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hms-no-fun · 3 years ago

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have you ever put something truly hidden in godfeels? a code or something maybe. if yes has anyone found it? (fully expecting a :) here /lh)

"truly hidden" is a funny way of putting it. of course there's stuff i've hinted that people have either completely missed or wildly over/under/mis-interpreted. of course there's stuff i put in knowing full well that no one would have the context to understand until way way later down the line.

but is there anything hidden in CODE? something you could SOLVE? alas, as much as i enjoyed the classic ARGs --your i <3 bees, your LOST experiences, your i'm da joker babys (or whatever they called the one for the dark knight)-- i'm just not that galaxy brained. i gave dan brown, author of the davinci code, some credit in a previous ask, and i want to take a moment to really kick some dirt on that credit. because the man loves to hide puzzles in his books and like, idk dude, i guess that's cool? but he acts like cryptography or art history or whatever else can be coalesced into these enlightened knowledge bases that result in a sort of intellectual ubermensch (played by none other than tom hanks) in whose shadow we are meant to feel like dumb idiot babies. it's kinda the fiction equivalent of silicon valley guys who act like writing an algorithm qualifies you to solve world hunger. or like when neil gaiman just will not shut up about how magical and important and universe-shattering books are. yeah dude i'm reading one right now, but i am in fact still impoverished-

hold on what the fuck was i

oh right. i think this kind of thing can play a really fascinating role in a story IF the story is built to accommodate them (house of leaves might be a good example here). godfeels ain't that kind of story, and frankly i'm not that kind of writer. there are mysteries in this narrative, and there may yet even turn out to be honest to god investigations of those mysteries (but what the fuck would i know about that), but if i'm obscuring information i want it obscured for everyone. i don't like the idea of hiding some key piece of information (or, worse, a completely irrelevant piece of information) behind a puzzle of some kind, in part because EVERY TIME a story does this people always solve them way faster than the creators expected, and because in practice i was never the person who solved those puzzles, i just sorta marveled at other people figuring shit out and went "oh that's neat i guess." i can appreciate the ingenuity and the craftsmanship that goes into pulling something like that off, but deep down i always felt a little bit left behind by virtue of lacking any relevant expertise, or just plain not being fast enough on the draw.

there's a couple things that some people HAVE figured out that i've remained silent on. i know some creators are really cagey about this stuff and like to uphold an air of mystery about their work, and while i certainly respect that, i, uh, i kind of, ummm, well i kinda can't ignore how many of those fandoms turned into a fucking hate-filled cannibalistic viper's nest. and i just don't think there's anything particularly magical or mysterious about writing a good story. does it ruin the mystique of the pyramids to know they were built by human hands with extremely simple tools? i've never understood the "i don't want to know how the sausage gets made" attitude because even art made exclusively by one person was made through a process of conversations the artist had with their entire upbringing and the world they lived in. for instance i'm very upfront about how the direction of 3.1 changed in response to how much my own life fell into chaos during the summer of 2021 because, like, what's the point of pretending that it was ALWAYS the plan for things to go the way they did?

i prefer to demystify the creation process because i absolutely do not want people to trick themselves into thinking that i'm some kind of Adverbly Noun. i'm not. good writing, same as anything else produced by humans, isn't an alchemy of great minds. it's a toolset, a practice, a discipline, and while it's one that you largely must discover for yourself, one that can both feel as a writer and appear as a reader to be nothing less than something from nothing, it's imperative we remember that this is a magic trick. anyone can do it if they put in the work.

so yeah, i like to confirm when people are right about things UNLESS i feel that the textual reveal will be more impactful or fun without that confirmation swimming around. i've also broken kayfabe more than once to say, "no, you guys are completely off base" when it felt like the tack they were taking was so opposed to my actual intended direction that it would be harmful to let the possibility go unchallenged. i don't think this affects how readers address the text, because regardless of my own demystification efforts the text itself (if reception is to be believed) at least SEEMS to carry all its own water just fine. but if i said, yes, there is a secret puzzle that you can solve, that opens the floodgates and completely alters how the audience views the text. now they're constantly on the lookout for More Puzzles, so much so that they might not even be reading it as a story anymore. that's the last thing i want, because to some extent i think that's what happened to homestuck proper very early on, and that's why we now have at least two camps of homestuck fans who seem to remember COMPLETELY different comics.

