photons to the pie mix.  Get over it... Photons are a very, very,  very bad idea if you don't recognize them as UNITS OF MEASUREMENT.  A Photon is ONE QUANTUM of energy, and not just ANY energy but a very, very, very specific amount and type of energy... it MUST have a frequency and wavelenght that fits into the light spectrum.  You can't have a photon of radio frequency, or Xray frequency.  It MUST fall into the light wave bandwidth.

2:04  Photons CAN'T spread over an area... they don't thin out over space/time.  A molecular cluster of Photons can't go far and can't cover enough area to cover a foot side by each.  It's absolutely, completely impossible unnless they SHATTER or DISOLVE into much, much, much small units.  Heat waves, just on the edge of light waves, don't ever get to be photons.  Radio Waves... identical to light waves except in frequency and wavelength, NEVER get to be Photons.  Photons are a ridiculous idea unless you understand it is a measurement and not a thing... not an object, something totally massless, like inches and feet.

2:05  Think about this... you live on the surface of a Carbon Atom.  Your atom has a circumferance of around about 300 picometers.  You are a few Exameters tall.  A second is a year to you.  Light waves are falling down all around you... but you will have NO AWARENESS of them.  Your world is TOO SMALL to resonate with them.  Your body is too small to SEE them.  You might get blown away like a hurricane in their presence.  Photons are energy on the move... but energy is motion, isn't it?

2:06  All things are trying to find rest, but can't.  So long as those pesky Electrons exist, motion will continue as the Electron chases its tail.  Electrons are magnets, and permanent ones, at that, it would seem.  Electrons are ALWAYS chasing their tails unless they find a comfortable home with an atom.  Electrons are like ball bearings and plug stops.  Neutrons have a plug stop Electron.  If they lose it... hard to do, the Neutron becomes a Proton.  Electrons, if they break down, will break down into Quanta units we will think of as Gamma Rays.  There is a strong possibility that Gamma Rays are Electron dust.

2:07  Electrons will move to maintain EQUILIBRIUM... their inertia in balance with their surroundings.  When an Electron moves it is because of a Quantum of Energy being exchanged.  A photon is exchanged.  While Photons have no mass I will imagine it to be an Electron size balloon full of energy... one Quantum.  Electrons can't always move in a straight line conductor... the fastest route/why the Speed of Light may vary.  Space is like a vat of marbles, not side by each in nice neat rows but scattered, even if they are the same size, at apparent random spots.  This causes energy to be radiated and dissipated the denser the medium.  Space, away from suns/stars etc. is pretty empty of matter size stuff.

2:07:2  Now here's the thing.  You don't much see lightning in space do you?  Maybe in plasma?  That's the thing.  To see light one will need matter that is large enough to resonate with the energy waves created by the Quanta/Photons.  The Quanta/Photons are nowhere near large enough to make a visible single light wave but, together, they may transmit those waves, like spectators in a stadium doing "a wave", standing up and sitting down, one at a time, side by each to complete the wave.

2:07:03  You see lightning, on Earth, because of Electron exchanges in air which gets heated, which is very hot gass which resonated the molecules around them to produce light.  The Photons are not light.  The Quanta are not light.  They are the fuel for the fire, but not the flames.  We really need to get used to the idea that we are already seeing and using and partaking of Dark Matter/Dark Energy, every single day and it is Quanta/Photons in nature.

SIZE MATTERS

3:01  Sitting on your Carbon Atom home, you don't know heat, even if you are sitting in a 3,000Kelvin bath of molten carbon.  You don't know what heat is because you aren't big engough to resonate with the waves.  Your body has expanded and you have become a gas.  You are a Hoberman Sphere kind of object.  As Carbon, you have many solid shapes with vertices, edges, and surfaces but, as a gas, you inflate as large as you can to try to ride out those tsunami like heat waves.

3:02  What happens is you expand, as best you can to deal with the violent motions... the Earthquake of Heat.  Heat is motion to you... Earthquake size waves, carbon destructive waves.  You have never know light and never will.  If you have light, it is in the Exameter wavelengths caused by Dark Matter.  Dark Matter is NOT DARK, it just isn't big enough to resonate light frequencies.  Think Gamma Ray kind of light.

3:03  How many kinds of Photons are there?  Red ones?  Green ones?  Blue ones?  White ones?  Pink ones?  How many photons in a stream of blue light?  How do Photons spread with distance to cover the entire wavefront?  Photons don't keep their Quantum State very long, do they?  Photons are not particles, they are units of measure.  Two inches can't leave a source and become 12 inches, or 20 inches.  Stop thinking of Photons as particles.

3:04  A single Photon with a full light spectrum is about 10,000 times the size of a Proton.  How, exactly, a Photon fits into a Proton I don't grasp, at all.  But breaking down a Proton will create bursts of energy that can resonate detector plates in the One Micron range and be detected.  Strangely, Atom Smashers have no ability to detect Helium.  One might think if one was smashing Protons at hight speed, they might form Helium atoms.  I do.  Until Helium detectors are fitted into Atom Smashers I guess we'll never know.

