#as always steve and friends being a year older creates difficulties

[heavencasteel420]

I’m definitely putting the cart before the horse, because I have three active multi-chapter WIPs, but I’m debating whether or not to put Nancy Wheeler Can’t Win (my vaguely Freaks and Geeks-inspired no-UD AU) and Life During Wartime (my Will-and-Jonathan no-UD AU) in the same universe and if so how to work out the timeline.

[reelybadfnafocs]

Here I go (oh boy, sorry for the terrible English, I’m actually Brazilian so this is hard) (i was about to be like holaaaaaaaa otro latino but then i remembred yall speak porch of geese fml. anyway hi. mod mangles on the case)

Name: Dolly the Dog

Species: Dog

Gender: Female

Job: The narrator of the shows/babysitter

Purpose: To help with the narration during the shows and to take care of the lost children in the establishment. Children are instructed to, if they ever lose sight of their parents, stay close to the stage and play with her; the parents are instructed to look there first. If the parents don’t come back to take their child, one of the employees has to discover where the child lives and take the poor kid home. If the kid is not comfortable with the employee, they can take their favorite animatronic to accompany them (this was only permitted after one incident, in which a girl made a scandal because she didn’t wanted to go with the day guard to her house). while i think the concept of a kid showing up to someone’s house with like a 6 ft furry robot is funny, i don’t see this really panning out in practice. as iffy as i am about it, i think the “babysitter/lost child center” thing can stay as is, but i think employees would defer to calling parents first (if the child is old enough to have memorized a phone number/have a phone), local authorities, or CPS.

Creator: Sarah Brown (another OC), the owner of the establishment and the creator of all the animatronics.

Location: The Showtime Funland, a restaurant for all the family (but specially for their children). It’s a vibrant, cheery and colorful place, where there are seven animatronics: Ollie the Owl, Billy the Bird, Fany the Fish, Charlie the Cat, Dolly the Dog, Happy and Lucky. Happy and Lucky are the only human-ish animatronics, and both of them are out of order during the game, and the others are the main actors of the stage, where they tell stories with musicals during the meals on the restaurant or just stay on the playground with the kids; the only one who can’t go to the playground during the day is Dolly, who’s programmed to stay and take care of the children waiting for their parents.

Where: On the stage; she sits on the front of the stage, on the right, and narrates the story that’s being performed.

Age: She’s the oldest animatronic: seven years of functioning. Her character is older than that, because of her old version, but since it was malfunctioning in a way which wasn’t even possible to take lightly, she was replaced by her new version. Her character is 14 years old. this is a little unclear to me…has she been in service for 14 years, or is the character supposed to be like a 14 year old child? i don’t think animatronics really need ages tbh but i dont see any issue with this either, so you can scrap this detail if you feel unsure about it.

Haunted/not: She is not haunted, but her program is malfunctioning; her AI is not recognizing the faces of the employees during the night for “unknown reasons”, and she attacks them as if they are “threats to the establishment”, in a way that she wasn’t programmed to do; she was supposed to call the police if any intruder came, but she becomes aggressive during the night because of someone meddling with her system.

During the game: The first thing the game shows is a cutscene, where the night guard is guided through the whole building by the day guard (called “Steve Hughes” by Annie, but it’s not known if this is the same day guard or not), and is introduced to the animatronics and told a bit of the story behind the establishment. It was created by Sarah Brown, a famous inventor, and was a well known establishment since its opening during the 80’s. During its history in business, there where countless robbers and stupid teenagers trying to get in and mess around with the things inside Funland, so the night guard was supposed to deal with these problems; but the animatronics, after a terrible incident in which the night guard was attacked by a robber, received a new AI capable of recognizing the faces of the employees and to give the night guard an alert if there was any intruder. The night guard is left alone to watch the cameras while listening to “Annie”’s recordings, since she was the last night guard, and discover about the malfunctioning of the AIs. In the third night, Annie quits, leaving the player with her guide about how to avoid the animatronics and with some recordings of how to flee if there’s something happening during the night (like a fire, for example) without getting caught. First, only Ollie and Fany are threats, but through night two and three Billy and Charlie too start to malfunction; in the end of night three, Dolly starts to do so as well. In the fifth night, Happy and Lucky also leave the deposit where they are hidden to attack the player. On the sixth bonus night, Annie left an odd recording of her and Sarah talking about the AIs of the animatronics, and Sarah implies that she knows of someone who would “do anything to make his business bigger than mine again, and wouldn’t hesitate to sabotage my creations”, as if she knows about the malfunctioning.

During the nights (3-5 (and bonus night)): She is the most predictable and organized of the animatronics, always making this specific path: first she leaves the stage, where she normally is, then goes through the playground (and stays there for a while), passes by the kitchen, through the deposit (where the audio doesn’t work, but the camera does), and then to the left corridor to the night guard’s office. She never changes her path, but as the game progresses she begins to become more and more fast and, since the other animatronics are more unpredictable, it’s harder to pay attention to her movements. Annie says, on her second recording, that she’s afraid of all the animatronics besides Dolly, since she is “the less threatening”; but, on her guide to escape on night four, she seems to have changed her mind (or it was a previous recording, before she labeled Dolly as “predictable and almost harmless”), it doesn’t chronologically make sense to have this be a previous recording, unless you intend to imply that annie went back and remade recordings for nights 1-3 right before she quit in addition to the night 4 guide. saying that “it would be best if you pay attention to her, since she’s fast and difficult to see without the flashlights”.

Skill: She tries to kill the player, first at the end of night three until night five (and the sixth bonus night). Dolly has a very advanced AI and is equipped with a recognition system, at least a hundred plays and stories on her memory, a voice system that helps her to change her voice when needed, the ability to sing, dance and interact with humans properly, and a system that can regulate her body heat. i was gonna say a hundred seems a bit much but idk how many stories the storyteller-esque animatronics are programmed to have tbh. if youre aiming to make the restaurant one of those cheaper places, id recommend scaling this number down.

Personality: During the day, Dolly is incredible cocky and arrogant when it comes to her role as the narrator, and she proclaims herself the “star of the show”, something her old version had but was even worse, coming to the extreme of pushing another animatronic off the stage and destroying it completely after getting annoyed by the poor robot. She’s kind with the children and the adults alike, but acts more politely with the elder and more sisterly with the younger audience; she says, during the game, that it’s horrible to never be able to go to the playground, but that she loves to take care of the lost children. During the night, she becomes a very aggressive but organized animatronic, something that her personality has during daytime as well; she is often annoyed by the others, since they sometimes go against the script for comic relief. Dolly is the most talkative of the animatronics during their attempts to kill the player, often bragging about her role as the narrator and star of the Showtime Funland and threatening to “end the show” of the night guard.

Appearance: A black and white dog (white on her mouth, chin, hands and belly), with big, glowing brown-yellowish eyes. Her ears are long and fall by the sides of her head, and she has paws instead of feet, but still has hands. She wears a magician hat with a blue bow on it, and sometimes during her show takes it off, just to reveal something inside of it that can help during the play (for example, a sword so that the protagonist can slay the dragon or a pie to the little protagonist give as a gift to a friend); she also wears a blue bowtie that matches her hat’s bow.

ok, final thoughts:

i was going to comment on how high-quality these animatronics seem to be, but given that you go out of your way to describe Sarah Brown as a very competent mechanic(? is that the right term idk), i think ill let it go. this seems like one of those higher end fancy-ish restaurants so most of this can slide, unlike if you were to make the location be some sort of cheap or dirty diner.

no notes on the story, i think it works well. the game seems to have kind of a steep difficulty spike towards the latter half with nights 3, 4, and 5, but thats not really an issue i think because you deal with more shit on fnaf 2 anyway. there were some iffy bits here and there, but nothing too bad that was worth pointing out or changing, so overall this is a solid character! good job :D

~mod mangle

[lizzydrakou]

Week 5

Full name: Georgia - Eleni Drakou

Student number: 388396

Week 5 

1. What are the main steps  Bryony Kimmings talks about in her devising process when describing developing 'Sex Idiot'?

Bryony Kimmings works combine cabaret, stand-up comedy and performance art. She is an artist that experiments and works with different performance media: theatre, video, dance, music and cabaret.

Sex idiot, an autobiographical piece,  was an idea Kimmings got while going out with a visual artist who had a studio. That idea of an artist having a practice and a space inspired and intrigued her. She wanted “to become someone with a craft and a voice that was original”. (p.20)

Bryony also wanted to speak about herself. This is what she knows best and this is the background of the artists she admires. Her story was about a STD (chlamydia) she had but did not know who gave it to her.  In the process of working on that piece she collected objects of aesthetic value, e-mails, and recorded interviews and got in a studio. She worked by connecting the objects with people and their stories. She created 17 stories which were all her own stories, experiences with different people.  Most of them were men she has slept with. For example, she interviewed an ex-boyfriend, Steve, she had 10 years ago.  At the end of the interview, she realised that she had behaved horribly towards him. When she  returned to her studio, she listened to the interview she cried and then grabbed a bunch of flowers she had picked on her way to the studio, and smashed them on her head.  This action became a part of her performance.  It was an ‘honest’ act that lasted six seconds but it was very important for the narration of the story. Then, as a next step she did what she called ‘sharing’ in order to receive feedback. This is necessary since she spends time at the studio alone  and she is not sure what may work or not. She then places these stories in a chronological order to allow the character to grow to become more self-aware and at the same time the information the audience receives from each story to connect and become coherent. After she started performing, Bryony continued to make changes since as she says herself “…a lot of what I do is looking into the eyes of human beings who are staring at me. I can see in their faces if it is not the right moment to say something…” (p.25).

Bryony compares her work with that of a musician who works on a score. She treats her work as ‘music’. After several performances,  she was approached by the director of Soho  who wanted a dramaturgical meeting with her which she had never done before. After she did though she realised,  that there were ‘layers’ in her work. These layers  were the different things she would do.  For example,  she used her finger to point at people, as a symbolic act of the way people are pointing the finger at others all the time. the time.  This became an extra layer on her performance. When you play something a lot of times, then the layers become obvious. At the end she used her computer to write everything as if you were listening to it.  Last, Bryony explains that she always collaborates with Krista and Alex that help her refine the photographs for the shows,  the airbrushing.  It’s important because the images of the show  project everything for her.  Also David Curtis Ring  who does the visuals with her,  costumes, props and sets.

 2.a Explain what Bryony might mean by saying  'instead of egotistically driving forward to make another show, the form will be dictated by the subject matter.’  [Dey, Misri. Making solo performance : six practitioner interviews ]

There is a point  where she talks about a solo work that she did call Mummy time.  She did this after the 7 Day Drunk,  which is another project where for seven days,  she was  scientifically  researching, experimenting and observing  the issue of alcoholism.  She had a friend who grew up  in a house with an alcoholic parent and later on became an alcoholic herself.  She wanted to talk about her experience  and in order to do that she would have an audience member,  that she would give a big amount of alcohol to get them drunk,  but before she actually created that interactive performance and involve an audience member she experimented  with the alcohol,  to see what it means to be drunk, what happens to you,  how the body functions.  She explains in this article,  in this interview,  that she didn’t enjoy that process for seven days;  she didn’t want to do the same mistake again.  She decided that she wants to make a lot of different things that match the subject matter. 'instead of egotistically driving forward to make another show, the form will be dictated by the subject matter.’  [Dey, Misri.Making solo performance : six practitioner interviews ].   This means that you allow the form of what you’re going to do to take the shape of the idea of the subject. She worked on  Mummy time  and afterwards in seven more pieces.  Mummy time  was a performance about  a kid that is growing up in a house,  with a mother apart from doing housework she is also selling heroin. She involves this young kid into cutting the heroine and placing it in little bags  and then selling it.  In order to work for that, she lets herself work the way things are coming to her head. Bryony did not want to work as if she had to create a performance but rather, in a more free manner to try out her ideas experiment and then see if this material can become a performance. “I’m going to talk only about what I want to talk and I’m going to choose how I’m going to talk about this based on the topic  and  not based on my ego”.  She was given a small apartment, she had as a collaborator a young girl who wanted to experiment with performance and she had the storyline in her head ( a real story from a person she knew). So she improvises and asks the other person to walk in and do the role of the mother or the kid or the social worker. She would also play a part. The idea of that piece was not to make the audience feel sad,  cry about the kid,  but rather make the  audience understand how many households exist where people are leaving under those circumstances. She would do little scenes,  the kid would walk from school  with the older sister to the house,  and the mother would immediately  tell her  to wrap the heroine with her sister,  right before finishing  the job,  a social worker would walk in the house  grab the kids and take them away.  Through improvisation she decided on the form; She allowed herself to be free and choose exactly the things she wanted to do through the original idea which was  to say his story of that particular kid. “ I had an idea to immerse someone  in the very chaotic life for five minutes and then  chuck them out the other side”

 2 b Give specific examples from a few of her shows where the form comes directly from the content.

As I  have already explained about sex idiot and Mummy time, these are two specific examples but also,  Heartache Heartbreak and Credible are clear examples of shows where the form comes directly from the content.

3.Looking at the practical work Tom Marshman did with you and the wider work within his showreel, what are the crossovers/ similarities between Tom Marshmans work and Bryony Kimmings work, in form, subject matter and process?

There  are many similarities between Tom Marshmans work and Bryony Kimmings work.  Both artists  talk about their lives or they narrate real stories that aren't usually discussed in society nowadays ; whether personal or someone else’s.

Tom Marshmans subject matter is not the same as Bryony Kimmings.  However, in terms of form and process  then use very similar techniques  and they’re both solo performers. They both use their own stories but also other people’s stories to create their performances. Bryony choses her stories from her memories and experiences whether Tom organizes tea parties in order to listen to stories and decide which ones to use. They both use improvisations as part of their process as well.

 4. What kind of autobiographical/ archival work would you like to make?

The autobiographical/ archival work I would like to make could be on how students can remain motivated while being locked at home during the Covid-19 pandemic. More specifically, I would like to interview different art students on the difficulties of working online. Degrees that are based on mostly physical work and team work such as theatre, it can be tricky to stay motivated. Before the pandemic, when I worked with my teammates, we filled those empty rooms with imagination and created our own imaginary worlds. Due to the current situation, I am now forced to work alone on my room and this sometimes gets very frustrating. I would like to spread awareness on this and try to propose ideas on how to stay motivated, how to keep your imagination going and how to use a small space to create a piece of theatre. Besides learning how actors can teamwork online, I could also using the brilliant techniques Bryony Kimming and Tom Marshman are using to encourage students to learn the process of creating a piece and solo performing. 

Bibliography: 

Tom Marshmans showreel [online] Available at: https://vimeo.com/391780412 [Accessed 4 November 2020]

Dey. M. Making Solo Performance,  Bryony Kimmings, pp. 17-51

[metawitches]

But First, A Brief, Non-Exhaustive Tour Through My Favorite Romantic Vampire Media

Though I have been writing reviews on this blog for more than three years, I have been keeping a dark secret from you, dear readers. I haven’t really been keeping the secret on purpose, but a lie of omission is still a lie, so please, try to forgive me. I don’t think this reveal will come as much of a shock to my regular readers.

The truth is, I have a deep, lifelong love of vampire romance. I’m open minded, and can consider other supernatural romances as well, but werewolves are so packminded that I question their devotion to their beloved. Ghosts seem so thin and superficial. Zombies are interested in brains, but I want more than just a relationship of the mind. Angels and demons both have to leave their beloveds in the lurch when they get called into service by the higher- and lower- powers they serve. A shapeshifter is an inconstant lover in so many ways, how could we ever develop trust?

There are exceptions: Oz from Buffy. The medieval ghosts of Lynn Kurland’s paranormal romance novels. The sentient zombies of In the Flesh. The married angel-demon couple from Midnight, Texas, another Charlaine Harris story. And no one is more trustworthy than True Blood’s own shapeshifter, Sam Merlotte.

As a general rule, witches and wizards are the only other supernatural beings I truly find exciting, with their wide range of abilities to charm or bewitch the pants off a girl, depending on the mood.

