#arena is excluded because it's too perfect

[flecks-of-stardust]

okay, follow up poll i guess:

Don't Include Spore Puff Kills. This is for spear combat.

also include how often you engage with them and whether you deliberately hunt them. this is also about story mode, so either in a particular slugcat's campaign or in expedition mode. arena kills don't count.

also don't include singularity bomb kills. please.

[toreii]

Tamashina Mina spoilers part 10

Sunset Savanna - Elephant Legacy

Kalim notices that beadwork is sold all over Elephant Legacy. He says accessories like bracelets, necklaces, keychains, and coasters being sold. Kalim mentions that he saw a lot at the souvenir shops in Sunrise City. Leona says beads are familiar in the area since they’ve been used as ornaments since ancient times. There are still many bead artisans. Everything is handcrafted from natural materials making it one-of-a-kind. Vil comments that they are all beautiful.

Lilia wonders if he should buy beaded coasters instead of a pennant as a souvenir. They often enjoy their coffee in the dorm despite Sebek being unable to drink coffee, so he just pretends to drink it. Kalim says it’s fine. Silver will be happy to receive such beautiful coasters. Lilia asks which pattern should he get. Silver is like a bird, and they are often together at school. Sebek likes crocodiles, so he will pick those. As for Malleus… Lilia says he has no likes or dislikes for animals. It’s troublesome. Kalim picks one up, and asks Lilia what he thinks. Lilia replies it’s not good enough. Rather, it should be… Kalim tells Lilia that is also good. However…

Leona has had enough. He says they’re being annoying, and picks a coaster himself. He tells Lilia a lizard is fine. It suits Malleus. Lilia ponders if that’s so. Since it is a recommendation of the locals, he decides to go with Leona’s choice. Lilia thanks him, and says Malleus will be pleased. Leona says it’s not for him. He just doesn’t want to spend time picking out a souvenir for that horned bastard. Vil snickers saying that he never imagined Malleus would receive a souvenir picked by Leona. The shop owner thanks Lilia for his purchase. He’s thrilled having bought his coasters. Lilia says he can’t wait to gift it to Malleus.♪ With that settled, Leona informs the group it is time for their special training. They’re going to the arena. He instructs everyone to get in the car.

Sunset Savanna - Arena

Vil asks if this place will be where Catch The Tail will be held. Leona says yes. Their practice time is limited, so they should get started. Lilia states that they don’t know a thing about Catch The Tail. Leona tells him he made time to teach them. First, he tells them to take off their cloak. It will get in the way of the Catch The Tail match. Our lovely NRC trio strips, and Kalim exclaims that it will be easier to move. Lilia says his body has become lighter. Vil says it gives a cool impression. He assesses that the cloak is a subdued color, but the sleeveless crop inner is colorful. It’s a color scheme that’s perfect for a special day like a festival. The armlet isn’t just for fashion, it also supports.

Leona concurs because bodies will be colliding with each other. It’ll be troublesome to end up like Jack, and asks if everyone is taking measures against the heat. Lilia replies that he is wearing special sunscreen he brought with him. Kalim added long beads to his mask just as Leona told him to do. Leona says it’s the rules to wear them.

Vil inquires about Catch The Tail. Are they imagining an animal’s tail? Grim interjects saying if it’s about tails, he has one too! Leona corrects them. While the origin of the name originated from the beads, it actually represents a mane. Since ancient times, the lion beastmen have always sported braids in their hair in the image of a mane. (So, that’s why Leona has braids in his hair.) Grim mutters that he does not have a mane.

Vil understands. The beads are braided pigtails. To be used by lion beastmen excluding other people. Kalim says it’s cool when the beads shake every time he moves. Leona says he doesn’t care about appearance or tradition, but it’ll be easier than other hairstyles once they get used to it.

Moving on, Leona says that the match will take place on the arena, one-on-one. The first one to get the bead attached by the opponent wins. Easy, right? Lilia concludes that the one who steals the mane wins. It’s a simple and clear rule. He does not hate it. Vil recalls that magic can’t be used. Leona confirms it. No weapons, either. They will be fighting with their bodies only. It’s a show of respect to the kings of the country who only fought with their fangs, claws, and wisdom. The tournament will be in a bracket format with sixteen teams. The team that wins two games first advances to the next round. Vil adds that if the win three games, they will win. Leona says they will fight with each other first. He’ll show them their strengths and weaknesses. Vil understands. He’s ready to get started. Kalim agrees.

—After the practice match

Leona concludes their practice session. He tells everyone gather around. Kalim asks Leona what he thinks. Leona replies that Lilia is the best one. His attack and defense are not amateur moves. He is a perfect major piece. Kalim inquires what he means by major piece. Lilia explains that it is a word that refers to a high-value piece in chess. Leona says it’s the queen and rook to be exact. Kalim says that in other words, Lilia is amazing! Lilia giggles. To be praised so much is embarrassing.

Leona says there are also minor pieces. The knight and bishop are said to be less valuable than a major piece. In their team, that would be Vil. His strength is second to Lilia. Against most opponents, they can be counted for two wins. Just as planned. Vil is happy, regardless. He does not mind the word, minor.

Leona states the problem is Kalim. He already knew, but there’s no strength in his movement. Even without power, there are ways to strike, such as hitting the opponent’s blind spot, or suddenly ramming them. Kalim says he can’t be that cruel. Vil says it’s hard to imagine Kalim being caught in the opponent’s blindness, or by surprise. Lilia mentions that Kalim is a gentleman. He is not suitable for competitions like this. Leona tells Kalim if he struggles to fight, they won’t win one match. Kalim apologizes. Leona continues to say that in terms of chess pieces, Kalim is a pawn. Vil states that a pawn is a piece that can only advance one square. Lilia surmises that the expectation is low. He tells Kalim he will give him some tips. All he has to do is take the other party’s beads like swoosh! Pow! Bang!♪ Kalim exclaims that he will try. Vil is surprised Kalim understood those instructions. Kalim replies it’s how he learned playing the drums.

Leona says that now that he knows what they are capable of, he will guide them from here on out. Just like the trio, Leona takes off his cloak. Vil comments that Leona looks good, as always. If he were to appear in the game, the audience would be excited, won’t they?(I think we all are, Vil😂) Leona reminds him that he can’t compete. His position is to lead the Sunset Warriors. If he were to join a team, they’d be accused of being unfair. The moment he goes up into the arena, Kifaji will jump up, and be seriously pissed. Their team will be disqualified on the spot, and all their practice will be in vain.

Vil takes back what he said, and reminds Leona to behave himself. Grim remarks that Leona is the most useless, after all. Leona is like “What did you just say? This hairball…” Lilia says that since they can’t join them in the games, they’ll have to cheer them on from the stands. He gives an example, “Lilia! Do your best!” He encourages Leona to say it. Leona is like “Says who?” Lilia calls him boring.😆 Leona says it’s time for a fun, fun lesson. They’re going to practice for hours. Anyone can do it, so they should join.

Choice A: “I’ll cheer for you!”

Kalim wants Yuu to look at him. Lilia tells them to be amazed by his brilliant technique. Vil tells Yuu to let him know if they notice anything.

Choice B: “Can I help you with something?”

Leona tells Yuu to prepare the drinks. They’re going to do some intense exercises under the sun. It will consume a considerable amount of strength. If Yuu doesn’t want to miss their exhausted faces, Leona tells them to come back early.

—A few hours later

The sun is setting. The boys are out of breath. Kalim says he is tired. Leona asks if they’re exhausted yet. Vil notices that Leona is not out of breath. Leona says that dealing with guys who did Catch The Tail for the first time today will leave them breathless. Kalim is impressed with Leona. He heard from Kifaji. It’s more than he imagined. Lilia says he can’t stand his age.(This line sounds weird, but I don’t think Lilia means teeth like the kanji first suggests.) Lilia further says that even though they were moving under the sun, he didn’t expect there would be such a difference in ability. The age difference, or so he guesses. (I was right!)

Leona says that’s how it is. But, they’ve gotten a lot better. Vil agrees. It was helpful to hear specific advice. Lilia says they will fight according to the strategy given by Leona in the match. Kalim is looking forward to tomorrow. Leona informs that their practice is over. They’re going back to the hotel.

To be continued

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon, sorry its been like 2 days since I last submitted something! I've been busy and whenever I finally had time to sit down and write this all its like 1 in the morning. I hope its still ok for me to send these.

🌹 anon ima respond to you first, your The Deal au could be the reason why and how Ranboos and Dreams soul got mixed and linked together. But then a problem is how did it pass to Ranbob? In my au, each person has their own soul basically. And while certain attributes like DNA can be passed through bloodlines, souls can't, as their unique to their person. 

What left Ranbob vulnerable to Dream is that he was seen as the star student. The apprentice everyone wanted. He always got perfect grades and was seen as the smartest in the City. This did not go well. As Ranbob was put under a ton of pressure to always stay perfect and get everything right. When his grades started to slip and his chosen mentor started to put even more work on him, his mentality started to suffer. With him losing sleep and starting to not care for himself or do the basic necessities like eating or drinking, all in an effort to be "perfect". Its through this need, and weakened state over all, Dream's presence was able to slip in and convince him to let him help.

Benjamin is 30, Isaac 29, Cletus is 24, and Charles is 27. 

When Ranbob first told Ran about the Dream mask and how he wasnt himself, Ran did not believe him at all. And kept saying that he needs to stop lying and fess up to what he did and pay for it. Others tried to convince him that his brother really wasn't in control of himself, but was met with strong skepticism, scoffs, and disbelief. With Ran not beliving that was the truth at all.

Watson was very shocked but quickly reorganized himself cause he had to calm Jackie, and its only after Jackie fell asleep he was like "Oh fuck. I really am the dad huh?" Jackie was embarrassed at first but after some prodding did say how he truly saw Watson as a dad figure in his life. And everyone had different reactions to Watson suddenly accepting and fitting into the dad role. Jackie was excited and immediately started calling him dad and asking him awkward dad questions "Dad whats puberty?" "Uhhh-" "Dad where do babies come from?" "Ask your dad about that!" "But you are my dad!" Ran seemed indifferent about it but Watson can tell he's revealed to have someone to talk too, and someone to go to if things get to much. Grievous keeps sating he doesn't need a dad but he's the one that goes to Watson the most for things like hugs, comfort, and advice. 

Jackie and Grievous do everything. They rig the battle field so if someone steps in a certain area water will shoot up into their face, Grievous usually taunts and distracts opponents so Jackie can sneak up behind them and just latch onto them and cover their eyes while giggling like a madman as the opponent screams and runs around trying to get him off. Jackie regularly pulls peoples seat out from under them, while Grievous scares them and makes them choke or drop something. But they do know peoples limits. Like for Ran, no water related pranks (there was an incident where Grievous spilled a whole bucket of water on him and Ran got severe burns and had to stay in the hospital ward for a few days), for Watson don't mess with his bow or arrows, he will stab you. And for eachother, Jackie, no pranks that leave him alone for extended periods of time or makes it seems like everyone is gone/left. For Grievous no pranks centered around food or drinks (like putting toothpaste in his sandwich or putting pepper in his beer). 

Ran and Jackie have a 50/50 win if that makes sense. They both win and lose pretty often. They play games like Spoons, Go Fish, Dart Throwing (Watson needs to be present for this one), something similar to Cards Against Humanity, Poker (everyone plays during this one), and Tic Tac Toe. 

Sometimes Jackie loves being the smallest and other times hates it. He hates it when Ran steals something of his and holds it above his head, he sometimes resorts to aggressively climbing Ran to get it but Ran tends to just pluck him off, and people make fun of him in a mean natured way (he's fine with light teasing). But he loves it when he rides Ran's shoulders or can duck under peoples legs and trip em. Because he's also small and fast he's hard to catch and that definitely comes in handy during fights. No ones particularly protective of eachother (excluding Ran who's protective of everyone), because they know none of them like being babied and they can all hold their own, though they will quickly flock to help eachother if they need it. Ran definitely flaunts it whenever their in a agurement. 

There is a area under the fighting arena of the pit where they stay. Theres separate rooms for everyone, training areas, dinning areas, and just chilling areas. Theres even extra rooms meant for often visiting friends (Like Genevieve) and some for storage of weapons which also holds things to sharpen them or get new ones. The Pit itself is in the middle of a gaint city, so there are tons of stores and food areas around. And because of a high salary the King gives them they go out quite often, often eating out and browsing stores when their not training or sleeping. 

