#artventure gremlins
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internetremix · 6 years ago
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I drew these while I was watching artventure yesterday. Unfortunately I didn’t watch it live, I watched it a week later. Everyone is a great voice actor! I love artventure and I hope it continues, but take your time you deserve a break !   
-PF
Thank you for the kind words and cute art! Gotta love Maggie’s jealous face and how happy Sams looks and Kitkat is very mad hahaha. Also ah lean of not love I swear shut up Sams. Very good! -Kristen
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bryancroidragon · 6 years ago
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Saving Maggie and Sams
My sixth story for Artventure Noir. It is okay, average in my opinion, but I hope the people at @internetremix will like it.
Lorenzo Deutsch was best described as a purple Boris Karloff when it came to appearance. Why was he purple? That was a legitimate question that even he did not know the answer too. A gangster and sympathizer of an infamous political party from overseas, he was the brother of a man that Maggie O’Hera had shot in self-defense. Thus he had sworn revenge on Maggie and, because he was a romantic or at least he was one in his view, he had captured Sams McSams as well, whom he believed to be Maggie’s lover.
So here they were. Maggie and Sams were tied to a pole in a pit in a warehouse surrounded by a moat of wet cement on the eastside of Internet City. Above them Deutsch smiled as the wet cement began to be filled into the pit.
“Ms. O’Hera, Detective McSams, I’m sure you’ll be happy to know that Internet City will be in good hands under Chief Dean, he is a man after my own heart after all. The eradication of the unwanted such as those pesky goblins will be a great help to the city.” Said Deutsch while Maggie and Sams both glared at him. “And speaking of goblins…” He turned and looked upon Edwin O’Sullivan, Egyptologist and veteran of the war of the previous decade, in the grips of his henchmen, the 7’1 Hagen and the non-descript Mime, the latter of which was holding Edwin’s revolver. “Mr. O’Sullivan, I… Actually, what rank did you hold when you were an officer in the trenches?”
“Captain.” Answered Edwin.
“Captain O’Sullivan, where are those two goblins that were with you?”
“Go to Acheron!”
There was a moment of near silence. Deutsch, Hagen and Mime all stood there with a perplexed expressions upon their countenances while Edwin stood in the grasp of Hagen and Mime swinging his right leg back and forth and the cement slowly filled the pit that Maggie and Sams were in.
Finally, Deutsch said: “I don’t know what that is.” He then looked down at Edwin’s right leg. “And why are you doing that?”
“I’m trying to get my prosthetic foot loose so I can send it flying at you!”
“Oh… Trench foot?”
“How else?”
Deutsch and his henchmen both nodded. That was logical. “If you won’t tell me then I guess I will just shoot you with your own gun, seduce your widow and then sell all of that junk you Egyptologists call things of value!” He took Edwin’s gun from Mime, aimed it at Edwin, pulled the trigger and… Nothing. Upon examining the revolver, Deutsch discovered it to be: “Empty?”
“I got rid of my bullets after I shot Sams in the shoulder.” Said Edwin. “Speaking of which… How are you two doing down there?”
“It is at knee level!” shouted Maggie.
“We’re fine, take your time, go to the Greasy Spoon, buy a donut!” added Sams with a sarcastic tone.
Deutsch growled and threw the revolver aside just as Edwin managed to get his prosthetic foot loose. It went flying and… It went right over Deutsch’s head and then landed in the pit that was filling with cement. Maggie’s cry of “Ouch!” caused Edwin to wince. The Purple Boris Karloff then walked over to the pit to see where the prosthetic foot had landed after it had hit Maggie’s cranium. It had just begun to sink into the cement on her left.
With a smug grin, Deutsch turned to Edwin and exclaimed: “You misses me, you dense animal!” Then did a pomegranate come flying down from the rafters of the warehouse and hit him square in the face, sending him into the pit filling with cement.
Kitkat had gotten the pomegranate out of her saxophone.
Down from the rafters she came with her saxophone in hand. She blew into it and the barrel of a gun emerged from the mouth of the saxophone. Hagen and Mime both stood there wide-eyed until the former noticed something even smaller than Kitkat running for the pit.
It was Algae Cake!
Letting go of Edwin, Hagen grabbed a twenty-pound sledgehammer from a nearby table and lumbered towards the little gremlin. Had Algae Cake not had a stubby left leg, he would have been faster when it came to getting to the pit that was filling with cement. Because he was not, he was only three feet away from the pit when Hagen brought the sledgehammer down right in front of him.
To say that Algae Cake was frightened would be an understatement, coming up to the bottom of Kitkat’s neck he was a small gremlin and the 7’1 Hagen was even bigger to him. To say that he had fainted would have been an outright lie. To say that he went running the other way screaming with Hagen chasing after him trying to smash Algae Cake with a sledgehammer would be an entirely accurate statement.
