#as adults they’re close pals tho it took them a while

[alevolpe]

Another sketch for ya :)

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Retrograde (Pieces of the People We Love, Part 2.)

Description: Not many people had the chance to see a vault or to mean anything in the world of Pandora. Will a hardly built relationship in the loneliness of the desert have the potential to change anything in the world of anarchy and chaos - or will the friends try to murder each other?

A/N: One time, my friend asked me if I would like to drink Dr. Bob or classic Coke when she was making an analogy for a random movie. So Dr. Bob is sort of a long running jokw when comparing a bad movie.

Warnings: A lot of guns, violence, reader is a tough badass - not a vault hunter tho. They’re badass and don’t give a fuck. And Scooter is a dumb bitch, as always. All Psychos and Fanatics are various Vine references - oh, what luck that reader can understand them since she is friends with Bandits.

Word count: 3.6K

Tagging: @notaliteraltoad​, @nemodoren​

Series master list:  H E R E

You were looking straight into the man's face for what seemed to be infinity, it was almost half an hour, while your entwined fingers supported your resting chin. You sat there like that for the past hour while Scooterboy was eating like crazy. He was sure hungry like a wolf.

That was pretty acceptable and reasonable, as far as you could judge - he was pronounced DEAD several years ago. The worst part was that the whole Pandora probably mourned for the best-known, and basically only, mechanic in the business. And now, he was just looking at Pintley and ate almost everything from his plate, looking like a hamster. Scooter literally stuffed his faces with homemade fried Skag bacon and Pintley's bread - definitely one of the best combinations in the entirety of Pandora.

"Are you done with the food?" - A mumbled cold as ice filled the room when Scooter finally finished the fourth plate of food and his last can of the Dr. Bob cola. The drink was sure as hell not healthy and barely nutritious, but it was the only soda Pintley had in Hell's Cauldron's pub.

"Now, you're going to explain to me how the hell are you alive and why, for the fuck's sake, have you respawned here." - The rhythm of your words was slow, your tongue rolled every syllable on its top - as if Scooter had some brain damage. Each of you was staring at the mechanic with hidden curiosity; this was a miracle, to say the least. Was he inside the database the whole time? If he wasn't there, could it be that the systems had some hard time figuring where should it respawn him? It didn't matter how you approached the problem - any of the solutions was making sense to you.

"Ye man, I'm done for now. Thanks for payin' for me, anyway. I don't have any cash on me since..." - Scooter zoned out for a second, watching a small spot next to your head. He was doing that quite a lot throughout his eat-all-you-can episode. His eyes fixed on a precise point somewhere inside the room. It was unnerving.

Without wanting, your eyebrows had risen on their own after a minute of complete silence. You've counted every second of Scooter spacing out before deciding to drag him out of the trance. Slowly, you rose both your hands and clapped. The metallic one could clap pretty loud, so it made Scooterboy freak out, looking around with genuine fear on his face. You've given him another ten seconds to get it all together before you leaned a bit closer, still staring at him without any clear emotion on your face.

Scooter, at first, was staring back at you. Then, he chuckled and leaned his back into the chair. - "How can I know, man? I'm only Scooter, I do cars. Ye, I could repair you a network or stations when ya would like me to, but nobody except those Hyperion robots doesn't know how does New-U work. Can I have another Dr. Bob? I'm really thirsty." - Scooterboy asked you politely, raising the empty can to your eye-level. Oh, he was negotiating, that was what he was doing. He wasn't going to tell you anything without another can of the naughty mysterious cola, right? Well, if this was the case...

Slowly, you closed your eyelids so much that they became two small lines, thinking about murdering Scooterboy just for the fun of it; it wouldn't be that bad, since he would respawn at the station again. It would be maybe morally incorrect, but who were you to care about such bullshit? Being the responsible adult you pretended to be, you managed to overcome your sour feelings against Scooter and calmed down, leaning your back into the chair as well.

"Listen up, young man. You'll tell me everything you remember from the last time you were alive and I, as a little show-off of my gratitude, will buy you another cheap and disgusting cola. Are we on the same page?" - Another few seconds passed until Scooter nodded in agreement before you stretched your arm to Pintley; the old man basically tore the money out of your palm, making you shoot a furrow in his direction. With the speed of literal lighting, he fetched another red can of the soda; everyone was eager to hear Scooter's tale so they could piece the story together on their own.

That didn't mean you would completely wipe the thoughts regarding Scooterboy's sudden and unexpected death in your head. For a reason, when you managed to wrap yourself in some rather unpleasant bullshit, murder scenarios were your usual go-to tactic to calm down once more. Like most things on Pandora, this tendency couldn't be simply explained or treated by walking straight to a therapist's office. If you'd believe what Blindy told you here and there, another psycho named Jay had a small psychologist office on his own - but let's be serious, what good could a therapy by a psycho do? Your situation wasn't that bad for now; until you'd randomly go on a rampage, you weren't planning on booking an appointment.

The staring contest was going on for a few seconds, yet when neither of you cut the staring off, your normal arm slowly rose another two dollars, as you kept on watching Scooter intensely. Anticipation was in the air as the mechanic leaned closer to Pintley, catching the soda between his fingers. After that, he just gave you an innocent gaze. - "I blew up." - Scooter said simply, shrugging his shoulders. That made Billy, who was sitting two tables away from you, laugh out loud.

"BITCH DISGUSTING!" - Rayray yelled and every single one of you, including Scooter, looked at the bandit boy. Scooter was the only person in the room who certainly didn't know what Rayray just told him; given Blindy gasped for air, it couldn't be nice. "Dude, there's no need to be this harsh. Calm your tits and apologize!" - You yelled in Scooter's defense and so did Billy.

Not that you were a master psycho-to-normal translator, yet you could at least roughly understand what Rayray just said. Each of you had your mouth opened as you stared at the bandit boy. You could rarely hear him say something so outrageously accusing. What he said was so damn rude; he was accusing Scooter of lying just like that.

"There's no need to be so fuckin' aggressive, you deadbrain! You don't know if he's lying or not! Say that you're sorry. Do you even realize that enough people already think that we're nothin' but stupid idiots?!" - Billy said in a firm voice and stared Rayray down, almost smacking him like a bitch. Rayray and Billy had a father-son relationship which could simply be described as ridiculous. Yet, since they both lived in the same bandit colony, somebody had to lead Rayray to behave as well as he could.

“I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE DONE THIS.” - Rayray said in a low voice with his head hung low. Everyone shook their heads and looked at Rayray with disappointment just before shifting their looks back on Scooterboy. Each one of you was wondering about the story Scooter had to tell; as you looked over to him and observed the face his face was looking, he surely wasn't done with the story just yet.

“There was a group of weird people travelin' with my friends and one day they came to me and ask “Hey, Scoot, ya willin' to make us a rocket? Need to go to Helios ASAP.” and I was like “Yea”. So I and my pal Janey built them a rocket, but there was a small mechanical problem and my hand was stuck in the rocket... And it needed to blow up, so they could continue their journey to reach Helios, alrite? And it took me to hell and back, man, I tell ya.” - Scooter smiled a bit at that thought. - “I remember it blowin' up. Me bein' on it. And now I'm sitting here with new friends, sippin' some good old Dr. Bob. How is Helios hangin'?”

