#arielle's? it's exactly how she wants you to see her. confident. in control. ready to wreck things

[mrnnki]

I think one of the more interesting things I do when designing characters is give them a "public face." Whatever expressions they have on a ref sheet are the way I want people to perceive them at first glance, regardless of whatever they're actually like

[ververa]

Family Portrait part 1

Wilhemina Venable x Cordelia Goode + Myrtle Snow headcanon

A/N: Writing it wasn’t planned, but since I came up with it and worked on it with @misssmephisto​ I though it can’t go to waste. And given that Cordelia and Wilhemina keep saving my life, it can be considered as some kind of tribute to them.

Anyways, I saw some gifs and pictures and I can’t unsee them. So, Wilhemina and Myrtle are related and you can’t change my mind about it. 

Hope you enjoy it!

Myrtle Snow never talked about her family. Even Cordelia, who was like a daughter for her had no idea who Myrtle’s family was. It was no secret, though the older witch preferred not to talk about it. No wonder, since she and her younger sister hadn’t necessarily had a good relationship.

There were only the two of them and despite the fact that powers were, kind of, being handed down from generation to generation - Myrtle’s sister didn’t have them. She wasn’t a witch and that seemed to be cause for their conflict. The conflict that they had never resolved and it only got worse with time.

Myrtle had always been a mild-tempered, compassionate person, she never meant any harm to anyone - especially to the people she loved and cared about - unless they tried or did hurt her. Because then she was capable of anything. Yet for most of the time she was calm and did her best to support her sister. She never wanted to argue with the younger woman and if she could, she would most likely give her half of her power. Though it was impossible. No matter how much Myrtle wanted them to have a good relationship, her sister hated her and there was nothing she could do about it.

She was in her early twenties when she moved to New Orleans and started studying at Miss Robichaux's Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies. That was where she met Fiona Goode - the very first person, who had incredible ability to make Myrtle’s blood boil. At that time young Snow focused on herself - improving her abilities, getting better at controlling her powers and studying the history of the coven. She had no more time to worry about her sister’s insecurities. She still did think about her, but her sister didn’t even want to talk to her, so Myrtle gave up.

It was a few years later when Myrtle found out her sister was seeing someone. There wouldn’t be anything wrong with that, but the man her sister claimed to be in love with was a warlock. Myrtle may have still been young, but she already had a chance to get to know the warlocks better. And she knew very well that being around them didn’t mean any good. She obviously tried to convince her sister not to marry him, but the younger woman was stubborn. She wanted to prove that she could do whatever she wanted even though she wasn’t a witch, and so she married the warlock to spite her sister. Ever since then the two of them stopped talking completely.

Myrtle resided at New Orleans. She stayed at Miss Robichaux’s Academy and became the headmistress. She often found herself wanting to contact her sister, but she never did. After all her sister hated her and the possibility of it changing was really low. 

The redhead witch still hoped that one day she’d get to make up with her sister, but unfortunately that never happened, because Myrtle’s sister got sick and died. The woman died and orphaned her child. Myrtle didn’t get to know her niece, but she wanted and was ready to take care of the girl, though her brother-in-law didn’t even let her meet the child. And that’s when Myrtle lost her family for real.

It wasn’t easy, though luckily for Myrtle, who was pretty devastated, Cordelia appeared in her  life. Fiona had never been the best mother and she definitely didn’t have good relations with her daughter. That’s why Cordelia got so attached to Myrtle. She needed someone who would take care of her and Myrtle definitely did it better than Fiona. In fact she became Cordelia’s mother figure. She gave the young witch far more than Cordelia had expected. Myrtle treated Cordelia as if she was her own daughter. She taught her basically everything and gave all her love to the young witch.

Cordelia and the Coven were Myrtle’s new family. Her past became a closed book and she was sure she would never have to go back to it again. Though she was wrong.

Her past kept haunting her, no matter how hard she tried to avoid it. Things got really complicated when the warlock - her brother-in-law died too. Both Myrtle and Cordelia were supposed to attend the funeral.

Cordelia was convinced that attending the funeral was just a kind of formality for both of them, since she was the new Supreme and Myrtle was the Council member. Yet she could feel that her aunt was really nervous about it. She had no idea why, but didn’t want to pressure Myrtle into telling her.

The funeral took place at the Hawthorne School, where the late warlock had been teaching for years. At first nothing seemed suspicious, yet soon Cordelia’s attention was drawn by the redhead woman - the warlocks’ guest of honour. The Supreme couldn’t help, but noticed how the woman and Myrtle were really similar. And she got curious who the other woman was “Myrtle… she looks like you when you were her age” “basically identical”

As Ariel Augustus was giving his speech, Cordelia started with her questions. At first Myrtle tried to ignore her “you know what they say, petal? Curiosity killed the cat”.  But Cordelia was stubborn and determined to find out. “Myrtle, pleaseeee tell me!”

And the older witch gave in. Before Augustus was done, Myrtle managed to explain to Cordelia that she had a sister, who got married to the warlock and the woman, who looked just like her was their daughter. Cordelia was dumbfounded at first “You had a sister??? And you have a niece??? Why didn’t you tell me?”. The answer she got definitely wasn’t what she had expected, but suddenly everything started making sense.

The only family Cordelia had ever known consisted of two women - Myrtle and Fiona, because after Hank betrayed her and turned out to be a witch hunter she just erased him from her mind and life. All that made Cordelia feel the need of meeting the other woman. She tried to convince Myrtle to talk to her niece, but the older witch didn’t want to do it. She wasn’t sure if that was a good idea, yet Cordelia - in a fit of confidence - approached the woman.

Myrtle, of course, tried to stop her, but Cordelia just smirked “oh, don’t worry, auntie. I’m simply introducing myself as the Supreme”

And she did. Which wasn’t necessary, because the redhead knew very well who Cordelia was. Although she remained polite and introduced herself as well “I’m Wilhemina Venable”

They shook each others’ hands and Cordelia felt a weird kind of thrill. She couldn’t explain what it was, but she knew for sure that Wilhemina felt that too.

She indeed did feel it, but she wasn’t going to admit that she found Cordelia incredibly attractive. She was the Supreme after all, so the power and charm were radiating from her and Wilhemina was smitten. She was sure her heart skipped a beat when Cordelia offered herself in case Wilhemina would want to talk to someone or need help with anything. She seemed really nice. She definitely was better than all the warlocks, but Wilhemina still was closed off - mainly because she noticed Myrtle. 

They may not have known each other, but Wilhemina remembered her from some old photographs her mother had showed her, when Wilhemina was still a child.

And Cordelia as an observant woman and the Supreme immediately knew why the redhead was hesitant and because she truly wanted to get to know Wilhemina better, she tried to change her mind “I’m sure Myrtle will be delighted. The two of you probably have a lot to catch up on”

And as much as Wilhemina hated it, she couldn’t say ‘no’ to the witch, so she agreed.

Though the meeting definitely didn’t go the way Cordelia had planned. It was harder than she had thought to actually get Myrtle and Wilhemina to talk to each other. The Supreme did her best, yet her efforts resulted in the two women having a bad argument.

Wilhemina had never been told what exactly had happened between her mother and Myrtle or why her mother had ‘left’ the family. And so she held anger towards her aunt, because she was the only one who knew and could tell her the truth, but never reached out.

And maybe she really was too harsh and crossed some lines calling Myrtle “an old hag” but Wilhemina wasn’t the one to apologise, so she just left the Academy banging the door on her way out.

Myrtle may have been a bit calmer. She did understand that Wilhemina could be angry, but that didn't mean she was going to put up with such kind of behavior of "some spoiled child". And so she just huffed and slammed the door of her room with such force that a few photographs fell from the wall and crashed.

And there was Cordelia standing at the hall - not knowing whether she should go after Wilhemina or Myrtle.

She couldn’t help and felt guilty, after all the idea of meeting was hers. Yet the failure didn’t mean she was going to give up. In fact it was the other way. It kind of motivated her. And because she knew she wouldn’t manage to get the two other women to talk to each other, she decided to solve the problem herself.

Cordelia started with talking to Myrtle “Auntie, she’s your family after all. You may not have the best relationship with your sister, but you can fix it. You have your chance now - with Wilhemina”. And Cordelia was right and Myrtle knew it, but she needed time to decide what exactly she should do

At first, Cordelia didn’t plan on talking to Wilhemina, but she was an empathetic person and she knew the redhead was on her own and had no one to talk to. She also knew that making up her mind would take Myrtle forever, so she decided to go to Wilhemina’s workplace.

Seeing Cordelia was the last thing Venable had expected, but, even though she would never admit it, she was happy to see the witch. That’s why she immediately agreed when the Supreme asked if she’d like to grab a coffee with her.

 They both really enjoyed themselves, so they started seeing each other more often.

Wilhemina didn't want to meet with Myrtle, so she obviously wasn't going to go to the Academy, but Cordelia understood it. The witch didn't pressure and was visiting Wilhemina instead of Venable going there. 

And they both really enjoyed those meetings. They loved talking to each other and no matter how much they talk they never got bored.

Before they even realised it they were meeting almost everyday. And the line between being friends and lovers started blurring. 

And normally Wilhemina wouldn’t allow anyone to touch her, let alone sleep on top of her. But Cordelia was tired and at some point of watching some movie her head just fell on Wilhemina’s shoulder and the redhead was surprised to say the least. She tensed for a moment not sure what was going on, but she soon heard Cordelia’s steady breathing and soft snoring and not knowing why she just smiled. She didn’t have the heart to wake Cordelia, so she just let her sleep and then pretended nothing had happened when the blonde woke up at the end of the film. 

Wilhemina got so used to Cordelia that when the witch wasn’t around she was just angry and frustrated and it was hard to bear with her. 

It wasn’t exactly the same with Cordelia. Her good nature prevented her from being mean, though she did find herself thinking about Wilhemina all the time, which made focusing on her work pretty hard and so she ended up being frustrated as well. That’s why even after a long and tiring day she always went to Wilhemina’s. She just needed to see the other woman - even if for a while.

It was one of those evening, when Cordelia was really tired. She picked Wilhemina up from work and was going to drive her home, but Venable noticed the tiredness in the Supreme’s eyes, so she offered to drive instead. And there they were - on the way to Wilhemina’s apartment.

They didn’t talk much, but none of them minded. They just enjoyed the presence of each other. Though at some point Cordelia’s exhaustion took its toll. She accidentally brushed her hand against Wilhemina’s. She was ready to apologise - knowing that the redhead didn’t like being touched, yet before she managed to say anything Wilhemina gently took her hand and intertwined their fingers together.

That took Cordelia by surprise, but after a while she relaxed and smiled looking at Wilhemina, who didn’t averted her eyes from the road.

Ever since then they started being more affectionate and their meetings turned into dates.

It, of course, didn’t go unnoticed at the Academy. It was impossible not to notice how Cordelia was leaving every evening and then coming back late at night or in the morning. And the girls started teasing her about it.

Only Myrtle was still unaware of what was going on. “Where are you going this late, Delia?” “She’s going on a date with her girlfriend” Queenie would  answer for Cordelia. “Girlfriend? Delia? What are they talking about?” “I need to go auntie”

But even though the Supreme left, she knew she would have to talk to Myrtle eventually. 

Though before Cordelia had a chance to organise it, her aunt managed to figure out everything. She wasn’t necessarily happy that Delia and Wilhemina were dating and so she decided to tell the redhead off. “Well, I guess I can’t make my dear Delia stop liking you, so I decided to talk to you instead” “I just want to say that if you hurt Delia, I won’t hesitate to hurt you”

Wilhemina remained calm. She only looked at the witch and smiled “I don’t want to hurt her. She doesn’t deserve to be hurt by anyone. She deserves all the best things in the world”. And in that moment Wilhemina realized how much Cordelia had changed her, because normally she would get furious and would most likely argue with the other woman.

Next thing Wilhemina knew was that she was at the Academy’s door. She agreed to once again try and talk to her aunt. She wasn’t convinced it was a good idea, but since Cordelia cared and wanted her to do it, she had no choice.

The Supreme was pretty nervous, but she hoped that this time it would go well. Though she, obviously was wrong.

Yet another argument between Myrtle and Wilhemina started. Cordelia didn’t even know what was the reason this time. She just sit there awkwardly, while the other two women were yelling at each other. 

Things got even worse, when Myrtle made some comment on the way her sister had brought up Wilhemina. “Maybe she’d have done it better if she hadn’t been left all alone” “She was alone, because she wanted to be. I tried to reach out so many times… But she was stubborn and full of pride. And you’re just like her” “I’m nothing like her. You don’t even know me. It’s easy for you to judge, because you never had to deal with everything that she dealt” 

And Myrtle was about to say something, but before she managed Cordelia rapidly stood up and suddenly the flames in the fireplace spurted. “Stop shouting at each other and sit down” the Supreme demanded and both women immediately followed her order

“Could you stop turning every meeting into a battlefield? I’d really appreciate if we just could have a normal dinner, like other families do. Is it too much to ask for?!”

Wilhemina and Myrtle looked at each other and then back at furious Cordelia. They had nothing more to say. In fact they forgot they were arguing, because they both cared about Cordelia more than anything else.

Though the Supreme kept talking. She had gone through old coven records and files, she had even met with one of the warlocks to solve the situation.

And so she explained that it was Wilhemina’s father who wanted to isolate her mother and then when she did manage and send Myrtle a letter it was Fiona who took it, because she hated Myrtle and wanted to crush her heart.

And after that both Myrtle and Wilhemina were speechless. The older witch is the first to spoke. She told Wilhemina how she argued with her mother, who was jealous of her powers and how she begged her not to marry the warlock “I was sure nothing good could come out of that marriage, though… I wasn’t completely right. After all you are their child and you are something good”. Myrtle also admitted that it was hard for her to be around Wilhemina, because she reminded her of her sister and that she hadn’t had a chance to talk to her before her death.  

Wilhemina said basically the same thing - that Myrtle reminded her that she was all alone in the world after her mother’s death. At which the older witch shook her head “That is not true, my dear. You have me and Cordelia.

And that’s when Cordelia decided to make a move. “You know… I’ve been wondering… It’s been a while since we’re together. And… I thought that maybe you could move in. I mean if that’s what you want. Of course, you could have your own room if you don’t want to share one with me-” “I’d be happy to share room with you Cordelia… and live here with you”

Myrtle only smiled looking at them. She couldn’t remember seeing the Supreme being this happy and so she was happy as well.

One week later Wilhemina moved in.

Cordelia obviously wanted to help with moving, but she had to work. And so she felt guilty. And when she finally made it to the bedroom she was ready to apologise, but she didn't have a chance.

The Supreme was taken aback as soon as she entered the room. There were candles everywhere and a huge bouquet of Cordelia’s favourite flowers. And then Wilhemina entered - all dressed up and the witch couldn’t help a huge smile on her face. “Wow! You… You look amazing, Mina” and Wilhemina just smirked at her reaction “I figured out you may need some help relaxing, Miss Supreme”

At the very beginning Cordelia was worried, because she almost always had a lot of work and didn’t want to leave Mina alone. Though the redhead assured her that she understands “You’re the Supreme and you have your responsibilities. And I completely understand it, Delia and I could never be angry at you for having to fulfil them”.

And they just lived a normal, peaceful life… until one day…

It was their day off and they decided to go on a walk. They were in the park, walking slowly through the alleys talking about everything and nothing, when Cordelia’s eyes laid on a woman with a stroller.

Wilhemina didn’t notice it at first. She kept talking, but nothing getting any response from the blonde she looked at her. She didn’t realize what the Supreme was looking at or why was so so hypnotized, so she asked “What are you looking at?” And she regretted it immediately.

Cordelia faced her and looked at her with puppy eyes “I want a baby”

That definitely wasn’t what Wilhemina had expected. She tensed up and despite trying not to, she got a bit nervous “I… I didn’t… You never mentioned you want kids”

And the witch just kept staring at her “Pleaseeee” and Venable couldn’t help, but began to panic. Yet she still tried to play it cool “I mean… You know it’s not physically possible for us to have a baby”. Wilhemina was sure that her statement closed the conversation, but she was wrong.

Cordelia seemed to be unbothered by her words. She simply smirked “Well, not to the average person, it’s not. But I’m the Supreme”. And Wilhemina just rolled her eyes, already done with the blonde “I think we should go back home now, before you see more children and decide to have a kindergarten of your own” “Oh well, I definitely could have more than one child!” “I bet you could, but it’s not the time and place, Cordelia” “Oh come on, Mina! Just imagine how amazing that could be! Our own precious little children. We could have a little girl and maybe a boy. We could name her after your mother and if we have a boy we could name him Wilhelm”

And that definitely was too much for Wilhemina “God forbid! Cordelia, I’m begging you… enough talking about those little annoying creatures” But the Supreme pouted, knowing she had Mina wrapped around her finger, hoping it would work.

“Cordelia, don’t make me do it” the redhead said raising her eyebrow.

And they just stood there, looking at each other, when suddenly a ball hit Wilhemina’s cane and right after that a little boy showed up apologizing “It’s okay. No need to apologize. Right Mina?”

Wilhemina was ready to tell the child off, but she couldn't do it. Not when Cordelia was looking at her that way. And she gave in. She let Cordelia talk about kids.

“Imagine them calling you ‘mommy’” Wilhemina knew she had no chance to win with Cordelia, so she decided to try the other way “If it’s really that important to you, I can call you ‘daddy’”

And Mina knew it worked, because the blonde immediately stopped talking and her cheeks turned red.

Wilhemina was sure that the case was closed and she won, as she always did. But she was wrong.

The two of them rarely argued. Not that they didn’t have reasons to argue. It was just Cordelia who preferred to agree with Mina rather than to quarrel. She came to the conclusion that as the Supreme she could let Wilhemina be right or rather make her think that  she thinks she’s right. It just seemed to be easier.

Though this one time Cordelia wasn’t going to concede. 

Of course she loved her girls as if they were her children, but she truly wanted to have a child of her own. And it was her last chance to achieve her dream.

She was well aware that as the Supreme she would fade eventually, that’s why she needed Wilhemina. She wanted to make sure that there would be someone, who would take care of the baby.

Mina knew it all. She knew how much Cordelia wanted to be a mother, but that didn’t mean Wilhemina was going to agree. The idea of having a baby was terrifying.

If that wasn’t enough, she hated when Delia mentioned she was going to die someday, so that the new Supreme could rise. 

Wilhemina was absolutely terrified of doing everything wrong. She didn’t want their child to hate her, but she was sure it would, because as she said, she wasn’t a good one to be a mother.

Mina may have tried to pretend she didn’t care, but she did care. She hated to see Cordelia being sad, so, trying not to argue anymore she began avoiding her lover. And the Supreme noticed it immediately.

The witch wanted to understand Wilhemina’s behaviour. She truly tried, but couldn’t. It hurt her when Wilhemina became so distant.

Though instead of talking to each other, they both chose to confide in Myrtle. The old witch wanted to help. She really did, but couldn’t. In fact all she could do was to try and convince both women to talk to each other. Though both Wilhemina and Cordelia were stubborn. It went on with them not talking for a week or so.

And it was too much. Cordelia was done, she couldn’t take it anymore and so she decided to finally face Wilhemina.

At first Delia tried and was calm. She didn’t mean to argue. Actually she hoped they could have a normal conversation. But as Wilhemina began deflecting whatever the Supreme said, Cordelia snapped.”I gave you everything. I take care of you. I keep helping you and making it look as if you were the one helping me. I always go gently with you and try to make you feel as if you are the one in control. But guess what?! YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL. You were not and you will never be. I’M THE FUCKING SUPREME and I’m done! I’m done with you avoiding me, Wilhemina. I haven’t done anything bad. I asked you for one thing. Just one thing that means the world to me… If you don’t care anymore… you’re free to go”

It hit Wilhemina. Her Delia never truly yelled before, so she did realize it was bad this time. She wanted to make it better obviously, but she didn’t know what to say, so she just sat down hoping that she would manage to find the right words eventually.

And when Cordelia saw Mina’s face she immediately regretted everything she said. She didn’t mean to hurt the other woman, she was just done.

It was one of the very few times Wilhemina actually cried. And it made Cordelia felt even worse. She immediately began apologising and pleading. Yet Mina admitted the blonde was right and she probably did deserve it.

And they just sat there together - crying and apologising each other, before finally having a real conversation.

They talked about everything that bothered them - all their fears and insecurities. “I’m not going anywhere any soon” Delia tried to comfort “But even if I die, which will happen eventually, there is Myrtle. She will help you with the child. You will not be alone”

And after being reassured that they were both capable of having a baby  - Wilhemina agreed. 

Tag list: @midnight-lestrange​, @natasha-danvers​, @stopkillinglilyrabe​

[idontwannabreakdown]

Ariel’s Outfits in Icon For Hire (Part Six)

Seeds:

Outfit one

okay so for this song and then the next one, the placement of the outfits is very important. First, however, I just want to discuss the clothing itself quickly. So, the jumpsuit here is one: dope as hell and two: very simple compared to other outfits she’s worn, but there is a lot of symbolism. The green color was probably chosen to help with the whole nature and plant aesthetic of the song. But green also represents growth and rebirth which is exactly what this song is about. And as for the overall simplicity of the outfit I think it shows that she’s still at the very beginning of her journey. We see this outfit the most when she’s talking about being in the dark or underground, although this outfit and outfit two switch back and forth on those parts. The parts where this outfit is seen consistently throughout the song are the majority of the times she says “seeds” and then every time she says “history” in the bridge. So this outfit is showing her past, her history, how she started. It’s showing where she was before she started growing as a person.