Since I’m a witch myself, and wizards are a dime a dozen, can you blame me for looking for a little more variety in my fantasy life?

Bring on the dark, brooding vampires, who are the epitome of devoted, romantic lovers, are immortal, manageably dangerous and adventurous, definitely where they’re supposed to be during the day, gorgeous and who can share their blood. Blood which, if used in small quantities, will heal without turning a human into a vampire, but which can also make the user immortal if desired, so they can share everlasting love with their vampire lover.

What could go wrong? Don’t answer that, we all need to discover some things for ourselves.

I admit, this is a hereditary issue for me. My mother and older sister sat me down in front of the Gothic soap opera Dark Shadows in 1966, when I was 5 years old, to watch the trials and tribulations of vampire Barnabas Collins, of the supernatural Collins family of Collinsport, Maine. Collinsport was a mysterious town on the cold, rocky shores of northern Maine, just like the small towns in coastal northern Maine my mother’s family had lived in for 300 years, until my parents moved us to upstate NY.

With the amount of inbreeding that went on in the small early populations of northern New England, I wouldn’t be surprised if I share some relatives in common with Barnabas Collins. 😉 I certainly share the vampire’s love of night and inability to handle strong light.

(Yes, I live in New Mexico, why do you ask? This is why hats, tinted glasses and long summers with warm nights were invented. True Blood is a Southern Gothic for a reason. The Twilight vampires can keep their rain soaked, cold climates.)

I still have a copy with this original cover.

Dark Shadows ran for 6 seasons, through 1971. Then I moved on to films and book series, most notably Anne Rice. I received 2 copies of her book Interview with the Vampire for my 16th birthday, in 1977, because my friends and family knew me well, and I haven’t looked back since. Though the author clearly favors the character Lestat, tenderhearted Louis will always be my favorite of her vampires. He is, after all, the vampire who was interviewed.

There were other favorites through the years, such as the film The Lost Boys in 1987 and the Dark Shadows revival in 1991. There were viral vampires, such as The Strain and The Passage, descendants of Nosferatu rather than Dracula. Viral vampires are better not mentioned if you prefer your vampires to be romantic. There was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, film and series. Who could resist Angel? He was so irresistible that David Boreanaz has starred in one TV series or another continuously ever since. I definitely resisted Spike, though I know others didn’t.

There was The Vampire Diaries on The CW, which ran for 8 seasons (2009-17) and spawned 2 spin off series, The Originals (2013-18) and Legacies (2018- ). The first 4 seasons of The Vampire Diaries were as good as any vampire media I’ve seen anywhere. I lost interest when the storylines were watered down by splitting the cast to create spin offs and some of my favorite actors left the franchise, but those vampires are obviously still doing it for others.

Over the years, Ann Rice has written more than a dozen books on vampires, plus other series on other supernaturals, some with her son, Christopher Rice. She managed to make a mummy sexy. Her original vampire trilogy was turned into two mediocre films. I also had a fling with Katie MacAlister’s Dark Ones book series in the 00s, a fun vampire soulmate series. Now I notice she’s added a few installments since I last checked in with it about 10 years ago so, yay! Something else to read over the winter.

The big vampire story of the 00s was Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight book series, which my kids and I shared the way I’d shared Dark Shadows with my family as a child. The Twilight films were terrible, terrible things. I recommend skipping them. But as with so much that’s perceived to be originally aimed at teenage girls, the Twilight books have been unfairly maligned. They are full of universal themes and vivid characters.

Bella is a great character for anyone to follow and she has a romance to die for. She does so much more than have a boyfriend and a baby in her books, but even if that’s all she did, it would be enough. Navigating personal relationships is a huge part of life, and for someone from a background of abuse and neglect, like Bella, learning how to have healthy relationships when you are older is a long term challenge.

If it takes a vampire family to show you what real love, care, equal relationships and decent parenting look like, there’s nothing wrong with that. There are very good reasons why Bella’s romance is in love not just with Edward, but with his entire clan. Because of her childhood experiences, she’s in love with the idea of transforming from a human who has difficulty defending herself against the human monsters in her world, who include her parents, into a vampire who can protect herself and her entire devoted vampire family from even the fiercest of supernatural monsters. After a youth full of struggle, she finds her own power and uses it on her own terms to win a war, in addition to conducting an epic vampire romance.

There was a last, forgotten, one and done vampire TV series of the 00s, Moonlight, on CBS, starring Alex O’Loughlin, who quickly went on to become better known as Steve McGarrett in the Hawaii Five-0 revival, and Jason Dohring of Veronica Mars. Moonlight aired during the 2007-08 season, so it was affected by the infamous, endless writers’ strike which killed more than 1 show that year. It was just hitting its stride when the season was cut short.

As a vampire romance noir which explored multiple historical time periods plus the present day, it was sadly ahead of its time for broadcast TV. Plus, though the show had already been completely recast after early sample filming (except for Alex O’Loughlin), the writing still focused too much on the relationship between O’Loughlin’s main vampire character, Mick St John, and the lead ingenue human female, Beth (Sophia Myles), rather than the much more interesting and complex relationship between Mick and his ancient vampire, on again-off again wife and maker, Coraline (Shannyn Sossamon).

The show was course correcting in that direction when it ended after 16 episodes, an unusually short season in those days. I would be thrilled with a reboot of Moonlight that was done right. (It’s currently streaming on cwseed.com.)

Alas, the media deities rarely listen to my brilliant ideas, so we are subject to the slings and arrows and fangs of outrageous fortune. But just 4 short months after Moonlight went off the air, a new vampire romance rolled into town, and it wasn’t shy about telling us what it wanted. True Blood was the answer to all my vampire romance prayers.

Let’s Finally Review True Blood Season 1

True Blood aired on HBO for 7 seasons, for a total of 80 episodes, from the fall of 2008 to the summer of 2014. It’s based on the 13-14 book series The Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris. The TV series was created by Alan Ball, who was handpicked by Charlaine Harris because she felt he understood what she was trying to do with the books. He stayed on as showrunner for the first 5 seasons, which were all critically acclaimed.

The TV series stars Anna Paquin as Sookie Stackhouse, a telepathic waitress who lives in Bon Temps, a small town in rural Louisiana. Sookie sees her telepathy as a disability because she has a hard time turning it off, which makes it difficult to concentrate on anything else or to have normal human relationships. As a result, she’s socially isolated, other than a few close friends and her family- the warm, generous grandmother she lives with, Adele, known as Gran (Lois Smith), and her charming but selfish, promiscuous brother, Jason (Ryan Kwanten).

Sookie works at her friend Sam Merlotte’s bar and restaurant (Sam Trammell), where she’s also friends with much married fellow waitress Arlene (Carrie Preston) and fabulous short-order cook and hustler, Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis). Her best friend and Lafayette’s cousin, Tara (Rutina Wesley), begins working at Merlotte’s as a bartender at the beginning of the series. Most of the town passes through Merlotte’s at one time or another, since it’s a popular local hangout.

Sookie’s parents died in a flash flood when she was a child, but other than that and her telepathy, her life has been normal, even humdrum. Until vampires came out of the coffin a few years ago, as far as she knew there was nothing extraordinary about the world. She still has no idea why she’s psychic.

A synthetic blood which can sustain vampires, known by the brand name Tru Blood, has encouraged vampires to take the controversial step of revealing themselves as a species to humans. Amongst both vampires and humans, some have embraced this revelation and some fear what it will mean for the future. Sookie makes her very first vampire acquaintance, with the vampire Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer), when he stops by Merlotte’s to try a Tru Blood. Bill is attempting to mainstream, meaning he’s trying to blend in with humans as much as possible, rather than living the full vampire lifestyle, which naturally disregards human manners and customs. Normal vampire ways tend to alienate normal humans fairly quickly. They can even be deadly for humans.

Vampire blood can be used as a recreational drug, so there are dealers who capture vampires, drain their blood, then sell it. Sometimes they kill the vampire in the process. In the first episode, an unethical couple lure Bill into the parking lot to drain him, which Sookie overhears using her telepathic ability. Sookie is surprised to discover how easily some silver and the promise of a tasty snack can disarm a vampire. She rescues Bill and their relationship is born.

Due to the images her telepathy puts in her head, Sookie has never been able to date human men, so Bill is her first boyfriend. His main attraction is that she’s unable to read his mind. Perhaps because they are technically dead, vampire minds are a blank to her. For a telepath who’s always “on”, this is soothing.

True Blood season 1 is a Southern Gothic, paranormal, horror, mystery, romance, urban fantasy, much the same as the book it’s based on, Charlaine Harris’ Dead Until Dark. Though the subject matter is intense, the writing is relatively fast-paced and there’s a dark comedy element to it that keeps the horror aspect from becoming overwhelming. The show isn’t as light and breezy as the books; in addition to the book’s humor it uses visuals and a heightened reality to emphasize the outrageous nature of Sookie’s world. The characters frequently comment on that outrageousness and on the ironies taking place around them.

In season 1, there’s a serial killer on the loose who provides the season long mystery arc. The killer is after young women who’ve been with both vampires and human men. Since Sookie has a vampire boyfriend and is frequently around other men, she eventually becomes one of the targets.

The show’s theme song, Bad Things, by Jace Everett, perfectly encapsulates the mood of True Blood. It’s an upbeat country song that promises an out of control romance, which plays over the opening credit sequence of each episode. Humans and animals experiencing intense situations flash by, while names are superimposed over them. The activities in the visuals aren’t necessarily even immoral, they’re just filmed in a way that makes them feel creepy, until you aren’t sure anymore what’s actually bad and what’s just making you feel bad.

Like an insidious vampire who wants to have his way with us, the opening credits act to lower our boundaries and confuse us, so that we’re disoriented and easily taken out of our normal lives. Whether we’re being glamoured, romanced, drugged or conned, the first step is to convince us to leave our previous concept of normal behind.

The first year I watched True Blood, I thought the opening sequence was the grossest, most horrible opening credits sequence ever made. Now I love it and think it’s one of the best. Is that a good development or a bad one? *shrug* I still can’t watch the maggots though. The vampires haven’t completely taken me over.

True Blood continues to lower our defenses and push our boundaries once the opening credits end. Vampires and shapeshifters are welcomed into normal society. They take part in panels on CNN, discussing legal changes which have been proposed to help or hinder their assimilation. They stop at the 7-11 to pick up a 6 pack on their way home. They have difficulty getting a contractor to come out to their rural home and need a referral from a friend. They are business owners, employers and employees.  They worry about getting blood stains out of their laundry. Possibly a little more often than most of us, but still.

They sleep underground in the graveyard when they can’t make it home before dawn. It’s sort of like crashing at a friend’s house. Okay, that one is pushing the boundaries of normal human culture. There is an entire vampire culture that exists outside of human sight, but we only touch the surface of it in season 1.

Sookie is drawn into this world as she seeks to solve the murder mystery and enlists Bill’s help. She visits a vampire bar run by the ancient vampire sheriff, Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgård) and his vampire progeny, Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten). They learn of her telepathy and seek to use her talents to solve their own mysteries.

Shenanigans ensue for 7 unparalleled seasons.

True Blood Season 1 vs The Southern Vampire Mysteries Book 1 (Dead Until Dark)

True Blood season 1 follows Dead Until Dark, the first book in the series, closely, using the same serial killer plot as the main mystery storyline and Sookie’s romance with Bill as the supernatural focus. The book was originally published in 2001 and my 2008 paperback copy is a quick 292 page read.

Neither the TV season nor the book are my favorite of their respective series, mainly because I am emphatically not a fan of Bill Compton and eventually I start to gag over the way Sookie continuously drools over him. But they are both entertaining and introduce the world of Sookie and Bon Temps with enough suspense, heart and humor to draw you into the next book and season.

In season 1, the TV series faithfully recreates Charlaine Harris’ version of Sookie’s world, from Gran’s old but well-loved farmhouse to Eric Northman’s vampire tourist bar, Fangtasia. The series also included mainly the same characters and subplots as the book, with a few alterations. The main difference is that the TV show expanded on plotlines that were only briefly mentioned in the book, such as recreational V(ampire blood) consumption by humans, Lafayette’s off hours activities and the vampires’ struggle for equal rights.

Many of the supporting characters and their backstories are much more developed in True Blood season 1 than they are in book 1. This is an unusual difference between a book and a movie, but it’s not as surprising when you realize that the Sookie Stackhouse novels are narrated in the first person by Sookie herself. Expanding on other characters isn’t a priority for her, even though it could be aided by her telepathy. She’s basically obsessed with Vampire Bill and the murders in this book, whereas she’s known the other characters her whole life. It’s natural for her to have little interest in providing extra details, so she tells us enough, but we don’t get a full biography.

Two characters who go on to appear in multiple books are left out of the TV series, Bubba and JB du Rone. Bubba is based on a very famous real life singer, so they probably figured he’d be distracting, as he typically is in the books. JB du Rone is a sweet man-child who shares some similarities with Lafayette and eventually becomes close to Tara. I suspect the Lafayette we see on screen is actually meant to be a composite character, with many tweaks and Lafayette’s brains.

The biggest change from Dead Until Dark is the addition of Tara Thornton to the cast. In the books she doesn’t appear until the 2nd installment, Living Dead in Dallas. Several major season 1 subplots revolve around Tara, including the set up for the main storyline for season 2, and she’s heavily involved in other characters’ plot arcs as well. Rutina Wesley is such a vibrant presence that it’s hard to imagine Bon Temps without her version of Tara, so this was certainly a welcome change. With Tara comes her alcoholic mother, Lettie Mae, played by one of my favorite actresses, Adina Porter.

Another notable change is the expansion of the storyline for book character Amy Burley, played by Lizzy Caplan. She and Jason become involved with a vampire played the Man in the High Castle himself, Stephen Root, with disastrous consequences, but it’s fun while it lasts. The Amy-Jason-V subplot is particularly effective, with its psychedelic visuals, sometimes subtle violence and obsessive relationships.

The actors and the visuals drive home the multiple abuse aspects of this plotline in a way that would be much more difficult using only words. The genius of True Blood is that the writing, acting, music and visuals come together to make an entertaining, memorable show while showing the dark side of society and how that dark underbelly can bring pain and pleasure. But True Blood wouldn’t exist if Charlaine Harris’ genius hadn’t already given us the snarky, bold, scandalous world they are elaborating on.

True Blood is streaming on HBO’s websites and Amazon Prime. Charlaine Harris has a new book in her current Gunnie Rose series, A Longer Fall, coming out in January 2020. Until then, I’m amusing myself by revisiting Sookie Stackhouse.

Images belong to those who created them.

Book vs Screen Review: True Blood Season 1 vs Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris-But First, A Brief, Non-Exhaustive Tour Through My Favorite Romantic Vampire Media-Bring on the dark, brooding vampires. #TrueBlood #CharlaineHarris But First, A Brief, Non-Exhaustive Tour Through My Favorite Romantic Vampire Media Though I have been writing reviews on this blog for more than three years, I have been keeping a dark secret from you, dear readers.

[scrawnydutchman]

Why Nite Owl is the Best Character in ‘Watchmen’

Many art forms over the years have had difficulty finding the respect they deserve when they first start out. It’s only natural; new ideas tend to get the shaft by older generations afraid of change “corrupting the country” because apparently centuries of social and scientific innovation can be brought crumbling down by some little yellow cartoon kid saying “don’t have a cow, man”. Every form of artistic expression has had to battle censorship, unwarranted criticism and senseless conspiracy in their day, be it music, film, comedy, animation, video games. Even BOOKS were condemned as tools for evil by the earliest philosophers of human history.

“[Writing] will create forgetfulness in the learners’ souls, because they will not use their memories; they will trust to the external written characters and not remember of themselves.” - Socrates

Comic books are no different. Matter of fact, they might just be the most prominent example of this. They’ve been credited time and time again for influencing youth to a life of crime and ignorance, especially in probably the most infamous case of anti-comic book propaganda, Friedric Wertham’s The Seduction of the Innocent, which made such bombastic claims as suggesting Batman and Robin are encouraging the youth to engage in homosexual affairs (different time folks, different time. Fun fact though; that’s why Batgirl was invented, to give Batman a girlfriend for his time to dispute such claims).

