#as a lesbian I blushed so hard I can’t listen this public omg

[cinematicexcursions]

so just listened to lunch by billie eilish for the first time and i was fine until she said ‘ So I'm pullin' up a chair, And I'm puttin' up my hair’

[adashelbysgirlfriend]

A Taste for Something Younger  - Polly Grey Headcannon

Omg I love the Ada roommate headcanon! Could you do the same for Polly? Maybe with a woman a little older/same age as Ada (because we accept age gaps in this household) and her and Polly actually get together in the end? I'd die for that ( @vikingsxf​ )

this idea gave me a big gay hard on and honestly I'm so glad you had it; Polly doesn't get enough love. Ive gone for a younger (Ada age) reader because we definitely support a healthy age gap relationship and i just want to pretend its me who's with polly so. ALSO THIS IS A BIT SMUTTY JUST A LITTLE BIT BUT JUST A WARNING OKAY BABES 

you and Ada had been friends since she started at the library

you both had a lot in common and she would tell you about her crazy relatives which always kept you entertained

obviously you had no clue that the Ada Throne you knew was actually thee Ada Shelby 

when you finally do meet her brother in one of his unannounced visits to her flat its a massive shock that your besties family are the notorious Shelby's 

she brings you out to meet the other brothers and John and Arthur both take a liking to you

when Finn tells Polly about Adas new friend from the city who is breaking hearts all over Birmingham she doesn't really have much to think 

i mean it wouldn't be the first time the shelby boys lost their heads over a girl (especially dumb and dumber) and it probably won't be the last

but when she gets the pleasure of meeting you she can't help but understand why the lads lost their heads

you're stunning, not just physically 

you're mind is almost too wise for your years

“you've got an old soul” 

“thank you, Mrs Gray”

“its Miss, and call me Pol”

you're around a lot

you help in the office with the other women and come for drinks when Tommys in a good mood and feels like having the gang out

Polly’s sass making an impression

you're really intimidated by her because she's just this all knowing mature lady who is also really stunning 

she invites you and ada over to have a girly evening 

you literally don't want to go

anxious as hell

i feel like Polly is one of those people that gives off this no bullshit vibe, so you're scared to even chat to her just incase you say the wrong thing

dressing to impress by buying a new outfit and feeling like a fool for it

its the first thing Polly notices when she sees you 

“you look ravishing don't you”

literally blushing all over

stumbling on your words

Ada has no clue whats going on and is so confused

maybe even a little jealous? why are you swooning over her auntie so much 

Ada gets a surprise phone call and has to leave and you are wanting to leave with her but Polly all nah stay 

this is the (best) WORST CASE SCENARIO PEOPLE 

ALONE WITH POLLY 

in her HoUSE

getting drunk to hide the fear but then also getting loose lipped

chatting absolute beans with her and she can't stop laughing at you 

Because she loves that you're a bit scared of her but seeing a more bold side of you kinda turns her on

the drinking night becomes a weekly thing

you start to relax into Polly presence 

seeking comfort in your time in her home 

Ada doesn't even get an invite anymore

getting drunk together and her listening while you babble on about literally the most random topics ever

you get two whiskies in and start telling her all the facts you know about giraffes or the fall of the Berlin wall

and she just loves to sit and watch you 

insane tension 

a lot of staring 

touching but nothing that would cross the friendship line, flirting with it though 

her doing you makeup and telling you about the wild things she's done 

that almost so close you could kiss but without the kiss tension when she's in your face putting your lipstick on

she says you look good in red, which you don't believe but at this point she could tell you you looked good in a teletubbie costume and a bitch would be dressed head to toe as Lala

she sees you start to push your comfort zones and she loves it 

the new found confidence makes her horny as hell

Jealous Ada is more jealous when she sees you walking round in Polly’s shade of lipstick 

“she must really like you to let you borrow that” - but its LACED IN GAY ANGST BECAUSE WTF HOW DID HER AUNT STEAL YOU 

i feel like you make the first move 

which isn't something you or Polly expected

like you've both been drinking all night and for some reason you start doing vodka shots

and this is the good shit vodka were stalking russian standard pissed off your tits shit love

and you watch her neck those shots like she's getting paid by the hour

and you just 

walk stumble right on over there and fall into her lap 

grab that sexy face in both hands and give her the softest kiss she's ever had in her life

it feels like her first kiss ever

which is saying something because you betcha that womans had a lot of kisses

polly doesnt know how to respond she's SHOOK 

she doesn't even close her eyes she's like 

literally frozen in shock 

pulling straight back

whoops

suddenly all that drunk confidence is gone and you're hit with that crippling anxiety you get when you've done something wrong and been caught for it 