The silence that had suddenly surrounded you all was uncomfortable, to say the least. Quickly, you glanced over Pintley to look out of the window. Until that day, you could still pinpoint the exact location where Helios was hovering in the sky. Never in those long years since it had blown up, you'd look in the sky and think "Man, it's strange to not see an ugly-ass space station there". But, somehow, that was precisely what you've been thinking about at that moment. Obviously, if Scooter was dead for the past seven years, his first instinct wouldn't be to look up and search for the most hideous view you've ever had encountered. But not that you realized he wasn't fucking with any of you, it felt strange not to see the station there. As if it was your personal guilt that some jackasses had blown it up.

It was you, again, who decided to speak the first. With a gulp, you've leaned forward to lean your elbows to your thighs, trying to say it in the most natural way possible. - “Scooter... Helios was blown up by a group of pretty weird guys.” - It was nothing but a mere whisper. - “Five years or so ago.”

For a moment, Scooter didn't seem to be connecting the information. It didn't click until a few minutes later. - “Wait, what? And... Sanctuary?” - Scooter leaned even deeper into his chair with his gaze directed into the oblivion. Why did you have to be the one who had to tell the deadman all the news? Why wasn't anyone else speaking? But as you looked over to the men around, their gazes only answered "Well, you've started with it, don't be a pussy now and finish what you were saying". Did Scooter even know that Handsome Jack was dead now? That there were rumors about discovering about four or five new vaults on the sister planets of Pandora? Did he know that the Children of the Vault had risen all over Pandora? And if he didn't know... How much were you supposed to tell him if you didn't want him to have a hysterical seizure?

“Okay, we might have to trace what you know, get your timeline matching ours and we will have to tell you... So many new things that you may shit your pants.” - You mumbled and opened another Dr. Bob. It took quite some time before you managed to somehow connect your memories with his. It was almost ten p.m. when you ended. Occasionally, you managed to line-up his memories until the moment when the original Sanctuary was attacked by the flower-army or who (don't act so surprised - anything was pretty much possible on Pandora). As the tales said, the town was now blown up into millions of tiny rocks and the VHs had constructed a literal spaceship (which was Scooter's sister Ellie). Again, you couldn't tell how much of it was true. You couldn't be quite sure that anything on the planet Pandora you heard had actually happened.

But mostly, it all seemed to true - that Helios has fallen, that Sanctuary was teleported by the legendary siren Lilith, known as the Firehawk, or that Handsome Jack was posting a job wanted posts for Vault Hunters wanted just so he could easily kill them off. Carefully, you told Scooter about the chaos that started when Sanctuary was blown up and the vault key had been lost in the desert. Back then, it was hard to notice the entire Pandora changing since you've been living in a literal desert, but you could tell that something wasn't adding up. When you told him about the siren-powered Calypso twins, you couldn't leave out their cringy streaming career.

You told him all about how the COV had recruited most of the bandit and psycho clans all over Wastelands, starting their big suicidal cult somewhere in an old base, growing bigger with each month. They weren't a serious threat, serious pain in the pain at their best, but they could be quite something to deal with at times. Of course, were now including all the women that were insane enough to join them, which was among the first questions Scooter was wondering about. Now, there was a small amount of free-psycho-bandit-whatever clans remaining in the deserts and wastelands. Most of the bandits joined the COV; the places they've been living in before were now empty, lifeless and Pandora was a bit less fun without the random encounters.

“So, you aren't in contact with Lilith? Or Moxxi? Or Ellie? Or basically anyone?” - The man asked suddenly after being quiet for a moment. You weren't thinking of yourself as the most empathetic person in the whole of the desert; you've told Scooter all about the reality you've been living in for the past couple of years. For you, it was natural to take it all as the matter of fact - but you couldn't forget about Scooter being a man-out-of-time. It could take him some time to understand the rules of today's Pandora and you had to be patient with him for now. Until you'd get rid of him and get back to your old life.

The question about the VHs and Crimson raiders made you surprised. How could you be in contact with them when you never met them before? - “I don't even know them personally, dude. Hey... You okay, Scooterboy?” - The can with the nasty cola was laying on the table as if Scooter didn't even want it anymore. His face went two shades paler and the grin on his face had faded away. - “You look like you're about to puke.”

Now, he lowered his head and played with his fingers, fidgeting them around. Yeah. It was tough to get accustomed to. So many things had changed since his days on Pandora and even though, it all remained almost the same. It must've been feeling pretty surreal. - “Nah, man. I'm not about to puke, don't ya worry. It's just too much to take in. That's all. I'll be alrite.” - He answered. You could tell something's off. He was an exploding ball of energy and happiness just two hours ago; now, you managed to destroy his confidence, positivity, and to murder his good mood. Wow. Good job, you.

“I'm sorry if you think that your friends abandoned you here..." - At that point, Pintley looked on the back of your head. Was he dreaming or were you being... Nice to someone? What happened to you? Were you trying to calm Scooter down? Did you finally grow as a person? Oh, but then the rest came, destroying the nice-person aura you had for a bit. "But that's true, man. They left you here because they thought you were dead-dead... And that's kinda fair if you ask me. I both know it, you know it, Rayray knows it. We all do. Keep it together, yeah? You were fucking dead for the past couple of years. There are so many new things to get accustomed to. But if you'll chicken out of that, you're a pussy." - The tone of your voice was empty and emotionless.

Pintley, for a minute, saw some kind of humanity shining through the aura of I-don't-give-a-diddly-damn you've been keeping ever since he met you. The truth was - you simply didn't care enough to "do emotions", as you called it. You weren't good at it at all, so you didn't bother with trying. Maybe that's was why you were living on your own in the middle of a desert. That was a pretty plausible explanation.

There were some people you'd call friends, yeah. You even liked to joke around with them. You could do sarcasm, irony, and arse-biting jokes that were sometimes really offensive. But every other emotion was a literal mystery to you. You couldn't quite show them off even if your heart was warm and full of love. And it was even worse when somebody pissed you off. As soon as you turned on the killing-machine mode, as Pintley called it, you didn't care about being as subtle as possible. Nothing in this world couldn't stop you from shooting someone, killing them, or simply throwing them through the window? Oh, how many times did you have to pay Pintley a new window? He wouldn't be able to count it even if he'd like to.

Yet, even though your dead stare and emotionless expression, the man smiled and patted your shoulder. With a furrow, you watched Scooter slowly backing his hand back to his lap, since you seemed to be thinking about biting the said arm off. "At least I respawned here, where ya people are actually pretty friendly under playin' that "I'm a badass and cold" facade." - At that, Pintley grinned; since you didn't know what you should respond, you just nodded and made a weird sound. You didn't know what to answer - you never met anyone that would see you as a... Friendly person? Ugh. Sure, pretty friendly persons live in a cabin hidden far, far away from any signs of society and they have actually fun when they hunt Skags. Right... That was a description of your normal local weirdo, not a description of a damn nice person. As you finished your internal monologue, you snickered under your breath, shaking your head as you unconsciously sat in a defensive position; your knee was thrown over your knee, your arms were covering your torso.

