#as a beloved dog owner myself this is criminal to me

[teatitty]

First time Iruka sleeps over at Kakashi's place he wakes up absolutely immobilised by the dogs in all their weird cuddle pile sleep positions. He turns his head to the side to see which of them is cramping up his arm. It's Kakashi himself, smiling in his sleep in the dopiest way possible. He looks so goddamn cute with the dogs all around them Iruka has to cover his own mouth to muffle a delighted squeal

[ecotone99]

[HR] The Confession of William Kane

The following text is an excerpt from the last pages of William Kane’s diary, following an investigation of the various crimes he confessed to on the night of October 13th, 1911.

It is on this dreaded night that I must confess a story that has plagued me for six months now, which has now reached its final horrifying culmination. It is said that only true criminals would be near the point that my demons have driven me, so much to the point that after this crime against humanity is done, I shall put myself in the shackles that I belong. May God forgive the heinous act I am about to commit, for I believe no one else will.

The only person I am willing to plead forgiveness from is my mother. She warned me of the horrors of consuming foreign bodies, and it was her trust that I have forsaken the most. If you read this, mother, forgive me. You were all I had left in this world, aside from these fiends that have taken residence in my soul.

My journey began six months ago, April 13th of 1911, when I had finally discovered a lamp that I suspected would grant me wishes rivaled only by the great genies of ancient Arabic legend. It had taken me months of poring documents and records, until at last, I found the legendary artifact among a collection of useless knick-knacks in a desolate town, somewhere in the desert of New Mexico. Where the collector bought it from, I do not know, and I wish not to know. Seeing the effects it had upon me, the terrifying implications of knowing its owner are too great. I made the deal right there in the shop and realized too late the insane conclusions that would result from this.

To further explain that deal I made, I must begin by saying that it was wholly consensual on my behalf. I had wished for eternal life. The demons agreed to the proposal, on the stipulation that I would feed them for as long as I live. And I have done that; to a terrible degree. Little did I think of the consequences of the contract I had made until I began the first killings that would grow in magnitude over the course of months.

After only one week, I realized that I could feed them on cooked foods any longer. The only thing that satiates their palate is raw, living meat. It took a week for this to dawn on me, after awakening one night to a spider that had crawled into my mouth and had given me more sustenance than I had eaten in months. The first morsels following were small creatures: insects, mice, birds I rarely caught with a knife alone. I was slow at first. The devilish creatures were swift and difficult to catch. But I grew quick! I could easily outrun them after only a few days. Their small bodies satiated what the demons required.

But they always needed more from me.

After a week or so of constant hunting, I became less and less fulfilled by these small morsels. At the same time, I laid eyes on my neighbor’s new cat, bought only the week before my demonic contract. It was a plump, round thing; orange in color and quite lethargic. It was named aptly by my neighbor: Mr. Waddles, though I soon found that this cat was not male but female. The poor thing could hardly leap up to the window of her owners' apartment and always had to be let inside through the front door.

One afternoon, while my neighbor was at work, I spied the cat waiting outside the door of her owner. Ensuring no one was around, I snatched the creature. Oh, how it fought! I still have marks from its scythe-like claws to this day, raked across my forearms. But that’s always the best part of the hunt, in my opinion; the struggle of your prey as you bring it home for the feast. He made for quite a delicious morsel indeed.

It was a day after that first morbidly scrumptious meal that my neighbor set about questioning the neighborhood on her cat's whereabouts. She questioned me first of all. I always suspected that she had never liked me, and this recent disappearance only fueled her doubts about me. However, there was no question to be made on my behalf. I could not possibly know her cat's whereabouts. The creatures remaining bones—devoid of any meat or fat, no doubt—were buried beneath her very yard!

I have been often told by family and friends I have a sick sense of humor. After this and the subsequent events, I am not afraid to admit that they were right.

