#as I've mentioned before I'm still not entirely thawed out when it comes to the idea if [blank]formers but i definitely consider it
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I've been toying with a dragonformers au in my head. Not set in a particular canon, bit of a fusion of whatever I want.
So the transformers are dragons, obviously. But I'm torn between having it be about dragon riders, so Dot with Megatron, Raoul with Tracks, etc. Or a conservation area for wild dragons, with the humans basically being park rangers. Or a combo, a retirement area for dragons used for combat.
I'm sorry, I'm just tossing ideas about.
Hmmmm. Now, I'm not quite familiar with dragonformers as I've probably only read one? Fic with it, and even then i didn't quite finish the fic.
Buuuut, here's what I'm thinking here: a mixture, like you've suggested above. Some of them have grown up with humans their entire lives (or most of their lives) and have handlers. Some have had little to no human contact throughout their life up until this point. Some fall somewhere in the middle of this spectrum. I feel like it's exactly a good idea to suggest some are former military, but not all of them. Why do I suggest that last line? Hear me out, but
Dragon rehab.
#as I've mentioned before I'm still not entirely thawed out when it comes to the idea if [blank]formers but i definitely consider it#i myself like to keep them as sapient as possible just like they are in canon but hey that's me#dragonformers#maccadam#transformers#au#the picture i was getting in my head was mostly tfa and g1 but i definitely definitely couldn't stop thinking about the aligned predacons#or the game of thrones universe even though i have literally never watched a single episode or read a single book in it.#all i know about game of throwns is the fire and ice modpack and a youtube spec bio vid and ykw that's all i need#the only clear characters i was getting was hot rod and megatron#with hot rod having been raised with humans his entire life and he's here to drag everyone else into therapy (physical and other)#i was conflicted on Megs being 100% wild or if he's a veteran (tfp version for the first but tfa version for the second)#that's all i have😅#hot rod would look so fucking cool as a dragon#he has phoenix based dragon vibes#oh right ig mtmte is also in the mix in my head but mostly the more lighthearted parts
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💕🩰
I'm sorry but I just know that Price has a breeding kink🥴
mdni 🎀 nsfw below the cut
Price has always, despite his situation, considered himself a family man, and with not only the added financial benefits of being boosted up to the SAS, but also the flexibility of being a captain, there's a yearning for something to come home to. So, when he finally marries someone that makes coming home more anticipatory than leaving in the first place, he can't help but finally feel fulfilled. Almost.
There's something missing though. Something that he can't help but yearn for. He's seen the way his fellow soldiers look at their partners with babies slung on their hips or bellies swollen with pregnancy, and he can't help but feel so selfishly jealous. He knows he shouldn't, knows that he should feel grateful for all of the goodness that she's bought into his life, that he's got the privilege of coming home alive, let alone alive, and to a beautiful woman willing to sink down on her knees for him and worship his cock like he's more god than mere man. Despite this, he wants more, and always finds himself feeling like Icarus inching that much closer to the sun with every good thing he gets.
"I want a baby." He growls into your ear whilst his cock is buried to the hilt inside your slick cunt, fingers interlocked and his baby blues burning vehemently into your own. He's long stilled his thrusts to capture your attention, and by the way your tits bob slightly with the movement of a deep inhale pulled in and held, followed by a little ragged puff of air back into his face, he can tell that you're listening. "You want a baby?" The waver in your voice doesn't go unnoticed by either of you, the almost imperceptible squeeze of your fingers around Johns igniting a spark of hope in his long thawed heart. "I want a baby. With you."
"Now?"
"Now."
"What about your work?"
"I've already sorted it."
John sees the way your brain short circuits at not only his words, but also the encouragingly slow snap of his hips as he thrusts up against your cervix, the hair of his chest brushing against your already sensitive nipples as he keeps at his languorous pace, waiting for you to give him an answer before he stuffs you full of his cum and doesn't let you get up through fear of potentially wasting even a drop of his seed.
"Please, darling. Fuck." He grunts as you pull your bottom lip between your teeth, eyes glossed over as you zone out, imagining a future with you and the man you love, and your children - child, even - maybe a dog for good measure. "You're sure you're ready?" You whisper, feeling the distinct prickling of tears threatening to spill down your cheeks. "S' all I want."
"Okay."
And with that, John's warm hand settles at the back of your neck, fingers curling into the roots of your hair whilst his free arm supports his position over you. Every time the weeping tip of his cock slams up into the plug of your womb and leaves your eyes rolling shut, he yanks gently on your hair, just enough to jerk your head back to look at his almost animal expression, growling about how he wants to look his wife in the eye when he fucks her full of his kids. He's entirely merciless as he spears you open on his cock, hitting the spot that makes your walls flutter desperately around him with every thrust, huffing in your ear when you drag your nails down his back at the mention of how fucking sexy you'll look all soft and swollen with his baby. You both know he won't be stopping at one.
You cum almost shamefully around his cock when he grabs a handful of the plush flesh of your boobs, dropping kisses down the column of your neck until his nose rests against your collarbone, keening out from both the physical and mental overstimulation. John rides you through it, leaving his tip brushing against your cervix as he finishes himself, before rolling you over with his cock still plugged inside, not wasting any of his cum as you lay there panting on his chest whilst his lips press to the top of your head before whispering in your ear:
"So I was thinking green for the nursery?"
ʚ・ ୨୧・ ɞ
quick lil something because I literally have no ideas of what to write oops 🤭
#cod mwii#cod mw2#captain John price#John price#captain price#price#captain price x f!reader#captain price x y/n#captain price x reader#john price x reader#john price x y/n#john price x f!reader#price x reader#price x y/n#price x f!reader#call of duty#cod#cod modern warfare#tf 141#modern warfare#call of duty modern warfare#john price cod#John price smut#john price x you#Price smut#captain price smut
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MAGGIE ROGERS - "DON'T FORGET ME"
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In which we manage to not mention Sally Rooney...
[7.36]
Hannah Jocelyn: Maggie Rogers makes the best Kacey Musgraves song we're covering today. The production is weirdly underwhelming, especially compared to Surrender, but if it all sounds a bit bland, the nuts-and-bolts songwriting here is solid. [7]
Julian Axelrod: I've always appreciated Maggie Rogers, despite never being a diehard fan. But every few years she comes out of nowhere and drops a song that knocks me on my ass. "Don't Forget Me" knocked me on my ass. The last song of hers that had this effect on me, 2021's non-album single "Love You for a Long Time," was an ebullient ode to blind devotion that felt like the first peek over the horizon of a long forever. "Don't Forget Me" comes at long-term partnership from the opposite direction. Our narrator watches her friends' relationships stall out over time with a mixture of bafflement and isolation, yet she can't help but yearn for the relative safety of an unreliable companion. "Take my money, wreck my Sundays" sounds like the vows of the worst couple you know, but it's wrapped up in a sweeping hook that would make for an amazing first dance. [8]
Nortey Dowuona: Maggie Rogers is a storyteller. This is her greatest strength. Telling stories is difficult, especially as lyrics; the easy thing is to tell the half-remembered sketches, the poorly thought-out experiments, the overly detailed ears on pancake faces. But telling a complete story is the mark of a great songwriter -- a great writer in general. Maggie lights up your ears when the sound of "I'm still trying to clean up my side of the street slides past you, glittering with the slight glint of frustration at watching Sally find another anchor in the world, no longer there to watch the raccoons dig in the cans on her lawn. Later, she turns the knife with 'She seems happy, but that's not love to me, a reminder that the frustration is beginning to bubble over -- is it worry for Molly, who might be abandoning herself to chase her guy wherever he goes, or the knowledge that she doesn't have someone she could trust that much? It's concrete in its weight yet feathery in its subtlety. Then she gently casts "and maybe I'm dead wrong, maybe I was bitter from the winter all along." She's willing to let go of being frustrated at Sally and Molly finding happiness and willing to try again, trying to recast it as her own bitterness about her thwarted chances of love, willing to thaw out and step forward into the breach. "Take my money, wreck my Sundays, love me till your next somebody, oh, but promise me that when it's time to leave...don't forget me." [10]
Ian Mathers: There's something so compellingly bleak, intended or not, in "Give me something I can handle/A good lover or someone who's nice to me." Or? I've never smoked, but this makes me want to gaze moodily off into the middle distance with a cigarette in my hand. [6]
Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: With every song she makes, Maggie Rogers is very self-consciously attempting to write herself into great-American-songwriterdom. The funny thing is that it works – the more effortful her efforts toward greatness are, the better she is. I wanted to be cynical about "Don't Forget Me," about the rootsy chug of its guitars and the grand sustains of the piano, but with every listen Rogers' writing endeared me to it a little more. Where her earlier work trafficked almost entirely in the vague inspirational register of first-person heartbreak and growth narratives, here she shines her light more outwards, capturing her own social milieu with care and grace – in passing references to green eyes and weddings – and using those observations to self-examine in a mode that feels more honest than anything she's done before. All that autofictional jazz wouldn't be worth much if she didn't also have a handle on songcraft, but she constructs an exceptionally sturdy folk-pop vehicle that initially struck me as rote before I noticed all of the well-wrought details in each individual part. [9]
Jackie Powell: I saw Maggie Rogers perform “Don’t Forgive Me” live this past summer at Forest Hills. I liked the sound. It was quite Carole Kingian. But it’s not until now that I’ve realized that this is her “Yoü and I,” a deeply personal narrative that could become her most critically acclaimed and beloved song. Rogers, like Lady Gaga, writes about the sacrifices that her chosen life presents her with. She contemplates whether the sacrifices she’s made in not living like her friends Sally and Molly are actually worth it. In verse two when she’s discussing Molly’s life circumstances, there’s a line that could easily have been less insulting: “She seems happy, oh, but that's not love to me.�� Rogers could have replaced that with something like “She seems happy, oh, but that’s not the life for me,” but opted for something a bit more grating. I wonder why she made that choice. Maybe it’s because she wants to draw a contrast between settling and having low expectations. Rogers said herself that “Don’t Forget Me” is about having low expectations, and there’s a yearning in the hook for those low expectations to amount to something that’s worth remembering. That’s all she wants: relationships with people that live on even if they are over, and that aren’t just bygones. [9]
Katherine St. Asaph: Listening to this, I was reminded of Jess Bergman's excellent piece in The Baffler, "I'm Not Feeling Good at All," about the subgenre (that increasingly feels like just the norm) of books about aimless millennial women who drift through half a lonely life like the protagonist of "Don't Forget Me" does: "She has no friends or resents the one she has. Her boyfriend is distant. Perhaps he’s not even her boyfriend anymore, but still, she thinks of him often. She rarely eats. Absent what you might call drive, her life proceeds by rote.... With this literature of relentless detachment, we seem to have arrived at the inverse of what James Wood famously called 'hysterical realism,' describing a strain of fiction overflowing with eccentric characters and detail that, in its exaggerated vitality, depicts life as 'fervid intensity of connectedness.' What these novels constitute instead is a kind of denuded realism. Rather than an excess of intimacy, there is a lack; rather than overly ornamental character sketches, there are half-finished ones. Personality languishes, and desire has been almost completely erased—except, of course, the desire for nothing. ... However individually stylish or inventive, taken together, the novels tend to replicate the sensations of apathy and tedium they seek to describe." I don't dislike this style of writing nearly as much as others seem to, and I don't even dislike it in music necessarily -- Bergman's first paragraph describes the plot of ABBA's unarguably classic "The Day Before You Came" so well I'm kind of amazed it was written about something else. But "Don't Forget Me" sure does replicate tedium, despite being on the surface a more hopeful narrative. Maybe it wouldn't if the arrangement was as un-smooth as Rogers' voice is. [5]
Joshua Lu: The instrumental is gorgeous, the lyricism is poignant, and the singing is so strained it plows through everything like an excavator through a rainforest. Maggie Rogers has a beautiful voice, and she does not have to fight for her life every time she wants to express an emotion. It makes her sound like she's making music the universe does not want her to create. [4]
Isabel Cole: It’s the hitch in her rich, steady voice on “nice”: “a good lover or someone who’s nice to me.” Such a meagre ask, the lowest of low bars — unless, of course, you’ve had cause to learn not to take it for granted. She sings it like it’s a dream so wild she can hardly bring herself to say it out loud, and it kills me every time. [7]
Alfred Soto: Keeping Nilsson's "Don't Forget Me" (and Neko Case's cover) in the rear mirror, Maggie Rogers writes her own summa. No regret but some pain. The piano and bass lock well enough for Rogers to let her voice crack on the strategically placed syllables. A adult song without arthritis. [8]
Aaron Bergstrom: I've always been clear on what I don't want. I thought navigating adulthood would require more active efforts to suppress jealousy, but it turns out that I spend way more emotional energy on listening to people brag about their lives, maintaining a polite smile while thinking "oh my god this all sounds miserable," then walking away feeling equal parts superior and broken. Why don't I want that? Shouldn't I want that? What do I want? On "Don't Forget Me," Maggie Rogers centers her dislocation on idealized romantic relationships, but that feeling seeps into everything. We all know what the "right" answers are, what we're supposed to want. Setting aside those one-size-fits-all dreams is an important first step, but it's not enough. You have to replace them with something. Maggie knows what she wants: someone who will be nice to her, someone who will remember her fondly even if it doesn't last forever, which it probably won't. That's such an honest self-appraisal. Molly and Sally would probably tell her to dream bigger, but these dreams are hers, and for that reason alone they're better. [8]
[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]
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psych 2x16 commentary
Shawn (& Gus) of the Dead
SF, CH, KK, JRr, DH, I wish they had fewer persons for these commentaries, especially when they have similar voices.
I love how they always start with fake names.
SF directed this one!
DH: *Feet up, chewing on a cookie* KK: Just turn his mic off for this episode Henry: Scaring shawn af
I love these long shots, but: John Landis my beloved: STOP PINNING THE CAMERA AROUND
On time AND under budget!?
SF: I was like a kid in a candy store, with all the tools CH: & a pocket full of money!
THIS MUSEUM IS CONNECTED TO THE PLANETARIUM FROM LAST SEASON they are connected in canon now to me.
That poor bear
I'm actually thrilled that their dinosaur is in there. I love the reference back to it. Discovered by Psychic paleo-sleuth Shawn Spencer (in comic sans), & then tiiiny font: photo by bruton gaster or w/e they put as his name this time.
JoH: Do you think he's up? Me: No. I have to wake up that early for work & it sucks; I like waking up somewhat early. Shawn is the kind of guy to sleep in until noon. Then again, if he sleeps in until noon, he totally could be going to bed at 4am, even 6am. SS: No I'm wide awake. Want to watch a movie together over the phone? *60 martin short movies* Love his giant camera lens & the pool slide
CH: & he's got a leather jacket on
the dinosaur behind their heads when shawn sees his plaque (apparently for the first time even tho he literally mentioned it???) is the same one from the red phantom comiccon ep
wait THEY BOUGHT THAT FROM NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM? SS to JoH: You had your shot
The camera crew band doing the theme song in this room is something I wish I could have seen.
SS: *inexplicably starts smelling the curator* *shot gets cut*
Bless you. I am glad that lassiter's "I didn't like you at first but I've come to accept you" speech got cut.
"You know it's going to work out, but you can't seem too callous,"
*not letting Gus see*
SF: Gus has never been to a mummy exhibit because I am afraid of being cursed & Gus got that from my personality. I visited one for this episode & quietly apologize to them.
Spooky child mummy, "Henze get out of there", cheating boyfriends, "It was more Berman sized", this has it all.
I love the ceiling camera facing straight down.
Oh no JRr & DH were both sick, making arrangements to leave, SF jumping up & down at the end of takes...
DH's mom! *shawn running behind her* DH: That's my mom y'all!
The carpet was pretty good "I almost bought that for a second"
Steve franks! "I do not have a pancake butt!"
Gus making fun of Shawn is SO good.
JRr: sick as a dog, running around a museum with a bucket on his head
SF, seeing the set for the first time: Hey wouldn't it be funny if Gus went behind that tarp backdrop? DH: On it
ugh my fricking freezer is broken & now I have meat dripping & pizza thawing & we HAVE so much stuff in the freezer because the oven is also broken so we can't cook ny of the stuff that requires an oven.
JRr DH & AB rewrote this entire scene ten minutes before they needed to shoot it. Darn rain.
Shooting within twelve minutes
In bulk! You ot McNab's number? I like how it's still canon.
KK: Ask apple to give us a laptop for product placement. Studio: they don't know abt this show Apple: LSKDJFKSDHFKJDSHF YES
SS: I need the winsome smile that hides the sad jamaican clown inside.
DH: I'm a PC man, I had to get Microsoft to send me up something.
ML doing her lines killer.
Gus eating Henry's baked goods XD
Ooh ooh idea for the future! Excited!
frantically cleaning
"Do you want me to come with you to prom? Awkward class?" Gus is like his wife.
They had to reshoot this scene bc CB was casting a shadow on JRr SF: It's such a fun relationship to write. Each time one of you reaches out, the other one springs back.