Polly grabbing a fist full of your hair and pulling you back down 

now she's KISSING YOU AND OH LORD 

passion 

she's not even clumsy when she's drunk like you are this woman is EXPERIENCED

lip biting oh my christ 

not that pussyass nibbling but actual biting 

and tongue 

and i mean after that loves theres no going back really is there

finding your confidence again or maybe just horniness and drifting your hand under her skirt

your newfound confidence surprises her but she refuses to let you know that because hello she's Polly fucking Gray 

“dont start something you can't finish, little dove”

“do you want me to stop?”

“i didn't say that”

this is the START OF SOMETHING NEW

leaving her panting and sweating, lipstick smudged and clinging to the arms of the chair

i mean once it happens once its a common occurrence loves

not that either of you are complaining 

not just sex but dates in her living room by the fire

walks together arm and arm 

nobody really thinks to much of seeing her and you together, either assuming you're just one of the boys girlfriends or that you're her niece or something 

and they couldn't be more wrong but their ignorance is bliss

she loves how young you make her feel

and you love how much she takes care of you

i feel like maybe she's a little nervous of baring all to you; physically and mentally

her body is slightly more mature than yours, things aren't as new and shiny as yours may be; i feel like she’d take some reassurance maybe before she knew that you wouldn't just leave her for someone your own age

not that Polly is one to doubt her self worth but she feels like maybe she's just a phase for you 

you wouldn't want her any other way though; you love her body and lets be real we all do too 

she takes even longer to be open about her memories and past

i feel like she slowly but surely reveals more and more about her private life until she can finally trust you with the complete story 

the rest of the shelbys know better than to question Polly on her personal choices; but they are happy to see the carefree woman they remember from when they were young 

even salty Ada can see the happiness you bring out in her, although she doesn't want to admit it to herself

Polly buys lingerie for you all the time 

being bratty and flashing your bra strap to her in public places 

or grabbing her hand and running it under your dress until she can feel the lace of your underwear when you're both out in the Garrison 

she has this “wait until i get you home” look that you'll do anything to provoke 

she teases you until you beg for her to let you finish as punishment 

“you see what you get for being naughty, y/n?”

she likes it when you ride her face, because although Polly is still in control she likes to put you in a position of power

and she likes to be able to see all of you when you're close to the edge

angry sex, because lets be real Polly can be a snappy little bitch and when you both get angry what better way is there to solve the issue than rough lesbian sex 

she loves your smile 

and your giggle

it makes her feel like a teenager all over again 

nobody really understands how you put up with such a intimidating, dominating woman everyday but they don't see cuddly Polly who likes to be little spoon 

she does her very best to keep you out of the family business and always will because you're one of the only people on earth Polly couldn't live without 

you often joke about how Polly would just move in after you but she knows that after you there would be nobody else for her

“without you my little doll, i couldn't be me” 

lots of lap sitting 

hair stroking  

the sweetest kisses; she tastes of cherry and whisky

she says you're like pink gin, sweet tasting and extremely intoxicating 

Polly had given up on love until she found you, and now she's got you best believe she will spend the rest of time she has on earth making sure she keeps you 

[kuroandtheguys]

QUOTES (as in things i’ve said, not necessarily original things but things ive said.) FROM MUN HIKARY,HER DAD AND CLASSMATES AS RP STARTERS:

"get your fuck boy out of my house"

"Listen here you fuck nugget"

"don't touch me you bafoon"

"leave the soul alone"

"WHERE IS SPACE DAD"

"i got some shoes from my drug dealer, i dont know what he laced them with but i've been tripping all day...."

"Sure thing Chew-Brocka"

"the beatings will continue until morale improves."

"looking to protect yourself or deal some damage?"

"The egg-salts?"

"much cheese cake"

"FIGHT ME"

"DO YOU FOLKS LIKE COFFEE!"

