#arvin russel x yu

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𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑❜𝐒 𝐂𝐀𝐅𝐄 𝐉𝐔𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

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c /づ づ 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄 all the works made by the very talented members of the writer's café server in the month of JULY. we ask, and highly encourage, that you reblog them in support. ♡

ALL WORKS ARE FOR THOSE 18+ ONLY.

𖥔 indicates smut

✶ indicates dark elements

By ☁︎☽Cocoa☽☁︎ @cocoamoonmalfoy @darksideofthecocoamoon @cocommunitymoon

𖥔 ✶ 𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐒 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐄 | Laurie Laurence x soft!dark!female!reader

I’ll sit and watch your car burn With the fire you started in me

𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄 | Arvin Russell x soft!dark!witch!reader

We are drawn to each other To the power, the passion But beware what awaits you Through the laws of attraction

𖥔 𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐌𝐄 | drummer!Taylor Russell and lead singer!Timothée Chalamet x black!female!reader.

Seeing your favorite band Bones and All becomes a dream come true in ways you never thought possible. Rockstar AU

✶ 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐍 | Inevitable!Timothée Chalamet x black!female!Reader

✶ 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓 | Timothée Chalamet x soft!dark!demon!female!reader

Demons always collect on their deals…

𖥔 ✶ 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 | Alouette!Timothée Chalamet x black!reader

Run far and fast…

𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 | On Your Team!Timothée Chalamet x black!female!reader

In the meadows.

By 𐀔Alex𐀔 @thecutestlittlebunbunfairy

𖥔 ✶ 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐏𝐈𝐄 | Steve Rogers x female!reader

On Steve’s birthday, a friendly gesture on your behalf leads to more than you could bargain for.

By ★Stella★ @a-lumos-in-the-nox

𖥔 ✶ 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐎/𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 | Multiple characters

𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐄 | character x black!female!reader

Meet Vulture and Birdie hero's in Omis City

By ☄︎Ellie☄︎ @mrsmischief209

𖥔 𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋 | Aaron Hotchner x female!reader

By ⎈Navy⎈ @navybrat817

✶ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 | Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x female!reader

You try to continue the date like "normal" after Bucky's promise.

𖥔 ✶ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 | Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

You talk to Addison, but may have dug a deeper hole for yourself. Bucky has a chat with you, too.

By ⚔︎Suz⚔︎ @targaryenvampireslayer

𖥔 ✶ 𝐀 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐄𝐅'𝐒 𝐏𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 | Dark!Qimir x female!reader

The apothecary is empty, treasures could be within, but you might get more than you bargained for.

By ⚡︎Viva⚡︎ @xoxovivafics

𖥔 ✶ 𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌, 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐄𝐍! | Ghostface! Eddie Munson x dark!black!female reader

You were one of the popular girls in high school. Now you’re back home for the summer and you and the queen bee are getting weird phone calls. But what if this is only the beginning of the horror?

By ✧Bella✧ @madwomansapologist

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐆𝐎 𝐎𝐔𝐓 | Usopp x strawhat!reader

With loguetown ahead of the crew, usopp finds comfort on your shared moments. talking, working or in complete silence: he loves them all.

𝐔𝐍𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔: 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 - 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄 | Agatha Harkness x female!reader

Trapped inside Westview, Agatha Harkness was reduced to Agnes. The noisy neighbor and nothing more than that. Until a meteor rain brought something strong to Westview. Something strong enough to help her, and maybe strong enough to free her. You. In a journey to save herself by teaching you the ways of magic, Agatha Harkness wants one thing only: to avenge herself.

𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐖 | Shan Yu x female!reader

for shan yu, you are his destiny. for you, he is the man that kidnapped you. love at first sight is a tale as old as time. he just didn't expect you wouldn't believe in it.

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐘 𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓, 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐍 | Tanjiro Kamaro x Hashira!Reader

tanjiro was accused of treason, and there was more than enought proof for you to cut his head and damn his existence. that was your duty as a hashira. but as a friend, you couldn't. you could never.

By 𖠰Nat𖠰 @the-iceni-bitch

𖥔 ✶ 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐄, 𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐀 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐍 | Mr. Freezy (Bobby) x hitwoman!fem reader (kitten)

Some things never change…

By ఌBam Bamఌ @buzzkillers

𖥔 ✶ 𝐅𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒 & 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒: 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 | Namor x black!female!reader

You try to find relief from the curse. The relief follows you home.