If by other combinations you mean like Ran-Jackie, Ran-Grievous, Watson-Jackie, and Watson-Grievous then it highly varies. Watson and Jackie are by far the worst team, their styles just don't match and constantly but heads during battles. Watson and Grievous are probably the best out of the 4 teams because Grievous can be serious and works well with Watson as he's much more willing to change his fighting style to accommodate whats needed. Ran and Jackie are like Jackie and Grievous, but they aren't nearly as insane. Rather Ran provides distractions while fighting to give Jackie time to sneak up behind them. Ran also is the only one able to actually throw Jackie, which they sometimes do during battles. And Ran and Grievous work well together, but not as much as Watson and Grievous, its just a few things of both their styles don't match or could potentially cause problems.

He's clumsy flat out, he isn't used to having full control and needs to get used to certain things like walking or talking again. He is also severely dehydrated and malnutritished because Dream didn't care enough to drink or eat. He's also incredibly skittish and scared easily. He and Cletus's relationship isn't solved fast at all, it takes months and the work of everyone to get the two comfortable around eachother. They start by putting Cletus on watching duty, where he watches over Ranbob to make sure he's eating and drinking and resting while not tiring himself out. Then after a month or 2 Isaac, Benjamin, and Charles start purposely leaving the two in a room alone toghere to get them to talk stuff out. It takes 3 months until their comfortable enough with eachother to willingly talk and hang out. Oh the house building attempts went aboustely awful. They sometimes fell on Ranbob! And when they didn't they just collapsed or got blown away by the wind, but Isaac did ofter help a few times and showed him multiple different ways to make sure the walls stay up and keep the cold out. 

Ran is very unhappy with Ranbobs haunting, he thinks their kind of like Ranbob in which they've all killed people and considers them a threat at first, but when he sees how his haunting likes and interacts with Ranbob's, he losens up a bit, his group trusts them, so he has to trust them a little bit. But he doesn't trust them or like them nearly as much as he trusts and likes his haunting. 

Im guessing you mean who from the two groups get along the easiest. Most of them take a while to get to know eachother, like a few hours. But after that their all really close. Charles and Jackie, Cletus and Grievous, and Benjamin, Isaac, and Watson are the groups that get along really well really fast. 

Im honestly probably am going to go for them adventuring outside the City to try to get the brothers to get along again. Mostly cause I thought of the idea that what if Watson, Jackie, and Grievous all lie to Ran, and while they are actually going on an adventure, they lie to him that his brother and his group isn't coming. Then when its much to late for Ran to back out, Watson just goes "Oh yeah! Your brother and his group are traveling with us. And you can't do anything about it." And Ran just sits there shocked. 

Ran and Ranbob are both subtle protective of their group. With Ranbob never really getting aggressive or going into overbearing. But for Ran, if someone in his group is injured badly enough or if there's a big enough threat he does get overbearing and extremely aggressive towards whatever/whoever the threat is *cough cough Ranbob cough*. Ranbob tends to be very physical, listening more to a certain instincts that tell him to constantly have a view on or hold his family, as if he doesnt see or touch them for a long time he gets very anxious and panicky, thinking his family is dead and that he's all alone again. His group understands this and so tends to not stray to far away from Ranbob. He will also follow his group like a lost puppy at times. Ran while listens more to the instinct that tells him at random times to make sure his family is ok and to bond with them. The bonding leads to him randomly grabbing them and just sitting down with them, most likely playing games. While the random urge to check on them has led to him waking them up during the middle of the night or interrupting his own conversation or others conversations just to ask if their ok. His took a while to understand why he does it, but now if he wakes them up or drags them somewhere, they know to go along with it and comfort him during those times. 

Hybrids are rare! Especially aggressive or netural type mobs like Ran, Ranbob, and Porkius are. Their actually seen as monsters and are chased out or hunted in other city's because people aren't accepting of them. Theres very few city's like Subbin that fully welcome and are even led by hybrids. So there are more hybrids in Subbin, than there is anywhere else. 

Sorry this is so long ':)

Asks are always welcome here, and don’t worry about taking a bit or anything. The questions aren’t going anywhere, there’s plenty of time. 

Here’s that for you,🌹anon.

--------------------

1: Wow, Ranbob’s really going through it, huh? Does he ever start to fall back on that need to be ‘perfect’ while with the others? If so, how do they deal with that? And how is he with others offering to help him? If he even can really recall falling under Dream’s thrall, by accepting such an offer, how does he react to others doing the same, even if their intentions are far different?

2: So we’ve settled all the ages down, nice. You figure out anything for their backstory yet? And how do their ages affect their relationships with one another? Does Benjamin take the lead a lot? Or is he more of a follower that still has a lot of say? Who met who first?

3: So Ran’s obviously going to be awhile before he believes what went down. Still, I can’t imagine he’d have been as willing to go along with his hauntings little roadtrip plan if he wasn’t swayed at least a bit, since I can’t imagine he wouldn’t have put his foot down if he truly though Ranbob had done what he did. Why exactly does he go along with it? Does some small part of him want to give his brother a chance? Is he just confident he can overpower him, and looking for an opportunity to settle the score? Does he see something that makes him hope a bit? What’s going down there, anon?

4: On one hand, very adorable. One the other hand, poor Watson. Does Jackie actually not know that stuff, or does he do that just to mess with his new father figure? It seems like they all take to it pretty well overall though.

5: I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Two people to truly fear. How many people straight up forfeit when faced with this combination? It seems like they’ve had some interesting times, good and bad. How’d those play out? As for those last two, I’m sensing a bit of a backstory. Why does Grievous not like stuff being put into his food? And why’s Jackie not good with being left?

6: So it’s fifty/fifty, huh? Who wins the most at what games? And uh, Watson has to be present for Dart Throwing. What happened there? How’s everyone’s poker faces? Who’s got the best luck in games of chance?

7: A love/hate relationship with height. I feel ya, Jackie. Very funny to imagine though, Jackie just, physically climbing up Ran. How tall even is this guy?? How do they deal with meaner teasing, not just from the gladiators, but from general bullies? Not everybody’s as friendly as some of the Pit fighters, after all. And how do the fishermen react with their fighting skills? Obviously, they must know how to fight somewhat, to have entered the Pit, but the gladiators do this for a living. How much is the difference in skill level? And does the gang ever get to show off just how skilled they are? 

8: Their home sounds very nice, honestly, I wished I could live there, minus the people. What’s everyone’s rooms look like? How have they personalized them? Which brings up another question-what kind of interests and hobbies do they have? What kind of things do they do that aren’t fighting and related to such? And they must be pretty well known, to have such high pay. Any of them have an arena title, or some sort of stage name? How many people can recognize the city’s top gladiators on sight? And how do they get around that, when they don’t want to be seen? How do people feel about them in general?

9: All these team ups sound terrifying, and I wouldn’t want to be facing them. How do they deal with it when they get a bad match up? Do they just stay out of each other’s way? Try to take their opponents out quick? Make it one on one? Ran and Jackie have to be my favorite team up, solely for the fact that you’ve said Ran straight up throws him. Like?? Imagine coming to the King’s Pit, a well known, popular place, hoping to prove yourself, and then getting taking out by a flying midget, just tossed at you by a ridiculously tall endermen hybrid. How would you feel?? 

10: Ranbob is just really going through the ringer here. How many times does he just drop stuff, or trip over his feet? Does he ever get better, or does he still retain a clumsy streak? If so, how does Ran react to that? It’s very good he and Cletus bond! Are they just as close as the others, or is there still a bit of distance? How often does Ranbob forget to eat or drink, or really just take a break? How long does it take to get him to start remembering to do that stuff again? 

Does he ever slip up while with the gladiators? Also, in a room? Do the fisherman expand their house more, or do they just leave them in the house? Does Ranbob ever get his own house up? If so, does he use it at all, or is it more for storage? And how many times did he fall asleep out there, get injured, or not realize it was about to rain? How long did it take before Benjamin or Charles put their foot down and make him stay in for a bit?

Has Ranbob ever even dealt with rain before, or a storm above water? If not, how’d he react to it? 

11: Oh, boy, Ran. Your concerns are understandable, but definitely going to lead to some angst. Is he just on edge the whole time? How many times does he just glare at them, or straight up steal one of his haunting back a few feet away from Ranbob’s? Are the fishermen ever worried he might hurt them?

12: How do both hybrids deal with their groups bonding? I imagine Ranbob’s pretty happy with it, but how about Ran? As you said, he doesn’t seem to be the biggest fan of these guys. 

13: Roadtrip! Gotta love a roadtrip! What kind of places do they head? Any transportation, or is it just walking, enjoying nature? Do they go on an adventure to look for something cool? What’re they getting up to?

14: So Ran and Ranbob both act on their instincts in different ways. How do they feel about seeing how the other acts? What happens if any of the fishermen stray too far, or get separated from Ranbob? Same question to Ran. Ran just...like...picks up members of his haunting? Do people just see him walk around with them dangling in his arms? He must be pretty strong. How often does he do this? How else do their instincts lead to them acting? Cuddle piles, picking up blocks, keeping their groups close together, ect?

15: So Subbin’s pretty much a safe space for hybrids? Interesting. But since the groups are heading out, does this mean they run into some trouble outside of the city? And is there ever trouble within it? 

Other questions: Does Karl play any further part in this, or has he already played his role for good? Does the gang ever end up back at Mizu? Do any of the group have a pet or something similar? With there be any sort of connection to other Tales, even if only slightly, or will they be solely focused on these two? Does Ranbob pick up his studies of Ranboo as best he can once he’s free, or does he leave it all behind entirely?

Thanks for the ask, this AU’s become quite interesting. I can’t wait to see where it goes!

[marshthat]

I'm here for the 16-pages essay about Mace and Eeth :)

LMAO well you asked for that yourself hshsjhsjj *cracks knuckles*

It’s almoust 16 pages long in my google docs, I’m not kidding, so I’m gonna make a little intro and then hide the rest under the “keep reading” thing (also I’m going to shorten it a bit, but nothing significant will be left out, I promise)

Uhm so yes three things for the intro:

1. These takes are based mainly on my ship interpretation of the canon things, so yeah if you don’t want to see the ship material in them they can be easily disagreed with in terms of how correct I see the intentions of the characters behind their words and actions, but BUT you’re here for macekoth aren’t you? So for a macekoth shipper this is a list of totally canon endless happiness and we’ll go with that :)

2. LEGENDS CANON IS CANON (in my heart there is no decanonising of the EU, nooo, I pretend disney didn’t hurt me qwq)

3. I'm not a native speaker and my english is far from perfect so if you think I’m talking strange - yes I am, I’m sorry, but yeah, that’s how we’re rolling here.

And now - moving on to the essay. I will take random pieces of media one by one and explain why exactly I see Mace/Eeth there.

As I call this, “Fantastic MaceKoth hints and interactions, and where to find them”

Star Wars 13: Emissaries to Malastare, Part 1 

So, what do we see here? Oooooh, the Concordance of Fealty. In general, the exchange of lightsabers is a very interesting phenomenon in the Jedi Order, and not only because no one remembered it existing before Macekoth decided to engage in one (because there are not known participants in the timeline BEFORE Mace and Eeth, while there are some AFTER) , but also because of its significance. The Concordance of Fealty is said to establish a “master-less learning relationship” between the two Jedi, i.e., a Force-bond that, if not superior, is equally as close and strong as the bond of a master and a padawan, which is said to be the closest bond possible in the Order.

As you see, this ritual required deep mutual trust from both its participants, and here's why: the exchange. of. the lightsabers. I will repeat it once more and even emphasise: THE EXCHANGE. OF. THE LIGHTSABERS.

As Anakin Skywalker said in “The Clone Wars” and Obi-Wan Kenobi said in the “Attack of the Clones”, a lightsaber is a Jedi's life, a thing that one should not part with under any circumstances. And what is the Concordance requiring? Exactly this. Giving away your lightsaber. A voluntary action of entrusting your saber, a product of your own hands, a part of yourself, to another sentient. This act of trust can have a very deep meaning, deep subtext to it, if you want it to.