"baby,princess, dear,dearest. Do me a favorite and get your head out of my ass"

"Whats up gays!"

"Its 1 get the fuck up you lil shit"

"its a porch...not a deck....."

"when one plays the earth game twister one finds out more about the other's than they wanted"

"pain is your reward for being near me."

"oh it's the nasty crime boi"

"follow the yellow-dick road"

"these jokes arent the only thing that suck"

"stupid controls! I said walk to the side not jump off the cliff"

"_GET YOUR DICK OUT OF MY GODDESS!"

"Zarkon unhand my space father"

"sadness is merely a part of life."

"BON BON YOU WANT SUM FUC"

"they're gonna play Mario cart"

"that's how friendship dies"

"ID BE THE TINY ANGRY GUY, I CANT REMEMBER HIS NAME"

"Space Dad jokes are out of this world"

"space dad part of a balanced breakfast"

" i wonder whats over here, oh its plot"

"not all wood resists magic damage"

"destroy us all!"

"i could pee in a bucket and tell him it's beer."

"i would fuck lance because who wouldn't"

"ITS BECAUSE IM A DEMON ISINT IT? THATS RACIST!"

" IF YOU LOVED ME YOUD KILL THE SPIDERS"

"Fite me!"

"fuck Shiro because, just look at him. Who wouldn’t?"

"I am tumblr senpai"

"Why is he grinding?!"

"They bonded by beating the shit out of eachother."

"ah ah put those grabby hands away." (wow without context that sounds really dirty)

"if I have social anxiety and YOU have social anxiety then who's going to order the food?"

"now if they made space dad shaped mac and cheese i wouldnt mind so much"

"it could be 1 of 2 things metal leg or morning wood"

"i like chicks not dicks"

"why cant you just say vagina?"

"Ok so if you ever need a break from your mech with a watersport kink let me know."

"I love you" "dude thats gay..." "we are litterly having sex"

"watch your mouth you little shit"

"yes daddy dearest"

"COME HERE MY SPACE CHILD"

"Let me hug you space child"

"i must adopt this lost space child"

"soft and warm space dad"

"omg your so extra"

"hgn those claws he could just rip me apart"

"we can go inside"

"i wouldn't want to expose you"

"he's see more of your girlfriend than you have"

"we had a bonding moment i punched you in the face!"

"I ate my school"

"this limp noodle"

"PRAISE MUNWAY"

"You wanna ride my huge dragon"

"and i don't know....somethin' bout friendship..."

"Tid be a pitty if i killed him off"

"you've been shanked" "..with a ruler..."

"did you just giggle your boobs at me?"

"It was an earth shattering shit"

"I am the pumpkin gardian"

"Hold my beer and watch this mother fucker

"Careful nuts make you swell, just ask your sister"

"My dad the crack dealer"

"balls deep in an au"

"Don't fuck on my expensive leather couch you cunts"

"He's a perceptive hoe"

"blubbering balls of teenage awkwardness"

"What can I say except~ FUCK OFF"

"I am the alpha dad"

"thats a kick in the danger clam"

"your gonna get your weiner stuck in the baby gate"

"I'm taking you back to the pound"

"I'm so sorry the princess had his feelings hurt"

“Hey demons, it’s ya boi, Satan. Give me the homie back”

"my name is stan, im satan"

"I Came Here For A Good Time And All I Got Was Porn"

"it went from warm to freezing because snow miser is shitting on us"

"Near death can be fixed with ducktap"

"I don't remember what I did with my pants"

"It smells" "You smell" "Your face smells" "You almost got punched I'm the face"

"Bueno bear"

"MAKE THAT ANGST YOUR BITCH"

“Gently bullied him into submission”

*Holds up fishing pole and bubbles* hookers and blow.

"To hard, to thick. I'd get hair stuck in my teeth" "...don't ever say that in public."

"Even lesbians like babies"

"My dad is like a fun vampire"

You are a steampunk blood warrior with a plan"

"You are a steampunk blood warrior with a flan"

"You've been hit by you've been struck by a smooth lesbian"

"You just made the inquisitior gay" "Yes" 5 minutes later "So what else us on the table" "The inquisitior"

"Did...did you just call the Cat a butt plug?"