there is stuff you can figure out contextually, right, if you're really observant. i think you can figure out with above average certainty, for instance, Where Lenore Is From if you read all her lines and look at the job she has... and have also read one or two other prominent homestuck fanworks. and if you've accepted that revelation, you might then be able to draw some other conclusions about this universe. but it's not ESSENTIAL information, you know? i don't want you to be able to figure out the entire plot of godfeels 3 this early on.

i know this was a long tangential answer to what you probably thought was a silly throwaway question but, well, that's me innit

#homestuck #godfeels #writing advice #i guess #sarahposts

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soldrawss · 4 years ago

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Could you please post more of your lovely wholesome Rottmnt content? Your AUs are golden and I’m sure all of us would appreciate, love and cherish anything you give us.

I’m ALWAYS down for posting some ROTTMNT AU content, thank you so much for your sweet words and the chance to bombard you with more of my au stories. (You didn’t specify which rottmnt content so I’m taking artistic liberty and answering with BBM content) He’s another little story I wrote for my Big Brother Mikey AU. (Zach had asked if Raph ever outgrows Mikey because he’s genetically built like a freaking tank and I not only said yes, but Leo and Donnie eventually outgrow him too, and then this short was born)

So Mikey's not like, TALL by any means. At around 20 he reached his peak height of 5'7, and that was that. But for a good portion of their childhoods, he was the tallest. Only naturally so, since he was the oldest.

But then the twins turned 16 and hit a goddamn growth spurt and shot up like vines from a fairy tale and effectively outgrew Mikey. Which Mikey saw coming... sorta...

The twins had been around his height for a while, so it wasn't too surprising when the day finally came that Mikey, as he was standing in the kitchen making some scrambled egg tacos, noticed Leo walk up beside him and reach for the stash of chocolate peppermint bark that Mikey had to use a stepstool to stash up on the top shelf, (He hid them up there from their Christmas holiday party because Raph and Donnie had kept eating them to the point of getting sick) and Mikey finally thought, "oh my god, there goes my best treat hiding place". And sure enough, when he forced the twins to stand by the hallway wall, (where they had all their heights measured with color-coded crayon lines, something they used to do as kids with their dad that Mikey didn't really grow out of continuing despite all the times they've moved) the blue and purple lines had overtaken the orange line as the tallest height.

And it was a little bittersweet, Mikey DEFINITELY teared up about it despite Leo and Donnie giving him hugs and teasing him good-naturedly about it, but it was a good bittersweet. Leo and Donnie were growing up. They weren't the fierce and protective kids they used to be, guarded with nervous and untrusting anger that kept cultivating in their unstable childhoods. An anger that was almost seemed second hand, there without them having to reach for it, and Mikey used to lose sleep over hoping that they wouldn't feel like the world was against them forever. He hoped they could be kids for a long as they could be, much longer than he ever had the chance to be.

They were so small, they'd always been so small. Born a month and a half premature, and tiny in Mikey's already small 7-year-old arms. He figured they'd always be that small, always fit right there, perfectly in the circle of his arms.

They still do, but not in the fearful and sheltered and scared way they used to. Not in the perfect way that made Mikey seem bigger than life, and able to shelter them from the worst of the world’s hurt and pain and cold.