I’m not saying the Concordance has a romantic subtext to it in general, no - but once again, I’m insisting that if someone wanted it to have a romantic subtext, he had the full freedom to pull a hecking legal jedi WEDDING under the cover story of this ritual. Why a wedding? Let’s dig a bit more in the comic page above. How it is depicted, such an exchange of the lightsabers looks suspiciously similar to the exchange of the wedding rings between the spouses. So making a guess that probably by engaging in the Concordance Mace and Eeth tried to pull off a legal wedding within the walls of the Temple in this disguised way seems like a fairly logical assumption. In addition, given that this ritual is stated to be very ancient and therefore long-forgotten, it is not surprising that a very bold plan like that in fact worked right in front of Yoda’s salad.

In addition, you should pay attention to the form in which these vows of the Concordance sound. Especially this "until one or both of us becomes One with the Force." line. Very very much like the real wedding vows that spouses say before the altar, huh?))) (For example, I’ll leave this link to the site with some sample wedding vows)

Besides, the fact that Mace had made actual EFFORT to find this Concordance ritual is so priceless by itself. However, here I tend to think that it was master T'ra Saa who suggested to Mace to search for the ritual and its details, and here are the reasons why. Master Saa: 1) was in the age of about a thousand of years by the time of TPM because of being a neti (i.e. realistically could be the only one in the Order left who could have remembered this Concordance of Fealty) 2) had her own experience of a romantic relationship, with master Tholme (i.e. she understood the issue of new feelings born between the two Jedi more than the most) 3) T'ra looked after Mace a lot when he was young, so she was literally his mother figure, and  to whom can a poor confused with his romantic feelings jedi master go, if not to his tree mom? :З

Shatterpoint (novel) — M. Stover

Here I want to go back to what I said about “the lightsaber is part of the Jedi.” In Stover's novel, there is an episode where Mace looks at Depa Billaba's saber and speculates about whether she could have given it to Nick Rostu voluntarily.

Mace is mentioning the Concordance of Fealty in this novel too!

The curious thing is that Mace asks “Would she give away part of herself?" So, firstly, by this he is confirming that the Concordance implies exactly this act of mutual trust (what I talked about in the previous part), and secondly, he is hinting that since he did perform this ritual with Eeth Koth, it means that he, Mace Windu, willingly entrusted a part of himself to the hands of the zabrak. (and this is HIS interpretation of what the Concordance means to HIM) Isn't that an act of true love?)

Jedi Council: Acts of War, Part 3

Here is a peculiar moment in the comic - when the two groups of the Jedi join together in the final battle to confront the enemy yinchorri army, both Mace and Eeth separate each other's names from the rest of the group when talking about several fellow Jedi at once. And if Eeth can have a reason for this, because Mace was the leader of this whole mission in the first place, Mace himself still doesn’t have any rational reasons to underline exactly Eeth’s name (and in the background of the second frame you can see that the first one to run in the battlefield is also not Eeth, which excludes the possibility of identifying Koth as just running the first).

What I want to say by this is that they just subconsciously separate each other's names, because their first thoughts, of course, focus on their dear beloved, and only then they add “and others”. Also I want to say that consider that MASTER MACE WINDU, the man of the “less talking, more doing” standarts, in the middle of the battle actually FOUND some time to stop and ask how his dear Eeth is doing.

Republic 65: Show of Force, Part 1

In this comic there is not an interaction, but a hint, but even if it's not the most obvious and outstanding, it is still worth mentioning.

Mace returns T'ra her lightsaber, which she lost during the previous battle, and a curious dialogue happens between them.

Master Saa says that the saber is just a tool that one shouldn’t get attached to. And that Mace SHOULD know that. Personally, I see this here as a direct reference to the Concordance of Fealty (which by the time of this comic has been already completed ten years earlier), and as a confirmation that T'ra Saa knows about the nature of the relationship between master Windu and master Koth.

What I think Mace’s tree mom is saying between the lines here: “you shouldn't get attached to a lightsaber. You once owned Eeth Koth’s saber, Mace, so you understand that by "lightsaber" I mean Eeth Koth himself. And you remember that attachments are still forbidden in the Jedi Order, so be careful there with your little horned husband, son."

Given that the events of this comic take place during the Clone Wars, this means that there has already happened the battle on the Petranaki Arena on Geonosis, where Eeth’s LAAT/i exploded in front of Mace’s eyes. ( This thing blowing up in aotc is the LAAT/i on which were Eeth Koth, Sora Bulq and Tarados Gon )

And perhaps he did spend too much time near the zabrak’s bacta tank afterwards and it gave birth to some rumors or concerns - and that is what T'ra Saa hints at. (also, the timeline of this comic is listed as 21 bby, which does not exclude the possibility of also the battle of Korriban already happened, where Eeth nearly died again, and even the torture of Eeth in Grievous’s hands too, which only gives Mace more reasons to go over his usual reserved boundaries in his wish to comfort and protect his beloved)

Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones

A very interesting thing is in one of the deleted scenes of " Attack of the Clones”. And yes, another hint, but wait, some more interaction are coming later. And for now... I'm of course talking about this scene of the conversation between Mace Windu and Obi-Wan Kenobi before the latter's departure to Kamino. In this scene, Kenobi expresses his concern that Anakin has a strong attachment to the senator from Naboo, and this attachment may cause some troubles for him when serving his duty as a Jedi and as her guardian. And let’s try to think about the reaction of Windu himself to this statement and how we can interpretate it: 1) He is not surprised by the news on Anakin's attachment, and accepts it very calmly. 2) In this scene, it is actually Windu who calms down panicking Obi-Wan with the words "you must believe that he will make the right choice”, and not vice versa.

What can this mean?

This can mean that Mace is not only not at all shocked by Skywalker's forbidden attachment, but on the contrary, supports Anakin and gives him a chance to make the right choice. I mean, Mace doesn't judge Anakin, Mace sympathizes with the young man in love and he trusts him. It’s a fair assumption that Windu himself most likely has an experience of such a situation, to which he compares the Skywalker’s issue and makes his conclusion, isn’t it?

To sum up? In this scene, Windu may be probably recalling his own special bond with _someone_, and, drawing from it the conclusion that a Jedi CAN perfectly fulfil his duties even if he has romantic feelings, advises Obi-Wan to trust his padawan with this.

Grievous Intrigue  — Star Wars: the Clone Wars 2x09

A small, but very a cute detail: in the episode when a hologram is shown to the Jedi Council, on which general Grievous tortures Eeth Koth and promises the zabrak jedi master "endless suffering” Mace Windu clenches his fists in the background.

And how much was said about the Jedi acceptance, the fortitude, the “letting go of emotions in the Force”… But what acceptance could be here when your small tender husband is being cruelly tortured with the electrostaff???

Before the holotransmition / / after the holotransmition

Star Wars: Zam Wesell

Here is a moment I spotted in this comics: when masters Rancisis and Koth both speak up during a Council meeting, Eeth is the first one Mace answers to. I know that this can seem a little bit weak as an argument but add to this THAT stare Koth gives Windu when applying for being the Alderaan guard.

Yes, exactly. THAT kind of stare right here ( ͡ ° ͜ʖ ͡ ° )

I mean, seriously, man, stop flirting with your Master of the Order husband right in the middle of the meeting! We know that on Alderaan they make one of the best sorts of wine in the whole galaxy, and you want to offer a date, but calm down a bit please, okay? You don’t want to get caught, right?)))

Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace

No, well, but there is no excuse for the fact that in the background during the scene of the Council meeting before sending Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi to Naboo as an escort for queen Amidala, Eeth is sitting in exactly the same way in which you could see Windu sitting himself on some of the TPM photos. That's all, that’s like the final proof that Eeth is a stupid husband and in love with his partner. Because one of the forms of love language? Yes, the one with interest copying, when a person is copying the gestures, the stature and the movements of whom he’s interested in, u-hum.

Eeth really have no, NO excuse for that, I swear

Bonus: The seats on the High Council

As one very wise person on twitter had once said,

This person was referring to Plo Koon and Kit Fisto tho, but I tell you what, this also applies very much to Mace Windu and Eeth Koth.  So here is Mace and Eeth on the Council staring at each other after a holotransmition!

[bubbyyerrr]

Broken Bow and Hochatown

5 Senses

Audio Reading:  https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PT2nvmg6Rn5rwvz6lqsgjeFvF_iRNzVz/view?usp=drivesdk

         Broken Bow and Hochatown look like a run-down Hallmark representation of a small town in the country. There are trees and wildlife everywhere and the lake and rivers are clear and (for the most part) free of pollution. The scenery changes a bit when hundreds of tourists crowd the one road and every camping spot along the lake, but they all seek the same middle-of-nowhere getaway.  The smell of Broken Bow- pine trees mixed with lake water and grills- persists through tourism's popularity.

           Broken Bow feels like a hot, sticky air constantly surrounding you and eventually being cleared by the breeze being carried above the soft waves of the lake. It feels like the first breath of fresh air when you step through the door of your home after a long workday. It sounds like high schoolers’ trucks with enlarged mufflers black-smoking and letting everybody in the neighborhood know that they have arrived. Broken Bow sounds like the warm hellos of a people that have known each other their whole lives because it seem like everybody here has.

           Broken Bow tastes like a confusing amount of Tex-Mex mixed with fast food and the occasional good burger. It tastes like local coffee beans and homemade ice cream. Broken Bow encapsulates the full feeling of a summertime feel good movie. The sights, smells, sounds, tastes, and feelings are all quite familiar to me, to the point where I have taken them each for granted. It feels of something unique and treasured by many for its beauty in the small things.

My Love for the Small Town

My experience with Broken Bow and Hochatown is substantial, seeing as I have lived there for the majority of my life. The irony is that I had to leave for college to realize its significance and impact on my life. In high school I was more than a little frustrated with my place of living. The “city” of Broken Bow had nothing for teenagers to do throughout the year. I wanted a bowling alley, a laser tag arena, a coffee shop, or anything else that a bigger city had. In high school, my friends and I would go to a parking lot adjacent to the Wal-Mart parking lot and sit in one person’s car and listen to music and talk. If we were not spending the night and playing video games, then this was our next best option in our eyes.

           I suppose there is a charm to its uniqueness, but I was quite blind to it having only experienced its lack of activities compared to other places. Teenagers of Broken Bow have it easy now. There are two coffee shops and a bowling alley is coming to Hochatown, I would not be at all surprised if a laser tag arena was soon to follow! I am quite happy with it, despite my obvious previous frustrations, however. I now experience it in mediation as a place to escape, as many many others have.

Sustain the Environment

Broken Bow and Hochatown should be preserved as an escape to pure nature with minimalized pollutants in the water and air. My hope is that every tourist that visits would share my view and take care of the environment of the small town. People visit this place because of the clear water and sense of peace with being surrounded by nature, and if that were to be ruined or contaminated, people would come here less and drastically decrease the business that the town has thrived from. The State Park of Beaver’s Bend is well protected, but I encourage anyone staying in cabins or camping to treat the nature around you kindly so that it may continue to welcome others who visit.

Come Visit you City Slickers

I would encourage anybody that has never been to Broken Bow/Hochatown to visit with a plan of activities for each day. Floating the river is a very popular choice among tourists and locals, and there are plenty of canoe and kayak rental places that will take you to the river and pick you up when you have finished your route. It is a great way to spend the day in the sun and water and encourages little competitions among families and friends or a peaceful journey for the lone wolf types. I would encourage newcomers to the area to come in with a fresh conviction to take a step away from staring at screens all the time. Beauty is not found in the lens of a camera but the purity of the moment captured by not only the sight but the sounds and feelings of the moment.

Source: https://www.vrbo.com/vacation-rentals/usa/oklahoma/broken-bow?noDates=true&k_clickid=CjwKCAjwuvmHBhAxEiwAWAYj-KvnJaKnEyvEjDVLuL5DySkqXXfVUSPAfUCi1V3-TquPPPTnJW-GCRoCFacQAvD_BwE&ds_cid=71700000080047762&ds_kids=p60860309934&ds_kid=39700060860309934&ksprof_id=700000002166899&ksdevice=c&ktarget=dsa-1183032255545&kloct=&klocf=9026684&ds_aid=58700006721571344&ha_t=:g:&gclid=CjwKCAjwuvmHBhAxEiwAWAYj-KvnJaKnEyvEjDVLuL5DySkqXXfVUSPAfUCi1V3-TquPPPTnJW-GCRoCFacQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Covid Changes to Broken Bow

Whenever the pandemic hit, Broken Bow initially followed a soft lockdown and the majority of residents did not leave their homes as frequently. After a few people got it and got over it, however, this changed for the entire town. Many people ceased to take it seriously or their view of the virus became “If I get it I get it”.