By ✬Astro✬ @eulalielatibule

𖥔 ✶ 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄 | dark!silverfox!Andy Barber x innocent!female!reader

By 𓆸Rika𓆸 @fushic0re

𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐒 | Rika x Toni Fushiguro

Self ship moodboard

By ⚘Akane⚘ @haravath0t

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔��𝐈𝐍𝐆... | Alhaitham x Akane

Self ship post

© all works belong to the respective writers of the writers café server

[januaryembrs]

I DIDN'T LOVE HIM AS I SHOULD | Arvin Russell x reader

Description: You had been in love with Arvin for five years. Why did he wait until you were engaged to confess his feelings for you?

Length: 4.6k+

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Lenora's su*cide, mention of Arvin's troubled childhood, foul language, death, mention of dead rabbit, brief light smut.

main masterlist

Note: I rewatched little women last night and I love everything about amy and laurie (guilty pleasure oops) and seeing as it was tom’s birthday yesterday I thought I’d write this little thing. Had to include Lenora bcus Eliza Scanlon my queen.

Arvin Russell was many things. Grumpy. Protective. Fiercely loving over the people he held dear. Chain smoker (despite how many cigarettes you’d smacked out of his hand only for him to pull another out with a kiss of his teeth). Loyal. Hot headed as hell. Hilariously dry-witted when he wanted to be. An amazing brother and grandson for one and your best friend for another.

But above all, Arvin Russell was fucking clueless.

You had liked the boy since the day you met him when your friend Lenora dragged her adoptive step-brother to church with her not five years before. Arvin had been living with them for some time then, a boy of fifteen years, but hadn’t been convinced to attend Sunday prayer until then. Lenora said he threw a fit about it the morning before but went anyway, after hours of her begging him to keep the two of you company.

After that, you saw him everywhere.

He was taking you and Nora to the cinema in town, he was helping you carry groceries, he was helping you with homework, he was cycling to yours with Nora on the front of his bike, asking if you wanted to come play in the lake down the street from your house. He was everywhere.

He was in your head all the time too.

It was really very easy to fall in love with Arvin Russell, and yet he had the hardest time figuring it out it seemed.

You didn’t know exactly what had done it. You remembered one time during your lake excursions, the three of you spent all afternoon building a rope swing on one of the overhanging branches using a burst tyre from the Russell’s car. It worked well. Arvin went first, swearing as he hit the freezing cold water and resurfaced, spitting out the filthy water that had entered his mouth mid-curse. Nora was next, she was much more graceful, swinging backwards and forwards a few times before she jumped, landing in the water with a squeal of joy.

Then came you. You felt your hands start shaking as you reached for the rope - had it always been this high? It looked so fun when they had done it and now it was your turn, you felt like sitting this one out. The rocks banking the tree that held the rope suddenly seemed much more jagged and lethal than they had before.

“Come on, doll! Water’s lovely and warm,” Arvin yelled, treading water near where he’d plummeted into the lake. The weather had been one of the hottest summer’s Knockemstiff had ever seen so you didn’t doubt him. You put one foot in the middle of the tyre and  kept the other safely on land, but even that seemed like too far of a step so you retreated.

“C’mon, Y/N!” Nora yelled as you frantically shook you’re head, laughing nervously.

“No! I’m not doing it, I’m scared!” You confessed back, though you chuckled all the same. This wasn’t some perilous task, not a matter of life or death, so you still found the humour in it but your nerves were shaken nonetheless.

“Do it!” Arvin called, shaking his hair out, “You got this doll, come on!”

“Hurry up, this water’s disgusting!” Nora added, screaming when Arvin chuckled devilishly and splashed her in the face with a wave of the stagnant lake. “Arvin!”

“Tell you what, darlin’” the brunet boy called up to you, “You get in now and I’ll give you a kiss as a reward,” Being the fourteen-year-old girl you were, and Lenora being only ten at the time, you both grimaced.

“Ewww!” You chorused, laughing at the way the boy’s face dropped.

