#art is fun and it always made me feel better about myself now i miss that so much i miss my attempts to be better to learn more

[aishakami]

Hi everyone i am Aisha and im an artist i know i haven't post in a long long time,

but i used to draw, i was in a long hiatus because a lot happened in the past two years

a lot more than i can explain (family drama heart breaks relations ends career failures...ect)

i am sorry i havent update in a long time i didnt have the mental capacity to come back and i miss being around fandom spaces

it was my only escape, now i am nervous bc im sure a lot have forgot me already

i cant blame you for this, i am a stranger person now i get it but anyway hi...i want to comeback...

[musical-chick-13]

You know, when I was 21-22, my writing was...okay. It was serviceable enough for what I needed it to do, but it wasn't great by any stretch of the imagination. But I remember thinking it was just THE best thing ever, and I gotta say I was a lot happier with that outlook.

[chamoemileclown]

What’s parkour civilization? I feel like I’ve never heard it before this week, but everyone’s making art of it rn. Did I miss something???

Parkour Civilization or pkc is something that gained a lot of traction on twitter sometime around the end of last week (maybe like october 2nd or 3rd i’d like to say) and it’s sort of spreading to here so here’s a really quick run down on pkc and some discussion on why its super popular all of a sudden. vv

Parkour Civilization is a series of minecraft roleplay videos by Youtuber @/Evbo that were originally released in 10-15 minute segments but later compiled as longer videos on his channel.

The series is about Evbo living in a world where everything he has to do is parkour related. If he wants a house he has to do parkour tricks, if he wants food he has to jump for it, if he wants to better his life and level up from a parkour noob to a parkour pro he has to do a parkour course. To add some risk it all happens over the void so there’s always some risk Evbo could fall and die at any time.

It’s not crazy special story wise and the series doesn’t treat itself seriously. It knows it’s a silly premise and I think that’s why a lot of people like it. I’m sick right now and I watched it because it was something fun to watch while I couldn’t do much else and by not being too serious it made me not expect certain things from it. If any of this sounds interesting id recommend giving it a watch.

I think it blew up like it did because of the intro of the first episode was a good hook for what pkc is. Evbo is given a choice between a hard parkour jump for some raw beef or an easy jump for raw chicken. Evbo goes on to say nobody jumps for the beef because it’s really not worth the risk and then watches his one remaining neighbor jump for it and fail, jumping into the void.

It right off the bat introduces you to the world and its mechanics and sets up a silly tone. It’s a format people can easily apply to a bunch of different memes/ their favorite media. It’s something you can easily reference and even if you don’t know the source material you can understand the concept.

pkc had viewers even before it blew up but a lot of the memes drew in new viewers which spawned in fanart which brings in even more viewers and that’s why it may seem like it came out of the blue.

I’m sort of hoping this is the new wave of minecraft content since we really haven’t had anything like this since 2020 and I think we’re overdue for a new era. A lot of people (including myself) thought this would come with the qsmp last year but I think it’s good that we’re getting some fresh faces in the mcyt ecosystem.

Here’s Evbo’s channel if you are interested, he’s currently working on a pvp civilization series which i haven’t really checked out yet but I hope to see more cool stuff out of him.

[sumicchin]

CHIMES OF THE HEART

❃ a wind breaker (satoru nii) reader insert.

CHAPTER 4

Violence is the answer to everything in this world (not really). (3.3k words)

content warning: female reader, original characters, character background, slight ooc i fear

When I was little, I often found myself looking forward to the sound of the wind chime as it danced with the breeze. It was fairly quiet inside the shrine when it was just Hayami, me, and a man named Sojiro while waiting for the officiants to inhabit the divine structure.

Furin was my only companion—acting as if its bell were telling me stories from the outside world. It's been there ever since I could remember, and no one bothered to place another one.

Just like the wind chime, I was alone.

While the grownups worked, I occupied myself with little tasks that my stubby fingers could manage. Sometimes I took out a book they had in the study and ran to the adults to ask what certain words meant. I became more involved with the shrine as I grew older, not as a Miko, but just as a random helper. 

I was essentially free to do what I wanted. So when I was 10, I expressed my wish to venture out of the shrine.

"Hey, old man," I greeted Sojiro, tending to the flowers near the statues. His head perked up upon hearing my voice and greeted me back. As odd as it sounded, Sojiro wanted me to call him that way despite his youthful appearance.

"Hi there, little miss," Sojiro says as he stands up to face me, "what's today's agenda?"

For as long as I can remember, Hayami and Sojiro have been caring for me since. I haven't really asked about their relationship, or who my parents were since there was no need to do so. I was fine with how things were for the past couple of years, but the books I read and my trips to the market while accompanying Hayami made me yearn for more.

And so I was determined to confront them that day.

I showed him the book I was carrying. Kusamakura by Natsume Soseki.

Not really something a ten-year-old would read, but I had nothing better to do in this shrine.

"Oh, that's one of Hayami's favorite novels," Sojiro says. "An artist sets on a journey in search of beauty and inspiration for life and art. It's a simple read but very worth it to understand what it's like to be an artist." The man beams, totally lost in his thoughts. I let out a sigh, "That's not what I came for, old man."

"Ah, my bad! You know I get too excited about stuff like that." Sojiro laughs and pats my head, "So, let's cut to the chase. You want to go outside, right?" He chuckles as soon as my face contorts to that of a shocked expression. Sojiro is a man full of secrets.

"H-how'd you know?"

He shows me his infamous grin with eyes closed, "It's a secret power of mine!"

He pats my head, ruffling it in the process, "But sorry kiddo, we can't really make that happen." Already rejected before I could speak the speech I prepared. "Hayami will explain to you once you're older, but right now you have to stay here, 'kay? Think of it as a special mission given by the gods!" I was about to sulk and curse whoever made that decision when Sojiro perked up, "But hey that reminds me! The priest decided to assign you as bodyguard for the Mikos." I let out an audible sound of confusion, telling him I barely knew how to throw a punch. The best I could do was to bite someone like a sewer rat.

"That's why I'm gonna train you starting tomorrow!"

By sheer determination and fear of being on the receiving end of Sojiro's sword and fist (both hurt equally), I became a competent bodyguard for the officiants at the age of 14.

"The wind feels very nice, doesn't it (F/n)?" Manami, one of the older Mikos, glances at the fully bloomed cherry blossom trees by the river.

"Yeah, pretty lucky we got to go out today!" I excitedly say. Becoming the bodyguard for the Mikos allowed me to at least go out more often. It was always fun accompanying the women of the shrine outside, teaching me all sorts of stuff that can't be picked up from books.

"The priest doesn't really trust outsiders let alone men to protect the girls, so he's hoping to rely on us, (F/n)." I recalled Sojiro's words on our first day of training. It was a day full of bruises, and many more came after that but the strength I currently possess made it all worth it. I find myself more comfortable fighting with a sword though, and Sojiro encourages me to keep at my training.

I established one rule as a bodyguard.

To never take someone's life.

The two of us continue talking, heading back to the steps leading to the shrine after buying gifts from the market. We were a few blocks away from returning to our refuge, until I felt a tug on my hakama's left sleeve.

"What is it, Manami?"

"Can we maybe, stay outside for a bit longer?" She timidly asks.

"But we promised to only go to the market," I reluctantly answered, but seeing her crestfallen face made me double take. I guess she's just tired of Miko duties...

"It's just for a moment, I promise! There's something I need to see."

She leads me to a shop that sold fireworks and the like.

"I'd like to get one of these for summer!"

I watched as she hurriedly went inside the shop, already browsing the many varieties of explosives. How do we hide the fireworks from Hayami and the priest, I deadpan.

I was too occupied with my thoughts, but I know for one someone in black just went past me. Still bothered by how I'm supposed to hide the fact we went somewhere other than the market, the scream of a woman registered late to me.

I hurriedly ran inside the shop and saw a dark-haired man in a suit dangerously near Manami.

"Let her go!" I yell as I grab the hilt of my sword.

Upon closer inspection, it became clear that the man was actually just a tall teenager from his features. He must be an artistocrat or something.

"Please fight outside my shop!" The shop owner yells to no avail.

"Are you cosplaying a samurai?" The boy hums, letting go of Manami. She stumbles back but was helped by the store owner. "She took the last sparkler I wanted to buy," he says mockingly while approaching me.

"But I've lost interest now." His tone suddenly drops, approaching slowly as he inspects me and my sword—and to say I'm frightened is an understatement. I've fought many men before, but his aura screamed something awfully dangerous.

I knew right then and there I'll die if I try fighting him.

"Is that sword for real? Must be serious business, huh?" he grins as he points at my sword.

I scoffed, "Wanna see for yourself?"

"Fine with me..." He raises his right arm, my grip on my sword's hilt and scabbard tightening, "been wanting to take out someone armed."

He swiftly tried to go for my neck, but I nearly blocked him with my sword, the blunt edge of the blade near my cheek and the sharper side near the man's wrist. "Don't move a muscle, or the blade will cut you."

His lips twitch, but not so much to pass as a grin, "I'll look forward to that."

Even though I tried resisting, his strength overpowered me by the end and I lost control over my blade. I stared helplessly as my sword fell to the ground, waiting for his fist to strike me. It

"You're interesting! Let's meet again when we're a bit older." He pats my shoulder, walking out of the store. "How about when we're both 16, 'kay?"