The plump feline nourished the demons for a few days, but it only took that long for them to garner their hunger once again. Every three days, they required a beast of similar size to that cat, Mr. Waddles. I severely hate myself now in showing the absolute enormity and filling capacity of that creature. Perhaps if I had waited longer to introduce that large of a meal, my situation would not have escalated so quickly. Posters piled up on the streets, posted on every street corner and lamp post, searching for the cats, dogs, puppies, and kittens I had snatched and eaten while they writhed in pain just days before.

I always returned the bones and inedible organs to their owners one way or another. Anonymous packages, discreet burials; the list of tactics I schemed were endless during this time. I continued this calling card for months, as the demons became satiated by the regular meals.

The pace picked up gradually, culminating three months in so that single day I was forced to consume one beloved pet. I slowly began to realize the unstable condition I had put myself in. I had to find a solution to feed these demons, and as if God himself had answered my constant prayers, one came. Her name was Sylvia White.

Sylvia was a young woman, twenty years of age with stark black hair and dainty, elvish features. She moved next door to me in my apartment complex, and I immediately took a liking to her, for the following two reasons.

She was single, had no one to look after, and, most importantly, no one to look after her. Through conversation, I learned that she had come here after a particularly nasty divorce that separated her from any family that would care for her. No one home meant significantly more opportunities for my plan to hatch in.

She was also not popular amongst the inhabitants of the neighborhood, either. I made sure of this by securing that I was the first person she met when she arrived. A few vile rumors were all it took for her to never talk to the neighbors on this street or the ones parallel. She also made it known to me that she knew no one in town. Besides me, of course. I made it evident that I was the only one in town that she could trust. Miraculously, she did.

Both of these reasons made her the perfect target.

It took one month for me to memorize her daily routine, from sunrise to sundown. You may find it perverted of me to do this, but it was my only choice. I believed that if I could satisfy the demons with an even greater sacrifice, then perhaps I would find a new way to habituate this lifestyle.

After doing this, I found the perfect interval to perform my crime. The thirty minutes she spends to get ready before bed are when she is particularly vulnerable, and it is then that I entered her home stealthily and incapacitated her by asphyxiation. I must say that it brought me great pleasure to hunt this one. If anything, I saw it as the grand prize of the ghastly acts I have committed.

The culmination of all my crimes should leave me disgusted. However, I have felt more alive in six months than my entire thirty years of existence. I feel equal remorse towards my actions though, considering the great deal of stress it must have impressed upon my neighbors. It is from that fact that I have written this journal, to prove to my neighbors that I felt justified in my actions, if not sorry for their eaten companions.

She is chained in my bedroom as I write these final lines. I do not intend to desecrate her body further, as I do not lust after women the same way that many men seem to do. I wish only to consume, to fulfill the hunger of these demons so that I will go to prison knowing at least that I had at the very least tried.

After the deed is done, I hope to be put in the thickest and heaviest shackles fit for only the worst crimes against humanity possible. I am for these acts; the promise of immortality was too great, and to me it seemed worth the sacrifice of others.

The demons have plagued my life for well over half a year. I would like to believe that I will indeed live forever if only to feel the cruel punishment of eternal hunger. While they granted me immortality, our agreement never stipulated that I would not feel the pain that accompanies living indefinitely.

After one month of investigation, the following details were found regarding this case, which may influence how effectively this document can be used as evidence:

a. Sylvia White was alive at the time of these writings, and has since claimed that, “I have never met this man save for the day I arrived, in which he established himself as a harmful presence to me and I subsequently requested a restraining order from the court.” Documentation proves that this restraining order does indeed exist.

b. All of the locations where the pet corpses are supposedly buried have been investigated thoroughly. No remains, skeletal or otherwise, have been found.

c. William Kane had come into the station to confess his crime, this text in hand, covered in blood. He claimed the blood belonged to Sylvia White. The blood of Kane’s body is type A, Sylvia’s blood is type AB. Coincidentally, Kane’s blood is type A. It is unknown if the blood found on Kane’s body is his own or perhaps another suspect that he has as of yet disclosed to the authorities.

d. The lamp mentioned in the above text was found buried beneath Kane’s yard, filled with fresh blood. It is unknown how the blood has stayed fresh, as the contents above it appear to not have been disturbed for a week or more. The officer who discovered this object disappeared two weeks after the discovery. Following his departure, the lamp was found to be missing. It remains unaccounted for.

