#as a metaphor for I was Hungy...

[kassandra-the-witch]

I SWEAR TO THE GODDESSES BEATRICE PLEASE STOP WITH THE COOKING METAPHOR UNTIL THE FOOD I ORDERED ARRIVES I AM STARVING AS IS

[scratchingworkstoo]

i hate this narratve that girl dinner is eating very little to appeal to society, its not, proana tt found it and tried to make it that, but the vast majority of girl dinner content I've encountered is either good ol' thirsty stuff like hey this character is hot i want to consume, or the true essence of girl dinner:

Scavaging the wastes (raiding your pantry/fridge) for sustenance (every premade snack/easily prepared snack) and nourishing the beast (hungy person).

Girl Dinner is NOT two halves of a cherry tomate on a plate, it's half a bag of chips, a whole bellpepper and leftover chinese takeout!!

Of course Girl Math has the garbage connotations because it is fundamentally a capitalist concept to justify purchases, but it's not inherently evil to call it Girl Math. Most people are not opperating under the delusion that buying something with cash is actually free because the money has left your account already. And people have been justifying buying something thats on sale/reduced because they "safe money" (wether the item was ever actually the unreduced price before or not).

I think a lot of these things, Girl Dinner, Girl Math, or that girl that explains finance concepts with "Girl Terms" is a reaction/evolution of the whole #GirlBoss stuff. It's silly to call a cobbled together meal Girl Dinner, It's silly to explain taxes with Girl Code metaphors, It's silly to find convoluted ways to justify buying something you don't need by saying you're saving money.

a woman is a hairy animal who sweats and grunts and excretes and hungers and gets wrinkly and dies eventually, AND IS ALLOWED TO BE SILLY!

fuck "girl lunch" fuck "girl math" a woman is a hairy animal who sweats and grunts and excretes and hungers and gets wrinkly and dies eventually. you have to love that.

[sunnetrolls]

[listens to poltergeist]

[thinks about overloaded xurkit again]

[feral-birb-husband]

light blue and dark blue. come back to our totally-not-a-metaphor-for-an-everlasting-hell lighthouse, I am lonely and the thing living in the vent keeps trying to feed me to its hungy babies 😔

Light Blue: We’re being sent to the same circle of hell.

Dark Blue: I have to take care of a lighthouse with you.

Bro, is the thing in the vents crawling like Mars? If so, better hecking run because there’s a good chance it has molotovs like Mars. 

(chomp)

[erineverly]