Broken Bow and Beaver's Bend are located in an overwhelmingly conservative area of the United States. With that being said, you can imagine that many things did not change in Broken Bow for the most part. Our Wal-Mart asked people to wear masks, but they were ignored, and no employees enforced the mask policy or social distancing. While the franchise restaurants, excluding two, stayed the same and flourished from drive-thru and delivery experiences, the “Mom and Pop” restaurants were hit quite hard by the initial drop in business. One of our biggest, most-frequented restaurants in town, Papa Poblanos, was heavily impacted at first, but they introduced an “Order Online” option that brought a significant chunk of their revenue back to normal.

As the virus progressed and calmed down, tourism has spiked back almost as intensely as it dropped. The cabin businesses faired very well, as did all of the attractions in Hochatown. Every store and restaurant you go to, it is quite easy to point out who is a tourist and who is a local based on who has a mask and who does not. Throughout the rise and fall of the virus, Broken Bow has managed to maintain an optimistic attitude, and gives tourists from all over a safe haven to escape.

All of the following photos are from Broken Bow photographer, Matt Cameron. Matt has done photography for multiple cabins and the other photos are of Broken Bow lake, Mountain Fork River and a mountain in the Broken Bow area. Each photo is from his account on instagram, @cameronphotography.ok Link: https://www.instagram.com/cameronphotography.ok/

Now that you’ve been Convinced

1.     Prepare your budget. You should not worry about money on your vacation/detox so save money where you can, to enjoy it later.

2.     Gather your party. Do you have a group of people or your family that you’d love to escape with? If you’re going alone, this step is significantly less important.

3.     Prepare your mind and body for a change by adapting sleep and thought patterns. It can be very difficult to not think about work or other things while vacationing, so prepare yourself.

4.     Let people know ahead of time that you will not be on your phone as much (hopefully not at all).

5.     Look for the perfect place to stay. There are hundreds of cabins in Broken Bow, so find one you love!

6.     Reach out to the cabin booking services and talk about your favorite place. Get a good relationship with them so if you need anything while there, they can oblige easily.

7.     Look into possible activities that you think you might enjoy. While there is some awesome stuff to do here, you may not be able to do it all, so prioritize as much as possible!

8.     Plan out your days ahead of time. Make an itinerary if wanted, but do not be too strict with the timelines.

9.     Pack well! Your vacation is almost here, but do not get too overzealous and forget something. Make a list ahead of time and add on as the time gets closer.

10.  Make a banger playlist. No trip is complete without tunes to jam to. That road anticipation can be alleviated with some sick beats.

11.     Practice your most hick accent on the way. This step is crucial.

12.     As you arrive, just throw your bags on the bed and go eat! Get some experience and good food on the first day. My highest of recommendations to Grateful Head.

13.     Get that phone out of here! You will ruin it in all the water around here anyways!

14.     Enjoy every moment of the day. If you need a nap, take it. If you want a snack, you deserve it. Stick to the itinerary, but if something goes off schedule, that is okay! That is why you prioritized!

15.     Take a walk or a few out in nature before you go. You can take some time away from the constant distractions from everyday life and actually think in the sounds of nature. A vacation is nothing without a proper detox.

My blog over Broken Bow was an interesting one. I have written about my hometown before but never in this capacity and to this magnitude. My focus on the hometown and not so much the important events of my life in them was strange but welcome. My blog served as an homage to the place I grew up, even though I have not been overly fond of it. It became an appreciation of the roots of my parents and grandparents.

The colors used on my blog were the default colors of Tumblr. I am not sure how customizable the layout of blogs on Tumblr are. The pictures I used that I am proud of are the pictures of Matt Cameron, a wonderful photographer friend of mine. I wanted my blog to reflect a familiar place of peace that you could go to to collect your thoughts. The audience for my blog is people who have never visited Broken Bow or Hochatown before.

I put my blog together just assignment by assignment as I went through them. I feel it is strong in capturing the beauty of a small town getaway. The blog does not accurately depict the frustrations of limited activities there. I could relate the blog to my college career because of the surprising amount of musically talented people in Broken Bow. It honestly does not have much to relate to apart from the musically inclined people there.

This post was for Dr. Hembrough’s ENG 3903 course.

[gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights]

Rating: G

Summary: Kagami and Adrien skate together, and the special guest arrives.

Word Count: 2644 | Chapter 2/3

XXX

“Woah, it’s pretty dark in here.  Are you sure Phillipe said it was okay to come?”  Adrien asked as the doors creaked open.

It was black as pitch inside.  If Nino hadn’t shown her the process photos of their decorations, she might have believed the rink was deserted.

“I’ve never lied to you,” Kagami replied.  Her ice skates clinked where they hung over her shoulder.  “Come on, let’s get that ridiculous wig off.”

“What? Is blue not my color?”  He grinned.  It was insufferably cute, even if Kagami now knew the affection she felt for him wasn’t romantic.

She pulled the wig off and tossed it aside.  That was the signal she and Nino had agreed upon.

Suddenly the rink bust into light.  Lasers of red and green glinted off the giant disco ball Wayhem had managed to hang at the top of the dome.  Normal fluorescent bulbs flashed to life as well, illuminating the crowd that had gathered in the stands around the rink.

“Happy birthday, Adrien!”  All of his friends shouted in echoing cacophony.

Kagami’s focus stayed trained on Adrien as realization dawned over him.  His wide eyes took in everyone grinning at him—Nino in the back by his DJ equipment, Alya waving from closer by, Wayhem charging up to be the first to greet him.

“You… you guys threw me a birthday party?”

“It is your birthday, isn’t it?”  Kagami laughed before taking his skates.  “I’ll hold on to these for now.  Go say hello to everyone.”

Before she knew it, Adrien’s arms were flinging around her.

“Thank you, Kagami.  I know how much work this must have taken to put together.”

She relaxed in his embrace, hugging him back.

“You know you’re precious to us.  If you want to thank anyone, it’s Nino who’s the mastermind.”

“I’m not surprised.  He’s brilliant.”  Adrien pulled back, only to give her a quick bisous.  “I know you were involved too.  Please, let me thank you.”

“O-of course, Adrien.”

They shared one last smile before Wayhem practically tackled him.  

“Adrien!  It’s so good to see you, man!”

Kagami backed away as the crowd advanced.  Even after all this time, large groups were difficult for her to navigate.  It was more than worth it to see Adrien so happy, though.

After hugs and bisous were exchanged all around, Nino kicked on the stereo.

“Alright, homies!  Who’s ready to get out there and break the ice?”

He played Friday I’m in Love—one of Adrien’s favorite songs—as everyone who wanted to laced up their skates and filed onto the rink.

“Please, you won’t catch me down in that cesspit.”  Chloé tossed her ponytail.  

“Aww, but it would be fun, Chloé!”  Her red-haired friend—Sabrina, if Kagami recalled correctly—smiled up at her pleadingly.  She already had a pair of turquoise skates on.  “If you fall, I’ll catch you!”

“Quiet!” Chloé pressed a hand to her mouth.  “Do you want everyone to know I can’t skate?”

“Considering you just announced it, I doubt you will keep it a secret.”  Kagami’s eyes narrowed.  Nino might trust Chloé now, but it was difficult to forgive someone who had abused Adrien’s friendship for so long.

“I bet you’re a professional figure skater, aren’t you,” Chloé muttered.

“No.  Skating is just a hobby.  But I could help teach you, if you would like.”

Kagami might not trust Chloé, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be civil.  Besides, she’d been wrong about a few of Adrien’s friends before.

Chloé blinked a few times.  “You would—?  I mean, thanks, but no.  I need to make sure the media doesn’t catch us here, anyway.  It’s the most important job, you know.”

“Of course.  Perhaps another time then.”  She dipped her head.

“That would be… nice.”

That settled, Kagami sat a little ways off to put on her skates.

“Kagami!”  Adrien plopped down in the chair beside her, looking brighter than ever.  “Did you see the cake Marinette made?  Alya says it’s got passionfruit icing!”

“I didn’t,” she replied honestly.  “Knowing Marinette, I trust it’s amazing.”

“She’s so thoughtful.”  He smiled while accepting his skates back from her.  “Do you know when she’s coming?  I want to thank her, but I haven’t seen her yet.”

Kagami’s brow furrowed.  “Alya didn’t tell you?  Marinette isn’t coming.”

“She’s… she’s not?”  Adrien’s head hung.  “Do you know why?  Did I do something to upset her?”

“I’m sure it’s not that.”  Unless it was because she’d learned of Adrien’s crush on Ladybug.  Marinette was always touchy when it came to competing for Adrien’s affections, even if she’d eventually put aside her rivalry with Kagami.

“She didn’t explain why she couldn’t come.  But she did say that you mean the world to her, and that she will make it up to you.”

“She really said that?”  His hand hovered over his heart, his face hopeful.

Kagami wondered why Nino thought it so important to bring Ladybug to the party.  Adrien looked just as thrilled at the idea of seeing Marinette.

“Yes.  Now until then, let’s make the most of tonight.”  

“Right.  Thank you.”

He swapped out his orange sneakers for white ice skates, and she caught a glimpse of the dragon sticker she’d stuck on his left blade back when they were dating.  It left a bittersweet taste in her mouth, but more sweet than bitter.  He was a dear friend.  He’d shown that nothing would change that.

“Dance with me?”  He asked while pulling her towards the rink.

“On the ice?”

“Why not?  I know you’re skilled enough.”

She had no doubt of that.  Adrien had always been a little less steady in his skates than her, though.

“Alright.”  She smiled.  “If you think you can keep up with me.”

“You know I never back down from a challenge!”

Nino was playing Don’t Think Twice as they glided out onto the ice.  She had to weave between other skaters—the arena had never been this crowded when she and Adrien escaped here before.  Phillipe must have been thrilled to admit so many patrons.

“Woah!”  Adrien skidded back when a young man with tall blond hair came barreling through.

“Sorry!”  Luka called, skating quickly behind him.  “This is XY’s first time on the ice.”

“Lu!  Look, I think I’m getting the hang of it!”

Kagami hid a laugh behind her hand as XY wiped out, “starfishing” (as Nino would have called it) across the ice.

“Nice moves,” Juleka deadpanned before gliding on with Rose.

“You have some interesting friends,” Kagami noted as she and Adrien started moving again.

“I’m not sure if XY counts as a friend, exactly.”  He rubbed the back of his neck.  “He’s more like… an acquaintance, or a weird family member you have to invite to reunions.”

Kagami raised an eyebrow.  “You have a lot of family members like that?”  She had some odd relatives, but they tended to be excluded from family gatherings.

“Er… well, Nino says his family does.  I think all of my family is weird, but a different kind of weird, if you know what I mean.”

Kagami nodded, remembering the few times she’d met Adrien’s cousin Felix.  Not to mention the austere Gabriel himself.

Once they got to a clearer area, Adrien took both of her hands and began skating backwards.

“You’ve gotten better,” she noted.  “I still think you should let me take the male part, though.  I’m more used to skating backwards than you.”

“Fair enough.”  He effortlessly switched positions with her.  

At times like this, she remembered why she’d dated Adrien in the first place.  Not only was he sweet, respectful, and talented, but they were so alike.  They could glide in near-perfect sync from hours of easy practice.  He’d been the first one to take her routine hobbies and add a spark to them, make them truly fun.

Thankfully, those were all things that hadn’t changed.  It had hurt when he’d first admitted that he was still in love with someone else, that he didn’t feel it was fair to treat her as a second choice.  But she respected that now.  He’d made his decision, and she’d learned much more about herself since then, too.

Such as the fact that she might not desire romantic affections at all.

“New song,” Adrien said when Don’t Think Twice stopped playing and Wannabe by the Spice Girls began.  “This one’s not in three-four time.  You’ll have to give me something harder than a box step waltz.”

“Okay, I’ll stop going easy on you!”  

She let go of one of his hands, spinning him out and back in.  He almost skidded on the second spin, but she caught him and turned it into a dip.

“Looks like someone was getting cocky.”  She smirked.

“Nah.  I just knew you would catch me.”  He winked.

She laughed, pulling him back upright and beginning a simpler dance that Alya had taught her.  Something called a foxtrot, if she remembered correctly.

“Shouldn’t you be saving that kind of flirting for your girlfriend?”  