With Hagen’s grasp no longer on his right arm, Edwin brought his right fist into Mime’s face sending the non-descript man to the floor. He then turned to Kitkat and said to her while balancing on his left foot: “Hand me that rope and tie the other end to something sturdy.” Kitkat handed the specified rope to Edwin and he then hopped on over to the pit and went on down to get Maggie and Sams out. The cement was now waist high. When he got down there, he paused and asked them: “Have either of you seen my foot?”
“It sunk, Edwin.” Stated Maggie.
“Oh…” Edwin began untying Maggie and Sams when something suddenly came to mind. “Wait, where is Deutsch?” As if on command, the cement covered form of Deutsch emerged from the cement and put Edwin in a chokehold. The latter’s response? “I should have kept my mouth shut!” Edwin had done his work. The ropes were loose. Maggie and Sams were able to get free and once they were they pulled Edwin from Deutsch’s hold and then simultaneously punched the cement-covered purple Boris Karloff in the face. Deutsch went down, slumped against the side of the pit. Edwin then pointed to the rope as he looked at Maggie and said: “Ladies, first.”
Maggie went up the rope and Sams followed her. When they were both up, Maggie called down and said: “Edwin, you hold onto the rope and we’ll pull you up!”
“Okay!” said Edwin, holding onto the rope. “I’m rea—“ He didn’t get any further. Deutsch had regained consciousness and had wrenched Edwin from the rope. Hitting the Egyptologist with his arms like some sort of ape, Deutsch left himself open for a move that he had not anticipated. Edwin grabbed him by the throat and then forced his head under the rising cement. With hands out reached, Deutsch clawed at Edwin’s face until finally he met the end he had intended for Maggie and Sams.
To say that Edwin was feeling fine following that moment would be untrue. He leaned against the side of the pit while Maggie and Sams both came over and looked down at him.
“Ed!” said Sams. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Lied Edwin. “Why do you ask?”
“You are up to your chest in cement and you are just leaning there… Having a flashback to the war?”
“Yeah…” He held onto the rope and then Maggie and Sams pulled him out of the pit and turned off the cement. After sitting down in a chair he looked around and saw that someone was missing. He looked at Kitkat and asked: “Where is Top hat gremlin?”
“That big guy was chasing him with a sledgehammer!” she said, understood by Maggie and Sams. “I don’t know where they went!”
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internetremix · 6 years ago
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So are all Gremlins saxophone players, or is a sax Gremlin just a sub-species of sorts? XD (Kit Kat is adorable I love her please protect)
Kristen: Hm. It probably makes more sense for Sax gremlins to just be a subspecies at this pointAlex: We've seen gremlins play things that aren't the saxKristen: Or be police chiefs. Maybe they evolve like pokeymans.
Alex: Please, the evolution is clearly akin to that of deejeemansKristen: No it's like when you get a cutie mark in the ponies. YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE AND THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE! THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW SAXOPHONE GREMLIN!Moon: Puff also knows how to play the Hurdy Gurdy
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internetremix · 5 years ago
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I know that back near the end of Artventure Noir that you had considered having a special episode that was just the gremlins. Understanding that you have no plans to return to Noir at this point (or possibly ever), have you put any further thought into this idea because I think it would still be fun.
Jordan: Artventure: Noir 'Puff, and the Case of the Stolen Cookie'
Jojo: spoiler: mint stole the cookie and feels bad about it and then realizes their misdeeds and shares it with everyone and they all sing a stupid catchy song about friendship Alex: An ArtVenture without me? Huzzah! Finally I can die! Jojo: pets it's ok, you're free now. Go on, get outta here Carl: !!! God it's been such a while since I've thought of Artventure Noir... the Gremlins were the best
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internetremix · 5 years ago
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Here’s a blast from the past. I really loved the Noir artventures, so have a Kitkat!
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Oh my god, it’s Kitkat! Aaaa it’s been so long! Thank you so much, she’s so cute! -Kristen
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internetremix · 6 years ago
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I hope you guys like my drawing of Kit Kat eating her pomegranate
I love it
-Cami
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internetremix · 6 years ago
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Remember that old comic dub of Temmieache that was posted on the MOTI channel? It really fits the Noir Arc. SNICKERS: Snickers is hurttie. MCSAMS: Aw, buddy, what's wrong? SNICKERS: Ate a LOT. Full of pomegranates. MCSAMS: Aww. So you are a pomegramlin? SNICKERS: Put me the FUCK down.
I mean you right.
-Kristen
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internetremix · 6 years ago
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Artventure 6/3/2018
Gremnoir Part I So uh. We got a bit carried away with Artventure. The brief captions allotted to me by the tumbles really don’t do it justice. I definitely hope you guys watch the youtube video when it’s up!
Art by @miss-goggles, @camichats, @jsketch12, @jojo-soda Narration (in stream, look you gotta watch the stream) by @alexandervonkoopa
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bryancroidragon · 6 years ago
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Finding Maggie and Sams
My fifth Artventure Noir story features neither Maggie or Sams in person. Actually, it is probably because of that this might be the worst story I have written for Artventure Noir yet. Besides Kitkat, most of the characters who appear in this are OCs so I’m not sure how people will feel about this. here is hoping the people at @internetremix like it.