Outfit two

So, the jumpsuit is still more simple than some of her other outfits, but the colors and the hair are more complex than in outfit one, which, I feel, show that’s started to grow as a person. We see this outfit every time she says “free” in the pre-chorus, and every time she mentions growth of some sort. I also really like the white and black of the outfit. It shows that while she’s not completely in the dark anymore, she still has a while to go before she’s in the light, but she’s starting to break free. This outfit shows her more at her present and a little bit into her future. We see this every time she says “we’ll go up in flames” so she’s definitely expecting to be fully engulfed in the light at some point by now. I also think that the black and white of her clothes could represent the different parts of herself too. Like, right now, she’s working on growing, she hasn’t fully pushed all the darkness away yet, but she’s starting to let the light in. The fact that we always has some sort of light shining on her while wearing this outfit helps show this.

Last One Standing:

Oh boy. Here it is. I want to start this off by saying that my analysis of these outfits may not be as in depth and a bit more uncertain than my other ones because the video is still very new. So, if you have any theories please reblog them and maybe we can come to a more concrete interpretation.

Outfit one

So initially, we had thought this outfit would be representative of some type of purity. We thought it would be an outfit she would end up in later rather than start in, but that was clearly proven wrong. In the video, the first time we see Shawn and Ariel they are both wearing white, so it’s likely the other people in the boxes? started in white too. While purity and innocence are the most common meanings of the color white, it doesn’t fit with this video. I think white here is more symbolic of a new beginning or a clean slate. The antagonists of this video are clearly trying to make Ariel into something else (I’m not quite sure what or for what purpose) so white would make sense. White is clean, white can be colored anything you want it to be. Whenever she’s in this outfit her actions are very bold and confident, and it’s always at the parts in the song that are more focused on fighting. She hasn’t been tamed yet. When I first saw the picture of this outfit with the bracelet I remember thinking that it looked very much like a shackle and then @ouransisters​ expanded on that stating that she is shackled here, but not completely. She is still very much capable of fighting.

Outfit two

So the first thing that caught my attention about this outfit is that it is the most loose-fitting outfit she wears in the entire video. It kinda reminds me of the black x-men outfits and also of Black Widow’s catsuit. Basically, this looks like an outfit for fighting. How she acts in this outfit is a bit unique. What I’ve noticed, especially in the Amorphous videos, each outfit seems to have it’s own personality. She has a different persona for each outfit. Not for this one though. In this outfit we see her fighting against the antagonists, standing in the line defiantly, standing in the line with a completely blank expression, and her seeing all the people in the box thingies. I think that at this point in the story she’s still trying to fight, but the antagonists are starting to break her. We’re seeing her expression fall blank and her movements become a bit more robotic, but she also looks very defiant when in this outfit.

Outfit three

So I think this outfit is when they would have broken her. Whenever she’s in this outfit, she’s hooked up to the weird cord things. She seems to be doing what she’s told, but every time this outfit appears is during the chorus. So I think she’s just pretending that they broke her. She’s just playing the game. All the outfits after outfit one are black and I’ve been trying to look up different meanings for the color. I found that in psychology it can mean power and control so I wonder if this is the antagonists trying to show their control over her.

Outfit four

So timeline-wise I’m pretty sure that this outfit is right after outfit one and right before outfit two. She doesn’t have the barcode yet and her body language in this outfit is pretty much identical to her body language in outfit one. This outfit is very revealing, probably to show that she’s at her most exposed here.

Outfit five

This is the most restrictive outfit in the video. The choker is very stiff, she’s wearing a corset belt, that looks like it might have some boning (I can’t tell), and the shirt is very tight. This is when we see them hook her up to the cords, but this is also when we see her rip the cords off. At first, in this outfit she’s terrified, she’s trapped, but as we know, she’s not ready to give up. Even though she does manage to rip the cords off, her movements in this outfit are pretty stiff and mechanical (with a few exceptions) so she still bears a lot of the damage inflicted.

Yeah, so as I said, please reblog this with your theories because I’m still uncertain about these

[elefics]

torment / chapter 3

word count: 3.5k

For the next two nights, my dreams were plagued by Michael. I couldn’t stop thinking about his hand gripping the back of my chair, his hair falling into his face, the gold chain peeking out from under his shirt, and how it would look against bare skin, his or mine…

Stupid. I’d barely said a word to this guy, and I was dreaming about him? Like some vapid schoolgirl with a crush. It wasn’t like me at all, I felt like a different person. Something about his eyes, the way they pierced right through me like a laser, made me feel exposed.

I decided that morning to put him out of my mind completely, or do my very best to. The warlocks being on civil terms with the witches didn’t mean anything. Trying to reassure myself, I thought, I may never see him again. I ignored how that thought made my stomach flip, dread gnawing at my insides.

“What has you so upset?” Penny, the witch who stayed in the room next door to mine, asked. “I could feel it through the wall.” She plopped down onto my bed with concern plastered across her face.

Penny was an empath to extreme levels. She felt what you felt, exactly how you felt it. When she was younger, she told me she had to avoid crowded rooms because the mix of emotions made her vomit. Now, with years at the Academy under her belt, she’d learned to control it – but somehow my emotions had knocked a hole through the drywall and her willpower.

“I’m fine.” I replied.

Penny frowned. “That’s bullshit, and you know I know. What’s going on in your head, Ly?”

I sighed. “The warlocks. I can’t figure them out, or what they’re up to. Makes me uneasy.”

I figured that wasn’t totally a lie. A half-truth – I was worried about the warlocks. I just failed to tell her it was one in particular that was bothering me.

“I feel you,” Penny said casually, and I smiled because she did, literally. “But if Cordelia thinks this is a good idea, I trust her judgment. You should too.”

She was right. But something about the whole thing just felt off.

“I had my doubts,” Cordelia appeared in the doorway, giving us both a fright. Our Supreme had a habit of sneaking up on people.

“I understand your apprehension. But I think that unity is in the coven’s best interests. I wouldn’t have invited them otherwise.” Cordelia said.

“I know. We trust you.” I nodded. I hated the idea of Cordelia thinking we didn’t have faith in her. She was the best woman and witch I’d ever known.

“You two better get ready for lessons.” Cordelia concluded, before drifting out of the room.

After hours of potion-making and practising tricky incantations, we had finished up for the day and a few girls were lounging in the sitting room. I was playing cards with Zoe, a witch-version of those memory games you play in grade school. Instead of guessing with memory, I guessed with divination. It wasn’t my strong suit; she beat me four to one.

The rest of the girls stepped into the room, followed by Cordelia. We all sat up straighter, knowing something was coming. She only called all of us into one room if there was an important announcement to make.

“My girls. Ariel and I have had several meetings over the last few days. We think what we all need is some fun,” She smiled.

We all paid more attention.

“Next Saturday, we are attending a ball. A reconciliation ball, for witches and warlocks to come together and enjoy themselves. A celebration.” Even Cordelia looked excited as she explained.

Girls squealed and immediately burst into chatter we pounced at the chance to get dressed up.

“We’re taking a trip into town tomorrow, after your morning lessons. All of you will pick out a dress, or suit if you prefer. I want you all to visualise your truest form, and show up as them. Pick whatever makes you feel most like your most beautiful, confident, powerful selves.” Cordelia said.

---

“Does this look ‘me’ enough?” Zoe asked, holding a lilac blazer up to her slender frame.

“I think you’ll look stunning in anything.” I assured her. We’d been into three shops already and I still hadn’t found the perfect dress.

“I don’t know why I’m even bothering. Nobody has asked me.” Penny lamented as she tried on another jumpsuit.  

There was gossip that some witches had been asked to the ball already. Apparently, some warlocks had sent notes, enchanted to sing on arrival. The peak of romance, as far as the younger witches were concerned.

“Who cares? We’re going together anyway. Date or no date, we go together. Sisters.” Zoe asserted, rubbing Penny’s shoulder.

Flicking through another rack, my fingers landed on something red and velvet. I pulled the gown out to get a better look, purely indulging a fantasy that it might suit me. It was strapless, structured around the bodice with a flowing skirt.

“Lyla! Try it on.” Zoe exclaimed, shoving me into the change room.

“I doubt it’ll even fit…and red really isn’t my colour.” I sighed. I stepped out once I’d slipped it on, needing Zoe’s help to zip me up.

Looking up into my reflection, I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. “Is it too much? It’s a little bold for me.”

“You look hot! You have to get it, Ly. I’m convinced nothing else will look this good. It’s like it was made for you.” Penny grinned from behind me, squeezing my hips.

---

In the week leading up to the ball, the doorbell rang constantly. Each time, a girl would answer the door and close it with the hugest grin, pleased with their date. Each time, my irrational heart raced, hoping it would be someone for me. Each time, I was disappointed.

The dreams about Michael didn’t stop. I dreamed that he tapped on my window, climbed inside my room, and asked me softly. In my dreams, he was gentle and tender, not tense and severe like he acted at breakfast. In my dream, he whispered it, begging me to be his. Michael’s lips against the shell of my ear sent shivers through my entire body. When I woke up, I swore I could still feel his breath against my neck.

When the doorbell rang on Friday morning, I pitied the girl who was about to be asked to the ball this last minute. It was almost lunch time, but I hadn’t had classes that day, so I was studying in the sitting room in my pyjamas. Annoyed at the disruption, I moped over to the door.

“Hey, who are you looking for, I’ll go get h-” I was cut off as I opened the door and met his eyes.

Michael stood in the middle of the front patio, holding a thin black box.

“Michael – hi,” I stumbled over my words, suddenly embarrassed of my pyjamas so late in the day. He must think I have no life. “So, who are you here to see? Most of them are upstairs.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“You, actually.” He said evenly. My eyes must have widened, because he licked his lips, “Are you surprised to see me?”

“I guess. I just wasn’t expecting it.” I shrugged, feigning nonchalance.

“Why? Who were you expecting?” His expression darkened, a crease forming in his brow. I could feel his walls going up…was he jealous?

“Nobody.” I said quickly. I didn’t want to waste an opportunity to see him, even if he made me uneasy. He was magnetic – it felt like there was a rope tied around me, pulling me closer to him.

His smile returned, smug. “Well, in that case, you’re coming with me to the ball.” He declared.

I raised an eyebrow. “And you’re not asking, just telling?”

“Precisely,” He said smoothly. He held out the thin black box. I reached out, and his fingertips grazed mine. I stared at his hand for a beat too long before I took the gift.

“You didn’t have to get anything. I can’t accept this.” I rushed.

“You haven’t even opened it yet.” He spoke softly. His intense gaze made my cheeks hot.

I pried the box open carefully, and saw the glint of cubic zirconia in the sunlight. The wind was almost knocked out of me. A thin chain of gems formed the most delicate choker I’d ever seen. I imagined it wrapped around my throat, and then I imagined Michael helping me clasp it, his fingertips grazing my neck. I shivered.

“Michael. I can’t take this. You don’1t even know me.” I said quickly.

“They’re real. I wouldn’t give you fakes,” He said, his nose wrinkled with disdain.

“How did you-” I whispered.

How did you know I thought they were fake? How did you afford this? How did you end up in my life, on my doorstep like this? A million questions raced through my mind at once.

“Wear it tomorrow.” He commanded softly, interrupting my internal monologue. I got the sense that it was an order, not a request.

“I – okay.” I gulped, unsure of how else to respond.

Michael smiled, clearly pleased with himself. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Meet me there.”

“I’ll see you then.” I said meekly, feeling a little lightheaded. This was all too much.

“Oh, and Lyla,” Michael reached his fingertips out as I retreated back inside. My name in his mouth was a dream, the way he drew out the syllables like he savoured it. I felt a pull like gravity towards him; he was the sun.

“Sweet dreams.” He spoke, before the door swung shut.

---

Saturday evaporated into thin air – the hours seemed to fly by, and I was quickly running out of time to get ready. I’d often find myself distracted, thinking about what he meant yesterday. Sweet dreams. It had to mean something, but it didn’t make any sense. Could he hear my thoughts? Did he know I’d dreamed about him? Could he hear how my heart raced whenever he looked at me? Could he tell how I was somehow both attracted to and afraid of him?

When my hair and makeup was finally done, I fiddled with the clasp of the choker Michael gave, struggling to latch it.

“Need a hand?” Penny offered. I bowed my head as she helped me. “Woah. When did you get this?” She asked.

“Um – yesterday. Michael kind of…gave it to me.” I confessed.

Penny’s fingernails dug into my shoulder. “You like him!” She yelled excitedly.

“I guess there’s no point trying to lie to you, right?” I blushed.

“Damn, you really like this kid. Dreaming about him?” She said, hands on her hips.

“How did you know that?” I questioned.

She closed her eyes and moaned exaggeratedly, “Michael, Michael.”

She told me she’d heard me talking in my sleep when she got up for a glass of water last night. I was mortified.

“Just…be careful. I can’t feel him. Usually, I can sense someone like that, someone we know. When he was here, I couldn’t feel anything. It was like I was in the dark.” She murmured.  

Penny’s warning stuck with me because I didn’t stop thinking about it all night.

When we arrived at the ball, I stepped out of the car carefully, so I didn’t step on my dress. My heels were a little too high for comfort, but I felt unstoppable.

There was a set of wide marble steps up to the ballroom, and inside the building glowed gold and warm.

I looked for Michael, hoping to find him waiting for me outside. My heart sank to my stomach when he wasn’t. Immediately assuming the worst, I thought he’d stood me up. Of course he did. This stupid ball didn’t mean anything. He’d invited me for a laugh with his boys. He never wanted to come in the first place. It wasn’t his scene.

“Earth to Lyla. Are you ready to head in?” Zoe asked. She looked like a badass in her purple blazer, tapered black pants and heels.

“Yeah.” I mumbled, linking arms with my sisters and walking towards the building.

We were only a few steps from the entrance when a strong hand grabbed my waist, pulling me away. I was about to scream when I saw Michael’s smirk in the shadows. I flinched at his touch, but his eyes lured me closer. Zoe frowned, but told me she’d see me inside. Her raised eyebrows silently said, If I don’t see you inside in ten minutes, I’m calling a search party.

When we were alone, tucked into the dark space between a marble pillar and the fence, Michael’s eyes almost glowed in the dark. His stare didn’t break from mine once.

I shrunk into myself, avoiding his skin. His bottom lip jutted out.

“You were so hot last time. Your skin, I mean. It burned me.” I rubbed my arm at the memory.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” He smiled innocently. “You look beautiful.” He said, hands around my waist, keeping me locked against his body. It was warm, but not scalding. I relaxed into his arms. With anyone else, this would be too much, too fast. With Michael, I felt like I couldn’t get close enough.

“You too.” I was breathless.

“I look beautiful?” He laughed.

“Yes.” I said, without hesitation. He did – his suit was pressed immaculately, black jacket over black shirt, with a thin black tie. His shoes were polished, his hair was brushed out and wavy, and this time, his thin gold chain was hanging out neatly underneath the collar of his shirt. I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that somehow it was because he knew – he knew how much I thought about that damn chain, dangling over me. It was a taunt.

He grinned. I’d never seen him smile like that. Being the reason behind it made my heart hammer in my chest.

“Are you nervous?” He was smug.

“Maybe. Are you?” I asked, hoping he’d say yes. I wanted to know that I had just as much of an effect on him as he did on me.

“You wore it.” He whispered, bringing a long finger up to my throat, tracing the thin chain of diamonds there. Goosebumps sprang to the surface of my skin.

“I did. Thank you – I don’t think I actually said that yesterday.” I closed my eyes, melting at his touch.

“You’re welcome.”

I tugged at his chain softly, “I like this. You should wear it out more.”

“I know you do.” He smiled. He looped my arm through his, nodding gentlemanly. My mind reeled through the possibilities of what he meant by that as we walked in together.

Zoe’s head was swivelling around the room, waiting for me to enter. Once she saw me in one piece, she smiled and waved me over.

“Will you come sit with us?” I asked Michael.

He was scanning the room, too preoccupied to hear me.

I squeezed his arm, and he snapped back to attention. “Come sit over here with me.” I repeated.

His lips twisted, considering it. “I shouldn’t. They’re your friends.”

“Just come.” I pleaded.

He rolled his eyes, and it was then that I knew he had a soft spot for me. He stood up taller, and we walked to our table.

Over dinner, I took the opportunity to get inside his head a little. I had to figure out how he knew so much, and how he made it feel like I had a magnet in my ribcage, drawn only to him.

“You said you’ve only been at Hawthorne for a few weeks. How did you end up there?” I asked.

He paused halfway through cutting his steak. He seemed to consider his next words carefully.

“I got myself into some trouble, my powers got a little out of control. Somehow, Ariel found me. He got me out of there, and I didn’t look back.” He smiled sweetly.

“Got you out of where?” I asked.

“A jail cell.” He replied darkly. I saw the flicker of a smile in his eyes.

I froze. The sudden realisation that I didn’t know the first thing about Michael hit me like a tonne of bricks. I had no idea who he really was. But here, sitting elbow to elbow with him, wearing diamonds he bought, I thought, who the hell am I?

“How did they find you, the Academy?” He asked politely. It always felt like a power play – I asked a question, he ignored it or gave me a half-answer, and then he’d ask another question like nothing had happened.

“I broke my teacher’s arm.” I said flatly.

He grinned, clearly entertained. I softened a little – when he listened to me, he really listened. He watched me intensely and nodded with encouragement. He made me feel like the only person in the room.

“So, Michael,” Penny called from across the table, breaking our bubble of conversation and bringing us into the rest of the group. Next to her was Jerome, Zoe, and a few other warlocks I didn’t know well. “What’s your story?” She asked. She was watching his every move like a predator.

“Not much to tell. I just started at Hawthorne not long ago. I’ve been fortunate enough to do well in my classes. Favourite colour is red.” He replied cheekily.

Under the table, his hand came to rest on my knee, drawing soft, absentminded circles against the velvet. I pretended it wasn’t happening, despite the swarm of butterflies in my stomach. He gave me a sly look out of the corner of his eye.

“What are your parents like?” I asked.

He smiled with raised eyebrows, giving me a look that said, I know you’re trying, but it’s not working. He was being strangely evasive, even for a reserved person. “My father wasn’t around much, and I never knew my mother.” Michael explained, his hand travelling up to my thigh.

He was trying to distract me, but I wouldn’t have it. I felt terrible for asking, but I had to know more. I had to understand him. “Who raised you?” I blurted out.

“I stayed with a few different relatives growing up, before a…family friend took me in. Miriam Mead – the best woman I know. Closest thing to a mom that I have.”

“What’s she like?” I asked, pressing further.

“Let’s dance, shall we?” He said through a fake smile, taking my hand and pulling me forcefully towards the dancefloor. It kind of hurt. The worst part is that I didn’t even care – he could drag me to hell and I’d still follow him.

Not many other people were dancing, but everything else faded away once his arms were around me. I was totally entranced.

“What do you want?” Michael growled, the sound low and menacing.

It shocked me. I was suddenly aware of how much taller and bigger he was than me, and how easily he could hurt me if he wanted to.

“What do you mean?” I asked, pulling away.

He yanked me back into place, holding me hard against his chest. “You’re pretty, but you’re not dumb. What are you playing at?”

Despite my heart pounding, I felt my cheeks go pink.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Michael. But I have questions, so many of them.” I shot back hotly.

“Fine. Your turn.” He spat, keeping us gliding effortlessly across the floor. To an outsider, we looked like any other couple dancing.

“Can you read minds?” I whispered. I don’t know why I felt like it had to be kept a secret. I had a feeling Michael was a lot more powerful than he let on.

“Yes. My turn. Who are you, really? What are you trying to do, finding out so much about me?” His eyes narrowed, snake-like.

“I’m Lyla, and I’m just trying to figure you out.” I squared my jaw.

“Figure me out.” He mused, hand gliding across the small of my back.

I nodded. “My turn. How did you burn me last week, when you touched my arm?” I asked.

Michael looked down at his feet, his first sign of insecurity all night. “I lost control,” He sighed.  “You…make me feel like I could lose control, all the time. I have to be careful.” Golden hair fell into his eyes. I brushed a lock aside and my fingers lingered by his ear, feeling how warm his skin was.

“I’m stronger than I look. You don’t have to worry so much.” I lied. My heart was jackhammering against my ribcage.

“I appreciate the sentiment, but I could kill you, Lyla. And I don’t want that. Not yet, anyway.” He smiled.

“How old are you?” I asked Michael, for the second time.

“That’s two questions, wait your turn.” He chided. He craned down to my level, brushing his lips against where my neck met my shoulder.

“Why are you so weird about age?” I whispered.

“Because it’s a very long and difficult story, one for another time. Can you just dance with me?” He murmured. He clung to me like static.

I sighed, leaning against his chest. His lips still dragged softly against my skin, and my nerve endings felt like live wires. When he reached my ear, I could feel his smile against my skin. Memories of my dreams from the nights before flashed like déjà vu. I opened my mouth to ask him about it, but he silenced me by squeezing my hip.

