#as always fuck lauren seal

[blondrichclosetwitch]

But her friend is nowhere to be seen, and she's hooked to the silver screen, but the film is a saddening bore for she's lived it ten times or more

“ …cause I wrote it ten times or more.”

I hate to inform you but I have my own fucking plan

I went home with the waitress, just like I always do

Send lawyers, guns and money

The shit has hit the fan

Lately, I've not slept a wink since this half-pint imitation put me on the blink

“I don’t know if you’ve seen that film, or remember seeing it, but I’ll tell you……..I had a good time.”

I'm not sleeping

There's something about you, girl, that makes me sweat

I can't talk about anything else instead of you

I'm trying to

You better catch me or I'll kill you

And why can't you look me in the face?

But I shouldn't put any questions to you that I don't really want the answers to

Finders, keepers, when you creep inside my mind it's madness

Y'all want us dead

just 'cause the skin is the black type (ah)

I'm tapped in the matrix, I'm back and they hate it

we the master of the path that we blazin', you dig

engine, I'm fishtailin' on some sloppy shit (skrrt)

Internet bringin' old lyrics up, like I hide the shit

Free 'em, don't fuck with the law like, damn, Gina

So calm the fuck down before we duck rounds and fireballs that make your family have to duck the fuck down

We frontline, we got the molotov that we can chuck now

'Cause anytime we movin' up, it's like a "What the fuck now?"

They playin' games, we strappin' up, we cock and aim

We aim to shoot, we shoot to claim what we need

We done with pain and the grievin, but put this plastic on first, 'cause shit is hittin' the fan, Scott

I want you so bad, Babe

It's driving me mad, it's driving me mad

Don't look at the carpet, I drew something awful on it. Can’t you see?

“No touch!”

I'll never touch you

Bring your alibis*

We are programmed to receive*

It’s not easy for me to talk about

You should've known better than to have let her get you under her spell of the weather

I got you where I want you, you're deader than ever and falling for forever

I'm playing head games with you

If you should ask, then maybe they’d tell me what I would say

Let it go

Because of you I need to rest, oh yes*

Because it's you that sets the test

And the road is coming to its end

Now the damned have no time to make amends

Neptune City

…and no one will help us

Oh, watch out, watch out I'm cheating on you

My hands are red

My hands are red from sealing your red lips

Neptune City (if you have three planets in pisces, this is your jam)

You starve and near exhaust me

Stalked in the forest, too close to hide

“I said that lie already.”

By blood we're bound

Honestly I kinda always trance out on the married song, so I dunno

Don't ask me what I think of you

Might not give the answer that you want me to

Lauren: There's a voice I always trust; it’s friendly helping hand tells me leave, I must

“Baby, forgive me.”

And the world's got me dizzy again

You'd think after 22, I'd be used to the spin

And it only feels worse when I stay in one place

So I'm always pacing around or walking away

But it all boils down to one quotable phrase

“If you love something give it away”

You may be offended and you may be afraid, but don't walk away, don't walk away

It's four o'clock, it's got to stop

Tell him, "Take no more"

Apologies to future me's and you's

I'm not gonna end up a nervous wreck like the people I know who are nervous wrecks

Though I'm not gonna name names

(Yours was an exception)

We gotta go back

You know I love your art

The ocean washed over your grave

And when the mirror breaks I wouldn't miss it for the world

Call it blackstar, call it painstar

Or stare into the face of whatever it is that's facing you

Did they tell you...

Did they tell me...

What happened to you?

(It'll take some time

But somewhere down the line

We won't be)

Love never fails

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast-

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres-

You set me free, I set you free

(Life is sad and so is love)

Worth noting not the news is :51, starting to track that number: a fortune teller, a sea bird feather

(Also worth noting that when I asked Steel in 2020 if the Tarot Reader had anything to do with his death, he told me to hit shuffle and not the news started to play. I still remember the gasp coming out of my mouth. That was probably the beginning of clarity.)

4:59 pink rabbits which is so fucking loaded I can’t even

Years in the makin, and don't y'all mistake it

You know careers take off, just gotta be patient

Most of y'all gon' squeal

Most of y'all just envy, but jealousy get you killed

Most of y'all throw rocks and try to hide your hand

Because it's all in your eyes, most of y'all tell lies

Something happens when everybody finds out

You don't know me, -, I done changed

Now I am older, I'm getting so much bolder with my head up high(I was half a second late)

I'm stalkin' and walkin' you're my movie star

What you think of this idea:

You and me and no-one else

Your friends at work will disappear

And that guy you're with he was never there

Every night rewind the dream

Tv static sex in flame

Its comin' down real fast in my mind I will not live without you you you

(This playlist has been going since 10:58 am)

Oh, William

If you have to go, I will get by

I will follow you and see you on the Other Side

(might as well add that when this would play in 2017, it would accompany a scene of fake Stella convincing Psychic Jakk to kill himself (to join her on the other side), so it’s not my favorite memory)

I fear the whole world is starting to believe you

[stryc-9]

2 for the ladies and NONE for the show 🙌

[wearevillaneve]

Missing Work Wives Hours. (original post by delaney is mourning ke/Twitter)

[stryc-9]

Another day, another opportunity for Laura and Sally to be delusional chucklefucks.

eve polastri craved chaos from the very beginning. waking niko up by screaming just for fun, using the word ‘cool’ to describe an assassination, holding a knife to her thigh in her office, asking niko how he would kill her and stating how she’d kill him, being blatantly bored with her husband, breaking a multitude of rules at work to follow her own lead. this woman would have been more than satisfied living a chaotic life with villanelle. villanelle didn’t need to die so eve could ‘move on’. eve was like this from the beginning.

[princessphilly]

One Night In Seattle: Epilogue

Tag list: @hockeynshit @newlibrary @hockeywocs @2kidcrew @iangiemae @stars-canucks @huggybearmylove43 @himbos-on-ice @littlebabyboybarzal @t0xickisses2 @habsfan​, @chara-hugs @starshine-hockey-girl @whoeverineedtobe @whatishockey @not-today-sis @hiimana @abrianna14​ @thebookofmags

CW: angst, smut, spoilers for Jamila’s story, fluff

This ride is over; next fic is Karesha and PK’s fic, A Little Bit of Wonderful

WC; 1160

The wedding had been a smashing success. Desiree grinned as Jamila dabbed her eyes. Sidney and Nina were running down the aisle to cheers after being named man and wife. Most importantly, the baby in her uterus had been on perfect behavior throughout the ceremony.

As she made her way down the aisle holding Astrid’s hand, Desiree made eyes with Jamie. He always stood out, due to his height, but when their eyes locked, she shyly smiled. Jamie mouthed, “Next year.”

Next year, it will be their big wedding. They had eloped several weeks ago to Vegas with his parents, her sisters Danae and Danielle, and her line sister Joy. Astrid watched the ceremony on FaceTime, while staying with Abdul and Lisa. Desiree had feared the bright lights of Vegas would be too much for Astrid. Plus, it was a super quick ceremony.

The rest of the day seemed like it went by in a blur. There were more pictures, then the reception line. Desiree had left the reception for a bit; Astrid needed to go to bed and Desiree decided to make sure that AJ went down as well for the night.

On her way back to the ballroom, Desiree noticed Jamila quietly arguing with one of the guests. There was a frisson of anger and desire in the air between them and Desiree put two and two together. The guy left before he saw Desiree and she made her way next to Jamila.

Jamila sighed as Desiree said, “I don’t know what to think, Mila, but a couple questions just got answered for me.”

“You heard it all?”

“Enough. I guess I should be saying leave him alone and contact through lawyers but he’s fucking hot.”

Desiree wasn’t an idiot, she could admit it when she saw a sexy man. He was definitely hot. Jamila laughed. “I saw that huge guy you came in here with. I’d climb him like a tree.”

“And I’d cut your face if you did,” Desiree said with a grin. “And if Sio had approached this guy, you’d cut her too.”

Jamila shrugged as Desiree chuckled, seeing Jamie out of the corner of her eye. “Anyway, I’m not going to talk you out of your decision, whatever you decided, because you’re going to put Maya first anyway. And, you deserve to play with him after everything,” Desiree said while looking at her nails.

Jamie stated, “There you are, I’ve been looking for you. You promised me a dance, Books.”

“Books,” Jamila asked.

Desiree smiled at her friend. “I gotta go give Jamie a dance. My lips are sealed.”

As they made their way to the dance floor, Jamie asked, “What was that?”

“A secret I’m keeping for my friend,” Desiree replied. “Ask me no questions, I tell you no lies.”

“Sassy,” Jamie murmured as they spun on the dance floor, his hand straying to grab her ass. “That’s okay, I don’t need to know.”

Then there was a commotion and Desiree turned, half-afraid that Jamila had ended up causing a scene. Instead, it was Nina, Aryanna stabbing her in her thigh with an epi-pen. “Oh fucking shit!”

Sidney was barreling through people to get to his wife as Lauren talked with the hotel staff. Desiree stepped to go to her friend and line sister but Jamie held her back. “I know but give them a bit of space. Sidney looks like he got in under control.”

It seemed like a whirlwind as EMTs came in, the bride and her husband left for the hospital. Vernon grimly stepped towards them and Desiree touched his shoulder. “Mr. Vernon, what happened?”

Vernon replied, “The cake had egg in it. Nina had recently developed an allergy to eggs but she thought it was just for plain eggs. I gotta go.”

“Oh no.”

Desiree and Jamie shared a look as Mr. Vernon went past them.  Even though the band was still playing and people were drinking and partying, Desiree was done. Sharing a silent look with her husband, they quietly made their way to their hotel room for the night. Quietly undressing, they both went to bed silently, the excitement of the day leading to exhaustion quickly.

**

It felt like a ticklish sensation. Jamie opened his eyes in confusion to see his wife running a hand down his face with her nails. “Morning.”

Desiree grinned before giving him a fresh strip. Jamie gratefully popped it in his mouth, letting it melt before kissing his wife good morning. Lazily tangling tongues, they kissed until Desiree was on top, straddling Jamie’s abs. Breaking the kiss, Jamie asked, “Time?”

“It’s 5 AM, enough time before a child wakes up and looks for us.” Grunting, Jamie rolled them to where Desiree was on her back beneath him. “You don’t know how good you looked in that red dress last night, Desie. Fuck, it took me everything not to lift that skirt and fuck you as soon as I saw you walk down the aisle.”

“Good, that would be embarrassing,” Desiree quipped. “So caveman.”

Spreading her legs wider, Jamie settled in his favorite place on earth. “So wet, were you getting yourself ready for me while I was sleeping.”

“Maybe, possibly,” Desiree teased as she cupped her breasts, teasing her nipples. That simple act made her moan; she was so sensitive now that she was past the first trimester. “It’s been four days since you’ve been inside of me, Jamieson.”

“My poor baby, it's been too long,” Jamie drawled as he lined himself up and sank deep into Desiree’s core. “Mmm, I love how your pussy grips me so tight.”

“Because no one fucks me like you do.”

Desiree moaned as Jamie locked fingers with her, his breath by her ear. Filthy, dirty, sweet nothings were uttered between them as well as I-love-yous as they both sought their shared high. A soft bite on Desiree’s neck, heels digging into Jamie’s back, a deep kiss as they both came together in the early morning light in Hawaii.

Afterwards, Desiree reluctantly got up as soon as she could. This baby inside of her, it was making her very susceptible to infections so whenever they had sex, Desiree had to pee immediately afterwards. Once she was done in the bathroom, Jamie was lying on the bed, having pulled on some boxers after sleeping naked. There was a shirt, one of his of course, and a pair of panties for Desiree. “You know she’s coming in as soon as she wakes up.”

Desiree shrugged before putting the clothes on. Then she snuggled into Jamie, dozing off the next half hour until their door to their room in the suite opened. Astrid jumped into the bed and Desiree muttered, “Oooff.”

“I still tired, Mama,” Astrid sleepily whispered before falling asleep between Desiree and Jamie.

Desiree smiled down at her daughter before her eyes met Jamie’s. Then they locked hands before going back to sleep themselves, one big family.

[loving-villanelle]

I still can’t get over the “Villaneve just wouldn’t work” statement. Because no matter how much I keep twisting it in my head I can’t find any reason why (other than Laura Neal being homophobic, terribly heteronormative or with no understanding of love and relationships).

Bc they are bad for each other? No they are not, not anymore. We saw the forgiveness, acceptance and equality already. If something, they make each other better now.

Bc Villanelle is a bad bad murderer? Well, so is Eve. They are both messy and they love it. Villanelle is not the reason for Eve’s darkness so Eve doesn’t need to be saved from her.

Bc they would eventually get each other killed? Well, that’s a possibility but at least before that they could experience all the joys of being together. “We would consume each other before we get old. That sounds kind of nice.” It’s better to burn out than fade away was always them.

Bc they don’t like the domesticity? Well that’s not the goal in every relationship. Like Eve said it herself, you put the broken pieces together and make something completely your own. They were never gonna be like the sickly-sweet kidney-couple. They were perfectly domestic in their own way.