“We’re trying to get her in the water, Arvin, not send her running home,” Lenora quipped, and you laughed loudly. Nora was known for being the quiet one of your trio, which meant when she had something slightly sassy up her sleeve, it had you in stitches.

Arvin scoffed, though he had a smirk perched on his lips, “You’ve got some mouth on you today, missy,” He said splashing her with the water again. She screamed and copied his actions though her hands were much smaller and sent mere droplets his way, and their roars of glee met your ears. That really did look fun, you pined to yourself.

“Alright, alright!” You said, putting your foot back in the tyre and leaning back for extra grip. “Pucker up, buttercup.”

With that you took a deep breath, squealing with nerves and jumped. As soon as your second foot left the ground, you swung forward, trying not to think too much as you released when the rope reached its peak. You plunged into the water after a moment of what felt almost like flying, and for a split second everything was silent. The water muted the sounds of the outdoors, and you just let yourself still under the water.

Did Arvin really just offer to kiss you? The thought rolled around your head. And suddenly you were imagining it, pressing yourself against him and taking his lips in your own gently. The oddest heat spread across your chest and, at the feeling, you didn’t find the thought of kissing your best friend so disgusting anymore. In fact, you found it intriguing. You found it tempting. You heard Arvin say something to you but it was muffled by the water. The burn of breathlessness tugged at your throat and you had to leave your daydream behind as you kicked your legs until you reached the surface, bursting through the water with a deep breath. Your hair gripped the back of your neck, and you rubbed your eyes to get the remnants of the water from clinging to your eyelashes.

“We were beginning to think you’d passed out on your way down.” Lenora joked, swimming towards the bank to pull herself out, “I bet I could do a flip!”

You cheered after her, treading the oddly clear water beneath you, and turning your attention to Arvin. He looked at you smugly, before leaning in and purposely puckering his lips out to you.

“Fuck off and keep dreaming, lover boy,” You said, shoving him away with a laugh, though your trail of thought hadn’t left you since you’d surfaced. Part of you only wished you’d taken his offer.

Four years later, that ‘odd heat’ in your chest was a full-blown forest fire that spread all over your body whenever you were in proximity of Arvin Russell. He only had to look at you with those soft, brown eyes and you were putty. He had only gotten better looking with time too. His arm muscles had bulged with all the manual work his Grandma asked him to do for her, his hair had gotten longer and curlier, he had a certain ruggedness to him that would make any nineteen-year-old boy into a heartthrob. It was really no surprise when he started meeting the other girls.

You had been best friends since you’d met. Though Lenora was your friend too, you saw her much like a sister to you than a best friend. You and Arvin would take last night drives together when she had bible study, or if she had homework to do seeing as you had now graduated. You would drive him places some days, and he would drive you others. You would talk to him about the grown-up shit you couldn't put on a fourteen-year-old, like your fear of never leaving Knockemstiff or the time you’d gotten close to confessing your feelings for him and told him you worried you’d never find anyone who could love you the way you wanted. He told you about his parents and how he was orphaned, and the dark thoughts he had because of how tragic his life had been, how some days he got so angry and frustrated at the world for doing that to him that he wanted to scream until he burst a vessel.

You were so heartbroken when he told you he’d lost his virginity.

It seemed so stupid, probably because in your own world you’d always hoped the two of you would make it and he’d suddenly take you in his arms during one of your many car rides and confess that “I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long. You’re the one for me. You always have been.” The daydream had lulled you to sleep through tears, begging the universe to give him to you. You didn’t deserve a boy as sweet as Arvin, no one did for that matter, but you cried and pleaded with anyone in the heavens listening to make him yours.

So it hit you like a gun shot to the chest when you got in his car one morning to see his face pulled into a gleeful grin.

“What’s gotten you so chirpy? You’re usually grumpy before your morning coffee.” You noted, fastening your seat belt as he set off towards the diner you spent every weekend in sharing a stack of pancakes.

“Nothing,” He said, but the smug undertone said otherwise.

You sighed, smiling at the boy, “Don’t make me ask again, Arvin. Clearly there’s something you wanna tell me.”

He wetted his lips with his tongue, and you swear you didn’t hear what he said as you focused on his mouth moving. His cherry lips parted with words that sounded muffled, the same way it had that day at the lake when you were submerged underwater, again with your head full of this boy. But your mind snapped into gear like an awful realisation as it made sense of what he said.