I wasn’t going to get all my questions answered tonight, but this was a start.

taglist: @angelicmichael @theneverendinghunger @outpostmichael​ @leatherduncan​ 

(let me know if you want to be added!)

[queencocoakimmie]

Wink Part 6

Apocalypse

/1/ /2/ /3/ /4/ /5/

A/N: This is it! The end of the Wink Series. I hope you liked it as much as I like writing it!

Warning: Blasphemy, smut, death, violence, fluff.

Word Count: 2,660

Summary: The Fall of Miss Robichaux’s, the Rise of Michael and Lilith.

Then the kings of the earth and the great men and the commanders and the rich and the strong and every slave and free man hid themselves in the caves and among the rocks of the mountains; and they said to the mountains and to the rocks, "Fall on us and hide us from the presence of Him who sits on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb; for the great day of their wrath has come, and who is able to stand?"

-Revelation 6:15-17

Laying there beside him, my mind is flooded with memories of our past lives. There we are at the opening of the Louvre in 1793. Again, at the start of the Renaissance Era in Italy, 1300. Standing in a crowd, as Mary Magdalene and John, watching the crucifixion of God’s only son. I remember everything. 

He watches me, as the memories flood back, with pride. But a sad small smile plays on his lips and I ask him what’s wrong. “I’ve been waiting for you to remember for so long. Every lifetime that we are reborn, I wait for you find me, or I find you. Then we go through the blood ritual to release our memories, over and over and over again. Sometimes you remember and sometimes you don't.” He pauses, his voice catching. “There have been many times, where we never even find each other. We go through the span of an entire lifetime, empty and alone, ultimately dying without ever having seen the others’ face. Then the cycle starts all over again. I’m just so tired of doing it. And now, I feel like we’re almost done with our mission and we’re in danger of being torn apart again.”

He continues, “The world has gone through its ebbs and flows, but the time has never been ripe for the End of Days. Now things have changed. You’ve come back more powerful than my Father and I could ever imagine. I know in my heart that with you by my side, the time for the world to be remade is now. But, those goddamn Witches are in our way.” His words are sad and exhausted. I know that he is ready for all of this to be over.

I bury my face into his chest, “I’ll never let us be apart again, Michael.” His face is filled with sorrow, he nods his head half-heartedly. He knows something that I don’t.

I tell him about the conversation, I overheard Zoe having earlier. He takes a deep breath, “I know. I know it’s coming. I don’t know what they have planned for me. But, I’ve been preparing for it as best I can. I just don't know if I'm ready yet. I don’t know if I’m ready for the aftermath. The boys have been preparing as well, so they’ll be ready and will know exactly what to do.”

With confusion painted on my face, I ask “What do you mean?" He turns his face away from me, “In the Bible, The 4 Horsemen will bring fire and ash to the world. We’re supposed to remake it in my Father's image. Rex, Jin, you and I are meant to tear this corrupt place apart and make it ours. Make it His.”

I become suddenly afraid of this prophecy. Cordelia didn’t teach me this. I was taught that the Antichrist was evil, and the Apocalypse had to be stopped. Now, here I am at the cusp of it? And I’m intended to be apart of it? The fear rises in my chest. I begin to shake. I don’t know if I can do this? Will I fail him? I’m just a kid.

But, I look up at him, his face half hidden in the shadows. I can feel that he is being tormented. He is conflicted more than I am. Wrestling with his own mortality. The fate of the world is literally on his shoulders and he hasn’t been given instructions on how to carry out its end. He just knows he’s expected to do it. There is no set plan for this. I’m afraid we’re on our own. 

He receives a text from Ariel and his demeanor completely changes. He tells me coldly that we should get dressed and head back to the school before anyone notices we’ve been gone too long. He’s not coming with me inside, though. There is something else he has to do. I begrudgingly get up and start gathering my clothes. I don’t ever want to leave this clearing. It’s so peaceful here. I know in my heart, it’ll be a long time before we can feel this type of calm again.

We dress in silence, lost in the noise crowding our minds, when he turns suddenly towards me and grabs my shoulders roughly, ”You mustn’t tell anyone what we’ve done tonight. If they find out that we are blood bound, they’ll know exactly who you are, if they don't already. I suspect that once I pass the Seven Wonders, they’ll come for me and everyone else, including you. I can’t have that. I can’t lose you again.” 

Tears begin to well in his eyes, “Listen carefully, Lilith, I need you to get stronger in your magic. Learn to cloak your thoughts, because if I can read your mind this easily, so will they.” Heat blooms in my cheeks as embarrassment takes hold. I know that he’s seen my thoughts, my doubts, my uncertainty in what we’re about to take on.

He stares at me intently, “They’ll be watching and monitoring you. You've got to strengthen your powers on your own. You are more powerful than any witch in that Coven. Never forget who you are, Lilith. You are the First woman ever created. The most important piece of the puzzle. As long as Jin and Rex are there with you, they will help you. They’ll teach you and protect you. But, know this, the day will come when you’ll have to make a choice between the people who saved you from a life on the streets or me.” I can see in his eyes, that he’s not completely sure that I will choose him and it hurts.

Since we’re connected through blood now, I know that I’ll grow stronger and eventually I’ll be able to feel his thoughts and emotions too. But, communicating telepathically now, though, wouldn’t be safe for either one of us. Once I’ve developed more, we might try to link minds, but for now, it’s just too dangerous. 

He explains to me that if something should happen to him, don’t reach out to him, don’t go look for him. He’ll come for me when the time is right. I’m extremely saddened by this because I can sense our time is ending soon and I can’t do anything to stop it.

When he leaves me at the doorstep of the academy, I know that this will be the last time I see him for a long time. He kisses me long and hard and walks away into the cold. A moment later, a long, black limo pulls up to the curb. The door opens and it’s Ariel, Baldwin and Ms. Mead, waiting for him. He turns back to me, says goodbye and winks.

I never had the chance to tell him that there is no choice to be made. I’m with him until the end.

Weeks pass and the rumors have spread that Michael has passed the Seven Wonders. He is the new Supreme. I felt his joy and his confidence in himself grow as he passed each one. We might be able to pull this off after all. 

But, the witches weren’t taking this lying down. They’ve been having more and more closed-door meetings. Chittering away and conspiring against my dear Michael. I know that they've been watching and plotting against us and it makes me hate them even more. I never thought I would ever feel this way about them. 

In the middle of all this chaos, Madison turns up missing and no one will tell us what’s going on, or where she is. Zoe has been keeping a watchful eye on me, even having my friends report back to her about me. They watch and listen to my every movement. Confused as to why they can’t fully read my mind. I know that Zoe has spoken to Myrtle about her suspicions. They’ve been devising a plan to use me and then have me murdered after Michael is dead. I have to lay now, conceal my parts of my magic, pretend that I’m one of them.

Cordelia decreed that The Hawthorne Boys were no longer welcome here, and by morning, they were all gone. There was no explanation about it. I panicked, knowing that now I would be alone, in this place. No Michael, no Rex, no Jin, to help me. I was afraid. Trapped in this den of vipers, all by myself, I start to lose control and feel the veil on my mind slipping. It’s too much stress, too many voices, my visions are too erratic. Until one night, crouched on the ground next to my bed, sobbing into my chest, I feel Michael on the outer reaches of my brain. We’re not supposed to communicate like this, but he’s feeling my suffering. I sense him reach into my mind and blanket me with reassurance and calm. I silently thank him and for the first time since he’s been gone, I sleep well that night. 

Our bond has been growing stronger by the day. I experience everything that he feels. His anger upon finding out that Behold was missing from their school at the same time Madison was. This was no coincidence, something was going on. I sense him becoming increasingly more paranoid. His mind beginning to lose focus. His thoughts becoming are unstable. His feelings all over the place. I wish I could reach out to him like he did to me but I’m not as strong as he is. If I do it incorrectly, they will know and then our plan will be over before it even begins. 

A few days later, Jessica texted me that Madison was back and with Behold in tow. After being locked up in Cordelia’s office for over an hour, they all emerged. Grim looks on their faces. I could feel an undercurrent of anger pulsing through my veins and I knew he could feel it. The time is almost at hand. 

I know that I’m not strong enough to access Cordelia’s mind, so I settle on Madison’s thoughts instead. Her mind is an open book, so easy to read. Fragments of her memories show me that they met with Michael’s family. His mother and father and his wretched Grandmother. I saw the moment when Madison and Behold found out who he truly was. It terrified them to no end. I saw her fear and anguish at what they were up against. But, from her memories, I also saw that she had compassion for young Michael. A sad, scared little boy with innumerable powers. Maybe if given a chance, or proper guidance, he could have become something different. Maybe he’d be happy. But, now we’ll never know because his family was horrid and treated him as such. 

Not long after, I felt a terrible ache in my chest. I doubled over in class from its intensity. My instructor sent me to my room to rest, but as soon as I got there, I was struck with a vision so clear, that I felt I was really there. I could see Michael standing in front of 3 burning stakes, with bodies tied to them. One was Ariel, one was Baldwin and the last one was Ms. Mead. He loved her like a mother, and to see her gone, it caused his heart and mind to break. I felt every bit of his misery and grief. I turn away from him to see Cordelia offering him a chance to join them and be good. I try to hold onto the vision long enough to see him threaten to kill her and everyone else. The pain in my chest gets deeper as his anger rises. I can sense him losing his grip on the world. He’s in such turmoil and doubt. But, I can’t be with him, and it’s agonizing to see him go through this alone.

I’m struck again with another vision. This time I see him go into the woods, see him go to the place where we made love. I watch, helplessly as he sits inside a pentagram made of stones, just like the one he made for us that night. Begging and pleading with his father for help and HIM not listening. My vision is fading, my eyes are becoming painful and blurry, my head is splitting in agony. I can’t take much more, but I whisper out to him, “I love you”. Before I pass out.

A text from an unknown number at 3 a.m wakes me:

“He’s in pain, Lil. But, he’ll remember his purpose. We have to have believe. We just can’t help him right now. Be patient.”

-R

I know that it’s Rex, and it gives me some modicum of calm. I delete the text. I can’t let them know that I’ve been talking to the boys.

Much time passes, and life goes on. I never forget about him. He’s always at the back of my mind. His ups and his downs, I’m cognizant of all of them. I sensed his pain and apprehension and then finally peace when the Satanists took him in and helped redirected his path.

I felt his resignation at meeting Mutt and Jeff at the robotics company. But they are useful and smart and assist him in making a plan to end this crude world.

My life here, however, was under a microscope. Every move I made, every spell I cast, was watched and reported on. They’ve taken to shadowing me wherever I go. Never leaving me alone, except for sleeping and peeing. Now my telepathy has become so strong that I could read every mind here at once. I could hear and see all of their mundane thoughts to the more malevolent ones regarding me and Michael. His name on their lips, speaking about him in such contempt, disgusted me. I know that they are planning for my death. Smiling in my face, plotting to kill me. They’ll use me in some epic battle against Michael, and then when he is dead, they will burn me at the stake. My own friends were in on this plan. I had been betrayed. 

1 Year Later

I’m awoken by screaming down the hallway. There are loud bangs and cries for help. I open the door and the girls are running everywhere. I look over the railing of the stairwell and see blood splattered all over the walls. Bodies were strewn on the ground. I make my way down, passed several dead witches and I see my friends, Jessica, Alice, and Margaret. They’re hiding in a nearby room. They beckon for me to come to them. “What’s going on?” I whisper. “That Langdon boy is back. He’s here with that woman. I thought she was dead.” 

Realization washes over me. He’s come for me. This is it. I begin to walk out of the room when I hear their thoughts. Jessica calls me a ‘traitorous bitch’ and that as soon as she gets a chance, she’ll kill me. I turn around and snap her neck in an instant. The other girls beg for mercy, but they’ve been a part of the scheme against me this entire time. They were never my friends. They all deserve to die together. I allow them this.

I hear Ms. Mead step behind me, “So you’re the one he talks about all of the time. You’re just a ruthless as you are beautiful. Come with me.”

I follow her down the corridor and watch in awe as he walks into the dining hall and systematically massacres the other witches including Zoe, Bubbles, and Queenie. I step over Zoe’s dying body, knowing that she is the one that devised the betrayal. She brought me here knowing who I was, what my true nature was. She knew that they would eventually destroy me. I spit in her face and say “Fuck you” with venom. I look around for more witches but there is no one left. Even, Cordelia and her new protégé, Mallory have fled now.

Michael is a vision. Just as beautiful as the day I first saw him. He rushes to me and amongst the dead bodies and blood-spattered walls, he kisses me, hungrily, impatiently. He doesn’t say a word but picks me up and takes me to his limo.

We made love in the backseat. It was hard and rough. He couldn’t get enough of me. My hands pressed up against the glass, as he fucked into me from behind. Pulling my hair, my eyes streamed down my face with tears. Joy mixed with pain. The first time we had sex was romantic and beautiful, this was so animalistic and visceral. We came screaming each other’s names so loudly, that I could hear the radio volume turn up in the front of the limo. I’m guessing they no longer want to hear us.

Sitting in the afterglow of our sex, he smiles at me. “I’ve missed you so much. I’ve dreamt of you every night.” I look down sheepishly, “I know,” I say. Those lonely nights, I’d see him touching himself to an image of me. I would do the same so he could see me too. Our minds were connected in this most intimate way, it was like he was there with me in my room. Those were also the nights that my phone would light up with text messages from Rex or Jin, telling us to knock it off, that we were making them uncomfortable. I understood how they felt, but if I could only be with him in this way, I was going to do it regardless.  

“What about the boys?” I blurt out as he fixed his shirt, and smoothed down his wild curls. “Oh, everyone at Hawthorne is dead. I did that before I came to get you.” He says matter-of-factly. My eyes widen in shock, he looks at me and laughs, “Everyone except Jin and Rex are dead. We’ll see them at my meeting with The Cooperative.”

The who?

18 months later

Here we are, at the end of the world. I look out of the window, in this black horse-drawn carriage, and I see the decay and destruction of everything around us that we caused. The day the nuclear bombs went off, was glorious. It went according to plan and turned out better than we could have ever hoped to imagine. Michael was in full command of his powers and he...was...magnificent. Jin caused wars between allied countries, trying to escape the blast fallout. Rex brought about famine and disease throughout all of the lands. And I brought death to all of those who were unworthy. 

But, now I think of my “sisters” at Miss Robichaux’s. I feel anger towards them, but also guilt. They saved me from being homeless on the streets, they brought in and took care of me. I remind myself, though, that I was brought there so they could use me and then ultimately betray me. It makes me sad, in a way, about what happened to them. But I was never like them at all. I know in my heart, that they are still out there, somewhere. Sniveling in the shadows. When they come out of hiding, we’ll be ready for them, and we’ll crush them.

Michael made me see who I really am. Unlocked my memories and helped me embrace my destiny. He and I are bound together, in a story that was written long before man. He and I were meant for more.

I turn to him and gaze at his perfect profile. His hair longer than when we first met. Gone were the baby curls that encircled his head like a Halo. No, that Michael was gone. In his place was something different, something better. 

I reach out and turn his face towards mine. He moans at my touch. “My love, if we didn’t have to get to this Outpost before nightfall, I’d take you right here,” he says. I blush and laugh softly. His blues eyes, burning brightly against the background of his red eyeshadow. He is perfection. Words will never be able to express how much I love him. I am His partner, His new Right Hand, His blood mate.

And it all started with a wink.

@americanhorrorstory-trash @sensitivethot @tickled--pinkmoodpoisoning @heytherekidd0 @elangdon4 @whoviancumberbunny @queenie435 @ghostiesbedroom @iloveferns @michaelangdom @langdonsdemon @mads-maddie-madison @maso-xchrist @lxngdonscoven @ritualmichael @michaellangdom @michaellangdong @sweetlangdon @lxngdonscoven

@xtheinevitableprophecyx @avesatanormalpeoplescareme @michael-langdon-appreciation @petersfern-fics @katiekitty261 @lvngdvns @kinlovecody @sojournmichael @duncvn @duncans-donuts @lovelykhaleesiii @lovely-langdon @gelukstraan @confettucini @icylangdon @langdonsrapture @langdonfern @thedeviltohisangel @avessatanass @avesatanaslangdon @langdons-rep @cocotheangelchild @cocosfern @michael-langdon6 @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 @khaleesimel @michaellangdonn @americanhorrorstudies @ccodyfern @langdonsoceaneyes @flowersiren

[hope-can-be-your-sword]

Hope is a Four Letter Word

Read on AO3

Prompt: Trope (Presumed Dead)

Peter had no idea how long he had been alone in the small room. The floor was hard and cold, and wasn’t even big enough to be considered a closet. But it was all he had, the one safe place at the base.

He had scratched lines onto the wall, a mess of lines and circles. It was the only thing to focus his mind on, the only way to keep the grief from crashing onto him. It was held back by a dam that was ready to break. His ragged nails and the crescent moon scars he re-etched onto his skin every morning were the only outlets he allowed himself. He forced the crashing waves back with all his strength. The moment he let go, he knew he would drown. And he couldn’t do that.

It was supposed to have been an easy mission. The team had suited up to fight against a small faction of rebels who had similar technology and beliefs as HYDRA, but who were worse at staying under the radar.

Once at the base, they had split up. Clint and Natasha, Thor and Bruce, Rhodes and Carol, Steve and Sam, and Peter and Tony. They hadn’t really needed everyone, but they had decided it would be nice to have backup, just in case.

Clint and Natasha had snuck in, taking out the first line of defense before Steve and Sam were sent in. With their help, they were able to incapacitate some high level agents, stealing their swipe cards. Peter and Tony had joined next, the two of them heading straight for the labs. Peter had webbed up the bad guys before they could react, Tony blasting the data banks. They had already hacked in and downloaded the information, so he had no qualms about it. The data the organization had gathered shouldn’t be in the hands of people like them.

Carol and Rhodes took the ariel position, taking out the hostiles that tried to flee. Thor and Bruce went to save the few hostages in the building, all located on the lowest level, in cells that were too small.

There was one hostile, however, that managed to evade the Avengers, detonating a bomb near the labs. It was a defense mechanism, to destroy evidence and to incapacitate anyone who tried to infiltrate them. The bomb would release a colorless, odorless gas that would alter the chemicals in ones brain. It would make it look like their worst fear came true.

The hostile grinned to himself as he heard the explosion go off, sending most of the Avengers flying out of the building, where Carol and Rhodes tried to catch them.

Steve hauled himself to his feet, groaning at the pounding in his head. Meeting Carol’s eyes, the captains turned to the figures around them, trying to account for their teammates. Thor, Bruce, Natasha, Clint, Sam and Rhodes, while all battered, bruised and bleeding, were alive and breathing.

“Where are Tony and Peter?” Steve asked, muscles tensing as he looked at the ruined building.

Carol immediately took to the air, flying over the ruins looking for their two missing teammates. Her eyes scanned the rubble quickly, and as she spotted the familiar red and gold suit, she landed.

The suit was damaged beyond comprehension, the chest plate torn away to reveal the barely glowing reactor. It was faint, but it was there. Carol carefully pulled Tony into her arms, taking to the skies. She deposited him in front of Rhodes, confident that Tony’s best friend would look after him. “Get him help,” she ordered. “I’m going back to look for Peter.” Before anyone could argue, she shot them a look.

She didn’t watch them leave. Even if they didn’t like it, they knew she was right. They would look after Tony, while she searched for their youngest.

Peter had been halfway through his warning when it happened.

A blast shook the room, the beakers and test-tubes exploding, sending their contents and the broken glass flying across the room.

He let out a strangled scream as he felt his ribs crack under the impact. Emptiness threatened to wash over him, but Peter fought against it. He called out for Tony, wanting to ensure he was okay, but there was no answer. As he worked himself into a panic, everything around him went dark.

When Peter came to, there was blood everywhere. His hands were dripping with it, and his hair matted. He pushed himself up, panic growing as he noticed a body on the other side of the room, unmoving.

A man, dressed in exactly what Tony had been wearing under the suit. His face was tilted away, half covered by debris and papers destroyed during the fight. The suit was in shatters around him. His abdomen was a bloody mess, the knife that appeared to have done the damage right beside Peter.

“No, no, no,” Peter’s breathing picked up as he tried to stand up. His fingers scrambled to find purchase in the shelving unit behind him, but as soon as he attempted to lift himself up, the room started spinning and he went crashing to the ground, legs unable to keep him upright.

“Whoa, let’s get you out of here, hm?” an unknown voice broke through Peter’s desperate thoughts. The arms of the man reached down, stilling the teenager’s movements.

Peter immediately went into defensive mode, trying to get away from the unknown presence.

“Okay, we’re having none of that,” the man muttered.

It was the last thing Peter heard before he felt a needle go into his neck, and everything went black.

“He’s awake,” Rhodes voice came through the coms.

“How’s he doing?” Carol asked distractedly, sifting through the papers in front of her.

Rhodes sighed heavily. “He… I don’t think this is something he’s going to recover from, not emotionally. The first thing he said when he woke up was that… Peter’s gone. He begged me to tell him it wasn’t true, that Peter had to be alive.”

Carol squeezed her eyes shut. “I couldn’t find him. It’s like he disappeared. No traces. He can’t have… we got them all, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, we did.”

