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sanders-specs · 5 years

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Why Deceit is such a big part of Thomas

So @arloghoul (Star) and I were talking the other night and we were debating the next Sanders Sides. We ended up getting into a conversation about Deceit and just why he’s such a present part of Thomas’s personality.

It was made clear that the reason Virgil - Anxiety - always has a say when Thomas needs to make decisions is because it goes beyond Virgil’s core functions of Thomas’s fight or flight or survival instincts. Anxiety gets heightened, he makes Thomas think over his choices two, three times over. It’s even touched on that Thomas’s teenage years was when Virgil became an even more prominent part of Thomas’s personality, and we would argue that that’s when Deceit really started showing up more too.

Because Thomas - and i should make clear I’m talking about Character Thomas - is gay, and being a lgbtq+ teenager, isn’t exactly easy.

Now, I’m not gay. I’m asexual, but I’m not going to claim that my own experiences is anything like anyone else’s. But something I realized was that I lied to myself a lot. I lied to my friends, I continue to lie to my family. When you’re not out to everyone, especially people close to you, especially yourself, you just continue to be something and someone you’re not.

It’s something Star, who is lgbtq+ themself, agreed with. It’s something I see many lgbtq+ people talk about. We lie to ourselves and our families. You could say being deceitful is something we all get pretty good at. At least when it comes out our identities.

I’d say it’s one of the reasons they didn’t want to get into the “girl phase” in the phases video. Thomas saying “that wasn’t fun for anyone” because...yeah, that wouldn’t have been fun if you’re constantly lying to yourself and trying to pretend like you’re someone you’re not.

I would also argue that, since the teenage years is really when people start thinking about dating and love and what it means for them, and we know that Virgil became - for lack of a better word - stronger in those years, then it would make sense if that’s where he and Deceit know each other from. Because when you’re lying all the time, and you know you’re lying, you get pretty anxious about it. when you’re hiding something, you get nervous and fear the consequences if anyone finds out. It would make sense if they worked together a lot in those years.

And why wouldn’t Thomas realize this? Because he’s comfortable with himself now. He doesn’t have to pretend anymore. He doesn’t want to think about those dark times. He doesn’t want to acknowledge how big of a part Deceit played in a huge part of his life, which is why I would argue is why everyone dislikes Deceit so much. But when you spend so long lying to yourself, it doesn’t just go away once you stop. It still happened.

It’s a topic i kinda hope Thomas - real Thomas - touches on at some point. If he and Joan and everyone else on the team is comfortable with, of course. It’s something a good bit of his audience would relate to, as well. I think it would be interesting.

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #virgil sanders #deceit sanders

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sanders-specs · 5 years

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Moonlight Sonata Chapter 4

Summary: Patton might be a prince of the Atlantic, but he’s not like his older brother, Roman. He’s not the heir to the throne or a great leader or talented. Then Patton meets Virgil, a human who makes him feel like he’s something more than just a prince, than just a tool for his abilities. It’s not long after that Patton starts to notice some changes, both in his feelings, his abilities, and Virgil himself. But something’s happening in the seven kingdoms, something big. Mermaids are going missing, and the most powerful kingdom has gone silent. Rulers start blaming each other, the threat of war becoming more real by the passing day. When things start to spread into the human world, Patton and Virgil are left with a choice, one that could aid the Atlantic or make the tensions even worse, tearing them apart in the process.

A/N: So I know there's not a lot of action going on right now, but honestly I love just taking time to explore the characters and world some, so bear with me. These two will meet before you know it :)

Warnings: Self-doubt, anxiety, cursing

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tag list: @februaryfun-blog @helloisthisusernametaken @justanotherpurplebutterfly @ilylogan @logically-trans @seas-space-and-stardust @arentordinaryvillainsadorable @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @kaitoanxiety @crofters-jam @arloghoul

Great goddess above, how could he be so stupid?

Patton swam as fast as he could, not paying much attention to where he was going, his heart beating faster and faster with every flick of his tail. Eventually, he had to slow down and let himself calm down.

It was completely dark at this point, the moonlight dim through the water. Patton’s eyes adjusted, but he really could rely on his senses at this point. It wasn’t good to be out in open water like this at night, not when all of the creatures from the deep came up to feed.

He needed to get home, he knew that he needed to get home, but his mind was racing too quickly for him to think straight.

She’d seen him. She’d seen him! How could he let this happen? How could he let his stupid curiosity get the better of him? He’d been so careful all these years, why was it now that he started being so careless?

Patton put his head in his hands, trying to calm himself down. His father would never let Patton out of his sight again. Roman would never trust him again. He couldn’t even imagine the look of disappointment on his mother’s face when she found out…

No. No, they couldn’t know. It was only a little one, right? Little ones always have a big imagination, at least their little ones did. Erywan even said that human little ones often believed in mermaids until they grew older. So, no one would believe her if she told them, right? He didn’t have anything to worry about, not really. She wouldn’t be able to prove anything, anyway. Little ones were always dependent on their elders, so it’s not like she’d come out on the ocean on a boat looking for him.