It was satisfying to watch the blush spread across his cheeks.  “My—?  I don’t have a girlfriend.  But if I’m making you uncomfortable, I’m sorry, I really should have—”

“Relax, Adrien.  I was only teasing.”  She squeezed his hand.  They continued gliding hand in hand, not pulling off any fancy tricks this time.

“Still.  I should be more considerate of your feelings.”

“I’ve assured you, you have nothing to worry about.”  She hoped her honest smile showed that.

“But—”

“I’m asexual, Adrien.”

He went silent.  Kagami tried to keep her strides even.  She’d realized this about herself for a while now—since shortly after they broke up—but she’d yet to voice it even to her closest friend.  What if he didn’t believe her?  Or worse, what if he believed she’d led him on in their relationship?  She hadn’t realized that the strong friendship she’d felt for him wasn’t romantic or sexual attraction at the time.

“Like Max?” He replied after a moment.

The response threw her for such a loop that she almost stumbled.  “Like—who?”

“Max Kanté.  From my class?  I can introduce you if you’d like; I saw him when we came in.  If you’re aro too, you might want to talk to Alix, she’s—”

A pink blur blew past them.

“—right there, actually.”  He laughed.  “You might want to catch her off of the rink, though.  She’s even more competitive than you.  It’ll be hard to get her to slow down.”

Something swelled in Kagami’s chest.  She’d felt fairly secure in her identity, but still very much alone.  Distant strangers on the internet could only provide so much comfort.  But if Adrien knew not one, but two people like her…

“Thank you,” she said, her voice thick with emotion.  “That would mean so much to me.”

“No problem!  And I really hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable while we were dating.  Relationships are pretty new to me; I never even thought to ask.”

He was worried about making her uncomfortable?  He really was twice the gentleman she’d assumed.

“No need to worry.  I didn’t know I was ace at the time.  If I was uncomfortable, I would have told you.”  It had been a long road in realizing, and an even longer road in accepting her asexuality.  But there was no point in trying to deny who she was.  Seeing Adrien take it in stride was more of a relief than he could know.  “Thank you for your thoughtfulness.”

“Of course!  You’re my friend, Kagami.  I would never want to hurt a friend.”

Tears threatened to prick her eyes when he flashed her his brightest smile.  Before she could look like a complete fool, though, Nino skated up behind Adrien and tapped his shoulder.

“Hey, bro!  Hey, lady bro!  You mind if I borrow Adrien for a bit?  I want to show off my sick skate moves!”

Kagami laughed.  She could always count on Nino to keep things light.  

“Nino?”  Adrien looked shocked.  “Since when do you skate?”

“Since Kagami taught me!  Thanks again for that, by the way.”  He tipped his cap at her. 

“Why don’t we all skate together for a while?  It’ll be more fun that way,” Adrien suggested.

“Whatever my best bro wants.  XY took over the music, so I’m free for the next few songs.”

Adrien took both of their hands, and they glided in sync.  It was a bit more difficult with Nino, since he was still a beginner, but it was no less fun.  They even managed to dance a bit to the upbeat music.  

“This party is everything I could ask for,” Adrien said in the quiet between two songs.  “I can’t thank you guys enough.”

“We’re just happy to see you happy, dude.”  Nino clapped his shoulder.  “I don’t think this party has everything yet, though.”

Adrien’s brow scrunched.  “What do you mean?”

That was when Kagami noticed a figure in red skating towards them.  The crowd parted before her slow but steady strides.  

“I believe he means her.”  Kagami pointed to the red skater.

It was worth everything to see Adrien’s eyes widen, his cheeks turn pink, an expression of utter elation wash over him.  His grip on Kagami’s hand loosened as he clasped his hands in front of his chest.

“No way.  No way!  You got Ladybug to come to my party?”  He looked between Kagami and Nino, as if trying to figure out who to thank for it.

“It was all Nino.”  Kagami dipped her head.

“It was nothing.”  Nino rubbed the back of his neck.  “Alya did all the heavy lifting.  Her Ladyblog connections, ya know?”

Adrien looked like he was about ready to throw his arms around both of them, but that was when Ladybug reached their group.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” she said, sounding shyer than Kagami remembered her.  A frozen tiara glimmered in her dark hair, reflecting the laser lights that flashed across the rink.  “I heard it was someone’s birthday?”

“Me!”  Adrien practically shouted.  “I mean���uh, thank you so much for coming to my party, Ladybug.  I’m honored.”

He bowed so deeply, his skates nearly slid out from under him.  Ladybug hid a giggle behind her hand.

“You’re so cute—I mean—it’s super cute—COOL of you to invite me.”  She flashed finger guns at him.  

Kagami’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully.  Was Ladybug always so awkward in social situations?  

“It was super cool of you to come!”  Adrien held her shoulders to steady himself as he gave the traditional bisous.  Ladybug’s face was bright red afterwards.

“Should we give them some space?”  Nino whispered to Kagami behind his hand.

“It would defeat the purpose if we didn’t, wouldn’t it?”

“You’re leaving?”  Adrien asked when he tore his eyes away from Ladybug long enough to notice.  “You don’t have to!”

“No worries, dude!  We’ve got to check on Chloé and make sure we’re still not on your babysitter’s radar.  We’ll catch up with you later!”

Nino dragged Kagami away, nearly sending them both to the ice until she steadied them.

“Do you really think Chloé is shirking her responsibilities?”  She asked.

“Nah, she seemed pretty serious about that.  I just needed an excuse to leave them alone.  Adrien would be too nice to leave us otherwise.”

“Oh.”  Kagami leaned back against the railing, watching Adrien take Ladybug’s hand.  They seemed well suited for each other.  Kagami had heard Adrien wax poetic about Ladybug enough to tell his affections were genuine, and Ladybug could protect Adrien from anyone who wanted to hurt him.  

Unless she was the one who ended up hurting him, in which case Kagami would have to test her sabre skills against the superhero.  

That shouldn’t be necessary. Kagami hoped they would find happiness together for at least one evening.

[hearttstopper]

“i have a lot of thoughts about this too especially with the whole watermelon sugar/nameless thing” pls miss britt share ur thoughts id love to hear them

This got so long. I’m really sorry. My thoughts about HS2/In Watermelon Sugar/a bunch of other random stuff under the cut.

These are all thoughts that are only vaguely connected, and stuff that I’m sure has been said a hundred times before mixed with a ton of my own personal conjecture, so please bear that in mind… This is just like total rambling from me. 

But I have been fascinated with Harry’s connections to In Watermelon Sugar since we first heard the stupid rumors about the song. Especially the quote from the book about the narrator’s name. That quote got me thinking about how when it comes to Harry, tons of people only see what they want to see based on whatever ‘version’ of Harry is most appealing to them.

Read these quotes from the book with that in mind:

My Name

“I guess you are kind of curious as to who I am, but I am one of those who do not have a regular name. My name depends on you. Just call me whatever is in your mind.

If you are thinking about something that happened a long time ago: Somebody asked you a question and you did not know the answer.

That is my name.

Perhaps it was raining very hard.

That is my name.

Or somebody wanted you to do something. You did it. Then they told you what you did was wrong—“Sorry for the mistake,”—and you had to do something else.

That is my name.

Perhaps it was a game you played when you were a child or something that came idly into your mind when you were old and sitting in a chair near the window.

That is my name.

Or you walked someplace. There were flowers all around.

That is my name.

Perhaps you stared into a river. There was something near you who loved you. They were about to touch you. You could feel this before it happened. Then it happened.

That is my name.”

and:

“My Name. I do not have a regular name. I am a mystery to you. I wished Margaret would leave me alone…”

— Richard Brautigan, In Watermelon Sugar

The narrator of In Watermelon Sugar isn’t just a nameless figure, he actually invites the reader to give him whatever name they find most fitting for him. A positive connotation, a negative one, a nonsensical one… whatever you, the reader, decides. And that feels like a very apt description of Harry and the various ways fans have perceived him from the very beginning… by now, so many people have projected so many different images onto Harry that over time it has completely blurred all lines as to who Harry actually is. 

Here’s a review I found of the book that summarizes the world within In Watermelon Sugar better than I can (as well as somehow still aligning perfectly with the concept of struggling with fame and identity, etc): “Much of the sense of disparity in [in Watermelon Sugar] results from the incongruity inherent in the person of the narrator, who insists that everything in iDEATH is exactly as it should be—the people gentle, pleasant, and tolerant. Despite the narrator’s insistence that iDEATH is a stable Utopia, however, many of the things that happen are fraught with pain and violence. Balancing the easygoing and vegetarian people with their light chores and flower-filled parades are the man-eating tigers, the burning of the mutilated corpses of inBOIL and his gang, Margaret’s suicide, and the emptiness felt by the narrator but never named.” 

So essentially within In Watermelon Sugar, we’re shown that in the surrealist, post-apocalyptic setting of iDeath, things are only perfect on a surface level. Everyone in this world appears to be happy (or at least, they should be), but a closer look reveals the true nature of iDeath: it’s beyond grim. And so despite the happy, shiny surface, being a part of that happy, peaceful commune is unable to cure the narrator of the inexplicable emptiness he feels inside of him. (‘All the lights couldn’t put out the dark running through my heart.’ ‘Having sex and being sad.’)

The sadness that Harry has already admitted is very prevalent in HS2 has already been implied to be about a ‘breakup,’ but it’s clear to me that Lights Up is anything but a breakup song… (“[Lights Up is about] freedom, self-reflection, self-discovery, things that I had thought about and wrestled with…” + “For me, it’s a very uplifting song. In some places, it’s kind of dark, but to me, it’s like, very liberating. I think, you know, over the past couple of years… It’s about self-reflection, and freedom. It feels very free to me, which is I guess things that I’ve been trying to process�� I guess, kinda wrestled with a little over the last couple of years. It’s kinda like, about accepting all of those things.”)

His sadness/whatever emotions and problems he’s been wrestling with have seemingly spanned the course of a few years, and are very personal to him… which is why I feel that releasing Lights Up as the first single sets the tone for the rest of his album centering around his own identity. The line “Lights up and they know who you are, know who you are… Do you know who you are?” poses the question - who is Harry? - and then, “Shine! Step into the light… Shine! So bright sometimes. Shine! I’m not ever going back.” shows us Harry having the strength and bravery to overcome his fears (stepping into the light, although it’s ‘so bright sometimes’ - overwhelming) and reclaim/express his own misunderstood identity.

A lot of people have been trying to tie the In Watermelon Sugar thing back to someone else, but at this point I completely disagree. Not only have we seen him make literary references in the past (the Charles Bukowski reference in Woman), but… given everything that he’s said about Lights Up so far – which was surprisingly a lot – I think that Harry genuinely just took a lot of inspiration from the book because it seemed to hit close to home with his own feelings about self-acceptance and living an authentic life within the public eye. 

I think a lot about the scene we’ve yet to see from the directors cut - a room full of many different iterations of Harry.

“My name depends on you… Just call me whatever is in your mind.” 

Which leads me back to more total conjecture on my end, but I think that when Harry initially set out on tour / kicked off his solo career, he seemed determined to continue performing within the safety of the walls that had been built around him, so to speak. In one of the interviews he did earlier, he talked about tackling his first album from the perspective of ‘bowling with the bumpers up’ - he wanted to play it safe. He didn’t want to veer too far out of his own comfort zone and fuck it all up… and in doing so, he seemed to hold himself back quite a lot. “I wanted to see if people would enjoy an album without knowing everything about me.” 

I think that heading into writing with that mindset explains songs like ‘Complicated Freak’ and ‘Medicine’ being scrapped and excluded from being released on HS1. In retrospect, all of his tour - and especially Medicine - seem a lot like Harry dipping his toes in the water. Being totally presumptuous again, but I find it likely that Harry has had it ingrained in his mind for a long time that he needs to fit certain molds and keep certain narratives alive in order to continue to be successful. And I imagine that this idea is not his own, but instead something that has been hammered into his head over and over from a young age. And I would guess that a lot of anxiety and doubt has stemmed from that - go back and watch that shaky first performance of Medicine and tell me what you think he was likely feeling in that moment. But again, it circles right back to the strength and bravery of doing what he knows needs to be done to expel all of the darkness inside of him - stepping into the light. (“Never going back now / Be so sweet if things just stayed the same.” It’d be so sweet if he could live in that fantasyland forever.)