3:06  The Photon is too large to fit into the Protons which are supposed to contain it.  A full wave Photon has a size/wavelength of 800 nanometers... about 106 times larger than ANY proton.  A single colour Photon can be at least 100 nanometers in length... still an Elephant beside a mouse.  That is a problem, for me, and I don't accept Photons as particles.  Colour and light exist only inside your brain and that information could NEVER reach your brain except through sensors large enough to receive the information... the rods and cones of your eyes and nerve cells LARGER than one micron.  Eye nerve cells are about one micron.  Body cells can be as large as 3 microns... more than ample to receive the 950 nanometer heat waves.

ELECTRONS Might is Right.  Overwhelming force rules.

Electrons may pass energy in TWO ways... by rotation/vibration, or by physical exchange between elements... A/C or D/C.

4:01  Electron exchange... the movement of Electrons into and out of their stable shell/orbit/level will cause light waves to be generated.  The loss of an Electron or change in energy state causes an atom-quake... the atom shakes violently, disturbing the energy fields around it.  Electrons may  be used to bombard certain Elements to produce Gamma Rays... rays that appear to have wave lengths shorter than the diameter of an Electron.  The only explanation, for that, might be that Dark Matter and Energy is being generated/manipulated.  An Electron would have to topple faster than it was spinning as the only other explanation.

4:02  Electrons are easily controlled with magnets.  They have to be magnets.  I believe it is generally accepted that  all Electrons are magnetic in nature with two poles AND there are TWO kinds of Electrons... left and right spin.  Remember... spinning spheres are gyroscopes which may wobble, swing and topple... transmit energy from HERE to THERE over time.

4:03  Electrons are, conveniently, already the measure against which other measurements are made in the world of Quantum Mechanics/Physics.

4:04  Electrons may easily move between Elements when enough electrical pressure is applied.  There are so many Electrons around that we call them Free Electrons.  They are everywhere present and always moving around from place to place.

4:05  Electrons transmit and hold energy through excess spin or physical motion.  Electrons may spin or PHYSICALLY MOVE THROUGH SPACE AND OTHER ELEMENTS.  The question here is how do they transmit energy.  Electrons are magnets.  If they flip from pole to pole... 90 degrees to their spin axis, they will generate energy around them just as any permanent magnet will do.  If they are hit with excess energy, they need only flip poles to pass that energy on less the resistance they offered.  Electrons resist the flow of energy with their mass but it is almost non existent... the little guys are very, very, very small.  Size matters.  An insect may leap may times the height of its body and not be harmed.  Size matters.  It takes extremely little energy to move a piece of dust.

4:06  We already know that Electromagnetic Waves transmit through a vacuum and space.  THe mechanisim has not been worked out but I will suggest it here.  Space is NOT empty.  You don't have to agree with that but it is perfectly clear the energy transmits through space and empty space offers no reason why.  On the other hand, if we accept DARK MATTER and DARK ENERGY as being nothing more than things too small to measure, or see, with Electrons, then we can assume Dark Matter, as particles, offeres little resistance to Electrons.  We must also assume that space matter/Dark Matter/Dark Energy has magnetic properties... because it transmits electonic/Electron driven energies.

4:07  I have already said the Electron transmits energies through spin, topple and motion.  Let's examine that...

Whether, or not, Electrons are side by each, or separated, the energy is transmitted by way of Electrons and, because their spin and topple sets the frequency of energy, the stuff in between, whatever you may think it to be... I believe in Dark Matter will, likewise, transmit those frequencies in proportion to the Electrons size... Electron motion will generate the waves.

HOW FAR IS FAR? HOW BIG IS BIG AND HOW SMALL IS SMALL? RELATIVITY OF SIZE

Shape is key to characteristics and resonance of size... what colours will be reflected by Electromagnetic Waves.

I like to view atoms and molecules as having distinct shapes.  Atoms can be gasses or solids and that will vary with their physical motion and shape.  Shape will depend upon inertial physical energies... heat, as it were.  Gasses need more space than solids... they have their physical energy spread out over more space, in less time, than solids. There may be more space between the particles but they are moving much, much faster... being HERE and THERE in LESS TIME... a higher frequency, as it were, creating physical waves and electronic waves, at the same time, part of reality's dual nature.  Electrons will be at vertices as ball-bearings.  Shape will determine state.  Electrons are in a permanent solid state, as they set the Speed of Light.  If an Electron comes apart, I would expect a nuclear explosion and a ton of Gamma Ray Particles as the Gamma unfold themselves.

The Human Eye, and all eyes, have nerves which are of a size appropriate to resonate with the wave lengths of Electromagnetic Radiation hitting them.  Those wave are Tsunami Waves to the nerve, Earthquake type waves that will shake the nerve vigorously.

5:01  Can we do an experiment to count the number of Electrons in a fixed distance?  We know the speed of light, more or less, exactly.  This experiment is entirely dependent upon the accuracy of the information we know.  What do we know?

(1)  By definition an Ampere is One Coulomb of Electrons. (2)  A Coulomb is, by definition, 6.25 X 1018 Charge Units. (different sources quote different values from 6.24-6.28) 625,000,000,000,000,000,000 Electrons, to be precise. (3)  The Speed of Light is, approximately, 29.9cm/NanoSecond.