Now it's with a bounce in their step and a wry smile on their lips and a contented sigh in the mornings on their way to school, and Mikey lifts his arms up because how DARE they think they can just sneak off to do cool teenager things and not give their embarrassingly affectionate big brother a hug goodbye. And they sorta crouch now, bending over so that Mikey can wrap his arms around them, but they do it, and it feels right, and they hug back just as hard and Mikey is thankful they didn't outgrow this. Mikey isn't upset when the twins grew taller than him. But it's a completely different story with Raph. Because Raph was always a big kid. He was a brick as a baby. Round with baby fat and soft cheeks that Mikey used to blow fat raspberries into to make him giggle and no matter how big he got, he was never too big for Mikey to carry around and hold in his arms forever. At least, that's what Mikey thought, anyway. He didn't notice when Raph stopped jumping into his open arms whenever he got home, not at first. Racing like he had something to prove from wherever he was in their little apartment complex to meet Mikey at the door with a tackling hug to Mikey's middle with all the force of a runaway freight train. Mikey never stumbles or falls back from the familiar weight, because he knows, like he knows all the freckles on Raph's nose and all the curls in his baby brother's hair, that he'll always be there to catch him no matter what, so it was never something Mikey was consciously aware of. And sure, maybe he's a little aware of Raph's growth, but again, Raph was always a big kid. Mikey was always buying him new clothes and shoes, because he either ripped or outgrew his old ones, and he never quite fit into Leo's or Donnie’s or Mikey's quite right. It isn't until Raph's in 8th grade, and he's coming home with a note for Mikey to read about him joining the football team as a freshman come the next school year, and the coach want's Raph to do summer training with the rest of the team, that Mikey has to take a step back because WHAT? Raph is a baby, no WAY is he ready to play football what on EARTH is the coach thinking. It isn't until LH, after hearing Mikey complain about it to him later that night, "Because I don't know El. Raph was pretty excited about it, but Football is whole worlds dangerous. Weren't you just telling me last week about the statistics on brain damage and the correlation it has with contact sports like football? And how that damage is permanent? Raph could get hurt, like SERIOUSLY hurt. I don't know WHAT the coach is thinking putting a Freshman on a varsity team," tells Mikey, "Well, I mean, look at him, Mike. Kid's built like a brick wall. He could probably take a few hits better than some of the seniors can," that Mikey finally looks at Raph and REALLY looks at him. Because,,, yeah ok, Raph IS built like a brick wall. 13 years old and suddenly he's a whole head taller than Mikey and about as big as 4 of him and WOAH when did Mikey's baby brother, this kid, HIS kid, the only one Mikey will ever have, the one he raised since he was 12 year's old, and holding to his chest, shielding from a pot of boiling water, get too big to hold to his chest anymore. Too big to shield. And Mikey has to sit down and not have a panic attack because oh no oh god oh no. All his brothers, all his little brothers, that Mikey put his EVERYTHING into raising, providing, protecting, are suddenly not so little anymore. Not so in need of protection anymore.

Donnie was off in grad school, getting a billion degrees and doctorates because he was smart enough to do everything and anything, and Leo was on a basketball scholarship at NYU, full ride, and he's skating through life on charm and smarts and innate talent to turn everything he touches into gold and Raph is 13, but he's already getting offers to be a centerline guard on a football team at a high school he doesn't even attend yet, and coming home shining bright and brilliant because of it, the same way he comes home after acing a bio test or landing another lead role in his theatre club and suddenly they don't NEED Mikey anymore.

They don't need him like they used to, and certainly not in a way Mikey needs them. Because they're growing up. Growing into their own people, with their own lives, and it's exactly what Mikey wanted, of COURSE, it is. Mikey used to kill himself, working days and nights and holidays and THEN some, working on borrowed time he didn't give to himself, to make sure that his brothers GOT the opportunity to grow like this. To be the magnificent and amazing people they were always meant to be, despite the situation the world put them in. But Mikey has only ever lived, really, for his brothers. Mikey never let himself have anything. He always gave it to his brothers, freely and willingly. But now that his brothers don't need him anymore, what's there left of Mikey? What was Mikey supposed to do now? Mikey stopped growing at 20, but his brothers kept growing and getting bigger and brighter and outshining the universe, and when Mikey wasn't looking, he thinks they got too big from little him anymore. (Cue an existential crisis from Mikey at age 28, where LH and Raph call Leo and Donnie at college, to come down and have an intervention with Mikey because OF FUCKING COURSE THEY DIDN'T OUT GROW HIM ARE YOU KIDDING??? Mikey will always be their big brother and they'll ALWAYS need him. Maybe not need him the same way they did when they were kids. But they'll still need his weekend phone calls, and daily cat videos sent in the group chat, and kisses to their temples and pillow fights on the nights Leo and Donnie spend a weekend home and warm hugs and warm breakfast casserole and the constant "I love you"’s that wouldn't fill their hearts the same way if it came from anyone other than their big brother. And Leo and Donnie are 21 and are tall enough to be trees, and Raph is 16 and can bench press all of them if he tried, and Mikey will never be taller than his little brothers again. But they'll never be too big for Mikey's hugs or love. They'll never be big enough where they won't need their big brother. Mikey is the only thing that they’ll never outgrow.)

#my fic #big brother mikey au #bbm au #rottmnt #rottmnt human #rottmnt human au #tmnt #rise of the tmnt #tmnt human #at age 28 mikey is 5'7 #at age 21 leo and donnie are 5'11-6 foot respectfully #at 16 raph is 6'2 #april is 28 and 5'6 #and LH towers over all of them at 31 and 6'5 #and that's the family babes

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