I had sex this morning.

“What?” You said, brows furrowed. The air left your lungs and you all but gawked at the boy infornt of you who hadn’t realised his mistake. There was no real mistake to realise, it wasn’t cheating but it hurt you as though it had been.

“I had sex this morning. Right where you’re sitting actually.” He laughed, knowing you’d probably find that gross but would commemorate him for the big step he’d taken. Instead, he found you staring at your shoes, hands folded into your lap looking disgusted with yourself.

He’d done it with someone else. He’d taken his clothes off. He’d taken her clothes off. He’d put it inside her. He’d made her moan his name. He’d had her, not you.

And the worst part was you had no grounds to be upset, yet your heart had been wrenched from your chest right there and then. The mental images were conjured up before you could stop them, and you had to bite the inside of your cheek to stop the tears from welling in your eyes. It was no use. You discreetly turned to look out the window as you heard him ask if you were okay. You nodded silently, brushing your cheek on your shoulder quickly and wiping your nose. He was expecting an answer. You felt his hand on your thigh trying to grab your attention, and all you could do was pull it away. His hands felt dirty now they had been on her.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just saw a dead rabbit on the road, is all.” You made up the excuse, clearing your throat and turning back to the boy with a very clearly wobbly smile on your face. “Well done, lover boy.”

You wished that could have been the only time your heart had broken because of Arvin, but it wasn’t. Girl after girl, week after week you were forced to sit in the exact seat they’d done it in. It made you feel sick to even look at his car now knowing your seat had become reserved for whichever girl it was that week. Soon, you simply had to accept the fact you weren’t Arvin’s special girl anymore.

Some days you thought back to the boy in the lake and you cursed yourself every fucking day for not kissing him. Atleast then you could have had a taste of heaven before the golden gates had slammed in your face.

You found something close to peace when you met Fred. He was good looking, ambitious to get out of Knockemstiff as you were, rich enough to get you there and he was nice to you. That was all you needed. You needed someone to fill the gap ripped into you by Arvin and the girls in his car. You liked Fred, you really really did. There were moments he’d make your heart flutter if he said something awfully sweet, or he’d make you laugh telling you a joke he’d made up with his friend’s that day. He was good, but your wretched mind would put it into your head that he wasn’t Arvin.

He just wasn’t the same, and no amount of jokes or sweet words could make him so.

But when you had been dating for almost a year, it came as no surprise when he proposed. The ring was lovely, the diamond huge and crystal clear clarity courtesy of his parents wealth no doubt. He looked at you with such hope, and for a moment you really could see a future with him. You’d never tell him that you were happy to settle for him, but that’s what you were. But it was with an amazing man who held such promise and treated you the way you’d always wished Arvin would.

He gave you what you wanted, and that was enough for you to say yes.

The second the ring was on your finger, he’d scooped you up in his arms and whispered that he had booked an engagement getaway for the two of you. Two months away, in a far off country where the sun was warm and where the cocktails would be sweet enough to take away from the taste of alcohol. It sounded wonderful, and you couldn’t wait to tell Arvin. He would be so happy for you, and two months without seeing him and solely focusing on your new fiancee would no down squash any last feelings you had for the boy.

You practically bounded over to his car when he pulled up outside Fred’s home. You had spent all day with him and Arvin agreed to drive you home on the way back from work seeing as he would have had to go past their house anyway. You pulled your new fiancee for a long kiss, hearing Arvin beeping his horn for you to hurry up. You laughed at the boy, as did Fred and you pulled away, not wanting to keep him waiting any longer.

“Sorry, got caught up.” You said, smiling as Fred waved the two of you off. Arvin gave him a brief raise of the hand back before his foot hit the accelerator. You smiled out the window, seeing Knockemstiff pass by for what would soon be the last time in a while. You’d miss your friend’s dearly, but you’d be coming back so it’s not as though you’d be seeing them for the last time ever. It would only be a few months.

“What, sucking some guy’s face off?” Arvin asked, only half-joking as he almost groaned at the thought.