5:02  We may use that information to estimate the size of Electrons.  Protons don't move in a circuit, so thinking of Protons as charge carriers is redundant here.

5:03  Knowing the number of Electrons necessary to make a single line of Electrons (we measure the flow... it's a straight line thing) past a point vs time.  If we divide the distance by the number of Electrons we derive the diameter of a single Electron.

5:04  The Law of Large Numbers dictates that we should use the longest distance possible between measuring points... for the best accuracy.  We know that an Ampere is based upon a unit of time... the second.  How many Electrons will pass a singularity in one second?  By definition we use Amperes/Coulombs or similar measuring units.  In one second we may assume that 6.25 X 10 18 Electrons fit in the line from end to end.

5:05  Whether, or not, Electrons are lined up, side by each, or separated by space, no energy may pass them until they are spun, toppled, or moved physically.  Even if the space between is empty, the volume/distance between them seems to have the same resistance to Electonic Energy as do the Electons themselves.  So... we could assume that the Electron is the measure of the Electron UNIT and RESISTANCE OF SPACE no matter how it arrives at our sensors... Electronic and our Eyes and Brain.

5:06  Conclusion:  There is a rather startling reality to all of this.  It may take you a while to wrap your mind around it.  If the Electron sets the speed of light by being "here and there" at "the same time"... it IS the measure.  So... anything LARGER/BIGGER than an Electon is occupying more space/time "at the same time" as an Electron and is thus, at least figuatively, already moving at the Speed of Light.  A single Electron would take some time to travel from one end of the body to the other and it could NOT be everywhere present, in the body, all at once, at the SAME time.  In order to do that it would have to move much faster than the speed of light.

5:07  One might say that anything that occupies space is a standing wave moving at 4/3 Pi times the speed of light cubed for any given amoung of time where the radius of the sphere, so described, has the time frame defined by the radius of the sphere... the speed of light for any given length of time.  For a sphere to occupy space at the same time/instant, where EVERY part of the sphere was PRESENT, at the same moment of time, time with time referenced to the speed of light, then to exist for one second, it would have a radius of one second of light speed.  You, simply, use the formula for the volume of a sphere where the radius is the speed of light/time.  Thus, all matter, is standing waves of light speed energy when viewed from a platform moving slower than light speed... your Quantum Field, as it were.

5:08  The mass of a Proton and Neutron is about 1836 times that of an Electron.  Electrons and Protons seem to be extremely stable but Protons may be broken down into Quarks etc. while Neutrons decay into an Electron and  Proton.  To our knowledge, Electrons do not break down into anything but we must assume they have structure and parts because they occupy space.  I will suggest those parts are Dark Matter and likely bits of what produce Gamma Rays... the Gamma.  Electrons and protons are attracted to each other and the ratio will be 1836/distance squared between them.   Electons are not attracted to Neutrons and we seem to know why... Neutrons can spit out an Electron which must be the key to making them neutral, in the first place, to Electrons.  Neutrons are missing the spin energy of ONE ELECTRON.  There MUST be two kinds of NEUTRONS because Electrons can have LEFT or RIGHT spin... i.e. there are two kinds of Electrons.

5:09  If you touch something and it is three feet from your finger to your brain, it will take approximately 3 Nano Seconds for the message to reach your brain, at light speed.  Your brain, by the way, processes information at about 10 frames per second... that is why animation is at least 12 frames per second.  Film is 24 frames per second and video is 30 frames per second to ensure smoothness of image flow.

5:10  A wave can be Femtometers in lenth, or Kilometers in length.  If both begin their journey at the SAME TIME then the WAVE FRONTS should arrive at the same place at the same time... except the short wave lengths will have deteriorated greatly over distance and may not even make it.  Remember... longest is strongest when it comes to waves.  Remember, a bunch of small waves striking your legs on the seashore is much different than a 10 foot high wave tghat is five miles long.  You might end up dead.

5:11  A wave of one Femtometer will be thousands of times smaller than a wave of one kilometer and you will be able to pack thousands of the Femtometer waves into the SAME distance.  Einstein never got around to noticing that... nor doppler effect.  He did not account for ANY waves that were not traveling in the SAME direction as the observer... no math for that.  Nor did Einstein account for the fact that no object can ever move back to where it came from, in space.  What is EXTREMELY important here is that waves represent TIME.  A single short wave can have a life span of pico seconds while an Electrical House Current requires more time to exist.  The longest wave in the Universe is INFINITE... the ZERO WAVE.  It does not exist, except as a concept.  If all motion stopped, there would be no waves, of any kind.  Space is cold for no other reason than short waves are in very short supply there and there is no Electronic 'stuff' to hold the "HEAT WAVES"... something to RESONATE with the energy of 950 nano meter waves.