He walked unscathed out of the store as I scrambled towards Manami who was shaken.

She and I swore to never talk about the incident ever.

It was then that I realized I'm still weak.

Was I even fit to protect others?

Although I never wished to encounter that man again, the world had different plans for me.

Turns out he was just the start of this madness, and there were more to follow.

❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋

You watch the boy from across the room as he sleeps peacefully, just like a child after throwing a fit. That night, he established social distancing before heading to bed, saying he didn't want to accidentally do stuff he'd regret in his sleep.

It was painfully obvious that he was nervous the whole night, stiff as a rock and barely breathing. He eventually (and with difficulty) fell asleep though, thankfully. Sakura would probably stay asleep for a couple more hours, so you decided to get a head start and freshen up for the day.

You unfold the piece of clothing that served as a makeshift pillow last night, recognizing that this is what Sojiro called a hoodie. It smelled very minty and upon checking the pockets, you see some suckers with different flavors. These look really good...

This must belong to Sakura, but no harm in trying it out right? The hoodie, that is. You've had enough of stealing's someone's food. The apparel was obviously loose and too big, but it makes one admire the craftsmanship with how warm and comfortable it felt. 

He told you that night that his friends brought in food and clothes, so you excitedly checked the bag. It's filled with clothes that you used to dream of trying out, too tired of the usual hakama back at the shrine. Nothing bad about being traditional, but seeing vibrant colors and patterns other than flowers and birds makes you feel all giddy inside.

One of the shirts had a drawing of a white cat with a red ribbon. This character often appeared in the teen magazines Sojiro brought back from trips. Why he bought them is beyond you (it's so that you can check out what girls your age like, he says).

This is super adorable! You think while holding the shirt.

The bumpkin has now been in contact with Sanrio characters.

Taking out pants that you think fits the shirt with the white cat, you find the bathroom to freshen up and change.

If Hayami saw you right now, she'd probably start calling you out for looking scandalous. A huge part of your legs and thighs were exposed, and the shirt definitely hugged the torso a bit too much to what I'm you're to, but the cute design is too much to pass up on.

Styling your hair in your preferred way to complete the new look, you step out of the bathroom, seemingly trying your best to fit in with the folks of this city (and accordingly to the magazines).

It seems that Sakura is still out cold. Worriedly, you approached his figure hunched in a fetal position to check his temperature. Your face neared his and touched your foreheads together. Upon contact, it didn't seem like he was ill, but after a few seconds he began heating up rapidly.

You were greeted by his heterochromatic eyes, too wide for someone who was just sleeping moments ago. Didn't this happen already?

"W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" He stammers, backing to a wall behind him.

"Checking your temperature, what else? You were out cold for a while."

He wipes his forehead rapidly like you spread germs on it. Rude.

"Aren't you the sick one here? Stop worrying about me, damn it!"

You unknowingly pout and look at the floor, "I was just worried." Rolling your eyes towards him, he looks away in return.

He clicks his tongue, refusing to look you in the eye. Is he allergic to affection or something?

"So much for a morning call." You stretch, standing up to head out. "I'm feeling all better now, can we go outside?"

"Someone's gonna pay you a visit, so sit your ass down!" He turns on his phone and starts swiping his fingers.

Nirei

Sent a sticker [good morning!].

Suo

Sent a sticker [happy wake up].

Kiryu

Sent a sticker [cat wake up].

Tsugeura

Sent a sticker [muscle ohayo!]

Nirei

Suo and I will be visiting!

Sugishita

Seen

Sakura sees the group chat for his class, then checks out the ones his upperclassmen sent.

Kaji

bring my hoodie to school i cant drop by cuz of errands

Tsubaki

Good morning!

I'll be visiting after school with Kanji and the twins~

Umemiya

Morning!

Kotoha and I will visit soon!

Breakfast is on me!

···

He sees Bofurin's leader still writing another message and waits for it. When it does get sent, he suddenly gets conscious.

Umemiya

Kotoha hopes you're wearing something other than a shirt and boxers, she says!

Sakura immediately looks at himself and suddenly whips his head towards you.

"How come you didn't tell me I was just wearing boxers in front of 'ya the whole time?!"

You blink repeatedly, "You were bothered by that? If it makes you feel better, I've seen uncles only in their loincloths."

He turns red and immediately scrams to the bathroom to check for his used pants.

❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋

"Wow, so this is your school uniform?"

Sakura comes out of the bathroom in his iconic green gakuran and pants, acting smug and proud to be wearing symbolic garments. You clapping and looking with amazement just made his head bigger, saying stuff like "Woah, so trendy!" and "You look like a model!"

A knock on the door interrupted the duo's little fashion show, with Sakura heading towards the door to invite his guests.

He sees Umemiya, Suo, Nirei, and Kotoha all carrying bags.

"Morning, Sakura!" Everyone followed suit with their morning greetings, taking off their shoes as they entered his apartment.

"Oh! Looks like our little ghost has recovered now," Umemiya smiles as he takes a seat in front of you. "I'm Umemiya Hajime, but you can call me big bro if you'd like!" He beams.

He starts rummaging the bag he brought out, "Hope you like soup and omurice!"

Kotoha approaches you and waves hello, to which you bow in reply. She was taken aback, saying there was no need to be formal. "Kotoha is fine! And the clothes look really good on you!" She starts gushing about taking you to the shopping district with someone named Tsubaki, happy to have another female companion.

"We've brought you some snacks, courtesy of the class!" Nirei shows you the contents of the bag filled with unfamiliar bags, "O-oh! I'm Nirei Akihiko by the way. If you need help navigating Makochi, I'm your guy!"

The last of the visitors wore an eye patch and felt immensely mysterious, boasting quite the powerful aura. Thinking about it, three of them held overwhelming auras, Umemiya's in particular was overflowing. You didn't notice that you were staring too hard at the eye-patched boy.

"My name is Leonardo DiCaprio!"

Oh! A foreigner, you beamed.

"Don't fall for that, (F/n)!" Sakura points accusingly at Suo, "That guy's Hayato Suo, make sure you're extra careful around him."

"You wound me, Sakura. I thought we were friends," Suo fakes a sigh. "And you're on a first name basis with her."

Sakura blushes, "That's her first name?!"

Nirei realizes and hides his face using his notebook, feeling giddy to have another female friend on a first name basis, "I-it feels really embarrassing to be on a first name basis already!"

"You already gave her your lap yesterday, a name is nothing at this point," Suo chuckles.

You think for a bit, and it reminds you that everyone back at the shrine never mentioned a family name. Gods, am I adopted? Am I the next Momotaro?

"I don't know my parents, and no one really told me about other stuff about them."

Everyone stops and looks at you with a somber expression.

Umemiya lets out a loud wail, eyes comically tearing as he tries to go in for a hug, "Ume-nii and Kotoha over here will be your family then!!!"

Nirei feels himself tear up as well, unable to imagine living a life without knowing who his parents were. Suo's face remained neutral, mouth forming a line and unable to say something to lift the mood.

Sakura on the other hand just stares at you, eyes soft and looking as if he sees himself in you.

"But don't worry about me! I still grew up with caring adults," your smile falters for a bit, wondering how Hayami and Sojiro were faring after your escape. "Let's all eat! Big day ahead of us."

Kotoha begins handing out soup and takeout omurice, "What happened to you anyways? If you don't mind me asking,"

You choke on a potato, clearing your throat before speaking, "Oh uh...I made an enemy out of an aristocrat, he decided to marry me or else he'll destroy my home, but my caretakers wanted me to run away, and now I am searching for something here in this town. Yes, I think that accounts for everything so far!"

"That's quite the story." She says, not sure if she was concerned or amused.

Suo pieces the situation in his head, "I assume that's why you were in a white kimono." Everyone realizes and looks at him, "Do you think your husband will search for you?"

You correct Suo, saying you're technically not wed yet. He mutters a small apology. "I don't want to get married to a man like him."

They all feel the spite and anger behind your words.

You look sternly at everyone, "It's also why I needed to get away from everyone as soon as possible. I fear I'll get you all caught up in this mess."

Everyone hears a scoff from Sakura who was gulping down food just earlier, now looking at you with a smirk.

"Thanks for telling me bits of your story," he puts down his now finished bowl of soup and omurice.

"We just gotta beat up that guy, right?"

changed the writing style for a bit, hope its okay (⁠；⁠^⁠ω⁠^⁠）

[burning-academia-if]

Hi again. If you've been around a while you're probably going to be like "Em, again??" But guess who got sick for the 6th time this year and this time it was a full on chest infection!! It has been three weeks, and somehow I am still Not Free!!

Anyway, BA fell to the wayside this month because it was Velox Fabula time and I've yet to miss a Velox jam (also...chest infection). I also needed to get my sudden and newfound Pirates of the Caribbean obsession out of the way so! I made a short pirate visual novel for the jam and I'm normal again. I also released the prologue of my side IF To Taste Sweet Silver (@sweetsilver-if) just to have it out. Feel free to check it out if you want, but it likely won't be updated for a while as I'm shifting gears back to BA for September!