Right?

Patton chewed his lip and started swimming again, keeping a fast pace to get home quicker.

He’d have to figure out how to erase her memory. That was the protocol for something like this wasn’t it? If they could pull it off anyway. Patton knew he’d had the ability, he’d practiced, but he wasn’t perfect at it quite yet. He didn’t really want to risk accidentally wiping her entire memory.

He had to try, though. No one would keep something like this a secret from the king, no matter how much Patton begged, bribed, or threatened (if he even had to resort to that). Heck, he wasn’t sure he could keep a secret from his family. But he didn’t want to disappoint them. He didn’t want them freaked out. It was only a little one after all.

He’d go back tomorrow and then it would be like it never happened.

Feeling a little sick at the fact that he was now keeping a secret from his family, he swam back to the palace, thankfully avoiding any predators, and swam through the window to his room, where he pretended not to notice Clover’s exasperated sigh from the other side of the door.

“Abby we’ve been out here for two hours. I don’t think the mermaids are out right now,” Virgil said, wincing slightly as he shifted Abby on his shoulders.

“It’s a big ocean,” Abby said matter-of-factly, “we have to be patient.”

Virgil sighed and winced again. Abby, it seemed, has decided that she did not want to get into the water anymore, so she made Virgil her watch post. He supposed that after what happened the day before that he couldn’t blame her, but how did she expect to actually find anything that lived in the water if she didn’t get in it?

“Abs, I know you really want this, but you’re not as light as you were when you were three, and I can only take so much of this.”

Abby groaned. “Okay…back to the sand!” She shouted, wrapping her arms around Virgil’s head. This made it significantly harder to climb over the rocks they’d been stationed at and back to the beach. As soon as his feet touched the sand, though, Virgil took Abby off his shoulders and set her down.

“What were you two doing?”

Virgil jumped and nearly yelped, whirling around to see Logan watching them. “What the hell!” He exclaimed, then froze and looked down at his sister. “Don’t tell Mom and Dad.”

Abby made a zip motion over her lips, rolling her eyes in the process.

Virgil looked back at Logan. “Where did you come from?”

“Uh, my house,” Logan said, as if this information should be obvious.

“Right,” Virgil shook his head, trying to calm his racing heart-beat. “You’ve really gotta warn someone before you just surprise them like that.”

“Well I told you yesterday that I tend to take walks along the beach for my own health and wellbeing, so I didn’t think that it would come as much of a surprise to you to see me again.”

“That doesn’t mean that I know your schedule, dude,” Virgil said.

Logan sighed and shook his head. “Noted. You never answered my question.”

“What question?”

“What you two were doing our there,” Logan motioned to the bundle of rocks.

“We were mermaid hunting!” Abby exclaims excitedly. Virgil bit his lip and tried to not glare at her. Yesterday she was hiding behind him and barely able to talk to Logan. Now she wanted to tell him all about the mermaids?

Logan raised his eyebrows. “Mermaids?” He looked from Virgil to Abby, as if trying to figure out if they were kidding.

“Uh…yeah,” Virgil said. Great, now his neighbor is going to think that he’s crazy.

Logan was silent for a minute before he looked out at the ocean. “Well, it’s late in the afternoon, so don’t you think that the mermaids would be getting dinner about now? To prepare for the evening? They have to eat after all.”

Something in Abby’s eyes lit up. “Of course! Hold on, I need to get my notebook!” she turned and ran back up to the house.

Virgil looked at Logan. “Dinner?”

Logan shrugged. “She’s young and has a big imagination. Although the idea of mermaids existing is preposterous, it would be cruel to tell her that. Besides, killing curiosity is an even bigger crime. After all, it is because of children deciding to go mermaid hunting that we have had explorers and scientist and biologist.”

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience,” Virgil said.

Logan suddenly found the sand very interesting. “Why was she sitting on your shoulders if she was supposedly looking for mermaids? Isn’t that counterproductive?”

Virgil rubbed his neck at the reminder, letting him change the subject. “She’s a bit weary of the water, I think.”

Logan frowned. “Yet she wants to look for sea life?”

“Yeah don’t question it too much, you’ll just get a headache.”

“So…you just…let her climb on your shoulders to look for non-existent sea life?”

“You don’t have any younger siblings, do you?” Virgil asked, amused.

Logan looked confused at that. “No, what does that have to do with—”

He was cut off by Abby bursting out of the house and running down to them. “I’m writing everything down in here,” she told Logan proudly, showing off her bright pink composition notebook. “That way I never forget anything.”

“Ah, scientist call those field journals,” Logan said. “May I?” He held out his hand.

Abby furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and looked at Virgil, who bit back a smile.

“He’s asking if he can look at it,” Virgil explained.