*Though to be fair, when you read these hilarious panels out of context you can sort of see some brow-raising implications. This is why context matters.*

But the upside to the battles every medium faces is that eventually along will come a masterpiece that breaks the mold. A revolutionary bit of literary work that changes the way we look at the medium long after it premieres. When it comes to comic books, if you ever find somebody telling you it’s not real art or it’s just kid stuff, you tell them to read motherfucking WATCHMEN. Written by Alan Moore and illustrated by Dave Gibbons, Watchmen is a timelessly cryptic tale of washed up former heroes, godlike beings with humanity slipping away and debates on proper ethics, all under the tension of a cold war stricken America where everyone feels like they can die at any moment. The story has went on to be recognized as one of New York times 100 greatest novels in 2005, joining the ranks of Catcher in the Rye and Clockwork Orange. And it’s praise is rightfully earned. The compelling murder mystery, the growing tension between military forces, the intricate detail of an alternate history Cold War, the play on themes like science, religion, morality and nostalgia, all brought together through beautiful silver age inspired artwork and masterful frame composition that makes the reader feel like their watching a movie.

Of course, being such a classic in the comic book world, it has equally iconic characters, which are all very original (ironic since they’re all basically reskinned Charlton Comics characters invented by Steve Ditko). The most commonly favorited and analyzed among fans being Rorschach, the conspiracy buff ruthless vigilante who is the black-and-white moral compass (though he’s not nearly as black and white as people give him credit for, we’ll get to that in a bit), Dr. Manhattan, the all powerful allegory for both God AND the atom bomb who is ever so slowly losing his grip on his own humanity, and the Comedian, the nihilistic, alcoholic, sex offender soldier who sees life as a monstrous joke and dies not having the last laugh. Those characters are all well and good, but there is one character I’ve grown particularly fond of whom I don’t think gets enough recognition for just how fascinating his dilemma and growth is. That is of course Daniel Dreiberg, the every-man turned superhero Nite Owl.

In order to fully appreciate Nite Owl, we’ll need to recap some context from the story. I’ve already touched upon how one of the major themes of the story is Nostalgia. After all, nearly every character in this story is distraught about the oncoming terror of the Cold War getting hot and they all want to remember a simpler time when it was clear who the bad guy was and what to do about it. Nobody embodies this theme more then Dan Dreiberg. He’s had a passion for crime fighting since he was very young, so much so that he used his fathers inheritance to develop crime fighting gear and tech and took on the mantle of Nite Owl after the original, Hollis Mason, had long since retired. Many of the other characters only became heroes because they were thrown into their situations by one force or another, but Dan had a longing to be a problem solver who wanted to defend the innocent and uphold the law in the most fun and dramatic way possible. When he wore the goggles he felt like there was no problem too large for him to handle. He was hopeful and he was optimistic.

“No matter how black it got, when I looked through these goggles . . . everything was clear as day.” - Ch. 7, pg 9, panel 8-9

Of course, after the Keenes act passed which outlawed vigilante justice, Dan was forced to begrudgingly hang up the cape. His confidence and vigor was seemingly forever trapped down in his basement, collecting dust. He became overweight. He grew timid and insecure. He let Rorschach walk all over him and abuse their friendship when they used to be trusted partners. He lived on in denial of what he truly wanted. He loved Laurie Juspeczyk for years but never confessed it, and even when he had the chance to embrace Laurie in sex he felt impotent and out of place. The dire feeling of living without meaning haunted his every move, and he was tired of being held on into a life of mediocrity.

“It’s this war. The feeling that it’s unavoidable. It makes me feel so powerless. So impotent.” - Ch. 7, pg 19, panel 8-9

It’s only when he puts the mask back on and willingly breaks the law holding him down that he starts to feel happy again. He begins to smile, he feels more positive about what to do about the cold war hanging over his head and Rorschach’s mask killer conspiracy. He’s finally able to satisfy Laurie sexually, and he even starts standing up to Roschach for all the shit he puts him through.

“I feel so confident it’s like I’m on fire. And all the mask killers, all the wars in the world, they’re just cases--problems to solve” - Ch. 7, pg 28, panel 5

“Listen, I've had it! Who the hell do you think you are? You live off people while insulting them, nobody complains because they think you’re a goddamned lunatic . . . you know how hard it is, being your friend?” - Ch. 10, pg 16, panel 5

The reason why I appreciate this so much is because Nite Owl embodies why we love superheroes: because they ARE problem solvers. They DO take on larger then life challenges, and  they always find a way to put evil in it’s place. They enable us to have a more optimistic outlook and they prove that not only is doing the right thing possible, but it can be really fun too! Readers feel more empowered and enthusiastic when reading about the latest adventures of their heroes, because suddenly huge problems aren’t so scary anymore. It’s why comic books were so popular as anti Nazi and Japanese propaganda in WW2 and why superheroes skyrocketed in popularity throughout the decades of the cold war.

Nite Owl loves everything old fashioned. It’s why his childhood hero was the first Nite Owl Hollis Mason and why he spends so much of his time trapped in the past, always talking to Hollis about the old days and constantly visiting his basement to ponder them. He even demonstrates his longing for older times in extremely subtle ways, like his personal taste in music is all classic stuff and he’s out of touch on modern lingo.

“Oh well, mostly I’m into Billie Holiday, Nellie Lutcher, Louis Jordan . . . stuff like that.” - Ch. 7, pg 10, panel 3.

Generally speaking Dan’s dilemma in the story and his evolution as a character is a lot more underplayed and nuance then other character arcs, which I actually really appreciate. The book is fantastic, but I often felt like for other characters they basically just spell out their own character synopsis for the reader and leave little to the imagination. Rorschach and Dr. Manhattan especially had this issue in my opinion. Their character specific chapters didn’t rely very much on context clues or allowing the panels to tell the story (except for in certain instances), instead they basically just monologue to themselves on what they’re all about and why they do what they do. Plus as I stated briefly before I feel like Rorschach is a bit overrated, especially when they describe him as “seeing morality in black and white”. He’s made more then a few compromises and weird judgements in the story. There’s the more understandable example of when he refuses to beat the woman who made false assault allegations on him on tv because her kids were watching, but then there’s also the time where he describes the Comedians rape attempt on the first silk spectre as a “moral lapse”. Since when does the “black and white morality” character believe in moral lapses? Especially ones for topics as touchy as rape? pages later he breaks a guy in a bars set of fingers because the dude said he smelled bad behind his back. So let me get this straight: attempted rape is a moral lapse, but somebody saying you smell bad behind your back is punishable by finger breaking?? Seems to me Rorschach cares more about his reputation in the underworld then actually maintaining black and white morality. He even admits how much his reputation matters to him.

“Can’t. Serious Business. Slur on reputation.” - Ch. 10, pg 6, panel 5

But anyway, I've gone on enough tangents in this post. My point is that this graphic novel is phenomenal and a must-read for fans wanting to get into comic books or even literature in general. I just wanted to talk about an aspect not appreciated often enough, and how excellently it’s portrayed. There’s a reason Nite Owl is my favorite character and my favorite chapter is “A Brother to Dragons”. He articulates the theme of nostalgia perfectly and is a wonderful allegory for the reader and every man just trying to find an outlet for his problems. Plus he brings some much needed positivity and relief into an otherwise mercilessly dark and pessimistic book. It’s a shame Nite Owl all too often gets the shaft, even in his own story arc in the Before Watchmen series (which I have a bit of a distaste for because the artwork is way too layered in thick sketchy linework to be appealing and sometimes Rorschach just straight up hijacks the story). Hopefully this post will bring him some much deserved recognition.

[nutriyumaddict]

5, 10, 34 and 42 (Ben) please! 💗💗

Thank youuuuu! :)

This got long so putting behind a read more.

5: do you write scenes in a linear fashion or do you write future scenes/dialogues sometimes?

I’ve almost always jump around and write out of order. Sometimes, I’ll have the ending completely written before I fill up holes in the middle. That was definitely the case with bother mermaid fic and train fic.

10: any writing advice?

Ohhhhh, well. Let’s see:

Read a lot (novels, short stories, fic, whatever). I feel like that helps, not only for  inspiration but also in terms of just getting familiar and in-tune with flow and pacing, regarding story.

Try to write what you want and/or what you enjoy.

Also, I feel like there are no rules (always do X, never do Y, etc…) when it comes to creative pursuits. Art shouldn’t have rules! Make something and put it out there and if people like it, great (and obviously, that feels wonderful and comments/kudos are the best) but if they don’t, that’s okay too. You created something and that’s wonderful!

34: a scene/paragraph you wrote that you’re proud of

From Two More Parties: (Sorry, this is kinda long). I’m proud of it because I think Ben and his dad are a hard relationship to figure out/write. Personally, I think they are not that close, but I think they do love each other. It’s just complicated.

Ben is rummaging through his bag looking for his copy of the latest William Gibson novel, when his father comes out of the master bathroom, wearing a pair of blue and white striped pajamas. He recognizes them instantly.

“Are those the ones Leslie and I sent last Christmas?”

“Yeah,” his dad confirms. “I usually sleep naked but I figured–”

“Oh god. Yes, pajamas are good,” Ben agrees quickly, giving up the search for his book and instead just standing there awkwardly.

“I like airing out the equipment at night,” his dad adds, heading towards the dresser and the bottle of scotch.

He continues to stare as his father simultaneously pours drinks and makes Ben feel incredibly uncomfortable at the same time.

Ladies and gentlemen, Steven Wyatt.

“Besides, that way if I get a boner, it’s that much easier to–”

“Wow. Please stop talking. I get it. I don’t need to hear about the details.”

“What? I would think you’d appreciate knowing that everything still works on the old man. You know, genetics and all that. Wyatt men have no trouble in that department. Did you know that Teddy had a heart attack right in the middle of–”

“With Lila?” Ben asks, his curiosity getting the better of him, even as he has difficulty holding back a shudder, while trying to get the now-present visual of his dad’s much older brother and his…special lady friend out of his mind.

“Who else? Seventy years old and he’s still humping away on her like a teenager, right until his heart stopped and he collapsed on top of her. I always knew he ate too many fried foods. Anyway. You got a lot of good years ahead of you, my son,” he says, walking over and giving Ben a hard punch in the arm.

His dad finishes with a, “just stay away from the donuts,” and then hands one of the glasses to Ben.

“Oh, I really don’t like scotch. Um, Ron,” he pauses, realizing how strange it is to actually say the man’s name out loud instead of the current moniker of you-know-who or Leslie’s recent favorite, that-stupid-jerk-face, “made me try some once before and I just don’t like–”

“Don’t be a pussy. Have a drink with me,” his dad insists, sitting down on the bed. “This is my bachelor party.”

Ben sighs and takes a seat in the nearby chair. “Alright.”

They toast and he tries a sip but, yep, it’s still horrible. Ben does manage to swallow this time, though. So at least that’s good.

“I went to a tea party yesterday,” his dad tells him.

“You did?”

“Yeah. Your sister–”

“Stephanie was here?”

“No,” he says slowly. “The small one. Your three year-old sister.”

“Oh. Roxy. Right. Of course. My half-sister. Sister.”

That earns him an irritated look, but his dad continues. “She had a little table in her room all set up with stuffed animals and we drank pretend tea and ate real cookies.”

Ben smiles. “That’s cute.” It really is, he thinks, although he can’t at all visualize his gruff and terrifying father drinking pretend tea, surrounded by stuffed animals.

“It was really fucking cute,” Steve agrees, smiling back. “And no. I never did anything like that with Stephanie. I just…the point is…look, Ben. I’m trying. You kids grew up with your mom and I fighting all the time and sure, it could have been better but it also could have been worse but we did the best we could. And now maybe I have a chance to do it all better.”

“I know,” Ben says. And really, he does. It wasn’t ideal but times were different then and his parents were pretty miserable living together. But he really does hope his dad is a good father to Roxanne. “I know that, dad. We all do.“

“Alright. Drink up, then.”

Just then, Sonia wakes up and starts to cry.

Slightly relieved at the interruption, Ben puts the scotch down and goes over to the crib and picks his daughter up. He starts walking her around the room, trying to get her to settle down so that she doesn’t wake her brothers up. He even sings a few lines of an REM song to her.

Sonia smiles up at him and quiets down and Ben is so filled with love he can’t even believe it. He’s so full of love whenever he holds or cuddles or sings to one of the kids. Whenever he thinks about his family–-his team.

“You’re a good father,” the older man tells him quietly. “A good man. I’m proud of you, Benny.”

42: five songs that this character has on their iPod/iPhone?

So, I’m going to do Mermaid AU Ben since I just wrote that and it’s kind of where my head still is:

Night Swimming - REMMariner’s Revenge Song - The DecemberistsInto the Mystic - Van MorrisonRiver Rise - Mark LaneganThe Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald - Gordon Lightfoot

Mermaid AU Ben is a strange mixture of very focused and Ben-like, while also being kind of obliviously obsessed. He knows he has a thing for mermaid folklore and lakes and history (so to some degree he knows he’s obsessed) but then there are other unconscious decisions he makes all the time that go back to what happened to him as a child too.

For instance, the condo he bought in Bloomington overlooked a lake. He thought he bought it because the kitchen had granite countertops and the floors were hardwood, but it was really because he wanted to be near a lake. Also, 48% of the songs on his ipod reference bodies of water/have an aquatic theme.

He’s just always surrounding himself with maritime imagery whether it’s all of his pet fish or the artwork he chooses for his walls, which are mostly lake and ocean themes/colors. It’s this subconscious hole he’s trying to fill until he gets Leslie back in his life.

[another-writer]

Begin Again

Based on this request x

Summary: You, an undergrad engineering student move into the Avengers compound by your close friend, Tony Stark’s request. This is a story of a tech-savvy, sardonic mechanical engineer helping the man out of time, Bucky Barnes, get back on his feet and into his own head and maybe just having difficulty with problems that she can’t use wrenches or screwdrivers to fix. 

Pairings: Bucky x Reader; platonic!Tony x Reader

Word count: 2,626

A/N: this is my first series and I guess the first chapter’s always going to be a little slow because it’s all about exposition, right? I hope you guys like this, I’m pretty excited for this series. This story also mentions the events mapped in Civil War so be prepped for spoilers.

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 End

Your heart pounded nervously as you entered the compound, a duffel bag on your shoulder and a pass key in hand. You walked past the reception desk and slotted the card in place to access the elevator, taking you from the silent lobby up past the masses of floors teeming with people. Men and women in lab coats or tactical gear swarmed the building carrying files or prototypes or armour. 

Stark was surrounded by people constantly. It was good for him.

You, though, were incredibly nervous seeing so many people. But it was easy being around Tony having known him for a few years, so your mind eased every time you focused on that. 

When you reached the right floor, you adjusted your bag and held onto the strap, looking around for your best friend without trying to look too lost or suspicious. You wondered how “Earth’s mightiest heroes” responded to a stranger looking like a lost deer wondering around their living quarters. 

‘[Y/N]!’ 

You spun around, relieved when you saw Tony approaching; Rhodes, whom you had met a few times in the past, was behind him.

‘Hey,’ you greeted, hugging him briefly before re-adjusting your bag. ‘You got a nice place here, Stark; pretty empty though, no wonder you asked me to come round.’

Tony smirked and then gestured to Rhodes. ‘You’ve met James, right?’

‘Yeah, hi,’ you smiled, offering your hand for him to shake. ‘How’s it going?’

‘Being Stark’s personal babysitter? Pretty good,’ Rhodes nodded. ‘Except when he calls me by my first name, stop that,’ he added, smacking Tony in the ribs.

‘Aren’t all babysitters personal?’ you smirked.

Rhodes chuckled. ‘How’s university?’

‘Good,’ you replied. ‘Better now that I can put an apprenticeship with Tony Stark on my CV.’

‘Apprenticeship? Is that what you’re calling it?’ Tony quirked an eyebrow and took your duffel bag from you and swinging it over his own shoulder before you could protest.