Bc they would never be happy? Well that’s just bullshit because we all saw that they’ve never been happier than they were together. There’s no way Villanelle would be happier killing than with Eve when her whole fucking arc has been about wanting to be loved and be something else than a killer. And there’s no way Eve would be happy in a normal life she wanted to get away from since the beginning. They were soulmates and it pains me that Laura only saw them as problematic frenemies.

Also, It’s incredibly strange from her to say that it wouldn’t work bc they could never be “good” or “normal” when the show has never cared about those things before. So, wtf.

Villaneve aren't bad for each other. I don't want to hear shit from anybody about "they're toxic" because no, sit the fuck down. Eve brought out Villanelle's humanity and made her feel things. The scene from 2x07 where Villanelle tells Eve "I feel things when I'm with you" still makes my heart do somersaults. Villanelle brings out parts of Eve that, as Sandra once put it, were on pause or never fully explored. Anything that Eve did after meeting Villanelle isn't because Villanelle made Eve "bad". Eve was already fucked up. In episode 1, before Eve ever laid eyes on Villanelle, we know that she was obsessed with women killers, stabbed her own leg with a knife, and had fantasized about how she would kill Niko (haven't we all?). They complemented each other. Villanelle introduced a freedom and a vitality that Eve had suppressed in order to live her regular old life at her regular old job with her regular old husband in her regular old house. Villanelle introduced possibility and excitement and yes, danger, but that's because she was an assassin for the Twelve, something that was no longer true by the end of the series. So tell me where the toxic aspects of their relationship were? They were these people already, Villanelle simply allowed Eve to see that she could take agency of herself, while Eve allowed Villanelle to recognize that there was so much more to her than simply being an assassin.

The thing is that no matter what Lauren Seal's fucked up reasons were, THEY LITERALLY DIDN'T MATTER BECAUSE THE SHOW WAS ENDING. All of these things that she supposedly saw or didn't see happening were of no fucking relevance, because IT'S NOTHING THAT ANY OF US WERE EVER GOING TO SEE ON OUR SCREENS. She could've given us an ending that at least allowed possibility, so that we could decide for ourselves what that next step for them might be, whether together or apart. But instead, she let her ideas of things that she couldn't see happening in EPISODES THAT WILL NEVER BE MADE dictate how she formulated her ending. Laura Neal is a cunt

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here! / Part 12 Here! / Part 13 Here! / Part 14 Here! / Part 15 Here!

Donate to Higher Ground HERE!

Song for this Chapter - (X) 

A/N: Posted a day early because a few people asked me to, I think y’all are going to like this chapter :)

* “So what’s your pick (Y/N/N)?”

* You turn to your right, seeing Tyler’s grinning face.

* “Pick for what?” You take another modest sip from your glass.

* Conner’s throwing a party at his house since his parents will be gone all weekend.

* Half the school must be here, his house is almost as big as the Cullen’s

* Tyler exchanges a look with Conner and Mike and grins.

* The three of you and Angela are sitting in his Dad’s study, drinking his finest brandy

* You’ve just been taking very small polite sips to throw off any suspicions

* The upside to being a vampire: you can’t taste anything other than blood so the alcohol just tastes like water

* The downside: you stay drunk until you force yourself to throw it up

* “F*ck, Marry, Kill: me, Conner, and Mike.”

* You wrinkle your nose and Angela laughs

* “Gross questions like that are why I don’t sit with you guys at lunch anymore.” The others laugh and you take a sip of you drink as Tyler grins

* “It’s a game, everyone’s gone except you”

* Have they? You’ve been pretty tuned out, Jessica and Bella left to go to the bathroom like 20 minutes ago.

* To add, you haven’t seen either Edward, Emmett, or Rosalie since you all came together in the jeep.

* Things are still...different between you and Edward

* He’s not outwardly hostile towards you or anything but...

* He doesn’t smile at you anymore

* Not like he used to, with that carefree boyish grin

* Just thinking about it gets you down

* You were fairly surprised when he said he would come with you, Rosalie and Emmett to Conner’s party.

* You were less surprised when he basically abandoned you as soon as you got into the house

* You’ve been trying to see if you can hear any of your friends in the house but you haven’t been able to distinguish any voices yet

* You sigh, holding your drink out to Mike

* “Marry,” the bright grin on his face almost makes you feel bad.

* “Kill, kill” your drink sways as you point to Tyler and Conner.

* Another roar of laughter

* “Hey that’s not fair, you can’t kill both of us!” Tyler protests, you roll your eyes moving to stand

* “Fine F*ck Conner, kill Tyler. Angela you wanna come with I’m going to the bathroom”

* You want to go see what’s holding Jessica and Bella up, but you don’t want to leave Angela alone with three boys.

* Mike’s here, and nothing would probably happen, Conner and Tyler are flirts but you like to think they wouldn’t do anything like that.

* Still you don’t want to risk it.

* She nods, gulping down the rest of her drink. Following you out.

* “Did you hear that?! They said they would f*ck me!” You hear Conner shout triumphantly after you’ve closed the door

* “Yeah but they said that they would kill you first, doesn’t count” Mike says, you hear the clink of ice as you assume he pours another drink

* “Oh getting arrogant just because they said they would marry you huh?”

* “Bet he wishes it was Bella who said she would marry him.”

* You roll your eyes holding out your hand to Angela

* “So we don’t get lost.” She smiles as she takes it. You have to practically slither through the crowd

* Conner’s house is needlessly complicated. Hallways that don’t lead anywhere and so many closets.

* The O’Malleys really should have hired Esme to design their house

* “Ah, there they are!” You see Jessica and Bella leaning against the railing of the second floor. It looks like they’re talking to someone-

* Oh it’s Edward

* Jessica notices you and works her way over to you

* But your eyes are glued to Edward and Bella, they haven’t even noticed you yet. Or that Jessica left them.

* Bella’s eyes are twinkling as she looks up at him, her cheeks are tinged pink, and Edward-

* He’s got a sparkle in his eye, his mouth quirked in that boyish lopsided grin.

* So that smile is really just for her now

* They really do look good together

* “Hey what’s wrong?” You didn’t even notice Jessica was standing in front of you.

* Are you crying right now? No of course not, you can’t cry.

* “Nothing! We were looking for you and Lauren. Mike and Tyler are playing this game that I think you two would be very into” you give her a sly wink and she blushes

* “I thought we came to go to the bathroom.” Oh sh*t you did use that as your excuse.

* “Well I didn’t wanna be obvious yknow?” You say to Angela, catching another glimpse of Bella and Edward behind her, looks like she’s laughing at something he said. “Do you need to go to the bathroom?”

* You turn your attention back to Angela who’s nodding.

* “Jessica why don’t you show her where it is, you just went right?” Jessica’s eyebrows thread together

* “Yeah I did but-“ she doesn’t want to leave you alone. Before you can reassure her you’ll be fine you feel someone throw their arms around you

* For a second your heart skips a beat.

* Edward?

* “Oh my god babes you look so cute, we have to take a picture together!”

* Oh it’s just Lauren

* Wait why are you disappointed? This is perfect.

* “Of course I was just looking for you!” You nod to Jessica and Angela. “We’ll meet you both back at Conner’s dad’s home office.”

* Jessica gives you a reluctant look but nods, leading Angela into the crowd.

* You take one last glance at Edward and Bella, from here he almost looks human.

* This is the way things are supposed to be.

* “Hey Lauren, wanna do some shots?”

* Lauren has her faults, but she’s always down for anything you might suggest. It’s kind of weird, but she reminds you a little of Alec.

* So you’re a little impressed when she finds a several bottles of vodka hidden in a various books.

* “Conner’s mom has a drinking problem, shhhhh don’t tell anyone”

* Yeah you kinda figured

* “We brought vodka!!” She shouts when she enters the study earning cheers from the rest of the boys.

* Looks like Jessica and Angela aren’t back yet.

* Lauren stole your spot on the armchair so she could flirt with Tyler. You sigh sitting carefully on top of the desk.

* “You leave with one girl and come back with another, how do you do it?” Conner’s got a devilish grin as he leans in to ask you.

* You drink straight from the bottle.

* You’re going to play a drinking game, anytime any of these boys try’s to flirt with you you take a drink.

* “I’m really hot.” You say bluntly

* Conner and Mike laugh

* “Yeah-I mean, yeah you definitely are.” Mike stutters

* If you were human you would probably be nervous by this situation, you’re basically sitting on the desk between Mike and Conner. Mike is on the end of the sofa, and Conner is sitting next to you in the office chair.

* But now that you’re a vampire, you could kill both of these boys with a simple flick of your wrist

* “So what’s going on between you and Cullen really?” Mike asks and you remember the look on Edward’s face when he was talking to Bella.

* “Nothing, we’re just friends” even less than that at this point. You’re just someone who lives in his house

* you’re worried they’re going to press further on the issue and all the emotions you’ve kept sealed away will come out overflowing.

* But they don’t, maybe Conner senses somethings happened because instead he says:

* “So you would f*ck me huh?” You laugh

* “Oh my god are you still stuck on that?”

* “And you said you would marry me?” Mike is grinning so wide he’s actually grinning.

* “You guys are ridiculous.” You’re laughing so hard you cover your mouth.

* “Alright, out of the entire friend group, f*ck, marry, kill, who are your picks?” Conner leans a bit closer, you wonder if he’s been eating healthier lately, he doesn’t smell nearly as bad as he used to.

* It’s still pretty bad, but now there’s a sweeter herbal undertone

* “Hmmm you guys go first I have to think” you lightly shove Conner by the shoulder and he actually rolls back a bit.

* “Alright hmmm-“ he rubs his chin in mock thought “well marry you of course-“

* “Of course” you nod taking another swig of Vodka

* “F*ck Mike”

* “What?” Mike is genuinely flustered and you grin

* “It’s that golden retriever vibe he gives off right?” You say and Conner nods

* “Exactly! Also he looks like a good cuddler.”

* “Definitely a little spoon”

* “Definitely”

* Mike looks like he’s going to combust from the attention from how red his face is.

* “Kill.... I guess kill Edward, the less competition the better” Conner gives you a meaningful look

* Well you don’t know how to feel about that so you just take another swig of Vodka. The more you drink the easier it’ll come out later right?

* “Your turn Mike.”

* “Marry Bella-“

* “Of course” you and Conner say in unison, clinking your bottle to his glass after you do.

* “Fuck you, kill Edward”

* “Damn no love for Edward at all huh?” You say with a gasp of surprise.

* You’re a little annoyed he didn’t pick Jessica.

* You like Bella and all, and her shy bookworm thing is kinda cute, but Jessica is clearly the superior choice.

* “Don’t deflect now that it’s your turn.” Conner lightly bumps your knee against yours

* Wait when did he move from the chair and sit beside you on the desk?

* You roll your eyes and take another swig of vodka

* “Marry Jessica,” they both sputter at that, Conner actually spits out his drink mid gulp.

* Ew Gross.

* “Fuck Conner, Kill Mike.”

* Conner does a fist pump and Mike looks genuinely hurt.

* “I’m sorry Mike but it’s either marriage or kill, there’s no in between.”

* Mike pouts, before sitting up straighter

* “I bet I’m a better kisser than Conner.”

* You take a long drink of Vodka

* “No way dude, you and I both used to date Lauren and I don’t think she would have dated me again after you if you were a better kisser”

* “That was in middle school! I had braces back then!”

* “Yeah, that’s why you’re so bad at kissing.” Conner says matter of factly taking a sip of his Dad’s brandy straight from the decanter

* “No, I had to lea-“

* “Oh my god would you both shut up?” You shout and let out a huff of annoyance before reaching out and grabbing Mike by the collar of his shirt, tugging him forward

* Your lips meet his briefly, your eyes are closed, and his are open. He adjust to the situation quickly, cupping your cheek and tilting his head slightly

* Not bad

* You break away, turning to Conner, he’s a bit more ready than Mike. He cups your face with both hands, mouth parting slightly as one of his hands slides into your hair.

* You break away sweetly, with one last peck.

* “Conner’s better” you say the bottle of vodka already on your lips. Conner’s laughing while Mike protests.

* “What-no, I wasn’t ready, I want another chance!” You roll your eyes as he looks at you expectantly

* “Fin-“ he breaks you off with his lips, this time is better than the last. He’s standing, and the angle adds to the technique, his hand is on the back your neck, tilting your chin up with the other

* Oh wow.

* You’re a little dazzled when you break apart. Jessica is one lucky girl.

* “Wait if he gets another chance I want one too.” Conner protests, you just nod dumbly.

* That was a really good kiss. You feel all warm and fuzzy.

* Before you can think Conner wraps an arm around your waist tugging you close, he dips you back before kissing you. You open your mouth from the surprise and he takes the opportunity to sweep his tongue in.

* You’re seeing stars, and then abruptly you’re yanked by the shoulder.

* Oh does Mike want another turn?

* Without even opening your eyes you kiss the person who pulled on your shoulder.