I don't have much to report but:

UI update should be out in the next week or two depending on how I'm feeling. It won't look like much to y'all since it's more for my sake via cleaning up the code LOL but there were things added (friendship indicators, open dyslexic font option, character page updated, stat page updated, glossary page added) I'm not a graphic designer but it's better organized I think. There won't be an Official Post about it because it isn't new content, but I will make a small announcement when it's out. It'll also include the originally deleted Lars/Zoe/Nevio lunch scene in Chapter 2 as well. Sorry this is taking so long, I just really struggle with the coding side of things which has made the process slow.

Writing in August was also slow, and honestly, I think I really needed those few weeks off not thinking about BA. My inbox being very quiet helped as well, so I really did take a real break from BA. When I opened up the writing doc, I felt a whole lot better about working on BA again, and we have hit 100k words finally!

Anyway, I don't want to lament much, but I did have a personal goal of releasing up to Chapter 4 this year which obviously is Not Going to Happen. It honestly sucks I got sick so often this year because it cut into so much time for creative projects, be it BA or anything else.

I'm not really going to be hard on myself for it, though. I think releasing 3 chapters this year considering everything that kept Going Wrong this year is actually pretty good. I just think its annoying when I know I could have done it but the universe said no instead akfjalfa Anyway, I'm not sure when Chapter 3 will release but I do have a good feeling about September and I think I'll be able to at least get a decent chunk done this month!

Finally, September marks the one year anniversary for this blog and October marks the one year anniversary of BA releasing!! I feel like I literally just started writing this, the fact it's September already is wild.

I was going to do art commissions, but due to surprise car issues, I don't really have the money for that now (next year for sure though!!), so I was thinking of maybe doing character Q&As to celebrate? I've also seen some authors do raffles, but I'm not entirely sure what I would raffle off? Maybe personalized short stories with readers MCs if there's interest in that? I'm not sure yet, but I have a month to figure it out lol

But also thank you to everyone who has followed along!! It's been a really fun time both writing BA and on the blog. I know I say this a lot, but I'm really glad this is such a chill place. It's nice for me the author obviously, but it's also nice because I always want the spaces I have to feel like safe places for others as well so! Thanks again!

Lastly, I normally would end on a little snippet or preview but since most of what I wrote was just the two different openings, I feel like I have nothing fun to tease (or maybe I'm too picky about snippets idk). Hopefully Zoe's bday post tomorrow makes up for it, and I'll post some snippets later in the month instead!

Thanks for reading!

[helenkordart]

“To place my life in your hands, even if my end is death, is something I’ll never regret.”

I started this one the day the license was first announced in July and then the next week my life went to shit and it took me full 6 months of countless redraws and frustration to get to the finish line 🥹🥹🥹 I couldn′t look at it for few months, but I′m back to loving it now 🥹🥹🥹

More details and explanations under the cut! Because I have so much to say about it! Hehe

Everything in this art is hand drawn. The windows, the wisteria, and more importantly the patterns! I went looking for recreations of Sui dynasty clothes and made my own patterns based on those. One day I want to draw them in actually historical clothes of the era tho because the like, general wuxia clothes just arent accurate and I frankly kind of bland. Sui dynasty had such fun layering and insane colour combos! But I love how this one turned out, the patterns were what finally helped the art feel cohesive. The dotted pattern on his top robe hem is the only one I didnt make myself, its one of the default csp patterns.

2. The colour scheme comes from my favourite of the Peerless covers, volume 4 of the traditional edition, lovingly dubbed the Blood licking cover. You know the scene 😳 (yes thats my own copy of the book)

3. Obsessed with how pretty Feng-er′s face turned out. His dimple 🥹 And the phoenix pendant Ququ got him at the end of the book. Ququ is actually wearing Feng-er′s coat in here and my headcanon is that Feng-er loves flaunting the pendant. He loves it so much

4. Ququ′s under eye bags 🥹🥹🥹 let that boy rest. Mwah. Also not so much fun fact, halfway through the art, I completely erased his whole head and drew it again and completely different because it was bothering me so much lmao. This one is SO much better

5. So I have this running joke where every time I draw book characters holding a book, I always add in the text a meaningful scene related to them. So here it′s the scene early on in the cave where Ququ tells him he thinks he's beautiful, but also insufferable and nobody could ever fall in love with him. Heh. Put on this clown wig, Ququ. Honk honk.

Also while my chinese studies are very much postponed rn, I do have a lot of training in japanese and yknow I actually missed writing in characters so much. Surprisingly therapeutic. Need to get back to it.

Anyway if you somehow made it here, wow! Thank you! I love you!

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

Mother Bruce and His Baby Birds

First posted: April 2, 2018

Focuses on: Bruce Wayne et al

Favorite bookmark: "if only dc wasn't a coward"

Second favorite bookmark: "yooo i felt god in this chili's tonight"

Tier: As of queue date, #6 in hits and kudos, #5 in comments, #7 in bookmarks and subscriptions

This is my "behind the scenes" series where I indulge myself horribly by annotating my fics.

I haven't figured out the best way to cover multi-chapter fics, especially behemoths like Nature and Nurture or The Return, so this is a test. I'll start with chapter one and reblog with additions for each chapter, I think. If there's a better way, please send suggestions.

Link to the fic itself above. Thoughts below the cut.

Chapter One

My very first fic ever. I got obsessed with reading fic for a few months (thanks to @audreycritter's Cor Et Cerebrum and @unpretty's Sorrowful and Immaculate Hearts, and finally needed a little bit of output to balance out the input. It wasn't really planned, which is why my name is what it is. I'd made the lurker account to do just that and nothing more. Which feels a little silly now, five years and almost 100 fics later. 😬

The title comes from the Ryan Higgins picture book, because titles are harrrrrrd.

I think this is my only fic with chapter names, other than The Return.

He knew how it felt--that teeth-rattling, rib-crushing, pulse-racing sensation--and he knew how to push through it.

You see? You see how new I was at this? I hadn't even looked up the em-dash shortcut yet.

"And I don’t care if Arthur Pennypacker says gelato contains the required daily serving of calcium. Alfred will not let you survive on gelato alone.”

I am going to try very hard to be proud of this, my little baby fic, and not critical, but it's going to be very difficult when I clearly had to pluck a name out of thin air and ended up with Arthur Pennypacker being discussed in the same scene where Alfred Pennyworth exists. Yeesh.

"Art’s the fathead that stole Eddie’s gym shorts and ran them up the Academy flagpole.”

I wrote a joke poem about this kind of scenario for school once and it got published as part of a contest. Reduce reuse recycle.

The grin was still there, a bright smile full of pleasantly crooked teeth that leaned into each other like birds in a winter wind, but the corner of Jason’s mouth twisted hesitantly.

If I were doing this again, I'd make Jason a little less golly gee mister in tone, but at least he's precious.

Jason had always been gifted at picking up the scent of unease. Dick, Bruce’s outgoing ward, could read emotions. Jason could read tells.

Now that's clever, if I do say so myself. Good job, Amateur Me.

Jason dropped his spoon back in the empty gelato cup and ran his fingers over the stitching of the baseball on the table.

I reference that ball later in another fic and for the life of me right now I can't remember which one. Ah well. Put a pin in this. You'll see it again.

I thought I was gonna miss it for sure! And then after, Raul Huezo right there in front’a me! Just like, pshew! Did’ja see Bruce?

Raul Huezo was a spoof on a real-life baseball player... and I no longer remember who. Pity.

For a moment, all was still. Bruce had stopped breathing entirely, and it felt like Jason had as well. Bruce gripped Jason tightly, struggling to keep the preteen from falling out of his precarious half-perch on Bruce’s lap and onto the floor. But Jason was clutching Bruce just as tightly, gangly arms wrapped around Bruce’s neck and face pressed into Bruce’s chest. Tentatively, Bruce lowered his face to Jason’s hair and breathed in the smell of shampoo, sweat, and ballfield.

dadhugdadhugdadhugdadhug

Hitting post on this very first chapter was terrifying but everyone was awfully nice. And it's so fun to look back and realize @cdelphiki was my very first commenter ever. Like hey! I know that name!

[inkabelledesigns]

I know I'm posting a day late here, but Happy Birthday Bendy! February 10th, 2024 marks the 7 year anniversary of when Bendy and the Ink Machine came out. And boy, has it been a wild ride. Normally I would reserve this for my Bendy sideblog, @angelofthepage , but I'm posting it here because this is where I started years ago, and I want some of those people who don't see that blog to have a chance to see this. Because you guys are a part of this story.

In about three months, seven years ago, I was in finals hell, working through my process book for my packaging design class in one of the dorm lounges while my roommate had taken the room for herself again. And the only thing keeping me sane was putting Can't Be Erased and Build Our Machine on loop as I worked. BATIM only had two chapters out, and I didn't know everything about it, but I was so intrigued by what its deal was. I took one look at Sammy Lawrence and I wanted to know everything about him. Something about this barely started game, the idea of your characters coming to life to kill you, it thrilled me, intrigued me. It was something I was really afraid of, being so attached to my characters and putting so much of my identity in my art. And while the story isn't really all that much about cartoons themselves being alive, it gave me something else that ended up changing my life.