You followed him and Rhodes to what you assumed would be your bedroom while you were here. 

‘My professors wouldn’t believe me if I said that Tony Stark needed my help designing upgrades and creating armour,’ you admitted. ‘Plus, it doesn’t sound as succinct.’ 

‘Yeah, that’s what the world is looking for,’ Tony said sarcastically. ‘Succinct.’

‘I know you’re kidding but there’s actually a harsh reality in that,’ you said knowingly as Tony set your bag down on your bed. ‘Thank you,’ you added.

‘Alright, kid, come here,’ he grunted, engulfing you in a bear hug, trapping your arms by your side.

‘I get it, Stark, you life means nothing without me,’ you rolled your eyes playfully. 

A few months before you graduated from high school in Manhattan, you took a part-time job at a mechanic’s, mainly fixing cars and such. When someone came to sell off their old motorcycle you jumped at the opportunity before your boss could say that the guy was at the wrong place. Within three days you had taken a beat-up original Triumph Bonneville, designed and fitted a new engine, changed the breaks, re-worked the leather seat, and polished the whole thing down. It was a simple job but you cared for it like a first born. 

Unfortunately, your first born child almost got you into serious trouble when Tony Stark nearly rear-ended you on the road several months later. You had forgotten to check if the battery needed changing (which apparently it did), so the bike died right on the road. Tony was more worried than mad and when he realised how young you were, he couldn’t help but be impressed with your handiwork. He gave you a new job as a lab intern and checked your progress like a proud father until you went off to college, after which you still kept in touch. You weren’t there from the beginning, but you did see a lot of what Tony went through, especially after the attack on New York. 

‘When can I get started?’

‘Eat first,’ was Tony’s response. 

You groaned when your stomach rumbled. Eating was less riveting than the engineering you wanted to do. ‘Yes, Dad.’

You were flicking through a pile of blueprints as you ate, Tony explaining the functions of the compound to you. There were so many people and so many jobs that it made your head spin.

‘Do the others live here as well?’ you asked. ‘Rogers? Maximoff?’ Barnes? 

‘They do, but everyone’s out on an emergency mission,’ Tony said. ‘I thought I’d stay behind and make sure you got in okay.’

You swallowed nervously. ‘Is that okay? I mean, what if they need you out there?’

‘They’ll call,’ Tony said. ‘We do that now, we make calls and stuff.’

‘Stark, I make one comment about your age and you just have to ...’ You trailed off and shook your head fondly. ‘C’mon, what’s my first project?’

 ‘Okay ...’ you murmured, unsure. ‘That’s not what I was expecting.’

Tony shrugged. ‘I take it upon myself to be unpredictable to make things interesting. I’m nice like that.’

You bit your lip skeptically. ‘I’d say Vibranium or starters but I’m sure that you already thought of that and wouldn’t know where to get any.’

‘I’m sort of best friends with the King of Wakanda, that’s not a problem.’

You frowned. ‘I thought we were best friends,’ you said sardonically. You sighed. ‘How long exactly has Barnes been without an arm?’

Tony pretended to count on his fingers. ‘Well, he’s been out of cryo for about a month now -’

‘And he’s been missing an arm the entire time?’ you cried. 

‘Not exactly, I built him a temporary one but it’s boring. Also it was super weak and it stopped working.’

‘It’s boring,’ you repeated. ‘It’s an arm, Tony.’

‘I just meant that he could get a better one and I figured you’d want to help. Give you something different to do.’

‘How did it stop working?’

‘Banner did a scan and we couldn’t get Barnes’ brain to communicate and make the arm move.’

You thought about it. Prosthesis were performed everyday but not with Vibranium metal and maybe that’s why Stark had trouble in the first place. 

‘So Barnes only has one working arm.’

‘Yep.’

‘So where is he now? I’m assuming he wasn’t sent out into the field in his condition.’

‘Nah, he’s around here somewhere,’ Tony said off-handedly and it was the first time he seemed to let himself crack since you had started discussing Barnes. You had heard about how Tony’s parents had died by the Winter Soldier’s hands (literally) and were surprised how calmly Tony seemed to be handling living with the ex-assassin. Barnes and Stark interacting ... it was something you wanted to see. 

You had been in Geneva, Switzerland during the time of the debacle over the Accords, relying at first on biased news reports that labelled Bucky Barnes as a terrorist, and Tony’s long phone call after the fight had died down. He told you what Barnes had done whilst under the influence of HYDRA and the thought of it made your skin crawl. You couldn’t imagine what it was like to wake up from a nightmare and realise that it was actually all true and have to live with the consequences. When Tony had called you asking to work with him, you wondered whether Barnes would also be there, your fascination with him confusing you relentlessly because ... well, you had never met him.

Knowing that he was here and that you would soon meet him made you nervous. 

It didn’t take long for you to fit into the compound as if you had been there for years rather than days. Steve was both your second mother and older brother, Natasha was Cool Aunt Natasha with the knives hidden in secret places and the stories where she kicked ass every single time; Sam was easily the most easy-going guy you had ever met and never failed to make you smile. He had a part-time job as a councilor which you thought suited him well. Wanda was friendly but shy and Tony admitted she had been through a lot of emotional and self-deprecating trauma concerning her powers so she was a little shy. 

You, for one, were never one to complain about someone’s lack of confidence since you understood it. 

You had finished your sketches of Barnes’ new arm, had taken into account the amount of Vibranium you would need, the intricate wiring, and after contacting King T’Challa (which was awesome, you actually spoke to a foreign power), he informed you that he would personally send experts in the field of medical and bio-engineering to help. 

Getting measurements had been strange. When you had voiced your concern over the actual size of the arm, thinking that you yourself could measure Bucky’s right arm to get an idea, Steve had returned within the hour with the measurements. You were designing an arm for a man you hadn’t met.

After thirty two straight hours of actually building the arm, you and Tony were exhausted and starving but were relentless to get the job done. It was seven in the morning, Steve would be coming back in an hour from his run with Sam so you thought you could ask him to bring Bucky to the lab to get the arm fitted. 

‘So,’ you said, leaning back in your chair and stirring your cereal, ‘is this some sort of truce?’

Tony looked at you curiously. 

You nodded to the prosthetic sitting in its holder on the bench. ‘I got the idea that I would be working on this alone but you’ve been with me the entire time; you practically lead the thing.’

Tony stared at the arm running a finger over the rim of the mug in his hands. ‘I haven’t talked to Barnes much since he got here,’ he said. ‘We haven’t really had a conversation, I’m not really good with those, y’know?’

You waited patiently.

‘This arm,’ he continued, ‘it’s like a peace offering. It’s my olive branch. Because even though I feel like I’m being stabbed whenever I think about him too much, I ...’ Tony took a deep breath and then finally looked at you. ‘The guy just wants to start over. And it hurts when I think about how much I wanted to kill him when I found out. So the arm is a non-verbal conversation that lets him start over and helps me move on.’

You nodded understandingly. ‘I think it’s really cool that you’re letting him have that luxury.’

‘What luxury?’

‘Well, maybe you’re not friends yet,’ you said, ‘but having Tony Stark mad at you is pretty crappy. So I think it’s cool that you’re trying.’

Tony looked like he was going to respond but his eyes darted to something behind you.

‘Cap’s back,’ he said, standing up and draining his coffee. ‘Let’s get this done.’

 You helped Bruce set up the operating table in the lab next door and jumped when you heard the door open. 

To your surprise, Barnes was alone; you expected Steve to be with him acting as his twenty-four hour security guard. Then you noticed Steve and, to your pleasant surprise, Tony standing next to each other looking through the observation window.

Barnes was wearing a muscle t-shirt and sweats; his hair was loose around his face, eyes seemingly calm at first but suspicious when you focused on them. He nodded and smiled at Bruce nervously in acknowledgement, right hand rubbing the back of his neck. The remnants of his old left shoulder was partially covered with a black cap made out of what you recognised as Kevlar. You could see scars littering the seam where skin had once met metal.

And then Barnes looked at you and his demeanour seemed to strengthen like he was mentally building walls around himself. 

You held your hand out for him to shake. ‘I’m [Y/N], I’ll be attaching your arm and making sure it works this time,’ you said smoothly.

Your ice-breaker seemed to work. 

Barnes gave you the same smile he had given Bruce. ‘Bucky,’ he said. 

‘Tony told me about the second prosthetic,’ you said as Bucky climbed onto the operating table. ‘I promise that I’m one hundred per cent pretty sure that the one I built won’t suck.’

‘Well that’s all I can ever hope for.’

You chuckled at his wit. ‘I don’t mean to sound so forward, but your shirt needs to be not on you.’

Bucky nodded and pulled his shirt of easily with his hand (you figured that he had practice) and placed it on a nearby bench. There were one or two bruises on his chest (you may have been distracted by actually seeing his chest to be sure) and a shallow scar across his left pectoral (or was it his right? Again, Bucky Barnes had a very distracting chest).

He also removed the Kevlar cap that covered his left upper arm. 

‘It’s kind of a mess,’ he said nervously as he exposed the flesh of his shoulder.

‘It’s okay, so’s my life, I get it,’ you responded with a twisted self-deprecating smile. 

That seemed to ease him. 

‘Okay, so I’m not a medic and I know you’ve just met me but I’m a pretty decent engineer and I had some training from Wakandan experts so I promise that I know what I’m doing,’ you said with certainty. ‘I promise that your new arm won’t suck.’

Bucky chuckled and leaned back in his seat, allowing Bruce to place the mask that would supply the anesthesia over his nose and mouth. 

Bucky didn’t take his eyes off of you until they fluttered closed. 

You didn’t see Bucky for a while after the operation. But you heard from Steve that his new arm was working fine, after testing it out by hitting it with his shield repeatedly. 

‘So how’s he doing?’ you asked Steve one day, the two of you getting an early breakfast. 

‘He’s doing okay,’ Steve replied. ‘Better than I thought which is good, I didn’t want him alone. Sam keeps him on his feet too.’

You smirked. ‘Yeah, I’ve heard. I want those two to live together alone one day.’

Steve took another sip of coffee. ‘That wouldn’t end well at all.’

You rolled your eyes. ‘They’d both live, Rogers, calm your inner mother.’

‘No, I know they’d live, I’m just worried about ... anyone and everyone around them.’

You laughed heartily and turned the burner off, bringing yours and Steve’s omelettes to the table. ‘So Bucky seemed really calm when I was with him,’ you said. 

‘I noticed,’ Steve replied. ‘It’s refreshing seeing him like that.’

‘Is he okay here generally?’ you asked. ‘He was alone for a while, all of this must be unfamiliar territory.’

Steve nodded. ‘He sticks to smaller groups ... I think it helps when people don’t walk on eggshells around him, treat him like a charity case, y’know?’

You nodded. ‘Bucky’s been through a lot but I wouldn’t think treating him like a victim or a murderer is something he would want.’

Steve finished his coffee. ‘How’s your first week here? Tony not bothering you?’

‘Oh I have an extensive list on ways to kill Tony Stark kept safe,’ you winked, ‘but everything’s fine so I’ll let him live.’

‘How generous of you.’

‘Now if you’ll excuse me, I have certain upgrades to make to his suit.’

Steve laughed at the evil smirk you were sporting.

‘You wind him up and we all suffer the consequences!’ he called out to you as you scampered out of the kitchen.

‘Good luck, Rogers, Stark’s gonna be launching spaghetti out of his thrusters during his test run this afternoon!’

Originally I had split this into two parts, but I figured that there wasn’t enough action in each for them to be stand-alone chapters. 

[lindafrancois]

How to Get Started With Bodyweight Training Today!

Today you take your first steps towards becoming a ninja/Jedi/assassin/superhero, without needing to step foot in a gym.

Think it’s impossible?

Well, check out our friend Jimmy above, who transformed himself by just focusing on bodyweight training in his home.

No gym? No problem! Let our coaches build a home routine for you.

Have no fear, as long as you have a body, we’ll get you started with bodyweight training.

If you’re a ghost, this just got awkward. 

Here’s what we’ll cover in our guide:

What is bodyweight training?

Is bodyweight training better than weight machines?

Where should I perform bodyweight exercises?

How to progress with bodyweight training.

Can you build muscle with only a bodyweight workout?

How to get started with bodyweight training.

Let’s jump right in!

What Is Bodyweight Training?

“Use your body to improve your body.” – Something some zen master said at some point probably

Bodyweight training means doing any exercise that leverages your own bodyweight to build strength and muscle, burn fat, and become more resilient. Now, you might think that’s just basic stuff like push-ups and squats. Those things ARE bodyweight movements, and absolutely crucial to building a healthy foundation.

Hidden in plain sight however, your own body’s weight is actually a complete training system waiting to be used. +5 points to Gryffindor for you being a complete training system.

You can use your body’s weight as a centerpiece in your training routine for decades to come, like me:

  View this post on Instagram

  A post shared by Steve Kamb (@stevekamb) on Sep 28, 2016 at 9:51am PDT

Coach Jim also centers his workouts around bodyweight training:

You can also use a bodyweight workout to build a foundational strength before you move to barbell workouts, or mix in some bodyweight training to complement your yoga/swimming/running/dancing/international jewel thievery. Today, we’ll take you through exactly how to get started.

The best part: since bodyweight training scales in difficulty and has plenty of variety, it truly can be used from Level 1 to Level 50.

Is Bodyweight Training Better Than Weight Machines?

Your body is a complex piece of machinery that has been fine-tuned over thousands of generations. Think of yourself as Human Ver. 100000000.0.0.1. We’ve been doing “bodyweight training” as a species since our days as cavemen and cavewomen – except back then it wasn’t called training, it was called “life” and there was no spandex:

Things like:

Sitting in a deep squat around a campfire with our tribe.

Crawling under and over things as we encountered obstacles in nature.

Pulling ourselves up into a tree or over a cliff to escape danger.

Pushing ourselves up onto a ledge or platform to get a better view.

Swinging from vine to vine as King of the Jungle. (Okay maybe not this one).

Because we’ve had to adapt to do all of those things to survive, our bodies LOVE the idea of working with all of our muscles and bones and joints in unison to accomplish movements or overcome obstacles. If you’ve ever heard the term “Functional Fitness,” that’s what we’re talking about here.

It’s the reason we rage against the machines in the gym – cue “Bulls on Parade” – they often create imbalances and other weird problems through isolation and non-functional movement.

Think of it this way: Cavemen didn’t pick up various rocks to isolate their triceps muscles or do “curlz for the cavegurlz.” And they certainly didn’t lie on a bench at a 30-degree angle while doing log presses to emphasize their upper pectoral muscles before going to kill a gazelle.

Instead, men and women did whatever they needed to do in order to survive — and their bodies adapted as a result.

If you’ve been reading Nerd Fitness for a while, you know I’m a fan of this quote from the trainer of the actors in the movie 300: “Appearance is a consequence of fitness.”

Bodyweight exercises tap into our full, natural anatomy. Movements like squats, push-ups, pull-ups, dips, and rows are compound exercises that recruit all the muscles in our body and teach them to work in unison.

When you do bodyweight training, your body becomes more efficient working as a unified organism: all of your muscles, tendons, joints, and bones get strong as hell together — and safely.

Plus, you get to master your body like a freaking Jedi.

We know that strength training — with your bodyweight or with free weights — also happens to burn plenty of calories and builds muscle and strength. So it doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, young or old — bodyweight strength training can help you build a body that looks good and feels good. In fact, as you get older one of the best ways to feel young is to stay strong! Just ask our older rebels.

Period. Exclamation point! Loud noises!

Where Should I Perform Bodyweight Exercises

Bodyweight training can be done ANYWHERE.

Read that sentence one more time. Crap, there goes that excuse for not exercising! You always have your body with you, which means you always have the ability to exercise, even if it’s just for a few reps here and there.

You can always improve yourself physically. Anytime. Anywhere. Whether you’re:

Traveling around the world

Hunkered down in a bunker during the zombie apocalypse

Stuck in a cubicle

Living in a hotel

Training in your living room

Near a playground

On Mars. Once Elon Musk sends me there.