* These lips feel different then Mike’s, almost-sticky? Or is it slippery? They smell different too like boiled broccoli-

* Oh shit

* You hesitantly open your eyes, only to see a very shocked Jessica

* “Oh my god” you pull back quickly, cupping your hand over your mouth so you don’t kiss anyone else by accident “I’m so sorry Jess- I didn’t-“

* Before you can finish someone tugs your arm, you vaguely understand what’s happening, one of your arms grasped by a very strong hand and your other carrying a bottle of vodka.

* It’s Edward, you recognize the blue collared shirt he’s wearing, you bought him that shirt last year for his birthday.

* “E-Edward? Wait where-“ you turn to the side to see Jessica who’s standing very still, your eyes briefly meet Bella’s and they flash with-hurt?

* What did you kiss her too when you weren’t paying attention?

* “H-hey Edward that hurts!” If he heard you he doesn’t seem to care, dragging you through the party and through the cluster of people all along the front yard

* You’re vaguely aware of the stares your way. You both must look pretty weird, or at least like a couple of kids dying to f*ck

* All you can see when you look straight forward is Edward’s back. His broad shoulders and the slender curve of his back.

* For some reason, the safest place you can imagine is the middle of Edward’s back. You bet it’s so warm and safe to be nestled there.

* You bet it’s the place Bella feels the most safe in

* A prickle of irritation burns in you. And in your impatience when Edward starts to slow you wrap your arms around his waist-

* “(Y/N), what are you-“ He grumbles, but you don’t pay it any mind, you nestle your head in his back, right below the spot between his shoulder blades. Breathing his scent in deeply.

* Edward always smells so good, like Argon oil and Rosemary

* You feel him sigh, his hand resting over yours that are intertwined on his stomach

* You stay like that for a moment, you’re not sure how long, it might have been hours

* But it feels too soon when Edward pulls away from you.

* The whine of protest that’s building in the back of your throat dies when you see his face

* “Hey, what’s wrong, why are you upset?” A hand lifts to cradle Edward’s face. His mouth is pinched into a frown and his eyes... they look so sad

* Your compassion only seems to irritate him further because he shakes your hand off of his face

* You’re a little hurt, and very confused

* “What were you doing in there?” You can tell from the way his voice trembles he’s barely contains his anger

* “We were playing a game” you say in a small voice. Edward gives out a bitter laugh

* “And what game was that, spin the bottle?”

* “Who’s the better kisser actually” you mumble, looking down at your shoes feeling a little embarrassed

* “You can’t even imagine the vile thoughts they were-“ he cuts himself off, averting his gaze from you

* You feel like a bucket of cold water got dumped on you

* They’re your friends. You were just having a good time. It was all just harmless fun wasn’t it?

* oh god you kissed Jessica! Jessica your best friend.

* How are supposed to face her now

* “Have you been drinking?” He asks, tugging the bottle hanging limply from between your fingers.

* It’s almost empty, less than a quarter left.

* “H-hey I didn’t drink all of that, Lauren drank quite a bit too, and I’m pretty sure it was already half empty when we got it.” Edward raises an eyebrow and you avert your eyes. You’ve going through too much to handle facing him head on.

* “(Y/N), what’s going on, this isn’t like you” He let’s out a long sigh.

* Why did you drink so much?

* Maybe if he wasn’t so wrapped up in that human he would realize-

* Realize what? Where was that sentence going?

* You remember seeing Edward and Bella talk, the smile he gave her-

* No you can’t think about that right now

* “Nothing’s going on,” he looks at you skeptically and you look back to the ground “I just-I just want you to be happy Eddie.”

* He scoffs

* “You have a funny way of showing it.” He’s about to move back but your hand reaches out to stop him, resting on his forearm

* “No I really want you to be happy Edward, and I see the way you look at her-“

* “What?”

* “And I want you to know that it’s okay!” Your eyes stay fixed on his chest, the pocket of his shirt. “I know everyone around us, including Carlisle, have been hoping we would end up together, but don’t worry about that. You can say it was me if you need to, and-“

* He stops you by placing both of his hand on your face, your eyes meeting his.

* “What are you talking about?”

* This time you’re the one that scoffs

* “Bella of course,” he lets out some noise of disbelief, a mix of a scoff and a snicker

* “Bella? You think I love Bella?” He’s laughing at you! The criminal is laughing at you!

* “Im not stupid Edward!”

* “When have I ever said I have feelings for Bella?”

* “You don’t have to! I see the way you look at her! Like just now-when you were up by the stairwell, you looked at her like she was the only person in the room.”

* He doesn’t scoff now and he averts his eyes. You feel your heart sink a little.

* It’s okay, this is for the best.

* Bella’s going to give him everything he wants.

* Even a baby.

* You can’t give him that.

* “Oh my god Bella! She probably has the totally wrong idea! We have to go back, we have to-“ you’re already moving when you feel Edward grasp your arm, holding you back.

* Your eyebrows thread together in confusion

* “Edward what are you doing? We have to-“

* “I don’t love Bella” he interrupts.

* You’re confused, and then you’re angry.

* Is he lying to you? Straight to your face after you’ve already told him you know everything? Why even bother? What is he trying to save his pride or something, because you’re 100% sure that Bella’s feeling it just as much as he is

* “You don’t need to lie to me Edward-“

* “I’m not lying!” He tugs you closer, the bottle of vodka falling to the ground with a clang.

* You’re caged in his arms, each of his hands is holding your by the elbow. His gold eyes look straight into yours

* “There’s only one person I’ve ever loved,” a gentle smile curls onto his mouth. “They’re impossibly stubborn, when they get an idea in their mind. And they have no sense of self preservation whatsoever.”

* This sounds like Bella. Is this a trick or something?

* His eyes get warm as he looks down at you, his lips twitching as his smile widens

* “But they’re also very compassionate, they’re someone with endless amounts of hope, and everything around them is so-different- so fun! They make me feel....”

* he’s been inching closer this entire time, your chest is practically pressed against his.

* “Human” he finishes with a grin

* His forehead presses against yours and you feel butterflies erupt in your stomach.

* “I’m in love with you, (Y/N), it’s always been you.”

* Before you have time to process the bombshell Edward just dropped on you, Edward moves an inch closer and places his lips over your own.

* Your eyes are open at first, mostly from shock, but they drift close when Edward’s hand trails down the edge of you face, resting on your cheek.

* His kiss is so different from Mike and Conner’s kisses.

* Their kiss had been passionate, almost possessive.

* But Edward’s kiss- his kiss makes you feel safe.

* His hand rests on the small of your back, the other lightly touches the side of your face.

* It’s firm, but you know if you didn’t like his touch, if you wanted it to stop, you could end it anytime.

* He’s leaving you an escape

* He’s still your Edward, Your kind, considerate Edward.

* If you were human tears would prickle the corner of your eyes.

* Instead you stand on your toes, wrapping your arms around his neck to bring him in even closer.

* You’re seeing stars when he finally pulls away, and in your daze you actually follow him, stealing one last peck.

* You stand tall, looking straight into his eyes, he’s got the biggest goofiest grin you’ve ever seen

* Even goofier than the one he had when you said you would move with him to Forks.

* “Um, so how was I compared to Mike and Connor?”

* You roll your eyes, he’s still trying to lighten the mood with dumb jokes

* You doubt he needs you to answer. He knows you loved it. He’s so happy he’s glowing. You feel almost feel dizzy looking at him.

* And there’s a million things you want to say to him, but you don’t say any of them.

* Instead you lean over and puke all over his shoes.

* “That bad huh?”

BONUS:

* “Was it just me, or were they like really cold?” Mike asks, his lips still feel a little numb

* “Yeah, but I kind of liked it, it’s like ice play.” Conner grins, and then spares a glance to his friend “How you doing over there Jess thinking of coming down anytime soon?”

* Jessica’s got the widest goofiest grin on her face, her fingers trailing her lips every so often.

* Bella sits beside her with her mouth pinched into a frown

* “It’s always the blonde’s that have all the fun” She mumbles

Tags:  @moonlights27​ @thebluetint​ @the100thtwilight​ @awesomebooklover17​ @oneofthepotterheads​ @smileygirl08​ @imdoingathingmom​ @iconicgguk​ @yrawn​ @alyciaswhore​ @little-horror-show​ @wicked-watering-can​ @lazydreamers​ @ xxxmuxxx @ideas-for-you-to-adopt​​​ @poisoinedhope @maryleigh8796​​ @moose-squirrel-asstiel​​ @hotmessgoodness​ @jaimewho​ @corabmarie​ @what-am-i-doing10​ @alluring-venus​ @imdoingathingmom​

[missymurphy1985]

The Medic (part one)

Warning - accident / injury

A/N - I've taken a little liberty on the plot of Peaky... This scene totally didn't happen in real life but I needed it for this so... Forgive me?

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @peakyciills @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @cilleveryone @peaky-cillian @misselsbells06 @datewithgianni @heidimoreton

"Y/n, it's a few days helping at a film shoot, not open heart surgery!!" Your friend Kate laughed from the bottom of the stairs as you lugged a suitcase down them.

"You know, you could be helping me instead of standing there mocking me..." You groaned. Yes the suitcase might have been a slight over exaggeration, but your years as an A&E doctor had taught you to always be prepared, and expect the unexpected.

You and Kate jumped in her car and headed up the M6 to Liverpool from your hometown of Stoke on Trent. Kate was the onset medic for series 4 of Peaky Blinders, and she'd asked you to come help while her colleague was on leave. You had booked the week off work, and with no other plans you decided to go for it. A few hours a day dealing with the odd graze or cut, as oppose to heart attacks and broken bones? Still sounded like a holiday in your book!

After a doze in the car, she nudged you as you pulled into the hotel car park. The Titanic Hotel - Five Star luxury, indoor pool and gym.. and all paid for by the Peaky producers? You were in for a fun week!

"Oh and don't forget a week with Cillian Murphy..." Kate grinned.

"Oh behave, he's not even that good looking!"

"Wait til you see him in person. My GOD those eyes are intense."

"Sounds like someone's got a crush themselves!"

"Babe if I wasn't married I'd be riding that man like a fucking horse. Come on - we need to check in and unpack. Anto called me earlier, dinner's in an hour."

After unpacking your ridiculously heavy suitcase full of medical equipment, you quickly showered and changed into your black jeans and dark purple blouse. Putting the finishing touches to your makeup, Kate rushing you again.

"Okay, okay I'm ready!!" You laughed, grabbing your handbag and following her down the stairs to the restaurant.

The restaurant was huge.. you were led by the waiter to a back room sealed off from the other guests. As you walked inside you couldn't help but gasp at the people in front of you. The full cast were there - Paul, Sophie, Finn, Natasha... You felt so starstruck you didn't even notice Harry walk over to Kate and hug her in front of you.

"Y/n? You in there?" She asked, laughing at your gormless face.

"What? Oh sorry! Yes, I'm fine, just... No I'm fine. Totally fine."

Harry held out his hand and introduced himself, you took it and smiled.

"He's not here yet." Kate whispered as Harry headed to the bar. You rolled your eyes - where she'd got this fixation about you being attracted to a man you had barely heard of before Peaky Blinders, you'd never know.

The bell in the corner of the room suddenly rang, calling everyone to their seats for dinner. You checked the table plan and sat down on the table marked 'The Garrison', Kate heading to the one marked 'Charlies Yard'. Taking your seat before everyone else, you felt extremely nervous, until the seat next to you was pulled out and they sat beside you.

"You're new?" He asked, sitting down. You glanced to your right into a pair of ocean blue eyes. Cillian Murphy himself had just sat himself down at your table, right next to you.

"I am indeed - the new medic. Covering Louise while she's on leave. I'm Y/n."

"Cillian. Good to meet you. Hopefully, and I mean this in the nicest possible way, I won't see too much of you. Can't say the same for my costars..."

"Oh god, why?" You chuckled.

"I broke someone's nose in series one, stomped on a foot in series two, and last series I think I punched Tom Hardy..."

"Right, so I need to be onset at the same time you are then?"

"Highly recommended!" He laughed. Well you'd never admit it, but Kate was right. Those eyes in person certainly were mesmerising...

************************************************************

The following morning you were geared up and ready to go. The set was ready, actors in place. The scene was to be quite the spectacle. Tommy and Arthur in the Garrison, with one of the Peaky Boys who'd betrayed them. The shot would be fired into the ceiling via the man's head. Easy. That easy, you were certain you wouldn't be needed, but your contract stated you or Kate needed to be present at all times, so here you were. Kate was on a different set.

You watched it play out in front of you - it was fascinating seeing it live. Cillian's acting truly was out of this world, you were awestruck. The gun was fired into the ceiling - a warning shot before the man was actually hit. What surprised you was the live round that had been used - you weren't sure if that was planned or someone had loaded it wrong, but it was definitely real. No one batted an eyelid though, so must've been planned... what happened next was certainly not planned.

Dust trickled from above Cillian, light enough for him not to notice, but under the lighting you could see it. You looked up and saw it - the ceiling was crumbling. You knew a set like this used serious rigging to hold it up, but that rigging looked severely unstable right now trying to hold a ceiling up that was on a mission to come down... Right over the boys heads...