Over that summer, I would become obsessed, and for the first time in years, I let myself be a fangirl again. And maybe one day I'll pull up the timeline and tell you how it all went down. But right now, after all the celebrating of yesterday, I just wanna take a moment to appreciate the last seven years. All the people I've met, all the friends I've made. All the experiences we've had together, big and small. Some have been incredibly close, and others have been people I still smile about whenever I see them on my feed, even if we're not all doing stuff in the same fandom anymore. There's some people I've fallen out of touch with that I likely won't ever see again that I miss. There's some I'll be lucky if I never see again. There's the official voice actors for Dark Revival, which I've had the pleasure of working with on community things here in the fandom. I regularly moderate their livestreams (or Lovestreams as we call them) where they sign prints and interact with us fans (and sometimes I'm tech support, once an ink machine technician, always an ink machine technician xD). I'm honored to call a lot of them my friends, we've had some truly wonderful conversations. I've spent a lot of time in a variety of servers, trying to uplift people and make for a positive fandom experience for everyone, fans old and new. Sometimes it lands me in interesting places, like helping out over on the Inky News channel. The host, Brandon, invited me over to guest star on his anniversary stream yesterday, and in the past I've been fortunate enough to showcase my art on two of his interviews, one with Dave Rivas and one with Adrienne Kress. Sometimes it lands me on fun projects, like working on a fan game, and for the first time it's not as a voice actor! I'm a writer. I've had my work uplifted in turn too, meeting people who value me for me and also cheer me on when I try new things (sometimes entirely new mediums like doll customizing). I got my first helpful constructive critique in this fandom, and it was something I ASKED for. That is a huge personal milestone! I have a really complex and twisty set of feelings about critique, and finally, I feel better, because someone helped me start to unravel that just by being themselves and being thoughtful. It's inspired me to want to be better in how I handle critique and problem solving with others.

I spent so much of my life putting my self worth in other people's hands. I thought I would never be good enough to have friends who didn't treat me like garbage. I thought I'd never be a good artist in any sense of the word either. But I was wrong. I've grown. I'm valued, I'm wanted. I don't have to hide parts of myself to be desirable. Sometimes being the silly, goofy, fangirl that is Kat is enough. My art is enough, my ideas are enough, my flavor is tasty, and I am a goddamn treat. And after so many years of not knowing that, I'm glad I finally do. And it's all because of the people. It wasn't ever that my flavor was bad, it's that I hadn't found people with a taste for it yet. Bendy's greatest gift was giving me a fresh start, a chance to meet new people, good people, and for that, I'm forever grateful. Even though things have changed, I'm glad I met each and every one of you, you all taught me something valuable along the way, and I think about those experiences we shared often.

I won't lie to you, I've been rather frustrated with Bendy lately. And I think a lot of it has to do with the games not truly having grown with me. At some point our paths deviated, and there are elements of what's come and what's coming that are getting away from what really enticed me about the very first entry, the things I valued most in it. But in some ways, analyzing that has led me to figure out what made that first game so special. It was human. It was a character focused game, and each of the characters, while vague, gave us just enough about themselves that we could feel for them, get invested, imagine, maybe even sympathize. Everyone is a tragedy, but they're all different flavors of tragedy. And it was seeing people explore that, seeing people write these characters in ways that were so human, that really built a connection. For some people, Bendy is another indie horror experience. For others, it's something to indulge in that hits hard on a personal level. In many ways, it attracts a lot of us who feel like misfits. It's many things. But to me, the magic was in the people. The people in this universe, and the people in its real world community.

It has solidified my belief that people should play with fiction however they want, no matter how far it deviates from the canon, no matter how weird it is. Go be interpretive, go tell your story, go be free to make what speaks to you! (All I ask is that you're thoughtful about tagging it so people can make smart choices about engaging with it.) All stories are worth telling. Even if no one gets into it, having told it makes a difference.

Whether you're someone who's been there from the beginning, or someone that's new to Bendy, I hope you're all having fun. Whether you've finished exploring the world or you've just begun, I hope you've found something valuable. Thank you, for coming along for the ride. Here's to many more fun experiences and stories, be they official or be they in the fandom. Happy Bendyversary!

[robowriting]

kinktober day 4: toys

summary: separated for a few nights and missing each other terribly, leo and keeper message each other and use a long distance droid sex toy.

L: good evening, handsome! i am missing you something wretched at the moment.

L: do you miss me?

K: yes. quite a bit.

K: i was in town getting some supplies for the repair earlier, and someone told me that i lacked my usual sparkle. 

L: good gracious, how rude. you're always sparkling, love.

K: no, they were right. i've looked in a mirror several times today. my colors have been dingy without you.

L: oh dear. will you let me cheer you up?

K: yes please.

L: do you wish i was there or that you were here right now?

K: i wish i was there with you. i was ready to come with you before the electrical system had that issue. it's fun going back to the castle, reliving old memories, spending time with your family. and you have such a big bed. 

L: certainly too big for just me. i'm there right now and the excessive size just makes me miss you more. you would fill up this bed nicely. 

L: and then i would fill you up nicely.

K: you’re such a charmer.

L: you love me. actually, you should go look in my bedside table drawer. 

K: oh! we haven't used this toy in a while. did you bring the remote with you?

L: of course i did! i am trying to be more responsible lately and planning ahead is part of that. plug it in.

K: well i’m impressed. it’s in.

L: good boy. 

K: do you think the remote will work from this far away?

L: hang on.

K: oh, it works. 

L: thank the stars. 

L: technology truly is a beautiful thing, isn’t it?

K: i’m glad you think so.

L: yes, yes, you’re a gorgeous state of the art bodyguard droid, the apple of my eye, the reason my heart races and my loins ache, and i am going to make you come from a planet away tonight.

K: you’re more verbose when you’re back around family, and it’s very cute.

L: hush, you. keep messaging me as long as you can, alright? until you come.

K: i will, i promise.

L: thank you. how do you feel right now?

K: it’s not as good as your fingers, but it’s causing minor waves in my processing functions. it’s good. it’s very good.

K: can you tell me more about what you would do if i was there?

L: i’d kiss all the way up your legs, at every plate and joint. i’d lick at the wires underneath your knees and try to stop myself from fingering you too quickly. good things come to those that wait, keeper, isn’t that right?

K: yes.

K: yes.

K: yes.

K: yes.

K: yes.

K: fuck, leo, you turned up the toy to such a high setting that it made my system do a loop for several seconds. i only meant to send that once.

L: oops. my fingers slipped, bumped you up to a seven on mistake. pardon me, love.

K: you’re a fucking liar. but keep going, please.

L: hahaha

L: if i’m not fingering you then my hands should be doing something useful, don’t you agree? would you want to watch me play with my piercings or hold down your wrists?

K: oh, stars. piercings.

L: tell me why and i’ll make you feel even better.

K: i love the pink of your nipples, it’s like my face when i’m flustered. and when you touch your piercings there, it’s skin against metal, and it’s so fucking hot. you touch yourself there and you’re so beautiful. i can tell how much you like showing off. i love it and i love you.

L: good boy.

K: and i love you.

K: and i love you.

K: and i love you.

K: and i love you.

K: fuck, leo. if you set it much higher, i’m going to come.

K: i’m getting close.

L: i wish i was with you.

K: are you hard?

L: of course i am. i’m wanking at the thought of you getting off over there. you’re so fucking horny that your systems on the fritz and you can’t message me properly and that’s driving me crazy. i wish i was humping your leg and wrist deep in your torso, stroking your core until you come. i want to see it, i want to be there and hear you. i want to hold you.

K: stars, i need you.

L: i’m right here. i have you. 

K: leo

L: keeper

K: can i come? please, please i need it.

L: turning it up to the highest setting. come for me.

K: coming

K: coming

K: coming

L: i’ll be right here when you’re ready.

L: fuck, i just came all over myself

L: better myself than the satin sheets, i suppose.

L: stars, i miss you

K: hey, i love you. i’m back, i’m here.

L: i love you too.

K: i just looked in the mirror and i can confirm: my colors are no longer looking so dingy. 

L: i’m sure you look ravishing and vibrant. you always do though. faded colors or not. i take offense at the word ‘dingy.’ nothing about you is ever dingy.

K: alright, alright, if you say so.

L: i do.

K: you’re cute.

L: you’re making me blush, keeper.

K: you’re cute when you blush.

L: i think that toy was a good investment.

K: yes.

K: it was fucking expensive though.

K: let’s use it again in the morning. we need to make sure we’re getting our money’s worth.

L: i completely agree. 

L: leave it plugged in tonight, i’ll turn it on as soon as i wake up. 

K: that’s a nice way to say good morning.

L: i thought so, yes.

L: goodnight, sweetheart.

K: goodnight, leo. 

[gyllenhaalstories]

Hi Laurie! 💛

You know what's coming, hehe 👀

I saw this in another fandom and now I'm sending the same question to a bunch of Jake girlies (gn) because it’s so interesting seeing everybody’s answers!

Who are your Top 3 Jake boys and why? Is there a specific piece of art (fic, gif, fan art, etc.) for them that you like a lot?

hiiiiiiiiii!!! 💖 i do know what's coming teehee! i love his characters so much. even if the movie is not up my alley, his character always stands out. i'll watch everything he's in just because i'm obsessed (except spirit untamed, it is against my principle to support this horrible version of spirit the stallion of the cimarron) i just love them like they're just so neat i love them so much. OKAY TIME TO CHOOSE.