5:12  The Milky Way is on the move and taking us with it.  We are constantly on the move towards the center of the Milky Way so all objects will ALWAYS seem to be receeding from us and only objects ahead of us, or catching up to us (like the POLE STAR) will ever show a blue shift.  The only stars which can show a blue shift must be in front of us and closing distance to us... all others MUST have a RED SHIFT.  Relativity is all about moving forward and never backwards.  Earth travels in a long wave seven billion kilometers long and never makes a circle, in space.

CONCLUSIONS

7:01  When asking a question such as "What Causes the Speed of Light" one will, of necessity, require some basic knowledge of fundamental science and principles.  One must ask questions such as "how big is big and how small is small?"

7:02  We live in a very large universe but we recognize it is made of some very small parts.  General Relativiy and Special Relativity seem to lose all meaning at sizes smaller than one Micron.  That world is inside the box with Shroedinger's Cat.  We need to look inside that box.

7:03  When Einstein wrote his Relativity, in 1916, he didn't much pay attention to waves.  Waves would not come into serious study until a few years hence when they went inside a mysterious box with a cat.  When Einstein was considering Relativity, Tesla didn't realize he had invented radio and wi-fi, Marconi cottoned on to the radio potential, but nobody was thinking of waves with any serious intent.  We know a lot more about waves,  now, and Quantum Physics works well with them.  Fortunately, we won't need Quantum Mechanics for this theory.

7.04  Einstein had some serious things to say about the consequences of moving at Light Speed and still had not considered waves in his original theory... the red/blue shift.  Not a word.  He would compensate for inertial with Lorenz Transformations.  I want to speak of time.

7:08  Another issue I have with Einstein's approach to Relativity is that all of his formulae were based, as I see it, upon straight line velocities.  That is to say, the math that he generated... the formulae for solving, were all based upon a moving body moving in the SAME or exact OPPOSITE direction as the light waves.  It should be noted that waves were not considered by Einstein in the original text, nor was it realized, at the time, that light was just a very, very, very, very small part of a continuous spectrum of wave lengths.

The LAW OF LARGE NUMBERS LARGE NUMBERS AND PHYSICAL SIZE

8:01  Ampere or amp (symbol: A) is the unit of electrical current. The Ampere unit is named after Andre-Marie Ampere, from France. One Ampere is defined as the current that flows with electric charge of one Coulomb per second.

8:02  An ampere is the current flow of one coulomb per second. One electron carries a charge of -1.6 X 10 19 coulombs, so one coulomb has 6.25 X 10 18electrons. So one ampere is 6.25*10^18 electrons per second

8:03  Here's the thing.  If you were living upon a Carbon Atom, the concept of light would be non existent.  You would be too small to experience light.  You would need to be, say, at least one Micron in size so you could resonate with the wave lengths associated with light and you would, also, be able to feel heat... being able to resonate with a heat wave.

8:04  Now, let's get back to size and time.  It would be helpful to think of waves as single events... a single wave, for my purpose here.  A 60 cycle Electrical current has waves that are 5,000 Kilometers long.  Longest is strongest in the world of waves, so you can see that a 60 Cycle Electrical wave is quite the tsunami of a wave and why it is so powerful... can power motors and transmit a lot of energy per second.  In theory, since all bodies fly through space with their South Poles forward towards the center of their galaxies, one could use the body, flying through space, as a very large scale transformer.  Wrap the body... such as Earth, pole to pole a few times... the entire planet, as it were.  That is the Primary of the transformer.  Then secondary loops are placed at different points to draw the very long wave energies being captured in the conductor around the Earth/Space Body to bring it down to a useable Electrical Wave Length... 60 cycles is good.

8:05  We tend to think of high frequencies as being associated with high energy and they are... but as single waves it's like comparing dynamite to C4 explosive.  Both are very powerful but the C4 is high impact and extremely short waves while dynamite is lifting impact and long shock waves.  Small waves can be very useful if they don't have to go far... think wi-fi and smart cards.

8:06  Now, because I go on and on like a dripping tap... let's get back to size and time.  A second is a very long time to you who are living on a Carbon Atom.  A second is just some arbitrary time unit that evolved from our 24 hour clock system.  It has no meaning except what we have given to it.  It's just too long a time unit for our purposes here.  We live on a Carbon Atom.

8:07  Time, and size, are related in relative ways.  Units of measure require a ruler... a standard.  We have standards for what, exactly, a Meter is, or a Foot, or a Pound.  You get the idea.  Now, whatever the unit may be, there is a standard and I propose that the Electron is the standard by which is set the Speed of Light.  Nothing may reach your brain except by way of Electrons.

8:08  We measure just about everything with Electrons... that's a fortunate coincidence.  Quantum Physics uses the measures of the Electron as the standard unit, already.  That's so very fortunate.  We can't be quite sure, exactly, what the physical size of an Electron is because they don't sit still and we use Electrons to measure Electrons.  The thing is, they are NOT singularities and OCCUPY SPACE/TIME.  While they are involved in all electonic waves, the physical Electron IS NOT a wave but the measure by which all Electronic waves are constructed.  Electrons are solid bodies of matter... actual matter that sets the Speed of Light by their very existence and electronic characteristics in our Electronic Reality.  Ironically, reality is a kind of binary matrix the bits, of which, are Electrons and their sub parts... Dark Matter/Energy... also magnets too small to detect with Electrons except their effects... such as magnetism.  Theoretically speaking, there is no smallest part but the very smallest parts don't have mass because they lack Electrons and have masses MUCH less than that of the Electron, itself... which, ironically, has very little energy... about one Quantum, at the best of times, to get it to budge.  One needs a quantum of energy to get an Electron to react... an extremely small amount of energy to us who occupy so much more space AT THE SAME TIME.