"Stop filming, get out of the way!!!" You screamed but it was too late. Within seconds, the rigging, the ceiling, the light fixtures... All of it fell to the floor. Anto held you back, powerless to stop it. As the dust settled you looked at the set, hoping against hope no one had been hit. Paul was at the bar, most of it missing him apart from what looked like a graze on his arm. The traitor boy had quickly fled out of the way and was unharmed.

Where was Cillian?

[ginjointsintheworld]

God I’m so with you on never moving on from Leyren. Because like. Is the drama manufactured? Yes. Is it still breaking my heart? Big yes. Like yeah it’s unnecessary and the show’s handled things really badly and inconsistently(so far)but tearing them apart doesn’t erase the love they had and the life they were building together IMO. Even if they don’t make it I’ll still always have them in the ‘one that got away’ category because the love was and is, still there idc. And it’s not like I didn’t try to branch out but idk the current wlw ships spark negative joy for me. I love that there’s so much choice out there rn but I’ve really just been perusing my old fandoms while NA’s been on break because nothing else gives me that buzz at the moment. Lauren and Leyla might be a big old messy mess but at least they’re not boring? Considering their, uh, dilemma, that’s not exactly a win but hey I’ll take it lol

frankly at this point the writers could could give them a "and they never saw each other again, the end" ending and i would still headcanon them finding their way back to each other because fuck that they're soulmates. but knock on wood that won't happen. tick tock, let's wrap this drama up and reconcile these nerds even if it has to be a little manufactured. i'm not above admitting i'd be okay with that. manufactured got them IN this mess, it can get them OUT 😤

i feel you anon, i've watched shows with ships where my brain logically knows it's a much better option to get Invested in but they just don't got me in the chokehold that leyren does. something about the way these two restless souls found each other in the most unexpected way and mustered the strength to unravel themselves for one another... yeah that shit sealed the deal for me. these other ships are nice to pass the time but me and my fingers are gonna be right back here crying into the tags when we get even a crumb of a scene when the show returns.

[96harmony96]

Chapter 1

I loved New York with the kind of mad passion I reserved for only one other thing in my life. The city was a microcosm of new world opportunities and old world traditions. Conservatives rubbed shoulders with bohemians. Oddities coexisted with priceless rarities. The pulsing energy of the city fueled international business bloodlines and drew people from all over the world.

And the embodiment of all that vibrancy, driving ambition, and world-renowned power had just screwed me to two toe-curlingly awesome orgasms.

As I padded over to her massive walk-in closet, I glanced at lauren jauregui’s sex-rumpled bed and shivered with remembered pleasure. My hair was still damp from a shower, and the towel wrapped around me was my only article of clothing. I had an hour and a half before I had to be at work, which was cutting it a little too close for comfort. Obviously, I was going to have to allot time in my morning routine for sex, otherwise I’d always be scrambling. Lauren woke up ready to conquer the world, and she liked to start that domination with me.

How lucky was I?

Because it was sliding into July in New York and the temperature was heating up, I chose a slim pair of pressed natural-linen slacks and a sleeveless poplin shell in a soft brown that matched my eyes. Since I had no hairstyling talent, I pulled my long drown hair back in a simple ponytail, then made up my face. When I was presentable, I left the bedroom.

I heard Lauren's voice the moment I stepped into the hallway. A tiny shiver moved through me when I realized she was angry, her voice low and clipped. she didn’t rile easily . . . unless she was ticked off with me. I could get her to raise her voice and curse, even shove her hands through her glorious shoulder-length mane of inky black hair.

For the most part, though, Lauren was a testament to leashed power. There was no need for her to shout when she could get people to quake in their shoes with just a look or a tersely spoken word.

I found her in her home office. She stood with her back to the door and a Bluetooth receiver in her ear. Her arms were crossed and she was staring out the windows of her Fifth Avenue penthouse apartment, giving the impression of a very solitary woman, an individual who was separate from the world around her, yet entirely capable of ruling it.

Leaning into the doorjamb, I drank her in. I was certain my view of the skyline was more awe-inspiring than her. My vantage point included her superimposed over those towering skyscrapers, an equally powerful and impressive presence. she’d finished her shower before I managed to crawl out of bed. her seriously addictive body was now dressed in two pieces of an expensively tailored three-piece suit—an admitted hot button of mine. The rear view of her showcased a perfect ass and a powerful back encased in a vest.

On the wall was a massive collage of photos of us as a couple and one very intimate one that she’d taken of me while I was sleeping. Most were pictures taken by the paparazzi who followed her every move. She was Lauren Jauregui, of Jauregui Industries, and at the ridiculous age of twenty-eight, she was one of the top twenty-five richest people in the world. I was pretty sure she owned a significant chunk of Manhattan; I was positive she was the hottest woman on the planet. And she kept photos of me everywhere she worked, as if I could possibly be as fun to look at as she was.

she turned, pivoting gracefully to catch me with her icy green gaze. Of course she’d known I was there, watching her. There was a crackling in the air when we were near each other, a sense of anticipation like the coiled silence before the boom of thunder. she’d probably deliberately waited a beat before facing me, giving me the opportunity to check her out because she knew I loved to look at her.

Dark and Dangerous. And all mine.

God . . . I never got used to the impact of that face. Those sculpted cheekbones and dark winged brows, the thickly lashed green eyes, and those lips . . . perfectly etched to be both sensual and wicked. I loved when they smiled with sexual invitation, and I shivered when they thinned into a stern line. And when she pressed those lips to my body, I burned for her.

Jeez, listen to yourself. My mouth curved, remembering how annoyed I used to get at pals who waxed poetic about their boyfriends’ good looks. But here I was, constantly awed by the gorgeousness of the complicated, frustrating, messed-up, sexy-as-sin woman I was falling deeper in love with every day.

As we stared at each other, her scowl didn’t lessen, nor did she cease speaking to the poor soul on the receiving end of her call, but her gaze warmed from its chilly irritation to scorching heat.

I should’ve gotten used to the change that came over her when she looked at me, but it still hit me with a force strong enough to rock me on my feet. That look conveyed how hard and deep she wanted to fuck me—which she did every chance she got—and it also afforded me a glimpse of her raw, unrelenting force of will. A core of strength and command marked everything Lauren did in life.

“See you at eight on Saturday,” she finished, before yanking off the earpiece and tossing it on her desk. “Come here, camila.”

Another shiver slid through me at the way she said my name, with the same authoritative bite she used when she said Come, Camila, while I was beneath her . . . filled with her . . . desperate to climax for her . . .

“No time for that, ace.” I backed into the hallway, because I was weak where she was concerned. The soft rasp in her smooth, cultured voice was nearly capable of making me orgasm just listening to it. And whenever she touched me, I caved.

I hurried to the kitchen to make us some coffee.

she muttered something under her breath and followed me out, her long stride easily gaining on mine. I found myself pinned to the hallway wall by a six feet, two inches of hard, hot male.

“You know what happens when you run, angel.” Lauren nipped my lower lip with her teeth and then soothed the sting with the caress of her tongue. “I catch you.”

Inside me, something sighed with happy surrender and my body went lax with pleasure at being pressed so close to her. I craved her constantly, so deeply it was a physical ache. What I felt was lust, but it was also so much more. Something so precious and profound that Lauren's lust for me wasn’t the trigger it would’ve been with another man. If anyone else had attempted to subdue me with the weight of their body, I would’ve freaked out. But it had never been an issue with lauren. She knew what I needed and how much I could take.

The sudden flash of her grin stopped my heart.

Confronted with that breathtaking face framed by that lustrous dark hair, I felt my knees weaken just a little. She was so polished and urbane except for the decadent length of those silky strands.

she nuzzled her nose against mine. “You can’t smile at me like that, then walk away. Tell me what you were thinking about when I was on the phone.”

My lips twisted wryly. “How gorgeous you are. It’s sickening how often I think about that. I need to get over it already.”

she cupped the back of my thigh and urged me tighter against her, teasing me with an expert roll of her hips against mine. She was outrageously gifted in bed. And she knew it. “Damn if I’ll let you.”

“Oh?” Heat slid sinuously through my veins, my body too greedy for the feel of her. “You can’t tell me you want another starry-eyed woman hanging on you, Miss. Hates-Exaggerated-Expectations.”

“What I want,” she purred, cupping my jaw and rubbing my bottom lip with the pad of her thumb, “is you being too busy thinking about me to think about anyone else.”

I pulled in a slow and shaky breath. I was completely seduced by the smoldering look in her eyes, the provocative tone of her voice, the heat of her body, and the mouthwatering scent of her skin. She was my drug, and I had no desire to kick the habit.

“Lauren,” I breathed, entranced.

With a soft groan, she sealed her chiseled mouth over mine, stealing away thoughts of what time it was with a lush, deep kiss . . . a kiss that almost succeeded in distracting me from seeing the insecurity she’d just revealed.

I pushed my fingers into her hair to hold her still and kissed her back, my tongue sliding along her, stroking. We’d been a couple for such a short period of time. Less than a month. Worse, neither of us knew how to have a relationship like the one we were attempting to build—a relationship in which we refused to pretend we weren’t both seriously broken.

her arms banded around me and tightened possessively. “I wanted to spend the weekend with you down in the Florida Keys—naked.”

“Umm, sounds nice.” More than nice. As big of a kick as I got out of Lauren in a three-piece suit, I much preferred her stripped to the skin. I avoided pointing out that I wouldn’t be available this weekend . . .

“Now I’ve got to spend the weekend taking care of business,” she muttered, her lips moving against mine.

“Business you put off to be with me?” she’d been leaving work early to spend time with me, and I knew that had to be costing her. My mother was in her third marriage, and all of her spouses were successful, wealthy moguls of one kind or another. I knew the price for ambition was very late hours.

“I pay other people a generous salary so I can be with you.”

Nice dodge, but noting the flash of irritation in her gaze, I distracted her. “Thank you. Let’s get some coffee before we run out of time.”

Lauren stroked her tongue along my bottom lip, then released me. “I’d like to get off the ground by eight tomorrow night. Pack cool and light. Arizona’s got dry heat.”

“What?” I blinked at her retreating back as it disappeared into her office. “Arizona is where your business is?”

“Unfortunately.”

Uh . . . whoa. Instead of risking my shot at coffee, I postponed arguing and continued on to the kitchen. I passed through Lauren's spacious apartment with its stunning prewar architecture and slender arched windows, my heels alternately clicking over gleaming hardwood and muffled by Aubusson rugs. Decorated in dark woods and neutral fabrics, the luxurious space was brightened by jeweled accents. As much as her place screamed money, it managed to remain warm and welcoming, a comfortable place to relax and feel pampered.

When I reached the kitchen, I wasted no time in shoving a travel mug under the one-cup coffeemaker. Lauren joined me with her jacket draped over one arm and her cell phone in her hand. I put another portable mug under the spout for her before I went to the fridge for some half-and-half.

“It might be fortunate after all.” I faced her and reminded her of my roommate issue. “I need to knock heads with Cary this weekend.”

Lauren dropped her phone in the inner pocket of her jacket, then hung the garment off the back of one of the bar stools at the island. “You’re coming with me, camila.”

Exhaling in a rush, I added half-and-half to my coffee. “To do what? Lie around naked, waiting for you to finish work and fuck me?”

her gaze held mine as she collected her mug and sipped her steaming coffee with too-calm deliberation. “Are we going to argue?”

“Are you going to be difficult? We talked about this. You know I can’t leave Cary after what happened last night.” The multibody tangle I’d found in my living room gave new meaning to the word clusterfuck.

I put the carton back in the fridge and absorbed the sensation of being drawn to her inexorably by the force of her will. It’d been that way from the beginning. When she chose to, Lauren could make me feel her demands. And it was very, very difficult to ignore the part of me that begged to give her whatever she wanted. “You’re going to take care of business and I’m going to take care of my best friend, then we’ll go back to taking care of each other.”

“I won’t be back until Sunday night, camila.”

Oh . . . I felt a sharp twinge in my belly at hearing we’d be apart that long. Most couples didn’t spend every free moment together, but we weren’t like most people. We both had hang-ups, insecurities, and an addiction to each other that required regular contact to keep us functioning properly. I hated being apart from her. I rarely went more than a couple of hours without thinking of her.

“You can’t stand the thought, either,” she said quietly, studying me in that way she had that saw everything. “By Sunday we’ll both be worthless.”

I blew on the surface of my coffee, then took a quick sip. I was unsettled at the thought of going the entire weekend without her. Worse, I hated the thought of her spending that amount of time away from me. She had a world of choices and possibilities out there, women who weren’t so screwed up and difficult to be with.

Still, I managed to say, “We both know that’s not exactly healthy, lauren.”

“Says who? No one else knows what it’s like to be us.”

Okay, I’d give her that.

“We need to get to work,” I said, knowing this impasse was going to drive both of us crazy all day. We’d sort it out later, but for now we were stuck with it.

Resting her hip against the counter, she crossed her ankles and stubbornly settled in. “What we need is for you to come with me.”