Due to a lack of evidence of crimes but clear evidence of mental deficiencies in the case of William Kane, the defendant has been released without charges pressed.

A week after this statement, Kane vanished with no trace. No one is aware of his current location.

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[robertmcangusgroup]

The Daily Tulip

The Daily Tulip – News From Around The World

Tuesday 26th September 2017 – Freedom Day

Good Morning Gentle Reader….  Today at 3.11am I am once again free to post on Facebook, I served my time, Seven Days, as according to Facebook I failed to comply with Community Standards, set out by Facebook, the company that encouraged people to seek “Jew Haters”. Facebook was allowing advertisers to target demographics like “Jew haters” to reach users interested in anti-Semitic subjects. COO Sheryl Sandberg called the feature “a fail on our part” and indicated that the company didn’t know it was an option until the report was released because the categories had been generated by an unsupervised algorithm. Facebook says it has disabled those features and has promised to add “more human review” to ad targeting processes. So punish me for providing a service to our readers under “Free Speech” with no attempt to profit on my behalf, gets me 7 days in Facebook Jail and for Facebook that does things for profit ..an apology…. Makes you think doesn’t it…

PENSIONER’S GIANT COCK HAS BECOME A TOURIST ATTRACTION IN FIFE…  Jim Hughes has erected a 14 foot rooster in his front garden. A Scottish pensioner’s home has become a local tourist attraction after he erected a 14 foot (4.25 metre) cockerel in his front garden. 73-year-old Jim Hughes pruned an ivy-covered tree into the shape of a male chicken outside his home in East Wemyss, and even added a beak and a comb to make it look even more cock-like. “Originally, it was an old cherry blossom tree,” Hughes told Fife Today. It got that big that I was worried it would be blown over and hit a car.” ”It’s in the front garden and looks out into the street. Since then, quite a few people have been stopping to take photographs,” he added. “I call it Jock. And it’s crowing for independence.” Published in the Public Domain: The Scotsman, BBC, The Telegraph, The Mail, The Scotsman Sun, and believe it or not August 15, 2016 Facebook…

ZIMBABWEAN PASTOR SELLS ‘HOLY PENS’ THAT MAKE STUDENTS PASS THEIR EXAMS…. A Zimbabwean pastor has reportedly convinced his congregants his holy pens can make students pass their exams - and the more you pay for one, the better grades you’ll get. Prophet Sham Hungwe of House of Grace International Church in Harare is selling the pens, which cost from $1 up to $20. According to News24Zim, the prophet told his congregation those sitting exams only needed faith and one of the special pens to pass. “They are anointed and I declare passes when your children sit for exams. They are said to work for anyone who is sitting for any test,” he said. According to Nigerian Watch, one parishioner testified: “My son is not very bright and I think this will help him. With the knowledge he has acquired and this pen from the man of God, I think it is going to work.” One student said he scored highly in his A-levels last year after using the pen he was given by the prophet..

TRIGGER THE DOG SHOOTS OWNER IN FREAK ACCIDENT…. What’s in a name? Well when one woman named her pet dog Trigger, she had no idea how apt it would prove to be. Allie Carter, from Avilla in Indiana, US, found herself in hospital suffering a gunshot wound - after after being shot in the foot by her beloved canine. Carter had left the safety catch off on her 12-gauge shotgun when her 11-year-old chocolate Labrador stepped on it. Trigger had managed to step on the - you guessed it - trigger, causing the gun to fire and catching Carter in the left foot. She was treated at a nearby hospital and later discharged, according to Sky News.