It was a fine Tuesday morning at O’Sullivan Manor, formerly known as “Carthach Manor”, and also known as the O’Sullivan Museum of Egyptology, formerly known as the “Carthach Museum of Egyptology.” Edwin O’Sullivan and his wife Audrey were enjoying breakfast on the veranda of the manor.
Audrey was a young woman the same age as her husband. She was a thin woman with light skin, reddish-brown eyes and straight long hair. She was wearing a blue dress just as Edwin was wearing a red blazer.
Edwin was looking at a letter he had received from the Internet City Zoo. It said they had managed to acquire a young male caracal from the Cairo Zoo and wanted Internet City’s very own Egyptologist to name him.
“I have a few names considered, Audrey” Said Edwin.
“May I hear them, dear?” asked Audrey.
“Akhenaten, Tutankhamen, Ramses, Alexander, Augustus, Caligula and Nero.”
“I’d remove ‘Caligula’ and ‘Nero.’” Said Audrey, stirring her tea with a spoon. “Caligula was, well, Caligula and Nero was the Antichrist. I’m not sure those are the most inviting names.”
“Noted.” Edwin said, nodding. “I should probably remove ‘Ramses’ from the list too since that DeMille picture came out and portrayed Ramses the Great as the Pharaoh of the Exodus.”
“You aren’t removing ‘Augustus’ for how he is often portrayed?” asked Audrey.
“No, I think Robert Graves’ novels will really turn things around and people will view him as a great hero! I am keeping him on the list!”
“So, we have three names that start with the letter ‘A’…” Audrey tapped her teaspoon on her teacup.
“Yeah, looks like we are going with Tutankhamen.” Stated Edwin. “No, wait! Merneptah!”
“For goodness sake, Edwin! Not everyone in Internet City is an Egyptologist! They won’t know that Merneptah was Ramses the Great’s successor and thirteenth son!”
“Of course they will! He was in that Austrian film ‘The Moon of Israel!’”
The subject of the caracal’s name came abruptly to an end as two gremlins came running onto the veranda. One was obviously Kitkat, the gremlin that Sam McSams had abducted but the other was a smaller one that only came up to the bottom of Kitkat’s neck, had a stubby left leg, a right shoulder that was higher than the left and was wearing a top hat.
“Hello, Kitkat. What brings you here?” asked Audrey. “And who is your adorable little friend?”
“He’s Algae Cake!” replied Kitkat. “Maggie was grabbed at the cemetery when she was visiting Leon’s grave!”
“Oh! By who?”
“By cops!” answered Algae Cake. “She was handcuffed by them and then gagged after she bit the nose of this old guy!”
“And they got Sams too!” exclaimed Kitkat. “We went to his place and found the place ransacked! There was a broken bottle and a puddle of blood!”
“What did they say?” asked Edwin. He never was able to understand gremlins they were as intelligible as people who spoke French to him.
“It would seem corrupt policemen have taken Maggie hostage and someone has gotten Sams too.” Answered Audrey. “Oh, Edwin, it is dreadful! You’ve got to do something!” Both Edwin and Audrey were fully capable of managing the museum but only Edwin had ever been a person of action since he had fought in the war of the previous decade.
 “I’ll be home once I’ve found Maggie and Sams, Audrey.” Edwin stood up. “If I don’t come back…” He looked at his wife and Audrey could not bear to look her husband in the eye. “I’ll be back home soon. I promise.”
“I pray that you will, Edwin.” Said Audrey, her voice sounding like she was about to cry. “I pray that you will.”
With his revolver from the war and the two gremlins on his shoulders, Edwin made his way to the Internet City Police Station. Police had taken their own police chief captive? Well then, it was best to start at the viper’s nest itself.
Edwin’s paternal grandfather Charles had been buried beneath the police station. That was an odd wish but even odder was that he dictated that he be buried upside down in a baseball bat shaped coffin. Ever since reverting the name to “O’Sullivan” Edwin had made arrangements to have Charles’ body dug up and buried on the grounds of the O’Sullivan estate. That had been a month ago, they were still digging Charles out.
Entering the police station he walked right to where his gut told him to go: Maggie’s office. The fifty-five year-old Robert McFarlane looked up from his desk as Edwin passed and raised an eyebrow when he saw the gremlins sitting on Edwin’s shoulder. When Edwin entered the office, he saw a policeman who had the appearance of a derelict and a bleeding nose standing before Maggie’s desk. He was ripping a photograph of Sams, Maggie and her late partner Leon to pieces.
“Officer Mark Dean…” said Edwin, causing the middle-aged officer to turn around in surprise.
“Mr. O’Sullivan! It is Chief Mark Dean now.”
“Where is Maggie?”
“Don’t know, must have left town.” Dean looked at Kitkat and then Algae Cake. “Since when do you let goblins ride on your shoulders?” Both gremlins glared at the usurper and began pointing fingers at him while quickly speaking in Edwin’s ear. He did not understand a word they were saying but they were getting across plainly what they were trying to tell him. Dean had been the leader of the cops that had gotten Maggie! Dean paid the gremlins no mind and just picked up Algae Cake by the back of his jacket, saying: “Look at this scrawny little runt! How much do you wanna guess he doesn’t survive being thrown out the window?”