GRAVITY THE PROBLEM WITH GRAVITY

The present concepts of gravity are in conflict with the Laws of Thermodynamics... things fall apart, they don't get together.  Attraction between matter is an optical illusion.  Gravity is push, not pull.

If a particle sets the speed of light, it is an object occupying space.  If that particle is magnetic and has the ability to choose what pole sits where, it is an active component of reality.  If one Electron,at one end of a conductor, pulls out, another will enter at the other end of the conductor.   Similarily, the opposite is true.  If an Electron is PUSHED into the conductor and they start piling up at the other end, they will start 'lumping', but have difficulty because of the poles.  If they start moving FASTER than they can get out, the "lumping" will definitely occur and the group will take on spin, moving faster and faster and faster until they reach "light speed".  At that point no forward movement occurs, any more and the Electrons become a STANDING WAVE of ELECTRONS... the solid stuff gets very real and in your face.

THE CONCEPT OF FOLDING SPACE

Photographer's Flip... Wire Ring with reflecting cloth which may be folded for storage.

The Singularity (arrow) must now follow the SAME path in less space.

9:01  Space is not empty.  The sum of all space is the sum of all energy.  That energy is more intense from one place to another.  Nothing is ever at rest and nothing stays in the same place unless it can move in a circle as fast, or faster than things moving around it... a tornado is energy concentrated in a small space moving slower, forward, than all the energy around it.  A tornado is folding space and energy..  Space must be infinite as nothing else holds any logic of any kind.  The universe is not enclosed but varies in density from place to place with what we call matter.

9:02  Matter gathers in the places of most resistance and least motion, like dust bunnies in a corner.

9:03  Motion is energy being expressed in time/over time... just as energy is expressed over time such as Foot Pounds or Horse Power.  Energy may take other forms but it is still compressed motion/waves.  The more energy, the more motion.  If motion can't express itself over distance, then it must compress or fold space in time.  Waves are compressed energy over time.

9:04  Energy versus distance is a wave... the slower stuff getting out of the way of the moving stuff by stepping aside for a time as the energy passes.  The longest wave is no wave at all, yet that makes no sense as regards energy.  The longest wave is no wave or empty space or space with no localized energy... evenly distributed energy, everywhere, all at once, all of the time.  A given amount of energy may be expressed as a long wave or a number of short waves occupying the same space in time.  Wave motion is oppossed and compresses energy over time.  Matter is folded energy... folded space, space that is burning off fuel, so to speak, before it may land by weaving and circling in time.

9:05  To be HERE and THERE at the same time as things around you, you must move at 4/3 P r 3 where the radius of motion is distance versus time.  For instance, to remain a stable wave/object of 500 feet, for 0ne minute in the same place, one would have to move at 4/3 P r 3 where r was 500 feet and the time was one minute.  i.e. One is moving at 500 feet per minute but, to stay put and have energy, one would have to move at (4/3 P 500 3)/ one minute.  One would become a sphere of 500 feet and bouyant within the medium surrounding one.

9:06  Matter acts like dust bunnies in a storm and gathers in the places of most resistance to motion/place of rest by compressing forward motion and/or spinning on the spot.  Spin is a reaction to motion and resistance to motion.  Things move toward the greater density... change direction of motion, compress energy.  The idea is similar to Einstein's e=mc2 but Einstein considered, only, VECTOR motions in his original idea... the Raiway car and observer.  He did not consider any motions except forwards and only energy coming from directly behind or directly in front.  He ignored the 3rd dimension and ignored wave motion, entirely.  He realized that inertia was stored energy compressed into space but didn't consider its volume.   Hope you got that.  If you need only the direct force values, e=mc2  will cover it, but the real value is the volume of energy.

9:10  If you are having issues imagining folding space, think of a Photographer's Flip... a device for reflecting light which may be, easily, folded for storage.  It is a wave in a package, two turns where there once was one.

HYPOTHESIS

6:01  The particle we know as the Electron is the clock that sets the Speed of Light and why that speed becomes more difficult to exceed the larger the mass of any object.  The greater the mass of anything, the more Electrons must be displaced to move it and accelerate.  The energy required will be directly proportional to the number of Electrons per second displaced... how much energy that takes.  The more Electrons displaced, per second, the more energy it will require.  It does not matter if actual Electrons are displaced, as the space in between is full of something, or other, that will transmit, exactly, the volume and energy of the Electron.  If the Electron topples pole to pole, it is a magnet and will generate that energy into the space surrounding it... pass the energy on and not hold on to it.  Electrons are always moving at the speed of light if they move at all.