"And where you're planning to sleep, Scooterboy?" - Pintley asked. Since he was done with all the cleaning, he lightened up a cigarette, leaning his shoulder into a near doorframe. - "You know. Just wondering."

Scooter seemed to realize it at the same time you did; where will the poor guy sleep? Pintley had a guest room, sure, but you could already tell something fishy was going on since Pintley himself was the one calling the shots. You knew a spot or two in the forest where Scooter could make a small campsite; you've been sleeping there when the hunt took too long. - "I hadn't thought of somethin' like that. Wow. I am a homeless person, isn't that quite funny?" - Scooter said, clearly being more saddened than before. Damn, were you and Pintley trying to outdo each other in bringing Scooter's mood lower than before? Clearly, you had more points for the entire Calypso mascarade, but this was an impressive move, to say the least.

Of all people inside the room, it was Blindy who answered. - "Y'all know we can't take him to Ham's Creek. Guys would eat Scooter alive, Cowboy." - Blindy shrugged his shoulders and you just nodded. It was clear Blindy wasn't joking around - every time you had to visit Ham's Creed, you had goosebumps all over your body. Even if you didn't think of yourself as an emphatic person, you surely thought you're courageous. Damn, your day-to-day job was to hunt Skags down. But Ham's Creek? That was a whole another universe of horror and things that were unseen until you stepped inside the psycho territory. They would grill him like a pig and you didn't second-guess that they would even manage to find an apple which would they stuff into Scooter's mouth. That wasn't a nice image.

Pintley, the traitor, sighed too. - "I would give him a room if Jocelyn wasn't over right now." - Pintley said in a low voice, which was merely indicating how deeply in love your friend was. That mothersucker. Oh, you knew her. You precisely knew who Jocelyn was. With a confused face, you've been the one to answer Pintley's confession. "Listen, man, love's nice and all... But... Just theoretically... If you have your girlfriend over, and you have sex with her... Why don't you guys sleep in one bed? As far as I know, it's kinda considered to be normal." - It was a frown on your face that made Pintley realize you didn't buy his bullshit at all.

The old man only reddened before mumbling an answer. - "Jocelyn and I aren't ready for such a commitment to sleep in one bed." - At that, you had enough. The next sentence kind of... Slipped out of your mouth before you could stop it. "Pintley, do you realize that Jocelyn is a figurine? You can literally put her anywhere else and let Scooter have a sleepover at your place before we figure out what to do with him." - The tone of your voice was so incredulous that your voice just slipped an octave higher. For a moment, you've been looking at each other; but it didn't make Pintley say "okay".

It was at that second when you realized what was going on. No, Pintley and Blindy didn't agree on this beforehand, yet both of them were sure it wasn't to be them who would have the boy in their home that night. The truth was that you had an ultra-old couch at your place that was just... There. - "Ah, you sons of a bitch." Right after that, you stood and expected Scooter to do the same; as he remained sitting there, you just snapped your fingers in front of his face, which freaked him out. As he was picking himself up from the ground, you walked through the pub while putting your significant hat back on.

"Looks like you'll be at my place, boy. Get up, Blindy will drive us home.” - And right before you left, you've shown Pintley your middle finger, making the man chuckle under his breath.

[esmemarion]

notes / headcanons / whatever for my Cookie Run AU

@camwoodstock​ and I work on an AU where Avocado and Matcha are together and have two kids, Herb and Kiwi (and much later a third child, my fankid named Wormseed - I’ll make a separate post on that)

. Avocado loved to read as a kid! That’s how she got into jokes and wordplay.

+ Having Herb and Kiwi gives her an excuse to read some of her old favorites again

. Pistachio, White Choco, and Dark Choco were Avocado’s childhood friends (Dark and White are siblings - Dark is older)

. Pistachio and White Choco got together as teenagers and eventually married

+ they raise Mint Choco, White Choco’s little brother

. Avocado had a crush on Dark Choco, the closest friend out of the three, but...  then Dark Choco wanted to be the hero of the kingdom want didn’t want to get in his way. They’re still close pals! 

+ Avocado created a sword as the ultimate weapon preserved for only the most daring hero... Dark Enchantress stole it, turned it into the Strawberry Jam Sword, and it ended up in Dark Choco’ s hands and... yeah... 

+ Avocado is still overridden with guilt, even when Dark assures it wasn’t her fault

+ She kinda slings into a depressive state. Cocoa Cookie helps her through it and becomes a very close friend

-- Cocoa is a little slow to Avocado’s puns, though she does find them funny when she gets them

+ Avocado has a jar of jellies in her home at all times. These are for visitors, including Avocatapults that she has befriended.

. Matcha was flat-out neglected and eventually disowned by Dark Enchantress for not being the perfect lackey 

+ Avocado found her emaciated and ill in a bush and took Matcha to her home, caring for her and providing her with a comfortable environment. 

+ Matcha’s robe was torn up by Furball Wolves (the adult version of Furball Pups). She tried to stay in their cave while on her own, but got attacked. Cocoa fixed it, thankfully!

. Matcha is kinda clingy and needs to be hold onto something almost all the time. She frequently stims with her sleeves or staff if she can’t hold onto anything else She autistic and has poor communication skills and prone to anxiety. Cocoa helps Avocado learn how to understand and how to handle certain situations.

+ Matcha was, and still kinda is, sensitive to light. It would downright scare her when she first met Avocado. Avocado kept her lights dimmed until she adjusted to it

. Cocoa was the first one to notice that Avocado and Matcha were super close. She even mistaken them for a couple when she saw them snuggling on her couch.

+ Matcha didn’t know what  “love” really meant at that point and timidly asks her what it means. This makes her realize what exactly her feelings for Avocado were.

.One of Avocado and Matcha’s favorite past-times is watching cheesy movies and laughing at them

. Dark Choco did not trust Matcha when Avocado introduced him to her. Being related to the cookie that ruined his life and being close with his best friend was... not a good mix for him! He was very worried something would happen to Avocado. Matcha later proves that she has no bad intentions and gains his trust

+ Matcha didn’t like Milk because of an event where she felt like he was going to attack her (after all, she was an ally to Dark Enchantress)

+ Avocado introduced Matcha to Werewolf, another friend. Matcha was very afraid of his Furball Pup, but thankfully his pupper is a lot more friendly and docile

. Matcha always checks on Avocado when she’s working and gets worried even when she gets a minor cut

. Matcha is a very out-of-touch cookie. She’ll laugh at a meme from 2009 like it was new. Avocado finds this endearing.

.-

okay now let’s get to Herb and Kiwi

. Herb was the first child, Kiwi was born 3 years later

. Herb loved plants ever since he was a baby (yes, Matcha influenced this). Kiwi was one of those toddlers who loved anything with wheels - he never got over that phase :P

. Herb “hoohoos” in a lot of situations, even using it for communication before he learned proper words.

. When ever since Kiwi was born, Avocado called him “fuzzy” or “fuzzy boy” or anything like that.

. Kiwi is often embarrassed by his moms, whether it be from Avocado’s goofy jokes or Matcha lovingly telling another cookie something he didn’t want to be shared. He still loves them tho.