“I—” Carol stared at her hands. They were covered in ash and her fingers were nicked and bleeding from broken glass. She had dug through every pile of rubble she had come across. “I can’t believe it’s ending this way.”

“You should come back. Tony is going to need us, even if he refuses to admit it.”

“I’ll see you soon, then.” Once the coms switched off, Carol dropped her head. Her grief and rage were bottling up in her chest. She knew she shouldn’t keep it contained, that she needed to be in control when she made her way back to the compound. As much as they all loved Peter, Tony would be destroyed by the loss.

Standing up, Carol looked at the destruction, her fingers curling into fists. They glowed with energy as she opened her mouth, letting a heart-wrenching scream loose. The earth shook beneath her feet, and the nearby lake frothed. Dropping to her knees, Carol braced her hands against the ground.

“I’m so sorry, Peter.”

When he was alone, Peter tried to stay awake. He knew the nightmares would come if he drifted off, and he couldn’t face the reality. Not yet. He wanted to believe that Tony was fighting to find him, that in no time, the whole team would be alive, and together, at the compound, back in the common room for a movie night.

He held onto the dream more fiercely than anything. It was the one thing that gave him the willpower to stand his ground against his captor.

The man who was holding him hostage in the closet-like-cell was cruel, in a manipulative way. A voice at the back of Peter’s mind was screaming warnings at him, but the attention from the man was so like what he craved that Peter wanted to give in. He didn’t want to be alone, didn’t want to be forgotten.

When he was let out of the room, he was alone with his captor. Peter would spend what he guessed to be about three hours in the sparsely decorated room with the man who would try and make conversation with him.

Peter refused to answer. For a while, at least five days if he had to guess, he held up against the quiet. It was on what Peter estimated was the eleven day, he began to crumble.

“I’m all you’ve got left,” the man shrugged. “The Avengers ain’t coming for you.”

“You’re wrong,” Peter shook his head desperately. “They’re looking for me. They’re going to find me.”

“You sure about that?” the man turned his phone screen so Peter could read it. On the screen was a news articled. “New York and the Avengers Mourn the Tragic Loss of Spider-Man: Simple Mission Gone Terribly Wrong.” “A little wordy for a title, in my opinion, but it does get the point across. They think you’re dead.”

“No, no, no.” Peter didn’t want to believe it. The only thing he had was the hope he would be home soon. He was desperate to see his friends, his aunt, his team.

“I’m afraid they do. It’s just you and me, now, bud.”

Peter collapsed, everything he had been holding back washing over him. Everyone he loved thought he was dead, or was dead. A mission that should have been simple with those who had gone had turned into his worst nightmare. Tony had died, and everyone else thought he was dead. He would be trapped for the rest of his life with his captor. It was his worst nightmare. All the sounds around him faded away as the tears spilled.

Peter didn’t notice the way his captor smiled, eyes crazed slightly. “Guess that gas really did work.”

Carol was the only one allowed in the lab, since Tony knew that even if he locked her out, she would be able to get in. The doors were warded against everyone else, even Rhodes and Pepper, but nothing would hold Carol back.

She didn’t say much to him. Instead, she stared blankly at the station that had been Peter’s, still covered in half finished projects and assorted tools. It had only been six days since the mission. Tony had gotten himself out of the medical bay quicker than any of them wanted, but they didn’t have the heart to keep him there. Instead of forcing him back, one of them had to be near him at all times, and at the moment, it was Carol’s job.

She didn’t push him to talk, but ensured that every bottle of alcohol on the premise mysteriously vanished. She laid him to rest on the cot in the back of the lab when his exhaustion overran him. She reported back to the rest of the team, all of whom were trying to process the loss in their own way.

It was Rhodes, who on day twelve, insisted Carol let him into the lab. She let him, watching silently as he accessed FRIDAY.

“Can you access the last recorded video from Karen?”

Certainly, Colonel Rhodes. The AI’s voice was softer than usual, as if she too, was feeling the loss of Peter.

Carol glanced over at Tony, who was knocked out on the cot, before turning back to the screen.

“I have to,” was Rhodes answer to her unasked question. “I have to make sure we’re not wrong. I have to believe….”

“Play it.”

The image was blurry for the first few seconds, before clarifying. They watched as the explosion wrecked the building, sending both Peter and Tony flying backwards in opposite directions. The camera was still for three minutes. And then Peter’s voice came over the speakers. “No, no, no.”

“He survived the blast,” Carol breathed, transfixed by the screen.

“Whoa, let’s get you out of here, hm?” an unknown voice replaced Peter’s. Peter began to kick at the unknown figure, before the man’s voice spoke again. “Okay, we’re having none of that.”

The screen went dark.

“He could still be alive,” Carol shook Rhodes' shoulder. “He survived the blast. That man might have him.”

“We can’t tell Tony. If we do, and we’re wrong…”

“This stays between us,” Carol decided. “Can you connect to Karen? Find schematics of the base, see if there’s anything we missed? I can go check it out.”

Logically, Rhodes knew it would be best to talk through all the options, but in the current situation, if they could find Peter, get some closure, he knew they had to act quickly. “Go. I’ll see what I can find and keep you updated.”

Carol nodded, turning to make her way out of the room. “We’ll find him. We’ll bring him back. Alive.”

“I hope so.”

Tony’s dreams were plagued of the last time he had seen Peter. After waking up after the blast, Tony had looked around the room he was in, searching for Peter.

What he saw made him want to pass out again.

Peter was lying on the ground, eyes staring unseeing at the ceiling. The Spider-Man mask had been ripped away. The rest of the suit was mostly intact, save for the rip where a metal pipe had pinned Peter to the ground.

“Kid,” Tony breathed. “No, no, you’re okay. You’re going to be alright. You have a decathlon meet this weekend. You and Ned have that new movie you want to see next week. I promised May I’d get you back unharmed.”

He tried to stand, but as soon as he managed to get himself up, the roar of his thoughts washed over him and everything went black.

The next time he woke up, he was in a hospital bed, his teammates, except for Carol and Peter, hovering anxiously around him.

“No,” Tony shook his head as the memories stilled in his mind. His worst nightmare had come true. “Peter…”

He couldn’t look at anyone. He stayed in his lab, ignoring anyone’s attempt to talk to him. Tony had lost a lot, suffered a lot. But nothing hurt more than the memory of Peter’s lifeless body laying in front of him.

Tony wanted to self-destruct, wanted to scream and cry. He had lost one of the only people that he loved more than anything. He wanted to drown his sorrows in vodka and rum. But Carol had thrown the bottles away, and the promise Tony made to Peter not to drink himself into oblivion, kept him from attempting to buy any more.

He worked himself to exhaustion. When he fell asleep, his mind was blissfully blank, too exhausted from his work.

On the twelfth day, before he crashed, he caught the tail end of Rhodes and Carol’s conversation, something about a recording.

Carol held Peter close to her as she made her way out of the ruins. Rhodes was inside, cuffing the man who had held Peter hostage.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” Tony’s voice cut through. The faceplate was going down, the repulsers turning on. His movements were stiff, obviously still in pain. He wasn’t looking at her, instead focusing on the ground beneath him. “If there was any chance that—”

“Tony,” Carol stopped in front of him.

He looked up at her, before his attention dropped to the figure in her arms. Carol watched as the faceplate flew back up, Tony surging forward to make contact with the teenager in her arms. His fingers worked their way through Peter’s flattened curls, a sob breaking its way out.

Carefully, Carol lowered herself, and Tony, into a sitting position. As they waited for the paramedics and emergency response team, she rested Peter’s head in Tony’s lap, knowing he needed to reassure himself that Peter was really there. She sat next to them, shoulders tense in case a threat emerged.

Tony didn’t notice Rhodey leading the hostile out of the ruins. His focus was on the teenager draped across his and Carol’s laps. When he had woken up, three hours after Carol had left, and twenty-seven minutes after Rhodes had left, something had felt off. Tony had asked FRIDAY where they had gone, knowing fully well that they wouldn’t have left him alone unless something serious had come up.

When he heard that Peter could still be alive, Tony had ignored the searing pain in his limbs. He put on a suit, and made his way to the base where everything went wrong. He was ready to storm the base. When it came to Peter, he would do anything. Just as he had been about to charge in, Carol had walked out, bringing him the one thing that could ease the pain. A still-alive Peter Parker.

He didn’t notice anything going around him, too focused on the rising and falling of Peter’s chest. Tony was grateful for Carol and Rhodey for handling everything. Tony refused to take his eyes off the teenager, tracing the kid’s face as if memorizing him. He had though he lost him. Peter was thin, and Tony guessed he hadn’t eaten much, or anything, while captive. The teenager had small scars on the inside of his wrists, and his nails were ragged, but he was alive.

Tony knew, later, he would find out what had actually happened from Rhodey and Carol. They would make sure the man got what he deserved. Tony trusted them to make the right choices that he wouldn’t be able to make at the moment. Because all that mattered was that Peter was there, traumatized, but alive.

It was more than he could’ve hoped for.

[squishyisawitch-blog]

Entirely unsurprisingly

Entirely unsurprisingly, it's impossible to get in touch with any of the people who actually run these networks. None of the above entities from LiveJasmin, Streamate, or MyFreeCams responded to efforts to confirm that they do indeed exist and have some affiliation with the websites in question. All that's available is a semi-robotic technical support chat, which fields basic questions about how to use the site and credit card processing. These web cam kingpins might as well not exist. We don't know where the money goes."It's psychologically damaging to stay 12 hours in an office getting paid a minimum wage," she says.So who are these tireless women (or girls), these internet sex pioneers? Where do they live? Where did they come from? How did they wind up these poorly furnished, fluorescent-lit rooms in this oversaturated, low-res corner of the web? We wondered the same thing. So I talked to them.Theres so much free porn that I feel webcamming is more of a personal one-on-one. You can go online and find any ol stuff, but webcamming is more personal; its tailored exactly to what you want and what youre looking for. Youre not sharing it with 100 thousand other people. This is your show. Most of the time you build up a relationship, I talk to you as a friend and I respect you as a person. How has your day been, what did you get from the shops, what are you cooking for dinner… its like an online relationship.

It is true that when I am up on stage I feel powerful. In my 7-inch heels and latex leotards and frilly skirts, my body feels beautiful in a way that I dont see it in everyday life, and I feel confident and empowered. When the music comes on, I go with it, when I dance it is natural and its fun. The money is ultimately what I am here for, but this isnt just something I do just to pay the rent. This is my art, and whilst I am making myself sexually desirable, nobody can objectify me, as I hold that power. I am in control, because I objectify myself, if you like.And as a cam girl, you won't know where it's coming from. You'll get your split — typically around 35-percent, but sometimes upwards of 70 — siphoned to you via an innocuous credit card processing site like CCBill, while the site takes the rest of the cut. However you earn that cut is up to you. Some sites, like Streamate, allow actual sex to the point of orgy, while others limit your act to a solo show. You can do whatever you think will earn cash in the form of dollars-per-minute private shows or instant "tips". That's the formula. You're up against tens of thousands of women (and men, to a lesser degree) offering the same product in varying versions. That's a tough stab at making a living, even with your clothes on.Lana works in Room 8. It is dominated by a circular bed with cushions. There is a wardrobe containing some of her clothes.So as I sat there, in front of my laptop, I thought to myself, Why didnt I just respond the way that I normally do when somebody proclaims something which I dont agree with? Why didnt I just say, firmly but reasonably, you are wrong and these are the reasons why… Perhaps it was because it was so personal, that I felt like for once, I wasnt defending femininity as a whole, but just myself. Which on the surface would seem like a less daunting task, but for me it left me stumped. I knew that I was a feminist and it wasnt often that I had to justify myself to anybody. I was used to breaking down all the reasons that men used to justify their behavior.

It sucks, because Cam Girling was pretty fun: I got to choose my own hours, what I wore, what I did and who I wanted to talk to. The paranoia that came with the knowledge of the stigma attached was the only downside. That and the random twelvie trolls that would appear and write: Your face is shiny in the comments. Yeah mate, its 40 degrees. Cant you read the profile that says, Australian?Streamate sells its models through a variety of repackaged and re-skinned websites, like PornHubLive — using the site's well-known brand as an easy in with porn consumers. In reality, it's the same old site in new clothes. Streamate itself is hard to pin down. Trying to find who actually owns it is dizzying: The domain belongs to Flying Crocodile Incorporated, which has a PO box in Seattle. Job openings point to a nebulous firm called NaiadDev, also based in Seattle (and hosted by FlyingCroc). But the company's custodian of records is one Rena Erotocritou, employed by "Ariel Secretaries Limited", a ghost of a company based out of Cyprus.The basic premise of the cam girl game is a simple one: You pay a girl for her time, and in exchange, she'll take off her clothes, talk to you, play with herself (and others), or any combination thereof. When your money is up, so's your time — the two of you part ways until you've got the cash and willingness to go at it again. And when that time comes, you'll have thousands upon thousands of girls ready to swivel and smile for you in real time. It's a massive catalogue of preening women of every variety: big, skeletal, black, white, Asian, American, Greek, Czech, etc. To find them, look no further than the Big Three of cam girl delight: Streamate, LiveJasmine and MyFreeCams. These three mega-networks advertise across the mainstream porn tube sites of masturbating ubiquity — PornHub, ClipHunter, etc — but are shells and shadows themselves. So how do you get in?I have considered opening up my profile again a few times since, and very well might once I get over the ‘what will people​ think?’ ​paranoia, and memorise the retort I have planned regarding the government youth unemployment in Australia: With youth unemployment currently sitting around 13%, creating your own job using the resources you already have (in this case, internet connection, webcam, studio lighting and cute knickers) becomes a much more viable option than waiting for callbacks from the 20 resumes you sent out last week. That said, the idea of my future prospects of employability could be damaged if this was discovered, and I do wonder about the percentage of money the site makes versus the percentages the models make. CONTINUED BELOW...

[imgilmoregirl]

AO3 Link

Notes: No warnings, you all. Have some answers about the accident and who planned it.

The Fall

The Storybrooke General Hospital had become one of the Golds' most visited places within the last seven months. Their worst memories were made there and, as a desperate Isabelle paced around the waiting room, still wearing her pyjamas and a large oversized coat, she knew there were no good news coming. They had rushed out of the library to Robert's car as soon as she was able to grab her purse with all the documents, carrying an unconscious Sarah in her arms. Once they arrived the hospital, Ariel, Doctor Whale's new apprentice took her away for the same exams they always did there: blood, urine and tomography, the last one to be sure any sequels of the coma were showing up all of the sudden.

Gold was sat on one of the many chairs, holding his cane tight in his hands, his brow pressed against the golden handle. He and Belle were tired, all this preoccupation exhausting them in a way nobody could even begin to imagine, but they showed it in very different ways. She was agitated, couldn't quite stop walking for a second, because Belle felt like her mind was about to explode, Robert however was quiet and solemn, preferring to just wait in silence. A part of him wanted to reach for her, ask his wife to take a seat too and try to calm her down, but he knew this wasn't going to work.

As soon as Whale appeared on the hallway, Belle rushed towards him and Gold quickly did the same, standing up slowly with the help of his cane and following her to where the doctor was, his brow narrowed as he took a look at his papers, waiting for Robert to reach them.

"Doctor Whale, please, what is happening to our daughter?" Belle insisted to know.

"The medicines are not working," he told them in deep sigh. "Actually, I think her body is rejecting them and that's why she threw up and that's bad because the anaemia is getting worse."

A sob erupted from Belle's throat. She didn’t want to be crying in the middle of a full hospital for the tenth time, but she couldn’t believe it was happening to them, he must have done something really bad to be tempting fate this way, Belle must deserve all of this pain for some reason, but Sarah? Poor little Sarah was the purest being in that world, she didn’t deserve any of it.

"And what are we going to do?" Belle questioned, her voice a low, choking sound.

"Alice Madden will be here tomorrow with her daughter for the test,” Whale told them. “She is five months long into her pregnancy, so if her baby is compatible, we can try another kind of medicines to help Sarah until her due date."

"But what if her baby is not compatible?" Gold inquired.

Belle was glad he asked it, because the question immediately popped up in her head when Whale finished his discourse, but she didn’t know if she would be able to form the right words to ask it. She felt her husband’s hand on the small of her back, stroking soothingly and thought that at least she was glad she didn’t have to go through all of this alone. Knowing someone else felt that same pain was somehow, comforting.

"I'll make a few calls to some fellow friends in Seattle to see if they can help, but I wouldn't be hopeful," the doctor said. "My assistant, Ariel is with her, so I'll prescribe some new meds and you two can take Sarah home."

"Thank you," Robert promptly murmured.

"You're welcome," Whale answered, writing something down on a piece of paper and handing it to him. "If anything changes, bring her back."

Even though he was still balanced by the news, Gold somehow was more in control of his feelings than Belle were, so when she collapsed against him, hiding her face on his chest as her body trembled and her tears soaked his jacket, he was ready to catch her, holding her close and kissing the top of her head as she cried.

"This can't be happening..."

"We will find a compatible donor, Belle," he promised, although he knew it was a foolish thing to do.

At this point he wasn’t sure if there was anything that could be done to save Sarah anymore, but if he started to think that she wasn’t going to survive, then he would go mad. Things had been so fast when Bae died, that when he woke up from his surgery, the boy was already long gone, but with Sarah, they were there fighting with her and he wasn’t going to give up now, even more knowing he had been the first to attempt to give up on her when she was in coma.

Pulling away from him, Belle lifted her eyes to the same level as his. Her lips were shaking and pale, the dark bags under her eyes a real proof that Sarah wasn’t the only one slowly dying.

"The chances are small,” she whispered, “you've heard what Whale said."

"Yes, but you were always the one saying we can't lose faith."

She shook her head taking a step back when he tried to reach for her. Gold sighed, remembering about Archie’s words and how he had said Belle was going to need time, because she was still healing and if he tried to press her into anything – even if it was, just accepting his love and comfort – she might make a regression in her treatment.

"I should be the one able to help our daughter, don't you understand?” Belle yelled loud enough for everyone in the waiting room to hear it. “But my freaking body doesn't work anymore."

"Hey, I know," Robert assured her. "This is not your fault, alright? We will find another way to cure her."

Pressing her lips tight together, she nodded, allowing Gold to take her hand and slowly hug her again until her breath had taken a normal rhythm again and her heartbeat was almost stead again. Ariel appeared a couple of minutes later, saying Sarah was being discharged and was already ready to be taken home.

They then were guided to the room where she was, waiting impatiently for her parents. Sarah’s eyebrows narrowed when Belle offered a hand to her on their way out of the hospital and she took it with a funny look on her face.

"Mama, why are you crying?"

"Nothing," Belle said, wiping the corners of her eyes and smiling at her. "I'm just silly."

Sarah laughed slightly at this, letting herself be led to the car. Then Belle nestled her in her own arms, ignoring the children’s car seat as they drove home, because she needed to feel her daughter’s warmth and believe, even if just for a few seconds that everything was going to be fine.

By the time Gold parked his car outside the library Sarah had already fallen asleep and Belle had to carry her to their apartment while he opened all doors for them. She laid Sarah on the couch and covered her with a blanket, decided to let her have a little rest before she woke her to take a bath and change those clothes, she sighed deeply looking up at Gold who was still standing near the opened front door.

"See you tomorrow at lunch?"

"Robert... I - I need some time, alright?” She whispered feeling tears burning her eyes again. “It will be better if we don't start trying anything right now."

"Alright," he murmured, offering no resistance to her decision. "If you need anything, just call me, ok?"

Belle swallowed hard as she nodded. She didn’t know why, but she was expecting him to fight for this, for them, but she was a fool. Seven month ago, when she went away, he never truly looked for her so why would he insist in restoring their marriage now? And that was what she wanted, wasn’t it?

Accompanying him to the door, Isabelle murmured in the most confident voice she could manage to use: "Goodnight."

But when he left, she fell to the floor and started to cry again.

On Monday morning, Jefferson parked his car in front of his house after dropping Alice and Grace at the hospital for the compatibility test. Grace was going to school after that and Alice wanted to pay a visit to Belle then, so he went back home alone, decided to do some work, but his plans were interrupted when he saw there was a nervous man standing by his doorstep, trying to look through the windows, which would be weird if he didn't know exactly who that was. Jefferson got his keys and walked silently towards the man, cleaning his throat when he was close enough and making him jump, startled.

He turned around to see house's owner smiling at him as he toyed with the keys in his hand. Rogers' cheeks flushed a bit as he took a step away from the door, clearly ashamed for have been found there this way.

"Excuse me, you're Jefferson Madden, right?"

"Yeah, and you must be the detective that has been annoying Gold. Rogers, right?" Jefferson said with a smirk, finding the surprised look in the other man's face totally amusing. The detective appeared to be confused, so he explained: "There is no one new is this town, so believe me, by now everybody knows who you are."

Rogers nodded, solemnly. He was starting to miss Seattle, he had never lived in a small town like that and the fact that everybody knew everything - well, almost everything - about everyone was really weird to him. The detective needed to admit he had only accepted that job because he needed a break from his life in Hyperion Heights. His ex-wife Eloise had been annoying him quite a lot lately, insisting in seeing their daughter, Tilly, more times a week.