6:02  As a solid sphere, to be HERE and THERE at the SAME time, there must be a point source moving at 4/3 P r3 where r is the speed of light, thus... 4/3 P c3 for any given amount of time. 6:03  To exist, anything which we perceive to be 'solid' will be a point source moving so fast as to seem to be a standing wave to our perception of it at information arriving at the Speed of Light.  All information arrives to our brain at the Speed of Light by way of Electronic circuitry.

6:04  Nothing may reach your brain except by way of Electrons and they are the 'bits' of the Off/On information stream to our brains.  The very shortest 'bit'of information your brain may receive is ONE ELECTRON jumping one synapse.  That happens at light speed and information is exchanged.

6:05  When an Electron changes energy level/shell level and makes a 'quantum leap'it will release, or gain one Photon's worth of energy...  we detect them giving off light and will assume they regain it when falling back into a 'normal' state.

6:06  Stationary is a relativity concept.  We are moving through space at more than 500Kms.  All things are relative, as you will have to understand and accept.  We are flying through space on a long wave pattern, seven billion kilometer long waves per year, and moving ever closer to the center of our Galaxy, the Milky Way.  All things seem to be receeding from us.  Think of yourself as the navigator of a ship in a very fast moving sea called Space.

6:07  We regard the speed of light, in space, to be 299,792,458 ms.  For the purposes of this theory I will simplify the speed to 299,000 kms.  In order to bring the Speed of Light down to a more manageable number for thought purposes, and to make things easier to follow, we must think about things at a very tiny level with very, very small values.  If you adjust the Seed of Light to how far it moves in ONE NANO SECOND, then we get 29.9cm (299,000,000 divided by one billion after you convert it to Centimeters.

299,972,485X 1,000 meters X 1,000 millimeters =  299,000,000,000,000 mm DIVIDED by 1,000,000,000 = 299,297,485mm Divided by 1,000 (to convert the mm to cm) = 29.9 cm

WAVES VERSUS WAVE FRONTS

6:08  It is extremely important to remember that it is the WAVE FRONT that is moving that fast and NOT THE WAVE.  The wave may only move as fast as its parts and that may be only a few microns as part of the wave which may be kilometers long.  So, the question is, how small are the parts and how far do they have to move to move at the Speed of Light?  If you are very, very small, you don't have to move very far, at all... the wave front will still be moving at the Speed of Light.

6:09  Electromagnetic Energy is measured against time.  One Ampere of Electricity is the same amount as One Coulomb of Electons... i.e. 6.25 X 10 to the 18th power Electrons.  Interestingly, the value varies between many respected publications but is always between 6.24 and 6.28 so I will use 6.25 X 1018 Electrons.  Actually, the definition is charged bodies, so it could apply to Protons, as well.  Protons are not what we use to transmit energy so, what is important for here is the Electron. When that number flows by a stationary point in time, we define it as One Ampere of Electrons when the resistance to flow is One Ohm.  From this we derive Ohm's Law... E=IR or voltage time amperes over resistance in ohms.

6:10  If you do the math, you may readily calculate how many Electrons there should be between two points, if you know the voltage, resistance and distance.  What that should mean is that a conductor the length of the Speed of Light for One Second should hold a linear line of Electrons, side by each, and one should be able to ad up the diameters of the Electrons and it should equal the distance for the Speed of Light for One Second.  Got that?

6:11  If you divide the Speed of Light for One Second by the number of Electrons in a Coulomb, let's round up the Speed of Light to 300,000 Kms and divide by 6.25 X 1018 Electrons and it comes out to about 4 Femto Meters... a bit larger than we would like to see.  Less than 3 would be more in line with experiments.  BUT... if you consider that Electrons can push their way around or roll their way around, then 4 Femtometers would be close to the circumference we would like to see.  The whole point here is to get you to start seeing the Electrons and something in between that may be much smaller but Electromagnetic in nature and responding volume/mass per volume/mass of motion of the Electrons, thus transmitting the energy in a continuous fashion, whether one single wave of a wave stream.

Last Words

7:01  I'd like to mention Radioactivity.  I believe shapes are critical in the construction of all Atoms.  I believe it is, likely, linked to the shapes of the Johnson Solids... i.e. the non radioactive elements will try to take the shapes of the Johnson Solids depending upon the numbers of Faces and Vertices.  The Vertices are Electros.  There are not enough Johnson Solids to complete the number of Elements needed but one will notice they are about the same as the non radioative Elements.

7:02  What about the Radioactive Elements?  Imagine stable Elements that are large enough to have sqatters settle in... smaller elements which are outcasts... isotopes.  Somehow they managed to build a structure on top of another... but, if they lose some Electons, in the various energy shake ups, they may begin to fall apart, Beta and Alpha particle at a time until a physical split occurs.

7:03  There should be fewer and fewer radioactive elements as one nears the center of the galaxy because it is associated with shorter wave lengths which will be rather destructive to large objects... constantly hitting them.  They will generate new Hydrogen and Helium atoms which start their lives without Electrons.  Electons come and go... that's the way they are, always in their own balance which never changes.  They just roll with the punches.