Anyway. I really don’t think Harry was at all prepared for just how many people would show up to support him in that sense… but his own community just rolled up in droves, bringing a total outpouring of love for him every single night. He had entire arenas lit up in rainbows, people bringing hilarious and heartfelt signs, flags after flags after flags after flags… all in celebration of him and the feelings of safety, strength, and bravery that he has continuously imparted back onto his fans. It was such a queer lovefest that even other artists likened his tour to “pride parades every night.” That’s so unbelievably powerful? I can’t think of any other artist who’s crowds do that for them… not even gay icons like Elton John? I still maintain that one of the most incredible things to have come out of HSLOT was the safe spaces he + his fans created for one another. It meant a lot to us, and it clearly meant a lot to him:

“The tour, that affected me deeply. It really changed me emotionally. Having people come to sing the songs… For me, the tour was the biggest thing in terms of being more accepting of myself, I think. I kept thinking, “Oh, wow. They really want me to be myself. And be out and do it.” That’s the thing I’m most thankful for, of touring. I feel like the fans in the room — it’s this environment where people come to feel like they can be themselves. There’s nothing that makes me feel more myself than to be in this whole room of people. It made me realize people want to see me experiment and have fun. Nobody wants to see you fake it.” 

I think that going on tour, and seeing the reaction and the acceptance of his audience, definitely made him want to take the bumpers down… to ‘be out and do it’ because ‘nobody wants to see him fake it.’ It seemed to help him massively in terms of his own ‘self acceptance and the things he’s been wrestling with’ and to make an incredibly, incredibly long winded answer short, it’s why I STILL do not think that releasing Lights Up on National Coming Out Day was in any way incidental. I think that was a big part of what Harry meant when he said that no one wanted to see him ‘faking’ things.

And… that’s basically it, I think, for now. I’ve just been sitting here nodding along at everything he’s been showing us the last few weeks… Impressed by the direction that he seems to be heading. And taking notes. I’ll go ahead and shut up now because I KNOW it’s still too early to draw definite conclusions on his intent for this new ‘era’ (and this new song could be about choking on literal fucking watermelon seeds for all I know, nothing Harry does ever makes any kind of sense does it), but I can’t help but come to my own conclusions based on what I feel he is sharing with us.

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: “Pomp and Circumstance”

Welcome back, welcome back. I managed to miss last week’s title/summary leak, which for any other show would have been a blessing. With RWBY though I find myself not minding---even hoping for---spoilers, just so I won’t be quite so blindsided by things when I actually watch them. It’s a topsy-turvy world.

We’ll get to that in a bit though. For now, we open on the new Amity Arena immediately flying over the Schnee dust mine. I’m talking the group has barely made it back out into the sun before Ironwood’s men are arriving and setting up base. That’s some real eagerness to get the ball rolling. Funny how Ironwood’s entire plan is doomed to failure and eight of the people helping him to complete it haven’t mentioned that yet...

We get a shot of the Ace Ops triumphantly emerging with Qrow and RWBYJNR positively geeking out over how fantastic their take-down of the geist was. It was admittedly a great battle. The best scene I think we’ve had in a while. Sadly, that charm didn’t carry over into this episode. 

As the gang gushes over how fantastic they were Clover explains that it all comes down to the makeup of their team. They were specifically chosen to compliment one another and make up for any liabilities they might bring. Forethought like this brings back the age-old question of whether Ozpin’s own teams are as random as they appear. Does he really leave it to chance, who you first run into and what relic you happen to pick? Or was he subtly pulling the strings in order to ensure that complimentary teammates ended up together? Even if they don’t realize they’re complimentary at first. Ruby and Weiss are a perfect example of that. 

It’s a question we may never have answered. Especially as the Ozpin hate just keeps piling on and on. Before that though we’re given a ton of humor. Nora, continuing her role as comic relief, slides up to Elm and asks if she needs a new best friend. Their team name could be

I’d watch it.

More pressingly though, talk of team compositions and pairing up leads to a comment from Harriet that we need to unpack. Bear with me for a moment though because there’s something else I want to tackle first. It’ll connect back in a moment. Basically, I want to address my frustration last recap that Oscar was left behind with no explanation and the assertion by others that this was a ‘show don’t tell’ moment. It wasn’t. Providing your audience with no reasoning behind a decision is not the same thing as providing a visual explanation as opposed to a verbal one. On some level the choice to leave Oscar behind functions like an argument and I see this a lot in paper writing:

Student: This ad is really sexist

Me: And...? Why?

Student: I mean it’s obvious? All the women are wearing skimpy clothes and that one guy calls her a ‘bitch.’

Me: Perhaps obvious to you, but we can’t rely on the reader picking up on the same details and interpreting them in the same way. So you need to include that as evidence. In addition, you need to consider potential counter claims. What if I said some women choose to wear skimpy clothing because they feel empowered by it and that my friends often call me a ‘bitch’ as a silly endearment? How do we undermine those arguments in the context of your ad so you can more solidly prove that it’s still sexist? 

Student: Hmm

vs. 

Yang: We didn’t bring Oscar with us

Me: And...? Why?

Yang: I mean it’s obvious? He’s not ready for this fight yet.

Me: Perhaps obvious to you, but you can’t just bank on the viewer coming to that same conclusion. You also need to consider potential counter arguments. What if I pointed out that Oscar fought just as well as you during the premiere battle and that there’s now a history of you excluding him from every event you possibly can? How do you then undermine those points to prove that a) he really isn’t ready yet and b) that you actually left him behind because of his skill and not because you’re all still pissed at Ozpin?

Yang: Hmm

That was not a ‘show don’t tell’ moment. That was no tell combined with no show. A ‘show don’t tell’ would have been Yang going, “I don’t feel so bad now that we left Oscar behind” and then cutting to Oscar training with Ironwood, showing us that he needs to improve his skills as opposed to Yang just telling us, ‘He’s not ready yet.’ But we got neither. 

I bring this up a full episode later because here, in “Pomp and Circumstance” we’re given another shining example of precisely how bad RT’s ‘show don’t tell’ skills are. The Ace Ops. What are we shown? A group that is incredibly close with one another. They’re capable of anticipating each other’s moves and are able to follow directions with little to no prompting. They’re constantly joking, teasing, goofing off in a way that implies real intimacy. Clover proclaims, “What would you do without me?” demonstrating a familiarity that allows him to exude both confidence and playfulness. They’re close enough that he needn’t maintain the persona of their boss; close enough that he can play the part of their hero without anyone taking offense. In short, they act precisely like Team RWBYJNR.

Now, what are we told by Harriet?

“We’re not friends... that’s the job. We don’t confuse the two.”

Excuse me?

There has been nothing---NOTHING---in the last two episodes to imply that this team functions solely as a work group. Based on what we’ve been shown the idea that they’re not friends is laughable. What the audience sees and what the audience is told by a character do not match up. Kind of like how we’re told throughout the entirety of Volume Six that the group is heroic when we’re shown them repeating the actions of the villains. Kind of like how Qrow tells us that Ruby is different from Ozpin even as we’re shown her making the exact same choices. Here, we’re told that the Ace Ops aren’t friends yet shown that they clearly are and this disconnect functions solely as a means of---again---highlighting how special RWBYJNR supposedly is. Because we get a long shot of how devastated that mindset makes them

and then Ruby immediately rejecting the idea that you need to maintain a purely professional relationship in order to be a good team, begging the girls to go out sightseeing with her. Later Weiss proclaims to her father that they’re not merely friends, they’re family. As nice as the sentiment is, this is just another example of how RT is trying to paint RWBYJNR, RWBY in particular, as intrinsically better than all the other fighters around them. The takeaway is that the Ace Ops might be powerful, but without friendship they’ll never be as strong as our heroes... except the Ace Ops are clearly friends. Harriet’s cold and judgmental tone---You consider yourself friends with them?---makes no sense here. This would be an entirely different situation if we were actually shown an Ace Ops team that acted indifferent towards one another and if, later on, that professionalism and lack of knowledge about each other’s temperament, skills, etc. led to a problem. Ruby comes in with a, “See? I never would have made that mistake with my team because I’ve gotten to know them both on and off the battlefield. Being friends is an asset.” But we don’t get that, so all we’re left with is a message of, ‘RWBYJNR is super special even though they’re doing nothing different from the Atlas specialists. But trust us, they’re intrinsically better.’

That message got old, oh, two volumes ago.

In addition, can we please talk about the messy pacing? The group doesn’t want to go sightseeing with Ruby because they’re exhausted. Weiss and Yang act like their traveling and near death experiences happened last night, and later Qrow’s “the finally getting to Atlas part” comment reads as recent too, but as I mentioned in the previous recap, Pietro’s comment tells us that at least a few days have passed. Realistically a few weeks. So which is it? Has enough time passed to justify Pietro creating seven distinct upgrades and apologizing for having their weapons “so long”? Or has so little time passed to justify the group talking about their trip like they still haven’t had the chance to sleep after Penny’s tour? Yes, this stuff actually matters when you’ve got a laundry list of internal conflicts and the audience wants to know how much time the group has had to grapple with them. Has it only been a few days since the Ozpin drama, or a few weeks? Did Yang and Blake murder a guy the other day or last month? We’re simply not told. 

While consistency unravels Ironwood tells Clover that he needs the Ace Ops “on the ground” being “subtle” in their investigations... so maybe don’t bring Marrow. This moment, right down to the humor, is pretty identical to Blake deciding to leave Yang behind when she went to dismantle the CTV tower. Because “Stealth’s not really your... um...” Thing. If only the writing acknowledged these failings in a non-comedy context and encouraged the characters to learn from their mistakes. Marrow might have to listen to his boss and Yang will do anything Blake asks of her, but the rest of the time? ‘You’re really bad at missions that require subtly’ is just going to piss the group off. Even though it’s true.

As the Ace Ops take off Ironwood calls over the team leaders. Which is a bit of a weird choice considering he’s not asking Jaune and Ruby to keep secrets from their teams or anything. They’re literally just going to turn around and relay that info immediately  to YWBNR. So why not just tell them all at once? Chalk it up to not wanting to animate nine characters. Basically though we learn at least part of Tyrian’s motivations here. He’s been killing off prominent figures who oppose Ironwood, including Forest, trying to make it look like Ironwood himself is killing to keep them quiet. And it’s working. More points to Ironwood for throwing out, “I’m not really concerned about my public image” when Qrow accuses him of only caring about publicity. If Ironwood is secretly a horrible dictator who really doesn’t care about his people... he’s doing a very good job of hiding it. 

He’s also super chill about Jaune talking back to him about the embargo, a sharp contrast to Jacques’ “How dare you speak to me that way!” when Weiss takes a similar tone. Like the party way back in Volume Four, Ironwood is presented as the clear hero to Jacques’ villain. He lets subordinates point out difficulties and potential mistakes he’s makings. Instead of just, you know, abusing them. 

So yeah, Jacques is a thing. He shows up pissed that Ironwood commandeered his abandoned mine, but also he’s happy because he thinks Ironwood has screwed himself now. Jacques is gunning for a seat on the council and he hopes the military taking possession of private property, not matter how grimm-infested, will help. He accuses Ironwood of roping Weiss into all this, Weiss reasserts that it was her own decision to help, and we get a lovely moment of the team supporting her. 

I’d just like to point out though, this is all proof that Weiss would have been just fine if they’d sent her to Atlas. The fandom was up in arms over that suggestion, making wild claims about how Jacques would kidnap her or something, but this scene canonically undermines all of that. Turns out Jacques didn’t have spies everywhere, waiting to scoop Weiss up the moment she landed. However long the group has been hanging out in Atlas, he had no idea she was here until she was standing right in front of him (and even then it took him a long minute to realize...) Turns out Jacques can’t just do whatever he pleases with another human being just because he’s her father. In Ironwood’s presence, which Weiss would have ended up in if she’d flown with Cordovin’s blessing, Jacques can’t touch her. Hell, he can’t do anything even if Weiss was alone.  If Weiss is willing to dump racists in the trash with her semblance I think she’s gained enough confidence to do the same to Jacques if he dares try to hit her again. The moment the fandom went, ‘They clearly HAVE to steal military property/disable a CTV tower and risk this tenuous peace because poor Weiss would be done for if they just sent her to Atlas with an armed guard and a transformed Qrow and possibly Maria in a suitcase’ I was just, ‘... What?’ That was never a good justification and this scene just reinforces that.