. Herb had trouble making friends as a kid, but he’s been best friends with Cherry Blossom ever since they were little. Kiwi has lots of friends, such as Roll Cake, Dino-Sour, and of course, his boyfriends Mint Choco and Rockstar. 

. The brothers see Millennial Tree as a grandfather figure and Wind Archer as an uncle (Herb even called him “Uncle Windy” when he was little)

. Avocado helped make Kiwi’s bike! She got him into mechanics c:

. Herb works as a barista, but his true calling is plants.

. Herb’s weather magic was inherited from Matcha - she can’t manipulate weather herself, but it’s still obvious the magic comes from her

. Herb is also very prone to anxiety issues and he’s timid as hell. It doesn’t take much to make him cry.

+ being around plants, hearing the sound of rain, and being surrounded by soft things calm him down

. Cocoa made them both stuffies when they were born. Herb got a green teddy bear and Kiwi got a plush of a... kiwi (like, the bird, the real life bird)

. Dark Choco is their godfather 

[dykedteach]

okay here we go, episode 2 second watch

(I think this is my longest liveblog I’ve done, but then again I feel like this is the most emotional a tv episode has made me since I finished Black Sails so like?)

so uhhh they’re really gonna hide all the valuable people in the crypts huh, they’re really following through on that

“women and children first” to DIE??? I M EAN

i’ve been thinking about this non stop since i first watched the ep and my growing dread is nigh unstoppable, if i had any doubts that the winterfell dead might rise, their whole repeated thing of “everyone will be safe down there” shot them straight down

i’m lowkey annoyed we missed out on what would have been an incredibly awkward introduction scene between jaime and literally everyone, but i’m glad his “trial” didn’t drag out

i want sam’s opinion on dany’s bloodthirst vis a vis avenging her father BC LIKE????

“i’d do it all again” honey be QUIET 

L O Y A L T  Y 

loyalty

l      o   yal     t e  a

lmao daenerys’ look of anger and disgust at brienne hopping to jaime’s defense alone makes me want her dead tbh

sansa being a better strategist, ruler, negotiator, and peacekeeper than both of her parents combined, is my weakness tbh

also He R  aRmOuR drESs !!!!! what a LOOK! 

d: “what does the warden of the north say about it?” j: [has dissociated solidly through the past six hours, is only now just realising it’s daylight and he’s in the great hall] uhhhhhhhhhhhh cool i guess?

tyrion finally breathing after daenerys lets jaime live is ridiculously endearing, i love the brothers’ relationship so much

baeworm death-glaring jaime is also ridiculously endearing tbh

i dig the gendarya love theme, i do i do i do

everyone keeps saying that the fact they had sex means one of them will die next ep but honestly? out of all the non jonerys pairings (missandei/greyworm, sam/gilly, jaime/brienne) i think they’re most likely to live through the battle, and the fact they have their own theme makes me doubt as well that they’ll end next episode

that poor guy who got in the way of arya and gendry’s dragonglass throwing foreplay, so close yikes

i can’t believe that out of everyone who bran has been weird to, jaime was the one to take his weird shit best

“how do you know there is an afterwards?”           sd;kjlas

djkasljdak;lsd

                        asjd;lsakdla;sd

        bran

                               bran stop

   please be fuckin w us bran

this brotherly love scene is great and it hurts me to think it might be their last solo scene

although the way they keep talking about how sure they are they’ll die....idk? and with bronn on the way with his crossbow? to have both, or either, die at winterfell with the battle seems a waste. plus, one of them needs to be the valonqar so?

i’d be satisfied seeing a dead tyrion rip cersei apart though, i’ll admit that

JAIME GAZING AT BRIENNE INSTEAD OF LISTENING TO HIS BROTHER

pod has come so far in his fighting i love him so much i love brienne’s proud mama expression hes. he’s 100% going to die. for sure. 

“we have never had a conversation that’s lasted this long without you insulting me, not once” KJASDKLASJDKALSJDALKSD 

“i came to winterfell because...” Y OU LOVE HER DUMBASS

i still ship jorah with dany more than jon, fight me

i love the confirmation that all the bad blood between them is under the bridge, i love that he convinced her to make peace with tyrion and sansa, i love that he’s made peace with tyrion taking up his position, made peace with his house, with his relationship with his father...........

he’s absolutely toast and i hate it.

he’s going to die for dany with one last “khaleesi” and it’s going to break my heart

“we have other things in common” yeah you both have jon in your immediate family trees lmao

i’m confused by the “someone taller” comment, who’s she talking about? everyone else hurt her or betrayed her at some point. is it barristan? is it baeworm? it should be baeworm

ok so. i don’t need or want sansa to end up with anyone. 

that said

if it had to be a man

my heart almost jumped out of my chest when she and theon hugged, i didn’t expect her to get this emotional at all, shit i didn’t expect MYSELF to get this emotional

HER TEARS

THEY BOTH NEED HUGS IM GLAD THEY GET HUGS

soup dad can’t die i forbid it

let’s talk about gilly for a second, how far she’s come, from a scared abused girl to a strong, caring, confident woman and mother, i’m so emotional please protect her

DAVOS ADOPTING CHILDREN LEFT RIGHT AND CENTRE

THE SHIREEN THEME PLAYING OVER THAT BIT IM ASJDKASDJ

i’m super surprised edd and beric survived the hearth, i thought there would be more of a fight there

LITTLE CROW

i know people crack ship them, but like, they’d almost be better suited than jon and daenerys

while i adore the idea of theon making amends for taking winterfell from bran by defending winterfell and protecting bran from the night king, i know in my heart that all it’s going to result in is a very dead theon (and probably a dead bran)

why do i feel like while well intentioned, having dragons near the godswood is.....a mistake

i’d love for bran and tyrion to both survive, i’d love to see them talk more as equals because they’re so similar intellectually (i know they had scenes when bran was a kid, but that doesn’t count)

missandei and greyworm are too good and pure for this earth, i want them to leave, i want them to go to naath and never come back, i want them to find a little house by the water and eat fruits and find missandei’s family and take in some stray children, some street cats to lay lazily on the stones of their porch, maybe missandei teaches the children of their village every morning under the rising sun, maybe greyworm becomes a tradesman, makes shoes or ale or binds books for the locals, they grow old and content together and the children they took into their home, now grown adults with their own children, bury them side by side underneath carved stones, i want them more than almost anyone to have a happy ever after because if anyone deserves it it’s those two

but there are dreams that cannot be

and greyworm is almost certain to die next episode

maybe missandei too, but i’m not sure

until then, i will live in my fantasy.

i love my nights watch boys, i love that they talk about grenn and pyp, i miss those lads

sam being the playful, banter-full, confident guy he is, i love him so much i’m so happy for him he better fucking survive (and maybe become lord of horn hill who knows? he has a wife and a son so ? 

honestly the idea of tywin knowing jaime and tyrion are defending winterfell is so wonderful

ha ha h ah ah  ah h a i love tyrion and jaime so much that i. i forget. temporarily. about tyrion’s first wife

brienne stopping pod from drinking and then tyrion just.......fuckin pouring a large one out for the lad

please, let him drink, it’ll be his last

davos is such an old man i love him

jaime looking between brienne and tormund with amusement is the best thing ever

davos’ concern over ten year old tormund hopping into bed with a giant is incredible. dad mode. always on dad mode.