"not like that you kinky fuck"

"kinky princess Matthew holt and his fluffy sidekick Mr whiskers."

"DONT MAKE ME KINKSHAME YOU AGAIN" "MAYBE YOU'LL KINKSHAME ME HARD THIS TIME"

"I'm gay and I'm ready to party"

"You founded a country on cocaine and prostitution?"

"You know what looks delicious" "What" "Your tight ass" "Your a hoe, like ben" "_ lemme smash"

"Human Sacrifice is always an option if you aren't a weak little bitch."

"Last time you had an imaginary friend I'm pretty sure it was a demon"

" I don't want to be propositioned by you in private!"

"Don't vore the dogs"

"Surely not everyone was kung-fu fighting" "They were" "..we're they fast as lightning?" "No they were slow, Tai Chi mother fucker"

"There’s a train of thought but it’s been de railed and Billy the kid robbed it."

"Shes just where burgers go to die"

"Im a priest to our lady of sin and this is my seeing eye dragon"

"Hello nightmares my old freind"

"they took some scaly lizard dick"

"I would go to Satan jazz club"

"Gandalf the off white"

"Stop kicking my puppy"

"You sleep darted that man in the dick"

"i didn't hit puberty...i just kinda shook it's hand"

"Tall, dark, warm and edgy. The perfect dad"

"Cerberus thinks he's a lap dog"

"thank god for incredible upper body strength"

"No ship wars. I multi ship like an adult" "Am I an adult I poly ship?" "Yes"

" my flaccid dagger"

"He's running around like a squirrel on crack"

"Could you please acidenly flex somewhere else your distracting me"

"It is the first day of Christmas fucker"

"Don't make me beat ypu with egg nog"

"Why did it suddenly become British?"

"You've been BLUNDERSTRUCK"

"Slav tellaported from another dimension to punch you in the arm"

"Floating kingdom of dabalon"

"I like my nightshade pomegranate flavored"

"dont dab on my boobs"

"The first vampire ran into the sun"

"I need a pocket sendak"

"Four score and 7 years ago our founding pirates"

"Been fueling up on....."

"Life is a highway?"

"the lyrics are coke and whiskey dumb ass"

"all i want for Christmas is the dreamiest daddy."

"HAIL KURO"

"patience yields fucking"

"Gray haired man on a house coming through" "I tottally thought you said gay haired man"

"Oh... mood"

"You wrap presents like a blind t rex"

"i take a look at me enormous-"

"white privilege."

"I swear to all of the gods I'm going to climb you like a fucking vine"

"The pellar, he uh.... loves his goat"

"whispers goat fuckerrrr"

"sleeping with slytherins" "dont you mean sirens?" "same fucking thing"

"No one told you life was gonna be this-" "Gay?"

"I am truly the hobo on top of the polar express" "No your the homo ontop of the polar express" "Can't she be a homo hobo?"

"Kinkshame me harder"

“Kinkshame me harder spicy papa”

"Male griffin returns and is like what the fuck did you do to my wife"

"WITH YOUR SHAG CARPET ID BE GETTING HAIR BALLS"

"Drug cloud please disperse"

"Just cause I'm gay dosent mean the cake needs to be"

"BITCH I OUTRANK YOU"

"Just cause I'm gay dosent mean the cake needs to be"

"Right in the paw patroler"

"Stuffed em up Mr patato head's butt"

"feed me"

"i swear if you start singing-"

"must be blood"

"here she gose again"

"must be fresh"

"i dont wanna hear this"

"FEED ME, FEED ME SEYMORE~"

"Get on the fucking dragon or I will leave you in this tower"

"Vivia le roi" "LONG LIVE THE REVALUATION" "No.... long live the king"

"I'm a senior my vote counts more"

"I am gentle snek"

"The boner wizzard is a girl" "That's a dragon" "Girl dragon"

"my father the actual 5 year old" "thats right 5 times a whole bunch"

"why..... is your icon a crotch buldge?"

"Layers" "Like an oinion" "Yes and their all gonna make you cry"

"You blushing" "I'm pasty and I burn in the sun anytime I go out." "So your burned..?" "Yes fucker"

 "You should be careful dancing around with those daggers when I'm throwing fire" "It won't hurt me. It's friendly fire"