“Oh! Okay but only if you promise to be super careful with it,” Abby said.

Logan smiled and took the notebook from her outstretched hands. “Of course.” He started flipping through the pages, reading Abby’s messy handwriting. He stopped on the page with Abby’s picture tapped to it. “Is this the mermaid?” he asked.

Abby nodded eagerly, bouncing on her toes. Virgil had to hold back another smile. He had to admire her excitement over all of this.

“It’s incredibly detailed,” Logan muttered seemingly to himself as he studied it. “Why are the gills not on the neck?”

“They were on his sides.”

For a moment, Logan looked like he wanted to argue, then straightened and cleared his throat. “Right, of course.” He snapped the notebook close and handed it back to her. “Well, it seems that you are well on your way to collecting data for these mermaids. You know, my mother has a bunch of journals just like these. She’s a biologist so she knows all about looking for new sea life.”

“That’s so cool!” Abby exclaimed, then looked at Virgil. “Virgil, Virgil, do you think she can help us look for the mermaid?”

“Uh,” Virgil glanced at Logan. “You’d have to ask her Abs.” his phone beeped then. It was his mother telling him to get Abby ready for them to go to one of their father’s restaurants for dinner. “We gotta go.”

Abby pouted. “Awww!”

Virgil ruffled her hair. “Don’t worry, we can continue mermaid hunting after school tomorrow.”

“Oh, you’ll be starting tomorrow?” Logan asked. “It is a good thing, otherwise catching up with your classes would be more of a headache than it needs to be.”

“Don’t remind me,” Virgil said, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, we gotta get ready to go to dinner. See you later.”

Abby waved at him before running towards the house.

“See you tomorrow, Virgil,” Logan said, and Virgil nodded before racing after his sister.

Patton waited all day for the little one to get in the water. If he could just get close enough, he could erase her memories and be done with it. She just…wouldn’t get in the water.

It didn’t help that her brother was there the entire time, holding her. He remembered the little one being a little afraid of getting in the water the day before, but surely that couldn’t last forever right?

Then he thought about the fact that getting even close to a shark after hearing about the fight his grandfather had gotten in still terrified him and he felt his shoulders slump. What was he going to do? Maybe if he showed some signs again, it would draw her in? No, he couldn’t risk her brother seeing him either.

He looked up at the humans again, just in time to see the boy stumble backwards, making Abby shriek. Patton found himself smiling at the two as Abby clung to her brother and he stopped tilting back and forth. It was clear that the boy was frustrated, but he continued helping his sister.

It was cute, Patton thought, that the boy was so willing to help Abby. Even as he scowled and blew his hair out of his face. He hadn’t noticed the day before, but now that he was standing closer to the water, Patton saw that the boy had purple hair. For a moment, Patton forgot why he was there. He hadn’t even known humans could have purple hair! It fell right in his eyes, which looked dark like his sister’s. His skin was pale, and he wore dark cloths to cover himself.

Patton bit his lip as he smiled. Sure, the boy looked grumpy, but it was cute, in it’s own way.

He blinked as Abby started shouting again, snapping him out of his thoughts. He ducked back below water, shaking his head. No, he couldn’t get distracted with this. He swam the length of the surf, back and forth, keeping an eye on the humans. He checked the scrolled he’d grabbed from the library, looking over the instructions on memory wiping. He had it memorized by the afternoon, though it was useless when he couldn’t even get to the Little One.

When he surfaced again to check on the humans, he was slightly surprised to see that they were now back on the sand rather than the rocks and also were joined by a third. This one looked to be the same age as Abby’s brother, with something covering their eyes—he vaguely remembered finding something like them in a shipwreck. A journal he’d found called them glasses.

From where Patton was, he couldn’t hear everything they were saying, but when Abby handed the other human the little book she’d been writing in all day, he figured that she was sharing whatever the contents contained.

Patton sighed and ducked behind the rocks again. He didn’t know what he was going to do at this point. He couldn’t admit to his family that he’d messed up this badly. They would never trust him to leave the castle again, and he didn’t think he could stand being trapped there.

Patton peeked out from behind the rock long enough to see Abby run back into her home, and her brother followed. The third human watched them go before turning back to the ocean. He stood there, watching the waves. Patton dared to get a little closer, straining to hear anything.

“Mermaids huh?” the human said to himself. “these new neighbors will be interesting, won’t they?”

Patton cursed to himself. So, she had shared what she’d seen. He could only hope that the older humans acted as Erwyan said they would and would simply write it off as the Little One being imaginative.

He sighed and sank down to the sea floor. He’d just have to keep trying and do his best to keep anyone from finding out. He looked up at the surface, where the light was starting to fade. He would have to get back soon, before they sent Roman, or worse, Clover after him.

He tucked the scroll into his carrier and started towards home.

Chapter 5

#sanders sides #patton sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #fanfiction #my fic #moonlight sonata #tw self-doubt #tw anxiety #tw cursing

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