hound’s not gonna die yet, not until cleganebowl, he’s safe next ep for sure. so he’s allowed to be a grumpy old git for a bit

beric is straight up gonna die tho

“might as well be at a bloody wedding” g o d i dont like that foreshadowing

beric is so cheery and amicable im gonna miss him

i’m so glad that they gave arya agency, and a sweet, un-sexploited, in-character sex scene, there’s so few really good sex scenes in this show and i’m glad she got one of them

(no matter how long i spent the first time around watching through my fingers and cringing, i KNOW she’s an adult and maisie is an adult but god she’s still such a kid in my eyes)

as soon as the gloves started coming off i screamed

he is a sweet sweet boy and i wouldn’t want my murdering badass fave to be with anyone else

i appreciate them showing her scars as part of it, i can’t quite put my finger on why but it was nice to see that

i feel like once i get over the weirdness of like, “hey that’s arya”, it’s probably one of the hotter sex scenes in the series? just for passion and use of consent and stuff

i can’t even begin to elaborate on how perfect brienne’s scene is

it’s immediately one of my favourite scenes in the whole show, i honestly don’t have the words

it’s better than any marriage vows that have been taken in the whole series, and to see brienne proud and happy is just...incredible.

the mormont scene i wanted!!!

this is such a touching scene between two of my faves, i want jorah and sam to be pals forever but i know its just....not happening

the fact that sam starts in the crypt but i know he ends up on the battlefield is....concerning to say the least

god. that song. that song is everything

im too in my feelings to care about jonerys, sorry

i can genuinely believe that jon loves her, and doesn’t care about the iron throne or any titles really for that matter. but the other way around? i’m not so sure.

ok so my survival list: dany, jon, sansa, tyrion

everyone else is at risk please pray for me

oh also i bought the download of Jenny and already cried to it three times this evening, so the credits are making it a round four

[im-abanana]

-The Demon and The Angel- ch.1

Mhh... mk’okay? This is the first word of my first Bendy x Alice One-Shot series, that is on AO3 as well. Here’s the link, if you’re interested: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12736851/chapters/29045748

I will write random chapters about random AUs and genres (fluff, angst, sfw, nsfw, tragedy, family, romantic... it depends), as I said if you have a word you’d like me to turn into a chapter, you’re free to send me that word in an ask. I doubt somebody will, but just so you know. Of well, enjoy this first one-shot tho.

-Plane-

“Alright guys, everybody get on board before it's too late! Are you all ready for our first tour in Italy?” that rhetorical question immediately got an ecstatic, happy and unanimous shout as a reply, and Joey couldn't help but smile in front of his cartoons's, the creatures he created by himself, the ones he considered as his own children and family, impatience and enthusiasm. “Good to hear! Then com'on, follow us, but careful not to get lost.” the young animator, helped by his trusted co-worker and best friend Henry, guided the unexperienced and rather curious group inside the huge plane, showing them their seats and the bathroom, just in case. Turning his head and facing his best pal, Joey whispered with a cheerful tone: “They're really excited about their first tour, aren't they?”.

“Can you really blame them, buddy? After all, this is the first time they travel by air, too. It must be an overwhelming experience.” Henry crossed his strong arms and grinned as well, finally catching his breath and wiping some sweat off his forehead with an old handkerchief. “Let's just hope they won't cause any trouble... especially Bendy.”.

“Wow, this flyin' thing is fuckin' huge!” a member of The Butcher Gang, to be specific Edgar, loudly admired as he rapidly explored the unknown area and walked up and down the main corridor, his four spider legs sensing the soft fabric underneath their inky feet. “I've never seen anythin' like this, gang!”.

“Edgar! No swearing, there are little kids with their parents around us! The creators told us to behave, remember?” Alice promptly scolded the incredibly rude hybrid-arachnid and incinerated with a sharp gaze Barley and Charley too, perfectly aware that cursing was a pretty common habit for those three. “I swear to God, if I hear one single unfortunate slip of your tongue, you'll have my horns puncturing the spot where the sun never shines. Do you understand me?”.

“Play by your rules, my ass! Ya listen up Angel, ya ain't nobody here! Ya can't tell us what we can or can't do, girl! I'm the boss!” Charley aggressively growled and cracked his knuckles, trying to appear scary and bossy despite his ridiculous height. “If ya wanna lay down the law, bring it on!”.

“A pleasure.” the black haired fallen angel kneeled down and stooped on her enemy's inferior level with a deep frown, showing and swinging her pointy, deadly and dangerous horns with untamed rage and dominance. “Watch me closely, you disgusting short-stack, 'cause I'm about to smash your face!”.

“I'll beat ya to death instead, pathetic wingless bitch!”.

“Woah, woah, woah, stop it you two! Joey, Henry! Help, Alice and Charley fighting again!” Boris and Bendy immediately jumped forward and grabbed Alice's right leg and narrow shoulders, trying to hold the young singer back with great effort, while Barley and Edgar did the same with their older leader Charley, wrapping their thin arms around his gaunt waist and pinning him down against the cold floor of the plane. “Gotcha!”.

Letting out a deep sigh of resignation, the two animators stood up and approached the six squirming cartoons and stared at them with a very serious look, defusing the situation in a quick blink as they spoke in unison: “We talked about this guys, during the flight you'll have to be absolutely quiet and respectful of other passengers, we are not alone on this plane. No fights, no screams, no death threats. Our seats are pretty far from yours, and we can't just check on you every five minutes, besides we think you're mature enough to understand our point and be good and friendly. Will you do all that for us?” Henry simply inquired with a paternal expression as they all nodded, messing with Bendy's bristly hair and making the little devil giggle, amused. “Good.”.

“Oh and Charley, Alice can actually tell you what to do: she's in charge from now until the end of the flight. I'm sincerely sorry, I know how much you two hate each other, but she's definitely the most responsible here.” Joey added with a sly smirk, gently patting the fallen angel's back with his right hand. “Except for Boris, you're my only consolation: please, keep an eye on them all, Alice.”.

“Of course I will, Joey. Thank you very much for your trust, I'll make sure everything will be alright, you don't have to worry.” the black haired woman agreed with evident pride and satisfaction, sitting in her own seat and seeing her co-workers slowly doing the same thing. Boris was quiet and composed as usual, his fluffy tail wagging non-stop since he was completely thrilled, while Bendy and The Butcher Gang were complaining and grumbling by themselves, offended and almost outraged by their “dad's” last admonition and decision.

“I should be the one in charge. I'm the star of this show... I don't get why they always leave you in charge. It's not fair.” Bendy dramatically groaned out with a grumpy face and sat down beside the stunning and majestic angel, while Edgar and Boris sat together right behind them, and so did Charley and Barley soon after. “It's not fair at and-... Uh?” the demon concluded his silent speech with a surprised yelp and almost jumped up in fear, suddenly hearing the airplane doors closing. “What's this? What's happening, guys? Are we taking off yet?”.