8:03  The Gyrobifastigium is a particularly interesting shape I associate with Helium.  If you make two triangular shapes, with arms as triangular shape of equal width, form them into triangles made of triangular tubing such that the center holes are exactly the widths of the arms of the triangles, you will achieve a shape that has a Gyrobifastigium at its virtual center but will be a stellation... a kind of stellated Gyrobifastigium.

Stellated Gyrobifastigium paper model

9:01  While space may not be cheek to cheek Electrons, the stuff "in between" definitely, without any shadow of any kind of doubt, is tranmitting energies in the Electromagnetic frequencies/wavelengths.  The "in between" is full of reactive Electromagnetic energies and it matters, not a wit, what theory you wish to believe.  Now, the neat thing about this 'stuff' is this... it's a medium.  It isn't a very thick one, to we particle type beings, but it's there.

9:01:02  In theory, it should be possible to build a propulsion system using permanent magnets shaped like propeller blades.  The turning propellers will churn the stuff 'in between' just as surely as a propeller in water.  While the velocities will be low, acceleration will work over time and the propeller need not turn very quickly, at all... just turn.  Also, since there is 'stuff' there, it might be prudent to 'streamline' a spacecraft Electromagnetically for most efficient operations regarding maximum velocities to reduce Electromagnetic drag.  I'm thinking a 'stealth' exterior would be great.

Who is Terry David Silvercloud?

I was born in October, 1944, in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, where I grew up.  I was the firt of five children in a family that was not very well off, somewhat dysfunctional.  We moved a lot.  My father worked nights so he didn't seem to be home a lot.  We didn't get along well but, in my old age I realize I'm a lot like him.  He was semi-illiterate and could just barely read.  He grew up in the backwoods of Northern Ontario on a rual farm with no running water nor electricity.  He walked miles to a small schoolhouse.  He could fix just about anything and was a very curious person regarding how things worked.

I had a lot of personal issues a shrink could spend years upon.  I've seen two in my life.  They assured me I was not crazy, just a bit too emotional and very intelligent.  Not a good combination, it seems.  I had not been well prepared for life, at all.  Coming from a somewhat religious family, my reality was very distorted by my family's superstitions.  I was always the smartest kid in the class, while bored to tears and never doing any homework.

I had to bus to school for High School.  That meant eating at school.  My father gave me 25 cents which was enough to buy a hot meal of meat and potatoes kind of thing.  I always boughtt a pint of chocolate milk and two chocolate glazed doughnuts.  I ate a lot of Oatmeal so I think that is what save me from a ruined body.  I was six feet tall around age 13.

I always wondered how the sound got through the wires and learned how to make a one wire multiple party line... only one conductor, at about age 14-15.  That is when I really fell in love with Electrons.  It was very easy to follow a circuit board.  I destroyed a couple of the family table top radios to turn them into amplifiers (1958-60).  A big deal gift to myself was my first soldering gun.  Remember, we were poor.  I had a paper route.

I read a lot of dog books when in Grade 9 but we had a school library and they put out new books and, one day, there was a largish, glossy pages, illustrations in colour (this was about 1960... a big deal), about Electronics.  So, at lunch, I taught myself how Radio, Television and Radar worked.  I wanted to invent a flat screen TV as my life goal.  

It didn't work out.  I went straight out of High School into Naval Officer School.  I was an officer at age 19.  Things I did, of interest, were to navigate HMCS CAPE SCOTT across the Atlantic a few times, and to Puerto Rico.

My name, at that time, was Alexander Terence Blair.  My mom named me after Terry and the Pirates and used the spelling of Publius Terens.  I grew up as a 'Terry'.  I entered the Naval Reserve in the fall of 1960 and became an Able Seaman Signalman, CVX4, overqualified for my rank but I jumped a few, I'm a rather fast learner when I want to be.  My last summer of training and on the job training, in 1963, I got to be the lone signalman/communications person aboard a Gate Vessel  quite small training ship, based in Hamilton, at HMCS Patriot.  If you wanted to reach us, or send a message out, it was through me.  We had a bad storm, one day, and I spent much of it at the helm as most of the new reservists were busy vomitting.  The officers weren't doing much better.  At the start of the storm, the cook, an old sea salt came up to the communications shack, gave me a few slices of dry bread and told me to eat them, I was going to need them.  I felt better quite quickly and never had an issue with sea sickness, again.  I joined the Regular Forces in September, 1963.  My official number in the Royal Canadian Navy was O-6974.  My Officer Designator was 130.

I was qualified to command and drive ships and submarines.  Aboard HMCS Cape Scott, which I navigated (1966-67),  I was fourth in line of command in spite of many more senior officers being aboard.  They were technicians and not trained to command and drive a ship, a kind of sub-group of passengers, as it were.  We often carried a Dentist and a Helicopter Pilot.  The ship had a helicopter and a Dental Clinic.  I once had a tooth pulled out at sea.  We had an operating room, too.  I had my head stitched by an Able Seaman who wanted to become a medic.  The medic asked me if he would let him do it as the stitching would be covered by my hair.