Oh the wheeling backwards is soo good, stay on the TV but watching Lassiter go back like this. His little walk back is so good. I love it. TV, zoom, TV, & now we're in the psych office, thanks film school 101!
I would have loved to see more of Ken. Ran over their feet with his wheelchair.
SF: Hannah the film student was supposed to be all quirky, strange, but when she showed up to set she was ready for the red carpet with long flowing hair & I was like "No, No!"
*german tourists getting drenched in the rain*
NOW they let her hair out & then gus sniffing
That poster is smth SF made as an undergrad
Gus knows so much niche information. He knows frame rates & stuff, & look at his 29.97 frames per second off the top of his head.
SS: 30 times faster BG: 1 800 times faster.
I love the night cycle name tho. *Gus gone*
Ken just there I love him but then the dang eleven point turn. They had to cut so much of the show to leave room for it.
I love stunt drivers. Mountains in midnight & "the great white north" & this was filmed in Yukon!?
"It's zero degrees outside" Me, canadian: That's nothing Them, american: 0f = -18c me: oh DH: *delirious from being sick*
"fairly to pretty damn" & at the end Shawn runs & leaves him hanging. Ooh SF' dad Carlytown XD
"Not my first time alone in a coffin" what kind of a psychfact is this?
That was shot on the stairs from lights camera homicidio
His dad was acting as the consultant on the show this year
She knows. She saw it say Bruton Gaster. She knows Shawn takes private cases.
SF: When Kirsten first read the script I forgot to tell her how it ends, so she actually was very very nervous she was being written off the show.
DH & SF: arguing over KN's name Me: I can't hear the difference
I forgot his mom shows up! His face, his fricking face. & Henry just had a date last episode with that crazy Sue B, the chief's friend.
That was great, thanks for the show!
All the people in the world!
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2, 3, 11, 24, 32 for the ask please? Bellroc and Skrael. 🙏
(obligatory otp asks; thank you for the ask!)
2.) what would they do if the other woke in a manic state after a nightmare?
oof. they've both done this, albeit at very different points of knowing each other. two illustrations off the top of my head: when they first meet—cannot overemphasize, this is like, a year after dying; very much firmly in his "annoying uninvited roommate" phase—skrael is still dealing with *gestures* all of that. luckily, he doesn't sleep often. (bellroc thinks he does. they're wrong. they can be forgiven, they're also extremely depressed at this point.) the first time they see one of these dreams, they don't know what to do. it's the dead of night, deathly quiet, just the two of them around; but the air around him is freezing. frost starts collecting on surfaces, ice flints forming his hands. bellroc knows, immediately, what it must be. they recognize it. so—even though they're still both in the rough, uneasy allies at best, definitely not even friends stage at this point—they steel themself and wake him up, reaching out to shake his shoulder, just lightly. he absolutely nearly shanks them. but at the last moment, he recognizes them; they're so still, so deliberately, absolutely controlled, he realizes—that's not a face from the dream. (he's never seen a person like them. he knows it, even then.) of course they still have a long way to go from this, but this is one of the first real thaws, in those early days. and it's easier to not get shanked once you get a bit better at magic. not to mention: gotten to know him better, too. skrael likewise tends to go the "contact" route, but—by the time i'm imagining this, all i can think of is: waking up in a panic after killahead to steady, solid cold. which feels so different than—no, wait, i'm back—ah. by then they've known each other so carefully, so long; the dreams still come, but he knows much better how to meet that panic. how to catch it—not fight it—but minimize it, keep it managed.
3.) do they wear the other's clothes?
...occasionally. i think they have fairly opposing tastes in clothing ("gender: no, presentation: yes; gender: yes, presentation: no") and they are, after all, rather different shapes. 😂 but yes, i've thought a normal amount about this. bellroc has absolutely worn skrael's cloak (or at least: the cloak he normally wore at the time; before he gets his cloak, the black one), they've absolutely lent theirs to him at times. they must have shared clothes at some time, especially for the majority of human history when textiles were so precious. there's also just something innately curious about "seeing significant other outside their usual getup," which i feel like they'd both get a kick out of. ...anon nO, i want to draw this, now!!
11.) do either try to hide their emotions if upset? can the other still tell?
both of them definitely do this, for various reasons. (pride. denial. wanting to keep the other from hurt.) by now they can both absolutely tell, but i like to think in the early days skrael got very irritated by how bellroc could always see through him. they have a temper, they're impetuous—they're certainly not great at concealing what they feel!—but they're not stupid. they spend their entire mortal life (and a good while afterwards) feeling everything they know about how to show or control emotions is a thing they had to learn, on purpose. not his fault he didn't get such an obvious head start.
24.) who's more likely to give the other a massage?
bellroc. warm hands, on cold, aching joints, at the end of a long day? swoon.
32.) who's the better storyteller?
perhaps surprisingly, given my other general hcs about their comfort and attitude when speaking, but: also bellroc! skrael is good at jokes and riddles (and flyting), and he certainly can tell stories to amuse (or instruct, or console) if the mood takes him; but my bellroc, at least, has composed their own epics. they're That Dramatic, i think they'd be a pretty good storyteller. at least enough to keep your interest. (just—imagine how they'd do the voices...!)
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Subcon Forest Analysis
Hi everyone I'm here to spill my aggressive overflowing thoughts on Subcon Forest and what it represents because it's been driving me insane since I finished the Sleepy Subcon time rift. Okay let's go. Obvious spoilers for AHIT ahead so proceed with caution.
This is also very, very long.
Disclaimer/warning: I will be discussing abusive/unhealthy relationships in this analysis. I mean. Vanessa. Come on. Also, there is a section on the nooses, and that delves, of course, into mentions of suicide. It will be sectioned off and easily skipped, but if you'd rather be safe and skip the entire post, that's completely understandable! Please stay safe. <3
Alright. Main point to be had here:
Subcon Forest is a giant extended metaphor for Snatcher's mind and character.
You all get to now listen to me spout nonsense about metaphors and symbolism because I'm a sucker for analysis and I'm given an opportunity to go ham. So perish.
The Ice
Let's start with the most obvious and most glaring thing in Subcon. The ice. It's everywhere. Not just outside Vanessa's manor, either; no, it's throughout the village, too. Shows up in the well and in random locations sprinkled about. When it comes to literal plot, we know that ice is just what lingers after Vanessa's wintery curse on Subcon. But going deeper and analyzing the meaning behind it?
Well, let's look at this from the perspective I've suggested. Subcon Forest being an extended metaphor for Snatcher's mind and character. A symbol for Vanessa then litters his mind, enough where it's certainly noticeable at first but blends in more easily once more of Subcon is unlocked to Hat Kid. This is clearly meant to be his lingering trauma, whether or not he wants to acknowledge it. Which he doesn't, as he never mentions it directly in his forest (that I can recall). Her influence plagues him, as to be expected with the traumatic experiences he went through with her. Breaking the ice is something Hat Kid must do in order to fulfill the wishes of the Fire Spirits (another subject I'll get into shortly), which, if self-indulgently playing with the found family idea, could mean that Hat Kid is helping him heal; if indirectly. Even if fulfilling the Fire Spirits' wish to die is... counterproductive, in that measure, which I'm now getting ahead of myself so hold on a sec!!
Vanessa. Ice. Everywhere. Traces of it all over his forest. That's the effects of an abusive relationship! Especially in a worst-case scenario where... yknow! One party in the relationship dies! So of course ice would be everywhere.
In and of itself, ice is a common symbol in literature and other forms of media. In this case, it's presented as an antagonistic force; emphasis is placed upon freezing and the harm that comes with it. The cold is unwelcoming, threatening, merciless. Snow can act as an insulating force, at least, but ice cannot. It can only make things colder.
A slight stretch: Seeing as this game deals a lot with time shenaniganry, I'm not sure if it'd be too out of left field to connect "freezing" with the theme of time. Yknow. Frozen in time. Both parties here, Snatcher and Vanessa, would be in this frozen state. One largely repressing it and never fully moving on, and the other doomed to her isolation ever since the event in question. They never moved past that moment after the Prince and florist's interaction.
The Fire Spirits (& the Portraits)
I'll put a slight warning here for suicidal ideation, if only because... it's the Fire Spirits we're talking about. It's not as grossly in-detail as the noose discussion will be, though, so make of that what you will.
To me, the Fire Spirits are a very interesting case. After all, they're fire. They're a direct contrast to the ice, thus being the only thing we're shown that could potentially melt it. The Fire Spirits, in my opinion, represent hope or a strength to continue. A strength to move on after troubles of the past.
...And that hope wants to die.