THIS WOMAN IS 100% CERTAIN SHE’S A CAT TRAPPED IN A HUMAN’S BODY…. A 20-year-old Norwegian woman claims she is a cat stuck in a human body. Nano, from Oslo, claims she suffers from the bizarre affliction because of a genetic defect, and first realised she was a cat when she was 16. Speaking to NRK P3 Verdens Rikeste Land, Nano said she hates water and exhibits various other cat-like beaviours such as enhanced reflexes. “Sometimes I hiss when meeting dogs on the street,” she said. “It’s only because of their behaviour and my instinct automatically reacts by hissing. “I was born in the wrong species. “It’s also obvious that I’m a cat when I start purring and meowing. And walking around on four legs and stuff like that. “I also love to sleep in the sink and in the windowsill.” Nano says she intends to live the rest of her life (or all nine of them) as a cat, although psychologists say she may grow out of it.

BUDDHIST MONK GOES ON TIRE SLASHING SPREE AFTER KILLING INSECT…. A Buddhist monk has been jailed after slashing £20,000 worth of tyres to vent his frustration for killing a harmless insect. Julian Glew damaged 190 car tyres in his spree after he accidentally stepped on a bug, which contradicts Buddhist teachings of avoiding bringing harm to any living creatures. Glew vandalised 162 cars in the East Yorkshire town of Pocklington in his spree in September 2015. The 45-year-old, who has been living in a tent in the woods for the last two decades, was sentenced to 11 weeks in prison by Beverley Magistrates Court, with the judge saying his actions were “not those of a person who lives for a peaceful co-existence.” Glew pleaded guilty to three counts of criminal damage but later failed to appear for sentencing after going on the run for three months. He was tracked down by police officers and appeared for sentencing via video link from Hull Prison.

Well Gentle Reader I hope you enjoyed our look at the news from around the world this, Tuesday morning… …

Our Tulips today are free in the park…Just like me……

A Sincere Thank You for your company and Thank You for your likes and comments I love them and always try to reply, so please keep them coming, it's always good fun, As is my custom, I will go and get myself another mug of "Colombian" Coffee and wish you a safe Tuesday 26th September 2017 from my home on the southern coast of Spain, where the blue waters of the Alboran Sea washes the coast of Africa and Europe and the smell of the night blooming Jasmine and Honeysuckle fills the air…and a crazy old guy and his dog Bella go out for a walk at 4:00 am…on the streets of Estepona…

All good stuff....But remember it’s a dangerous world we live in

Be safe out there…

Robert McAngus

[robertmcangusgroup]

The Daily Tulip

The Daily Tulip – News From Around The World

Saturday 9th September 2017

Good Morning Gentle Reader….  I looked at the clock and it said midnight, next second I'm looking at the clock with 3.30am on its face, not worth risking sleep when I get up at 4.00am so out of bed and get meet with wet kisses from Bella as I try to tie my shoes... so out into the dark of the early morning we go, me with a wet face and her with a wagging tail ...we spend the next 30 minutes with me at the end of a leash and Bella dragging me to the next spot to sniff.. finally we make it home, the coffee has brewed, Bella's eaten and is now sound asleep on my foot and I've read the news, so would you like to see what I have discovered?

RUSSIAN COUPLE FIND ROAD BUILT THROUGH THEIR HOME…. The owners of a house in Russia have returned home from work in a nearby city to find their house partially bulldozed and a new road running through where it had once stood. Pictures broadcast on REN TV show what's left of the house sitting next to a rain-glistening new highway in the Zavod Voskresensky district. The TV said that the remaining part of the structure is no longer fit for habitation. The owners, who do not live in the house permanently, had returned from seasonal work in Nizhny Novgorod to find the scene of devastation. They say that they had not been warned of the impending construction work, and had not received a rouble of compensation for their loss, RIA Novosti reports. Local authorities initially said that "no-one has demolished the house", but soon rowed back on that statement after one the owners, Valeria Udalova, appeared at their offices carrying ownership documents. Now they're saying that there might have been an error on the survey maps prior to work starting on the road. Demanding 3.6m roubles ($62,000; £48,000) from the local administration in compensation to build a new house, Ms Udalova plans to camp in the middle of the road until the dispute is resolved, the Lenta news site says.