Seriously, right now you can just drop down and do some (knee/wall) push-ups.

I’ll wait.

You didn’t do them, did you?! You sandbaggin’ son of a biscuit… you SAILOR you.

Even if you DIDN’T do them, you weren’t completely overwhelmed at the idea of doing a few reps!

My point is this: You don’t need access to a gym to get in great shape. You simply need to know a few moves — which we’ll teach you below — and you can train anywhere.

How to Progress with Bodyweight Training

Although bodyweight exercises are a bit tougher to visualize as a scalable activity compared to weight lifting (where you just put more weight on the bar), with just a little bit knowledge bodyweight training is like improving a particular skill tree in video games.

For example, in the push-up you might start on your knees:

Or with your hands on an elevated surface:

Over time, by slowly adjusting the angle you are manipulating your bodyweight, you can effectively change the difficulty of an exercise to make it more challenging. With a tougher angle, you have to move a higher percentage of your bodyweight, and thus more strength is needed!

I guarantee you can train with just your bodyweight for the next 20 years and you will not reach a “MAX LEVEL” screen.

Here’s what an oversimplified progression tree for the squat might look like:

#1) Assisted Bodyweight Squat

#2) Bodyweight Squat

#3) Assisted One Leg Squat

#4) One Leg Squat

Show me somebody that has advanced to the end of one or more bodyweight skill trees, and I’ll show you somebody that is in peak physical condition (and looks damn good too!).

Once you learn the progressions, it’s just like adding points to a skill tree or leveling up a skill to unlock the next one in a video game. You start at the base exercise, get stronger and better, and then rank up when that movement becomes too easy. Gamification ftw.

There’s always a new skill to work on, a new challenging variation, the next level in the skill you’re working on.

Can You Build Muscle With Only a Bodyweight Workout?

Bodyweight training can help you build a great physique. 

If you’re like me (and the other 7.2 billion people on the planet), you might look at gymnasts or see what Coach Jim is doing in that photo above and say “holy crap I wish I had a body like that” or “dang, would be cool to do that, but not me.”

If you happen to be somebody who is stockier or heavier, you might look at a bodyweight-training-Jedi and say “I can’t train like them, because I’m not built like them. I need to lose weight first before trying to those things”

You’ve got it backwards.

They look like they do precisely because they train like that!

In fact, we have TONS of success stories from people in our community, male and female who have transformed thanks to bodyweight training. Yours truly included!

Some people use the training to slim WAY down, others like me, use it to pack some muscle on (click on each photo for the story!):

Now, not only do ninja/assassin/gymnasts look good, they can also do some pretty cool party tricks – like Jim doing one-arm handstands:

I don’t think I’ll be doing handstands on stacked chairs anytime soon, or busting out one-handed handstands, but it’s amazing to know what our bodies are capable of when we train them with conviction and follow the right progressions!

If you’re somebody who scrolls through Instagram far too often (like me!), use motivation properly and follow people that inspire you to be stronger, fitter, and better.

May I suggest:

Mats Trane: 57 years young!

Andrii Bodarenko: your jaw will drop.

Madeleine Leander – Starcraft 2 champion with a Ph.D. in math who has mastered the muscle-up!

Jennifer Tavernier – Dang!

Nerd_Fitness – hey that’s us! You’ll definitely want to follow us this month.

Jim Bathurst – Master of the Training Universe at Nerd Fitness

Staci Ardison – Ring enthusiast, deadlift addict at Nerd Fitness

Steve Kamb (me!) – all around goofball working on becoming a monkey-ninja-assassin-gymnast-Jedi.

How to Get Started With Bodyweight Training

At this point, you’re most likely nodding your head at your computer and saying “okay fine Steve I get it, I’m going to make bodyweight training a focal point of my workouts!”

Seriously, I can see you. You look nice today, and those shoes go great with that shirt.

But you might think you’re too overweight or too old or too [something] and that’s all nonsense. Hogwash. Poppycock. Balderdash.

Here’s that 57-year-old gymnast again, who is in better shape than 99% of people 25 years younger:

  View this post on Instagram

  A post shared by Mats Trane -57/yo 🇸🇪 (@matstrane) on Jun 29, 2016 at 8:56am PDT

If you’re brand new to Nerd Fitness, we recommend you get started with the Nerd Fitness Beginner Bodyweight Workout. Read the article, and watch the video below, featuring me about 30 pounds lighter and with helmet hair:

(Fun fact, this is our most viewed video on Youtube at 1,400,000 views, and my shorts are on backwards. Professionalism at its finest!)

If you’re feeling particularly feisty, check out our Advanced Bodyweight Workout too:

Whether you go through those workouts or not, I have a mission for you!

I want you to master these three moves:

#1) The Push-up

#2) The Squat

#3) The Pull-up

or Bodyweight Row:

If you can do a workout with 3 sets of 10 push-ups, 3 sets of 20 bodyweight squats, and 3 sets of 5 pull-ups, you will be in better shape than 95% of your peers.

That should get you well on your way to becoming a badass version of you.

Now the only thing left to do is start!

If you want some help getting going…

Here are some options for next steps with Nerd Fitness: 

Option #1) If you want a professional coach in your pocket, who can do video form checks, provide feedback, and adjust your workouts based on the equipment you have available, check out our 1-on-1 Online Coaching Program! 

For example, let’s say you find yourself stuck indoors during a pandemic, and you want somebody to custom-build you a workout program based on the equipment and furniture you have. That’s where an online coach is a game-changer! 

Personally, I’ve been working with the same online coach since 2015 and it’s changed my life. You can learn more by clicking on the box below: 

Our coaching program changes lives. Learn how!

2) Exercising at home and need a plan to follow? Have questions you need answered? Join Nerd Fitness Prime!

Nerd Fitness Prime is our premium membership program that contains at-home exercise routines, live-streamed workouts with NF Coaches, a supportive online community, group challenges, and much more! 

Option #3) Become part of the Rebellion! We need good people like you in our community, the Nerd Fitness Rebellion.

Sign up in the box below to enlist and get our Rebel Starter Kit, which includes all of our “work out from home” guides.

Get your Nerd Fitness Starter Kit

The 15 mistakes you don’t want to make.

Full guide to the most effective diet and why it works.

Complete and track your first workout today, no gym required.

Alright, now it’s your turn. Answer me this:

What is the BIGGEST thing holding you back currently from getting started with bodyweight training?

What’s one reason you are going to add bodyweight training to your routines this month?

Leave your comments and questions below and we’ll do our best to answer them.

-Steve

PS: If you want more ideas on how to get started, make sure you check out The 42 Best Bodyweight Exercises!

###

Photo: Leg0Fenris:Lego Pushup, Exile: Pull-Up Bar

Gif Source: Chest Press

How to Get Started With Bodyweight Training Today! published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/

[renatedagmarmilada]

who ever is on the machine now is pressing my inner artery right leg and left lung. They have signature torture of their own which I recognise after a while. What ANNA decided was /well the banned psychiatrist Mark who has been running this/ for taking my work and using it as their own creations, they had to put all illnesses on me that they have, as ANNA was very annoyed to find that we were very healthy.. -you people have straight legs, straight etc etc.. /??/ and were lo...

lab is concentrating on putting as much of Fekete's work into the brains of those who are cancerous and will activate in a decade - Anna jun sec Min of Health wishes EVERYONE in the country to use some of Fekete's work, to make it the largest phase out ever, and so that her staff cannot be sued or blamed for NEGLIGENCE as she is incapable of running a lab or anything else and got her positions by other means, meritocracy means nothing to the people at the Ministries anymore -// - at death, what is left of my work will be returned to me, but too late to use it..

It is called a phase out from life,/actually fraud, larcony and manslaughter/ the lab members and their families take over all that was mine, and in that way destroy me, called mirroring. Destruction and reduction therapy it is called, my poetry, my stories, my paintings, my works etc so they have brought in all their illeg children to the lab to become the Managers there in two years,that way no one will check what murders their father had committed... and it continues in the same old way-Palin was on the machine, as were other stars of the TV- one tv personality said: now I wonder each day if I am to die of cancer as so many have and are doing..

john Fielding /board of st barths Hospt/ had my lap top stolen and has now stolen it from the thieves, and took the hard drive out, so Fay Fielding could write our lives, every word, every letter, every picture ---I KNOW IT IS SICK BUT WOULDN'T THEY HONESTLY BE BETTER WRITING UP JEWISH LIVES-- I know Jews in USA etc who had most interesting lives, met interesting people--- we are quiet artisans and farmers. never grand, never over the top...

every illeg child of Harry Irwin and Blanche and Mr Meyer 35 at the lab being trained as future managers, has to dub remote or cause all people in Fekete's lives to say nasty things about her -involuntary actions.

Using illegal remote new technology by britain's silent killers at lab st barths Hum Res--we created respiratory problems for Fekete by pressing her lungs with the beam /mainly one Pakistani operatives, because many of them smoke heavily-I dont smoke but he wanted to repeat that..Each one was to damage some part of my physic and cause me difficulties remote-/ pressed to severe pain point time and again over the years.Now the cheats, killers and thieves illeg children of Dr h...

The Russians are on the link now-boy there said: they stripped people in Russia like the lab jews are stripping Fekete ---- but not quite as badly as that.. jews are greedy animals, we always knew that..

Ministry of Health was to blame. all the civil servants and Minister were all sleeping with ANNA then bossess of St barths Hum Res /the former boss Steve had also been her lover/ so they moved her to the Min of Health --and agreed to what she was doing to you and hundreds and thousands of others in the country-- and still do..

John Fielding board of st barths to keep him safe from law- killer when operative hum res. former Romford car sales man-- comes into the lab st barths hum Res daily-- for further investigations.. he is moving all your data, parents, all of you to his home. His daughter Faye Fielding, who gained her art MA by using your paintings, has written up all your poetry and essays, is now writing '' a novel'' let us not say HER NOVEL-- by using your life story loosely, and all on the data.. even your dad's life.. We know more about him than you do-- not enough she uses our work, she uses our lives to write about.. Anna jun sec Min of health, we will sell it for you.

quote - we do that in the mental homes, we hit them continuously till we can get them to do what we want.. but Fekete knew and went with it. lab thought Fekete would think the politicians were with her if we put on the macrosound in their names, but she didn't - knows about imprints etc. so far Rob Lockwood has been the meanest of them all, lived rent free when he didn't know where to go, then copied my stories and sent them to the BBC..

Really EYE OPENER for me---interesting fact someone has just put to me- several people who were friends have stopped being friends- saying: SHE / ME has problems..ok now, evidently IN ENGLAND THEY NEVER SAY -THE COUNTRY HAS PROBLEMS.. IT IS YOU THE VICTIM OF THE COUNTRY'S PROBLEMS WHO IS BLAMED FOR THE COUNTRY'S PROBLEMS.. I don't have any problems, I am quiet, work hard but pace it now I am older, paint well, write well, teach well, eat carefully, don't drink, don't smoke,...

English thinking- lab st barths is totally powerful in UK- when my english /actually a celt/ daughter in law got a second on her nursing degree and I got a first on my language degree, they swopped them round, because I am a foreigner and she was not!! we cannot have foreigners coming top in everything.. the lab said. It is not permitted to ask for check on marks, only for sexual harassment the office said- It was so bad in class, at times, though I am a mother speaker, they...

[beakmanfans-blog]

Our review of Mark S. Waxman's new novel, "The McVentures Of Me Morgan McFactoid: Hair Today Gone Tomorrow.

One of the unsung heroes of Beakman's World, is Mark S. Waxman. Not only did he once save Paul Zaloom's life, from being confinement in a snot tube. Mark co-wrote scripts, and was executive producer for the show. Slightly over a year ago his fist novel was released, it features a character very much like Beakman, however as a 13 year old boy, with red hair, and freckles. The new character Morgan (McFactoid) McCracken, is also similar to another show that Mark created called "Bailey Kipper's P.O.V." The book is called "The McVentures of Me, Morgan McFactoid: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow", about a young inventor that discovers a way to grow hair on almost anything. He deals with bullies, shaving and even, trying to flirt with the girl that lives across the street. But every time he gets flustered, or nervous, he randomly quotes science facts. I wrote a long review of the book, for Amazon, but also had several more thoughts about the book I'd like to share here, so, I hope anyone interested in Mark's book, will read both this, and the full review.

  This is a composite photograph of the various formats Mark S. Waxman's new book was released on. Besides these there is also the E-book version. Hopefully there is a way to translate the E-book version into other languages, but if not, we hope that it will be translated, and released in other countries also. He we look at the hardback version of the book, and the audio book version on MP3 CD, it is also released in a Audible format, but is actually more expensive through Audible. In the image you can see the cover art, of the book, as well as the design of the audio case. Seen in the blurb flap of the book, is a photograph on Mark S. Waxman, and a view of the book without its dust cover. The book is 183 pages in length, or about 4 hours and 25 minutes in unabridged audio. The book was first released in Hardcover on January 12, 2016, then as a Audible audio book version January 18, 2016, and on September 13, 2016 on Unabridged MP3 CD. It is a very humorous story, about silly situations a child can get into when he tries to find creative solutions to everyday problems.

#BeakmansWorld #Writer #ExecutiveProducer #MarkWaxman #ChildrensNovel #TheMcVenturesOfMeMorganMcFactoid #MorganMcCracken #MorganMcFactoid #HairTodayGoneTomorrow #HardcoverBook #AudioBook #Audible #BaileyKippersPOV #TheYoungandTheRestless #MacysThanksgivingDayParade # TheCarolBurnettShow #MacVenture #BackToTheFuture #CloudyWithAChanceOfMeatballs #GetSmart #99 #MaxwellSmart #EncyclopediaBrownBoyDetective #TheBloodhoundGang #321Contact #PunkyBrewster #CrankTechOneDestruction #ColinRParsons #DoctorWho

"Teary Eyes" Anderson's, review of "The McVentures of Me, Morgan McFactoid: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow" written by Mark S. Waxman * https://www.amazon.com/review/R3BN6GWVLBX49S

Morgan lives with his family in Carlsbad, California. He just recently moved there, he has a adopted older sister, many pets, and his grandpa a retired barber. His mom is a book keeper, and his dad was a maintenance engineer at a local television station, but he recently got laid off. Morgan has a laboratory he named "The McFactory", which is in the attic of his garage. It is similar to Beakman's "Information Center". Morgan lab has a map of the world painted on the floor, and a periodic table of elements on the roof. While in Beakman's lab, both are on the floor {maybe he watches Beakman's World"}. In Morgan's room, he painted a glow in the dark copy of the controls of the NASA Space Shuttle orbiter.

When the story begins he is teased by a group of bullies about how he can grow facial hair, and then he is chased home from school. The bully gets within spitting distance of catching Morgan, this is explained by Morgan mentioning how the bully actually spits on his backpack. He avoids being pummeled, but the intervention from the girl across the street, which he secretly has a crush on, but with whom he has never spoken. Robin distracts the bully as Morgan makes his escape. From that point onward they become distant friends, but not until there is a terrible storm, do they ever visit each other. She then learns about his experiments, and they discover that one of his projects actually worked, {sort of}. Morgan wanted to find a way to prevent hair from growing, and accidentally finds a way to grow hair, with a special formula.

But instead of solving his problems, it only adds to his difficulties. He is then harassed by people wanting to buy his invention, he of course wants to share the wealth with the cute girl, he has adopted as his partner, but she wishes to stay away from the celebrity, part of the discovery, and wants him to take full credit, for his invention. Through danger, and a hairy bully, they eventually get kidnapped. And they rescue each other. In the end, he has to decide what is more important to him and his family. Along the way he learns what the true meaning of friendship is, and that popularity, and money are just passing phases of life. The audio book version of the book, sadly is not read by the author, or the actors from Beakman's World, or even from the show "Bailey Kipper's P.O.V.", but instead narrated by a reader named Brian Hatch. However he does do various voices for the different characters, my favorite part of the audio version, is when he says the words "Poop, poop, poop" in a parrot voice.