He wouldn't have minded sharing the girl, but Eloise never truly cared for her and seemed to only want to annoy him now that he was seeing someone else. Ever since they arrived Storybrooke, however, Rogers had gotten to spend some precious time with Tilly, taking her to the pier, reading to her or just playing chess, but now he needed to focus on his work, or they would never make it back home and he would never see his girlfriend again. And she would be really pissed off if he broke his promise of not being back soon.

"Right," Rogers answered. "Can we have a little talk, please?"

Jefferson nodded and opened the door.

"Come in."

Taking some steps inside, Rogers found himself in one of the biggest houses he had ever been at. Storybrooke seemed to have quite a few of them, as the mayor owned her own little mansion and the Golds' seemed to have quite a nice salmon palace. Back home everything was about tiny modern apartments but here, most buildings were houses and even the room he was sharing with Tilly at the inn was bigger than most of the places where he had lived along the years.

People in here apparently had a lot of money to waste as even the furniture seemed to be expensive, not to say that the wallpaper and the floor were so clean that it could have been pulled on just yesterday.

"So, what do you want from me?" Jefferson asked, taking him away from his musings.

Rogers watched as he took a seat on the black leather couch, relaxed and intrigued. The detective folded his arms, mentally going back to the moment he was analysing Mr. Gold's file.

"Answers. Nobody talks about Robin's death, the ones who must know something about it refuse to and I've never felt more lost in my whole life," Rogers started. "I figured, since you're Gold's best friend you could know something about the case."

"He hardly speaks about it," Madden responded in a serious tone of voice. "Robert lost his son, because he was involved with it and he is still paying the price for trying to do the right thing help."

"I've heard it plentily enough times," he snorted.

Clasping his hands on his lap, Jefferson narrowed his eyes at him, carefully thinking about what to say next, as he knew it all was a dangerous game in which he didn't want to get involved too. After that accident - the car sabotage - no one would dare angering the man that killed Robin, but also didn't think he should go unpunished this way.

"Well then, detective, I don't know as much about the case as Gold does, but I think I might have some useful information, as long as you be aware that I'm denying I have ever spoke to you if someone asks," Jefferson warned. "I have a wife, a daughter and another little one on the way, so I have to be careful."

"Of course."

"Robin was married before he started seeing Regina," Jefferson started. "Marian was her name. She died of cancer."

Arching an eyebrow at it, Rogers chuckled, because he had heard plentily enough bad things around town for that to not surprise him. Not that Seattle was any different, because when you work as a detective you get to know all the craziest stuff, but the truth was that he never expected such a small place to have so many horrible things happening.

"This town is full of tragic stories, huh?"

"The thing is, Marian was engaged before marrying Robin," Jefferson shrugged. "He got himself in a lot of trouble for her, but after she passed and he married Regina I think he started to think himself untouchable and he really was until two people came back into town."

"The two suspects of Gold's list," Rogers finished.

Jefferson nodded.

"Keith Nottingham and Jonathan Hades."

"So, these are the names," Rogers exclaimed. "But why would they want Robin dead?"

He was pacing around the living room now, trying to think and rationalize. Of course, Rogers didn't know anything about Nottingham or Hades, but if wasn't difficult to discover the reasons behind a murderer when you had years of experience in the area. But Jefferson, however, was willing to give him more information to help with it.

"Keith was Marian's fiancé and Hades, well, let's just say that Robin defied him in a way no one should."

Rogers nodded, drumming his fingers against his own arm.

"Do you know each one of them Gold was betting to be the killer?"

"No, he never told me, but if you want to know more about Robin you should ask his best friend Will Scarlet," Madden suggested. "If he is sober he might say something that makes sense."

A drunk. Wonderful. Well, but at least now he had something to work with and not just all those clues about people he didn't know anything about gathered in a few pieces of paper full of red notes.

"Uh, yeah," Rogers said, already making his way to the door. "Thank you for your time, Mr. Madden."

Then, he left to find who exactly Will Scarlet was and how could he help him.

Seven months ago.

Billy called Robert on a particularly cold Tuesday afternoon. He and his father were the only mechanics in town and David Nolan had sent the destroyed Cadillac for them to analyse. Gold didn’t really believe there was anything wrong with the car until that call, but when Billy told him about the brakes everything made sense. That day, before the accident, the last bits of information Regina provided him made Gold realise that Keith was just a jerk, but not a killer, however with Hades the story was very different.

He would do anything for revenge, including killing and he didn’t want to go to jail, so he needed to eliminate the only threat he had at the moment: Robert Gold. The quickest solution would be sabotaging his car and letting him die as if an accident happened, but what Hades might not have imagined – or maybe he was cruel enough to have considered that option after all – was that Gold would have his whole family in the car with him when it happened.

He was feeling weak when he entered the bedroom that night, finding Belle already under the covers, eyes swollen and hair tangled around her face. Gold took a seat beside her, not wanting to speak, but knowing that she would never forgive him if he kept this secret from her.

“My car was sabotaged. Someone cut off the brakes,” he said in an emotionless voice. “I think it was Jonathan Hades.”

Belle blinked. Her body was tense and her brow had wrinkled in confusion.

“Why?”

“He is the one who killed Robin de Locksley,” Gold told her. “It should have been me.”

He thought she would scream, maybe slap him and tell him how right she was from the very start and he should have never get involved in that case in first place, but all Belle did was to reach for the lamp and switch it off before turning around on the bed without another word.

Present days.

Sometimes Belle wished she simply didn't need to work. It was a very new thing for her, as she had always enjoyed her time at the library and loved organizing the shelves, but now it was getting hard for her. Most of the time, Belle just wanted to be home, taking care of Sarah and bothering all the hospitals in the United States to get the cells that could save her, but instead, she was sat in front of the circulation desk, taking notes of the last books that had been returned when she felt a little hand tapping her leg and looked down to see her smiley daughter pointing at the jar near her.

"Can I have a gumball?"

"No," Belle answered, pulling the jar away from her.

"Why not?"

"Because you already had one."

Sarah made a whiny sound, climbing up the spare chair and reaching for her colouring kit. What she really wanted was to be at school, playing with her friends, but Belle had decided that it was better if she stayed home a couple of days until she was sure Sarah wasn't going to faint all of the sudden as she did in the night prior. She had gone to a drugstore earlier and bought the new medicines Whale prescribed for her and Sarah already took them, so she was watching for any bad reactions.

It was weird to have become this pessimist person, but after so many tragedies, Belle couldn't quite relax. She heard the door opening and glanced up to see if anybody needed help, but the only person who entered was Will Scarlet, which made a grimace cross her face at his silly smile.

"Good morning, Mrs. Gold!"

"Morning, Will," she mumbled, moodily.

Belle never thought she could hate Regina as much as she did when she thought her husband was having an affair with her, but now she did. Will was the world's most annoying person and she hated having him around. She couldn't quite understand why the mayor would send him to work there when there were so many other jobs available around town, but maybe Regina also disliked her a lot. Tapping her nails on the desk, she waited for him to disappear, but Will continued to stand there.

"I see you have a little assistant today," he said. "She is as pretty as you are."

He was smiling fondly at Sarah, who glanced at him quickly with an equally sweet smile for just a second before looking back at her draw, but it was just enough to make Belle furrow.

"Mr. Scarlet, I believe the bathroom is in need of a cleaning."

"Oh, come on, I like children."

With that, Belle stood up, grabbing Will’s arm and dragging him between the corridors to where the library’s bathroom was set. She pushed him inside, resting both hands on her own hips as she gave him her most threatening look. This wasn’t a good day and if he wanted to survive his shift he’d better not play any games with her.

"One of my rules for you was to stay away from Sarah, so you're going to clean the bathroom and disappear from my sight."

"You look pretty stressed, Mrs. Gold,” Will said with a wink. “You could come with me, so I could help you relax a bit."

She gasped. Belle couldn’t believe he was really insisting on this. As someone who had travelled through different countries and cultures, Belle had heard a lot of harassment, but will was seriously getting her mad and the fact that she had to actually work with him every single day only made things worse.

"Listen up, jerk, you're only here because the mayor wants you to, but keep with this shitty talk and I'll let the library close, but I won't have you working in here."

Will arched an eyebrow and was about to say something when they heard a small voice coming from behind Belle.

"Mama, aunt Ruby is here!"

Sighing Belle turned around on her heels and got a firm hold on her daughter's hand, taking her back to the front of the library with her and leaving Will behind. Ruby was waiting by the circulation desk, tracing invisible patterns on the wooden surface.

"Hey."

"Hey, I came over to know how Sarah is doing."

Following her daughter's movements under the desk with her eyes, Belle came closer to Ruby, not wanting the little girl to hear what they were saying. Sarah knew she was sick, but Isabelle and Robert had agreed to spare her about the details, which also entailed how bad her illness were getting. She didn't want Sarah to think she was dying nor that her parents were constantly sad because of her, so the less Sarah knew the better.

"She is not going to school for a few days, but she seems to be better today," Belle said, gesturing to the small figure playing with books a little further away from where they were. "We are trying the new meds Whale gave her and waiting. The result of the compatibility test will take a month or so to be ready because it is being analysed in Seattle."

"You will get a positive," Ruby guaranteed, squeezing her hand.

Belle wanted to believe it with everything she had, but lately she wasn't finding any hope inside herself. For a very brief moment, when she was kissing Gold in the middle of her living room, she  thought maybe things could go right this time, that the night they spent together was the beginning of a new chance for their marriage, but then her world was crush down and it hurt so damn much that she didn't want to have the chance of experiencing pain again, so she backed off, but it also hurt.

She was so angry at herself, both for not being able to keep a relationship with Gold and for not being able to give Sarah the cure she needed. Just thinking about that got her to feel sick all over again.

"I'm getting afraid, Ruby. Afraid like I've never been in my whole life."

"What about Gold? How are you two coping with it and your new-old relationship?"

Her friend's dark eyes were fixed on her and Belle had to look away, because she felt really bad for how much she was closing herself lately.

"I..." Belle swallowed. "I stepped back."

"Why?"

"Because I'm a mess right now. I can't live with myself and I doubt Robert would manage to live with me again," she said with a snort. "I feel horrible all the time and all this situation with Sarah only makes me feel worse."

"Oh Belle - "

Ruby was looking at her with pity again, making her stomach twist, reminding Belle that she was a great failure. If her old twenty-four-year old self was told what would come of her eleven years later, she would have laughed. She had been such a joyful person back then, just settling herself back into her hometown after so many travels and falling deeply in love with a man nobody approved. Her life had a happy, wild taste back then and she missed those days more than she could ever tell.

Blinking away some tears she took a step forward, hugging Ruby tight, because she needed to know not everything good was over. They stayed there, holding each other for a while before the library's door was open and someone entered, interrupting the moment.

"Mrs. Gold, very good morning to you," said the ironically cheerful Jonathan Hades. "Ms. Lucas."

In Ruby's arms, Belle shivered. She pulled away from her, looking up at the redhaired man, and feeling herself shrink at the same time her heart attempted to explode inside her chest. Oh God, she was really going to be sick... He was the very last person Belle would expect to see at the library and his visit was the very last thing she needed right now.

"Mr. Hades, hello," the brunette forced herself to say.

Ruby shared a quick glance with her, keeping a hand on Belle's back, stroking in circles very slowly, trying to show some support as Hades took a piece of paper from his suit jacket’s pocket and handed it to her.

"I was hoping you could find this book for me."

"Sure," Belle murmured.

Trying to keep herself up on her feet she walked towards the shelves with the books from the author he was looking for, but once she reached it, Belle had to take a moment to simply breath in and hold herself against a wall. She was panting, shaking, her eyes were filled with tears and Belle lamented the fact her pills weren't anywhere near, because she really needed them right now. Jonathan Hades was there. The man that killed her son was waiting for a fucking book while she tried to not freak out.

A dark part of her she didn't know that existed, wanted to have some kind of weapon in hand, so she could give in to his murderer feeling inside her and make justice with her own hands, avenging her poor Baden's death. She wanted to kill Hades with her bare hands, for everything he made her go through in the last seven months, but she couldn't, so she found the book and went back to where he was with the fakest of the smiles on her lips.

Hades took the book from her with a grateful nod, drumming his fingers against the cover, before letting his eyes wander to the photography in her desk.

"Beautiful family picture this one," he pointed out. "A pity that live doesn't lasts forever, right? But making babies is such enjoyable business that I bet you soon will have another one like that."

Belle gritted her teeth, getting a hold of the desk so she would keep her hands away from his throat. How could he come there and talk this way about her child's death?

"Uh, no," she forced herself to mumble. "I can't, actually, I'm not fertile anymore."

"What a horrible thing," he answered as if shocked.

Go away, Belle's mind screamed. She couldn't take another second of this, even knowing Ruby was right by her side to help if anything might happen, but thankfully Sarah's arrival made her thoughts stop for a few seconds.

"Mama," the little girl called, stretching her arms in a plead for being taken up and Belle reached to pick her, nestling Sarah against her chest as she showed up a folded piece of paper. "Will helped me making a plane!"

In other moments, Belle would have been angry to know Scarlet hadn't taken her advice to stay away from her daughter, but with the killer's eyes fixed in them, she could barely give it a thought.

"Sweet Sarah Gold, miraculously awakened from coma," Hades said, slowly. "Some people are very lucky, a pity not everybody is. But well, thanks for the book."

As he made his way out, Belle let herself fall to her chair, breathing hard and clutching Sarah close, knowing she would never be able to see that man and not feel like she was watching Baden being buried all over again.

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Devilish (3/10)

Summary: It all starts with a bra. Librarian Belle French is looking to start life afresh after leaving a toxic relationship. Photographer Aiden Gold is feeling old after learning he’s going to become a grandfather. Thanks to a lingerie catalogue named ‘Devilish’, a chain of events is set in motion that causes their lives to intertwine…

Rated: This chapter is T.

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[One] [Two] [AO3]

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Devilish

Chapter Three – When You’re Ready

If there was one thing that Belle could say for Devilish, it was that everything about it was discreet. The head office building that she was currently sitting outside looked like any ordinary office building, with just the devil horns decal to show that she was in the right place. She glanced over at Ariel in the driver’s seat of the car; her friend gave her an encouraging smile which Belle could not bring herself to return, and she worried her bottom lip between her teeth. For all she had been looking forward to this experience, now that she was actually here and about to do it, she was having second thoughts.

“Is this the part where you expect me to talk you out of doing this?” Ariel asked, her encouraging smile becoming a cheeky grin before Belle’s eyes. “Because it’s not going to happen. I think you’re doing a great thing, and if this doesn’t get rid of all those horrible negative thoughts that Gaston’s shoved into your head, then I don’t know what will.”

“I don’t know, Ariel. I mean, what if I make a complete fool of myself in front of everyone else?”

“Well, everyone else is an amateur like you, so I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about in that respect. And the photographer’s probably a nice guy otherwise they wouldn’t have kept him around for however many catalogues they’ve had. You’ll be fine. Just go in there and enjoy it. Make some friends. Hey, you never know, there might be someone you recognise in there. And at the end of the day, just think of the free samples that you’re going to get to take home with you afterwards.”

Belle nodded. That was one thing that was keeping her going, the thought that she’d get a few lovely Devilish pieces out of this. She took a deep breath and got out of the car, clutching all the paperwork that she’d printed out over the last couple of weeks. It was almost like being back in the street outside the shop again, except this time there were no window displays to show the public exactly what kind of a place she was entering.

“Get inside!” Ariel yelled from the car through the open window, and Belle hurried into the building before her friend could cause any more of a spectacle outside.

It was a small office space, no reception desk to speak of, and Belle found herself alone in the little lobby, wondering where on earth to go now and what she was going to do with herself, but she didn’t have long to wait before the quick clicking of high heels came down a corridor and Belle found herself face to face with Carella de Ville herself. Although she’d seen pictures of Devilish’s founder in the catalogue, meeting her in the flesh was another thing entirely. The photograph didn’t really do justice to quite how terrifying she was, dressed completely in stark monochrome down to her two-tone hair. Luckily, she was smiling, but Belle thought that if she was ever angry, then she would be spectacular to behold and everyone who witnessed her would probably run for cover. Hopefully she would stay smiling throughout the day. She took the paperwork from Belle’s unresisting hands and flicked through it.

“Hello there, you must be Belle. Welcome to the office. It’s not the swankiest of places, although not for want of trying, but do make yourself at home. If you’d like to follow me, I’ll get you settled in.”

Powerless to resist, Belle just nodded and trotted along after Ella into what she assumed was the break room. Several other women were already there, sitting in groups and chatting to each other, there were several sofas and chairs set up and a refreshments table in one corner. It was clear that they already knew each other, and Belle felt a lot like the odd one out.

“Hey, Belle!”

She was startled on hearing her own name from one corner of the room and even more startled when she glanced over and saw Ruby from the shop waving her over. However alarmed she was at finding someone she knew there despite her private ridicule of Ariel’s optimism, she was grateful to see a friendly face and made her way over to the group that Ruby was sitting with, waving awkwardly. Ruby took it all in her stride and made quick introductions to the other women, whose names Belle almost immediately forgot apart from Mary Margaret, who was bouncing a baby on her lap.

“So, first time huh?” Ruby said. “You’ll be fine. It’s a piece of cake, Gold makes it really easy for you. All you have to do is smile and have confidence.”

“Yes…” Belle shook her head. “That’s the part I’m having trouble with.”

“Well, you’re here,” Ruby said. “That’s a step in the right direction. It’s a bit too late to back out now. But everything will be all right, I promise. This is my second time doing the catalogue and I remember how it feels the first time. You feel like everyone’s looking at you, but they’re not really. I mean, it’s not like you’re the only one in your underwear. No-one’s going to laugh at you.”

“You weren’t around for the last Christmas shoot, were you Ruby?” said one of the other women – Kathryn, Belle remembered. “Because it was the big Christmas special Gold had to bring in his assistant who promptly intended to spend the entire day in just his boxers in order to try and put the ladies at ease. Gold made him get dressed again in the end, he said he was a distraction.”

“Do you think we could get Gold to strip down one of these days?” Ruby mused. “I mean, not that he doesn’t look great in his suits, but you know… You get curious.”

Kathryn shook her head with a laugh. “Ruby, you know what we all say about him.”

“I know, I know. Doesn’t stop me wondering though.”

“What do you all say about him?” Belle asked, but before she could get an answer, the door had opened and someone who could only have been the man himself peered around it, scanning the room. Momentarily his eyes widened, and Belle thought she could make out the words ‘oh good lord’ from his lips, but since he wasn’t looking at her, she felt safe in the knowledge that he wasn’t going to turn her away out of hand. Not that such a thing was likely to happen anyway – the last couple of weeks had been a constant back and forth between Belle and one of Ella’s assistants explaining how the shooting process would work, and he would have already seen pictures of her.

He vanished as quickly as he had arrived in the room, and then Ella and her assistant (the same one who’d been emailing her, Belle noted) started organising things with an ease that showed this was definitely not the first time they’d done it, and whilst none of the women were professionals, the people in charge certainly were. It was interesting that there were so many women there who had been to a catalogue shoot before – it showed that they were treated well at least and had enjoyed the experience enough to return. All the same, Belle had hoped that there would be another first-timer whom she could buddy up with. Well, she had Ruby and would stick by her side as much as she could. Hopefully the other woman wouldn’t mind.

Fate, however, was not on her side, as Ruby had come to model some of the more risqué pieces from the ‘naughty’ end of the catalogue and was whisked off for fittings, and Belle was left adrift, so she settled for just listening in to the others’ conversations as people came in and out for make-up and fittings. Finally it was her turn, and Astrid the ever-smiling assistant led her away into a little fitting cubicle.

“All right, we’ve laid out a few pieces in your size,” she said. “Take a look and see what takes your fancy, we’ll make sure it fits nicely and then we’re good to go. I know it’s your first time so we’ll take it slow; no need to be scared.”

Belle settled on a set in rich turquoise silk, a full cup bra and French knickers. She might be modelling for an underwear catalogue but that didn’t mean that she couldn’t still want good coverage. Astrid proclaimed the fit to be perfect and Belle gratefully donned the dark robe hanging in the cubicle before following Astrid out into the space that was being used as a studio.

“Ella likes to keep a certain amount of control over things,” Astrid explained, “which is why everything’s done here rather than in Gold’s studio. He always works wonders with the space, you’d never guess that this was an office during the week.”

Gold was halfway up a stepladder adjusting a light fitting as Belle entered, and she stood there awkwardly for a moment waiting for him to finish and taking a good look at him.

Although she’d spent more than enough time on Gold’s website in the run up to sending in her application, none of the photos in his online portfolio were of himself, and the snippets of conversation that she’d picked up from the other ladies in the break room hadn’t really given her an idea of what he was like. The brief glimpse she’d seen of him earlier had not done him justice.

He was older than she’d anticipated, but that didn’t bother her. In fact it was reassuring; although she’d had several assurances from various sources that he was always the picture of professionalism, she didn’t think that seeing someone in Gaston’s age range would have done anything to boost her confidence. Aiden Gold looked to be in his early fifties; there were the odd tell-tale lines of grey in his collar length hair lending him an air of distinguished gravitas. Presently he glanced down at her and smiled.