The one (metaphorical) blow that Jacques manages to land is by telling Weiss how distraught her mother was when she left. I wonder if there’s any truth in that or if it’s pure manipulation. 

As he leaves Winter flies in, clearly avoiding her father. Weiss gets partway through calling her out on that before Penny lands in their midst. 

From here the episode really unravels. With the surprise half ruined, Ironwood takes the group up into the arena and presents them with their huntsmen licenses. Now, full disclosure. I said I wanted this back in the premiere. In fact, my exact words were,

“I don’t think the show would ever go for my suggestion of another school arc so they could finish their training, but at the very least we should provide some sort of loop-hole for these characters. Have Ironwood provide special licenses based on their heroics at the Fall of Beacon and their work since. Because right now we have a world that’s continually emphasizing being a huntsmen as a job, something you earn the right to call yourself, yet 95% of our group doesn’t have that right in the eyes of their society.”

And I still stand by that. In as much as I’m acknowledging that so long as the writing refuses to treat the group like the students they are, taking away that status is the next best thing. However, that was written before the story decided to re-emphasize precisely how not huntsmen-like the group is. Everyone remember that? It was a week ago, wherein the group was characterized like kids playing dress up, following the adults around, acknowledging that it feels like they’re real huntresses even though they’re not, and then they witnessed a fight that put their skills and maturity to shame. A part of me honestly is glad we’re not dealing with this as a moral issue anymore. The other part of me is going, “Really? You set up how the group is still a bunch of students and then turn around and give them licenses an episode later? Can we at least be consistent?”

It’s fine though. It’s done. Yay. They all have licenses. Even though they technically didn’t do the work required to obtain them. And they’re also still at least a year, probably two years, too young to have them. Considering that schools are a four year program. It’s fine. 

The group doesn’t even seem happy to have them though. In fact, they trivialize the moment. That word exactly: “It almost feels trivial now.” I don’t think RT intends for the characterization to come across this way but man does the group sound arrogant. Wow. We’ve been given a huge amount of power and privilege when we technically haven’t earned it, have actually done quite a lot lately that should have resulted in punishments over rewards, this is entirely out of the blue, something we’ve all wanted for most of our lives... so thanks, I guess? We’re feeling kind of iffy. Ruby at least makes some sort of comment about how Ironwood doesn’t need to do this, which just lets him re-assert that they all totally deserve it. Besides, he needs all the help he can get. Remember, we’re about to tell everyone about Salem!

Obviously no one pipes up during this speech. There aren’t even shared guilty looks. They’re just... letting their lie become a part of their ascent into full-fledged huntsmen. Oh boy.

Overall this party just feels depressing as hell to me. Yes, let’s celebrate in an empty, creepy arena that’s a traumatic space for literally everyone here. Made worse by the fact that no one acknowledges this. Once again Penny functions purely as comic relief. I thought that finally, finally we would get a conversation between her and Ruby. Hey, Penny! We’re taking selfies and eating cake in the very place where you were horrifically murdered! Maybe we should talk about that? 

Nope.

Instead we get a train wreck of a conversation between Qrow and Ruby. She brings up the fact that they’re all keeping secrets... and Qrow laughs.

The hypocrisy is really astounding here. Ozpin keeps a secret and gets punched into a tree, along with Oscar. Ruby keeps a secret and Qrow looks like he wants to ruffle her hair. She asks him if she’s just like Ozpin and he responds with, “Oz only trusted himself with the whole truth. You’re trusting others, just making sure they prove themselves first. I think that’s a pretty big difference.”

Okay. That’s one hell of a messy statement, but let’s take it at face value for a moment. So tell me, Ruby. Precisely what does Ironwood have to do to “prove himself” to you? How long do you feel you need to wait? One more mission? A dozen? A few weeks? Months? ...Years? There’s no surefire way for someone to prove that they’re trustworthy and if, after that person has already shared their own secret plan with you and continually treats you as an equal---please help me in this fight, feel free to talk back to me, here’s licenses so you’re legally a part of this team---you’re still iffy about their motivations... what more can they do? You might just keep waiting and waiting for some sort of sign, putting things off because telling them is so risky and you just want to be sure. You might even reach a point where you’ve known Ironwood for ages and you still haven’t told him because, well, you haven’t gotten that proof you were looking for yet. Especially if you were, say, in a time of peace where telling him only feels like a cruelty. Especially when you’ve been betrayed so many times before and are always fighting against those memories. Your little, ‘I’m just waiting until I know I can trust him’ could theoretically go on for decades because we can never absolutely know a person. Lionheart is proof of that. Ironwood might one day look to you and say, “How can you not trust me yet?” and you might respond with, “What have you done to prove to me, without a doubt, that I should?”

I’m reusing this: 

Ruby is in precisely the same position Ozpin was with his inner circle. Including Qrow. If Ruby is unsure that a military-minded, incredibly stressed man should have this information now, despite how trustworthy he might seem, why would Ozpin have been sure of that a year earlier? Ironwood was the same military-minded, stressed, seemingly trustful guy. If Ruby felt like she couldn’t rely on Qrow mere weeks (or even days) ago because he kept refusing to stay in contact (something that was established way back at Beacon. That’s not new) and falling into drunk, pessimistic stupors, why would Ozpin feel like he could rely on him in other ways? Especially when those “other ways,” telling them about Salem’s immortality, would lead to absolutely nothing good. Seriously. Has the group suddenly come up with a plan to defeat her, proving that Ozpin was wrong not to bring more creative minds into the fray? No. Has the group fallen apart for a long stretch and has only now made noises about moving forward for the sake of moving forward, something they’d already agreed to do as huntsmen fighting immortal grimm? Yes. All telling them about Salem did was make them more depressed and stressed, the two things that draw literal monsters to their door. That’s it. Their goals and motivations are precisely the same as when they started: keep fighting. Ironwood, on the other hand, has to know about Salem because his plan hinges on her mortality. Ozpin risked nothing by keeping this secret from the group. He arguably saved them a lot of grief. Ruby, on the other hand, risks countless lives and chaos across Remnant because she’s letting Ironwood inch closer and closer to telling the whole world, all in an effort to muster up an army that will accomplish nothing. 

Ruby is Ozpin in this scenario, but her secrets carry more weight than his ever did. This isn’t a group of teens feeling morally outraged that their leader told a lie; how dare you not tell us everything when we’re risking our lives... even though we’re always risking our lives and would continue to risk our lives whether you told us or not!  This is an incredibly powerful general about to change the shape of the entire world if he doesn’t learn the truth. The stakes are nowhere near comparable. Combine that with the fact that Ruby and her friends just finished taking the high road. That’s the kicker here. That Ruby doesn’t just admit, ‘Yeah... I’m like Oz. Because he was right. You do sometimes need to keep secrets and it is hard to trust people.’ No, no, no, they have to keep demonizing him. Ruby needs reassurance that she’s nothing like that evil secret keeper... even though we can all see she 100% is. She’s arguably worse now that she wants to play the victim to Ozpin’s secret keeping while simultaneously doing the exact same thing to Ironwood. She’s arguably worse since her secrets risks far more lives than Ozpin’s ever did. Where’s the fandom’s outrage over Ruby’s manipulation? Who���s punching her? When they bring up Summer, Ruby needs to characterize her death as “another Oz secret” wherein, like the fandom, she assumes he holds responsibility before there’s any proof of that. Even when Qrow admits that Ozpin has no more idea how Summer died than he and Tai do, he rescinds it! “But who knows what he may have hidden from us over the years.” Excuse me, but you all need to stop gearing up to assign blame without evidence, especially when you all are currently committing the exact same sins Ozpin did. We’ve been doing this since Volume 5:

Yang: I just learned that my uncle is the one who kept his semblance and bird transformations secret from me, but I’m going to blame Ozpin for it and demand “no more” lies. Even though up until now he’s never lied to us.

Qrow: I just admitted that your mother’s death is her own secret, but I’m going to subtly blame Ozpin for it anyway and remind you, as well as the audience, that he could be keeping an untold number of secrets from us. Truly a horrific thing when we, too, are keeping a bunch of secrets.

It’s also just a complete OOC moment that Qrow would be laughing about Ruby keeping secrets and hugging her as he tells her to press on while likewise maintaining his suspicion of Ozpin. Because Qrow’s whole beef with Ozpin is that he’s supposedly “wasted” his life while serving him. Everything he does is worthless because of Salem’s immortality. So if he’s now (randomly?) on team, ‘Do things because they’re right even if we can’t win in the end’... why is he still upset? If he can admit now that all this work---building new CTV towers and taking up everyday missions---is still super important, then why isn’t he thanking Ozpin? ‘Oh wow. I realize now how worthwhile this work is, regardless of whether Salem can be defeated. I guess I do owe you that gratitude for allowing me to do it all in the first place.’ Is no one ever going to acknowledge that Ozpin was right? About their work and about the need to keep secrets? You all are literally adopting his views, his mindset, and his choices. But nope. Nothing. It’s just an illogical mix of ‘Everything we believe is what Ozpin taught us’ with ‘But oh yeah screw that guy.’

The only reason Qrow is all buddy-buddy with Ruby’s secret keeping is because he’s in on the secret. Objectively speaking, if Qrow had a right to know about Salem’s immortality than so does Ironwood. They were both inner circle members. They both served Ozpin for (presumably) the same amount of time. With the exception of maybe hearing about the brother gods---and even then Qrow didn’t take that story literally---they seemed to have the same level of clearance. Ironwood has done just as much to “prove” his loyalty as Qrow ever did, but he doesn’t want to admit that telling someone this kind of horrific info is just plain hard. So Qrow, like the entirety of RWBYJNR, makes it about their own status as heroes, adopting a ‘we’re totally different’ mindset. I get to know about Salem’s immortality. Ironwood though? No, no, we’re justified in keeping it from him. People just aren’t allowed to keep things from us.

It started off with Yang’s ‘How dare you keep secrets only I’m allowed to do that’ nonsense and has now spread to the entire group. We had an entire volume of people verbally and physically assaulting Ozpin in the name of his lies. Now Ruby does the exact same thing and gets hugs and praise for it. I spoke too soon last episode. The hypocrisy is unreal.

I honestly didn’t think RWBY was still capable of frustrating me to this extent, but here we are.

Oh, and so long as we’re riding this frustration train... where is Oscar? 

He was not acknowledged once in this episode, let alone invited to the party. You know, the one that he could have really easily been flown in for now that the danger is gone. The one that Winter, Penny, Marrow, Elm and Vine all make an appearance at, but not the guy they’ve been traveling with and who is way more invested in his ‘friends’ getting their licenses than some random Ace Ops members. From here on out I’m officially calling BS on anyone who tries to justify the group/the writing excluding Oscar. There was no reason not to invite him to a planned celebration specifically designed to give this team, a team he’s a part of, a bit of downtime. Sorry you didn’t get an armor upgrade, or get to go on the mission, or get to attend the after party. Everyone just kind of forgot you exist or couldn’t be bothered to explain why you’re missing. RWBY really just doesn’t like him or Ozpin and boy, does it show. 

The remaining plot is minimal. The group pulls up a mission board and Jaune gets roped into escorting school children, a mission with absolutely “no danger” in it. So if we actually get to see him completing this, you know they’ll be danger. As they continue choosing their first jobs as huntsmen we return to Jacques, brooding in his office. Whitley makes a brief appearance to announce that Watts has barged his way into the manor. We learn that everyone apparently thinks Watts is dead---that helps explain why they’re still using his code. A dead guy  isn’t much of a threat---and Watts tells Jacques that he can help him regain his lost wealth, get a seat on the council, and screw over Ironwood. Through the pretty silly line of “Have your cake and eat it too.” I like that expression, but it’s hard to make it sound sufficiently threatening...

And that’s where we end! A rough ride this week, folks. Can’t complain about the break...

Until next time. 

Minor Things of Note

Watts’ comment about how Whitley is the spitting image of Jacques makes me think of cloning. Like, I don’t think the writing would actually go there, but it’s a potentially cool option. Evil billionaire with access to fantasy technology has two rebellious daughters before finally just cloning himself a ‘son’...

Where is Maria? What is she doing? Can we please stop abandoning important characters and then having the cast acting like they ceased to exist?