“Looks like we are, Bendy. About time.” Alice replied and carefully fastened her own seatbelt while the hostess was talking and explaining the emergency manoeuvres to them, lying back and trying to relax her sore muscles, breathing heavily but showing happiness at the same time; it was finally time! “I can't believe we're finally going to visit Italy, I mean, that sounds really interesting and important to me! That country has a lot of history and an amazing culture! I wonder how it is, but I've heard that food and people are pretty nice there. I honestly can't wait.”.

“Me neither, but I agree with Alice: I bet Italy it's a beautiful place! I wanna try the food, like pizza, pasta or lasagna... I'm hungry!” Boris merrily barked from behind the other two main characters and caught everyone's attention, and especially the smaller children's, who recognized their favourite heroes immediately and called their names. “Hi, kids!”.

“You're always hungry, Boris. We've got a very long flight  ahead us tho, you'll have to resist a little.” Alice simply snickered with a sweet and kind tone, turning her head to face their little fans as soon as she heard their pleas and almost desperate calls. “Oh, hello everybody! Nice to meet you!”.

“Mommy and daddy, look: there are Bendy and his five friends over there!” a blonde kid quickly insistently pulled his parents' refined clothes and pointed the six nervous cartoons with his tiny index finger, clapping his hands with immense emotion and joy.  “Bendy, hello! Bendy!”.  

“The one and only, my dearest kid! Today's your lucky day indeed, but if you want an autograph on your t-shirt or plush you'll have to wait until the end of this flight!” the dancing demon frantically fixed his white bow tie to appear impeccable and just winked, resting his right elbow against Alice's left hip and then buried his head in her, umh, chest to look even more smug in his little fans' sparkling eyes, but ending up with an energetic and firm slap on his cheek from the black haired fallen angel, evidently irritated by his uncaring behaviour and brazen, flirty moves. “Ow! W-why the Hell did you do that!?”.

“Guys, I think we are jetting off right n- Woah!” before the humanoid wolf behind them could even finish his whole sentence, the plane officially took off and the prepared passengers experienced the first and sudden air pocket; Boris let out a scared yelp at first, not familiar with the new sensation, but then he shyly stared out the little round window beside him and gasped, admiring the breathtaking landscape from above. “Wow! It's beautiful!”.

“It's so amazing, you're right Boris!” Alice echoed with uncontrollable energy after a second and pressed her smooth palms against the freezing glass, completely unafraid and willing to see the world from a fresh perspective. “Bendy com'on, take a look as well, you don't know what you're missing. Bendy! Bendy? Bendy, will you just-... are you kidding me right now?”.

“Bendy, it's not that bad. Calm down and be an adult please, everyone's watching us and not because they want an autograph!” Alice mumbled and patted her co-worker's sweaty back as the tiny demon shook, trembled and shivered in pure fear as he perceived that their artificial feet, or to be specific the whole plane, was not safely on the ground anymore. “There's no need to panic, we're alright. Breathe, and stop freaking out!”.

“I wanna get off this thing, this second! Dad Joey! Uncle Henry! Help me!” Bendy cried out in instinctive terror, every single movement or vibration of the jet scaring the skilled dancer to death and forcing him to hug the patient fallen angel beside him even tighter. Two young and worried hostesses rushed beside them and asked what exactly was wrong with that short cartoon along with other confused people, earning a sincere apology from Alice and just a scared shout from the elegant devil, as a cracked reply: “What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me, you dare to say? Everything is completely wrong, don't you see!? Stop this stupid plane woman, I wanna get off!”.

“Bendy, will you shut the fuck up already!? Stop it, you're embarassing us all! Calm down!” the angelic girl yelled at that point, completely enraged, her pale cheeks flushed and a bit greyer than before, of course ashamed of him and his childish behaviour. Grabbing the main star's narrow shoulders, she tried to keep her partner still against the seat and avoid the precise strikes of his pointy and bothering black horns. “Ouch! Be careful with those things, you idiot!” Alice hissed in stinging pain and hit Bendy back, the two of them starting to struggle with strong slaps, powerful kicks, fierce lock horns and ruthless punches.

“Mommy, mommy! That lady said the F word!” a little baby girl laughed in genuine amusement, pulling her shocked mother's leather jacket and merrily squirming around and singing an improvised song: “She said the F word, she said the F word, she said the F word!”.

“Well guys, that's freaking great.” Charley rolled his pitch black eyes and huffed out, resigned, seeing his co-workers violently brawling as usual, not caring about their surroundings or anything else beside their pride, reallly. “Just what we needed to hear and tolerate; a yelling kid and Alice and Bendy fighting  like an old married couple for the next ten hours, verbally and physically. Shit.”.

“Well boss, you know them after all.” Barley simply replied with a neutral shrug, crossing his strong arms and spotting Joey and Henry, alarmed by those loud and terribly familiar screaming and grunting, desperately trying to separate the devil and the fallen angel. “One thing's for sure: next time, that wolf will probably be the one in charge.”.

[whyldkratts]

for the ask meme: all of them, but if thats too much maybe just the last 10?