Elwood Dalton

i cannot believe that davis was dethroned as my forever ultimate favorite character but he was. dalton is so special to me. i've been obsessed with him since the very beginning when i was looping videos to get his full name and start writing for him immediately. so he's been living in my mind rent from for a LONG and i hope he never leaves. i lost count of how many times i've watched the movie (especially the scenes with laura!!!), it's so good. i'm already seated for the sequel idc what people say i want it and i will love it! also, i love how dalton ressembles billy and lou! the scene where he punches the guy to death and tell him how he will perish was so hot like like welcome back lou bloom you were missed <3 dalton is funny, and suicidal and caring and violent and what more could i ask? yeah okay i could ask to use his titties as pillows to fall asleep on.

my absolute favourite dalton creations are the wonderful gifs that @stephendorff made! i proclaim myself as their biggest fan when it comes to jake's gifs because oh my god the talent!!! i adore the parallel gifsets, so let me link you to a bunch! omg me when + nice hoodie + so bloody yum + i will cover these men with hello kitty bandaids + need both of them at the same time.

Detective Loki

he's an obvious one! jack twist, donnie darko and detective loki must be the most well loved characters in this fandom FOR ALL THE RIGHT REASONS. i love loki. i'm convinced deep in my soul that he would absolutely despise me. i can't shut up, i'm clingy as fuck and we'd spend most of his rare free time watching barbie movies. but it could be nice! i'd pack him his lunch, i'd learn to iron his shirts, i'd follow him to his barber and beg the man to give me the same haircut... like, we'd have a good life! aside from getting eaten alive by the constant fear that loki is in danger but shh. i love loki so much, i love all of the mysterious details about him, i love that jake played such a big part into building this character.

there are SO many amazing fics for detective loki, and rightfully so! he deserves it! in my opinion, @det-loki is the best writer. star captures loki in such an unique way, her writing feels like deleted scenes & extra footage from the movie. i know i always recommend star when it comes to loki fics but if you've ever read what she's posted, you would do the same! @charliehoennam has also posted some amazing det loki fics recently that i cannot recommend enough!!! here are the links: cat n mouse, dinner date & the dinner party (my personal favourite!).

Tommy Cahill

when i watched brothers, i conveniently just... skipped the military scenes. so the movie was all about tommy and i loved it. wow what a sweet romcom. i just love him. he's fun and sweet and he has had it so rough with his family that treats him like a black sheep. his father is acting like tommy is the failure when the only failure i'm seeing is a parent who failed to love his child like he deserved. AND I WOULD GIVE HIM ALL THE LOVE HE NEEDS! endless unconditional love. all he wants is to have a family of his own and be happy and become a better person. i have no doubt that he has what it takes to achieve his goals. he's my beanie baby and i love him to the moon and back.

controversy alert! but... i'm not mad at tommy and grace for kissing (skipping most of sam scenes helps a lot) but like... he was nice to grace for the most part, he helped her with the kitchen, he was so fun with the kids... he can't do anything wrong you know? i have horrible morals, i'm aware. so i'll just link to the video of the kiss scene because i love it and i love watching it and i wish it was me.

my top 3 usually fluctuates, but i'd say that overall, it's the same five characters that are on rotation. dalton, loki, tommy, davis and right now the 5th position is switching between john kinley & jerry brinson. i do want to say that i was pleasantly surprised with how much i liked anthony swofford and brian taylor when i watched their respective movies, i didn't think i'd enjoy their characters much but it might be time to retire my #1 bald!jake hater title. it was so hard to choose though. i feel bad for the ones i left out. i love you danny! and billy! and donnie! and adam! and holden! and okay fine i'll shut up. i know i've told you already, but this was such a sweet initiative to go around and spread some joy!!! thank you for doing this, and for sending it to me as well! 🥰

[box-off]

ok do it talk about tf2 and postal

You asked for it.

Okay, let's start with tf2. Tf2 is one of the best games EVER in my opinion, and it's not a really trustworthy one, but it's an opinion. I love everything from character design to the community to the game itself. The comics which make me want to explode from how well the character design goes both for 3d and 2d, and the silly world that the characters live in. It's like some kind of wonderland, but it's made for a fps gamer. The first thing that made me interested in tf2 was my friend talking about it, he sent me the "Meet the spy" video and a fan made animation. I remember seeing it and thinking "Wow, those guys look cool", and when I started learning more I REALLY wanted to play as scout (who I still main to this day). I obviously knew about tf2 before but never got too interested in it. But when I started playing oh wow it sucked me in. Tf2 made me have a big standard for character design, thanks to tf2 I never watched Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss (no matter how hard my friends tried to make me watch it), because oh how distracting those designs were for me. Whenever I think about good character design it's the tf2 mercs, they made me realize that the characters don't have to have 300 cool guns on them to point at the character and say "THIS GUY IS COOL!", you can make simple characters that are still catchy and easy to remember and recognize, and even get to understand their main purpose from just a glance. It's even better to make them simple in some cases! (In general valve games have good designs, but tf2 stands out a lot, at least for me). The game itself always makes me feel good, surprisingly it can be relaxing if you don't get too into the competitive mood and have the luck to get normal teammates. Yes, I might be a casual player, but I'm free. Don't get me started on the amount of playing styles tho. I'm not really good at them, I always go with scout, hop around and do my shit. I do play medic in MvM tho, I just really like to have a huge shield and be like "I'll protect you", idk, it's probably the furry alpha wolf speaking in me. But in normal game, oh what a blessing it is sometimes to have a really skilled demoknight, or a good rocket jumper in your team. Or a good spy who saves the day when the engineers build their nest right over the corner, or a medic that manages to heal everyone and not die 100 times in the process. I barely talk in chat in the game (because it's distracting), but know that if you play good and I'm in your team I'm thanking you constantly in my mind. Let me add that I joined the fandom when the bots where still there so I played with them a lot. Now that this is getting fixed it's even more fun! But I managed to fall in love with this half broken game and I'm sorry, that's a big fucking gold medal for a game, if it can still pull fans while being abandoned (hopefully that changes, but it's still impressive).

Now about Postal. I am edgy. Let me be real, if you saw my art you can probably tell that I do like myself some guts and blood from time to time. And I like humor, I like to laugh, to chuckle, to snicker if you will. So me liking Postal was just a matter of time. First game I played was Brain Damaged, and oh boy, the humor was good (even tho some things I missed because I didn't play the other games). As I got deeper into other games I was so IN. Those games are just so much FUN. I like fps games if you couldn't tell, and this? This is the fps game ever, it has some fun stuff to do, you of course can shoot, you can just walk around and explore in postal 2 and 4, and it's worth it! I love exploring those games, they always have some silly stuff here and there. And what they did well in Postal 4 is that they made you explore, they hid dolls, gnomes and all that stuff all over the map, and you can explore it, not just because, but you can actually get something for it. And let me be honest, Postal Dude? Hot. He's hot, and as a dirty stinky gay man myself I appreciate the representation. But jokes aside, HE'S A GOOD CHARACTER. I love him, it's interesting to watch what he does, to hear what he says, in all the games btw, yes, even postal 3. The character design again? Really well done. Postal Dude is simple, Postal Dude is cool, he's not your stereotypical "Cool guy who kills people with huge armor on" or "The buff guy who fights everyone with bare hands" (except Shtopor, that guy is fucking RIPPED.) When I look at Doomguy? I think "Damn, you're cool." when I look at Postal Dude?? I think "Damn man, you're probably stink", and you know what? THAT'S THE CHARM OF THIS CHARACTER. He sucks! You know where he sucks even more than in the game? The movie, and you have NO IDEA how much I love it. The movie is bad, like, not just because "it doesn't represent the characters as they are in the game" but because it's a bad movie. Just as a movie it's not really well done. But! I still love it. It's a movie that is fun to watch with your friends, you laugh at how bad it is, you just have a blast, at least me and my friends did. And I have the bluray disk, so I have the behind the scenes and all that cool stuff, and you know what? It made me like this shit even more. I really wish I could play more Postal with people, and not just that, I'm also waiting for Postal 4 co-op, and some of my friends getting the game as well. Because in my opinion Postal is that type of game that has to be shown to your friends in a "Hey guys, look at this stupid game I found, isn't it so random??" way. I talked a lot about Postals funny part, yes, but I do have to also mention that Postal 1 is rally good. And yes, postal redux is just Postal 1 with a bit better graphics, but I do like it in a way (mainly because of the better quality of the loading screens, because those are just so good. I really like the artistic part of this game). Funny postal? It's good, I love funny postal. But without creepy postal there wouldn't be some stuff in the funny postal that we like so much. Other Dude? The head wound making everything look strange? I don't really think we would have that in newer postal games without postal 1!

[blurryfangirlansuke]

Now you maybe wondering that about me being absent one of them is college I can't control that it depends on my degree and planning what I want to do in my adult life. Also I want to get this out of my chest. I'm perfectly fine when people tell my obsession with Duke goes too far causing me to lose friends or just being all over a character that doesn't exist. I understand and I do apologize if I make feel people uncomfortable and when ask people if they can draw myself and Duke together they don't have to I make it very optional and I have plenty of other characters to simp for but Duke is #1 he'll always be. He's the reason why I'm being stable from being lonely and stress between reality and trying to become independent. It's not easy when your autistic and have social anxiety and learning different ways of how to do things. Duke is a comfort and I believe everyone should have a comfort character if not then perhaps your best friend or family .