“Please, I’d probably be eating glue, too, just to impress you. And later, we could end up at the same hospital with severe stomach problems and have cute dates in those ugly gowns they make you wear, share jello and stuff.” Giggling at the thought, she refuses to believe her teenage self wouldn’t be smitten with Axl. “See? That doesn’t make sense to me ‘cause I think red-haired people are the luckiest people in the world because they have such a unique hair color, unlike the rest of us, mere mortals. The only ones who make fun of pretty strawberries like you are just jealous — jealous potatoes, mad because they’re so ordinary.” Like real potatoes and strawberries, she thinks, smiling triumphantly because this surely is one of her best metaphors. As if to prove her point, she reaches out and begins to absently twirl a strand of his flaming locks around her finger, she doesn’t even realize that she’s getting him wet as suds dribble down her hand. “Thank you, Axl. You’re such an angel, you know that?” She blows the older redhead a kiss and tries not to let her insecurities get to her for once. She genuinely loves her curls now, but when she was a teenager, she saw them as one of her flaws rather than advantages. “Bundle of cryin’ joy! Oh, that you are, Sebastian Shiloh,” the brunette coos with a small smile, pacified by both the back rubs and the funny comment. “Maybe he’s just showing off? Saying, watch this, daddy. I can scream louder than you.” Chuckling as she attempts to put a less depressing spin on this situation, she gently tickles the underside of Sebastian’s tiny foot but fails to coax even just a single giggle out of the boy. “Does he know that we have a crazy neighbor who will soon call the cops and CPS on us?” She can’t help but think Gabriella is crazy enough to do that. “Hmm, maybe.” Poking one of Axl’s adorable dimples, she could marvel at him for hours — he looks a lot like their baby when he smiles like this. “Which of Madonna’s songs should I sing to him first?” Joking around, although she actually used to put headphones on her belly when she was pregnant and made Sebastian listen to Madonna so maybe he’d find some comfort in the familiar tunes. “9:30?! Already?” She’s certainly lost track of time, but she figures that’s what happens to most parents when their days revolve around diapers and feedings and playtime and naps. “Mr. Grumpy Rose is probably hungry. Is that right, little bear? Are you hungy? Aww, my poor baby. Wet and hungy. What a life.” She carefully lifts his skinny arms up to wash his armpits, gently patting his delicate skin with the soapy washcloth. “Yeah, you’re right. He probably only dislikes it because it’s a brand new sensation to him. I mean, it’s his first bath. He probably doesn’t know what’s happening to him. It will get better with time.” Beaming at the singer as she lets his words sink in, she loves how optimistic he is, how happy to be right here with her and Sebastian. “Well, in a way, it’s our first bath, too.” The first time they’re bathing their own baby. “That’s right. I’m his mommy. Give me one more week and I’ll know exactly how to handle these things,” she muses proudly, lifting Sebastian’s legs up a little so that she can clean his bottom and all the in between creases. The boy doesn’t seem one bit pleased with his mother’s ministrations, but once the paci is placed in his mouth, his instincts take over and he briefly calms down. “Axl. He’s never even seen a boat in his life. How is he supposed to like a song about rowing one?” Erin playfully scolds, keeping her voice down as if not to spark another cry fest.

rcsechild​:

“Ha. Until she shoos you away and hurts your feelings.” Cone Lady just seems like the exact type of grouchy lady who’d definitely hurt Erin’s sensitive feelings. “Oh, everything we had in common then. Shy, awkward, braces and weird hair. Except there was nothing wrong with your hair, what’s wrong with that type of hair?” Clearly her curls is what he associates her with but it wouldn’t deter him from her. “Wouldn’t make you any less beautiful than you are.” Axl adds, putting it sincerely because it’s the truth. “I don’t think you’re an idiot. Different cities have different cultures. Some are big on things and some aren’t. Indiana and the south and probably most of the southern east coast is, though. I think I fiercely believed in God as a young child but then the church I was put in started making me question God cause they were teaching all of the wrong things about Him once I started realizing I was being brainwashed. Then I strayed away from God entirely and didn’t really know what to believe in, I was seriously lost on that. But then, I don’t know, something changed. Once you’re taught about God, it doesn’t ever really go away and I guess I came back to God once I let go of all of my resentment and I found my own beliefs on God. Not someone else’s teachings and brainwashing. And I don’t want to risk it, I want to definitely go to a better place in the next life after spending it in misery in this life.” So that’s for sure. “But. I know one thing. You and Sebastian Rose make me more happy than I’ve ever been… I never even knew happy until I got you both. So maybe that’s God’s doings too.” he quietly rambles, smiling and admiring the sweet baby. “No honey, Sunday school is at church. That’s just what they call it. I decided to do it myself when there was openings to get out of piano lessons and sitting in the choir listening to preaching.” That’s something else he learned, Pentecostal preaching is a lot different than other preaching he’s been to. At his old church, they preached bizarre things. His grandmas is normal and an entirely different world. “Erin, you’re his mother. You’re not gonna hurt him. Gotta learn somehow.” If he doesn’t push her to do it she’s never going to learn and she’s going to miss out on these moments of bathing their newborn. “When is his next feeding? Maybe he is.” Hungry too, he means. If it’s been awhile. “Oh, it must be the most horrible singing he’s ever heard in his whole life.” Axl laughs after he stops singing. “What about a paci? Do you want a paci, Sebastian?” The redhead questions in a squeaky baby voice, gently scratching him under his little chin. Moving his finger away from his palm and himself over to get another wash cloth out, bringing it back to dip it into the water, soaking it and then squeezing on the baby soap bottle with the pink lid aiming for the cloth. Lathering the soap in, Axl helps out and gets Sebastian’s other foot while he kicks at the water and blows his eardrums out.