Sorry for the long post aaaa1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? [I bought lottery tickets bc I was in texas and they’re not legal where I live and the cashier at the gas station didn’t even ask for my id. I tried to show him and he just shook his head and let me go???? He didnt even care wtf]2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? [Nah]3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? [Yea a little bit. I mean if it was just occasionally that’s probably fine? But a lot of my family has fucked up their entire lives with drugs so anything like that is iffy for me. It depends on how often they smoke ultimately]4: Do you find it easy to trust others? [I’d say yeah, probably. As long as you don’t fuck me over or guilt me within the first few weeks of knowing me id probably feel comfortable messaging you if I needed someone to talk to]5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? [Scrolling Tumblr]6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? [Probably my irl bffs lindy and raven!]7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? [Dump them. Adios fucker. I hope they’re happy with whoever they cheated on me with]8: Are you close with your dad? [Yeah I’d say so? I love him and he usually let’s me do my thing]9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? [Nah]10: What are you listening to? [Run by hozier]11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? [Sweet tea!!!! I’m from the south baby]12: Do you like hickeys? [Never has one so I don’t know!]13: What time do you go to bed? [Uhhhhhh 5am?]14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? [My siblings.]15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? [Nope I fuck up spelling a lot and have to go back and fix it no matter how many hands I’m typing with]16: Do you always answer your texts? [I try!! Unless I’m emotionally tired or forget]17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? [No. She’s my best friend now, actually]18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? [LIKE 3 MINUTES AGO I was complaining about how long it car ride home is]19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? [My irlbest friends, the cars discord chat I’m in, and a lot of my wk friends]20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? [I was writing ducktales fanfiction in my head]21: Is anyone else in the room with you? [I’m in a car with my mom for the next uhhh 7 hours?]22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? [Karmas a bitch]23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? [I was visiting family in Indiana, so yea probably? Tho I am pretty happy now too]24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? [Sometimes, with my old pal cat. She did some bad things so I stopped talking to her, but sometimes I want to catch up and see how she’s doing.]25: In the past week, have you cried? [YEAH over a darkwing duck episode]26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? [Grey. It has Mickey mouse on it!]27: Do people ever call you by your last name? [Noooope]28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? [I wouldn’t know]29: Do you have a best friend? [YEAH everyone in the cars discord and raven and lindy]30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? [No it was my great grandma lol]31: Who was your last call/text message from? [Call: red cross asking for my blood. Text: raven saying “dang”]32: Are you mad at anyone? [Not really? I don’t get angry very easily at all]33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? [When I was a freshman I was dating a junior]34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? [My great grandma! 88 I think]35: How many more days until your birthday? [LIKE a whole entire year. August 2nd]36: Do you have any summer plans yet? [Help my friend after her spine surgery p much. Visit family around the 4th of july]37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? [I have tons of girl friends!! All my best friends are girls (except em but they’re a good friend still!!!)]38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? [Lindy doesn’t know I’m trans]39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? [Uhhhhhhhhhhh next question]40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? [I try not to regret things like that]41: Do you think age matters in relationships? [UH YEAH?? An adult dating a minor ain’t my deallll]42: Are you available? [Lmfao yeah but don’t hold your breath I’m awful at relationships]43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? [My ex and bff dksdkdiajsai kill Me. I’ve had small crushes but I don’t rly let them grow too much if I realize they’re poppin up]44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? [Septum]45: Do you believe exes can be friends? [Yeah!!!!! I just reconnected with my ex from freshmen year and he’s cool]46: Do you regret anything? [Times where my mouth moved before my head could think and I hurt someone I cared about. Times where I didn’t listen. Times where I hesitated. But the past is a different country, and I try not to waste the present lamenting what I could’ve done.]47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? [Home. And the mistakes I’ve made.]48: Did you ever lose a best friend? [Yeah. She moved away and we just… talked less, and less, and less.]49: Was your last kiss a mistake? [Nah it was my great grandma]50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? [They have a bf and also dont like me plus im unlovable and bad at relationships and feelings *shrug emoji* the other person I’m interested in lives too far away and also doesn’t like me like that]51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? [Twas my gg and probably when I was a baby]52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? [All these last kiss ones are so angsty and sad and it was literally my grandma 5 hours ago I’m laughing]53: What was the last thing you ate? [McDonald’s French fries!!!!!]54: Did you get any compliments today? [Nah I’m in my road trip attire so I look like a mess]55: Where are you going on your next vacation? [New Orleans in October for voodoo fest!! Gonna see the foo fighters B)]56: Do you own anything from other countries?[I think I have Canadian money somewhere…]57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?[girls!!]58: Where have you lived most of your life?[Sweet Home Alabama]59: When was the last time you took a long drive?[DOING IT RN!!!!! 13 HOURS]60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?[yea but it was like, mashed up with truth or dare. Instead of kissing we asked them truth or dare]61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?[nah I’m pretty mild]62: Who do you text the most?[raven probably? Or max]63: What was the last movie you saw?[spirited away I think??? First time I ever saw it]64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?[I’m single, don’t remind me :P]65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?[I was 12 and right smack dab in the middle of my ugly awkward phase (thays still going on today!) So I had none lmao]66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?[nah]67: Do you curse around your parents?[GOOD LORD NO]68: Are you happy with where you live?[I? Hate Alabama. My city is okay but I want to move somewhere nicer]69: Picture of yourself? [I have a selfie tag. I would upload but I’m lazy. Maybe if I find a pic I like later I will]70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?[polyamory All the wayy!!!!! But monogamy is cool too]71: Have you ever been dumped?[probably in elementary school but I don’t remember? I usually am the one to end it bc I get freaked out and skittish around people genuinely caring about me so I break it up before they’re disappointed]72: What do you most like about making out?[being comfortable and close enough with someone to do it.]73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?[yup!]74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?[depends? I’ve asked to kiss someone and I’ve been asked equal amounts.]75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?[eyes? Idk there’s a lot that goes into finding someone attractive it’s hard to narrow it down]76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?[my mom]77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?[virgin]78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?[virgin]79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?[Any cartoon character I’m currently hyperfixated on]80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?[yes. But i would go slow and I wouldn’t want to meet their child until we were both sure this was something we wanted long term.]81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?[no its usually me? Wait i take that back!! One girl did while I was in hs but I’m pretty sure she only did it bc she just figured out her sexuality and I was queer and there.]82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?[nope I bottle that shit up!!!! But if it’s a long standing crush I’ll tell a few people eventually]83: Do you miss your last sweetie?[No.]84: Last time you slow danced with someone?[my friend Franklin at prom. We pretended to be spies on a mission forced to act casual as we scoped out potential enemies]85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?[??? Don’t like the skeptical quote marks. I’ve been in long distance relationships before, yes.]86: How can I win your heart?[just like…… be nice to me, ever, and I’m into it. Talk about things you like, ask me about things I like, try and get into/understand my interests and I’ll do the same?? Don’t make fun of me and don’t belittle my interests. The bar is low]87: What is your astrological sign?[leo]88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?[sleeping]89: Do you cook?[pasta!!!!!!!]90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?[yeah!!! 3 years of no talking and I reconnected with max recently]91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?[uh it’s complicated. Yes but idk if I’m in a good place for a relationship. I haven’t even begun to transition at all.]92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?[you say that like I could get multiple people to date me]93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?[nice dress style?? Glasses are good too. Idk questions like this are hard augh]94: Name four things that you wish you had![money, a job, plush darkwing duck toy, a car]95: Are you a player?[no]96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?[nooooope]97: Are you a tease?[hahahahaha no]98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?[nope!!! Not yet]99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?[maybe. But I don’t think you can love someone too deeply who doesn’t love you back]100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?[sure, plenty]101: Hugs or Kisses?[both??? Both is good]102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?[It’s Not shyness, it’s rejection I have a problem with]103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?[girls are pretty]104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?[Yeah I guess]105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?[If it was an open relationship and everyone knew the situation, then yea prob?? If not, then no.]106: Do you flirt a lot?[not really]107: Your last kiss?[my grandmaaaaa]108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?[not in a romantic way]109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?[not in a romantic way]110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?[next question]111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?[nope!! It’s a hopefully nice surprise for future me]112: Does someone like you currently?[probably not lol but ive got no idea!!]113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?[sure]114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?[I want to fall in love.]115: Ever made out with just a friend?[yeah]116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?[in a relationship I think?]117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.[just send me an ask and ill answer it]

This got a bit of self hatred dashed in there whoops sorry!!!