Whenever I see a picture of Duke or art heck even gifts people draw for me it makes me touched and happy because I love this vampire and yes he's fictional but it's fun to simp and also appreciate the creator who put there heart and soul making characters to adore and even be interested with there stories and series.

Another thing I get so happy is when I commission the creator of the series Duke's plays the lead one along with Missi the vampire who tolerates him. The creator absolutely knows me so well and always spoils me with amazing commissions of me and Duke also she's close and appreciates fans like me for liking character such as Duke . Also buying loads of merchandise from the creator's store and main do I go buck while on everything worse then going to a barns and noble xD.

I am a busy person who gets free time and sometimes not so much. I'm working on my degree, learning the good and bad things in life even if I don't understand. I attend to also write my fanfics whenever I get the chance to take a break on drawing nonstop art of Duke. It also gives me ideas for myself if I ever want to make a character of my own and I know one day the character is going to be inspired by many artists I admire if you see what I usual post xD.

I have dreams of being with Duke in real life like he stays with me in my campus, we go for nightwalks, I lay in his coffin or king size bed and talk for hours. I wake up and he's not there with me. I know this feeling is loneliness which I'm use to since I have a hard time reaching out to people and the art I do might probably not spark interest. I miss my sister who's in college we have a great bond, I love my parents always support me, I have friends and fans online here that support me.

However I really wish I didn't feel this way. I know I attend to seek help with my advisors or talk to my sister it does help. I'm not normal and then okay because hey we all special and unique in our ways. Duke is fictional but he's my happiness and true comfort and I'll always love him even if I want to strangle him.

Yes I've been a little depressed and overwhelmed but that's life we have our good days and bad days. Crying does help me let everything out and start a better day. Eventually this blog will also get more hearts soon and also I have to be present for that to happen which I try. I appreciate you listening to me and I don't want end things sad especially since this is me and Duke's month so I made a healing art piece and color it about us. I really appreciate the support and love you all give me. This helps me to stay motivated and keep going. Don't worry I'll post more things and happy stuff. Letting this vent things pass.

Thank you for listening and much love you all Spooklings 🥰

[ronaestrider]

A Conversation in the Square

Ruthar watches over the trainees in the square, taking mental notes as he regards forms and abilities. His expression is masked, the recruits unable to tell how he feels about their performance.

Ina'thia steps out from the Hall of Blood, file of paperwork under her arm, and spots a familiar bow over by the training yard. She hurries over, plate amor clanking with each stride in her jog, and stops next to Ruthar. "Well, how are they doing?" She lifts her chin, gaze trailing over to the new recruits.

Ruthar 's voice is low. "Very well, but don't let them hear that," he offers with a chuckle. He glances to the paperwork. "How's the reinstatement coming along?"

Ina'thia smirks, and replies in a low voice of her own. "If you want, I can yell at them and tell them they're awful." She snickers, and pulls a file out from her folder to begin folding into a paper airplane. "Fully reinstated! And with a mountain of work to catch up on..." 

Ruthar catches eyes with the trainer overseeing the ground and gives him a hand signal indicating his departure. The ranger nods, barking commands to the trainees as Ruthar turns his attention fully to Ina'thia. "That was admitted quicker than I would have thought. Congratulations, all the same, Knight-Lord." His face turns upward into a smirk. "Perhaps the next step will be calling you Commander once again, hmm?"

Ina'thia makes one crisp fold of the parchment after another, until it is vaguely airplane-shaped. "I didn't go AWOL or leave on any particularly poor terms... so it was actually quite easy. I don't think we'll be Commanders again anytime soon, though." 

Ruthar chuckles at that. "I somehow doubt that. The face of duty always seems to spring itself upon us." He sighs, looking over the recruits again. "I do miss it, though. As much my very being is a Farstrider, it was nice to oversee a unit of so many different facets."

Ina'thia smirks at Ruthar as she inspects her handiwork, "If I could send a few Blood Knights your way, I would. I'd like to see them work through Farstrider training in full plate. You know, for fun." 

Ruthar laughs. "You're a Knight-Lord. I'm sure you'll have Initiates to spare. I'd be happy to oversee a gauntlet for your entertainment."

Ina'thia actually laughs at that, then launches her paper airplane! Between her poor aim and even worse throw, it doesn't go very far. "If my hunches are correct, I'll have more apprentices than I can shake a stick at here soon." 

"As well as Masters and Champions awaiting their advancement."

“Right back into the fray, as it were,” Ruthar replies. “You never did enjoy sitting around.”

"I always considered myself good at many, many things... retirement is not one of them. Neither is whatever this is..." 

Ina'thia glances down at the paper airplane with a disappointed look. 

Ruthar chuckles at that, moving forward to scoop up the plane and offer it back to Ina'thia. "Arts and crafts doesn't strike me as your strong suit," he quips. "On the plus side, at least you've come back to active duty during a time where we can actually focus on our own. For once.”

Ina'thia takes the paper airplane back, and begins inspecting it for flaws. "Oh, no. Not at all. Even my macaroni art as a child was dreadful," she laughs, "...I miss it, though. The Guard. Seeing what Li-Mei got up to and is being held accountable for makes me feel a pang of guilt. Like I should have fought harder to keep it active, or made better efforts -- or any effort -- to keep tabs on everyone after it was over." 

Ruthar visibly darkens at the mention of Li-Mei. He pauses for a long moment, looking up above the square. "That exact thing has been eating away at me for a while now, to be honest." He shakes his head, his eyes looking emptily to the ground before them. "What kind of leader isn't there for his own? That whole thing with Li-Mei - it never would have happened if I didn't turn a blind eye."

Ina'thia presses her lips together and finally turns to look at Ruthar with a serious look of her own, "...With respect, my friend, I think she would have still gone down that path. Only you would have been there to watch it all unfold in front of you." 

Ruthar lets out a slow breath. "Possibly. Still, I can't help but think that she just needed some guidance. We were all so lost during the twists and turns of the Fourth War. It took a lot of willpower to push through all that."

Ina'thia lets her gaze fall back on the junior rangers and their targets once again. "I feel empathy for her, but also, an odd sort of contempt. She and I ended up on similar walkabouts, but I at least had the good sense to retire instead of abandoning my post." 

"And now... begging the Farstriders for forgiveness? With Magister Everblaze as her counsel? I feel awful that the trials of her health have been put on full display and official records." 

Ruthar nods slowly. "I can't help but think that there is more to this. That she just happened to find herself in the midst of Everblaze at the exact time of her need just feels..." His voice trails off in thought.

“He has a knack for showing up precisely when he is needed,” Ina’thia replies. “...and helps in a way that helps himself even more.”

Ruthar considers that. “It's slightly uncanny. But, I have to commend his assistance in the matter. He did immediately come to me with the news of her return. He could have just sat on it and played games with the intel.”

“Are you certain he brought it to you immediately, or is that just what he said?” Ina’thia asks.

“The timeline that Starfrost provided confirmed the relative expedience, so I will give the credit where it is due in this case.”

Ina'thia wrinkles her nose at that, "Sorry... I'm letting my personal feelings get the better of me in regard to him. I went to go and apologize to him, you know? He laughed me out of his stupid tower." 

Ruthar looks back to her, his face one of gentle concern. "No apologies necessary - your insight is invaluable, you know that." He shakes his head. "Laughed you out, huh? Wouldn't even offer you a genuine audience?"

Ina'thia scowls at one particular leaf on the ground, "He feigns courtesy in a way where it's infuriating, because you know it's not genuine. I didn't want to hear it, so I left." 

Ruthar shakes his head. "Well, I suppose that you can consider that particular chapter closed, if nothing else."

Ina'thia nudges that one leaf with a gentle touch of her boot, "It was a sad way to end things. He, and his denial, are hanging by a thread. I would have preferred if he just started throwing fire at me. I'm better at that instead of dealing with -words-." 

Ruthar chuckles. "Even he knows more sense than that. I doubt very much that the Magister would best you in combat. There's a reason we were the boots on the ground."

Ina'thia grins at Ruthar, "It's true. The Magister and his many, many skirts could ~never.~"

Ruthar laughs at that. "Still, it's a show of strength for you to even seek him out. He knows this, whether he wants to admit it or not."

Ina'thia lets out an exaggerated sigh, "I miss when a show of strength was kicking in someone's door, or besting them in combat. Apologizing? Making amends? It's the worst. I hate it." 

Ruthar laughs at that. "I hear you there. Fortunately, I have no idea where my ex-lovers have ended up. No door-kicking or empty words required."

Ina'thia taps her chin thoughtfully, "That one redhead that was with us for awhile... oh! Deylivia~" she says the woman's name in a spooky voice, even wiggling her fingers at Ruthar, "...Gods, you're lucky. I don't know where she ended up, either." 

Ruthar rolls his eyes at the spooky voice in a hilariously sibling-like way. "I do hope she's alright," he admits. "Nara swooped in and stole her thunder. Word is she was killed. Shame, really - despite her mind, she was quite something to look at." He smirks slyly at that.