“I’ll be with you in a minute. Just need to fix this in case it falls on your head. Take a seat and make yourself comfortable.”

The low Scottish brogue surprised her and Belle did as bid, settling in the armchair in the middle of the makeshift studio and watching Gold on his stepladder. He was wearing what had evidently at one point been a three-piece suit, but the jacket and tie had been discarded in one corner and his shirt was open at the collar, making him look stylishly dishevelled. She’d never known any man dress so sharply in his everyday work and she wondered if he wore a suit as a matter of course when he was photographing people or whether it was something special for the Devilish catalogue. She didn’t think that it would give him all that much freedom of movement to give him the best angles and shots that he needed.

“So, you’re a first timer,” he said. “Don’t worry, we’ll talk you through it all. There’s nothing to worry about, just be natural. That’s the whole point.” He made a final adjustment to the light and descended the ladder. “There, that should do it. I’ll introduce myself properly now. Aiden Gold, photographer. Pleased to meet you.”

“Belle French. It’s nice to meet you too.”

His hand was warm and soft when she shook it, his grip firm and confident, and Belle felt a little more at ease. She’d never really trusted people who had handshakes like limp fish.

“Well, Belle, the main thing is to enjoy the experience, and don’t worry about it looking perfect. You’re not a professional, none of the ladies are, and we don’t expect you to act and pose like one. Just as long as you’re comfortable, we’ll go from there. If you just smile for the camera then I’ll take a couple of test shots to check the lighting.”

Belle smiled, and found that it was remarkably easy to do so. Gold’s camera clicked a few times and she saw the satisfied smile he gave as he looked back through the pictures.

“Lovely. You’re a natural, you know. Now, let’s work out a nice position for you, something that you feel comfortable in. What do you normally do to relax? If you were at home on your own sofa in an evening, what kind of a position would you sit in?”

Somewhat self-conscious, Belle brought her feet up and tucked them underneath her, lounging against the chair back in as close an approximation of her cosy reading nook at home as she could.

“I like to read,” she said. “Get lost in a good book.”

“Perfect. I think I have just the thing.” He sped away to the side of the room and returned with a paperback from a large duffel bag. “Always pays to have props, especially for first-timers. This way, you don’t need to worry about looking at the camera and having it look back at you. I think I’ve got another in there if that one’s not to your taste.”

Belle glanced down at the cover, it was Watership Down and she couldn’t help but giggle that Gold should have brought a book about bunnies to the photoshoot with him. “No, this one will do fine.”

“Perfect. Now, if you take your robe off, I’ll get to work.”

The old unease came back into Belle’s mind as she unfastened the robe and slipped it off her shoulders; the room was warm from the lights and the space heaters in the corner, but she still felt goose pimples break out over her arms as she disrobed. Gold had politely looked away as she took it off and settled herself with the book, but now he turned back and smiled.

“That’s beautiful,” he said. “Now, I’ll be taking the pictures from directly in front of you here.” He planted himself in front of the chair, bending a little to get the right angle. “You can look at the book or at me, or off into the middle distance if you want. Just keep the book in your lap rather than holding it up – ultimately it’s the bra that’s going into the catalogue, not the book, although it’s one of my favourites and I certainly don’t mind advertising it.”

Belle had to laugh. “I don’t think I’d have put you down as the bunny book type.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised by some people’s foibles when it comes to reading material.” Gold gave a chuckle of his own.

“Believe me, I know all about reading material foibles. I’m a librarian when I’m not looking like a deer in the headlights.”

“I can promise you that you’re not looking like a deer in the headlights,” Gold said, and the camera took Belle by surprise when it clicked.

“Wait, no, I wasn’t ready!” Belle exclaimed.

“Oh no, you were looking absolutely perfect.” Gold grinned. “I had to capture the moment, it was wonderful. You looked so happy and natural.” He held out the camera. “You can see for yourself if you don’t believe me.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” There was something in his caring, open manner that made Belle trust him, perhaps more than she would have done otherwise. “You know,” she said, “you’re not how I imagined you’d be.”

The corner of Gold’s mouth quirked up in a smile. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“No, no, it’s good. I was kind of worried that you’d be, oh, I don’t know how to describe it. Scarily professional, I guess.”

“Well, I try to be professional. I don’t intend to be scary although my Ella has more than once accused me of having resting bitch face. I try and only be scary when I want to be, and I have no desire to scare you. Others, perhaps, but not you. Now, let me take a couple more shots and then you can wrap up again. You’re doing really well, I promise. It’ll be a piece of cake.”

The fact that everyone else around her seemed to have so much confidence in her ability to pull this off boosted Belle’s own confidence, and she closed the book in her lap, smiling for the camera. Her goose pimples had gone, and she was feeling unusually warm. Was it the attention she was receiving from Gold making her feel this way? It was nothing special, surely, he must act this way with all the models; perhaps paying her a little more attention because she was new. Either way, although she was nervous, she was feeling good as Gold snapped a couple more pictures.

“That’s very good. You can wrap up again now and change into something else for the afternoon session.”

“Afternoon session?”

“Yes. There are more products than models so we have to double up.” Gold winked at her. “And since you’ve sat so well, I’d like you to model again, if you’re amenable to that.”

Belle slipped the robe on thankfully and pulled it tight. She was horribly aware of the heat rising in her cheeks, a mixture of embarrassment and disbelief that she’d actually managed to go through with this venture. Eventually she nodded.

“Yes. I’d like that.”

“Would you like to see?” Gold asked, holding up the camera as she turned to leave the room. Belle paused, tempted, but ultimately she decided against it.

“No, thanks. I’ll wait for the catalogue.”

“As you wish, Belle. I’ll see you again later.”

Belle nodded, finding that against all the odds, she was very much looking forward to the experience.

X

“I wonder what her game is.”

It was the lunch break and most of the ladies were milling about in their robes in the main room designated as the waiting area.

Mary Margaret had been the one to speak and Belle glanced over at her; she nodded in the direction of the doorway before turning her attention back to baby Leo, who was nursing happily. Belle followed her gaze to see a red-headed woman chatting to Gold. Well, chatting to him didn’t seem to be the right word to use in the circumstances. She was talking at him and he didn’t seem to be showing the blindest bit of interest in what she was saying. His arms were folded, defensive, a posture that didn’t take any nonsense as she leaned in, obviously posing. Most of the ladies opted to cover up in the time between shoots for warmth if nothing else, but this woman was definitely making the most of what she had.

“She’s not going to get very far if she’s trying to score with him.” Kathryn came over and sat down beside them, watching the interplay with morbid interest. “You know what they say.”

“What do they say?” Belle asked.

“I forgot, this is your first time.” Kathryn nodded towards Gold. “We’re pretty sure he’s gay.”

“Oh.” Although Belle had not seriously been considering making an attempt with Gold like the other woman was doing, she had certainly found him attractive and would have flirted with him given the opportunity, confidence, and correct situation, namely one in which she was not doing an underwear catalogue photoshoot and he was not the one photographing her. He’d been so warm and friendly towards her in the studio whilst they were working, but true enough, there had been nothing there that really indicated that he had any kind of interest in her beyond a professional one.

“We’ve got no proof,” Mary Margaret admitted. “But considering he’s been doing these photoshoots since the very beginning and no-one’s ever known him ever make a pass at any of the ladies or even show any kind of interest in them.”

“No-one’s ever known him do the elevator eyes thing,” Kathryn added. “Or address breasts instead of face. It’s like he just doesn’t see anything below the chin. Always the perfect gentleman. I mean, Ella would probably bury him alive if he tried anything on any of her models, but all the same, given my experience of heterosexual men, I’m not sure that I’d put him into that category.”

“And there’s his assistant,” Mary Margaret said.

“What, the one who was working in his boxers?” Belle asked.

“Yes. I mean, it’s obvious that the two of them are very close, and Jefferson definitely gives off more of a gay vibe. Gold’s one of those people where you can never really tell what he’s thinking. He’s hard to read.”

“Which is what makes him so deliciously mysterious.” Ruby came over; she was enveloped in a robe like the rest of them but she was wearing patent leather high heels and long shiny gloves that disappeared into the sleeves, hinting that what was underneath the robe was a lot less innocent than the things that the other ladies were wearing.

“I thought you had a girlfriend, Ruby?” Kathryn said.

“I do. Doesn’t mean I can’t look.” She winked and turned to Belle. “How are you getting on? Enjoying yourself?”

Belle nodded. “Yes. It’s been a lot easier than I thought it would.”

“Well, it looks like you’ll be up again soon, so here’s hoping that it just gets easier. It does get easier, the more you do it the more you get used to it. You’ll be great. Gold wouldn’t get you in there twice if he didn’t think that you were any good.”

Sure enough, Belle was being waved back through to the area set up as the studio. Gold was already there; he still had half a sandwich in his mouth and seemed to be a lot more animated than he had been during the morning; there was a thrumming energy in his movements, unlike the quiet patience that he had shown earlier. Despite the more dynamic cant to him, though, Belle did not feel at all rushed or pressured as she came in and looked around for somewhere to sit or stand without looking awkward. He smiled when he saw her, and Belle took that to be a good sign.

“Hello again. Please don’t be put off by the increased pace; we have more than enough time to take your time.”

“Thanks.”

“If you’re ok with it, I’d like to get some full-length shots of you standing this time,” Gold said. “If you’d like to step over here into the light?”

Belle came over, unfastening her robe as she did so but not taking it off. This time she had chosen pink, a light satin teddy with delicate lace edgings, something soft and feminine and incredibly pretty, but still with enough coverage for her to feel comfortable in it.

“Does it look ok?” she asked. For some reason his approval was important to her; Ruby’s words earlier about him thinking that she was a good model had struck a chord somewhere in the back of her mind.

Gold nodded. “You look lovely. Let me just adjust the reflectors and we’ll be good to go. Could you pop the robe off please? I know how fabric reflects light and I don’t want it accidentally going see-through in the final picture.”

Belle felt the blush return to her face at the thought, and she crossed her arms over her chest a little protectively as she draped the robe over the back of the chair she’d been sitting in earlier, partly out of a fear of her underwear becoming see-through but mostly because her nipples had hardened and were incredibly visible. With any luck she would be able to put it down to the temperature in the room. She hadn’t had this problem in the morning; the bra she’d chosen was lightly moulded and had hidden such things.

She shook herself crossly. Gold was a professional and he’d been doing this for years, he must have seen more pebbled nipples than hers. In fact, given some of the things in the ‘naughty’ section of the catalogue, he must definitely have seen more nipples than hers, including ones that weren’t covered in pink silk. And if Mary Margaret and Kathryn were to be believed, then he wasn’t interested in her nipples anyway. All the same, she tried to rub her breasts surreptitiously to try and solve the problem.

“All right, I’m ready whenever you are,” Gold said, having moved the reflectors and picked up his camera again.

He let her set the pace, didn’t pressure her to move her hands away from her breasts, to pose in this way or that. He wanted her to be natural, just like in the morning, and Belle felt a fresh wave of admiration for this man and his artistic talents.

“All right,” she said, and she uncrossed her arms from over her chest. As she had expected, Gold didn’t react at all, and she felt an inordinate sense of relief from that fact. “I’m ready.”

X

“Good day?”

Gold looked up as Ella came across the office with a can of pre-mixed gin and tonic in each hand, and he smiled, reaching out for one. She pulled both out of his reach. “Oh no, these are both for me. You know that the cans never make it quite as strong as I like; I’ll need both in order to get the same effect.”

Gold just rolled his eyes and continued to flick through the pictures that he’d taken throughout the day. Ella eventually relented and passed him one of the cans, which he cracked open and chinked against hers. “Cheers. Here’s to a successful autumn catalogue.”

“Of course. I know that I can trust you to work your usual magic. Any good finds? How did you get on with the newbies?”

“Uff.” Gold grimaced and closed the laptop that he was viewing the pictures on. “If Zelena West asks to come back for a second catalogue, you’re going to have to find some way of politely declining. I’m beginning to worry that she might be stalking me. It’s a good job I don’t have a pet rabbit or I’d fear coming home tonight and finding it on the stove.”

“Ah yes, I thought she looked familiar. She was that rather voracious one who was at the studio a couple of months ago, wasn’t she? She looked like she was about to eat you alive then. But you survived this encounter at least.”

“Yes. At least this time she actually had a few clothes on, which is better than at the studio. I’ve been doing catalogue and boudoir shoots for longer than I care to remember but I’ve never felt quite as uncomfortable as I did with her. I swear that she was trying to get it to border on pornography.”

“Well, if she calls back wanting another catalogue opportunity then I’ll suggest that to her as a secondary career.”

Gold couldn’t help laughing; no matter what trials and tribulations he might have gone through during the day, Ella could always be counted upon to make him smile when it came down to it.

“What about the others?” she pressed. “We didn’t have all that many newcomers this season, I’m a bit disappointed. Not that our regular ladies aren’t lovely, but part of the appeal of Devilish is that anyone can model for us, so I’d hoped that we’d get a bit more turnaround.”

Gold opened the laptop and hastily closed down Zelena’s photos, instead bringing up the ones that he had taken of Belle.

“Belle’s good,” he said, gazing at that first snap that he had taken of her somewhat unawares, curled up in the armchair with her book. “She was nervous, obviously, but she had a nice natural quality to her. I enjoyed the time I spent with her.”

Ella peered over his shoulder at Belle’s photos. “Yes, she’s a natural,” Ella agreed. “With just a little more confidence she could definitely model for us again.” Her smile turned a little sly and Gold raised an eyebrow, a little worried by her intentions.

“I don’t like that expression on you, Ella. It makes me seriously considering running full tilt in the opposite direction from whatever it is that you have in mind.”

“I am a paragon of innocence!” Ella protested. “But what I will say is that she’s very beautiful, and I’ve known you long enough to know that you think she’s very beautiful too.”

Gold sighed. There was no use trying to deny it, not with Ella, who could see straight through any kind of mask he tried to put on.

“Yes,” he said. “She’s very beautiful.”

“So…” Ella’s grin was nearing Cheshire Cat proportions. “Remember that we’ve been talking about carpe diem for weeks and you’ve still not actually gone out and done anything about it?”

“Yes, there’s no need to remind me, but this is hardly the correct circumstance for such a thing.”

“Why not? You think she’s beautiful and you enjoyed the time you spent with her. Surely that’s a pre-curser to wanting to spend more time with her, possibly in a romantic way.”

“Ella, I can’t. It would be incredibly unethical. I’m a photographer and she’s a model. Not even a professional one. There’s a level of trust there that can’t be broken and I’m not going to go against that rule just because you think I need to get laid.”

“You do need to get laid, but that’s not what I was suggesting,” Ella said. She sighed and patted his hand, draining the rest of her gin and tonic. “I can totally understand where you’re coming from and please don’t think that I’m not worshipfully grateful for the highly professional relationship that you’ve maintained with all my models since we started doing the catalogue. You have been a pleasure to work with and I know that you’ll continue just to do more of the same. But I’m not encouraging you to take advantage of the photographer and model relationship. I’m encouraging you to see her as a person beyond the camera and maybe build up a person to person relationship with her.”

Gold sighed, scrolling through Belle’s photos again. He could see the gradual release of tension in her frame and as he looked through the progression of pictures, from the turquoise set to the pink, he could see her begin to enjoy herself, to let go of her inhibitions and celebrate being who she was. She had been a joy to work with, but that was no guarantee that she would want to spend any time with him outside of the studio. He knew nothing about her; she might already be in a relationship.

The optimistic part of his brain that so rarely saw the light of day reminded him that if he never tried, he would never get anywhere, and if he didn’t make a move and ask her out, then he would never know if she was available or interested. He wouldn’t lose anything if he asked, but he definitely wouldn’t gain anything if he didn’t.

“I don’t know anything about her,” he protested.

“Well, I didn’t know anything about you when we first met, but we made the effort to get to know each other and now look where we are.”

“Drinking canned gin and tonic in an empty office looking at pictures of women in their underwear,” Gold said dryly.

“Precisely. I’d call that a good place to be, personally. Of course you don’t know anything about her, you’ve spent all of an hour with her. Why don’t you take the chance to learn something about her?”

“I’ve got no way of getting in touch with her without getting her contact details from you, and that would be creepy,” Gold said.

“Ok, good point, well made. I’ll give you that one. But I can tell you that she’s local, so you never know. You might bump into her in the post office. And we can always hope that she’ll come back for the next catalogue. At which point you can ask her for her contact details yourself.”

“At which point we’re back to being model and photographer and such a thing is completely off the cards,” Gold snapped.

There was silence for a while as they both digested the other’s words.

“Ok,” Ella said, graciously conceding defeat. “I won’t say anything more about it. Just have faith that for all I say about going out and making your own happiness, fate does sometimes have odd ways of bringing people together, so don’t try to fight it. You did great work today, Aiden. Not that you don’t always. Thank you.”

Gold smiled.

“Any time, Ella.”

She said her goodnights and left him then; although it was her office that they were using, Gold had his own key to the place from many nights spent working late on catalogue and promotional material together, when he wanted to keep going for just that little bit longer and didn’t want to lose his concentration by packing up his things and moving them back to his house or his own office. More often than not, in those situations, Ella would come back in of a morning and find him still sitting there, having worked through the night and fallen asleep at the desk.

This time though, he did not return to his work as soon as Ella left. He was still thinking about Belle; he couldn’t get her out of his head. Would it really hurt to take the bull by the horns for once in his life?

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK] [EF LINK]

NOTE: More sensuality. Dry-humping.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Some time around five in the morning, Anna gave up on sleep completely. Sidling over to Elsa's desk, she 'borrowed' a piece of paper and a pencil. She wasn't going to get any more sleep, so she may as well use the time to plan.

Kristoff. Elsa had to fall for Kristoff, not her. They had to get married and have kids – and maybe when Anna was back in her own time she could try and help fix their relationship then, too. However, she had to figure out how to make all of this happen without screwing everything up as badly as she had been so far or she would never get the chance.

So by the time she made it to Kristoff's that morning, seeing that he was up early and doing the family laundry, she had something a little more concrete to work with. About the only plan she could see that would do the trick. The problem seemed to be that Anna was "cool" and appealing, and Kristoff was just boring in a relative sense. Maybe she couldn't exactly make herself less attractive to her young mother, nor could she make Elsa purebred-hetero, but she had a possible solution to put her dad back in the running.

"Alright, walk me through this again," he sighed as he tossed in the dryer sheet. "You're going to the dance with her, but she's going to end up with me? That's doesn't make sense."

"It's just a backup plan, Dad. Uh… I mean, rad. I mean, that doesn't make any sense, either." Shaking out her head, she tried to push through and cut to the chase. "You can still ask her during the party, but if it doesn't work, I think you sailing in like Batman will make her notice you."

Nodding, he slammed the door and it started tumbling their clothes. "Fine, fine," he sighed as he turned back to the basket, picking out a few clothes to toss in the washer. "And I do love Adam West. But the part I don't get is, how am I saving her from you? I mean, she's your friend."

'Oh, honey,' she thought. He was looking at her with an expression almost as naïve as his words. "Well…" Clearing her throat, she turned away. "Elsa's a sweet girl. Nervous and kinda delicate. So when I get a little rough with her… she'll want someone to save her from that."

"Rough how?"

"Handsy." When Kristoff was still just blinking at her, she went on, "Come on, not even you can be this dense! I'm gonna take advantage of her!"

"WHAT?! You mean you're gonna touch her on her, her…" As he gesticulated, Anna winced to see that her paternal grandmother's bra was in one of his hands. "But you're both girls! A-and- ohhh, what the hell?!"

"Kristoff, calm down!" Taking the bra from him, she tossed it into the washer and tried to ignore how red his face was getting. Probably a lot like her own. "It's just an act! Besides, if you stick to the schedule, I won't even get any further than pushing her down and looking at her funny, right? Just enough to make her worried, and for you to look like the hero."

He still looked incredibly unsure, but at least he wasn't arguing anymore. Still, she knew what he was thinking because she was thinking it, too.

"Look," she sighed, somewhat morosely. "I'm not going to hurt her for real. I promise. Like you said, she's my friend, and… and I care about her a lot. So chill."

Finally, he smiled. It was a little weak and lopsided, but hey, it was there. The moment was broken when the dryer gave a particularly loud thunk. Kristoff jumped; Anna shrieked. For a moment, the only noise was the sound of the machine, cheerfully chugging along.

Then Kristoff started laughing. Heart still thundering in her chest, Anna could only glare at him for a few moments. His face was redder than before, face screwed up in mirth. Were those tears in his eyes? But then he didn't stop. Every time his laughter slowed, all he had to do was look at Anna and it renewed. Soon she was giggling along with him. Slowly her irritation was replaced with something else: a feeling of camaraderie – foreign, much like most of the positive emotions she'd experienced in relation to her father thus far had been – overcame her.

"C'mon, dude," she said between hiccups of laughter. "It's not that funny!"

Kristoff disagreed. "You didn't- didn't see your face!" he chuckled.

It took more genuine effort than she expected, but eventually Anna did get her giggles under control. They parted company, confident of their two-fold plan. First, they would try to help Kristoff "schmooze" his way into Elsa's heart at the party itself. Then, if that earned them no progress, she would go through with Plan B. Given that they both seemed to loathe it, Anna could only hope that Kristoff would be successful.

