#artoo threepio chewie finn n leia | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

he wasn’t there when the princess of aldreaan left the galaxy forever & always --- general leia organa , oh , she had many titles throughout her long life but the only one that seemed to matter was his wife . no , he’d gone to aid rey , finn , poe . . . & ben . leave it to his mother to push him towards the light --- & light she was , like her brother she’s reunited with in between the cosmos & the horizon . he hadn’t been there beside her like he’d promised he would always , but OH , he’d felt her leave . force mumbo jumbo or not . it wasn’t like an exhale hitting cold air or a lingering grip around fingers . . . it was pure agony . worse than any beating he’d suffered , worse than a THOUSAND blasts , worse than the burning cold carbonite prison . he hadn’t screamed or sobbed or crumpled to the ground in anguish . not then & there . he’d spent the route home at a simmer in his pilot’s seat , jaw squared & knuckles white because dammit he wouldn’t allow himself to slip .

he remained this way before her now , painfully so . that damned sheet done away with , she almost appears to be asleep . peaceful . just the way he’s awoken beside her each day for over forty years . sure , wrinkles crease her skin , but she’s just as fair as the day she DOVE into that trash chute . like the rest of him , han’s smile is tight . WONDERFUL GIRL , he’d said . EITHER I’M GONNA KILL HER OR I’M BEGINNING TO LIKE HER . . . YA’ THINK A PRINCESS ‘N A GUY LIKE ME . . . ? a laugh sounds . but it hurts . it hurts , it hurts .

“ oh , sweetheart . . . ” fingers curl to caress her cheek as he’s done so many times before . “ we didn’t know what the hell we were gettin’ into , did we ? ” a sniff . a thousand stinging needles behind his eyes . “ but it was good . it was real good . -- you would’a called me a SAP jus’ then . would’a laughed . i always did like gettin’ a laugh outta’ ya’ . ” withered features fall , becoming even more so . his voice breaks & he hates it . “ please laugh . ” nothing . he’s always thought there’d be a whole lotta’ that after you die , but NOW , he hopes & prays to whatever higher power that puppets the universe that there’s something --- anything . he can’t NOT see her again , can’t not see luke . he can’t be the only one left for the rest of his days . “ you made me better , leia . made me a husband . ‘n a father --- only things i’ve EVER been proud of in my life . ” his sigh trembles , hand atop hers . it’s cold . “ fer’ so long you ‘n luke ‘n chewie . . . even artoo ‘n threepio were the only family i had . ‘n sweetheart , i’m so glad i swallowed my pride ‘n stayed . ” a beat . thumb runs along familiar digits as if to warm them . “ i stayed fer’ you . . . alright , fer’ luke too , but . . . i couldn’t keep away from you if i tried . ”

he doesn’t know when the tears started but they won’t stop , now . they’re silent ; he doesn’t BOTHER blinking them away . all he sees is her when he closes his eyes . her smile . determined doe eyes that adored him so . her at their wedding & flushed cheeks once the sun fell ; her with a tiny bundle in her arms , how she said his name no matter how annoyed , her . her . her . his shoulders are shaking his chest is collapsing & he can’t stop it . “ leia . . . i don’t know what i’m gonna do without you here . truth is , i need you . always have . always will . ” when han sighs , his chest aches . he presses a kiss to her knuckles before gently resting her hand back down , leans to kiss her forehead . “ be with luke , sweetheart . be with your mother , your father . i love you --- i know that you know . i love you so much . ”

his last look is the same as his very first . only this time , he walks away alone .