“Where is Maggie?” asked Edwin again. “And you can tell me where Sams is too.”
“I told you I don’t know where she is, as for McSams he is probably drunk is a gutter somewhere.” Dean held Algae Cake up to the light and looked at the little gremlin’s left leg. “Take a look at his stubby leg! With his uneven legs he should have been euthanized!”
 “Put the gremlin down and tell me where Maggie and Sams are. I know that a group of policemen took Maggie captive and that Sams’ home was ransacked, now tell me where they are!”
 Dean tossed Algae Cake onto the desk, the gremlin landing on a pair of handcuffs. “They are with Lorenzo Deutsch, I’m sure you must have met him at the Club Lavender.”
“The sympathizer of that bloc of authoritarians led by the Charlie Chaplin lookalike that sounds like Margaret Hamilton? I’ve met him. Where has he taken them?” Edwin kept his eyes on Dean, he had a feeling the corrupt cop would come at him any moment.
“To that warehouse on the eastside!” Dean laughed. “At eleven Deutsch is going drown them in concrete!”
“Not if I have anything to say about it.”
“They will drown! I am not going to be taking orders from a woman ever again and I won’t let some Egyptologist save that damn woman and her goblin-loving boyfriend!” Dean began to charge with a raise fist only to be suddenly stopped. “What the?” He looked down and found his right ankle handcuffed to the leg of Maggie’s desk. Algae Cake was standing there with a smile on his face, waving at Dean. The corrupt cop furled his brow, narrowed his eyes and then kicked the gremlin across the room until he hit the office’s wall. The next thing Dean knew he heard the screams of Kitkat. He turned and saw her flying at him with her saxophone in hand. She ended up bashing her saxophone against Dean’s nose, which had already been in pain enough from Maggie biting it. After screaming, Dean hurled Kitkat across the office only for Edwin to punch him in the face, hitting him right on the nose.
So fell Mark Dean.
With the unconscious cop on the desk, Edwin walked over to Kitkat and picked her up. “You okay?”
Although Edwin could not understand her, Kitkat answered with “I’m okay!” while nodding.
“Great and what about… Uh… Top hat gremlin?”
No sooner did Edwin finish the question did Algae Cake come running over… while holding the top of a mop. “I have the top of a mop!” he said, stating the obvious. “I can flop it on a cop! I can swap it for a top! I can—“
“I think you should stop.” Commented Kitkat with a completely deadpan expression.
Edwin just stared in confusion at this sight. He had seen no mop top so he felt the need to ask Kitkat:” Does Maggie keep a drawer full of mop tops?” Kitkat could only shake her head leading to Edwin sighing: “Okay then…”
The Egyptologist and the two gremlins left the office, leaving the unconscious corrupt cop on the desk with his right ankle handcuffed to the desk’s leg. McFarlane approached the three and said: “I heard everything. Want me to get some men rallied and we’ll go save the chief and McSams?”
“No, stay here and root out the other corrupt cops!” ordered Edwin. “Leave the rescuing of them to us.” Edwin, Kitkat and Algae Cake then left the police station completely.
If only Dean had stayed unconscious longer. No sooner than Edwin and the gremlins left the office, Dean had regained consciousness and took of the phone on Maggie’s desk, turned the dial until he got the number he wanted and said: “Deutsch, it is Dean! You might want to drown those two ahead of time!” 
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bryancroidragon · 6 years ago
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Dance at Club Lavender
Alright, it is here. It doesn’t fit with the canon but I was writing this before tonight’s stream so I have a justification. The characters featured in this that are of my creation can be used in Artventure, Leon was created by @missvulpix212 and his name has become canon as of tonight’s stream as everyone who has been present for that knows. I’m not going to lie, this story sucks. I keep forgetting that Maggie is the police chief. Is she? I can’t remember if she is or not. Thank you to the people at @internetremix for giving me something else to write while I write stories that are not Noir inspired. Also on one minor note here, I’m definitely going to need to figure out a way to reconcile this with what is now canon. That seems difficult to me. Also another minor note, the posthumous character of Charles was not actually insane, that is just Edwin’s opinion of him.
District Attorney Richard Capp sat opposite of both Detective Sam McSams and Officer Maggie O’Hera in his office. A man of sixty-five years with a white mustache, Capp wore round eyeglasses, kept his hair slicked back and had a cigarette holder with him at all times. He did not look happy with either of them.
“Neither of you had a warrant for Mr. Carthach’s arrest.” Said Capp, his voice a deep baritone.
“He shot me in the shoulder!” protested Sam.
“You and Officer O’Hera attacked a guest of his, one Lawrence McGee, I am told. It seems that you are both in the wrong… As a candidate for mayor I cannot allow arrests to be made without a warrant, thus have I let him go.”
“McGee was a murderer!” exclaimed Maggie. She could not believe what she was hearing. “Edwin Carthach was harboring him in his house!”