                                          ~ o ~

The day of the party, Elsa started passing out her future address to all of her friends and close acquaintances. Not that she knew that's what it was; only that it was an empty space in which to arrange a bash. She was able to talk Al into helping to get together some of the essentials, and he promised he'd grab some of his teammates for the task. Everything was shaping up great.

Meanwhile, Anna had wheedled a little more cash out of Doc for two more outfits: a party outfit, and a prom dress. The fuchsia mini skirt and fishnet leggings made her feel stupid, almost as much as the denim vest over the black long-sleeve button-up, but she knew everybody else would be wearing similar fashion disasters. She just had to grin and bear it.

"You excited?" she hissed to Elsa as they were getting ready to leave the school. She was a little sad; this would be her last 'school day' with her. Weird as everything had been, she would definitely miss seeing this part of her mother's life.

"I wanna hurl, dude," Elsa confessed with a shaky sigh. "This is the first real party I've ever kinda-sorta thrown myself. It has to be bad, or I'll be a bogus bimbo from now until graduation."

"Those are a lot of B-words." Suppressing the worry that this would cause a resurgence of the urges from the night before, Anna linked her arm with Elsa's as they headed to Ariel's shiny Nova. It wasn't a great car overall, but at least it was fairly new, and she had the use of it most days.

"Oh… hey," Elsa breathed, glancing down at their arms and then back up at Anna's face.

"We got this."

"We got what?" she asked. Anna could kick herself for lapsing with the lingo so often. "O-oh, you mean the party? Yeah, I'm sure it'll be tubular. Or… reasonably sure."

"It's gonna be amazing," Anna insisted. "Everybody's gonna have fun tonight. The key is to let them have their own fun – no micromanaging!"

Elsa merely nodded her head. Honestly, it wasn't something Anna was overly concerned about. There was gonna be some food and soda and apparently Elsa had some 'really neat tunes, totally not square'. She had no idea why her mother was so stressed.

"You're coming, right?"

Oh. That may be why she was worried. Keeping her frown to herself, Anna nodded. "Yeah! Gotta make sure no one messes up your little shindig."

"Shindig?" she snorted, eyes alight. "What is this, the 50s? Who even says that anymore?"

"I do!" Anna defended. Elsa shook her head, a smile still playing at her lips, but she said nothing more.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, each seemingly having no idea how to continue the conversation. It was only when they neared Elsa's friends that she spoke.

"Thank you, Tori," she said honestly. Sincerely. "For all you've done."

"Ahhh, it was nothing." Anna tried to play it cool, but obviously wasn't doing too well. Not when Elsa paused in her steps to face Anna fully. "Hey," she said softly. "What brought this on?"

Elsa shrugged and didn't say anything for a moment. "I just…" she began. "I just get the feeling you're going to be leaving soon, so..."

"What? Oh… well, yeah, probably am." How did she know she was leaving? Still, she had to do better. "Definitely am. Gotta head home, y'know?"

"Right! So I wanted to tell you in case I don't get the chance or- or in case something changes." Change? What could change? Anna's mouth was already open and primed to ask when Elsa interrupted. "So thank you, Victoria."

"Well… I'm… okay." She decided not to fight Elsa on that, since she really wasn't exactly sure what she would be fighting against. In truth, if they hadn't already technically crossed lines, hadn't masturbated next to each other, she probably would have leaned up to kiss her on the cheek – to reassure her. Instead, she merely squeezed her bicep. "You're welcome. But you honestly don't have to thank me; I just think you're a… rad chick and want to help you out."

"After what happened, I'm not sure I deserve that," she sighed as they got closer to the car.

"What do you mean?" But Elsa didn't answer. They were too close to Ariel now, which Anna understood… but she still had to wonder what Elsa had been going to say. Did she completely blame herself for their straying over the line and into the Danger Zone? That wasn't fair.

"Ready to crank this party to eleven?!" Ariel was asking them, blotting out the rest of Anna's inner musings. Along with her, Elsa and Jasmine immediately cried out in unison "IT GOES TO ELEVEN?!" and Anna could only shake her head and laugh, wondering where this wonderfully ridiculous version of her mother had gone.

                                          ~ o ~

A few hours later, they had the model home as tricked out as it could possibly be. Somewhere, they had dug up an actual deejay, and he brought a crate full of the best early-80s new wave and rock hits. Even a little disco, despite how most of them rolled their eyes to see the 'Saturday Night Fever' soundtrack amongst his selection.

They also grabbed a few folding chairs and added them to the plain, boring couch and armchair that had been in the living room. There was no TV – or rather, the one in there was just a cardboard display to give the impression of an actual TV – but they didn't really need one. They quickly set up a drink and snack station in the dining room, and put out bowls of chips and some dip on the coffee table so there would be more than one place to grab food.

"Looks good so far," Jazz was saying as she looked around at their work. "Wish we had more Pepsi Free, and more Coke Classic than New Coke…"

"Well the New Coke was on sale," Ariel said. "We're not exactly millionaires."

"Well, Al is bringing some supplies, too," Elsa reasoned, "So we're probably gonna be set no matter what." She was currently rearranging the table, making sure they had enough coolers full of ice – and enough room in them – for the various drinks. She was nervous and scared of failing, that much was obvious.

"So, who's coming?" Anna asked. Ariel and Jazz were, bless their souls, entirely unhelpful. Jazz could only name one person – "Al!" – and Ariel gave a shrug.

"Word probably passed around the school," Elsa said. "Have you never thrown a party before?" They all turned to Anna.

"Oh, heh, well, not exactly. Where I'm from parties tend to be a little… different." She'd been invited to them, of course. After the first one she'd never gone again. Parties were loud and obnoxious things. When someone inevitably brought out the alcohol, she added 'scary' to that list. Drunk people were scary. And most seemed not to realise what it did to them, what it turned them into – both in the short term, and in the long term.

Realising that she'd been staring at Elsa as those thoughts swirled in her head, Anna shook her head. "I guess I'm just not a huge party girl," she said.

At first, Elsa and her friends laughed a little. Then when she realised Anna wasn't joking, the blonde leaned in a little closer. "Wait… are you serious? But you're the coolest girl I know!"

"Maybe… sobriety is cooler?" When they only stared, she wilted and mumbled, "Yeah okay, didn't expect that one to work. But for real, I'm just not much of a drinker, sorry."

Of course, that would be the exact moment Al and his posse showed up with the keg and a couple bottles of harder liquor. Anna swallowed her disappointment and helped them set up, getting everything ready and appointing one of the jocks – some giant beefcake who called himself "Herc" – as the one to watch the table and make sure nobody drank themselves stupid. Not that she really trusted him to do that.

Around the time the first few guests began to show up, Elsa took Anna aside and whispered, "Why are you doing all this?"

"Huh?"

"This party. If you're not a partier, then why would you go to all this trouble to help set one up?"

Her thoughts went to Kristoff, who was probably trying to parallel park outside as they spoke. "Oh… just trying to be a good friend, I guess."

"Ah. Well, I want you to know I appreciate-" But that was as far as she got before she was being dragged away by Ariel to help greet and mingle. That was just as well, since it gave Anna an excuse to head for the refreshments and grab herself some caffeine.

She was also hoping to run across Kristoff. She'd told him to be early – "but not too early!" – but so far she hadn't seen hide nor hair of him. Twenty minutes later, by the time the party was getting into full swing, he still hadn't arrived.

A little irritated at his lack of punctuality, she made her way out the front of the house. There were kids strewn everywhere. It wasn't too bad yet – no one was truly drunk, which was nice. And down the street a little, still close enough to be visible in the light, was a familiar face.

"Kristoff!" Anna called, jogging towards him. He gave a start, and lifted a hand in a wave, but he didn't move forward to meet her. So that was the first thing she asked him about. "What the hell? Why aren't you in there yet?"

Looking away, he mumbled some pathetic excuse. Something about not being wanted at the party, an "I'm sure Elsa doesn't want me here." But this was the same old self-esteem issue, so Anna punched him in the shoulder. Not enough to hurt, but enough to make him flinch and look up.

"Dude," she said. "This isn't an invite-only gig. And trust me, you're just as welcome as anyone else." Before long, everyone would be too drunk to care whether a 'nerd' was there or not. Plus… they did say Anna was cool. She could invite whoever she wanted! "And besides, you're already here. May as well make the most of it."

She practically had to drag Kristoff towards the house even when she received a reluctant agreement from him. Anna refused to allow him to back out now, not with all the effort she had put into this.

"Just try and strike up a conversation with her," she encouraged him once they were inside. "She won't bite, you know that."

"Fine, fine! Wow, you're pushy!" But he didn't fight her on it, either; seemed to be how he handled most situations.

Back inside, she left Kristoff to approach Elsa and focused exclusively on pigging out on snacks. The potato chips seemed especially bland to her for some reason, and she couldn't decide if New Coke was an acceptable alternative to the stuff she was used to. Stubbornly, she refused to have a single sip of anything alcoholic; she told herself it was only because she needed to remain focused on getting her parents together. Which was mostly true.

After a good fifteen minutes, she floated back out to the living room to find them. However, neither Kristoff nor Elsa was there. Poking her head around the other rooms, she finally had to drift down the hallway to locate one of them.

Elsa was lying on one of the beds, staring up at the ceiling. Ironically enough, it was in the room that would later become Anna's. Even the awful grey feature wall was the same. When she heard Anna come in, she sat up on her elbows, then sighed. "Oh, it's you."

That didn't sound good. Gently closing the door behind her, Anna took a few steps into the room. "What's going on? What are you doing in here?"

Elsa shrugged. Sitting up fully, she curled her legs up under her chin. Anna took it as an invitation to sit near Elsa's feet. She smiled to herself – the Elsa of her time would have had kittens to see shoes on the bed.

"Just wanted to get away," she finally admitted.

"Not having fun?"

Closing her eyes, Elsa sighed as she turned her head in the direction of the door – it made her sway a little bit. "No, no, it's not that. I just… Kristoff asked me to the dance tomorrow."

"OH?!" Anna perked up at that. Perhaps it was lucky that Elsa wasn't looking at her, though, because immediately after, she deflated. If Kristoff had asked her, why was she hiding out here? She was almost too afraid to ask. Fortunately – or perhaps unfortunately – Elsa wasn't finished.

"He's a great guy, but I…" she trailed off. Sucking in a breath, she turned her gaze to Anna. Her hold on her knees tightened, and Anna couldn't tear her eyes from Elsa's. "I realised that I… really want to go with someone… someone else."

Oh. Fuck.

"Y-yeah?" Anna managed to sputter. She wanted to run, but she managed to force herself to stay still.

"Yeah. And… I think I made a mistake." Her head nodded toward a cup on the previously-empty bedside table. "I thought maybe it would make me feel less upset about the whole situation, but instead now I just want to cry."

This was a tough situation. One of her hands drifted over and patted Elsa's forearm; it was about as neutral a location as she could manage. "Sorry. I really thought you two… w-well, it doesn't matter right now." It did, of course, but she couldn't explain without risking a time paradox.

"Oh, I like him more than I expected. I almost said yes, but then I thought- I… Tori, I just want to go with you. Can't I pick you up in my car, a-and we'll go to the dance together? No grody stuff, I p-promise!"

"Elsa…" Whatever she was going to say died on her lips at the look in Elsa's eyes. Vulnerable, weak. She couldn't do that to her, couldn't destroy what little hope and faith Elsa had. Not right now. And they still had Plan B. "Okay. As long as you swear to me-"

"Pinky swear." Elsa actually did hold up her pinky, and Anna snickered as she took it. But her mother remained serious all the while. "I know… know th-that you were pretty wigged about that. Because we're friends, and you already have a… w-well, anyway. Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about." Then she pushed Elsa a little more firmly against the bed. "Now, just relax here for a little while. I'm gonna get you some food to help soak up the drink."

"Will that work?" she asked, vaguely watching – barely helping – Anna take off her shoes and setting them on the floor.

"I've had practice," Anna muttered under her breath. Cleaning up after her again.

But the bitterness Anna had come to associate with cleaning up her mother's messes didn't come. Looking back at the bed, at the girl sitting forlorn atop the covers, she knew why; this Elsa wasn't her mother. Not yet. This Elsa was just a teenage girl who'd done the same thing countless girls before, and countless after, would do: drink at a party.

Leaving Elsa momentarily, she went out into the wild to forage for some food. Despite the lack of flavor, most of the crisps had vanished. There was some dip and crackers left, but Anna wasn't sure that she could trust it. Eventually she found another, unopened container in one of the coolers. It was a little damp from the ice, but the creamy goodness inside was untouched.

While scrounging around for another packet of crackers, she spied Kristoff standing off to one corner. Sighing, she knew she'd have to talk to him before the dance. But that could wait.

Upon returning to the room, the first thing Anna noticed was that Elsa hadn't moved at all. "I brought dip," she said. "There weren't many chips left but this'll soak it all up a little better."

Glumly, Elsa nodded. Her lips pursed into a point. She looked miserable – and Anna had a feeling that it wasn't the depressing effects of the alcohol. "Why do you hate drinking so much?" she asked, probably more as a distraction than anything else. "I never met anyone who hasn't tried it."

Anna lifted her shoulders, resuming her seat next to Elsa and opening the dip. "I have tried it," she admitted, passing her the container and moving on to the crackers. "And I don't hate it, exactly. More like I hate what it does to people. And I don't just mean like… getting wasted and then having a hangover the next day. I mean the… when you drink… or when someone you love drinks… and they don't ever seem to stop. And they just aren't the person you know because they're always the drunk version, and they can get mean sometimes."

Putting the dip on the bedside table, Elsa picked up a cracker and loaded it with a gratuitous amount of dip. "C'mon, I'd never be wack like that, though. It's just a drink here or there."

This time, Anna couldn't look at her, blinking rapidly. The words were out before she could stop them: "You can't promise that."

She was a little surprised to find a hand on her cheek, forcing her to look up. The cracker had been abandoned in the dip, and Elsa was looking at her with the fiercest eyes she'd ever seen.

"Then I pinky promise," she said. If Anna had been teary before, it was nothing compared to the effect that simple sentence had on her.

"Alright, alright. I believe you," she breathed, but more because she wasn't sure how else to handle this situation anymore. Elsa was looking at her with more love in her eyes than she ever remembered seeing from them in the future. Not that she never loved her; she knew her mother did, in ways that she could manage despite her depression and general dissatisfaction with her life.

But that future Elsa would never have leaned in to take her mouth gently the way this one was.

'Not again!' Anna thought furiously. But again, she had as much difficulty fighting off the advances of her amorous friend-who-would-eventually-birth-her as before. She did back up, but Elsa simply followed. Within moments, Anna found herself on her back, Elsa lying atop her.

She needed to stop, but the longer it went on, the more she found she didn't want to fight Elsa off. Some part of her understood that she needed to, that it was important, and that she knew nothing good could come of this if she let it continue. Furthermore, with or without their chromosomal connection, there was no way she could stay with Elsa knowing how she would turn out. That woman from the future was most definitely not her type.

But this one was. This Elsa was everything she went for in a woman; sensitive, thoughtful, sweet, and kind. Just impulsive enough to know how to have fun, but not some kind of reckless wild child who would hurt her, or get her hurt. And a knockout besides.

"I know," Elsa finally breathed when she broke the kiss, gazing down at Anna's stricken face. "I know what I said… a-and I won't. But… I can't lie to you, Tori. I can't lie to myself."

Anna wasn't thinking. Couldn't think, not when her mind was full of nothing but the kiss they had just shared. She knew her mistake when she leaned up, none-too-gently, to press their lips together again. Her hands came to wrap around Elsa's head, fisting in her hair and holding her close.

Okay, so perhaps this wasn't the sort of relationship she'd ever wanted with her mother, but… there was love. Real love. Anna didn't know how deep it ran through Elsa, but it was there for her. Elsa's lips were soft, and this time, she could appreciate how they felt, kneading into hers. The fact that her hands hadn't moved at all since the beginning, still resting on Anna's cheeks…

Punz wasn't nearly this tactile. Elsa made her feel so wanted. So needed.

But she didn't completely lose herself in the kiss, in the feeling of Elsa atop her, moving gently against her. There was a tiny voice at the back of her head that was asking one little question that she couldn't ignore much longer: What happens now?

"Tori," Elsa breathed briefly when their lips parted, before they moved to Anna's neck, nibbling gently at her skin. She was unpractised in many facets of relationships, but here she excelled. Anna had to close her eyes and suck in a breath, just to keep some of her wits about her.

"Elsa, I… I d-don't know…" What didn't she know? "I don't know if… if I can… do much more than… than this…" That was a much more moderate reaction compared to what she meant to say, but at least it was a toehold.

"We both feel it," she insisted, ghosting her lips over Anna's again. Her eyes were bright, and Anna couldn't maintain contact. "Don't we? And… I'm sorry about that girl, back in wherever, but… can you honestly tell me it's this good with her? This bodacious?"

"I haven't had the chance to f-find out," she replied with a shaky sigh. Maybe she could distract Elsa. "I, um… we were supposed to have our big night, but I ended up coming here instead. It… I was really looking forward to it, we've been kind of awkward potatoes until now."

"Potatoes?" she snickered, reaching up to brush Anna's hair from her forehead. It seemed she had backed off from kissing her again – for the time being, at least. "That way with words you have is pretty weird. But I dig it."

They just looked at each other for a moment. Both were trying to catch their breath; it wasn't the activities, nor any kind of exertion that caused it. When Anna could finally speak, it was to as a question. "Did you… mean it?" Her voice was soft. "What you said earlier?"

Elsa's head tilted, just a little. "What did I say earlier?"

"You-" Anna had to stop to swallow. This shouldn't have been this difficult! She'd already snogged her, and they had come pretty close to doing way more than that once before; asking a question, in comparison, should be a cakewalk! The problem was, she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer. Wasn't sure if she could handle such raw truths from Elsa.

No. She had to know.

"When you… you said you wanted to go w-with… me. To the dance," she added, unnecessarily. Elsa's head jerked back a little, eyes widening a fraction.

"Of course!" she cried out, obviously not having the same issues as Anna. "I mean, what kind of a skank do you think I am? I don't kiss random people for no good reason, Tori. I, um… I kinda have to like them first, and… you're the first person I've liked this much. Don't you see that?"

Then she did it again, almost as if to prove it to both of them. Anna tried to summon up some of the disgust she knew she should be feeling, but it didn't seem to be in proper working order at that moment. Even trying to think about having come out of Elsa's vagina, something she thought for sure would kill the mood for her, just seemed to make her think about that part of her future mother's body in general… which she decided was only making things worse, so she gave up.

At least, she tried to give up. Elsa wasn't making it easy, what with the kissing and moaning and- was she grinding? Anna's hands left Elsa's hair, sliding down her sides to rest at her hips. It only encouraged more movement. The fervour with which Elsa claimed her mouth only seemed to grow, and Anna could only partially blame the alcohol.

Only partially, because here she was responding to that advance without having touched a drop.

"Have I told you," Elsa panted, breaking away for a moment to look Anna in the eyes, "just how hot you look in fishnets?"

"Huh? Really?!" Her mind blanked. Elsa was still staring at her, hair framing her face as she panted. It was blatantly obvious that she was as affected by their actions as Anna felt. Fingertips slid through her bangs, combing them gently. "Wait, whoa, be careful… this is getting close to… to a repeat of…"

"I'm just being honest." Elsa shrugged, though there was a dangerous glint in her dark eyes. "I'm jealous; on me, I'd just look like a cheap hooker. But you pull it off. 'Red hot' instead of 'red light'."

Elsa was moving closer again. The temporary distraction had seemingly worn off, and now she was gunning for the girl she had no idea was related to her. "Red light?"

"You know… like in 'Roxanne'."

"Oh- yeah. Community. Alternate timelines and shit."

"Uhhh, sure, whatever that means." Once again Elsa pulled that odd little expression – the one of amused confusion. And then it had vanished because she leaned down once more to fuse their lips together. She broke away for a second to murmur, "Definitely red hot," before returning.

Anna didn't have the will to stop her. It was becoming all to easy to forget that this was her future mother, lying atop her – grinding into her. It was too easy to forget, to pretend that she was just another girl who was sweet and warm and wanted her.

It was an odd feeling, this one of desire and need, that Anna didn't know how to deal with. So she didn't; she just kissed Elsa back with equal passion, needy hips rolling against hers. Putting the worries out of her mind for a moment. She was grateful for her denim jacket and skirt, because they hid the worst of her arousal; protected her from it.

Elsa let out a moan, right into Anna's mouth that sent sparks shooting through her. She didn't know if she was happy or not when Elsa's mouth moved, sliding down her throat. Her hips never stopped moving; in fact, they seemed to speed up.

"Elsa…?"

"Nng… Tori…"

It was blatantly obvious what has happening. Anna had heard that same noise only the night prior, though then they'd had some distance to distract them. Some mild formality of teacher-and-student that didn't exist here. Some part of Anna wanted to draw it out, but it was quickly snuffed out by her more logical side. She shouldn't want to draw it out – she should be able to stop it completely! But it was becoming more and more difficult to remind herself of who this Elsa would become, and rather just think of who she still was.