Some of the cool facts that Morgan mentions were also featured in "Beakman's World" here are some of the facts that appeared both in the book, and the show.

Beakman's World facts; 1. Why a aircraft carrier float,and a nail sinks. 2. How much spit is produced by a person in a lifetime 3. The name of the "philtrum", that dip above your upper lip.

The book is creativity written, and the scientific facts scattered through the book, are little drops of wisdom sprinkled throughout the book, giving the unluckily events, and inventions, a credibility. Mark Waxman is known for his scientific, and humorous writing, and his organizational skills as Executive Producer, so it is interesting to think that he wrote this, and earlier in his career he wrote for "The Young and the Restless" soap opera television show. Besides the previously mentioned inspirations for this book, it also seems to have influences from other shows, and films like "Back to the Future", with the bully, and the occasional mention of a dance that everyone is preparing for, in this book it is the "Valentine's Day Dance". The silly inventions of Doc Brown, are similar to Morgan wanting to make a machine that can record dreams, spring shoes, pants that turn into a chair, and inflatable dart board.

Throughout the book Robin and Morgan have fact competitions, which usually end with Morgan saying something that could be miss interpreted, and her getting upset with him because he cannot see past her prettiness. {On "The Carol Burnett Show" there was once a scene with two fact finding enthusiasts enjoying a romantic competition, while on a date.} Morgan's relationship to Robin is similar to the wacky scientist from the films, and soon to be TV series, called "Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs". With Echo the parrot, being a more interesting character then Steve the Monkey in "Cloudy", both stories also have a side story about a flash card. The romantic feelings of Morgan, for Robin, in a way are comparable to the relationships of the characters from the TV show "Get Smart" with the roles reversed. In "Get Smart" the female known only as 99 yearns for Max, but he doesn't notice. Robin like the character of 99, is always trying to help him solve his problems, but getting into danger because of him. Another comparison of their relationship near the end of the book would be the relationship between Encyclopedia Brown, and his partner Sally Kimball, from the books, and television series "Encyclopedia Brown, Boy Detective", named Encyclopedia because of all the knowledge he enjoyed sharing as often as he could. The way the book ends, Morgan's McVentures could continue, and he could create new, and even stranger inventions, with or without his new friend/partner. It could also turn into a adventure/mystery, book series, or television show similar to those already mentioned, and join shows like "The Bloodhound Gang" from the program "3-2-1 Contact" as science fact/fantasy adventure series. Sadly many of them last more then one season on television, and seem to rarely be available to buy on DVD. Both "Beakman's World", and "Bailey Kipper's P.O.V." have yet to be officially available on DVD with entire episodes.

If you like this book, you might also like the comic strip "You Can With Beakman and Jax" by Jok Church, several of its comics were collected into three books, during the first few years of the comicstrips history. The comic strip "Lio" by Mark Tatulli about a scientific boy that doesn't speak {at least in the comics}, and "Punky Brewster", the television show, and cartoon series about a young wise-cracking adopted girl, that lives with a foster parent. The star of the show Soleil Moon Frye, made a appearance at the "Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade" on November 22 1984, singing "Swinging On A Star", on a float shaped like a ambulance, with clowns dressed as doctors. Over two decades later, the book's author, Mark Waxman would write the ""Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade" from 2007, until the most recent version in 2016. If you like the audio version of this book, you may also like the audio book version of "Crank Tech One: Destruction", by Colin R. Parsons. It is a story about a writer/school lecturer named Tim Bailey, {no relation to the "Bailey Kipper"} buying a prop robot, and finding that it is a real robot. Lots of chases, danger, the bad guys trying to catch the good guys, and then the women have to come and save them. Despite its cover image, it is a very humorous story full of wonder, and a love letter to Sci-Fi fans, of the Doctor Who style.

Mark S. Waxman's Offical website * https://markswaxman.wordpress.com/

Mark Waxman, Internet Movie Database * http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0915397/

Here is a link to a similar adventure/sci-fi/fantasy audio book, but with a evil scientist, and the female characters rescuing the guys. Despite its cover image, it is a very humorous story full of wonder, and a love letter to Sci-Fi fans, of the Doctor Who style.

Crank Tech One: Destruction, by Colin R. Parsons, audio book by In Ear Entertainment. * https://www.inearentertainment.com/shop/crank-tech-one

[lindafrancois]

How to Get Started With Bodyweight Training Today!

Today you take your first steps towards becoming a ninja/Jedi/assassin/superhero, without needing to step foot in a gym.

Think it’s impossible?

Well, check out our friend Jimmy above, who transformed himself by just focusing on bodyweight training in his home.

No gym? No problem! Let our coaches build a home routine for you.

Have no fear, as long as you have a body, we’ll get you started with bodyweight training.

If you’re a ghost, this just got awkward. 

Here’s what we’ll cover in our guide:

What is bodyweight training?

Is bodyweight training better than weight machines?

Where should I perform bodyweight exercises?

How to progress with bodyweight training.

Can you build muscle with only a bodyweight workout?

How to get started with bodyweight training.

Let’s jump right in!

What Is Bodyweight Training?

“Use your body to improve your body.” – Something some zen master said at some point probably

Bodyweight training means doing any exercise that leverages your own bodyweight to build strength and muscle, burn fat, and become more resilient. Now, you might think that’s just basic stuff like push-ups and squats. Those things ARE bodyweight movements, and absolutely crucial to building a healthy foundation.

Hidden in plain sight however, your own body’s weight is actually a complete training system waiting to be used. +5 points to Gryffindor for you being a complete training system.

You can use your body’s weight as a centerpiece in your training routine for decades to come, like me:

  View this post on Instagram

  A post shared by Steve Kamb (@stevekamb) on Sep 28, 2016 at 9:51am PDT

Coach Jim also centers his workouts around bodyweight training:

You can also use a bodyweight workout to build a foundational strength before you move to barbell workouts, or mix in some bodyweight training to complement your yoga/swimming/running/dancing/international jewel thievery. Today, we’ll take you through exactly how to get started.

The best part: since bodyweight training scales in difficulty and has plenty of variety, it truly can be used from Level 1 to Level 50.

Is Bodyweight Training Better Than Weight Machines?

Your body is a complex piece of machinery that has been fine-tuned over thousands of generations. Think of yourself as Human Ver. 100000000.0.0.1. We’ve been doing “bodyweight training” as a species since our days as cavemen and cavewomen – except back then it wasn’t called training, it was called “life” and there was no spandex:

Things like:

Sitting in a deep squat around a campfire with our tribe.

Crawling under and over things as we encountered obstacles in nature.

Pulling ourselves up into a tree or over a cliff to escape danger.

Pushing ourselves up onto a ledge or platform to get a better view.

Swinging from vine to vine as King of the Jungle. (Okay maybe not this one).

Because we’ve had to adapt to do all of those things to survive, our bodies LOVE the idea of working with all of our muscles and bones and joints in unison to accomplish movements or overcome obstacles. If you’ve ever heard the term “Functional Fitness,” that’s what we’re talking about here.

It’s the reason we rage against the machines in the gym – cue “Bulls on Parade” – they often create imbalances and other weird problems through isolation and non-functional movement.

Think of it this way: Cavemen didn’t pick up various rocks to isolate their triceps muscles or do “curlz for the cavegurlz.” And they certainly didn’t lie on a bench at a 30-degree angle while doing log presses to emphasize their upper pectoral muscles before going to kill a gazelle.

Instead, men and women did whatever they needed to do in order to survive — and their bodies adapted as a result.

If you’ve been reading Nerd Fitness for a while, you know I’m a fan of this quote from the trainer of the actors in the movie 300: “Appearance is a consequence of fitness.”

Bodyweight exercises tap into our full, natural anatomy. Movements like squats, push-ups, pull-ups, dips, and rows are compound exercises that recruit all the muscles in our body and teach them to work in unison.

When you do bodyweight training, your body becomes more efficient working as a unified organism: all of your muscles, tendons, joints, and bones get strong as hell together — and safely.

Plus, you get to master your body like a freaking Jedi.

We know that strength training — with your bodyweight or with free weights — also happens to burn plenty of calories and builds muscle and strength. So it doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, young or old — bodyweight strength training can help you build a body that looks good and feels good. In fact, as you get older one of the best ways to feel young is to stay strong! Just ask our older rebels.

Period. Exclamation point! Loud noises!

Where Should I Perform Bodyweight Exercises

Bodyweight training can be done ANYWHERE.

Read that sentence one more time. Crap, there goes that excuse for not exercising! You always have your body with you, which means you always have the ability to exercise, even if it’s just for a few reps here and there.

You can always improve yourself physically. Anytime. Anywhere. Whether you’re:

Traveling around the world

Hunkered down in a bunker during the zombie apocalypse

Stuck in a cubicle

Living in a hotel

Training in your living room

Near a playground

On Mars. Once Elon Musk sends me there.

Seriously, right now you can just drop down and do some (knee/wall) push-ups.

I’ll wait.

You didn’t do them, did you?! You sandbaggin’ son of a biscuit… you SAILOR you.

Even if you DIDN’T do them, you weren’t completely overwhelmed at the idea of doing a few reps!

My point is this: You don’t need access to a gym to get in great shape. You simply need to know a few moves — which we’ll teach you below — and you can train anywhere.

How to Progress with Bodyweight Training

Although bodyweight exercises are a bit tougher to visualize as a scalable activity compared to weight lifting (where you just put more weight on the bar), with just a little bit knowledge bodyweight training is like improving a particular skill tree in video games.

For example, in the push-up you might start on your knees:

Or with your hands on an elevated surface:

Over time, by slowly adjusting the angle you are manipulating your bodyweight, you can effectively change the difficulty of an exercise to make it more challenging. With a tougher angle, you have to move a higher percentage of your bodyweight, and thus more strength is needed!

I guarantee you can train with just your bodyweight for the next 20 years and you will not reach a “MAX LEVEL” screen.

Here’s what an oversimplified progression tree for the squat might look like:

#1) Assisted Bodyweight Squat

#2) Bodyweight Squat

#3) Assisted One Leg Squat

#4) One Leg Squat

Show me somebody that has advanced to the end of one or more bodyweight skill trees, and I’ll show you somebody that is in peak physical condition (and looks damn good too!).

Once you learn the progressions, it’s just like adding points to a skill tree or leveling up a skill to unlock the next one in a video game. You start at the base exercise, get stronger and better, and then rank up when that movement becomes too easy. Gamification ftw.

There’s always a new skill to work on, a new challenging variation, the next level in the skill you’re working on.

Can You Build Muscle With Only a Bodyweight Workout?

Bodyweight training can help you build a great physique. 

If you’re like me (and the other 7.2 billion people on the planet), you might look at gymnasts or see what Coach Jim is doing in that photo above and say “holy crap I wish I had a body like that” or “dang, would be cool to do that, but not me.”

If you happen to be somebody who is stockier or heavier, you might look at a bodyweight-training-Jedi and say “I can’t train like them, because I’m not built like them. I need to lose weight first before trying to those things”

You’ve got it backwards.

They look like they do precisely because they train like that!

In fact, we have TONS of success stories from people in our community, male and female who have transformed thanks to bodyweight training. Yours truly included!

Some people use the training to slim WAY down, others like me, use it to pack some muscle on (click on each photo for the story!):

Now, not only do ninja/assassin/gymnasts look good, they can also do some pretty cool party tricks – like Jim doing one-arm handstands:

I don’t think I’ll be doing handstands on stacked chairs anytime soon, or busting out one-handed handstands, but it’s amazing to know what our bodies are capable of when we train them with conviction and follow the right progressions!

If you’re somebody who scrolls through Instagram far too often (like me!), use motivation properly and follow people that inspire you to be stronger, fitter, and better.

May I suggest:

Mats Trane: 57 years young!

Andrii Bodarenko: your jaw will drop.

Madeleine Leander – Starcraft 2 champion with a Ph.D. in math who has mastered the muscle-up!

Jennifer Tavernier – Dang!

Nerd_Fitness – hey that’s us! You’ll definitely want to follow us this month.

Jim Bathurst – Master of the Training Universe at Nerd Fitness

Staci Ardison – Ring enthusiast, deadlift addict at Nerd Fitness

Steve Kamb (me!) – all around goofball working on becoming a monkey-ninja-assassin-gymnast-Jedi.

How to Get Started With Bodyweight Training

At this point, you’re most likely nodding your head at your computer and saying “okay fine Steve I get it, I’m going to make bodyweight training a focal point of my workouts!”

Seriously, I can see you. You look nice today, and those shoes go great with that shirt.

But you might think you’re too overweight or too old or too [something] and that’s all nonsense. Hogwash. Poppycock. Balderdash.

Here’s that 57-year-old gymnast again, who is in better shape than 99% of people 25 years younger:

  View this post on Instagram

  A post shared by Mats Trane -57/yo 🇸🇪 (@matstrane) on Jun 29, 2016 at 8:56am PDT

If you’re brand new to Nerd Fitness, we recommend you get started with the Nerd Fitness Beginner Bodyweight Workout. Read the article, and watch the video below, featuring me about 30 pounds lighter and with helmet hair:

(Fun fact, this is our most viewed video on Youtube at 1,400,000 views, and my shorts are on backwards. Professionalism at its finest!)

If you’re feeling particularly feisty, check out our Advanced Bodyweight Workout too:

Whether you go through those workouts or not, I have a mission for you!

I want you to master these three moves:

#1) The Push-up

#2) The Squat

#3) The Pull-up

or Bodyweight Row:

If you can do a workout with 3 sets of 10 push-ups, 3 sets of 20 bodyweight squats, and 3 sets of 5 pull-ups, you will be in better shape than 95% of your peers.

That should get you well on your way to becoming a badass version of you.

Now the only thing left to do is start!

If you want some help getting going…

Here are some options for next steps with Nerd Fitness: 

Option #1) If you want a professional coach in your pocket, who can do video form checks, provide feedback, and adjust your workouts based on the equipment you have available, check out our 1-on-1 Online Coaching Program! 

For example, let’s say you find yourself stuck indoors during a pandemic, and you want somebody to custom-build you a workout program based on the equipment and furniture you have. That’s where an online coach is a game-changer! 

Personally, I’ve been working with the same online coach since 2015 and it’s changed my life. You can learn more by clicking on the box below: 

Our coaching program changes lives. Learn how!

2) Exercising at home and need a plan to follow? Have questions you need answered? Join Nerd Fitness Prime!

Nerd Fitness Prime is our premium membership program that contains at-home exercise routines, live-streamed workouts with NF Coaches, a supportive online community, group challenges, and much more! 

Option #3) Become part of the Rebellion! We need good people like you in our community, the Nerd Fitness Rebellion.

Sign up in the box below to enlist and get our Rebel Starter Kit, which includes all of our “work out from home” guides.

Get your Nerd Fitness Starter Kit

The 15 mistakes you don’t want to make.

Full guide to the most effective diet and why it works.

Complete and track your first workout today, no gym required.

Alright, now it’s your turn. Answer me this:

What is the BIGGEST thing holding you back currently from getting started with bodyweight training?

What’s one reason you are going to add bodyweight training to your routines this month?

Leave your comments and questions below and we’ll do our best to answer them.

-Steve

PS: If you want more ideas on how to get started, make sure you check out The 42 Best Bodyweight Exercises!

###

Photo: Leg0Fenris:Lego Pushup, Exile: Pull-Up Bar

Gif Source: Chest Press

How to Get Started With Bodyweight Training Today! published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/

[metawitches]

But First, A Brief, Non-Exhaustive Tour Through My Favorite Romantic Vampire Media

Though I have been writing reviews on this blog for more than three years, I have been keeping a dark secret from you, dear readers. I haven’t really been keeping the secret on purpose, but a lie of omission is still a lie, so please, try to forgive me. I don’t think this reveal will come as much of a shock to my regular readers.