AUSTRALIA CHURCH ABUSE: WHY PRIESTS CAN'T SPILL CONFESSION SECRETS…. Priests who suspect child abuse after hearing confession should report it to the authorities - or face criminal charges. That is one of the conclusions reached by Australia's four-year Royal Commission investigating child sex abuse. The proposal applies to the suspicion of child abuse in an institutional context - for example within an organisation which provides services to children or cares for them, such as a church or a children's home. But the Roman Catholic Church in Australia is opposed to the proposal, despite saying that outside of the confession it is "absolutely committed" to reporting all offences against children to the authorities.

VW RECALLS 1.8 MILLION CARS IN CHINA…. More than 1.8 million Volkswagen cars are being recalled in China because of a faulty fuel pump. China's consumer watchdog said the recall affected vehicles made by VW and its two Chinese joint ventures with SAIC and FAW. The defect can cause the engine to stall due to an electronics failure in the fuel pump. The makers will replace the fuel pump control modules free of charge starting in December. It was not immediately clear whether it was part of a previously announced global recall. The recall applies to Magotans made between 2007 and 2014 and the CC produced domestically by FAW-Volkswagen between 2009 and 2014, as well as the 2011-2015 Passat made by SAIC Volkswagen. About 19,000 imported models are also affected, the General Administration of Quality Supervision, Inspection and Quarantine said. VW apparently became aware of the latest defect after an investigation by Chinese authorities that began in April 2016. Last week, the company told US regulators that it was recalling 281,000 vehicles due to similar problems with the fuel pump.

RED SOX 'CHEATED USING APPLE WATCH'…. The Boston Red Sox used an Apple Watch illicitly to gain the upper hand in a recent game, a Major League Baseball (MLB) investigation has reportedly found. According to the New York Times, the Red Sox used the device to receive messages about what kind of pitch was about to be thrown. That information was then relayed from the dug-out to the batter - giving him an advantage. It is unclear what kind of punishment Boston’s beloved team might receive following the investigation. The team is currently top of the American League Eastern division. MLB did not return the BBC’s request for comment on Tuesday. Nor did the Red Sox or the New York Yankees - the team whose complaint provoked the probe. The Yankees provided video from a three-game series that took place in August.

BEER-CARRYING WORLD RECORD HOLDER SETS NEW MARK BY CARRYING 29 STEINS OF BEER…. They take their beer seriously in Germany — so seriously you can break world records just by carrying it, at least if you can carry more than 29 beer jugs 40 metres and set them down without spilling more than 10 per cent of the beer. That is what Oliver Struempfel has managed to do in Abensberg, beating his own world record. After he managed to break his own record in a first attempt, carrying 27 filled beer tankards, he tried a second attempt with four more — carrying a massive 31 Mass, as the heavy glass jugs which hold a litre of beer are called. But two fell at the last minute, meaning the record stands at 29 jugs — more than 69 kilograms of beer and glass. "I first did 27 because I wanted to be sure and then at the end I said, let's add another one and get over 30," Mr Struempfel said. "Unfortunately it didn't quite work, but having managed to put 29 down, although I actually got to the end with 31, I think it's amazing." Struempfel said he had been training at the gym three to four times a week since February, in preparation for the attempt.

Well Gentle Reader I hope you enjoyed our look at the news from around the world this, Saturday morning… …

Our Tulips today are so colourful........

A Sincere Thank You for your company and Thank You for your likes and comments I love them and always try to reply, so please keep them coming, it's always good fun, As is my custom, I will go and get myself another mug of "Colombian" Coffee and wish you a safe Saturday 9th September 2017 from my home on the southern coast of Spain, where the blue waters of the Alboran Sea washes the coast of Africa and Europe and the smell of the night blooming Jasmine and Honeysuckle fills the air…and a crazy old guy and his dog Bella go out for a walk at 4:00 am…on the streets of Estepona…

All good stuff....But remember it’s a dangerous world we live in

Be safe out there…

Robert McAngus