And at the moment, that was a horny teenager riding her to oblivion in the spare room of a house party. She could sense when Elsa was getting close; it was in the way she panted against Anna's neck, hands scrambling for purchase before their lips realigned. Elsa moaned as their tongues slid together, hands gripping so tight she could almost make Anna bleed.

And then her mother came, tipping over the edge of rationality and into her mind-numbing finish.

Her body shuddered for a long while afterward as they lay there. It was Elsa who had broken the kiss moments afterward, pressing her head into Anna's shoulder for some kind of stability, some kind of support. Her breath was hot and damp in the small space, and Anna could feel her eyelids fluttering, gently scratching at her skin.

Poor Anna could only lie there beneath Elsa, staring up at the ceiling. There was only one thought going through her head: this should not have happened. But then, that same thought had been spiralling since the beginning of the week. Since she'd stupidly interfered with her parents' first meeting.

This really was some fucked up karma.

Elsa squirmed atop her, shifting her body so she was no longer lying completely over Anna; instead, she sat up. Anna could still do little but look at her, eyes wide. Elsa was so beautifully trashed, hair frazzled, complexion a dappled red. Now, her eyes weren't nearly so dark as they stared down at Anna.

Already, the guilt was setting in. Elsa looked like she wanted to run, but was too afraid to move. The space between them was a rubber band, stretched and ready to snap. There was no heat left; only blinding shame.

Space. She needed space, now.

Sitting up, she couldn't voice the gratefulness she felt when Elsa slid back, off her and onto the bed. Anna felt like she had to say something, but wasn't sure what she could say. She couldn't even determine what Elsa was thinking; there was nothing but stony silence and averted gazes. When they did speak, it was Elsa who gave the first choking cough..

"I'm… I'm s-sorry," she said, voice low. "Wasn't… wasn't thinking."

Anna doubted that. She most certainly was thinking – just not from her head. "It's okay," she said. It sounded hollow, even to her own ears. "You're pretty wasted. I know… look, I really don't hold it against you, I… I couldn't. It's okay. But maybe we should, um, should go and rejoin the party. Everyone's probably wondering where the host is."

Elsa seemed unsure, but she also seemed to realise that distance was something Anna needed. So, climbing from the bed, she nodded. "Yeah… probably."

Though Anna wanted to apologise, what could she say? She really didn't think this was a smart plan. And she wanted to kiss Elsa again just to show her that everything was fine, and that she didn't hate her, or think she was a bad person for being a little buzzed and letting her emotions run away with her. Maybe that was a bad idea, but she had to do something.

"I'm really looking forward to the dance, though," she wound up whispering as she stood next to her. They were about even in height now that Elsa was shoeless. "And… I won't pretend I could ever forget this moment. Just so you know."

Of course, she mostly meant it was traumatising and she'd spend years in therapy to figure out how she could ever have let this get so far. But luckily, Elsa took her words at face value. Her smile was soft, and she leaned forward to give Anna a little peck on her cheek.

"Me, too. It's gonna be rad to the max."

As they left, Anna added, "And you keep saying I look hot, but you look even better; that minidress is killer."

"Killer?" Elsa mused with a little chuckle, barely glancing down at her purple outfit. The one that showed evidence of arousal standing at firm attention on her breasts – though thank heavens, it showed nothing else. This time, Anna couldn't help staring for a half-second before she tore her eyes away. "Hmm… I like the sound of that. It's 'killer'." Then she reached down to take up Anna's hand. "Ready when you are."

Anna was more than ready. But as they exited the room and made the way down the hallway, she wondered whether Elsa really was prepared. The closer they got to the living areas, the more tense she seemed to be. She walked slower than usual, and her hand tightened around Anna's.

The moment they moved into the light, Elsa dropped it. She covered the movement quite well, heading towards where Ariel was standing. The redhead was watching Jazz and Al hit it off, and Elsa made a show of gushing about it as soon as she arrived. Anna had been expecting it, and while she knew it shouldn't, it still hurt a little; the fact that Elsa didn't feel comfortable enough to keep holding her hand. But that was how it had to be – for both their sakes.

Shaking away the lingering disappointment, she glanced around. Kristoff was standing where he had been the first time she had come out of the room. He looked like he was still holding the same cup, and if Anna had to guess, he probably had the same drink. She sighed to herself before making her way over to him.

"Hey, man," she said. "What's up?"

He didn't say anything for a moment. The first indication he gave that he was going to speak was simply a nod in Elsa's direction.

"So… I guess the rumours are true?"

Anna froze. Her heart stuttered along for a moment before it too seemed to still in her chest. "Wh-hah, what do you mean?"

He looked away, then pointed to the corner of his lip. A quick look at Elsa confirmed Anna's fear: she was wearing lipstick. A light red shade that was obvious even through the dimmed lights of the house.

A light red shade that was, obviously, evident on Anna's own face. And probably not just her lips, either…

She rubbed at her neck, and the spot Elsa had pressed her face into and kissed within an inch of its life. She had to be careful. The panic rising in her, threatening to send her running for the bathroom, would only get Kristoff to abandon all efforts to get Elsa to date him. There had to be something she could say that would undo the damage done by something as innocuous as beauty products.

"Y-yeah," she laughed. It sounded forced, but at least she got her throat to cooperate. "Apparently, she was a little tipsy, and VERY friendly. But um, I don't think the rumours are something you should worry about."

His nod didn't seem to convey that he agreed with her. "Mmm. I mean, maybe not, but she was definitely a lot closer to you than I've ever seen her with any of the guys at school. But I mean… I am a little surprised."

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, Anna." His cheeks pinkened a little. "If I wasn't so wrapped up with her, I'd think you had a crush on me."

"WHAT?!" That came out a lot harsher than she meant, so she cleared her throat. "I mean, um… how did you get there from… from anywhere?!"

"Spending all this time trying to help me? Cleaning up my act, trying to make me a winner instead of a wimp? It's like… you really care about me. I've never felt that from any girl before. Elsa, a little, but that's it."

This was too far. Anna needed a breather, and she needed it right away. "As a friend," she managed to tell him firmly as she backed away toward the kitchen, and the door that would lead to the garage. "Just a friend! Okay? But y-yeah, I'm in your corner, compadre."

Only once she was away from the party did she hear how stupid that sounded. Compadre? More like just 'padre'. Somehow, she had managed to walk into 1985 and charm not one, but both of her parents into thinking she was their ideal mate. At least with Kristoff it seemed to be purely because Elsa was unavailable and no other woman caught his eye; at least his future wife remained his first choice…

But what about Elsa? Her needs were much stronger, focused on her future daughter and no one else. Flattered and strangely intrigued as Anna was by the prospect, she had to refocus on the task at hand: getting them to hook up so she could safely return to her own time period and take twelve showers.

                                           To Be Continued…

[ifnotlovethenwhatff-blog]

Chapter 15

On this light rainy Thursday, everyone in Arielle’s circle has something going on today. Vera has been busy planning a meet up with both Deshaun and Canaan in the weeks to come. Sotira and Salice are working on a surprise baby shower for their closest and dearest friend. Arielle and Kamil both being left out of the loop purposely is exactly what the girls wanted. With very few people knowing about the surprise shower will make this event so much more special when that time comes. Khayman, Kamil and a few of his coworkers are loading up the moving trucks finalizing today as their last day in Kamil’s apartment. 

Today a new journey begins for Elle and Kam as a couple and soon to be famil in their new place to call home. Arielle stayed inside to finished packing and taping boxes shut and cleaning up the apartment altogether. The men were going back and forth from the apartment and the truck, getting their hands dirty. 

Arielle’s mixed feelings on the big move sparked some major concern in Kam, just as she expected. Moving for anyone is a big step and a big change that can take some time getting used to. However the day has come for change, leaving little room for second thoughts and twenty questions of what/when/how/why. 

“How much more y’all got Kam?” Terrence spoke, handing off the mattress to two other guys standing in the back of the truck. 

Looking around the truck and counting to himself, Kam wiped items off of his mental checklist. Just to be on the safe side, Kam headed back to the apartment to see how much more is left. Walking through the front door Kam was stunned to see not a box or container in sight. The living room, patio, and kitchen have all been cleared out showcasing just how much has been done. 

“Baby!?” He called out, heading down the hall towards the bedroom. Kam found Arielle standing beside the window with a picture frame in her hand surrounded by an empty room. 

“What’s wrong now?” He asked gently.

Sighing deeply, Ari turned around and shrugged her shoulders. Deep down inside she knows that she’s not ready to leave and Kam knows that too. He took large steps over to the window and engulfed her in a warm hug. Arielle shed some tears she’s been holding back since the packing began.

“It’ll be okay. We got the new place waiting for us to make new memories in. You’re almost done with school, the baby will be here in a few short months, and we’re in this together.” Kam preached softly, feeling his own emotions flip flop in this very moment.

“I’m just scared. There’s so much going on and I don’t know how to manage everything without feeling overwhelmed. I’m happy about our new home I promise you I am, I’m just scared.” Arielle’s confession opens up a whole new can of worms on top what’s already going on. Without a doubt Kam will do whatever he can to keep her calm but there’s only so much he can control. The rest is up to Arielle and whether she wants to put herself through unnecessary stress. 

Without another word, Kam prolonged their intimate moment before getting a move on it. Now that everything is packed and the apartment is cleaned, it’s time to say goodbye. Grabbing the cleaning supplies, the keys, and some  leftover unopened mail, Kamil followed Arielle outside into the hallway.

“You want to do the honors?” He questioned giving his girl a toothy smile that made her knees weak. 

Arielle took one of the keys to lock the door, descending the steps right after. While Arielle got situated in the car, Kamil rounded up the boys for a quick talk. 

“Khayman you drive my car behind these guys who are driving the truck. I’ll drive Arielle’s car in the front so y’all don’t get lost. Cool?” 

With each man in agreement, Kam set the bucket of cleaning supplies in the truck and brought the doors down. While the guys locked up the truck, Khayman went over to Kam’s car to start up the engine. Heading over to Arielle’s car, Kam climbed in the front seat and got the car running. 

“You have to drop the keys off right?” Elle quizzed, texting her dad and the girls.

“Yeah that’s where I’m headed right now. Put that seat belt on.” He sternly advised, now driving over to the rental office for one last visit.

Ari vowed to herself to remain silent on this trip over to the new apartment. The drive takes about 35 minutes from their current location allowing her more time to think. Ari’s not big on explanations especially when her emotions are the topic of discussion. Because she is so emotional and doesn't know just yet how to channel her feelings into words, conversation can be brutal. There tends to be a lot of silence on her end and boy oh boy does that piss off Kamil. And it's not to say that Arielle doesn't care, because she does, it's just that she has some improvements to make.

“Why has that girl been calling you so much?” The attitude and the level of aggression in her tone was enough to peak Kam’s interest.

Kam got caught at a light giving him time to turn to his right and deliver his signature look.

“Don't start girl. This is not the time to have this conversation.”

“Excuse me for asking a simple question. What have you got to hide? I didn't ask for her social security number. What I want to know is why does she keep calling you..repeatedly and at all times of the day?” 

Arielle was quick with a snappy comeback, no surprise there.

Breathing deeply through his nostrils, Kam tapped on the gas pedal until the green light shined in his face. The energy is off and so is their desire to be in each other's presence but today is a big day. Arielle knows this conversation can wait for a less stressful time. And Kamil knows he should be truthful to prevent any further damage to this day.

Neither party spoke for the remaining duration of this short road trip. Just silence and the engine blending together to create noise.

“How did you find out before I did?!” Vera shouted with a passion. Everyone down the hall from her office could hear just about the entire conversation she was having with Deshaun.

Getting up from her chair Vera skedaddled over to her door to put a wall between her office and the rest of the floor. Running back to her seat, Vera picked up the phone to carry on with her call.

“She confided in me V. She's my daughter just as much as she is yours. Are you jealous or something?” Deshaun proposed, not knowing he just started a fight he might not win.

“Jealous? Of what? We are both of Arielle's parents Deshaun. There is no competition but no I'm not jealous that she disclosed to you first that she was pregnant. I'm just confused but that's besides the point! Don't you ever question me like that again. That right there..those smart ass remarks are part of the reason we never worked out. You can't ever put your childish ways aside and be an adult.”

Deshaun was a little taken back by Vera’s forthcoming information but not too much. He always knew that deep down he and his ex-wife would exchange some hurtful words but he didn't think today would be that day.

“Look I didn't answer your call to discuss the past. I'm only talking to you to find out what we can do to help our daughter get through the remainder of her pregnancy happy and healthy. Nothing more, nothing less.” He finished his short speech with a signature line Vera hated to hear.

Deshaun’s smart mouth used to get him in some deep waters back in the day. Now that he's older and has more wisdom and life experience, he's settled down tremendously. If there's any one person that can attest to the change Deshaun has made it's Vera. Even though she feels a little anger towards her ex-husband she can't deny that he is a different man. This conversation is strictly Arielle related, sadly the topic was swayed.

“I got to go back to work but let me know if you find out anything. If something goes wrong I need to be there for her. She will always come first V. Before our past, present and future relationship, Arielle is our number one priority. And soon her baby will be hers. We can fight and argue all we want but when it comes to Arielle's well-being, she's first. We’ll talk soon.”

Vera said her farewell and set the phone on her desk. Yet again, Vera has something to make up for with another beloved man in her daughter's life.

SOTIRA

“Yo Lisa! I need that box of fabric in here to finish this blanket!” I yelled over my shoulder quite loudly. The approaching footsteps spooked me but I'm too focused on knitting this blanket for my god baby. At first I thought about ordering this sage green baby quilt I saw online. Although, Lisa brought it to my attention that Arielle would appreciate a much more sentimental gift. And that is what lead me to what I'm currently working on. 

“Here T. Shit..I didn't realize how far you'd gotten since two days ago. You think she’ll like the color? You know she's having a boy right?” Lisa griped, setting the box of extra fabric at my feet.

Giving her a nasty look to her back I tossed my project on the ottoman to rethink this gift. I knew my god baby had been identified as a boy but the fact went over my head the deeper I got into knitting.

“What the fuck am I to do with this now? I can’t give Elle this blanket. This looks likes it should be for a little girl. Lisa, don’t leave me hanging like this.” My complaint didn’t seem to move Salice and her will to help me out in my time of need.

With a flip of her hair Lisa sunk deeper into the love seat just giving the quilt some eye attention. I couldn’t tell whether she was into my work or deep in thought but I need some kind of advice from her high yellow ass.

“T..just make a new one. You still have plenty of time to restart and finish a new blanket. No one but me knows about this, stop stressing. You’re gonna have grey hairs if you keep frowning like that.” Salice proposed, cracking a joke to lighten the mood.

Rolling my eyes so heavily I thought they’d get stuck, I jogged down the hall to the back room. I snatched up my car keys, slid my feet into the nearest pair of shoes and snatched up my phone.

“Let’s go!” I yelled walking back into the room to lock eyes with Lisa. 

She was giving me this stupid look and the longer I gave her my attention, the annoyed I became.

“That means now and we gotta go meet the lovebirds at their new spot. Arielle said she wanted an extra set of hands so get up!” 

Lisa got up off her ass and scrambled around my apartment to get her things so we could be on our way to see Arielle. By the time we get one leg in the car, Elle will be calling to ask where we are. Bet.

“Come on..why are y’all so rough with everything? We ain't rich. Meaning this furniture and the rest of our belongings can't be replaced so easily. Be careful.” Arielle griped with heavy attitude.

So much time and energy has been put into unpacking the boxes and settling into the new apartment. Sweat, tears, anger, and laughter. That's everything poured into the last four hours of today. The guys have been moving and removing furniture because Arielle keeps changing her mind about the layout. One minute she liked the setup and the next she had a new vision in mind.

Kam understood the constant change and Khayman did too but as for the others they don't have a clue as to what's going on. This poor girl is beyond tired but work has to be done and Elle doesn't quit. No she's a bull and she will get shit done even at six months pregnant.

“Chill mama I got this. Chill!” Kamil stressed, backing away down the hall to the bedroom with one of his buddies helping push the mattress.

Smacking her teeth out of instinct Arielle stepped out onto the balcony to breathe the fresh air brought in by the rain. As the minutes passed the rain seemed to pour down harder producing a full on storm. The sky is covered in dark clouds with flashes of lightning popping up every now and then.

“Forfeit this cold war..It's not yours anymore..I'm done, I'm done...How rightly you were loved...Tell me how to breathe without your touch..I'm done, I'm done, I'm done.”

The depressing weather put Arielle in a mood and music is the only escape she has at the moment. The men are handling the heavy lifting which is working in Ari’s favor anyhow. While they're busting their asses, Arielle has a chance to relax and wind down as if she hasn’t been doing that most of the day.

“Don't go chasing waterfalls...Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to..”

Sotira and Salice entered the apartment witnessing a slight tornado of chaos going about. They noticed the men slaving, breaking their backs to move furniture and box after box. Afterward the girls spotted their friend standing on the terrace in the rain with not a care in the world for her surroundings. T shot Lisa a glance before sauntering over to Arielle's location.

“I know you aren't hoping to catch something with my god baby trying to grow in that tummy of yours.” T snapped with attitude.

Arielle turned her head with a wide grin spreading across her face. “Of course not. What kind of person you think I am?” She retorted sassily.  

Lisa walked past Sotira and engulfed her friend in a tight hug in a way that wouldn't hurt the baby.

“Your weird ass would be out in the rain while those men are doing all the work! What's going on?” Salice asked skeptically. 

The girls took a seat to sit back and take in the weather and view.

“I'm happy about the change but I'm scared as hell. This is the biggest step Kam and I have ever made as a couple and as individuals. This baby is growing inside of me every day, changes are being made left and right, my relationship is taking on new heights, I got school and work, and I have family drama. I'm stressed but Kam’s been helping me keep my shit together. I don't know how much more I can take though.” Elle explained.

Taking a quick breath Arielle buttoned up her cardigan due to a draft coming in. Neither girl found a mind settling, quick response that Arielle hoped for so the vibe is awkward in a sense.

“You always told me that change is good and it's gonna happen no matter who likes it. And that's what you're forgetting. Sweetie, this change in your life is a blessing but you don't see it yet. Being a mom at this age or older will never be easy. But because you are young and you're still trying to figure life out the odds will be more likely to be against you. But baby girl you got this in the bag. You have a ton of support behind you Elle just open your eyes.” Sotira revealed truthfully.

“She's right Elle. You have us, Kamil, your sister, my mom, your dad and your abuelita. We won't let you fail or kill yourself because of stress. We’re your family and we love you no matter what. Just breathe and enjoy everyday for what it brings.”

All it takes to bring tears out of Arielle is words of truth and she's crying a river right now.

“We done made the young mommy cry. Look what you did T.” Lisa stuck her tongue out at Sotira and comforted a sad Arielle with a side hug.

“Shut up Lisa. I'm just emotional and I know you're both very much right. I love you guys so much and I thank you for everything. Let's go help these fools.” Arielle’s sniffles flared up for no apparent reason but the minute Kamil was in sight, her tears settled.

Kam was standing with his hand out and a gentle smile tugging at his lips. “Come tell me what you think.”

“I'm scared to see what you've turned our new home into.” Elle showcased a slight smirk and followed behind Kamil inside with the girls in tow. The four friends were lined up one behind the other drinking in the view.

Kamil has placed every piece of furniture and decor in the right spot knowing he'd win more than brownie points with Arielle. Their living room was a perfect blend of grey and cream with small accents of purple of black. Kam even swapped his old couch for the new massive lounge that Arielle has been asking for. At least ten to twelve people can fit on the couch at one time.

“Kam..you got the couch..how the fuck..” Elle chuckled airily while walking into the kitchen and throughout the remainder of the apartment.

“Yo, you think she likes it?” One of Kam’s boys whispered, leaning on the countertop.

“Man..I don't know. We’ll find out soon. What y’all think?”

The gang erupted in soft chatter discussing the details of the new apartment and how everything is set up. The girls were fawning over the kitchen while the boys were too busy drooling over the entertainment center. Kam splurged and bought a massive 65” tv. Kamil and Arielle both agreed on a tight budget for new furniture and decor being that the baby is on the way.

“My nigga how big is this tv?!” Khayman’s outburst earned him a kick in the leg and Arielle's re-entry into the room.

Playful argument broke out and filled the room with laughter and all kinds of energy. This gloomy day is turning into something quite wonderful for everyone.

“We still have one key ingredient missing and we can't buy this one. I love the place but it's not complete yet and I-”

“He’ll be here after the semester is done. We've gone this long already so I know we can wait a little while longer. Don't rush now that the finish line is near. Calm that ass down.” Kam encouraged. Throwing his weight down on the bed he turned the projector on via remote.

“Let me guess..you want to test out how the movies look?” Ari questioned with sass.

“Damn right. You know how much this shit cost? Best believe if it doesn't work the way it should I'll take it back tomorrow and get a new one.”

The best way to end this long, rainy day is with a good movie playing loudly for the neighbors to here. Their first night in a new home with many other nights to come. Let's hope they don't tear each other's heads off.

[keenperfectiondaze-blog]

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Name: Maria Age: 20 Country: Ukraine City: Zaporozhye Marital status: single Children: none Height: 5'3" - 160 cm Weight: 97 lb - 44 kg Eye color: brown Hair color: dark brown Religion: Christian Smoke: no Drink: no English level: basic

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