The truth is, I have a deep, lifelong love of vampire romance. I’m open minded, and can consider other supernatural romances as well, but werewolves are so packminded that I question their devotion to their beloved. Ghosts seem so thin and superficial. Zombies are interested in brains, but I want more than just a relationship of the mind. Angels and demons both have to leave their beloveds in the lurch when they get called into service by the higher- and lower- powers they serve. A shapeshifter is an inconstant lover in so many ways, how could we ever develop trust?

There are exceptions: Oz from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The medieval ghosts of Lynn Kurland’s paranormal romance novels. The sentient zombies of In the Flesh. The married angel-demon couple from Midnight, Texas, another Charlaine Harris story. And no one is more trustworthy than True Blood’s own shapeshifter, Sam Merlotte.

As a general rule, witches and wizards are the only other supernatural beings I truly find exciting, with their wide range of abilities to charm or bewitch the pants off a girl, depending on the mood.

Since I’m a witch myself, and wizards are a dime a dozen, can you blame me for looking for a little more variety in my fantasy life?

Bring on the dark, brooding vampires, who are the epitome of devoted, romantic lovers, are immortal, manageably dangerous and adventurous, definitely where they’re supposed to be during the day, gorgeous and who can share their blood. Blood which, if used in small quantities, will heal without turning a human into a vampire, but which can also make the user immortal if desired, so they can share everlasting love with their vampire lover.

What could go wrong? Don’t answer that, we all need to discover some things for ourselves.

I admit, this is a hereditary issue for me. My mother and older sister sat me down in front of the Gothic soap opera Dark Shadows in 1966, when I was 5 years old, to watch the trials and tribulations of vampire Barnabas Collins, of the supernatural Collins family of Collinsport, Maine. Collinsport was a mysterious town on the cold, rocky shores of northern Maine, just like the small towns in coastal northern Maine my mother’s family lived in for 300 years, until my parents moved us to upstate NY.

With the amount of inbreeding that went on in the small early populations of northern New England, I wouldn’t be surprised if I share some relatives in common with Barnabas Collins. 😉 I certainly share the vampire’s love of night and inability to handle strong light.

(Yes, I live in sunny New Mexico, why do you ask? This is why hats, tinted glasses and long summers with warm nights were invented. True Blood is a sultry Southern Gothic for a reason. The Twilight vampires can keep their rain soaked, cold climates.)

I still have a copy with this original cover.

Dark Shadows ran for 6 seasons, through 1971. Then I moved on to films and book series, most notably Anne Rice. I received 2 copies of her book Interview with the Vampire for my 16th birthday, in 1977, because my friends and family knew me well, and I haven’t looked back since. Though the author clearly favors the character Lestat, tenderhearted Louis will always be my favorite of her vampires. He is, after all, the vampire who was interviewed.

There were other favorites through the years, such as the film The Lost Boys in 1987 and the Dark Shadows revival in 1991. There were viral vampires, such as The Strain and The Passage, descendants of Nosferatu rather than Dracula. It’s better not to mention viral vampires if you prefer your vampires to be romantic.

There was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, film and series. Who could resist Angel? He was so irresistible that David Boreanaz has starred in one TV series or another continuously ever since. I definitely resisted Spike, though I know others didn’t.

There was The Vampire Diaries on The CW, which ran for 8 seasons (2009-17) and spawned 2 spin off series, The Originals (2013-18) and Legacies (2018- ). The first 4 seasons of The Vampire Diaries were as good as any vampire media I’ve seen anywhere. I lost interest when the storylines were watered down by splitting the cast to create spin offs and some of my favorite actors left the franchise, but those vampires are obviously still doing it for others.

Over the years, Ann Rice has written more than a dozen books on vampires, plus more series on other supernaturals, some with her son, Christopher Rice. She managed to make a mummy sexy. Her original vampire trilogy was turned into two mediocre films. I also had a fling with Katie MacAlister’s Dark Ones book series in the 00s, a fun vampire soulmate series. Now I notice she’s added a few installments since I last checked in with it about 10 years ago so, yay! Something else to read over the winter.

The big vampire story of the 00s was Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight book series, which my kids and I shared the way I’d shared Dark Shadows with my family as a child. The Twilight films were terrible, terrible things. I recommend skipping them. But as with so much that’s perceived to be originally aimed at teenage girls, the Twilight books have been unfairly maligned. They are full of universal themes and vivid characters.

Bella is a great character for anyone to follow and she has a romance to die for. She does so much more than have a boyfriend and a baby in her books, but even if that’s all she did, it would be enough. Navigating personal relationships is a huge part of life, and for someone from a background of abuse and neglect, like Bella, learning how to have healthy relationships when you are older is a long term challenge.

If it takes a vampire family to show you what real love, care, equal relationships and decent parenting look like, there’s nothing wrong with that. There are very good reasons why Bella’s romance is not just with Edward, but with his entire clan. Because of her childhood experiences, she’s in love with the idea of transforming from a human who has difficulty defending herself against the human monsters in her world, who include her parents, into a vampire who can protect herself and her entire devoted vampire family from even the fiercest of supernatural monsters. After a youth full of struggle, she finds her own power and uses it on her own terms to win a war, in addition to conducting an epic vampire romance.

There was a last, forgotten, one and done vampire TV series of the 00s, Moonlight, on CBS, starring Alex O’Loughlin, who quickly went on to become better known as Steve McGarrett in the Hawaii Five-0 revival, and Jason Dohring of Veronica Mars. Moonlight aired during the 2007-08 season, so it was affected by the infamous, endless writers’ strike which killed more than 1 show that year. It was just hitting its stride when the season was cut short.

As a vampire romance noir which explored multiple historical time periods plus the present day, it was sadly ahead of its time for broadcast TV. Plus, though the show had already been completely recast after early sample filming (except for Alex O’Loughlin), the writing still focused too much on the relationship between O’Loughlin’s main vampire character, Mick St John, and the lead ingenue human female, Beth (Sophia Myles), rather than the much more interesting and complex relationship between Mick and his ancient, vampire, on again-off again wife and maker, Coraline (Shannyn Sossamon).

The show was course correcting in that direction when it ended after 16 episodes, an unusually short season in those days. I would be thrilled with a reboot of Moonlight that was done right. (It’s currently streaming on cwseed.com.)

Alas, the media deities rarely listen to my brilliant ideas, so we are subject to the slings and arrows and fangs of outrageous fortune. But just 4 short months after Moonlight went off the air, a new vampire romance rolled into town, and it wasn’t shy about telling us what it wanted. True Blood was the answer to all my vampire romance prayers.

Let’s Finally Review True Blood Season 1

True Blood aired on HBO for 7 seasons, for a total of 80 episodes, from the fall of 2008 to the summer of 2014. It’s based on the 13-14 book series The Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris. The TV series was created by Alan Ball, who was handpicked by Charlaine Harris because she felt he understood what she was trying to do with the books. He stayed on as showrunner for the first 5 seasons, which were all critically acclaimed.

The TV series stars Anna Paquin as Sookie Stackhouse, a telepathic waitress who lives in Bon Temps, a small town in rural Louisiana. Sookie sees her telepathy as a disability because she has a hard time turning it off, which makes it difficult to concentrate on anything else or to have normal human relationships. As a result, she’s socially isolated, other than a few close friends and her family- the warm, generous grandmother she lives with, Adele, known as Gran (Lois Smith), and her charming but selfish, promiscuous brother, Jason (Ryan Kwanten).

Sookie works at her friend Sam Merlotte’s bar and restaurant (Sam Trammell), where she’s also friends with much married fellow waitress Arlene (Carrie Preston) and fabulous short-order cook and hustler, Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis). Her best friend and Lafayette’s cousin, Tara (Rutina Wesley), begins working at Merlotte’s as a bartender at the beginning of the series. Most of the town passes through Merlotte’s at one time or another, since it’s a popular local hangout.

Sookie’s parents died in a flash flood when she was a child, but other than that and her telepathy, her life has been normal, even humdrum. Until vampires came out of the coffin a few years ago, as far as she knew there was nothing extraordinary about the world. She still has no idea why she’s psychic.

A synthetic blood which can sustain vampires, known by the brand name Tru Blood, has encouraged vampires to take the controversial step of revealing themselves as a species to humans. Amongst both vampires and humans, some have embraced this revelation and some fear what it will mean for the future. Sookie makes her very first vampire acquaintance, with the vampire Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer), when he stops by Merlotte’s to try a Tru Blood. Bill is attempting to mainstream, meaning he’s trying to blend in with humans as much as possible, rather than living the full vampire lifestyle, which naturally disregards human manners and customs. Normal vampire ways tend to alienate normal humans fairly quickly. They can even be deadly for humans.

Vampire blood can be used as a recreational drug, so there are dealers who capture vampires, drain their blood, then sell it. Sometimes they kill the vampire in the process. In the first episode, an unethical couple lure Bill into the parking lot to drain him, which Sookie overhears using her telepathic ability. Sookie is surprised to discover how easily some silver and the promise of a tasty snack can disarm a vampire. She rescues Bill and their relationship is born.

Due to the images her telepathy puts in her head, Sookie has never been able to date human men, so Bill is her first boyfriend. His main attraction is that she’s unable to read his mind. Perhaps because they are technically dead, vampire minds are a blank to her. For a telepath who’s always “on”, this is soothing.

True Blood season 1 is a Southern Gothic, paranormal, horror, mystery, romance, urban fantasy, much the same as the book it’s based on, Charlaine Harris’ Dead Until Dark. Though the subject matter is intense, the writing is relatively fast-paced and there’s a dark comedy element to it that keeps the horror aspect from becoming overwhelming. The show isn’t as light and breezy as the books; in addition to the book’s humor it uses visuals and a heightened reality to emphasize the outrageous nature of Sookie’s world. The characters frequently comment on that outrageousness and on the ironies taking place around them.

In season 1, there’s a serial killer on the loose who provides the season long mystery arc. The killer is after young women who’ve been with both vampires and human men. Since Sookie has a vampire boyfriend and is frequently around other men, she eventually becomes one of the targets.

The show’s theme song, Bad Things, by Jace Everett, perfectly encapsulates the mood of True Blood. It’s an upbeat country song that promises an out of control romance, which plays over the opening credit sequence of each episode. Humans and animals experiencing intense situations flash by, while names are superimposed over them. The activities in the visuals aren’t necessarily even immoral, they’re just filmed in a way that makes them feel creepy, until you aren’t sure anymore what’s actually bad and what’s just making you feel bad.

Like an insidious vampire who wants to have his way with us, the opening credits act to lower our boundaries and confuse us, so that we’re disoriented and easily taken out of our normal lives. Whether we’re being glamoured, romanced, drugged or conned, the first step is to convince us to leave our previous concept of normal behind.

The first year I watched True Blood, I thought the opening sequence was the grossest, most horrible opening credits sequence ever made. Now I love it and think it’s one of the best. Is that a good development or a bad one? *shrug* I still can’t watch the maggots though. The vampires haven’t completely taken me over.

True Blood continues to lower our defenses and push our boundaries once the opening credits end. Vampires and shapeshifters are welcomed into normal society. They take part in panels on CNN, discussing legal changes which have been proposed to help or hinder their assimilation. They stop at the 7-11 to pick up a 6 pack on their way home. They have difficulty getting a contractor to come out to their rural home and need a referral from a friend. They are business owners, employers and employees.  They worry about getting blood stains out of their laundry. Possibly a little more often than most of us, but still.

They sleep underground in the graveyard when they can’t make it home before dawn. It’s sort of like crashing at a friend’s house. Okay, that one is pushing the boundaries of normal human culture. There is an entire vampire culture that exists outside of human sight, but we only touch the surface of it in season 1.

Sookie is drawn into this world as she seeks to solve the murder mystery and enlists Bill’s help. She visits a vampire bar run by the ancient vampire sheriff, Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgård) and his vampire progeny, Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten). They learn of her telepathy and seek to use her talents to solve their own mysteries.

Shenanigans ensue for 7 unparalleled seasons.

ETA 4/9/20: True Blood is streaming free on Hulu for a limited time.

True Blood Season 1 vs The Southern Vampire Mysteries Book 1 (Dead Until Dark)

True Blood season 1 follows Dead Until Dark, the first book in the series, closely, using the same serial killer plot as the main mystery storyline and Sookie’s romance with Bill as the supernatural focus. The book was originally published in 2001 and my 2008 paperback copy is a quick 292 page read.

Neither the TV season nor the book are my favorite of their respective series, mainly because I am emphatically not a fan of Bill Compton and eventually I start to gag over the way Sookie continuously drools over him. But they are both entertaining and introduce the world of Sookie and Bon Temps with enough suspense, heart and humor to draw you into the next book and season.

In season 1, the TV series faithfully recreates Charlaine Harris’ version of Sookie’s world, from Gran’s old but well-loved farmhouse to Eric Northman’s vampire tourist bar, Fangtasia. The series also included mainly the same characters and subplots as the book, with a few alterations. The main difference is that the TV show expanded on plotlines that were only briefly mentioned in the book, such as recreational V(ampire blood) consumption by humans, Lafayette’s off hours activities and the vampires’ struggle for equal rights.

Many of the supporting characters and their backstories are much more developed in True Blood season 1 than they are in book 1. This is an unusual difference between a book and a movie, but it’s not as surprising when you realize that the Sookie Stackhouse novels are narrated in the first person by Sookie herself. Expanding on other characters isn’t a priority for her, even though it could be aided by her telepathy. She’s basically obsessed with Vampire Bill and the murders in this book, whereas she’s known the other characters her whole life. It’s natural for her to have little interest in providing extra details, so she tells us enough, but we don’t get a full biography.

Two characters who go on to appear in multiple books are left out of the TV series, Bubba and JB du Rone. Bubba is based on a very famous real life singer, so they probably figured he’d be distracting, as he typically is in the books. JB du Rone is a sweet man-child who shares some similarities with Lafayette and eventually becomes close to Tara. I suspect the Lafayette we see on screen is actually meant to be a composite character, with many tweaks and Lafayette’s brains.

The biggest change from Dead Until Dark is the addition of Tara Thornton to the cast. In the books she doesn’t appear until the 2nd installment, Living Dead in Dallas. Several major season 1 subplots revolve around Tara, including the set up for the main storyline for season 2, and she’s heavily involved in other characters’ plot arcs as well. Rutina Wesley is such a vibrant presence that it’s hard to imagine Bon Temps without her version of Tara, so this was certainly a welcome change. With Tara comes her alcoholic mother, Lettie Mae, played by one of my favorite actresses, Adina Porter.

Another notable change is the expansion of the storyline for book character Amy Burley, played by Lizzy Caplan. She and Jason become involved with a vampire played the Man in the High Castle himself, Stephen Root, with disastrous consequences, but it’s fun while it lasts. The Amy-Jason-V subplot is particularly effective, with its psychedelic visuals, sometimes subtle violence and obsessive relationships.

The actors and the visuals drive home the multiple abuse aspects of this plotline in a way that would be much more difficult using only words. The genius of True Blood is that the writing, acting, music and visuals come together to make an entertaining, memorable show while showing the dark side of society and how that dark underbelly can bring pain and pleasure. But True Blood wouldn’t exist if Charlaine Harris’ genius hadn’t already given us the snarky, bold, scandalous world they are elaborating on.

True Blood is streaming on HBO’s websites and Amazon Prime. Charlaine Harris has a new book in her current Gunnie Rose series, A Longer Fall, coming out in January 2020. Until then, I’m amusing myself by revisiting Sookie Stackhouse.

Images belong to those who created them.

Book vs Screen Review: True Blood Season 1 vs Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris-But First, A Brief, Non-Exhaustive Tour Through My Favorite Romantic Vampire Media-Bring on the dark, brooding vampires. Now on Hulu. #TrueBlood #Hulu But First, A Brief, Non-Exhaustive Tour Through My Favorite Romantic Vampire Media Though I have been writing reviews on this blog for more than three years, I have been keeping a dark secret from you, dear readers.

[metawitches]

But First, A Brief, Non-Exhaustive Tour Through My Favorite Romantic Vampire Media

Though I have been writing reviews on this blog for more than three years, I have been keeping a dark secret from you, dear readers. I haven’t really been keeping the secret on purpose, but a lie of omission is still a lie, so please, try to forgive me. I don’t think this reveal will come as much of a shock to my regular readers.