The Fire Spirits wish to burn out, to leave this mortal coil and abandon the forest to the cold. They make no effort to melt the ice, they simply dance, blissfully ignorant towards their surroundings. This being a metaphor for Snatcher's own hope for moving on is made all the more obvious by the fact he wants them gone. The first contract is to kill the Fire Spirits, to kill the hope. Perhaps he believes that sort of thing to be fruitless or naïve, so it only clutters his mind or has him foolishly optimistic at points. So, get rid of it. And the hope is happy to oblige.
(That, or their willingness to leave the forest to its own suffering and not aid in the ice's thaw angers him. Besides the whole "bark bark growl I can't get to parts of my forest because of them!!" which... also could represent a naïve hope clouding his judgement, not allowing him to see a bigger picture. But hope can't all be lost if one wants to move forward...)
A little side-tangent now on the portraits! And it's another slight stretch but the idea is in my head and I can't let it go. Portraits are another common symbol, usually being a physical representation of a memory or idea. For our purposes, let's say they're memories. I know in canon they appear to just hold souls captive or something but for now we're just Ignoring That(tm). The Fire Spirits have to burn the portraits to disappear. See where I'm going with this, maybe?
Instead of handling bad memories (or perhaps memories of the past in general) in any healthy manner, Snatcher chooses to forget/repress them, which just allows his hope to progressively die out.
I'm really hoping this is making sense because it makes a lot of sense to me but I might be insane rn
The Fact that this is a Forest
Forest symbolism breakdown! What's a forest usually mean in literature? "Traditionally, the forest has come to represent being lost, exploration and potential danger as well as mystery and 'other worldliness'." Okay. Yeah. Fair enough. That certainly works with the whole aesthetic we've got going on. Wood usually is life, growth and strength. But the trees of subcon are all dead. So what about that? It stands for death, big whoop, very spooky, we know Snatcher's dead and so are the children, yadda yadda wowie wowie. But. :) The trees in Subcon look a lot like trees that were scorched in a forest fire. Don't believe me?
(You could also argue they're just regular marsh/swamp trees bUT SSHHSUUHSH HANG ON HEAR ME OUT LOOK LOOK,)
What I believe to have happened was a controlled fire to rid the forest of the majority of its ice and snow. Likely done by Snatcher. It leaves behind a very desolate, depressing, barren scene... but. What else do dead/burnt trees symbolize? Rebirth. After all, controlled fires happen to make way for new trees to take the place of old ones. Some trees only drop seeds in fires/hot temperatures, so new ones take root and begin anew. Weird. It's almost like... I dunno. Snatcher was given some sorta second chance, given he's not just a corpse in Vanessa's cellar. So were the subconites. Another life given then by Snatcher. All connected I tell ya!!
Generally, aside from that, forests have many connotations. Mystery, isolation, claustrophobia; a place to dwell on regrets, or the past; to worry over one's future; to seek escape from or escape inside of... hmgmrnmm!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- T / W -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The Nooses
The t/w is given at the top and another cut-off point will follow the bottom of this, for those that would like to skip. This will delve into talk of suicide and abusive tactics used by abusers. Please don't read if it will upset you or make you feel unsafe!!!
Personally, I cannot stand the nooses, but that's just due to my own triggers. Were there a way to hide those from the game or replace the damned talking ones with anything else. I would take it. In a heartbeat. But I can still appreciate the potential analysis to be had with them. So now i'm gonna talk about it despite how uncomfortable it will make me to do so. yEa
So, what about 'em? There are three types of nooses seen in Subcon. At least that I remember but I didn't really go looking for them. Empty ones, ones containing empty subconites, and the talking ones.
Nooses in general obviously can hint towards suicidal thoughts or behaviors of the characters that interact with them. If saying Subcon is Snatcher's mind, it could suggest that he suffered from some sort of suicidal thoughts in life (or currently, if second death is possible... or if he never truly died... or maybe he's trying to figure that out...which has given me... a separate idea...uh oh). But. And hear me out. Different perspective.
A talking noose. I hate them with a fiery passion that is unmatched. But think of the packed symbolism of a noose that talks. And think more about what it says. "I wouldn't mind being strapped around a cute neck like yours." "Be careful now, I don't want to see you meet a miserable end anywhere, but with me." Oddly, a lot of what the noose says seems almost... endearing? One could argue it's a way of luring someone to put it around their necks, which in and of itself is a whole lot to unpack when it comes to suicidal thoughts beckoning one forward; painting itself as something romantic, almost. But. Here's a wild idea, now. What if the nooses, at least the talking ones, are another symbol for Vanessa?
They're tinted blue, after all. While Vanessa's scheme is more red, one could argue two things: One, ice. Blue. Ice. yeah. Or two, the fact that Snatcher's scheme is more purple. Blue and red... make... purple. So, for all we know, Snatcher's current state was a compound effort between suicidal thoughts and Vanessa's treatment of him. Perhaps he even found a way to put himself out of his misery before freezing/starving to death. (I know he has dialogue that argues against that, but... are we certain Snatcher would be the kind to admit suicide over freezing to death?... I don't think so.)
At any rate, a common threat by those in "control" of an abusive relationship is that of killing themselves should the other person not do as they desire. It's a cruel form of emotional manipulation to get their way, worse off if the other party is an empathetic individual. As a person who has been the empathetic individual in relationships like this... I would know. I've been here, unfortunately So, it's not completely out of the question to say Vanessa could've used some tactic like that, even before the whole... cellar ordeal. Did she? I dunno. I'm tossing ideas around. But if she did, the threats of such would sit around in the Prince's mind easily. Even if she has a reputation of not going through with it. It doesn't matter. That shit sticks with you forever, that scare, the potential of it ever being true, is horrifying and it ruins you. I'm projecting, Squirtle.
Still. A noose cannot hang itself. It has to have a victim.
...yea.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- T / W PASSED -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Misc. Ideas
- The spiders: Aside from the usual things spiders can be chalked up to symbolizing - toxicity, alluring danger, just... general pain - I like the potential wordplay that can happen here. Yknow. A black widow. Say the Prince and Vanessa were married when one died. What would that leave Vanessa? A widow. ...She's red and black, too. Yknow. Like a black widow. HA wordplay is fun isn't it?
- Snatcher's tree: Love this place, love sitting in here. But not the point! The inside of Snatcher's tree is such a harsh juxtaposition to the rest of Subcon that it kinda throws ya off guard. After all, the dark, purples and blues then contrasted with the bright warm colors of the inside. Even the music switches over. The thorns outside aren't present indoors. Ohh yeah this is gonna be on the nose as hell but the Tree(tm) is 100% representing Snatcher's appearance/put-on personality vs. his truer nature. Spooky outside with thorns, foreboding, unwelcoming. Then the more comfortable interior. VULnerable. Have I even mentioned that the tree is HOLLOW I mean COME ON. The sturdiness of that tree? Nonexistent. He's not a sturdy guy at all no matter how he fronts
- Intrusions are unwelcome: Snatcher does not like the fact that Hat Kid sticks around in his forest. His personal space. His mind. In fact he tries desperately to get rid of her after their fight, not wanting her presence in his forest at all. He has no problem providing more contracts later on with the Death Wish thing, and he finds great entertainment in messing around with Hat Kid, so it's not just a weird sudden hatred he has for her; it's the fact that. After she's finished being useful, he no longer wants her around, lest she find some things she shouldn't find. Now he's just uncomfortable with her in his personal boundaries. Could just be a denial that she's helped him heal (breaking ice, stealing from Vanessa, being something interesting for his kids to interact with) or just not really wanting a child to get wrapped up in. All that. Most likely the former. Considering the amount of joke-hints he drops regarding his background during his Death Wish dialogue. I see you funny man, making jokes out of your trauma as a coping mechanism. Punts him
Annnd I think that's all I got, for now! I'll make an update post if I get any more sporadic ideas. If you read this whole thing, thank you!! and also!! Wow that was a lot!! Hell world. Please feel free to elaborate on any of my points or debate with me on em!! I'm always open to other ideas, just be aware that if I disagree I am not shy when it comes to debate hehehe, tho I won't be aggressive to any extent I prommy!!
Alrighty. goes to sleep goodnight
#clamtalk#VERY long ramble#a hat in time#snatcher#ahit snatcher#subcon forest#vanessa ahit#ahit#analysis#the prince ahit#goes crazy. goes insane#ask to tag#i'm frazzled I can't add more tags I'll do so later
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Okay, as requested a few days ago, a Cloud and Aerith analysis. I feel like I've spent a lot of time in chapter 8/9 today lol
Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be reasonably long.
Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.
You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.
Other analyses if anyone’s interested.
Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis)
Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog)
Tifa character analysis
Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory – I should probably update this since I’ve had other ideas since then)
Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti)
Clotiscrew tunnel analysis
Cloti reunion analysis
The Promise Analysis
Andrea’s approval (Cloti ask response)
Leslie analysis (not mine, but a good read)
Cloti action touching
Aerti friendship analysis
Cloti body language chapter 3
Cloti healthy disagreement
Cloti post heliboss battle (chapter 15)
Clerith playground scene
Cloti body language plate fall
Cloud and Barret friendship
Resolution scene analysis (A)
Barret character analysis (chapter 13)
Cloud character analysis (Honey Bee Inn)
Cloud character analysis (Barret's death)
Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.
Recap time!
Okay, our delightful heroine (I will rein in the sarcasm, but Aerith aggs me when Cloud says no and she ignores him. No means no.) and our moody af hero have finally got done with the flowery side quests, kiddos, Rude and the giant hands of crash crash boom oops there's an invisible wall there minigame trip through sector 6 to reach sector 7.
Aerith says “let's take a break.”
Cloud says, “No.”
They take a break anyway.
(I've already done the slide analysis, link above)
Back down from the slide and it's time to go. Aerith opens up the underground link into sector 7 and we're venturing into awkward goodbyes.
So, we're starting with Aerith being chipper and cute with the quips. Standard stuff. It's possible she's feeling regretful they're parting, but I've said plenty of times that of everyone in this, Aerith has the best poker face. There's very few times she lets that mask slip and lets us see what she's really feeling and it's usually in times of intense stress. This isn't stressful, although she was feeling down a few moments ago while talking about Zack, so maybe that'll make her a little easier to read. For now, though, she's fronting like a boss.
Hmm interesting. He's definitely thoughtful here. So, I'm gonna have to put together some possibilities.
He's clearly mellowed his attitude towards her – he was proper stroppy at her house the day before, shouting and so on – so this isn't negative. We could say he started feeling more positive towards her through their interactions over the day or maybe when he saw the whole Rude bit and realised she's not quite what he first thought. Or it might have been when he saw her looking downcast about not high fiving or it could've been their chat on the slide that finally thawed him out towards her.
And Aerith's the same. Her smile falters just a bit and she can't meet his eye. Maybe she knows they have no reason to meet again or that her mother told him not to see her. We don't know for sure, but it's possible, otherwise why is she disappointed? She could expect to see him again. They could make plans. It could be meta!Aerith knowing that Cloud is probably better off not getting to know her.
Eugh dammit. Does anyone know how hard it is to analyse people's motives when you can't see their faces clearly? I bet this was on purpose, thanks Square.
I mean, having to go by the above data I've mentioned, they could both be feeling the same lingering regret intuitively. You know like how you just get the sense how someone's feeling? That.
Their poses are identical, and coupled with the slightly awkward intonation on “so” I'd look at this and say this comes across like a couple of teenagers who kinda like each other and don't know how to take the next step. You know, that kind of immature I have no idea what I'm doing with my life kinda deal. That's not to say it's romantic, especially not from Cloud. He's an awkward introvert. Aerith has no social skills. They're not friends and up until five minutes ago Cloud was annoyed af at her. That'd make for an awkward goodbye.
Aerith laughs, Cloud doesn't, and she moves aside so he can leave. Looks like the moment’s over.
Before going, Cloud turns back to ask if Aerith can get home ok. This looks like polite concern, which I'd expect considering they just came through an area full of monsters, mech and bandits. If Cloud wasn't concerned, I'd call him a douchebag. His eyes widen a little as he speaks, but it's not that same kind of expression he pulls whenever we're suspecting a visit from real!Cloud. This is SOLDIER!Cloud asking.
(I've said that typically Cloud's eyes go very wide as a hint that his real self is reacting to things, but widening eyes on their own do not indicate real!Cloud. It's something about the way he does it that shows it's not quite right for the SOLDIER persona we usually see. I can't explain it properly, but it's likely something the devs have done to his microexpressions on purpose to differentiate between the two and without knowing exactly what I can't put a pin in it. All I can say is when it looks like real!Cloud is expressing himself and when it isn't because there’s a difference that I’ve picked up on.)
This is flirting. Plain and simple. Head tilted, little smile, crinkling eyes. She's amused and teasing him in a flirtatious manner and her dialogue backs that up, although at the same time the tone she puts it in also sounds quite matter of fact, like she's genuinely asking what if she wasn't ok? That likely does appeal to the protective SOLDIER side of Cloud. He wants to be known as the hero. Still not romantic.
That's what I like to call a shit-fuck-bollocks moment. The realisation he should take her back home and make sure she's safe, but then he's also got to get back to sector 7, and this is all SOLDIER!Cloud's debate. There's no sign of real!Cloud and there's a quick decisive result that he should do the right thing, which is why he says he’ll take her home.
This is nothing like in the honey bee inn later when you see the clear back and forth of his eyes darting around as he argues with real!Cloud about dancing to get Andrea's approval.
And Aerith laughs again because I think she's aware how ridiculous it is that he'll walk her back when he needs to get home. She was teasing the entire time, but it looks like it went over Cloud's head – colour me unsurprised.
I mean, there's no romantic undertone to her expression here. It's genuine amusement and I'd definitely say friendship towards Cloud.
Ah the image that certain people hang their hat on. Let's get this one done.
Aerith says she has a backup route for emergencies that's safer than the one they used. You can hear Cloud start to speak—- ask a question because the sound is a “W” -- then cuts himself off and smiles. That smile is a mix of bemused and amused.
For anyone who doesn't have a stupidly large vocabulary and thinks those two are the same thing:
Bemused
adjective: puzzled, confused, or bewildered.
Amused
adjective: finding something funny or entertaining.
Cloud's bemused because back at the start of the collapsed expressway he literally asked if there was a better way and she avoided answering. So, he's caught her in a lie and what can he do about it? Nothing. That's why he's all "of course there's a safer route".
And then we're back in control and moving onto the next part of the game.
Conclusion:
Well, they're awkward. Both of them. Cloud is an introvert with mental issues and Aerith has no social skills and a terrible personality flaw in which she bosses everyone around and doesn't listen.
I wouldn't say they're friends, more like comrades. Cloud's still very resistant to her company even after she helps him save Tifa.
#final fantasy 7 remake spoilers#final fantasy 7 remake analysis#Cloud Strife#Aerith Gainsborough#Character analysis
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Part 1, part 2
Tw: violence
The old Order headquarters being in Time Cottage, Tinworth, is from 'Pride of Time' by AnubisAnkh, one of the best HP fanfics I've read this year (and I probably took so long to notice it because it has a ship I don't usually ship, but then again the same can be said for this fanfic here...); Tinworth itself is a HP canon magical settlement I think
Back in Europe, I get ready to make new experiments while I also wait for all of Tom Riddle's horcruxes to be killed by the Order (I can't bear to call him the Dark Lord in my head, and I am afraid to think of him as Voldemort, afraid of what it would do should I accidentally say it out loud one day).
In September of 1981, my research and soul-magic training is coming to a close, and I believe that I will have more time than I could possibly need with how slow the hunt for further Horcruxes is going, so when Bellatrix asks me to attend the annual Malfoy Yule Ball with her- "And not just to show our faces for half a minute, either, I want to /dance/!"- I readily accept. She smiles brightly- my positive influence seems to work, she thawed immensely from when I arrived back in England to now- and we kiss. It has been a long time that we have kissed in private, just kissed.
It is on this very Yule ball that my careful plans of only moving on to fixing the souls of his followers when Riddle is most vulnerable are wrecked and my hand is forced: my positive influence on Bella really is already working and more so than expected. I only get a moment of warning when her aura shifts- her soul wants to reconnect- and she goes down with a pained cry I stifle with a muffliato.
It had to happen at Malfoy Manor, the one place it shouldn't, always filled by Deatheaters and high society that even frequented by Voldemort... I am lucky to get Bella into a private room- Lucius' study- with minimal attention, only Narcissa noticed and actually helps, afraid for her sister, understanding that something is wrong.
Inside, Bella collapses, I don't even manage to get her into the armchair, she just falls to the floor, clinging to me desperately, afraid for her life. My ears are ringing with fear- this isn't how it was supposed to go, I'm not prepared, I don't know how to help her- Bellatrix whispers something, and for a moment I think I didn't understand her right. "Love you." she coughs out. "Didn't say it before, but-" "You're not going to die." I hiss. "Bella, you're not going to die, and we are going to fucking /talk/ when this is all over." she laughs even when her eyes roll back in her head in pain. "You don't have to say it back if you don't-" I take the chain with the promise ring on my neck and press it to her skin. "That's not what I'm saying at all. You-"
"What are you doing?!" Narcissa must have seen me pressing the metal to her sister's neck and come to the wrong conclusion. She's pointing her wand at me, but I don't even bother to disarm her, instead dangling the chain with the ring in her face. "Nothing but reminding her to live!"