“lauren.” My foot began to tap against the travertine tile. “I can’t just give up my life for you. If I turn into arm candy, you’ll get bored real quick. Hell, I’d get sick of myself. It shouldn’t kill us to spend a couple days straightening out other parts of our lives, even if we hate doing it.”

her gaze captured mine. “You’re too much trouble to be arm candy.”

“Takes a troublemaker to know one.”

Lauren straightened, shrugging off her brooding sensuality and instantly capturing me with her severe intensity. So mercurial—like me. “You’ve gotten a lot of press lately, camila. It’s no secret that you’re in New York. I can’t leave you here while I’m gone. Bring Cary with us if you have to. You can butt heads with him while you’re waiting for me to finish work and fuck you.”

“Ha.” Even as I acknowledged her attempt to lighten the strain with humor, I realized what her real objection to being apart from me was—Nathan. My former stepbrother. The living nightmare from my past that Lauren seemed to fear might reappear in my present. It frightened me to concede that she wasn’t totally wrong. The shield of anonymity that had protected me for years had been shattered by our highly public relationship.

God . . . we totally didn’t have the time to get into that mess, but I knew it wasn’t a point Lauren would concede on. She was a woman who claimed her possessions utterly, fought off her competitors with ruthless precision, and would never allow any harm to come to me. I was her safe place, which made me rare and invaluable to her.

Lauren glanced at her watch. “Time to go, angel.”

She fetched her jacket, then gestured for me to precede her through her luxurious living room, where I grabbed my purse and the bag holding my walking shoes and other necessities. A few moments later, we’d finished the descent to the ground floor in her private elcamilator and slid into the back of her black Bentley SUV.

“Hi, Angus,” I greeted her driver, who touched the brim of his old-fashioned chauffeur’s hat.

“Good morning, Miss.Cabello,” he replied, smiling. He was an older gentleman, with a liberal sprinkling of white in his red hair. I liked him for a lot of reasons, not the least of which was the fact that he’d been driving Lauren around since grade school and genuinely cared for her.

A quick glance at the Rolex my mother and stepfather had given me told me I’d make it to work on time . . . if we didn’t get boxed in by traffic. Even as I thought this, Angus slid deftly into the sea of taxis and cars on the street. After the tense quiet of Lauren's apartment, the noise of Manhattan woke me as effectively as a jolt of caffeine. The blaring of horns and the thud of tires over a manhole cover invigorated me. Rapid-moving streams of pedestrians flanked both sides of the clogged street, while buildings stretched ambitiously toward the sky, keeping us in shadow even as the sun climbed.

God, I seriously loved New York. I took the time every day to absorb it, to try to draw it into me.

I settled into the leather seat back and reached for Lauren's hand, giving it a squeeze. “Would you feel better if Cary and I left town for the weekend? Maybe a quick trip to Vegas?”

Lauren's gaze narrowed. “Am I a threat to Cary? Is that why you won’t consider Arizona?”

“What? No. I don’t think so.” Shifting in the seat, I faced her. “Sometimes it takes an all-nighter before I can get him to open up.”

“You don’t think so?” She repeated my answer, ignoring everything but the first words out of my mouth.

“He might feel like he can’t reach out to me when he needs to talk because I’m always with you,” I clarified, steadying my mug with two hands as we drove over a pothole. “Listen, you’re going to have to get over any jealousy about Cary. When I say he’s like a brother to me, Lauren, I’m not kidding. You don’t have to like him but you have to understand that he’s a permanent part of my life.”

“Do you tell him the same thing about me?”

“I don’t have to. He knows. I’m trying to reach a compromise here—”

“I never compromise.”

My brows rose. “In business, I’m sure you don’t. But this is a relationship, lauren. It requires give and—”

Lauren's growl cut me off. “My plane, my hotel, and if you leave the premises you take a security team with you.”

Her sudden, reluctant capitulation surprised me silent for a long minute. Long enough for her brow to arch over those piercing green eyes in a look that said take it or leave it.

“Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?” I prodded. “I’ll have Cary with me.”

“You’ll forgive me if I don’t trust him with your safety after last night.” As she drank her coffee, her posture made it very clear that the conversation was done in her mind. she’d given me her acceptable options.

I might’ve gotten bitchy about that kind of high-handedness if I didn’t understand that taking care of me was her motivation. My past had vicious skeletons, and dating Lauren had put me in a media spotlight that could bring Nathan Barker right to my door.

Plus, controlling everything around her was just part of who Lauren was. It came with the package and I had to make accommodations for that.

“Okay,” I agreed. “Which hotel is yours?”

“I have a few. You can take your pick.” she turned her head to look out the window. “Scott will email you the list. When you’ve decided, let him know and he’ll make the arrangements. We’ll fly out together and return together.”

Leaning my shoulder into the seat, I took a drink of my coffee and noted the way her hand was fisted on her thigh. In the tinted window’s reflection, Lauren's face was impassive, but I could feel her moodiness.

“Thank you,” I murmured.

“Don’t. I’m not happy about this, camila.” A muscle in her jaw twitched. “Your roommate fucks up and I have to spend the weekend without you.”

Hating that she was unhappy, I took her coffee from her and set our travel mugs in the backseat cup holders. Then I climbed into her lap, straddling her. I draped my arms around her shoulders. “I appreciate you bending on this, lauren. It means a lot to me.”

she caught me in her fierce green gaze. “I knew you were going to drive me insane the moment I saw you.”

I smiled, recalling how we’d met. “Sprawled on my ass on the lobby floor of the Crossfire Building?”

“Before. Outside.”

Frowning, I asked, “Outside where?”

“On the sidewalk.” Lauren gripped my hips, squeezing in that possessive, commanding way of her that made me ache for her. “I was leaving for a meeting. A minute later and I would’ve missed you. I’d just gotten into the car when you came around the corner.”

I remembered the Bentley idling at the curb that day. I’d been too awed by the building to take note of the sleek vehicle when I arrived, but I had noticed it when I left.

“You hit me the instant I saw you,” she said gruffly. “I couldn’t look away. I wanted you immediately. Excessively. Almost violently.”

How could I not have known that there’d been more to our first meeting than I’d realized? I thought we’d stumbled across each other by accident. But she’d been leaving for the day . . . which meant she had deliberately backtracked inside. For me.

“You stopped right next to the Bentley,” she went on, “and your head tilted back. You were looking up at the building and I pictured you on your knees, looking up at me that same way.”

The low growl in Lauren's voice had me squirming in her lap. “What way?” I whispered, mesmerized by the fire in her eyes.

“With excitement. A little awe . . . a little intimidation.” Cupping my rear, she urged me tighter against her. “There was no way to stop myself from following you inside. And there you were, right where I’d wanted you, damn near kneeling in front of me. In that minute, I had a half dozen fantasies about what I was going to do to you when I got you naked.”

I swallowed, remembering my similar reaction to her. “Looking at you for the first time made me think about sex. Screaming, sheet-clawing sex.”

“I saw that.” her hands slid up either side of my spine. “And I knew you saw me, too. Saw what I am . . . what I have inside me. You saw right through me.”

And that was what had knocked me on my ass—literally. I’d looked into her eyes and realized how tightly reined she was, what a shadowed soul she had. I had seen power and hunger and control and demand. Somewhere inside me, I’d known she would take me over. It was a relief to know she’d felt the same upheaval over me.

Lauren's hands hugged my shoulder blades and pulled me closer, until our foreheads touched. “No one’s ever seen before, camila. You’re the only one.”

My throat tightened painfully. In so many ways, Lauren was a hard woman, yet she could be so sweet to me. Almost childishly so, which I loved because it was pure and uncontrolled. If no one else bothered to look beyond her striking face and impressive bank account, they didn’t deserve to know her. “I had no idea. You were so . . . cool. I didn’t seem to affect you at all.”

“Cool?” she scoffed. “I was on fire for you. I’ve been fucked up ever since.”

“Gee. Thanks.”

“You made me need you,” she rasped. “Now I can’t stand the thought of two days without you.”

Holding her jaw in my hands, I kissed her tenderly, my lips coaxing and apologetic. “I love you, too,” I whispered against her beautiful mouth. “I can’t stand being away from you, either.”

her returning kiss was greedy, devouring, and yet the way she held me close to her was gentle and reverent. As if I were precious. When she pulled back, we were both breathing hard.

“I’m not even your type,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood before we went into work. Lauren's preference for blondes was well known and well documented.

I felt the Bentley pull over and to a halt. Angus got out of the car to give us privacy, leaving the engine and air-conditioning running. I looked out the window and saw the Crossfire beside us.

“About the type thing—” Lauren's head fell back to rest against the seat. She took a deep breath. “Corinne was surprised by you. You weren’t what she’d expected.”

My jaw tightened at the mention of Lauren's former fiancée. Even knowing that their relationship had been about friendship and loneliness for her, not love, didn’t stop the claws of envy from digging into me. Jealousy was one of my virulent flaws. “Because I’m brunette?”

“Because . . . you don’t look like her.”

My breath caught. I hadn’t considered that Corinne had set the standard for her. Even Magdalene Perez—one of Lauren's friends who wished she were more—had said she’d kept her light hair long to emulate Corinne. But I hadn’t grasped the complexity of that observation. My God . . . if it was true, Corinne had tremendous power over Lauren, way more than I could bear. My heart rate quickened and my stomach churned. I hated her irrationally. Hated that she’d had even a piece of her. Hated every woman who’d known her touch . . . her lust . . . her amazing body.

I started sliding off her.

“camila.” She stayed me by tightening her grip on my thighs. “I don’t know if she’s right.”

I looked down at where she held me, and the sight of my promise ring on the finger of her right hand—my brand of ownership—calmed me. So did the look of confusion on her face when I met her gaze. “You don’t?”

“If that’s what it was, it wasn’t conscious. I wasn’t looking for her in other women. I didn’t know I was looking for anything until I saw you.”

My hands slid down her lapels as relief filled me. Maybe she hadn’t been consciously looking for her, but even if she had, I couldn’t be more different from Corinne in appearance and temperament. I was unique to her; a woman apart from her others in every way. I wished that could be enough to kill my jealousy.

“Maybe it wasn’t a preference so much as a pattern.” I smoothed her frown line with a fingertip. “You should ask Dr. Petersen when we see her tonight. I wish I had more answers after all my years of therapy, but I don’t. There’s a lot that’s inexplicable between us, isn’t there? I still have no idea what you see in me that’s hooked you.”

“It’s what you see in me, angel,” she said quietly, her features softening. “That you can know what I have in me and still want me as much as I want you. I go to sleep every night afraid I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone. Or that I scared you away . . . that I dreamed you—”

“No. lauren.” Jesus. She broke my heart every day. Shattered me.

“I know I don’t tell you how I feel about you in the same way you tell me, but you have me. You know that.”

“Yes, I know you love me, lauren.” Insanely. Outrageously. Obsessively. Just like my feelings for her.

“I’m caught up with you, camila.” With her head tilted back, Lauren pulled me down for the sweetest of kisses, her firm lips moving gently beneath mine. “I’d kill for you,” she whispered, “give up everything I own for you . . . but I won’t give you up. Two days is my limit. Don’t ask for more than that; I can’t give it to you.”

I didn’t take her words lightly. her wealth insulated her, gave her the power and control that had been stolen from her at some point in her life. she’d suffered brutality and violation, just as I had. That she would consider it worthwhile to lose her peace of mind just to keep me meant more than the words I love you.

“I just need the two days, ace, and I’ll make them worth your while.”

The starkness of her gaze bled away, replaced by sexual heat. “Oh? Planning on pacifying me with sex, angel?”

“Yes,” I admitted shamelessly. “Lots of it. After all, the tactic seems to work well for you.”

her mouth curved, but her gaze had a sharpness that quickened my breath. The dark look she gave me reminded me—as if I could forget—that Lauren wasn’t a man who could be managed or tamed.

“Ah, Camila,” she purred, sprawled against the seat with the predatory insouciance of a sleek panther who’d neatly trapped a mouse in her den.

A delicious shiver moved through me. When it came to Lauren, I was more than willing to be devoured.

[corpse--diem]

[meta anon] How important was your faceclaim during the creation of your character? Did you have them in mind from the beginning or were they chosen after?

Erin's faceclaim was the literal last thing I figured out for the initial bio app. It's always felt more natural to me to pick an FC after I've laid out a foundation for the character so I know what to look for. I'm also a very visual person so finding someone who matches the tone I've developed in my head in a realistic way was super important to me too.

Erin was actually an original character I played years and years ago in a Buffy RP with a TWD-flavored Lauren Cohan as her original FC. Previously she was a human, wanna-be slayer who worked in a graveyard so she could fight the good fight, honor her mom and protect people from evil. While I kept some themes and attributes from Erin 1.0, she ended up becoming almost a whole new character and needed a fresh face to match. Rachel Weisz and Lizzy Caplan were on my shortlist too but there was something very relatabley human about Cobie's performance in Stumptown that sealed the deal for me. She really just captured that "fallible, stressed, but hella determined and increasingly pissed off normie whose world has been turned upside down and it really fucking shows" vibe I was going for. Just look at her :/

[stryc-9]

Whenever you feel insecure about writing, remember Laura Neal was handed a whole ass TV show to ruin — you’re doing great!!