Capp shook his head. He took his cigarettes holder from his mouth and tapped the cigarette’s ash into the ashtray on his desk. “And so you killed Mr. Carthach’s guest? Officer O’Hera, no matter how many murderers you send to Beelzebub it will never bring your partner back… Perhaps if you were fully competent he’d still be alive.”
Maggie clenched her fists and glared at Capp. Her reaction only caused Capp to smile.
Standing outside the office, Edwin Carthach listened and shook his head. Capp was such an asshole. The man might have gotten him out of jail but that didn’t mean Edwin had to like the old bastard.  
Edwin had served in the war and an old war buddy of his was now a criminal. Edwin was an associate of that criminal and that criminal had killed Maggie’s partner. How often had he heard that story? Ten times probably. Edwin didn’t really like hearing it but the criminal had saved his life during the war. On the other hand the man was on the opposite side of the law and being an associate of a gangster was not a good thing. How long until he became targeted by a rival? Would they target his wife?
Upon Maggie’s exit from Capp’s office, Edwin quickly whispered in her ear “You’ll find him at Club Lavender.” And with that Edwin made his own exit, heading for the door only for Maggie to run after him.
“Wait a minute, who are you talking about?”
“The gangster who killed your partner. I wish I could give you a bit more information but he’s got a lethal temper and his right-hand man, to quote others, is meaner than diarrhea.”
Instantly Maggie knew whom Edwin meant. The right-hand man was non-other than Charles “Beret” Cliff, formerly a freelance hit man who had been involved in a massacre a few cities over. So he was working for someone was he? That gave Maggie some idea of who to look for.
Maggie made her way to Club Lavender immediately. It was the only place in Internet City that was the color lavender, hence the name. Even the neon was lavender colored. The founder of the club had been a gangster known as Hackman and he had founded it back during the days of the war. Hackman had been missing for weeks, some said he had left town others said he had been murdered. Maggie didn’t know who now owned the place and upon arrival she made an inquiry to someone who worked there.
Club Lavender did not open until after sunset, that was how it had always been. At this time it was just practice for the dancing girls, dance sing, the piano player would play his piano, if the owner would be in this early was anyone’s guess. It was the piano player that Maggie asked. He was a tall, thin black man by name of Henderson. His answer was: “Vincenzo Nitto.” 
Vincenzo Nitto? That was the gangster that was known as “the Cleaver.” Vincenzo “the Cleaver” Nitto owned the Club Lavender? From one gangster to another… Maggie was finding the belief that Hackman had been murdered very likely. Had the Cleaver been the one to kill her partner? Hackman was unlikely, as Edwin had said she’d find her partner’s killer at the Club Lavender and with Hackman having been missing for weeks he was out of the question.
But what if it was not the Cleaver? All Edwin had said was that Maggie would find her partner’s killer at the Club Lavender. Suppose it was someone who frequented the place. If the killer’s right hand was “Beret” Cliff then what if it was an allied gang leader to the Cleaver and not the Cleaver himself?
How was Maggie supposed to know? She would have to come back later when the Club Lavender was full of people.
Returning to her work, one thing kept going through her mind that day: the night her partner died. The two had decided to take in a movie: “Oliver Twist.” When it was all over, the two went their separate ways but it had not been long until after Maggie’s partner had turned a corner that she heard four gunshots. Maggie ran to the around the corner and found her partner with three bullet wounds in his chest and one in his neck, he was lying beneath a street lamp and his blue cap was lying not far from his head. The killer was gone but her partner… He had not been gone in the metaphorical sense, he still lived but not for long. Maggie fell to her knees and cradled her partner in her arms. He opened his mouth to speak and then life left his body.
Maggie never did find the killer but now with Edwin’s clue maybe she would. “You’ll find him at club Lavender” he had said. He had also stated that the right hand of the guy was “Beret” Cliff so she if she found Beret then she would find the gangster who killed her partner.
Going undercover was what she would have to do and as much as she hated to do it, Maggie would have to wear that dress again.
When night came, Maggie put on that sexy dress in addition to a black wig. She could not risk herself being recognized. After that she drove on down to the Club Lavender.
Entering the club, she listened to the jazz music and the chatter of the patrons. Her eyes darting back and forth, looking for “Beret” Cliff she felt a hand fall upon her shoulder and then heard a familiar voice whisper into her ear: “Wearing the sexy dress again I see. Love the wig, toots.”
It was Sam.
 Maggie tensed and whispered to him: “What are you doing here?”
“I saw you and Carthach getting chummy. I followed him and asked him what you two had been talking about.”
Maggie turned to look at Sam. He was wearing glasses. “Those aren’t Edwin Carthach’s glasses are they?”
“No, no, of course not!”