With a shaky breath, Narcissa lowers her wand. I hadn't expected her to trust me so quickly, but maybe she's just that rattled. "Then what?? What happened? Has she been poisoned? Do I need to get Severus? Do I-" "No." I say. "We need to-"
Before I can finish the sentence, Lucius enters, and I stupefy him without waiting for him to talk. I like Narcissa well enough, but I can't stand her husband, and I won't be taking any chances now. Open-mouthed, Narcissa quickly closes the door, pushing Lucius' foot out of the way- I'm glad, thinking that she doesn't much seem to care for him- when she bends down, checking for his pulse, making sure he is alright with a kind of urgency... I squint- and notice a dark connection between them literally binding her to him. Not soul-magic, but she probably can't kill or actively oppose him without being in terrible pain. A kind of vow? A problem for later.
"Narcissa?" I speak up. "/You/ need to do a round of the party now so as not to draw suspicion. Lucius will be unharmed when you return." still unconscious, though, hopefully, I think while I tie the man up for good measure. Narcissa nods shakily, gets her appearance in order and disappears.
Once I am alone with her, I set to work getting Bella's soul reconnected to itself. Like in delirium, I weave healing spells over healing spells while whispering sweet nothings in her ear, hoping she will hear it, hoping she will be herself again when it is all over... Bella screams, and I put up a new muffliato, cursing myself for not thinking about it earlier and hoping that no-one has heard or thought anything of it. Lucius wakes and I stun him again before he can say anything. Then I focus on Bellatrix, lighting up the essence of a soul with a spell Melodenia taught me so I can see what is going on- and I gasp. It's like her soul is stretched thinly between herself and the horcrux, wherever it is. Without the preparative spells, her soul is yanking at it in uncontrolled bursts, getting more of her soul back but also stretching the connecting piece way too thinly... Biting the inside of my cheek, I focus on her soul and dive into the world of soul magic.
There is so much pain. I wonder how Bella hasn't given up on life yet if this is what she is feeling right now. Distantly, I feel tears in my eyes while I let my magic move further along her soul strand, towards the Horcrux, a burning piece of dark magic- I really hope the Dark Lord isn't keeping this anywhere near him, there is no way he won't feel what I am about to do otherwise. And there is no way I will delay this to find out.
With a black-hot shock wave, the Horcrux explodes from the inside out.
Screaming, I fall back, my magic lashing out as I try to get rid of that tainted spell it touched. Now, I’m glad I only did this for her and didn’t try to cut all deatheaters lose at once, even better prepared that would have been a nightmare. I don’t blame Melodenia for not telling me that, though- there’s no way she could have known, she never tried to split her soul in two before, after all.
Drawing in ragged breaths, I sit up, my hand fluttering over Bella’s still form at its own volition. Why isn’t she waking? Her body is unharmed, and her soul is there, I can feel it- oh. Now that I am really looking, I notice that there are still streaks of magic, of curses in someone else’s magical signature surrounding her. I hadn’t noticed it before due to the nature of the Horcrux connection, but now it is obvious: her Dark Mark, connected directly to the Dark Lord. Either Riddle noticed, or there is a failsave, because now that the Horcrux is gone, something is happening- and I can’t stop it. I /could/, but with how weak I am now, the curse would just burn through me should I lift it. While I truly love Bellatrix, I am not ready to die in her stead. I have to think quickly-
In that moment, Narcissa returns, and I am reminded of the connection she has to that evil husband of hers, who is still in the room... “Please tell me you do not actually care for Lucius Malfoy.” Narcissa opens her mouth to speak, but chokes on her own words. I nod. As I thought. With quick, slashing spells I end the Vow or whatever it was that kept her bound to him. She collapses as if her strings are cut, but I don’t take the time to make sure she is alright- instead turning to Lucius: “Imperio.”
Through Lucius’ eyes, the magic looks different, as if he can’t quite tell what is good and what is bad. Maybe good and bad are just defined entirely differently to him. With my theoretical knowledge, I still find the curse again- and when I force Lucius to ignore the pain, the burning, I keep looking and find more than just that. An entire network of curses, leading from Deatheater to Deatheater to Voldemort. Not all of them are connected, at least not equally so, there seems to be a second network only slightly touching the first, but still- I can take down many Death Eaters in one go with this. I just have to make sure I don’t kill Bellatrix in the process.
The connection of the Marks is a literal maze. Getting Bella free is still my priority, and as soon as I identify hers, I start to first push back the magic that is seeping into her, and, when I hear her gasp as she comes awake, one by one destroy the connections she has to the others.
Bellatrix is free. I only take a moment to blink from my Imperius-Lucius-view to make sure she is alright- Narcissa is with her, of course, the other woman had never taken the Mark so she should be fine now- before diving back into the Maze of Dark Marks, getting right in the middle of it and destroying the curse from the inside out. Lucius screams despite the Imperius curse when the Dark Lord’s magic is burning his hands before his own Dark Mark explodes, taking his entire arm with him- he doesn’t have to live that way for long as the magic seeping through the maze tears him apart. Throwing up a shield, I banish his body and all magic it carries to go Merlin-knows-where.
The Dark Marks are gone. the Horcruxes remain. Can I get them the same way I got the Marks?
Leaning down briefly to kiss Bella’s forehead and stroke her cheek, I stumble to the door, opening it a fraction to look out. The party is in disarray, many have felt the change in the Mark. I see Nott and Avery stumbling against each other a few metres away- easy targets, them. I imperio Avery first, and then I have /him/ imperio Nott- now Nott is the only one who can still use his magic for anything but holding up the imperius curse. Didn’t I already mention that this curse is stupid? But in this case, it would help me. letting Avery and Nott walk into the middle of the room, I then let Nott walk further, waiting for- ah! Sabina, a woman I am quite certain is an illegitimate half-blood instead of the pure blood she claims, and definitely affected by a Horcrux. Nott- or rather his body, lead by Avery’s curse and my command- walks into her, touches her arm as if to steady her- and then his magic is reaching into her soul. Feeling along the link towards the Horcruxes. Yes, there are more soul-pieces closeby, I can reach them- I don’t know whether this means that the Horcruxes are physically close together or just that they have been forged by the same hand, souls work in funny ways sometimes, after all. I don’t much care either way, just commanding Avery to command Nott to destroy them all- and then break the connection of the imperius while Avery passes on the command.
If the way Sabina stumbles while Nott screams and burns and Avery falls to his knees is any indication, it must have worked.
I hurry back into the study, to Narcissa and Bellatrix. "Are you alright??" I ask, kneeling down next to Bella "Yes." she coughs out, but I can see the fear and confusion in her eyes. "Are you?" she adds. I just nod, pressing my forehead to hers, just breathing for a while. "What in the stars names /was/ that?" Narcissa's shout breaks our moment of peace. Huh. I didn't realise she could screech like that. And I don't think she knows /any/ real curse words. With a sigh, I get up, pulling Bellatrix to her feet, too.
"Your soul fixed itself" I tell Bella. "It- I had noticed a while ago that something was wrong with it, and suspected the Dark Lord might be behind it. I was still doing research, I nearly had it- and then today, it just started to fix itself, well, I helped it along a bit when I noticed that it had started. What I saw confirmed that it was Riddle by the way- the Dark Lord, I mean. I also broke the hold he had over you through the Dark Mark, oh, and Lucius' hold on Narcissa. Well, pretty sure he's dead now anyway." I sum up what had happened. Both stare at me, completely baffled. Feeling uneasy, I shift from one leg to the other. "So. Are you two ready to break with Voldemort and all his beliefs?"
Bellatrix is startled into a laugh. "I think we already did that quite thoroughly..." she snorts out.
Narcissa looks at her as if she has gone insane- then pales. "Draco! I have to- if someone notices-" Oh. I had completely forgotten about the kid. Not my proudest moment. "Uh, you hadn't left him with someone who's Marked, have you?" Now, both look at me like I'm insane. "You think anyone that high up would bother to play nursemaid??" Bellatrix asks. "Not even I would bother- no offense, sister." "None taken." Narcissa says curtly. "Now, I am going to get my son, and then- and then-" "I know where we can go" I say, feeling slightly sorry to force her out of her own home, but we really better move now- although really I should feel more sorry for the Order for having to put up with the three of us now. "If you are ready to leave not just the Dark Lord but blood supremacy in general behind, too, that is." Bella just shrugs. "'s long as you're there..." we smile at each other, and then I have to look away as I remember that I can't really promise that, that I have no idea how long I still have in this world. Shaking myself from these depressing thoughts, I swipe Tom Riddle's diary from Lucius' cabinet before leaving the room.
