#aroiaghowrn

[bookwyrminspiration]

One: I am also very happy with how you've drawn Fitz! The whole art piece is incredible but my eyes kept drifting back to him because he's stunning

two: i started rambling about the au so. under a cut!

Coming up with OC names is so hard for me I'm so indecisive. I've got this one character from an oc story whose gone through like three major name changes and at this point I'm just like. Girl. Please.

Murad was another situation kinda like that, but I picked one that had the closest meaning to what I was looking for and used that as a placeholder, but i used it as a placeholder long enough that that became his name to me and now. Murad.

Also I'm thrilled to know the dread came through, because I was full of dread (in a good way) when writing it! I've lost all sense of what the story is like from the outside so it's fascinating to hear how you saw it.

I didn't actually know what would happen to Fintan and Murad when I started writing the ending. I knew the kotlcrew would win, I knew it would have to do with accepting their monstrosity and how that wasn't a bad thing. But when they were infiltrating the facility I was writing like...where is this going to end? What's going to happen? And then it hit me and I was like oh WOW. that sure is something.

It was this interesting experience because I kept writing the kotlcrew and being like...why are they doing these things? What are they doing next this feels so strange? And I realized it's because I was thinking about it like the ending was focused on them, when it wasn't. Sure, there's a part of them that reclaimed what this place had done to them and was facing it, but their true arc was the first of the fic, the one where they went from hating their wings to loving them. That was their story, and this new part, this ending, was about Fintan and Murad and Olivia and all the half-elves in the world. It wasn't about the kotlcrew, so it wasn't up to them what happened.

And when I got to Murad's death I had this like. Conundrum. Because I questioned whether or not it was the best path. Like. He's done wrong. But he's been wronged, and is genuinely passionate about what he's doing and thinks he's genuinely fixing things, even if he's misguided. And I don't think anyone is ever beyond hope of becoming a better person, so I had a moment of "should he live so he can become better? Even as horrible as he is?"

But then it all came down to Olivia. The finale was really about her. And even if Murad could become a better person, he'd hurt her so badly and taken such advantage of her meaning so well that it was like...there are consequences. And the consequence for this is that even though he could be better, even though he's not beyond hope, it's all over. Because Olivia needed to be free. And it's like...is it a perfect solution? No. Because he didn't get his chance, and Olivia had to make a choice that she will forever think about. She didn't chose to kill him, but she didn't stop her monster.

And there isn't a perfect solution is the thing. It doesn't exist. There's no coming out of that situation on top of it. This ending is just the one they happened to get. And it's messy, and it has consequences, but it's what happened. Which I think is fascinating.

Once the story presented Fintan and Murad's endings it was like I was watching it happen, not making it happen. Just following these characters through to the end as they destroyed themselves on so many levels. I'm glad you enjoyed the Icarus comparison, I think Summer had been icarus-posting so it was on my mind :)

To wildly change the subject though, Olivia's name is so fitting! There really wasn't any other consideration in my mind, and I think I even had the idea when I called her Phoenix. I just wanted to wait to see if it would stick, and stick it did. I can't imagine her as anything but an Olivia. I questioned it at first because it didn't sound elven enough, but then realized that if she's the daughter of half-elves that rejected their elven halves, she didn't need an elven name!

This has all been very rambly because a lot of thought and time went into the wings au and I have shared so little of everything behind it all and now it is. Exploding out of my head. but I'm very glad you enjoyed the story and stuck around with it! many thoughts all of them wings au I could talk about it all day.

thanks for letting me infodump and also for reading <3

okay one I love your new pfp! so satisfying to look at the shape of the face, and two! wings au fun fact the little girl saying her name was Phoenix the first time was me going "oh shit what's her name. she has a name but she hasn't told me yet." so it was a placeholder so I could figure it out and then share it when I could

but then that accidentally turned into a symbolic thing for her embodying the name of these people who had consumed all she was, and in her final act of deviance before she let herself be saved and leave it all behind she shed their name and took her own back, no longer a part of them, her own person once more. anyway. just thought that was neat

one, thank you so much!!! I never draw Fitz the way I want to and this is the first time I've been really happy at my design for him.

two, so fair bestie. I actually think that's hilarious. I think the number one reason why I don't have ocs is because I cannot come up with names, so I totally get that!!

And that symbolism flowed so naturally with the story too, honestly an amazing turn of events if you ask me. That entire scene was just so powerful and raw, it honestly filled me with dread bc as soon as the monsters calmed down I had two thoughts simultaneously.

a. Echo!!!!!! (even though that's a constant thought in my head tbh)

b. this bitch (Murad) is about to get decimated by his own creations.

So as soon as the monsters were off, before they even started crawling towards him I was filled with this deep dread for what was going to happen next. He's a bad guy, sure. But no one deserves to be torn apart so ruthlessly.

Especially w/ Olivia (which is a very fitting name btw. Idk why but as soon as she said it i was like yep this is a perfect name for her.) watching it happen.

idk!!! The symbolistic ending of both Fintan and Murad dying from their own hubris---you even compared Fintan to Icarus at one point which I enjoyed---was something that was so deeply disturbing but also fitting somehow.

Anyway. I've kind of just been reflecting upon how the story's ended, but please know I have been thinking about that climax this whole time. I can't even go out and be normal. I saw a black cat when we were out and I just solemnly started thinking abt Echo.