[into-control]

🌹 camren recap of 2019: part 1 (january - march)

(1) (2) (3) (4)

this post contains almost everything to do with camren in 2019*. it also includes things about their respective PRs from this year, when relevant, and a little bit of OT5 is sprinkled in as well. this year i am keeping things in chronological order unlike last year, and entries that take place over the course of multiple days will be grouped together according to the first day.

*disclaimer: some of these things very well may be coincidences, but are included anyways because we all love lauren and camila’s synchronicity.

without further adieu, let the games begin!

january 4th:

at the beginning of january, lauren went on a vacation to a resort in sedona, arizona. while it was mostly a trip dedicated to herself, it was highly speculated among the community that camila visited her. during this time, camila tweeted this, on the day she possibly returned home to miami:

what’s more is that during the entire duration of lauren’s stay in sedona, camila’s spotify activity (which at the time was always public) was set to private. on the day lauren returned (january 7th), so did the spotify activity:

january 5th:

lauren and camila were active on instagram at the same time:

(more of a sync moment)

january 6th:

dinah liked an instagram post with a peculiar caption:

january 7th:

about 12 hours after lauren posted a song on her story, camila listened to it on spotify:

on january 25th, lauren referenced the song again:

january 8th:

dinah reposted someone else’s post on her story where havana is playing in the background:

on the same day, lauren did an IG live where she told everyone she wrote more than that 2-3 years ago. previously lauren had lied about when she started writing music:

this can be further supported because in a story in 2017, lauren says she likes to write music in a bathroom.

january 11th:

in the instagram live to celebrate the release of more than that, lauren showed off the new earrings that were gifted to her on christmas. at first she simply said ‘baby’ got them for her, but then she panicked and clarified that person she was talking about is ty, and she looked disgusted to say it. link. because of this unneeded coverup, those earrings were likely from camila.

in other news, dinah liked something somewhat suggestive involving the sun and moon:

january 12th:

this is where camila’s lies began. in order to push the narrative that matthew was her first real relationship, on the anniversary of CAMILA, she said that the songs on the album were not based on real relationships:

we know that to be false for many reasons, but mainly because she said the exact opposite thing herself in her zach sang interview about a year earlier.

besides the anniversary of CAMILA, britney spears celebrated the 20th anniversary of baby one more time on the same day. lauren just so happened to follow her and like her post about it:

though a reach, it was speculated that this was a nod towards camila and not only britney.

january 15th:

lauren kind of shaded her label columbia by liking a post discussing how they don’t allow ‘risky’ material and that earl sweatshirt feels ‘free’ now that he isn’t signed to them:

that day, a low quality video of camila and matthew attempting to be affectionate in what looks to be a candid setting (which is isn’t) circulated:

the following day, lauren tweeted this, possibly directed at how inorganic PR relationships are:

january 17th

during the hilarity of the world record egg, jayecane on twitter gave themselves that display name, and camila followed them while they were obsessively spamming about lauren:

january 18th:

in an IG story about the more than that music video, the bad things music video was present in lauren’s suggestions:

taking youtube’s algorithm and bad things’ release date into consideration, this suggests that lauren frequently watches camila’s videos.

january 26th:

coincidence?

january 27th:

at 1:55pm EST, camila posted a video of a boy singing a song on her story, which included the lyrics “i’ll be right next to you”. link

exactly one minute later at 1:56pm, lauren posted this:

january 30th:

in her beats1 interview, lauren revealed that her and ty had spent three months apart in the spring/summer of 2018 when things got busy. however, lauren and ty were seen together at least once a month that year. creds to totallylost4you for compiling this evidence.

a slightly more fitting scenario would be lauren and camila being apart for three months at a time. the never be the same tour started in spring, and that, as well as the reputation stadium tour, carried on into the summer:

almost exactly three months after april 9th, camila had a week long break:

january 31st:

lauren told us to shut the fuck up:

same day, camila posted this to twitter and instagram:

about an hour later, lauren seemingly replied. as january was a rather quiet month for both girls, it felt less than coincidental for a lot of people:

on february 13th, lauren liked this post on instagram, which really sealed the deal:

this indirect went on to be a reference to dream of you off of romance.

february 8th:

camila listened to sweet disposition from one of her moon playlists:

february 10th (the GRAMMYs lightning round):

coincidence?

who are you talking about dinah?

dinah jane strikes again!

lauren’s turn now:

february 12th:

arturo sandoval, the trumpet player from the grammys havana performance, liked a camren post:

camila was on lauren’s IG feed (haha):

february 14th:

lauren put another tally on the prison wall. tara got fake internet mad.

perhaps the most amusing part of this day was that ‘lauren’ posted a video to her story identical to the one ty posted about 18 hours beforehand... in the middle of their dinner she was posting about. spoiler alert, someone accidentally posted the video that was only meant for ty to post on lauren’s story.

february 18/24th:

roses:

maybe a small coincidence:

camila’s got a ‘boyfriend’ anyway:

february 19th:

lauren and ty took a jarring picture at a party and lauren posted it on her story except it was the one where one of the owners of laurmilaupates photoshopped ty out of it:

february 21st:

lauren liked amber rose’s video of her son singing havana:

february 23rd:

lauren missed her banana-loving girlfriend:

february 24th:

camila took one of lauren’s books:

february 26th:

hello dinah:

march 2nd:

keep that fingernail trimmed camila:

march 3rd:

snippets of camila’s birthday post that stuck out (?!!!):

lauren loves camila to pisces pieces:

march 4th:

camila listened to sweet disposition again, this time on her ‘love’ playlist:

march 5th:

we see you lauren:

i know somebody with ocean eyes, camila...

march 13th:

shotty photoshop alert:

march 17/24th:

a little too in sync:

they might have also walked the same trail in LA:

march 28th:

alejandro sanz posted multiple teasers for mi persona favorita’s music video, but camila only liked the one featuring two women in a romantic relationship:

march 29th:

mike liked a video of someone painting lauren and mi persona favorita was playing in the background:

part 2

[ponett]

Welp... it’s over. After nine years, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is over. I just got done watching the series finale with Anthony and, just like I knew I would, when the credits rolled, I cried my eyes out

I should probably say something, huh. I’ve been sharing thoughts like this mostly on Twitter lately, but I started using Tumblr to blog about MLP, so I don’t think it would be right to post this anywhere else

I have a complicated relationship with MLP:FiM. It’s a show that got really hit or miss after the second season, and it has a fandom so toxic and so full of edgy libertarians that it scared me off from formally participating in fandoms for the rest of my life. But it’s also probably my favorite TV show of all time. There are other shows that are much better written, that have more to say, that are more consistent, even including several other cartoons from the same decade. But I think I’d be lying to myself if I said it wasn’t my favorite show

No other piece of media has had as massive of an impact on my life as My Little Pony

I grew closer to some of my closest high school friends because of our shared enthusiasm for the show. I started PonyPokey with Jake and Derek and made a bunch of bad videos and got invited to be on a wildly disorganized BronyCon panel with Jenny Nicholson in 2012. (We went on stage immediately after Lauren Faust’s panel. I barely said a word due to stage fright.)

After years of being too afraid to share my art online, I started putting more effort into learning digital art so that I could draw ponies. It started out rough, but with the drive to improve, I quickly got better. I started Fluttershy Replies. For the first time, I had an audience. I had people who cared about my work and supported me. Even as times have changed, many of you have been following me since way back then

Around the time I came out as bi in 2012, I got really into MLP shipping. Writing sappy comics and drawing sappy art became an outlet for my years of pent up feelings, and helped me sort out a lot of stuff. My Little Pony also completely changed the views on femininity that had been beaten into my skull since childhood. Suddenly, it wasn’t this strange, alien thing to be afraid of. MLP, at its heart, is a show about how there’s no wrong way to be a girl. That’s an incredibly powerful message. Rarity wasn’t a vapid snob. Fluttershy wasn’t a background character who got made into the butt of the joke. Pinkie wasn’t a ditz. These were characters written to be empathized with. And writing about my own feelings from the perspective of Fluttershy felt... right. It took me a few years to fully process those feelings, but eventually, I realized the truth. I was a trans woman. And a cartoon about horses was the first step on my path to realizing this

In 2013, one of the roughest years of my life, I decided to download RPG Maker on a whim to give myself a distraction. Naturally, my first instinct was to make a game where Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash kiss. What was initially supposed to be a short, Fantastic Game-esque playground of silly little jokes spiraled out of control and became Super Lesbian Horse RPG, a game that I poured my heart and soul into over the course of a year. And then, a couple years later, my desire to preserve the ideas from my copyright-infringing fangame also spiraled out of control, as all my creative projects do, and became SLHRPG’s successor: Super Lesbian Animal RPG. SLARPG isn’t really a reskinned MLP fangame anymore--it’s more like a new game inspired in part by my old project. The story has been drastically rewritten, the characters changed, the levels and gameplay redesigned. Most of the cast of the new game wasn’t in the original project in any form. There’s much, much, much, much, much more new content than old left in the game. And the original game had already strayed so far from the canon anyway. But I’m also not sure it would exist without MLP

I made a bunch of friends online, including close friends I still have to this day. I met the people like Bee and Thomas who I’m still working with on SLARPG. Most importantly, because we both blogged about MLP and had some mutual friends, I met Anthony, the love of my life. We’ve been together for five years now and supported each other through good times and bad. This is the lamest, corniest, stupidest thing I will ever say in my life, but he’s the Rainbow Dash to my Fluttershy

...

So what about the finale itself? (spoilers, obviously)

I have... mixed feelings on the finale. There were some things that really annoyed me in there. But also, like I said, I cried, so I think it’s safe to say they did good overall

I think the thing that stuck in my craw the most was Discord. Which I guess shouldn’t be surprising. I’ve been saying for years now how I hate Discord, how he spits in the face of everything the show stands for. He’s an obnoxious elderly manchild who constantly causes problems on purpose and torments his so-called friends the second they stop paying attention to him. But they have to put up with him and give him infinite second chances, because he’s a god and Celestia said they had to reform him

The overarching plot of the final season is that Queen Chrysalis, King Sombra, Tirek, and Cozy Glow (a Darla Dimple-esque filly villain from season 8) had teamed up with Grogar, a “new” villain taken from G1. While this goes on in the background, Twilight is making her preparations to become Celestia’s successor, as we’d known would be her destiny since the day she got wings six years ago. The villain team-up stuff was genuinely fun, and a highlight of the season for me. But then, in the three-part finale, it’s revealed that Grogar was actually Discord in disguise, and that he’d been intentionally trying to orchestrate a big attack on Twilight’s coronation so that she and her friends could save the day and get a big confidence boost going into her reign as princess. This is like... one of the most bafflingly stupid plot twist of all time. It’s literally the end of the show, and Discord has learned nothing. He’s “nice” now, but he’s still intentionally causing huge problems and putting everyone’s lives in danger to solve his problems. He freed four different villains they’d already defeated just so Twilight could beat them again, and in the process they literally blew up the goddamn castle in Canterlot and nearly killed everyone. And yet... they still forgive him, because they have to

I did, however, think that the last two-part adventure episode was fun overall. It tied a nice bow on much of the series, bringing back a bunch of old friends (including cameos from the movie cast!) to band together and save the day. Of course, in the end, they beat the bad guys with a big rainbow laser and sealed them in a statue. You know, even though a previous season finale was all about how solving their problems with a friendship laser and sealing the villains away never worked. Also, Cozy Glow might be evil, but she’s still literally a child? And now her petrified body is on display in the center of Canterlot? What the fuck????

I’m complaining a lot, but again. It was fun overall. It was nice to have one last big adventure, and to have the mane six reflect on how they’d grown since Twilight moved to Ponyville

...