Narcissa goes to collect Draco from his nurse in the private chambers, and Bella and I disillusion each other, then lean against the corridor wall, hexing whoever comes past and doesn't look too friendly. Deatheaters, general scumbags, oh, Fenrir Greybag, that one I stun and disillusion, too. Might be a good present for the order, or something, showing that I don't want them to just pardon all former bad guys. It doesn't get to that, however, when one of the Carrows- Amycus? I honestly can't tell under the robes and the blood- realises where our jinxes are coming from and tries to fight back, sending a killing curse- well, moving Greyback in the way of that was self defense, really. And it's not like anyone's going to spill any tears over it. Carrow moves in for another blow- and is taken down from behind.
"Fuck, I've always wanted to do that."
A young man stands behind him, wand dangling from his hand, dark hair in disarray and a bloody nose. For a moment, he looks exactly like Sirius Black, but then I recall: this is Regulus! I didn't even know that he was still alive... His name had been on a lost of people I had planned to save, back in the very beginning when I arrived in this world. But then I didn't know when exactly it would happen to save him myself, and I had no information to prove his innocence or reform to the Order... Of course, the Order had found the locket earlier than him because of me. Did he go there, see it was gone and disappear again instead of drinking the poison? Or did he never try to leave the Deatheaters at all? The way he had just taken down one of Voldemorts' henchmen just because, in the current chaos, he had been able to, made me believe otherwise.
Disillusioning myself (and throwing up a shield at the same time, I'm not stupid), I stepped forward. "Regulus Black, is it not?" "Who wants to- oh, you're Bella's girl, aren't you?" my eye twitched at being called anyone's girl, but I ignored it for now. "Are you done being a pawn for the Dark Lord?" He blinked. Then actually laughed. "You know- yes. Why, are you leaving your wife behind? Wait, are you the reason for all this chaos?" "We are." Bella stepped forward too, and in the same moment, Narcissa came hurrying up behind us, baby Draco in her arms. Regulus stared at us for a moment, then started to laugh again. I see how he's related to Sirius. "You know- yes, whatever this is, I'm in."
I look at Narcissa. "Have you ever been to Tinworth?" If I apparate the four of us all the way there, I wouldn't have the power left to defend Bellatrix should it come to a conflict. Thankfully, everyone knows the village, Narcissa disapparating with Draco first, then Regulus, than me with Bellatrix although she insists that she is fine. We apparate to the east of the town, regroup and I apparate us to the closed off partage in front of the cottage that I had insisted on- it is not under the fidelius, so one can take others there, but it's protected by enough spells that new members can be read into the Secret without the possibility of anyone seeing and attacking. My past paranoia and overthinking comes in handy now. Letting the others stand behind me after telling them to watch each others backs and call for me should anyone show up, I move to open the door, knowing that I will disappear from their view as soon as I'm in the doorstep. I don't want to leave Bella alone, but this is the easiest way to prove that I am myself and not someone under polyjuice who doesn't know the Secret.
"Hello?" I call out. "Anybody home?"
Part 4
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DP Plot - Storyline help
So I was writing a fanfic where full Danny and Pariah fuse (like Dan) and I had two options one this prompt which I will post right here or Insane!Danny straight up V*res Pariah's core (for a valid reason I swear) because he is insane. I did this because I want the reader's to know Danny is fucking crazy and is basically the Bill Cipher of the DP universe. So lemme know watchu think PLEASE!
The leader of the frost giants sighed in contemplation as he listened to the older halfa words.
"You're insane Vlad. Waking the Great One up in such a manner is sure to taint him and giving your record for these things I'd rather not risk it."
"And for how long do you intend to keep him asleep? Surely you must have realized that he WILL die if he doesn't come out of this soon, Frostbite." Vlad argued.
"His core may be fractured but it still functions as long as it remains here! He will be fine. Nocturne has agreed to keep him in a stable condition."Frostbite growled signaling to the jar containing a blue crystal orb. Although retaining its round shape it was in shards as if in need of an adhesive to keep it together. The current adhesive was a small purple misty band.
"Its. Been. Thirteen. YEARS!" Vlad growled back. "He hasn't aged a day but his peers are already courting. At this rate, they may as well die before he has the chance to crack an eye open. What do you think that'll do to him?"
"What do YOU think fusing his core with that BEAST's will do to him?" Frostbite stalked over to Plasmius and grabbed his shirt. Bringing his face close. "Our cores are our very souls, Plasmius and for him its that and his heart. As his godfather, I understand that you want him to live but if we do this how sure are you that he will even survive? How sure are you that he would remember who he is? That he wouldn't become a beast just like him?" The silence was tense and neither said a word. "The updates from Nocturne show that the Great One is stable but even HE won't be able to fix this if you mess up.'
"I know him. He can overcome it. He defeated Pariah once so I'm sure he can do it again." Frostbite saw the certainty in his red eyes and released the older halfa.
"Very well." He sighed defeated. " I'm sure you've seen Lord Clockwork about this matter before you came to see me." The Frost Giant took his silence as a yes. "I see, so I would not be mistaken to assume you have brought the materials needed for the transfusion?"
"You know me too well," Plamius said with a smirk. While the ring of rage and the crown are in your possession correct" Frostbite nodded. "I've gotten the old tyrants core right here." He said as he pulled out three thermoses from his bag.
They were not like the others that Frostbite had ever seen the Great one use. Instead of silver and green, these were purple and red. They had a see-through chamber in between their torsos. The one to the left contained a core, not unlike a sea urchin. It was somewhat round but was covered in deadly looking spikes dripping with a tar-like liquid the Frost Giant hadn't seen before while the one to the right was filled with ectoplasm. The middle one remained empty. They were placed on a console on some sort and tubes were plugged to their side both leading to the middle empty thermos.
After the setup Plasmius reverted back to Masters causing Frostbite to lift a furry eyebrow at his clothes. He was wearing a deep red hazmat suit. Vladimir turned to face him covering his face and greying hair with hazmat face protection.
"Just to be safe. I don't want my signature to interfere with this and this will keep it from doing just that. After we bring him in here I need you and everyone in the vicinity to be cleared out of at least this cave. Can you get that done?" Vlad said fixing his grey gloves.
"I believe so but I must warn you if I remove him you must work fast. Without his core, if his body thaws he'll die." 'And I'll kill you.' Was a threat that Masters understood. "Nocturne has also been informed so the Great One is also being prepared subconsciously to be awakened."
"Don't worry about that." He held his hand out to the Frost Giant who reluctantly gave Vlad their Saviour's fractured Core. " Bring Daniel and place him on the table. Like you said we need to work fast." Frostbite left immediately.
The old Halfa looked at the core and sighed. 'I can't believe he agreed to this.'
"Are you ready for this Daniel?" He asked the blue broken shards that only slightly resembled the orb they once were. 'Please work.'
He gently placed the core shards in the vacant thermos causing to shine bright blue as it floated in its container.
"Skulker. The gauntlets."
The hunter deactivated his invisibility and handed him the glove like machine now modified not to remove the ghost from a person but to modify the structure of one. It had taken the better part of the thirteen years to create these changes but he had done it.
"I still need you on standby... Just in case it fails." Skulker simply nodded and became invisible.
"Plasmius." Frostbite had returned and was carrying his charred body covered in white sheets. The scars hadn't healed and to the untrained eye, he was just a victim to a horrible fire but that was far from the case.
He was so willing to give his life for so many and nobody besides some of the frost giants, Clockwork, himself and Skulker knew he was still alive. Even his family and friends had mourned and forgotten him.
"Are you ready?" Frostbite asked as he laid the boy down and hooked him up to the medical equipment he had summoned to the room. The heart monitor showed his pulse and heart beat which moved like they were in slow motion.
"The question is - Is he?" Vlad asked softly at the sight of the younger halfa. It still made his stomach curl at the sight of him like this. He couldn't believe the boy had lived through the entire ordeal, even if he was less human than he was, to begin with. That catastrophe would and should have killed anyone.
"We have an hour for the transplant so I advise that you use your time wisely. The people in these parts have been distributed elsewhere so no one will interrupt us now." The Frost Giant locked the doors and sighed suddenly looking much older as he glared at the man. "Vladimir if this fails..."
"It won't," Vlad said firmly. "I may have done many crazy things in the past but I do love Daniel as if he were my son. I would be lying to say that I'm not s-scared to fail but that's because he does not deserve that." He stated and if anyone heard his stutter no one mentioned it. "Okay. Let's begin we have already wasted too much time."