The truth is, I have a deep, lifelong love of vampire romance. I’m open minded, and can consider other supernatural romances as well, but werewolves are so packminded that I question their devotion to their beloved. Ghosts seem so thin and superficial. Zombies are interested in brains, but I want more than just a relationship of the mind. Angels and demons both have to leave their beloveds in the lurch when they get called into service by the higher- and lower- powers they serve. A shapeshifter is an inconstant lover in so many ways, how could we ever develop trust?

There are exceptions: Oz from Buffy. The medieval ghosts of Lynn Kurland’s paranormal romance novels. The sentient zombies of In the Flesh. The married angel-demon couple from Midnight, Texas, another Charlaine Harris story. And no one is more trustworthy than True Blood’s own shapeshifter, Sam Merlotte.

As a general rule, witches and wizards are the only other supernatural beings I truly find exciting, with their wide range of abilities to charm or bewitch the pants off a girl, depending on the mood.

Since I’m a witch myself, and wizards are a dime a dozen, can you blame me for looking for a little more variety in my fantasy life?

Bring on the dark, brooding vampires, who are the epitome of devoted, romantic lovers, are immortal, manageably dangerous and adventurous, definitely where they’re supposed to be during the day, gorgeous and who can share their blood. Blood which, if used in small quantities, will heal without turning a human into a vampire, but which can also make the user immortal if desired, so they can share everlasting love with their vampire lover.

What could go wrong? Don’t answer that, we all need to discover some things for ourselves.

I admit, this is a hereditary issue for me. My mother and older sister sat me down in front of the Gothic soap opera Dark Shadows in 1966, when I was 5 years old, to watch the trials and tribulations of vampire Barnabas Collins, of the supernatural Collins family of Collinsport, Maine. Collinsport was a mysterious town on the cold, rocky shores of northern Maine, just like the small towns in coastal northern Maine my mother’s family had lived in for 300 years, until my parents moved us to upstate NY.

With the amount of inbreeding that went on in the small early populations of northern New England, I wouldn’t be surprised if I share some relatives in common with Barnabas Collins. 😉 I certainly share the vampire’s love of night and inability to handle strong light.

(Yes, I live in New Mexico, why do you ask? This is why hats, tinted glasses and long summers with warm nights were invented. True Blood is a Southern Gothic for a reason. The Twilight vampires can keep their rain soaked, cold climates.)

I still have a copy with this original cover.

Dark Shadows ran for 6 seasons, through 1971. Then I moved on to films and book series, most notably Anne Rice. I received 2 copies of her book Interview with the Vampire for my 16th birthday, in 1977, because my friends and family knew me well, and I haven’t looked back since. Though the author clearly favors the character Lestat, tenderhearted Louis will always be my favorite of her vampires. He is, after all, the vampire who was interviewed.

There were other favorites through the years, such as the film The Lost Boys in 1987 and the Dark Shadows revival in 1991. There were viral vampires, such as The Strain and The Passage, descendants of Nosferatu rather than Dracula. Viral vampires are better not mentioned if you prefer your vampires to be romantic. There was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, film and series. Who could resist Angel? He was so irresistible that David Boreanaz has starred in one TV series or another continuously ever since. I definitely resisted Spike, though I know others didn’t.

There was The Vampire Diaries on The CW, which ran for 8 seasons (2009-17) and spawned 2 spin off series, The Originals (2013-18) and Legacies (2018- ). The first 4 seasons of The Vampire Diaries were as good as any vampire media I’ve seen anywhere. I lost interest when the storylines were watered down by splitting the cast to create spin offs and some of my favorite actors left the franchise, but those vampires are obviously still doing it for others.

Over the years, Ann Rice has written more than a dozen books on vampires, plus other series on other supernaturals, some with her son, Christopher Rice. She managed to make a mummy sexy. Her original vampire trilogy was turned into two mediocre films. I also had a fling with Katie MacAlister’s Dark Ones book series in the 00s, a fun vampire soulmate series. Now I notice she’s added a few installments since I last checked in with it about 10 years ago so, yay! Something else to read over the winter.

The big vampire story of the 00s was Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight book series, which my kids and I shared the way I’d shared Dark Shadows with my family as a child. The Twilight films were terrible, terrible things. I recommend skipping them. But as with so much that’s perceived to be originally aimed at teenage girls, the Twilight books have been unfairly maligned. They are full of universal themes and vivid characters.

Bella is a great character for anyone to follow and she has a romance to die for. She does so much more than have a boyfriend and a baby in her books, but even if that’s all she did, it would be enough. Navigating personal relationships is a huge part of life, and for someone from a background of abuse and neglect, like Bella, learning how to have healthy relationships when you are older is a long term challenge.

If it takes a vampire family to show you what real love, care, equal relationships and decent parenting look like, there’s nothing wrong with that. There are very good reasons why Bella’s romance is in love not just with Edward, but with his entire clan. Because of her childhood experiences, she’s in love with the idea of transforming from a human who has difficulty defending herself against the human monsters in her world, who include her parents, into a vampire who can protect herself and her entire devoted vampire family from even the fiercest of supernatural monsters. After a youth full of struggle, she finds her own power and uses it on her own terms to win a war, in addition to conducting an epic vampire romance.

There was a last, forgotten, one and done vampire TV series of the 00s, Moonlight, on CBS, starring Alex O’Loughlin, who quickly went on to become better known as Steve McGarrett in the Hawaii Five-0 revival, and Jason Dohring of Veronica Mars. Moonlight aired during the 2007-08 season, so it was affected by the infamous, endless writers’ strike which killed more than 1 show that year. It was just hitting its stride when the season was cut short.

As a vampire romance noir which explored multiple historical time periods plus the present day, it was sadly ahead of its time for broadcast TV. Plus, though the show had already been completely recast after early sample filming (except for Alex O’Loughlin), the writing still focused too much on the relationship between O’Loughlin’s main vampire character, Mick St John, and the lead ingenue human female, Beth (Sophia Myles), rather than the much more interesting and complex relationship between Mick and his ancient vampire, on again-off again wife and maker, Coraline (Shannyn Sossamon).

The show was course correcting in that direction when it ended after 16 episodes, an unusually short season in those days. I would be thrilled with a reboot of Moonlight that was done right. (It’s currently streaming on cwseed.com.)

Alas, the media deities rarely listen to my brilliant ideas, so we are subject to the slings and arrows and fangs of outrageous fortune. But just 4 short months after Moonlight went off the air, a new vampire romance rolled into town, and it wasn’t shy about telling us what it wanted. True Blood was the answer to all my vampire romance prayers.

Let’s Finally Review True Blood Season 1

True Blood aired on HBO for 7 seasons, for a total of 80 episodes, from the fall of 2008 to the summer of 2014. It’s based on the 13-14 book series The Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris. The TV series was created by Alan Ball, who was handpicked by Charlaine Harris because she felt he understood what she was trying to do with the books. He stayed on as showrunner for the first 5 seasons, which were all critically acclaimed.

The TV series stars Anna Paquin as Sookie Stackhouse, a telepathic waitress who lives in Bon Temps, a small town in rural Louisiana. Sookie sees her telepathy as a disability because she has a hard time turning it off, which makes it difficult to concentrate on anything else or to have normal human relationships. As a result, she’s socially isolated, other than a few close friends and her family- the warm, generous grandmother she lives with, Adele, known as Gran (Lois Smith), and her charming but selfish, promiscuous brother, Jason (Ryan Kwanten).

Sookie works at her friend Sam Merlotte’s bar and restaurant (Sam Trammell), where she’s also friends with much married fellow waitress Arlene (Carrie Preston) and fabulous short-order cook and hustler, Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis). Her best friend and Lafayette’s cousin, Tara (Rutina Wesley), begins working at Merlotte’s as a bartender at the beginning of the series. Most of the town passes through Merlotte’s at one time or another, since it’s a popular local hangout.

Sookie’s parents died in a flash flood when she was a child, but other than that and her telepathy, her life has been normal, even humdrum. Until vampires came out of the coffin a few years ago, as far as she knew there was nothing extraordinary about the world. She still has no idea why she’s psychic.

A synthetic blood which can sustain vampires, known by the brand name Tru Blood, has encouraged vampires to take the controversial step of revealing themselves as a species to humans. Amongst both vampires and humans, some have embraced this revelation and some fear what it will mean for the future. Sookie makes her very first vampire acquaintance, with the vampire Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer), when he stops by Merlotte’s to try a Tru Blood. Bill is attempting to mainstream, meaning he’s trying to blend in with humans as much as possible, rather than living the full vampire lifestyle, which naturally disregards human manners and customs. Normal vampire ways tend to alienate normal humans fairly quickly. They can even be deadly for humans.

Vampire blood can be used as a recreational drug, so there are dealers who capture vampires, drain their blood, then sell it. Sometimes they kill the vampire in the process. In the first episode, an unethical couple lure Bill into the parking lot to drain him, which Sookie overhears using her telepathic ability. Sookie is surprised to discover how easily some silver and the promise of a tasty snack can disarm a vampire. She rescues Bill and their relationship is born.

Due to the images her telepathy puts in her head, Sookie has never been able to date human men, so Bill is her first boyfriend. His main attraction is that she’s unable to read his mind. Perhaps because they are technically dead, vampire minds are a blank to her. For a telepath who’s always “on”, this is soothing.

True Blood season 1 is a Southern Gothic, paranormal, horror, mystery, romance, urban fantasy, much the same as the book it’s based on, Charlaine Harris’ Dead Until Dark. Though the subject matter is intense, the writing is relatively fast-paced and there’s a dark comedy element to it that keeps the horror aspect from becoming overwhelming. The show isn’t as light and breezy as the books; in addition to the book’s humor it uses visuals and a heightened reality to emphasize the outrageous nature of Sookie’s world. The characters frequently comment on that outrageousness and on the ironies taking place around them.

In season 1, there’s a serial killer on the loose who provides the season long mystery arc. The killer is after young women who’ve been with both vampires and human men. Since Sookie has a vampire boyfriend and is frequently around other men, she eventually becomes one of the targets.

The show’s theme song, Bad Things, by Jace Everett, perfectly encapsulates the mood of True Blood. It’s an upbeat country song that promises an out of control romance, which plays over the opening credit sequence of each episode. Humans and animals experiencing intense situations flash by, while names are superimposed over them. The activities in the visuals aren’t necessarily even immoral, they’re just filmed in a way that makes them feel creepy, until you aren’t sure anymore what’s actually bad and what’s just making you feel bad.

Like an insidious vampire who wants to have his way with us, the opening credits act to lower our boundaries and confuse us, so that we’re disoriented and easily taken out of our normal lives. Whether we’re being glamoured, romanced, drugged or conned, the first step is to convince us to leave our previous concept of normal behind.

The first year I watched True Blood, I thought the opening sequence was the grossest, most horrible opening credits sequence ever made. Now I love it and think it’s one of the best. Is that a good development or a bad one? *shrug* I still can’t watch the maggots though. The vampires haven’t completely taken me over.

True Blood continues to lower our defenses and push our boundaries once the opening credits end. Vampires and shapeshifters are welcomed into normal society. They take part in panels on CNN, discussing legal changes which have been proposed to help or hinder their assimilation. They stop at the 7-11 to pick up a 6 pack on their way home. They have difficulty getting a contractor to come out to their rural home and need a referral from a friend. They are business owners, employers and employees.  They worry about getting blood stains out of their laundry. Possibly a little more often than most of us, but still.

They sleep underground in the graveyard when they can’t make it home before dawn. It’s sort of like crashing at a friend’s house. Okay, that one is pushing the boundaries of normal human culture. There is an entire vampire culture that exists outside of human sight, but we only touch the surface of it in season 1.

Sookie is drawn into this world as she seeks to solve the murder mystery and enlists Bill’s help. She visits a vampire bar run by the ancient vampire sheriff, Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgård) and his vampire progeny, Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten). They learn of her telepathy and seek to use her talents to solve their own mysteries.

Shenanigans ensue for 7 unparalleled seasons.

True Blood Season 1 vs The Southern Vampire Mysteries Book 1 (Dead Until Dark)

True Blood season 1 follows Dead Until Dark, the first book in the series, closely, using the same serial killer plot as the main mystery storyline and Sookie’s romance with Bill as the supernatural focus. The book was originally published in 2001 and my 2008 paperback copy is a quick 292 page read.

Neither the TV season nor the book are my favorite of their respective series, mainly because I am emphatically not a fan of Bill Compton and eventually I start to gag over the way Sookie continuously drools over him. But they are both entertaining and introduce the world of Sookie and Bon Temps with enough suspense, heart and humor to draw you into the next book and season.

In season 1, the TV series faithfully recreates Charlaine Harris’ version of Sookie’s world, from Gran’s old but well-loved farmhouse to Eric Northman’s vampire tourist bar, Fangtasia. The series also included mainly the same characters and subplots as the book, with a few alterations. The main difference is that the TV show expanded on plotlines that were only briefly mentioned in the book, such as recreational V(ampire blood) consumption by humans, Lafayette’s off hours activities and the vampires’ struggle for equal rights.

Many of the supporting characters and their backstories are much more developed in True Blood season 1 than they are in book 1. This is an unusual difference between a book and a movie, but it’s not as surprising when you realize that the Sookie Stackhouse novels are narrated in the first person by Sookie herself. Expanding on other characters isn’t a priority for her, even though it could be aided by her telepathy. She’s basically obsessed with Vampire Bill and the murders in this book, whereas she’s known the other characters her whole life. It’s natural for her to have little interest in providing extra details, so she tells us enough, but we don’t get a full biography.

Two characters who go on to appear in multiple books are left out of the TV series, Bubba and JB du Rone. Bubba is based on a very famous real life singer, so they probably figured he’d be distracting, as he typically is in the books. JB du Rone is a sweet man-child who shares some similarities with Lafayette and eventually becomes close to Tara. I suspect the Lafayette we see on screen is actually meant to be a composite character, with many tweaks and Lafayette’s brains.

The biggest change from Dead Until Dark is the addition of Tara Thornton to the cast. In the books she doesn’t appear until the 2nd installment, Living Dead in Dallas. Several major season 1 subplots revolve around Tara, including the set up for the main storyline for season 2, and she’s heavily involved in other characters’ plot arcs as well. Rutina Wesley is such a vibrant presence that it’s hard to imagine Bon Temps without her version of Tara, so this was certainly a welcome change. With Tara comes her alcoholic mother, Lettie Mae, played by one of my favorite actresses, Adina Porter.

Another notable change is the expansion of the storyline for book character Amy Burley, played by Lizzy Caplan. She and Jason become involved with a vampire played the Man in the High Castle himself, Stephen Root, with disastrous consequences, but it’s fun while it lasts. The Amy-Jason-V subplot is particularly effective, with its psychedelic visuals, sometimes subtle violence and obsessive relationships.

The actors and the visuals drive home the multiple abuse aspects of this plotline in a way that would be much more difficult using only words. The genius of True Blood is that the writing, acting, music and visuals come together to make an entertaining, memorable show while showing the dark side of society and how that dark underbelly can bring pain and pleasure. But True Blood wouldn’t exist if Charlaine Harris’ genius hadn’t already given us the snarky, bold, scandalous world they are elaborating on.

True Blood is streaming on HBO’s websites and Amazon Prime. Charlaine Harris has a new book in her current Gunnie Rose series, A Longer Fall, coming out in January 2020. Until then, I’m amusing myself by revisiting Sookie Stackhouse.

Images belong to those who created them.

Book vs Screen Review: True Blood Season 1 vs Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris-But First, A Brief, Non-Exhaustive Tour Through My Favorite Romantic Vampire Media-Bring on the dark, brooding vampires. #TrueBlood #CharlaineHarris But First, A Brief, Non-Exhaustive Tour Through My Favorite Romantic Vampire Media Though I have been writing reviews on this blog for more than three years, I have been keeping a dark secret from you, dear readers.