Ina'thia continues waving her fingers, "Naaaaaaraaaa~ easy on the eyes, but difficult in all other ways~" She finally stops with her spooky naming of exes, "Hell. We sure did know how to pick them, didn't we?" 

Ruthar smirks. If he were a smoker, he'd light one up for a looooong drag. Instead, he just leans against the post. "They were enough to take me off the market, if that says anything," he admits with shrug. "Like you said - put me in the field to hunt things down and I've got no problem. Ask me to untangle the maze of love and you're better off trying to ask a lynx to cook you breakfast."

Ina'thia smirks in return to Ruthar, "You know, I was having a similar conversation with another knight just last night. End up with the wrong person? Just keep trying until you find the right one. But if you date -too- much, then you're a terrible person." 

"I hate it." 

Ruthar smirks. "Just don't call it dating and all is well."

"Mmm! Got me on the technicality, then. So what about you, though? Should someone I know be looking for a handsome ranger to not-date, shall I set the two of you up?" 

Ruthar chuckles. "I haven't given it much thought, lately. To be honest, I really went all in when I came back to the Farstriders full-time. Hasn't been a lot of room for extracirricular activity. But, I suppose it's a time of peace. Who knows which way the wind will blow?”

Ina'thia gives Ruthar a flat stare at that, and it's clear that she's thinking of something to say that's not too crass, but just crass enough. Finally, she gives up. "If you can find time for extracurricular activities in a tent in a temporary garrison, you can find time for it here." 

Ruthar laughs at that. "There is always time for -that- side of things, true. The relationship hunting aspect, different story."

Ina'thia touches her chin thoughtfully, "I thought a Farstrider would be good at the -hunting- part." 

Ruthar smirks. "I could say the same about finding the "light" in life for you Knights, but I'll save that one for later."

Ina'thia gives Ruthar a flat look, although it's in jest. "A Blood Knight doesn't -find- the Light. Haven't you heard? We're the true masters." 

Ruthar chuckles at that. "I'll admit it - sleeping with a personal Sunwell does sound somewhat enticing."

Ina'thia keeps her fingers tapping gently on her chin, "Mmm. Maybe I'll just have to be a matchmaker. Add it to my long list of responsibilities as a Knight-Lord." 

Ruthar shakes his head with a smirk. "When I mentioned that I missed the days of interdisciplinary units, this isn't exactly what I meant." He looks to Ina's Blood Knight tabard with a shrug. "But hey, can't say I've had much luck with rangers anyhow," he quips.

Ina'thia snickers at Ruthar, "...I knew what you meant, but I couldn't resist. I've missed having Farstriders, Magisters and Spellbreakers around. Then again, I only had Pandaren monks and an ex-Spellbreaker around for years."

Ruthar nods. "I really regret not spending more time in Pandaria. It is such a beautiful place. Shame my time there was cut short."

"I have mixed feelings about it,” Ina’thia replies. “On one hand, beautiful scenery. On the other hand, the old gods. Both times I was there, actually." 

“Surely they aren't still a problem up there?” Ruthar asks.

Ina'thia scrunches her brow as she thinks, "Not anymore, I don't think. But I was there at Kun-Lai when the Black Empire attacked." 

Ruthar claps the upper right of her shield on her back. "And lived to tell the tale. I'll never not be impressed by that, truly."

Ina'thia allows a genuine, if even prideful smile at that. "Someone, years ago, said something about me that I won't ever forget. Too stubborn to die. Ever the truth for me. And when I finally stop being stubborn and croak, then I'll retire."

Ruthar smirks at that. "Too stubborn to die - that's certainly one way to put it. Too -busy- to die, or too -needed- to die are probably more accurate." He snaps straighter. "Speaking of, when I was collecting the paperwork from your newly-compromised office, I recalled one of my fondest memories of the Guard, handing out the Commendations of Quel'Thalas. You still have yours?"

Ina'thia tucks a finger under her tabard and fishes around for a leather cord, which holds a familiar -- yet quite tarnished -- Commendation of Quel'Thalas. A gold ring with a familiar enchanted ruby and a black band with a gold line in the center are also strung on the cord. "It's been through hell and back, but yes. I kept it." 

Ruthar looks to the Commendation fondly, his memory slipping back to the ceremony on Quel'Danas. "I don't think I've ever swelled with pride more than that day. It's really something when you think back to everything we've done. Hard to imagine what made me press onward after nearly dying in Hearthglen, but I'm damn glad I did."

Ina'thia watches the medal closely, and what little light the tarnished surface reflects catches an odd shimmer in her eye. She rests it over her tabard. "Honestly? Part of me thought you were going to transfer immediately." 

"I'm so very, very glad you didn't." 

Ruthar smiles genuinely at that. "Same," he says simply, keeping his emotions in check. "I certainly wouldn't be the ranger I am today without the Guard, without you. I never really tasted the mantle of leadership or saw myself in that kind of role, but," he glances to the trainees filing in and out. "Here we are."

Ina'thia 's expression goes quite serious for a moment, "...The Guard gave me something to live for when I thought all hope was lost. Leading made me learn and grow so much. I made my fair share of mistakes... but who hasn't?" 

"The lessons I learned with the Guard kept me going through all that's happened in the last seven years." 

Ruthar nods. "It still keeps me going, shelved or not."

Ina'thia nods once, "Me, too. Maybe someday we'll be called into that service again. For now, though? No reason the Farstriders and the Blood Knights can't work together." 

Ruthar nods at that, standing straighter. "I'd have it no other way. One of the most important lessons that the Guard left upon me, indeed." He looks down to the medal once again before taking a step back to regard her fully. "Silvermoon is a better place with you back in it, that's for damn sure. Sadly, though, I've got to get these recruits back to Valdrakken."

Ina'thia also squares her shoulders and lifts her chin a little bit. Posture, it's important! "Thanks, Ruthar. Truly. But, yes! Go tend to the recruits. Whip 'em into shape before I get called in to do it." She smirks.

Ruthar chuckles at that. "Perhaps one day we'll both have Lord in our title. But until then, you're free to boss around my Farstriders as you see fit."

Ina'thia reaches out to gently pat the non-spikey part of Ruthar's pauldron, "You've more than earned it. And when the time comes, you will have this Knight-Lord's unending, glowing recommendations. For now, though... best tend to those recruits." 

Ruthar smiles, looking at the recruits now filing up. "Sunwell guide, Ina'thia. Let's grab dinner in Fairbreeze soon, hmm? Could use some conversation without the endless presence of the Square." He offers a casual salute and reaches down to gather his helmet and satchel.

Ina'thia offers Ruthar a warm smile, though it quickly turns into a stern look when one recruit dares to return her gaze. "Sunwell guide, Ruthar. I'll make the arrangements for dinner."

@inathia

[mins-fins]

TO MY FIRST LOVE (K.JH)

SUMMARY . . . a letter to his first love, kum junhyeon, and the memories that follow.

PAIRING . . . kum junhyeon x male!reader

GENRE . . . fluff+angst (deadly combination)

WARNINGS . . . none i'm pretty sure!

WORD COUNT . . . 777 (wow shorter than i expected!)

NOTES . . . here we go with junhyeon!! haha, can't tell if this is supposed to be sad or cute but you can decide that for yourself

dear kum junhyeon,

it's been a while, it has. i like to think that i'm a consistent person, but the last time we talked was almost three months ago, and i just wanna check up on you! i hope your okay, how's the performance art major going? i know your passing with no issue, you've always been insanely talented, i have no doubt that your the star student, especially with how much of a lovable person you are.

i hope you haven't forgotten me, because i haven't forgotten you. i know you've responded to my letters, all of them, but it's been three months, and even though this might make me sound like a clingy bitch, i assume you'd forget me already, because.. i just don't really think i'm memorable. i also just wouldn't be surprised if you forgot me at all, because your busy and having fun, i wish i could be there with you, but the world really just hates my guts.

if your interested, art has been going well. my teachers have told me that my paintings are so good that they could get accepted into an art museum someday, you told me that once, remember? when we were twelve and you saw my painting of that house by the lake, you told me i was gonna become the next 'da vinci', which resulted in me punching you in the shoulder.

i dislike thinking about the fact that we haven't talked for the past few months. i constantly check my phone and frown when i see no notifications from you. did you know, the picture i chose for you is the one from your twelfth birthday, when i put icing on your noise. you always said that photo was embarrassing, but you looked cute, even though you would always vehemently deny that.

it's difficult these days, you know student loans and all, but thinking about you always seems to help me forget about all the horrible stuff going on in my life (you better not call me cringey in the return letter), because.. i don't know, i just like thinking about you for some reason. years ago, i could have never imagined myself saying that, but now, it's kind of hard to go on without you, if you get what i mean.

i could never imagine my life without you years ago..

i hate writing like this, because.. well— i sound stupid when i write about stuff like this. sometimes, i wish i could have convinced my parents to not move me to new york for college, but then again, i am "successful" now, so i guess in the end it all amounted to something. of course, i still have a long way to go, i'm only nineteen, there's still so much for me to do and accomplish, but it's disappointing to think i have done this all without you by my side.

i still have that painting you made me, your a really talented artist, i can't believe you called it "just a small hobby for when i'm bored", when you've made some better paintings than me, and that's saying something. i miss you, like a lot, junhyeon, writing my feelings on paper makes me feel stupid, because expressing myself through writing has always been difficult for me to do, as i've told you before.

i know what we have has always been a little complicated, our feelings are mutual are they not? i'd like to think i'm right in this instance, hopefully, because it would be super embarrassing if i was wrong, but at the same time, how long will it be until we see each other again? how long will it be until i actually get to see you face to face and tell you how i feel all over again?

this is getting kinda depressing, sorry, i just— i really miss you a lot okay? this may come off as desperate and stupid, but honestly, it gets kinda difficult knowing your all the way across the ocean and i could be right there with you if the circumstances were different, but alas, not everything is gonna be in my favor, i realize that now.

anyway, kum junhyeon! it'll be nice to catch up much more personally sometimes, if we ever get the chance to see each other in person once again, which is probably highly unlikely but hey! we all need to have at least a little bit of hope.

of course, make sure to take care of yourself, love, stay hydrated, and get a full eight hours of sleep everyday, i'll talk to you again soon :).

xoxo,♡ y/n

[ezradogteeth]

heyo james, I've got a question for ya :) (pls feel free to not answer if it's too personal!)