After entering the password into the machine it the ectoplasm began to slowly drain itself into the blue core's chamber as the same happened with Pariah's core. The blue core pulsed almost uncertain to accept before it began to sink the mix.
Thirty minutes in, the heart monitor spiked and Danny began to twitch.
"I thought you said an hour!" Vlad said as he watched the boy's face contort in pain. He felt horrible the boy was in an uncomfortable rest for more than a decade and the first thing he feels during his 'resurrection' is pain.
The thermoses began to tumble violently, cackling with electricity that promptly shocked Vlad who tried to stabilize it. Both the chambers on the left and right proceeded to drain their content at a rapid pace some how suffocating the halfa's core. Pariah's core fading as it drains.
"Plasmius, what's happening? Is this supposed to be happening?" Vlad remained silent as he began to rapidly type on the keypad on the controls. "VLAD!" He roared.
"Look would you be quiet! If you haven't noticed, I'm trying to save his life." Vlad hissed.
The core shards began to lose hue and fade as they made no sign of coming back together. His core, his heart, was failing.
It was obvious that Frostbite was restraining himself to a great degree but he could see that Vlad was also under pressure as he could potentially lose the boy. He thought about where he would have been if he hadn't taken the brunt of the blast. If the people had listened to his warnings. If they hadn't caught him. He would have had more time but fate seemed to work against him. Even now Vlad kept trying to work through this. He may look like one but he wasn't a monster.
The beeping grew erratic and the thermos to the right (containing the ectoplasm) crashed causing the chamber to explode. As if that wasn't shocking enough another ghost appeared beside Vlad and created a shield to protect Vlad, himself and The great one from the blast. It was the hunter ghost, Skulker.
"Vlad we need to stop, if we continue we'll only damage it further. Remove his core." Skulker said.
"NO! We can't, I can't turn my back on this, on him. Not again." Vlad's voice heavily dripped with an emotion the frost giant had never truly heard on the older halfa. Guilt. Honestly, it made Vlad look older than he actually was.
He didn't want to make assumptions on fear that he might get angry that this halfa was actually acting on force hope and impulse and the fact that they were not alone, but he decided he would deal with it if, no, not if, when they revived the Great One.
The beeping had not stopped but there was a reaction from the Great One who was heavily panting. The shards had began to descend into a bluish purple with flecks of red in the broken shards which were slowly sealing themselves with the tar like essence of Pariah's core. Vlad seemed to notice this and gave a sigh of relief and shrugged Skulker off.
"Look now it working h-"
The last two thermos crashed with Daniel's core in it. A ghostly wail erupted almost immediately.
So that's it peeps that or Danny v*res Pariah's core. This version makes Vlad the staple father figure. Quick and easy. The other version Danny seizes the throne by force and honestly threatens Fright Knight into serving him because Danny doesn't want to kill him even though he kills the general draguar ghost in charge of his torture almost immediately. (Because Danny does not like his tongue chopped off.) So what do you guys think?
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She's perfect. She's just... Perfect. I had a plan to kiss her. I was actually gonna steal that move from Victorious when Robbie asked if he could tell Cat a secret and then tilted her chin and kissed her. But it didn't work out. We sat on the wrong couches and her roommates came home. She walked me to my car at 9 PM and I was gonna do it then, but then she MENTIONED THAT SHE WANTED TO KISS ME and it totally threw off my element-of-surprise plan.
So by now, I'm 0 for 2. But I managed to tell her that I haven't kissed anyone since high school (my deepest, darkest secret -- not even my best friend knows that) but she didn't laugh or tease me. She told me that this was my moment, and that I had to initiate it, that I had to kiss HER and make this MY baby gay moment and that I'd kick myself if I let her kiss me and didn't have the guts to do it myself. And she was completely right. But I was scared shitless. But she didn't care. She refused to leave my side until I did it. She said she wanted me to have my moment, and she'd wait til I was ready.
It took nearly 3 hours. We talked about nothing. I was so nervous, I was flailing. I was talking super fast about literal nonsense. She smiled the entire time. It was raining. We were freezing. She didn't care. I asked her why she was willing to do this, willing to stand in the rain just so I could have a good first kiss with a girl. She said it was because I was cute. I asked her again later and told her not to give me the same answer. She said it was because I was REALLY cute. Every dumb thing I said, she countered it with a compliment. Her smile was... So genuine and never wavered, not even for a second. She said she liked to see me flustered and disarmed, the opposite of how I usually carry myself. Even when it rained, she assured me she was having a great time. She never budged. I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life. Eventually she "bribed" me with the idea of going back inside, getting under a blanket, thawing and watching Bob's Burgers. I said I'd do it "in a minute" and she counted backwards from 60. But poorly. "59...58...10...6...4...3...2..."
I kissed her on 1.
It was a peck, a middle school kiss, a nervous, teenage "I really like you but I'm so scared" kiss and I was petrified but it was perfect. She laughed and wrapped her arm around me and walked me back inside. She got me a heating pad for my back. I took a picture of her for my Snapchat story. We watched my favorite episode of Bob's Burgers. She could see I was panicking (not because of her -- I genuinely enjoy being around her) and asked what she could do to help. It wasn't a pity offer. She actually gave a fuck.
Suddenly, it's 1:30 AM and I have to go home. She offers to walk me to my car but I tell her no. Part of me thinks I've already blown it by being such an inexperienced INFANT gay. I don't want to drag her back to my car where I'd just held her hostage. She's still shivering and I feel terrible. She put herself through serious physical pain and discomfort to put me at ease and make sure my first kiss with a girl was special and my own unique moment. Besides, it's a short walk and I had already subjected her to 3 hours of frozen hell. I go to open the door, then turned back to say good night and she grabbed me and she kissed me and this was not a teenage peck.
This was a real kiss. A movie kiss. A fan fiction kiss. If I thought I was petrified before... I knew nothing of true TERROR until this moment but it only lasted a second. Otherwise, it's all bliss. It's all her. My mind is blank but eventually comes back and realizes that this is IT. This is a moment I've been waiting for for MUCH longer than I've ever let on. But her hands are on me and she's actually kissing ME and she's beautiful and smart and I want so badly not to disappoint her. At some point I tried to be smooth and pull her closer by her hips, and maybe I did, but all I really remember is HER, and that this is 10,000 times better than any of the shit I imagined. She said something cute and I stumbled out the door, dazed, and said something stupid back. Then I sat in the parking lot, texting a friend with trembling fingers because there's no way something this magical happened to ME, right?
At 2 PM this afternoon, I showered and got changed because I wanted to see her, and didn't have the courage to ask her to hang out until after 4. I downright considered turning back in the middle of the drive. At best, I thought we'd watch YouTube videos (she watched Markiplier play Until Dawn with me and she laughed at my favorite joke) but what I got instead? I'm not used to this. Good things don't happen to me. Not like this. Not ever. But it did happen. It's surreal and foggy, like a good dream that's lingering in my head, like if I go back to sleep, I might be able to keep it going in vivid detail. But it's 3:30 AM and I'm typing this post.
I don't understand any of this. I got a late start. What comes after a third date and a great kiss? (It was great for me, anyway. I hope it was passable for her.) I don't know. Life isn't The L Word. I don't know what happens after you open Pandora's Box. But it's open, and I'm happy. I don't know what comes next, but I'm ready. I think back to 2014, a love-sick, heartbroken 19-year-old who was suffering through her first WLW crush and thinking that this pain was forever and that there was no other path for me besides unrequited love and sad songs I wrote after the whole world went to sleep. But it does get better. For my baby gays reading this, it does get better.
You're gonna figure it out. So will I. It's scary, and your heart rate is going to be dangerously high, and you're going to sweat through 2 out of 3 of your shirts, but keep going. It's going to be great. I can't tell you when or how, but it will be. I can't even tell what's next for ME. A Valentine? A girlfriend? A whole bunch of other terrifying firsts? I don't know, my loves. I really don't. I just know that sometimes a day starts out with mundane job training and ends with an amazing, amazing first kiss. (My heart flutters every time I think about it and it's only been 2 hours.) But this is the first step in a potentially beautiful journey, and you all deserve to take that first step, too. Twentygayteen is upon us, my friends. Be braver than your Noona, and get out there. This thing I'm feeling right now? You all deserve to feel it. And I can't wait to hear all about it when you do. That's all for now. Thank you all for still caring about me after all these years. You guys still give me strength, and I'll never stop being grateful.
감사합니다! 사랑해! 잘자~
#long post because i need you all to know#you've been with me a long time#some of you truly care#this is where i'm at#Posts about her
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