And then we got the actual final episode. And boy did this one hit me HARD

I’m so glad that they ended on a quieter episode about the main cast’s friendships, because that’s what the show is actually about. The two-part adventures to save Equestria every season are fun, but that’s not the real show. We all came back every week for Twilight and her friends

There are things I can complain about here, too. Spike being a buff adult dragon with the voice of a child is fucked up. I’m still not used to seeing Twilight be Celestia’s size. But more than anything, I was always worried that we’d get a Harry Potter ending, where all the characters are paired off into arbitrary marriages so they can all have kids. Thankfully, this didn’t really happen. The only one who had a kid was Pinkie, who apparently got married to Cheese Sandwich (Weird Al’s character) at some point. Like, they literally shared two episodes together, with no hint of romance? But then they got married and had a kid off-screen??? What the fuck???? A lot of people also think that Fluttershy ended up with Discord, and I know I’m massively biased against that ship, but... I mean, they teased the FlutterCord shippers, but there wasn’t really any actual textual evidence that they were any closer than they had been previously. Y’all weirdos who ship Fluttershy with an obnoxious elderly man can interpret that as being “canon” if you want, I guess, but it’s not

The other relationship that shocked everyone in the finale was Applejack and Rainbow Dash, who... appear to be a couple? It’s definitely hinted at. I have... very, very mixed feelings about this. I mean, okay, obivously I’m the big FlutterDash fangirl. But I think AppleDash is cute, too! The problem is that, like... they’ve barely interacted in years? Like, they had a lot of episodes together in the first two seasons, but then the writers barely ever had them interact past that point. I can’t even remember when the last time we got an actual episode focusing on them was. And no, the one where Rainbow takes Granny Smith to pony Vegas doesn’t count

Like... yeah, it’s cute. It’s a nice gesture. Lyra and Bon Bon getting married in the background was also cute. But we can do so, so much better in 2019. We have so many explicitly canon lesbian couples in cartoons. Couples that actually kissed, or got married, or showed feelings for each other. Rainbow and AJ barely even fucking talked to each other in the final few seasons. I dunno, it just feels very hollow to me. Even the Equestria Girls crew admitting they were pushing RariJack felt more substantial to me, because at least they were given on-screen chemistry and lots of canon interaction

But in the end, complaints aside, the finale was about Twilight moving back to Canterlot, and worrying that her friendships would fade because of it. Honestly, I think this is what the finale of the show always would’ve been. It was the perfect story to end on. And boy, it hit really close to home

And then the last song happens, reflecting on how things have changed, but how they’re all still friends. And we see all the other friends they made along the way. And the camera zooms out, and the book from the opening of the very first episode closes, bringing the entire nine-year saga full circle

And then I started sobbing really hard in Anthony’s arms

...

I dunno. I just got done nitpicking a lot, but I still think that the last episode was a good and very emotional ending for the show

I’m going to miss this show dearly. I know it will be back in a new form, and that the leaks indicate that it’ll still star slightly different versions of the Mane Six. I’m also used to shows like this getting rebooted. Hasbro cartoons are honestly lucky to last past three seasons. FiM, on the other hand, got over 200 episodes, a theatrical film, a few specials, some shorts, a bunch of comics (which I still need to read), and a spinoff human AU series that was also really great. There’s no shortage of content, and I’m sure I’ll be returning to the series for years to come. I’m also glad that the show managed to go out on a high note

But still. It was a constant presence in my life for nearly nine years. Even as the quality got really hit or miss, even as they took the premise in strange directions, even as the crew of the show grew more and more dominated by men, it was still a show I could rely on to always be there, 26 episodes a year. I’ll miss it. I hope what comes next is just as good, if not even better. I also hope it’s gayer

I was going to end my ask blog, Fluttershy Replies, around the time the show ended. I’m not sure if I’ll do that just yet. I don’t know. I think that might be a bit much for me to process emotionally. Too many doors closing in my life in quick succession. But I do want to do more with it. These characters will be special to me for the rest of my life

I mean shit, I haven’t even drawn StarTrix yet. I’ve still got a lot of work to do with these horses, folks

[four-way-road]

criminal minds as hogwarts houses

read: i’m bored and feel like psychoanalysis

hotch. this man is such a fucking hufflepuff. he’s such a bad bitch but would do anything for his family and friends?? quintessential hufflepuff, baby. the Holy Trinity™️ of hufflepuff traits are hardworking, fair, and loyal,, sounds a lot like (hot)ch, y’all

throwing my hat in the ring and saying rossi is a slytherin. his ambition has affected his life SO MUCH — he acts a lot like ya basic gryffindor (brave and idk the rest, etc etc), but being so achievement oriented has basically shaped this mans life?? “iLL trAdE mE fOR heR” is SUCH a resourceful adaptable slythin thing because he fully trusts ppl to save him. he trusts the BAU & that’s beautiful

reid, baby baby reid, is a ravenclaw through and through. pretty please don’t think it’s because he’s JUST smart, it’s his hunger for knowledge & sense of originality that really seals the deal.

ah yes, derek morgan, schödinger’s gryffindor. i was really caught up between hufflepuff (hardworking, cares about his friends) but i thought that gryffindor fit his ideals better? he was taught to launch himself into ~FUCKING~ fire because he cares about his friends, and he’s so passionate about them. love this man tbh

garcia!! she’s definitely a luna lovegood type ravenclaw even tho ppl seem to forget how goddamn SMART she is. she was put on a fbi watchlist at like?? 19? absolute legend. originality and creativity have always been her song and i feel like that’s why she really clicks with reid and morgan, yknow?

emily prentiss 🥺 i try not to be a simp but something about her screams gryffindor to me. she’s so brave it’s not even funny. she’s done everything she had to do for ppl she loves and the greater good mojo, like the whole lauren’s storyline.

okok don’t @ me but i feel like JJ is a BIG slytherin. she really values achievements and ambition (training, etc) and she’d so anything to protect the people she cares about. being slytherin doesn’t mean she’s a stone cold biatch who only cares about herself but ambition has made her grab & hold on to everything she really cares about in life. idk she’s an amazing lady and one i definitely admire, for her ambition and amazing mom-ness

that’s all folks don’t expect to tune in later, I Do Not Control The Hyperfixtation

[survivorwildwest]

Episode 5 - We’ll Get Through It

Colby looks defeated as Tsitsistas returns to camp. Michaela places a hand on his shoulder as she enters the shelter for the night. Colby nods in appreciation.

At high noon the next day, the tribes meet Jeff in town for the next reward challenge. “The thing about the Wild West,” Jeff starts, milking the theme for all its worth, “people were always coming and going, between towns, kind of like on Survivor. Everybody, drop your buffs.” 

Everyone throws their buff in the air and grabs a velvet bag from the barrel in front of them. They unwrap the velvet bags to reveal their new buffs. The buffs are designed to look like bandanas and don the Survivor: Wild West logo, which features a cowboy on horseback, horseshoes and a crude rendering of a desert landscape.

Jerri opens her velvet bag and says, “Teal.” Wendy opens hers, “Orange.” Russell opens his and looks at Jerri and Wendy, “Orange.” Jerri and Russell stare at each other as they separate, but Jerri stares a bit longer.

“Uh, Jeff. My buff is white,” Bi says.

“Yeah, mine too,” says Wardog.

“If your buff is white, you will be ditched.”

“What’s that mean?” Wardog shouts.

“You will be locked behind bars in the town square until the next immunity challenge, at which point, each of you will join your new tribes.”

The new tribes are, on Tsitsistas: Colby, Russell, Ben, Lauren, Wendy, Kass and Brandon. The new Suhtai is: Elizabeth, Michaela, Jerri, Ken, Todd, Carl and Hannah.

“Today’s challenge is for both reward and individual immunity. The last remaining member of each tribe will win individual immunity, and the last remaining person overall will win reward for their tribe: the opportunity to go to tribal council first and sit in on the other tribe’s while eating a feast of burgers, fries and whiskey and... this,” Jeff says, holding a darkened wine bottle, “to be opened later.”

Jeff stands before fourteen stationary oxen. One line of seven facing another. “For today’s challenge, you will sit on the back of this oxen. If you lose your balance, the oxen’s torso will rock back and forth until you fall off. Last person on their oxen for each tribe wins immunity.”

They each take their places and the challenge begins. Hannah falls almost immediately. After a few minutes, Carl falls, then Wendy. Russell drops soon after. Then, everyone else sustains a good posture. Kass begins to tip, distracting Brandon. Kass can’t recover. Brandon tries to not laugh, but the suppression backfires and throws off his balance. He falls into the desert sand below. Elizabeth swats a fly away and her ox begins to twist. She doesn’t recover. Colby slips and, in trying to reaffix himself, falls off. Lauren and Ben remain for Tsitsistas. Michaela loses her focus in the heat and falls off. Jerri looks over to make sure she’s okay, causing her ox to rock, throwing her off. Todd and Ken remain for Suhtai. Todd looks over at Ben and says, “Hey Ben. Do you want to do a winner’s alliance?”

Hannah and Michaela laugh from the bench as Ben yells, “No,” falling in his fervor.

Todd turns his attention and says, “Congratulations, Lauren.”

“Yeah,” Ken says, not trying to not break his focus, “Congratulations.”

“Thanks Ken,” Lauren says. Ken slips when he hears her and his ox begins to rock. “Thanks, Todd.”

“No problem,” Todd says, remaining stationary.

Ken clenches his thighs on the ox’s swinging body, but it’s too wet from his sweat. He can’t regain balance and slips off.

“Oh, man,” he says when he hits the ground.

“Lauren,” Todd says.

“Uh-huuuuh?”

“How important is going first to you guys?”

“Uh-huuuh...”

“It’s that important to you,” Todd asks, his ox beginning to rock.

“Yuuuup.”

“What do you want for it?”

“The bottle.”

“What,” he asks, his ox near shaking.

“I’ll let you guys go first if you give us the bottle.”

“What’s in the bottle?”

“Your win.”

“Okay, fine. Do it!”

Lauren bends forward, wrapping her arms around the ox’s neck as she slowly swings her leg over his torso. Jeff hands her and Todd individual immunity, then says, “Suhtai, you will attend tribal council first tonight, then watch Tsitsistas’ tribal council as you indulge in burgers and fries and whiskey.”

Todd rubs his belly.

“But, this,” he grabs the darkened wine bottle, “thanks to a trade made between Todd and Lauren, is going to Tsitsistas. You can open this back at camp as a tribe.”

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a coyote plays in the sand.

In jail, Wardog and Bi are locked behind bars in two separate cells in one room. They’re alone in the room but for one desk near the front door. After a few hours, Wardog is putting his white buff over his nose like a bandit.

“I’m like a real outlaw,” he says, pointing finger guns at Bi from across the jail, “pew, pew.”

“So, Wardog’s doing whatever he’s doing and I notice something on his buff,” Bi says in a talking head, “Our tribe buffs had cowboys and rope and a gun, but this one has a bow & arrow pointed at a star.” She holds the new buff up to show off the clue. “So, I started looking around for a star and I notice this toolbox on a shelf on the wall between us with a star painted on the side. I didn’t even see it until I was looking for it.” 

She heads to the corner of her cell, looks at the shelf overhead, and determines she can’t reach the toolbox. So, she uses the bed made of thin wooden planks as a step up to the center bar of the cell.

“Hey, what are you doing,” Wardog asks as he jots over to his side of the tool box.

Bi reaches through the bars and opens the toolbox. Inside, she finds two screwdrivers and two rolls of twine. She grabs one of the screwdrivers and looks over her cell. She notices the planks of wood making the bed she’s standing on have been screwed.

“And then it dawns on me,” Bi says in a talking head.

“Have you seen any keys?”

“Uh, what, no, keys,” Wardog asks, “We’re trapped in these cells until the next immunity challenge. That’s the whole point.”

“I don’t think it is,” Bi says, looking up from unscrewing the planks.

“Just, look for the keys for me, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, alright.”

Wardog surveys the room as Bi finishes disassembling her bed.

“Bi!”

“What?”

“Next to the door.”

Bi looks up from tying twine around the planks to see Wardog pointing at the front door of the Sheriff's office where they were trapped.

“Awesome. Thank you.”

She finishes building her pole arm and reaches it 20 feet across the office but it drops on the front desk, knocking a newspaper from the desk and onto the ground. She realigns the pole, this time resting it on the center bar of her jail cell. She crouches slightly to get the upward trajectory needed to reach the keys. She slips her pole through the keyring and lifts it so the keys slide into her hands. There are three keys on the keyring. Two are large, rusty, black keys, clearly meant for their cells, but the third is smaller and cleaner. Bi reaches around her bars and tries one of the keys in her own lock. It doesn’t work, so she tries the other. The metallic lock disengages as Bi twists it. She opens the door and frees Wardog. She holds up the third key. “We need to find whatever this unlocks.”

“It looks like a key for a safe.”

“I was thinking the same thing. Where would a Sheriff keep a safe?”

“Under the front desk,” Wardog says, removing the chair from the front desk.

“Wardog, oh my god!” Bi tries the key and it works perfectly. Inside, she finds a box, locked with a combination lock.

“What the fuck,” they both groan.

Wardog notices the newspaper on the ground. He looks at the front page to see an article about the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral. He reads it over, then asks, “How many numbers?”

“Four”

“Okay, okay, okay, try One-Eight-Eight-One”

She tries it, but it doesn’t work.

“Okay, try One-Zero-Two-Six.”

She enters the combination and it unlocks. “How did you know that?”

“It’s the date of the shoot-out at the O.K. Corral.”

She looks inside and then says, “Wardog, can I trust you?”

“Yeah, of course.”

She pulls out a sheriff’s badge and a paper telling her this is the Idol Nullifier.

“Oh, holy shit.”

“No one knows about this.”

“No one knows about this.”

“Wardog.”

“Bi.”

“You. Cannot. Tell. Anyone. About. This.”

“Bi, I won’t say a word.”

“I saw what you did to Wentworth. I’m not gonna let the same happen to me.”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, Bi. Here. Here. Let me prove it to you.”

He runs back to his bag and pulls out his extra parchment. He tells her, “This is an extra vote. No one else knows about it.”

“Oh, that’s perfect, Wardog. Don’t use that until the merge. I’ll tell you when its needed.”

“Okay, sounds good,” Wardog says, trying to quiet an excited squee.

“Can I ask you something?”

“What’s up?”