I left the RCN as a Lieutenant in the Submarine Service.  I served, in England, aboard HMS Opportune for training and HMS Tiptoe as Spare Crew.  The Torpedo Officer was off training for the upcoming Olympics.  My jobs were Torpedo Officer, Deck Officer, Sonar Officer and Supply Officer... handling the cash we kept, on board, usually only letters of credit, but I once had about a half million in various European currencies to pay the guys a daily living allowance.  They don't sleep on the submarine in foreign ports if they don't want to.  They get a daily cash allowance to do with as they choose, including food.  I would dish it out in the appropriate currency, as needed.  In Canada I served aboard HMCS Ojibwa, an Oberon Class submarine.  I had issues with the Captain and left the Navy, early, when they found out I was going to leave, anyway.  I had been very happy in the Navy until I returned to Canada.  Things went downhill, very rapidly, after that.  British trained officers weren't welcome, it seemed.

On HMS Opportune I had the opportunity to participate in large scale NATO exercises.  As the submarine, we were the bad guys.  My most exiciting experience was that we located the main fleet in the middle of the Atlantic and carried out a pracice attack on them... no real bang bangs, just pretend.  But it was very dangerous stuff to do.

We had a very excellent Captain, Commander Baker.  You could wear whatever you wanted on a submarine.  Go naked if you dared... who cares, just be happy.  The Captain favoured brightly coloured golfing outfits.  He positioned us in front of the oncoming ships, we went to periscope depth for a visual and to enter data into the firing solution, dove to about 100 feet at full speed ahead (very, very dangerous) and could hear the destroyers passing overhead.

Once the destroyers were behind us, we poked up for a visual on the nearest Aircraft Carrier, entered the data into the firing solution, and pretended to fire everything we had at that carrier.  We then went to a very deep classified depth being as silent as we could and slipped away.  Oh, we fired a green smoke signal to the surface at the time we fired, to let the ships know we had just attacked them.

I went to Sonar School after that, then to Spare Crew where I was sent to HMS Tiptoe to be the Torpedo Officer.  That was a lot of fun, a great crew.  Mostly we did some show the flag trips to cities in Europe and some exercises with the SAS (commando types) where we would surface off the coast of England, a helicopter would suddenly appear and SAS types would come down on ropes, we would get them below as fast as possible, submerge, take them somewhere else, surface and they would take off in little rafts.  We would come back to pick them up, take them back somewhere else, helicopters would appear and they would vanish back into the sky.  I was the Deck Officer, so I got to be the Officer on deck helping those guys off the rope and directing them to the opening they headed for.  I also was the Boarding Officer so I got to shoot a Sterling.  It was a better version of a sten gun.

I noticed it had rifleling in the barrel... the Sten gun is all a hail of large bullets kind of machine... mow them down kind of gun.  The Sterling had a setting for single fire.  So I chose that and showed off my Marksman skills.  I'm a pretty good shot.  Another great experience I had, aboard HMS Tiptoe, was seeing the only mirages I've ever seen in my life.  We were about 75-100 miles at sea,late in the afternoon, when Rotterdam appeared suspended above the horizon.  Within ten minutes it had a mirror image above it, then three of them, then they all dissapeared.  It was quite large, a magnified kind of image.

I tell you this so you can check me out.  I did a lot of other things after I left the Navy but my life has, mostly, revolved around photography.  I'm a very good photographer and worked as a high end assistant... fashion, cars, boooze, furniture, editorial, magazine kind of stuff.  Got to photograph some famous people, dusted the lint off Rob Lowe's shoulders for a poster shoot for a movie.  Keannu Reeves keeps to himself on set to stay in character.  I assisted on a shot of him used on the cover of Peope and W magazines.  I got to do neat stuff and had my own darkroom and studio in which I lived.  I've lived in a lot of store fronts and warehouse spaces, most of my life.  I know my f stops and have been working with light since I took my first photo at age 7 with a box camera.  I taught myself some basic darkroom when I was around 14.  We had a darkroom in my high school.

I went into a kind of semi-retirement in 1997 and moved to Vancouver.  I had issues with my odd appearance (hair style) as they were very conservative in Vancouver.  I cut my hair and changed my name to the one I used in Photography... David Silvercloud.  I legally changed my name to the ones I, actually, used.  Terry David Silvercloud.   These days I go by 'David' or 'Butch'.  How I got to the name 'Butch' is another of my long stories for another day.

One day, in 2002, I asked myself what it would take to be HERE and THERE, at the SAME time.  That got me to read Einstein, notice what he seemed not to have noticed, and thinking about motion at the sub-atomic level of reality and to look at how it fits with the larger world around me.  I never did solve all the issues, in my head, but they would come back to nag me and I came to realize that the Electron was the problem child.  I hadn't really allowed, well, for it to exist.  And it has so many odd characteristics that all have to be accounted for.

I got it into my head it had to be tetrahedral but that has so many bad issues.  It HAD to be a shape.  One I resolved that it was nearly spheroidal, I chose the Icosahedron and haven't looked back.

Regards, from Butch, himself, Terry David Silvercloud. If you like what you see, please spread the word. You may reproduce this paper... please do and spread it around. 15 March, 2018.