They were. Maggie knew that Sam had taken Edwin’s glasses, taken them right off his face. His glasses had a particular design to them in that the lenses were shaped like the Double Crown of Egypt. It was an unfortunate part of a will that dictated the owner of the estate had to wear the glasses that Edwin’s grandfather Charles Carthach had thought up. Edwin had been perfectly happy with his round glasses but was thankful that he, his father and grandfather were all nearsighted. Charles Carthach had been a very strange man, right down to his will stating being that he be buried upside down beneath the police station in a baseball bat shaped coffin. His son Irving’s will dictated that he should be cremated and his ashes placed in the base of a statue in the family manor. The night Irving died, Maggie had been there to investigate possible foul play and one of the first questions she had asked Edwin was: “Your dad’s will doesn’t say he has to be buried beneath the station in a bat shaped coffin does it?”
To say that no one noticed someone who was not Edwin Carthach wearing the Carthach family glasses would be untrue. For some, Edwin Carthach was just a name. To one person in the club however, it was the name of an old war buddy but there was someone at Club Lavender who only knew Edwin Carthach as a name but knew the face of Sam McSams.
The band started up a slow song and a singer started singing. There was something terribly familiar about her voice but Maggie and Sam did not have the time to see who it was, to blend in they joined the dancing couples.
Maggie and her partner had once danced together like that. Her heart had been all a flutter when she had danced with him she had been as giddy as a schoolgirl. In fact, she had been a schoolgirl. Those were the days before she had become a cop. Those had been happier days. Those days were long gone and Maggie never knew if she would ever know those days again.
Her eyes searching the crowd, Maggie finally spied “Beret” Cliff sitting with a man that everyone had either heard of or seen: Vincenzo “The Cleaver” Nitto.
Vincenzo “The Cleaver” Nitto was in his mid to late twenties. He was a man of average height with enlarged hands and cheekbones and an enlarged nose. He was wearing a tuxedo like many another male patron of the Club Lavender except he wasn’t just any patron. He was the owner.
 Maggie’s eyes and the Cleaver’s eyes met and immediately their eyes narrowed. The former now knew that the Cleaver had killed her partner and the latter had seen straight through the flimsy disguise of a black wig. The Cleaver’s eyes had always been narrowed having recognized Sam as wearing his old war buddy’s glasses but upon recognizing Maggie his eyes narrowed even more.
Maggie and her partner had been investigating a rising hood. He kept getting higher and higher in the underworld’s hierarchy every month it seemed. A massacre in a garage had been attributed to him, the rubbing out of William Karloff had also been attributed to him and this hood was the person they now knew as the Cleaver, a criminal who had a reputation for carrying out murders himself.
There was one feeling in Maggie’s eyes upon seeing the man who had killed her partner. There was a number of ways of describing it: hate, hatred, loathing, detestation, dislike, distaste, abhorrence, execration, aversion, hostility, enmity, animosity, antipathy, revulsion, disgust, contempt and odium. Whichever word one chose that was the feeling that Maggie felt upon seeing the Cleaver and knowing that he had killed her partner.
The Cleaver pointed at Maggie and Sam while whispering to Beret. The hate in Maggie’s eyes then turned to something else. Call it fear, call it terror, call it fright, call it fearfulness, call it horror, call it alarm, call it panic, call it agitation, call it trepidation, call it dread, call it consternation, call it dismay, call is distress, anxiety, worry, angst, unease, uneasiness, apprehension, nervousness, nerves, perturbation or even foreboding but that was what had replaced the hate in Maggie’s eyes. She and Sam were two and no doubt the Cleaver had many henchmen here in Club Lavender.
“It’s the Cleaver.” Whispered Sam. 
“I know and he recognizes me!” Returned Maggie.
“I can summon the sax gremlins.”
“Times New Roman was one, here we are surrounded. We need to try and avoid a bloodbath for them.”
A tap on Maggie’s shoulder then caused the dancing between her and Sam to end. It was Henderson. “Mr. Nitto would like to see you.” He then looked at Sam and said: “You too.” 
The office of Vincenzo Nitto was, like the rest of the club, lavender colored. On his desk was a picture of him and his infantry during the war. Edwin could be seen, lacking the family glasses but he was unmistakable. His head brought a crescent moon to mind and the only people who had heads that brought crescent moon’s to mind was his family. The Cleaver himself both sat behind his lavender colored desk on a lavender colored chair with his on Maggie. Several henchmen were in the room with him with Beret standing at the Cleaver’s right. Sam and Maggie were both standing before the desk.
“Officer O’Hera…” said the Cleaver in his volcanic tirade, smoked-burnished voice. “I’ve been expecting you for a while. What took you? Had I known you were coming I would have got a party started in your honor…”
“You killed Leon!” exclaimed Maggie pulling a gun and pointing it at Maggie. Immediately, Beret and the henchmen pulled out their own guns and pointed it at Maggie.
The Cleaver could only laugh. “Go ahead, pull the trigger. You shoot me, they shoot you and your little avenging for your dead partner ends up being for nothing.” He then looked at Sam. “Now who the hell are you?”
“He’s Sam McSams!” exclaimed a voice with a Boston accent. Sam and Maggie both turned to see a skeleton in the doorway. It was none other than Times New Roman.