[songofsaraneth]

WHEPHEW what a busy weekend. journal-blogging it up bc it was a Good one and i wanna remember it

friday after work started with the birthday party for the town multicultural center!! one of my housemates plays in a marching/brass band and they performed at it, everyone drank free margaritas and had chips/salsa/cupcakes, and then we tried to play a pretty unsucessful game of 4-square with some children and made me realize what a difference height makes in that sport (we had to play in like, Ultra Squat position to be on the same level as the kids, so basically Leg Day).

friday night was ALSO the first Bike Party of the year, where everyone puts on costumes for that month’s theme (this one was “safari”), meet up behind the bike shop and the guy with the solar powered speakers on a bike trailer starts playing a bunch of music, and then we bike up and down main st and wave to the tourists and then have a roving dance party around town. usually in the culverts below the roads, under the highway bridge north of town, or along the bike path past the campgrounds (sometimes picking up extra people from the campsites who feel like partyin). generally you get to an area, dance for 30-45minutes, then bike to the next, dance more, etc. VERY EXERCISE I always forget how tiring it is ;_; but this is the last time it’ll be on a friday for a while cause Tourist Season, so it’s probably the last one me and all my housemates could get to together. we wore our matching zebra onesies (that we got for our blanket fort house party back in february) and there were two other zebras also in attendance. another friend dressed up as “the jungle” and i’m jealous I didn’t think of that first. it was VERY COLD THOUGH like FUCK it snowed for twenty whole minutes in the morning. luckily the onesie is  pretty warm. but we didn’t bike home till about midnight and i was So Sore the next day

saturday!! i was lazy and slept forever which was Excellent and then in the afternoon, met up with another mermaid visiting from Salt Lake with her family! i met up with her at her hotel and we swam in the pool for like 40 minutes before Noping out because it was cold and just sitting in the hot tub to chat instead lol. it was fun though! i’ve never met up with another mermaid for swimming before (the other time i tried we were rained out, but went to the aquarium instead, which was also super awesome) so that was neat! she had a Kariel sequin tail, which i’ve never seen up close before (40,000 sequins!!!!!), so that was cool. 

after that i went to a friends bday party! which started out totally normal (chatting, lots of food, his dad was in town so talked to him a bit), then did a pinata (did u know adults trying to smack a pinata is even more hilarious than than when children do it), then chatted a bit more and at like 10pm people started dancin. except three dudes were sort of alternating selecting songs were like, trying to make the styles as opposing as possible (hardcore rap followed by slow lyrical ballad followed by bouncy disney) and it became kind of a competition to... keep dancing anyway??? no matter how weird the songs got?? culminating in a swaying Hug Circle to My Heart Will Go On, squiggling amoeba-like through the living room and kitchen to envelop Music Selection Dude #2 Who Hated That Song but was standing by the computer and we were worried he was gonna change it, and then everyone just... slowly grabbed his body and held it horizontally, then lifted him into the air and slowly spun him in circles just below the ceiling before gently lowering him onto the floor (where he remained perfectly motionless) and doing synchronized hand waving over his body. IT GOT REALLY WEIRD. but no one questioned it everyone was perfectly silent or singing along to the lyrics until the song ended. what the fuck. i haven’t been part of something That bizarre since college (tho to be fair, there were a Lot of those moments in college). anyway party lasted until a bit after midnight.

TODAY SUNDAY!! at 9am met up with folks to go WHITE WATER RAFTING! it was the going away party for a friend, so we got a bunch of gear together/a pal’s free boat rental for working at a river company, and some personal boats, so 3 boats and about 12 people. second time ive been on the river this season, the first was february and Very cold/total splash guards against the water, but today was the first decent day this week! about 50-60F all day, though the water was a lot colder (although what the fuck is going ON this is the DESERT we should be like in the 70-80s range this time of year). everything went great at first, the rapids were easy, we rafted for a couple hours and then docked at a winery with a helpful pier, and jumped inside for buffet lunch and optional wine tasting. which like, WHAT an excellent concept, i hear they’re doing brunches soon, and whitewater rafting into/out of a fancy brunch seems IDEAL tbh.

...buuuuut we got to the first rapid after the winery/last rapid we were gonna hit of the day and just. totally flipped. we lost back left paddler (who took a drink of wine from his beer can like RIGHT as we went into the rapid smh) almost immediately, and i turned to see what happened to him (i was back right), and noticed that our captain/acting guide was just ALSO GONE??? I still don’t know HOW he fell out i guess he just catapulted on the first big wave... everyone (sans myself) was pretty drunk and at high water level (~15,000cfs) you can go straight through (or, RDTFM, aka “right down the fucking middle”, thats ur whitewater lingo for the day), but it was only at like ~8000cfs today so instead there was just... a rock. so chuck (acting captain) pops up a second later and manages to grab the boat, i haul him in, turn around to see charlie (back left paddle) somehow on the other side of our raft now floating the rapid, and two of the front paddlers trying unsuccessfully to reach him.

 then i look forward and OH GOD there is ANOTHER huge dip in front of us leading to aforementioned rock, and I sort of leapt to the left side/charlie’s spot to try to paddle off it, but no one was paying enough attention to coordinate and so we slammed it and the boat went riiiiiiight over. like, the most dramatic long-ways flip i’ve ever seen, threw/shoved us all down into the water. mostly i was thinking “OH FUCK” but also “SHOULDN’T HAVE BOTHERED PULL CHUCK BACK IN”, was under for maybe 5 seconds total, then popped up right behind the raft. pretty much everyone managed to hold onto the tie line and somehow i guess we also landed on charlie again so he had a hold as well. until we hit the next rock anyway, which popped the boat up for a second/swept me underwater and under the boat, and i ended up hand-over-handing it out onto the front side. which was easier for visibility/expectations but also i could see 10 feet in front of me that my backpack had come unsecured and was floating down the river without me, holding my phone (thankfully in a lifeproof/very waterproof case bc i’m not a Fool who takes electronics on rafting trips with no backup) and driver’s license and glasses hostage. and like 80% of me was ready to dive after it but while i’m an idiot i’m not That much of an idiot so i held onto the boat instead and watched it get farther and farther off. the first of our boats that went through (a  dinghy with two passengers) was waiting for us downstream and seemed like they were gonna get it, but then one of our people got swept way downstream so they were on mission Rescue Susan instead. but anyway after a very charged minute or so that felt more like ten, we managed to kick ourselves into an eddy and get over to the shore. 

at which point i became very confused bc our group now had 3 more people in it than were in our boat??? which is when i realized that our third boat, whcih had been behind us, had also capsized and dunked all passengers. but theirs was still trapped in the current (for like 5 whole minutes just bouncing on top of the first big rapid) so they all swam sans gear to where we ended up. anyway i sloshed to a nearby beach where some concerned rafters were watching (turned out to be our #3 boat guide’s coworkers, who’s company we were renting gear from, whoops), and over a ridge, and saw that boat #1 had sucessfully reclaimed susan, and a kind kayaker had saved both my backpack and one of our paddles. we dried off for a bit and checked everything over miraculously, the only casualties were some hats and sunglasses, one item per every person who flipped. the river gods were kind in their choice of sacrifices today. then we boated the last mile out and lay in the sand warming up until our car shuttle finished, and my friend who’s bday party i went to the night before & his gf & dad boated up RIGHT after us (they were also all at the multicultural center event friday) and laughed at us for having flipped. ah tiny desert towns. you see Everyone everywhere all the time. and i’ll see them again on wednesday for D&D so more mockery inbound.

anyway i got home and me n my roommate (also on the trip) took some VERY long/hot showers, drank some hot chocolate, and then watched cop drama tv shows in bed under the covers for 2 hours before ordering takeout soup and laying in bed some more. now i am laying in bed and about to go to sleep bc i’m exhausted but apparently still enough of an insomniac to never go to bed before midnight.