“Like you’re one to talk. Which girl was it this week, Arv?” You teased, knocking against his elbow when he didn’t say anything.

“Didn’t have any girls this week actually.” He replied shortly, and you guessed work had been hard. Using his right hand to reach over and open his glove box he fondled around for a moment before grunting. “Can you get my cigarettes please, doll?”

You snorted a laugh, sticking your own hand into the compartment and quickly finding the smokes. You pulled them out and handed him the red packet, completely forgetting about the new amenity on your finger. “What wrong? Can’t get it up?”

“Yeah, real funny. Actually I-” Arvin was in the middle of grumbling when his eyes narrowed in on the diamond. “What the fuck is that?”

You almost reeled back at his tone, though you put it down to surprise. You had to admit, married at eighteen was ballsy and not something you would do but Fred was the best guy you’d ever find actually willing to spend his life with you. It's not like Arvin had shown any interest let alone offer first.

“What does it look like, stupid? I was going to tell you when you stopped the car.” You replied, pulling your hand back to inspect the ring with a smile. It really was gorgeous.

“How- When?” Arvin asked, bewildered. His eyes were so wide you were sure they were going to pop out of the sockets, and his lips lacked the smile that was plastered on your own.

“Last night. He took me out to dinner on that fancy place uptown. He said he was going to hide it in the desert but decided it was too nice to get crumbs and frosting over, can you believe that?” You said with a light laugh, frowning when you heard silence back. You turned your head to see the boy clenching the steering wheel with white knuckles, a face looking forlorn. He had never seemed so much like a little boy as when you looked at him them, as though he looked lost and confused waiting for someone to tell him what to say. “Arv, you okay?”

Something about your engagement must have pissed him off, seeing as he had seemed alright until the huge rock had made its way into his periphery. He grumbled a response, something half hum that you couldn’t tell was a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’, and carried on driving. You felt your smile slip away almost instantly, and your lips pulled down into a pout as you couldn’t deny your feelings had been hurt that he was being so rude.

“I would have thought you’d have been happy for me,” You said quietly after a few minutes of silence. It was clear he didn’t approve of this, whether it was cause he was just so different to Fred and found him a little uptight at times you couldn’t be certain, but he was your best friend at the end of the day. You would have guessed he’d at least wear his disappointment better. “I was going to ask you to be a groomsman,”

Arvin scoffed, and you frowned even further. His noise of disappointment left a bitter taste in your mouth and you decided you’d had enough of trying to appease his bad mood and stayed quiet.

The drive was silent for the next few minutes until he pulled up outside your house. You instantly leapt up out of your seat, swinging the door shut on the boy with the foul mood and not even bothering to say goodbye. Perhaps he could spend the next few months, while you were on holiday with your fiancee, thinking his attitude over. You got all but halfway up the steps to your home before another car door was shut and your name was called.

Spinning back on your heel, you watched Arvin walking towards you with a stone-cold serious look on his face, though he was wringing his hands the way he did when he was nervous.

“Doll, please…” He trailed off, coming to stand on the path in front of you. You moved back down the few stairs you had ascended, and stood before of him, though the raise of your eyebrow told him he was walking on a thin line. “Don’t marry him.”

You pulled back in shock. What had he just said?

“What?” Your voice was small, confused. There was no way he was seriously asking this of you.

“Don’t marry him.” He repeated. You frowned at him, watching his soft brown eyes lower in sadness.

“Why?” You asked coldly. This was your chance of happiness, your chance to get over Arvin once and for all and even then he was standing in the way of it. The guilty look on his face told you everything you needed to know, and he reached out to take your none ring-bearing hand in his. He took a deep breath as if preparing himself for confession, but he was stopped when your empty laugh caught him off guard. “You have some fucking nerve, Arvin.”

He looked even more guilty than before as you drew your hand away from his. You felt the tears lacing your eyes, how could he do this to you now. How could he stand here about to confess that he liked you, that he wanted you, when you had been waiting too damn long for those words. “I’m sor-”

“You’re so fucking mean, Arvin. You know that?” You said, as the first tear broke the surface and trailed down your face. “All those girls I had to watch you with, all those times I’d get into your car and you’d have just dropped them home from a quick fuck-”

“I was trying to forget you-” He tried to excuse but you only scoffed. He hated seeing you so furious, so sad because of him, and he only wanted to wipe the falling tears away like he always would do. He wasn’t lying. That had been the reason for all those girls coming back to his car. In fact, he always specified that they would do it in that seat, your seat, because in some twisted way Arvin could pretend it was you that he was kissing, you that he was touching in those places. You had descended into full-blown crying, but your voice was surprisingly steady.