“Oh, him.” The Cleaver lit a cigarette and began to smoke it. “I heard that Edwin shot you in the shoulder. I’d say I wished you had been shot in the heart or the head but even during the war Edwin was never really much of one for killing. He was a bit reluctant to be an officer in the trenches. He always tried to avoid battle and never carried his sidearm unless he had to and never kept it loaded. Guess becoming involved with me has made him better.”
Maggie put her gun away and took a breath before speaking again. “If I can’t kill you I will take you to justice and I will see you hang.”
The Cleaver smiled as he blew some smoke. “Keep telling yourself that, O’Hera. I’ve got some people who would prevent me from ever ending up in such a situation. Do you think you coppers are perfect? Do you think anyone on the side of the law is perfect? Here are the facts, I’ve got police, I’ve got judges, attorneys, I am in more of a position of power than you are right now. So here is some advice, go chase after someone else, you’ll either end up dead or with me free. Now either walk away or die.” He then looked at Sam and said: “And for God’s sake get Edwin’s glasses back to him or I’ll return them to him myself after I’ve had you fitted for a Chicago overcoat.”
Leave Maggie did but silently did she swear. She swore she would see the Cleaver hang one day. She did not care how many times it took. She would see the rope around the Cleaver’s neck and would be there when he either died by a broken neck or by suffocating.
Once more at Carthach Manor, Maggie and Sam with the Sax Gremlin sat opposite of Edwin, looking at his glasses, in his office. Maggie was the first to speak and her words were: “Thank you for telling me who it was even if you didn’t tell me the name.”
“Always knew you’d figure it out.” Edwin got out of his chair and opened the office window. He then hurled the glasses out the window. “Good riddance to my certifiable grandfather’s rubbish, I am changing my family’s name back to what it originally was, I am sending in the order for my grandfather’s body to be reburied here, I am doing so much to wipe his insanity from everything here.” He then turned and said to Sam: “Sorry about the shoulder.”
“Don’t worry about it. Happens all the time.” Sam cracked a smile.
Edwin then looked at the Saxophone Gremlin. “I apologize for kicking you.” The Saxophone Gremlin responded but because Edwin did not understand what she said he was left standing there with a confused look on his face before saying: “And the same to you.”
“Do you know the names of anyone aligned with the law that the Cleaver has on his payroll?” asked Maggie.
“Just one: Richard Capp.”
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internetremix · 5 years ago
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Kristen breaking into I Won’t Say I’m In Love in one of the earlier episodes of ArtVenture put this image in my head and it wouldn’t get out until I drew it. I went back to it recently to improve the shading so, yeah. Here you go.
--
Awww, I’m so flattered you remember this! Love the pose and hair, it’s just a delight to get to see Maggie after so much time. Love the detail of the Muses as the Gremlins! Thanks so much, it’s always great to get Noir fanart! -Kristen
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internetremix · 6 years ago
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will artventure noir be returning this sunday? and will the switching sunday schedule be back?
Artventure Noir will not be returning any time soon.  The four Noirs we did came out extremely well, but they were a bit stressful to make since it tied multiple castmembers down for every sunday in the summer (near impossible, which is why DMP has so many rotating cast members). Also Noir often involved us trying to craft a mystery narrative out of sheer chaos, which is honestly pretty stressful. We’d rather have it end on a high note than have it peter out awkwardly month after month.
I can’t say it’ll never come back, but currently there are no plans for it. We have had ideas for things like audio dramas and I’ve had thoughts for other ways it could work that involve less in-the-moment panic on our part, but we have so many balls in the air we can’t really focus on this one at the moment. Again, not to say we won’t come back one day- we love Maggie, Sams and the gremlins, it’s just not in the cards right now. Sorry and I hope ya’ll understand.
-Kristen
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internetremix · 6 years ago
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Artventure Noir July 29, 2018
Hell Hath No Fury
New Gremlins introduced and McSams in peril? A Railway Rampage!
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internetremix · 6 years ago
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My Artventure Noir OC Edwin Carthach or as he will be reverting his family name to what it used to be, Edwin O'Sullivan. Owner of a museum that is actually on the family property, has some connections to organized crime because a mob boss saved his life, doesn’t like sax gremlins but with me having dreamed up a gremlin named Algae Cake things may change. I’m not proud of the look of this, it is unbelievably bad and looks like a caricature… Actually, lets just say that in universe this is a caricature.
Well I like him, the shape has the potential for a neat character design and he looks friendly! Seems like an interesting idea, Bryan! -Kristen
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bryancroidragon · 6 years ago
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Enter the Gorilla-Suit-Gang
The beginning of a new story arc for my fan fiction for “Artventure Noir”, created by @internetremix. It isn’t much but remember, it is just the beginning. Enjoy.
It was a peaceful night in Internet City. The moon and starts shone down upon the city as for once there was no crime going on. Many a citizen listened to the radio doing all sorts of things. If it was Sams McSams, he was busy getting drunk. If it was Maggie O’Hera, she was doing paperwork at home. If it was a gremlin, then they were doing whatever struck their fancy be it their job or not. No matter who it was, one could not help but feel that what came next was something impossibly strange.
