#arjay this is very similar to my rant about the folsense fashion failure underneath the white suit from movie gold

[cockmcstuffins]

alright so now i’m subjecting you all to my opinions on the new film red casual outfits because what am i if not the occasional one piece design critic so in order of worst to best we have

zoro: again my man is wearing joots and yes it’s entirely possible it’s the same situation as his year one outfit where they just don’t draw the line clear and concise between pants and boots but paired with the shirt that looks less like a shirt and more like a wayward drifting bag he lifted his arms up and let fall onto his body i am not putting it past him. all their attempts from recent movies to make him look ‘cool and effortless’ are translating more into ‘no one on the crew can get him into more clothes than necessary much like a baby and/or toddler and they just put on as few articles of clothing as they can get him into in order to be considered legally decent enough to appear in public’ but everyone owes me ten bucks if that shirt becomes a tearaway because she’s holding on by a thread she’s struggling she is clinging

sanji: i am yet again denied ‘sanji in a cardigan’ for the upteemth time in a row and as the hate crimes continue so does the god awful combo of SALMON BOAT SHORTS and a blazer in a true testament to my-parents-own-a-boat-and-it’s-my-personality fashion in a nausea-inducing pastel ketchup and mustard a la carte a la fart look. i have seen this man, i have encountered this man, i can name a time/date/name and place and my friends will know exactly who i am talking about. there is a crate and barrel with this man’s name on it, there is a california pizza kitchen he should be vaping near. and yes i am not ignoring the scarf he appears to have tucked into his hane’s t-shirt like he’s trying to appropriate the ascot. you are not peter facinelli’s carlise, you will never be peter facinelli’s carlisle, and peter facinelli’s carlisle i am so sorry an ugly bitch would ever do this to you.

nami: boring! sorry but we’ve seen this combination of bikini top/indistinguishable short bottom either skirt or shorts/heels so many times on nami since post time-skip that it seems like that’s actually just her skin and she’s some kind of eldritch sex horror alien who can’t make interesting fashion choices because the design team is legally obligated to draw her with her cooter and pooter on full fucking display. with the music festival/concert theme, we could have seen a myriad of interesting fashion choices for her but instead we get the same shit, different color of an outfit that oddly has schoolgirl vibes between a plaid skirt and a button-up shirt tied around her waist that i’m 90% sure is an accessory recycled from the previous movie. it’s also in a starfish orange or kroger brand salmon that feels like the most disingenuous choice because it’s just her usual color scheme but watered down. disappointed, but not surprised. also her boots look like watering cans i hate when they give them those fucking shoes.

luffy: if anybody has a same-outfit syndrome it’s luffy and that has been the case for the past 20+ years of one piece if there’s a way luffy can wear jean shorts and shirts he will wear jean shorts and shirts if there is a way he can manage to wear jeans shorts and shirts at his own wedding, funeral, sojourn past the pearly gates i have it on good authority he will do exactly that THAT BEING SAID it’s light, it’s airy, it’s giving me fun, it’s giving me day out and while i am sure the vest has some other purpose and may be a different accessory i am picturing it as his equivalent of a fanny pack or old man fishing vest like he’s got juice boxes in that thing or he’s got adderal he’s got whatever is going to get him through this concert/festival and god bless him honestly we love a consistent king

chopper: i can never be mad at any of the choices for chopper because he seems to fit a very specific niche for the design team because he’s a fucking reindeer but it’s not uncommon for his outfit in his brain point form to be completely indiscernible as anything other than jacket and shorts until he happens to switch to heavy point or another form and then we can see the crimes. i’m not mad i’m just unimpressed with yet another modified theme hat, accessories out the wazoo he’s definitely not going to be able to hold onto (or the animators won’t bother to make him hold onto as the movie goes), and what appears to just be a thematic mess that speaks to nothing about chopper as a character. she’s a bit bland is all i’m saying, your honor, she can do better!

usopp: another theme case where usopp’s outfits are either completely unique or (still unique) but ruled entirely by the theme of the movie. we don’t hate that for him we love to see it actually, but the kiss party city costume is exactly that- a clear and deliberate reference, nothing that really gives his character anything extra, and a fucking eyesore amidst the rest of the team and that’s definitely on purpose. usopp will either lose pieces of this outfit as the movie plays or the change into their end-game outfits will be super quick because i really don’t see him holding onto this one outside of the visual gimmick/gag it’s supposed to provide. but you know what it’s camp and he even technically has a cod piece so yes this is higher up on the list than the others fuck you.

robin: another boring one sorry about it! i like the leather jacket and i like the attempt at asymmetry with the two different boots and the leg accessory but it’s very much a casual concert goer look and too grounded in realism for a one piece movie outfit when paired with the rest of her crewmates in this batch. i have no problems with this outfit on its own, i would make no changes, but if she could have had any other outfit she wouldn’t be the same missed opportunity as nami. like it’s a fucking concert and the design team just went frozen and made our two female crew members pretty and practical. robin could have had any number of face paint designs or hair accessories or spikes or leather or anything and we got like. a sundress to cover her absolute lack of existing ass or pelvic bones.

franky: i can’t fault franky for being what is probably the one character the design team has fun with every time without fail but the beatbox is the same gimmicky, won’t last very long or won’t feature super prominently because it’s too hard to draw look that we’ll probably see with usopp. as an unfortunate side effect this is giving me less music festival and more optimus prime but like a shitty cardboard optimus prime someone made in the 1980s in their basement because transformers was cool but their mom didn’t want to get the store bought costume and if they showed up to trick or treating without it they would be mocked endlessly at the 4th grade water cantina. and his expression in most of the promo art is not not giving me that? so i dunno man

brook & jinbe: perfection as usual. glad to see jinbe is joining brook in impeccable design for the movies club. i have no notes.