So, I've finally started making calls to get top surgery, and I was really excited! like wow this thing I've been looking forward to for years is finally gonna happen, i'll get to wear shirts without having to constantly think about how i look, etc.

but then I started thinking more about it (i guess because its becoming more Real?), and I'm more conflicted about getting rid of my chest. like, hairy tits go kinda hard actually, and like sensory wise they are fun for stimming. plus i feel INFINITE BUTCH SWAG with them. if it was just me by myself forever, I feel like I could be happy with them, but I also find myself yearning for like, being able to be shirtless in public and also having a smooth surface to run my hands down. stuff like that. (also especially the "not worrying about how I look when i put on a t-shirt thing)

so here's my question: I remember you making a comic about how happy you were to have had top surgery, even if u still missed your old chest sometimes, or felt conflicted about it. what do u miss about your old chest? do you ever feel dyphoric with ur current chest? if u have any other insights or things to say, pls do

(p.s. i am considering non-flat surgery, but i don't know how i feel abt that yet because currently I think it'd be the worst of both worlds for me. i don't think the results would be what i actually want: flat chest that's just slightly rounded across the whole thing so it's soft and kinda andro looking)

hi moth yayyy so exciting!! ty for ur question!! longish answer so its under the cut

first i wanted to say that when i first decided to look into having top surgery, after my consultation, i got wigged out and decided to hold off on it for a while. talking to the surgeon made me Really understand that it is a major surgery and everything that entails. a lot of it freaked me out and i ended up deciding to go for it almost a year after that, and i'm glad i took that time to reconsider.

second, i totally relate to the butch swag thing and sensory thing. since having top surgery i've seen a lot more art and photos and people irl who are transmasc/genderqueer with boobs, much more than i did pre-op, and it makes me feel very happy and i wish i saw more of it back then bc it wouldve made me feel a lot better.

i do think that inherently, i would have been able to make peace with my body as is and not had surgery. i was never super dysphoric about my chest and i liked having partners who found it attractive. like you said, if it was just me by myself, or if i was only ever around people who wouldn't see me having boobs as contradictory to me passing as male, i wouldn'tve minded as much.

but unfortunately it doesn't exist in a vacuum like that. the body is a public form, it's how you engage with the world. similar to what you said, i wanted to be able to be shirtless, not wear a binder, be able to pass sometimes, etc. i also wanted the sensory experience of like, laying down flat on my chest, or running without breasts moving which was always uncomfortable for me esp since i hated wearing bras.

i don't feel dysphoric about my current chest, it's more like a passing wistfulness for how my chest used to be or would've been now if i hadn't had surgery. sometimes it's just the feeling of absentmindedly holding my own boob i miss lol. since i had surgery pretty young there's things i feel like i might've missed out on. i live in a wayyy more transsexual ass place now where it's way more normal for a man to have, and show off, breasts, and for it to be attractive, and not negate his identity at all. and i think i would've slayyed like that. alas! on the day to day though, i've also been working more physical jobs where i want to pass as male, so binding would have been very uncomfortable and i'm glad i don't have to do it. and i get a ton of euphoria from being flat chested, and i'm lucky to be around people who find post-op transmasc chests cool and attractive. as much as i liked having partners be attracted to my chest pre-op, i've also learned that there Are people out there who find flat chests just as attractive, and i love having partners who are attracted to the masculinity of my body, because previously i'd often felt like i had to be feminine to be attractive

and re: a non-flat surgery option, i do think it's something to look into! i never really considered it cuz for me it wasn't really the size of my chest that mattered, more like entirely having breasts or not, and i didn't want to go thru the whole ordeal of surgery just to be dysphoric again or end up wanting to get a flat chest later on - though many people do get a reduction/semi-flat surgery and later have full top surgery and it's totally cool!!!

feel free to send a follow up if i didn't answer something in particular or you want me to elaborate on anything ^_^

[manor-tea-time]

do you ever wonder about your life? Hm… What’s a moment you cherish?

— 🦋

AAAA This was a really fun one! I enjoyed thinking about their thoughts on life in a more philosipal lens! Thank you Butterfly! :D

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Wayne -(-⊕ ζ ⊕-)< :

Wayne blinked, processing the question for a moment before speaking. "I do often reflect on many aspects of my life... mainly how unlucky I seem to be with my choices in the long run." The lampsmith made a long sigh, running a hand through his hair. Hesitance more than evident on his face and in his voice as he spoke. "Specifics are often hard in that regard for me. Apologies."

"As for what I cherish, I suppose the close bonds I have with others. I find it something that brings a warm glimmer of comfort to me... even in the most bleak of moments."

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Ivy ξ(❁) ⊕) ξ:

"What a interesting question for such a dainty creature to ask. Although, I'd imagine thats qutie ironic coming from me, Huhuhu!" The Costume Maker held up a hand to her face as she giggled. "To answer your query, I often question how my life might have led if certain things weren't scarred for good so to speak. I suppose a good example is if my mentor was actually here - or even alive for me to speak to."

"Its all listless dreaming on my part. Nothing quite ment to be held all too seriously I assure you." She shrugged, waving a hand dissmissively. "As for what I cherish, I'd have to say its my positive memories. They tend to make me stronger when I have to face a negitive one."

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

LeRoy 🗝️>(⊖▼⊗´)•ζ :

"Often when I take walks in the mornings. The quiet mornings out there coupled with your thoughts tends to allow them to wander a bit." He chuckled. "Its quite nice sometimes. Although, in the terms of your question, I suppose it may be a little more sad as my thoughts often drift to escaping this place. I'm unsure if it would even be possible to return to life as I knew it... Its a little discouraging."

"Ah! However, I do have many of my prized possessions here with me. I find it quite hard for a memory of someone to die if you have something that reminds you of them." He grinned. "Watches, rings, scrapbooks of photos, I cherish those memories and people greatly."

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Delilah Ⴑ(‘❁◡❁’)Ⴑ:

"Well, yeah. Of course I do - who doesn't is a better question." Delilah lightly teased. "I've had many questions to myself as I've been stuck here. I sometimes wonder if I should have tried to do things like reconsile with my family before this all happened. Would that have helped my case here in any way? Would it have made it worse? I don't think I'll get to know."

"On the brighter note of cherishings, I do appreciate being able to continue my art here regardless of the circumstance. I also appreciate the uh - community this place has. I certainly don't feel insane for any paranormal encounters I have. Most of the time people have seen worse!"

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Pip (◼⊗_⊗’)/* :

"Yeah." Pip mumbled, picking at a loose thread on his cloak. He'd need to fix that later. "Sometimes I wonder if I'd cause less trouble if I liked the subjects my parents deemed impressive or smart. Not that that matters much now, but it would be nice to know if they could be happy together again."

"I enjoy what I create and share with others. Storytelling is just so much more fun with company to react to the good parts with you."

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Miss Manni (,◡ _ ◡,):

"Oh, dear what an interesting question." Miss Manni tilted her hand into her palm, taking a moment to think. "I do. I'm often meloncolic about my life in the past, what could have been, and simply what is now. Its always quite the debocle to figure out why my fate led itself to here."

"Although, I must say, I do treasure the many faces I've gotten to meet over my new chance at life. The additional freedoms from certain societal standards has been quite the needed vacation for myself as well in a way. Its strange to think of a place like this in that light though, isn't it huhuhu!"

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Eleanor (´⬬_⬬`)< :

"I think of a lot of things. I often have time to reflect." Eleanor said, pausing for a moment as they set their pet rat down before they continued. "People's motivations, forgotten contexts hidden in memories, and much more. I wish to know how they'd change my views on my past."

"I appreciate the stage along with the new friends I have aqquired here."

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

The Shadowed Man /++ ◡ ++\:

"Hrmmmm... why yes, little butterfly. I do." A layered laugh echoed from the shadow as they tapped their hand upon their cane. "Although, I'm afraid I've existed far too long for such reflections to particularly make a interesting impact on me like the one you'd like."

"As for cherishings, I quite enjoy when humans have someting uniqe they bring to my interactions with them. Not only will it entertains us both, but it makes their pitiful existence so much more memorible."

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-