Radio on, smooth jazz music playing, Maggie looked at the paperwork. Missing persons’ cases, kidnappings, murders and then she came to file on a wanted criminal: Kyle Camonte. Camonte was a member of Vincenzo “The Cleaver” Nitto’s gang that, according to Edwin O’Sullivan who had been told by The Cleaver himself, he had loaned to the previous chief of police of Internet City: Maxwell O’Hera, Maggie’s father.
That an Egyptologist and gangster/businessman could have been in the same social circle might have seemed strange but the two had been in the same trench during the war. The Cleaver and had saved Edwin’s life resulting in a whole different story where Maggie and Sams had paid Edwin a call.
Kyle Camonte… The direct killer of Maggie’s beloved Leon… He was one of three people that Maggie wanted to see brought to justice more than anything. The other two were the Cleaver and her own father, both men who had a played a role in Leon’s murder.
Seeing the file with a picture of Camonte, a look of pure unadulterated rage appeared on Maggie’s face. Immediately, she crumpled it up and threw it into her waste paper basket.
The moment the paper landed in the basket, the radio began to play only static. Sighing, Maggie could only wonder what was wrong with the thing now. She only took three steps towards it before a voice that sounded like a poor man’s impression of Elmo Lincoln began speaking.
“Attention, Internet City! We are the Gorilla-Suit-Gang, the greatest menace you have ever known!” Maggie could only stand there and give the radio an odd look. What was this? Was this an advertisement for a new radio program? There had been worse advertisements but this ‘Gorilla-Suit-Gang’ did not sound half as terrifying as the ‘Spider-Gentlewoman’, which admittedly had a bad title but was quite gripping. “Tonight we shall rob the Internet City Bank and this is the challenge we issue to you, Chief Margaret O’Hera! Just try and stop us!” The voice broke out into a maniacal chortle, which was not as frightening as a maniacal laugh, and the radio went silent.
There was no way this was real. Maggie refused to believe something as absurd as this was actually happening. It was just some imitators of that “War of the Worlds” thing that had been playing on the radio. It was just using her name to make it seem more real, this program was just trying to scare people. Why would anyone rob the bank while wearing gorilla suits? Internet City might have been a weird place with the living skeletons and saxophone gremlins but it wasn’t so weird that there would be bank robbers wearing gorilla suits and broadcasting their plans to the entire city.
Turning back to the paperwork, Maggie took one look at the pile and rolled her eyes. It was getting too late for this, she’d continue with it the next day. She was tired it was time to sleep. Maggie walked back over to turn off the radio only for an announcer to say: “Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for that interruption. We do not know how it happened but please know that this Gorilla-Suit-Gang is in no way associated with Internet City Radio, it is not a new radio program… Also, if Edwin O’Sullivan would be so kind as to give us answer to our asking him to be a consultant for our new program ‘In the Days of Ancient Egypt’, that would be much obliged. It has been six months and we still haven’t gotten answer. As Internet City’s premier Egyptologist you would be—“
Maggie turned off the radio. It looked like she wouldn’t be getting any sleep that night.
When she opened the door of her apartment Maggie found a small gremlin, slightly below the average gremlin height, that had a left leg that was shorter than the right and a right shoulder that was higher than the left. He was dapperly dressed with five gold buttons on his jacket and he was wearing a top hat. It was the prankster Algae Cake and he had been in the process of covering the patch of floor outside of Maggie’s apartment with glue.
Maggie stood there for a whole minute until Algae Cake realized that the door was open and that she was standing right there. When he finally looked up to see Maggie standing before him, all she could say to him was: “Algae Cake, where have you been?” After that little adventure involving Lorenzo Deutsch capturing her and Sams no one had seen Algae Cake since he found a discarded umbrella and ended up getting blown away by a gust of wind, which had been three weeks ago.
“A place… With a name… It was somewhere… And it was not Internet City.” From the vague description, Algae Cake sounded as if he had been blown out of the city by the gust of wind. In actuality, he ended up landing in the zoo’s capybara exhibit. Maggie stepped over the glue then knelt down and picked up Algae Cake who then began to give an alarmed squeal and exclaim: “No, I don’t want to go to jail! I’ll be a good gremlin, I promise!”
Shaking her head with a grin, Maggie just carried Algae Cake out of the apartment and put him down on the sidewalk once they were out. “I’m going to protect the bank from the Gorilla-Suit-Gang, you go… Do something else.” And with that Maggie left to get to the Internet City Bank while Algae Cake began scheming to fill the drawers of the police headquarters with oranges.
To be continued…
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internetremix · 6 years ago
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so UH during the artventure Noir stream, the Bad Trio was made! The Butcher, The Baker, and The Candlemaker.
I made this design for the baker, not expecting them to be used in the same stream- but they WAS. so uh.. this is just a concept thing you could use it if you like
her name’s Eliza Scone! and her gremlin assistant, Churro! its not a self insert I SWEAR
A very cute design, I love the dress!
-Kristen
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