“I don’t believe you, Arvin. I will not be the girl you fall back because you can’t get any others to fuck you this week. I won’t be the girl you have as your second choice because Cindy or Sarah or any of those other girls don’t want you around right now, do you hear?” You said, ready turn back and storm up to your front door. You let a silent sob pass through your lips as you looked at him one last time for what would be months seeing as your flight was in the next few weeks and you doubted either of you would want to see each other. He looked sad, like a kicked puppy being scolded by its master. “I won’t be the girl you run to now, not when I’ve spent my life stuck in love with you, Arvin.” With that, you left, not wanting to hear a single word that he had to say.

---------

You couldn’t believe it when you heard. Nora, your sweet Lenora. The girl who had stood next to you and sang hymns and read prayers, the girl who you drove to school, the girl who had screamed and cried to you when she’d gotten her first period. That Lenora was gone.

You had spent all week bawling your eyes out, refusing to believe what your mother had told you was true. Fred tried to cheer you up by reminding you your engagement getaway was due in a few days, but you couldn’t think of anything worse than going on holiday now. And then, as the uncertainty of the trip came along, doubts of the marriage came with it as they had since the beginning. You knew you were being selfish by marrying Fred. He deserved a woman who would love him completely, undoubtedly, not one using him to get over someone else. Ofcourse you loved him, but it felt much more like friends between the two of you. Even when you kissed it felt awkward to you, there was no spark, no butterflies, no wildfire like there was when Arvin so much as looked at you.

You knew what you had to do. It would be hard, and you would feel guilty but you knew what was right.

That was how you found your way back to Arvin. It was surprisingly by accident, but then again you two had always been so in sync that it was no surprise you went to the same place to think Lenora’s death over.

The lake.

He was sat on the small bank where you’d built the rope swing, pushing the tyre out only for it to pendulum back for him to catch it and repeat. If he heard you coming he didn’t show it, or maybe he knew it was you and decided to give you the silent treatment. His hair was messy at the back as though he’d been tossing in his sleep and hadn’t brushed it, and he was wearing the scruffy clothes he threw on when he was working on his car.

Either way, the air was palpable between the two of you as you sat down next to him, the tears already in your eyes. You had wanted to be strong when you told him this, but there was so much to say, so much unsaid between the two of you that it grabbed you in a chokehold the moment you saw him.

He turned to look at you slowly and his eyes were red already, chin wet with tears that had gathered there.

You didn’t say anything. You simply looked at one another with the same bloodshot eyes, the same creased brow, the same pained expression, before you moved to crush each other in a hug at the same time.

You sobbed into his shoulder, he hid his face into your neck. You were both hurting, but you understood one another. The month of radio silence from him hadn’t changed that.

You didn’t want to breach the subject of Lenora now, you knew him too well to know it was too fresh a nerve to touch as of yet. So you stayed quiet for a moment, just wrapped in each other the way you knew you needed to be.

You found your voice after a moment and you announced what you had come searching for him to say.

“I’m not marrying Fred,” You murmured into his shoulder, and you felt him tense up. He didn’t say anything however just simply pulled back to look at your expression, which avoided his gaze. You couldn’t look at him when you said this, you were sure you’d break down crying again. “I didn’t love him as I should have. I didn’t love him the way I love-” The word ‘you’ hung in the air, and you had to draw in a breath to hold back your tears. “But I know this is really hard right now with her gone, and so you don’t need to say or do anything-”

He stopped you talking with his lips. You felt him cup your face and just like that the raging flame that had died out was back, crawling down your throat from the point where his lips met yours. Your lungs were seized with smoke that didn’t choke or stutter, it only brought want and need like nicotine and you suddenly understood why he smoked if it felt even half as heavenly as this.

So you kissed him at the lake, five years too late but a lifetime to make up for it.

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