“Pft, it takes more than one grumpy, old lady to hurt my feelings,” Erin insists confidently, refusing to admit Axl’s right even when they both know that he is — sometimes it takes less than one mean comment to make her cry. “Okay, that means we’d get to bond over our shyness and awkwardness, and be the best of friends.” Just like they are now. This thought takes her back to that one conversation they had a few months ago, about how they’d manage to find each other in a different life, and she can’t help but smile because it means that the universe will always be on their side and try to bring them together no matter what. “Well, all of my friends had straight hair and I thought it looked way more beautiful than my curly mess. Besides, my mom never knew how to take care of my curls because everyone in her family has always had straight hair, and so she never taught me how to properly care for my curls.” She could either straighten them or go out looking like a stray dog who’d just crawled through barbwire. “I’m sorry, baby. It’s heartbreaking when you put it like that, how that awful church and cruel people made you lose faith at such a young age. There’s probably a lot of people who have had a similar experience. They believed in God when they were children and then lost father as teenagers because they didn’t agree with their church’s teachings. I’m sure some of them have never found their way back and don’t believe in God to this day. It’s sad how many preachers do more bad than good.” It’s one of the reasons why she’s so skeptical about sending Sebastian, once he’s old enough, to a Sunday school. She doesn’t want him around people who have bad intentions and are so full of hatred or worse… Hurt little children. Keeping one hand on their baby to make sure that he doesn’t accidentally roll over in his little basin or something, Erin quickly curls her other arm around Axl and pulls him in for a hug. “Stop, you’re gonna make me cry. You can’t say things like that.” Especially now that she’s even more emotional because of all the postpartum hormones still coursing through her veins. There’s tears welling up in her eyes already but she just hugs him tighter and discreetly wipes them away using his shirt. “I could say the same thing about you. I’ve never been this happy before. I had no idea people could be this happy. So, it sure feels like God’s doings to me. I mean, even the fact that we have a healthy baby after all that… You know,” she trails off, sniffing and shaking her head because she’s embarrassed how little it takes to make her cry. But then again, who wouldn’t cry? They almost lost Sebastian twice. They almost broke up for good countless times. Yet, here they are — a family of three and happier than ever. It must be a miracle. “Hey, maybe in some other universe you’re not a rockstar, but a preacher. I hope I sing you that Dusty Springfield’s song every single day.” Giggling as she tries to lighten up the mood, she makes a mental note to herself to make him listen to Son of a Preacher Man later today. “That’s not really a valid argument, honey.” Just because she’s his mother doesn’t mean she can do no harm. Of course, unintentionally, but still — she definitely can. “But I appreciate the encouragement,” she muses with a soft laugh, trying to disguise how she really feels, how nervous she is. Every time she looks at Sebastian and sees how small and fragile he is, she’s reminded of the fact that her body’s already let him down several times. “At 7, I think? What time is it now?” She never wears her watch, even though she probably should now. “The doctor said we should try and feed him every 2-3 hours.” Maybe that’s why he’s so upset about bath time — who likes to shower with an empty stomach? “Yeah, he’ll be your most ruthless critic when he’s older for sure. I mean, imagine crying while Axl Rose is singing to you. The audacity.” Giggling as she jokes to try and muster some courage, she picks up the washcloth again and begins to gently rub the sweet smelling suds into Sebastian’s little belly. Fingertips tickling his skin to try and cheer him up, she even begins to make silly faces but the boy’s not looking at her. His eyes remain closed and he continues to wail. “Gosh, I think we left his paci in the bedroom. Will you bring it over?” She asks, speaking louder and louder because she doubts Axl can hear her. It’s so heartbreaking that Erin can barely listen to it without tearing up herself. She has to constantly remind herself that they’re not hurting him, that bath time is fun. “Do you know any other nursery rhymes?”