“Your real name isn’t Wardog, is it?”

“That’s just what everyone calls me. My real name is Dan. Dan ‘The Wardog’ DaSilva,” he says with a joking bravado.

“Alright, Dan,” Bi laughs.

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a carpenter bee buzzes into its home.

Back at the Tsitsistas camp, everyone crowds around Lauren as she attempts to uncork the wine bottle, but the cork won’t come out, so she smashes the bottle on a rock. Inside is a small envelope, sealed shut with red wax. The front of the envelope reads, “Open at tribal council after the votes are read.”

“What do you think it is,” Brandon asks.

“I think we get to pick between Bi and Wardog,” she explains.

“You want Wardog, I assume,” Ben asks.

“No way,” Wendy says, “Our tribe was terrible on Edge of Extinction.”

“We had one of the worst tribes in Survivor history,” Lauren tells them, “Both of us and Wardog were on it together. Then when we swapped and lost Wendy, we were even worse. Taking Bi is the right move if we can.”

At Suhtai, everyone congratulates Todd, then Michaela and Ken introduce themselves to their new tribe.

“Hi, I’m Michaela. I’m from Texas. I played in Millennials vs Gen X and then again in Game Changers.”

“Hi, I’m Ken, I also played in Millennials vs Gen X, but Michaela and I were on different tribes. I was on the Gen X tribe.”

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, the wind blows across the desolate earth.

In the hills of the Tsitsistas camp, Wendy and Russell check in with each other. In a talking head, Russell is ecstatic, “This could not have worked out better. I’ve got my little dumb girl with me and no Jerri to align with her behind my back.”

“Ahhh!!!” Wendy screams in her own talking head, “I can’t get rid of him!”

“So, what are you thinking,” he asks Wendy.

“I think it’s going to be one of us.”

“I think so too. Do you have an idol?”

“No,” Wendy lies, “do you?”

“I don’t. Jerri just said she thought you might have one,” he says, staring at her for several seconds, gauging her reaction.

In a talking head, Russell admits, “Jerri never told me anything about any idol, but hey, maybe she’ll tell me if she has one!”

“I don’t! We should look for one.”

Elsewhere, Brandon and Ben scurry to shade. “What’s going on, man? Have you talked to Russell yet,” Ben asks.

“Not yet, but I will. I think we should stick with him for a while but I have no problem cutting him when we have to.”

“Good. That’s what I was thinking too. Do you think he’ll be into it?”

“Oh yeah, Hantzs don’t turn their back on each other.” Brandon lifts his knuckles and Ben taps them with his own.

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a blue scrub jay rests on a tree branch.

On the other side of the desert, Hannah and Michaela catch up at the Suhtai camp. “So, have you been working with Ken,” she asks with more energy than she can contain.

“We haven’t voted together.”

“What?!”

“I’ve been working with Colby and Ken just does whatever Lauren tells him to do.”

“Okay, okay, lemme think.”

“I’ll vote for him. I don’t give a shit. I voted for him last time.”

“So, he knows he’s a target?”

“I think he probably already knows. I figure, if it’s not him, it’s me. And if it’s not me, it’s you.” 

“Alright,” Hannah says, shrugging her shoulders with disdain.

“Who instead?”

“I think we could get people to vote for Carl. I promise you, we can cement a working relationship with Ken here, and if he and Lauren are close, that’s more numbers for us in the merge.”

Michaela considers it.

“Carl brings nothing to the table for us,” Hannah explains, “He and Elizabeth are close, but that’s it. They’re not gonna stick with us every tribal. And what if we get Bi? She’s definitely going to align with them.”

“Damn, Hannah,” Michaela says after some contemplation, “okay.”

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a ground squirrel stands on his hind legs and chirps to his brethren.

Elsewhere, Carl, Elizabeth and Todd discuss the vote. “Honestly, between the two of them,” Todd says, “I’m most worried about Michaela. I don’t think Ken is anything to worry about.”

“What about Hannah,” Carl asks, “Weren’t they close?”

“They were on a tribe together. I don’t know if they’re close.”

“I don’t think she’s gonna leave a sure-thing alliance of three though,” Elizabeth explains.

“If we get Bi, we’ll be in the same situation as them unless we take one of them out,” Carl says.

“Guys, we’re already three,” Todd reminds them. 

“For sure,” Carl tells him. 

“We have to go to tribal before we can even worry about that,” Elizabeth says. 

“We need to talk to Jerri,” Todd says.

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a long-tailed brush lizard camouflages itself against the bark of an old tree. 

Back at Tsitsistas, Russell has isolated Brandon in the shelter. “Would you look at that,” Russell says, “the two Hantzs finally playing Survivor together.”

“It’s about to get fun.”

“It sure is, nephew. It sure is.”

“You find an idol yet?”

“Not yet. But I will, don’t you worry. Have you?”

“I haven’t. But, Ben found one.”

“Oh, really,” he says with a curious grin, “Does he still have it?”

“No, he played it.”

“Okay, that’s good to know. Thank you, nephew.”

“No problem, uncle. So, are you close with Wendy?”

Russell chortles, “Wendy is my lamb.”

“So, she’s with you?”

“Indeed she is. That little girl will do whatever I tell her to do. Long as it ain’t her, she’s happy.”

“So, who are we voting for?”

“Colby. This is my tribe now.”

“Alright, Colby. Me, you, Ben and Wendy.”

“Four of seven. Perfect.”

“Perfect. Who do you think they’ll target?”

“Probably Ben. He’s the only winner over here. I don’t know why y’all didn’t do it earlier.”

“Ben’s my closest ally.” 

“Not anymore.” 

Around the Tsitsistas campfire, Kass, Colby and Lauren discuss what to do about the vote. “I think Russell sees us targeting him, so maybe we go after Brandon,” Colby suggests.

“Works for me,” Lauren says.

“Can we get Wendy to our side? Isn’t she close with Russell,” Kass asks.

“I’ll talk to her,” Lauren says.

“Talk to who about what?” Ben asks as he takes a seat at the fire.

The other three around the fire look at each other. Then, Colby makes an executive decision and says, “Look Ben. There’s no point dancing around it.  I know you’re close with Brandon but it’s only right to tell you. We’re going after Brandon tonight. We were gonna try to get Wendy’s vote but, I guess you’re in on the plan now.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, okay. Thanks for telling me. You’re sure it’s not me?”

“It’s definitely not you,” Lauren says.

“Okay, I’m trusting you.”

“Yeah, good. I’m telling you the truth.”

“Kass?”

“It’s Brandon, bud,” she tells him.

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a roadrunner sprints down the dusty Route 66.

Collecting any firewood they can find in the desert, Todd tries to convince Jerri to vote with him and the Davids, “Look,” he says, “the Millennials are a really tight-knit group. Vote with us tonight, and me and you can run this game at the merge.”

“Okay, so who do you suggest?”

“Michaela. She’s the biggest threat, she’s got the most connections of anyone. The sooner we get her out the better. She’s too smart.”

“Then it’s me, you, Carl, Elizabeth and presumably Bi?”

“Presumably.”

“That puts us at four and five in their alliance.”

“Or, it puts us at one and two in our alliance, Bi at three. She already knows she’s number three between those three. We could talk her into coming to our side.”

“Alright, Todd. I imagine the other side will be coming to me trying to make the same argument. What do I tell them?”

“Tell them Ken because you’re doing a woman’s alliance thing or something.”

“Or something.” 

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a tarantula crawls up on a rock. 

In an area of rock they deemed their cubby, Ben and Brandon talk in hushed voices. With genuine concern, Brandon looks into Ben’s eyes and says, “Russell says he trusts Wendy, but I don’t.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Russell says they’re targeting you.”

“Who?

“Colby, Kass, Lauren.”

“Wendy?”

“Russell says no, but she might flip. I wanted to give you this,” Brandon says, pulling out his idol.

“Oh, no, Brandon. I can’t.”

“Just take it tonight. If you feel like we can trust Wendy, just don’t play it, but if we can’t, play it and we send Colby home. Colby’s going home either way.”

“Oh wow, Brandon. That’s- wow. Thank you,” Ben says before putting his second idol of the season in his pocket.

Lauren finds Wendy in the shelter. She sits down in one of the chairs Ken made. She takes Wendy’s hand in her own and says, “Hey, how you holding up?”

“Well, your shelter is a lot nicer. So, I’m good,” Wendy says, “How are you?”

“I’m good. I wanted to talk to you about… where you’re at re: the vote.”

“Oh, yeah. What were you thinking?”

“Well, I know you and Russell are close but I think Brandon might put a wedge between that.”

“So, Brandon?”

“What do you think?”

“I don’t really care, honestly. I’ll vote for Brandon. Russell will be mad but so what, he’s always mad.”

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a spider leaps from one rock to another, carrying a string of silk behind it. 

Around the Suhtai campfire Michaela sits next to Jerri. “You don’t strike me as the type of person who appreciates dilly-dallying, so I’m going to get straight to the point. Colby and I formed a working relationship on Tsitsistas. I know y’all are close. I’m close with Hannah from my original season. She’s close with Ken. He’s close with Lauren. We all stick together, we’re set in the merge. What do the Davids promise you, next tribal?”

“Alright, Michaela. Where am I putting my vote tonight?”

“Carl.”

“Okay.”

“Carl or Michaela,” Jerri contemplates in a talking head, “huh. I’m set either way! Ha!”

Jeff first greets Suhtai around the campfire at Tribal Council. He points to Todd, wearing individual immunity, a few seats away, “Feel good?”

“Anything could happen tonight, Jeff, so I am very pleased to be wearing this.”

“What do you think this vote will be about tonight, Elizabeth?” Jeff asks.

“This is really about choosing sides.”

“What are the sides, Jerri?”

“Well, we’ve got the Millennials, as we’re calling them, that’s Michaela, Hannah and Ken, and then the Davids; Carl, Elizabeth, and Todd I guess.”

“I’m a flight attendant, so it works,” Todd says.

“And then there’s me,” Jerri says.

“So, when Elizabeth says ‘choosing sides’ what she means is, ‘which side is Jerri choosing?’”

“Would seem that way, Jeff,” Jerri says with a knowing smile.

“Alright, it is time to vote. Michaela, you’re up first.”

Everyone votes. Jeff tallies the votes, asks for any idols, and when no one stands to play an idol, he reads the votes. “Michaela, Carl, Michaela, Michaela, Carl, Carl, fifth person voted out of Survivor: Wild West, Carl.”

Carl grabs his torch and gives everyone a gracious nod as his torch is snuffed.

“Suhtai, you will now enjoy your reward as you sit in on the Tsitsistas tribal council,” Jeff says.

Suhtai sits among the fireflies as they eat their burgers and sip their whiskey. It’s not good whiskey, but everyone’s happy it’s there. Tsitsistas takes their place around the campfire. Ken catches Lauren’s eye as he sits and he smiles to see her still there. Jerri looks at Ken next to her and rolls her eyes big enough for Colby to see. He laughs as the ice in her whiskey hits her lips.

“Tsitsistas, welcome to tribal council. As you can see, Carl was voted out at Suhtai’s tribal council. Are you surprised, Russell?”

“No, not really. Carl was a charming guy. You gotta get charming guys out before they charm their way to the end.”

“Is that how you do it Russell, you just charm your way to the end,” Jeff asks.

“Hey, don’t give away all my secrets, Jeff,” Russell jokes.

“Is there concern with Russell and Brandon being on your tribe together, Kass?”

“There’s always concern when either one of them is even in the game. The fact that they’re together can be seen as scary, but they can’t actually do anything without us, so while there is concern, I am not concerned.”

“Colby, Concerned?”

“I wouldn’t say that. We’ll get through this. We gotta lose somebody, but we’ll get through it.”

“Worried that somebody could be you, Ben,” Jeff asks.

“Oh, sure. You’re always worried it could be you, especially as a winner. I assume there’s always a target on my back. They’ll wanna weaken me however they can, if it’s flush an idol, or vote out one of my allies, or turn on me to further their own game. I know that. I’m ready. I just hope they’re ready for me.” 

“Alright, with that it is time to vote. Colby, you’re up first.”

Colby casts his vote for Brandon. Russell votes for Colby. The rest of the tribe makes their way into the cave to cast their votes. Jeff leaves, tallies the votes and returns to read the votes. Suhtai leans forward in their seats as Jeff reads the votes from Tsitsistas: “Colby, Brandon, Colby, Brandon, Coolby, Brandon, sixth person voted out on Survivor: Wild West: Brandon.”

Burgers fall from the mouths of Suhtai as Tsitistas gets up to bid Brandon adieu. Ben goes to hug him goodbye, but Brandon walks past with his torch for Jeff to snuff. The votes for Colby were Russell, Wendy and Brandon. The votes for Brandon were Colby, Lauren, Kass and Ben.

“Now, Lauren, you won something in the challenge. What does it say?”

Lauren opens the sealed envelope in front of everyone, “As the holder of this letter, you can take whichever prisoner you want before the other tribe.”

“So, think it over,” Jeff says, “I will get your choice at the next immunity challenge. Other than that, I got nothing for ya.”