[basicsofislam]

ISLAM 101: Muslim Beliefs: Existence and Oneness of God Almighty: THE UNIVERSE AND GOD’S EXISTENCE

The existence of God is too evident to need any arguments. Some saintly scholars even have stated that God is more manifest than any other being, but that those who lack insight cannot see Him. Others have said that He is concealed from direct perception because of the intensity of His Self-manifestation.

However, the great influence of positivist and materialist schools of thought on science and on all people of recent centuries makes it necessary to discuss this most manifest truth. As this now-prevalent “scientific” world-view reduces existence to what can be perceived directly, it blinds itself to those invisible dimensions of existence that are far vaster than the visible.

Let us reflect on one simple historical fact: Since the beginning of human life, the overwhelming majority of humanity has believed that God exists. This belief alone is enough to establish God’s Existence. Those who do not believe cannot claim to be smarter than those who do. Among past and present-day believers are innovative scientists, scholars, researchers and, most importantly, saints and Prophets, who are the experts in the field. In addition, people usually confuse the non-acceptance of something’s existence with the acceptance of its non-existence. While the former is only a negation or a rejection, the latter is a judgment that requires proof. No one has ever proven God’s non-existence, for to do so is impossible, whereas countless arguments prove His existence. This point may be clarified through the following comparison.

Suppose there is a large palace with 1,000 entrances, 999 of which are open and one which appears to be closed. No one could reasonably claim that the palace cannot be entered. Unbelievers are like those who, in order to assert that the palace cannot be entered, confine their (and others’) attention only to the door that is seemingly closed. The doors to God’s existence are open to everybody, provided that they sincerely intend to enter through them.

The most important factor leading many, especially those under the spell of materialistic science and its worldview, to fix their eyes on the apparently closed door is causality. Causality leads to the vicious chain of cause and effect, for each cause is also an effect. Moreover, the effect is totally different from the cause. All things and effects are usually so full of art and beneficial purposes that even if all causes gathered they would be unable to produce one single thing, let alone their simple immediate causes.

In order for a cause to produce an effect, it has to be able to produce the whole universe in which that effect takes place, for that effect cannot exist without the whole universe. Nor can they exist separately. Materialist scientists imagine powerless, dependent, and ignorant causes to be responsible for the existence of beings and things, and thus fancy them to possess absolute qualities. In this way they are implying (tacitly believing) that each of those causes possesses qualities that only can be attributed to God.

However, the latest discoveries of modern science, like the universe’s unity and its parts’ inseparability, exclude the possibility of all the explanations put forward by materialistic science. They demonstrate that all entities, whether in nature or in the laws and causes attributed to them, are devoid of power and knowledge. They are contingent, transient, and dependent beings. But the properties attributed to any of these entities need infinite qualities like absolute power and knowledge.

This shows that causality is by no means necessarily linked with “objective” study or “neutral” scientific investigation. It is no more than a personal opinion. Moreover, it is an opinion that is irrational and devoid of sense.

When we study the universe, we see that all beings utterly refute the false claims of materialist and atheistic reasoning through their order, mutual relationship, and duties. They affirm that they are nothing but the property and creatures of a Single Creator. Each rejects the false notions of chance and causality, ascribes all other beings to its own Creator, and proves that the Creator has no partners. Indeed, when the Creator’s Unity is known and understood correctly, it becomes clear that nothing requires that causes should possess any power. Thus they cannot be partners to the Creator, for it is impossible for them to be so.

The universe is a document for believers to use. The Qur’an informs us that believing in God is to assent with one’s heart to the Creator with all His Attributes supported by the universe’s testimony. The true affirmation of God’s Unity is a judgment, a confirmation, an assent, and an acceptance that can find its Owner present with all things. It sees in all things a path leading to its Owner, and regards nothing as an obstacle to His Presence. If this were not the case, it would be necessary to tear and cast aside the universe in order to find Him, which is impossible for us.

The universe has been made in the form of an intelligible book so as to make known its Author. The book, which addresses humanity, seeks to make humanity read the book and its parts, and respond with worship and thanks to its Author’s will. Humanity attains to that worship by uncovering the order in the Book of the Universe through scientific study and displaying the functioning of the universe’s beings and workings.

The universe is not passive or neutral. We cannot interpret it as we wish, for there is only one correct way of looking at the world, one universal world-view common to all humanity. This view is taught to us in the Qur’an as well as in the Book of the Universe by our Creator. This means that the Qur’anic world-view recognizes that the perception of the world differs relatively from one person to another. It allows for plurality within unity so that a universal dialogue is possible. This world-view contains no fragmentation or conflict, only harmony, assistance, peace, and compassion.

The materialist scientific world-view is based on radical fragmentation, for it views nature as a mechanism with no inherent value and meaning. It isolates an object by cutting off its connections with the rest of the world, and studies it within its immediate environment.

But our perception of ourselves tells us that we are meaningful and part of the whole universe, and that everything must have a meaning and be part of the universe. Materialist science has left the subject—humanity—out of the universe and, insofar as this science is taking over, people feel that they have no place in this world. Thus they are isolated and live lives without meaning, except in a very limited, egoistic sense. People are alienated from their environment and from themselves.

The universe is an inseparable whole. Indeed, the unity observed in its totality, including humanity, is so clear that no one can deny it. Thus the materialistic approach to the scientific method has to be reconsidered. This method is reductionist, for it reduces everything to fragments and then attributes each fragment to causes. But in reality, all things are interconnected and interdependent, for it is impossible to attribute anything, however small, to causes that are themselves transient and contingent. Since whatever is responsible for one thing must be responsible for everything, we cannot have one thing without the whole.

Why can we ascribe a thing to its antecedents in time but not to its neighbors in space? Why should a thing be able to produce another thing just because it happened before? All modern scientists know that space and time are fully equivalent and unified into a four-dimensional continuum in which both “here” and “there” and “before” and “after” are relative. In this four-dimensional space, the temporal sequence is converted into a simultaneous co-existence, the side-by-side existence of all things. Thus causality appears to be an idea limited to a prejudiced experience of the world.

Causality does have some meaning. Opposites are mingled in this world: truth with falsehood, light with darkness, good with evil, white with black, and so on. Since people have ingrained inclinations toward both good and evil, they are tested in this world to determine whether they will use their free will and other faculties in the way of truth and good or otherwise

Divine Wisdom requires that the veil of causes and laws be drawn before Divine Power’s operations. If God had willed, He could train the planets with His “Hands” in a way observable by us or let visible angels administer them. Then we would not be speaking of the laws of causes involved, such as gravitation. Or, in order to communicate His Commandments, God could speak to each person directly without sending any Prophets, or could write His Name with stars in the sky in order to compel us to believe in His Existence and Oneness. But in this case, humanity’s earthly existence would not be an arena of trial that pushes us to new developments and discoveries in science and technology, thereby enabling us to remove one veil more from the meaning of existence.

Like a mirror’s two sides, existence has two aspects or dimensions: one visible and material, known as the Realm of Opposites and (in most cases) Imperfections, and the transparent, pure, and perfect spiritual realm. The material dimension must—and does—contain events and phenomena that appear disagreeable to us. Those who cannot perceive the Divine Wisdom behind all things may even criticize the Almighty for those disagreeable events and phenomena. To prevent that, God uses natural laws and causes to veil His acts. For example, so that we do not criticize God or His Angel of Death for the loss of our beloved ones or our own death, God places diseases and natural disasters (among other “agents” or “causes”) between Himself and death.

On account of this world of testing and trial’s essential imperfection, we encounter and suffer from many deficiencies and shortcomings. In absolute terms, every event and phenomenon is good and beautiful in itself or in its consequences. Whatever God does or decrees is good, beautiful, and just. Injustice, ugliness, and evil are only apparent or superficial and arise from humanity’s errors and abuses. For example, although a court may pass an unjust sentence on you, you should know that Destiny permits that judgment because of a crime that you are hiding. Whatever befalls us is usually the result of self-wronging, an evil that we ourselves have done. However, those who lack the necessary sound reasoning and judgment to understand the Divine Wisdom behind events and phenomena may impute directly to God the apparent ugliness or evil, imperfections and shortcomings, experienced in worldly life, even though God is absolutely free of any defect or imperfection.

Therefore, so that people do not ascribe any ugliness or evil to God, His Glory and Grandeur require that natural causes and laws be a veil before His acts, while belief in His Unity demands that those causes and laws should not be ascribed to any kind of creative power.

If God Almighty acted in the world directly, and not through causes and laws, we would be unable to develop scientific knowledge or live even an instant of a happy life free of fear and anxiety. We can observe and study patterns in phenomena thanks to God’s acting from behind natural causes and laws. Otherwise, each event would be a miracle. The regularity within the flux and mutability of events and phenomena makes them comprehensible to us, and so awakens within us the desire to wonder and reflect, which is a principal factor in establishing science. For the same reason, we are able to plan and arrange our future affairs to some degree. Just consider how life would be if we did not know whether the sun would rise tomorrow!

Whoever owns such attributes as beauty and perfection desires to know them and make them known. God owns absolute beauty and perfection and is independent of all things. He also owns a holy, transcendent love and thus a sacred desire to display His Beauty and Perfection. If He showed His Names and Attributes directly, without the “medium” of causes and laws, we could not endure them. He manifests them as he does and by degrees within the confines of time and space so that we can connect with them, reflect on them, and perceive them. The gradual manifestation of Divine Names and Attributes is also a reason for our curiosity and wonder about them.

[rueitae]

Hi, I'm the same person who asked about angst. XD I guess the kind of fics I enjoy the most are ones that have "kidnapping/rescue" angst. There are already hundreds of these with Lance, but I'm looking for more of these kinds of fics that feature Pidge as the one in distress. Maybe I've already read all of them, I dunno, but I was hoping maybe you could give me something new to be invested in. Thank you for responding and helping me out.

Sorry for the late response. Your question inspired me to dig deep into Ao3 to see if I could find even more of these than what I’d already bookmarked. I’m still only halfway through the Pidge tag (excluding as many irrelevant ships as I could) so this is by no means complete, but I hope you’ll find something you might not have read yet!

This is a list of fics in which Pidge is in peril. I’ve sorted them by romantic and platonic as well as a few that you’ll have to be mindful of the tags for at the very end. To narrow the focus a bit, I tried to make sure Pidge was the main or one of the main POV. This isn’t an all encompassing list. I’m sure there are some I’m missing. (If i’m missing one of your favs please tell me because I want to read it, I also just might have had a brain fart about it because I’ve been staring at the computer screen for too long)

With any rec list, I encourage you to leave a thoughtful comment for the writers if you enjoyed it! I know from experience they would be over the moon about it, and it encourages the creative process for all of us. If I know their tumblr, I’ve provided that as well! (i’m so sorry if I missed someone)

Full list under the cut.

Gen Fic (no romantic ships)

The Times They Remembered Pidge Was A Girl: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10876368

Most of the chapters are separate stories, but one of the first ones includes some captured Pidge.

Each a Perfect Porcelain Doll: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12114117

The entire premise is Pidge needing to pretend to be Allura for a night. Needless to say, the kidnappers get the wrong person.

The Smallest of These: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11476389/chapters/25734882

Pidge is the target of a number of assassinations and kidnappings, of which her Paladin family takes the hit for her. It culminates in BAMF Pidge doing the saving in return. Really cool storytelling stuff with the POV.

Triumph or Death: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12123813

A Haxus survives the fall fic, and the repercussions.

Loss of Green: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14162199/chapters/32643132

A what if Lance didn’t wake from the coma to shoot Sendak.

The Cost of Winning: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13975314

Pidge and Lance must protect each other in the Galra arena. This and the next three (and another towards the end) are courtesy of @icypantherwrites

Inches from Death: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16789768

Both are captured, Lance is dying.

Once More Time, With Feeling: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15625668/chapters/37457147

Alone, captured, shock collar.

Rubbed Raw: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15625668/chapters/38547500

Pidge reflects on her capture and rescue. Muzzle

Strength of the Small: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9102247

They all get captured but its Pidge centric and she has to earn their freedom.

Take Me Away: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14018982/chapters/32285463

Pidge bonds with Green while in captivity.

Deep Dark Sea: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17780633

Pidge torture plus rescue. Waterboarding, canon verse. This and the next are thanks to @bearly-writing

Reach for the Sky: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18760165

Standing cuffs, canon verse.

Hold a Grudge: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19788481

Pidge faces the bounty hunter after her brother with the other watching helplessly.

Caged: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18866572

Trapped in a room, psychological

Waiting: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18499240

Feet smashed

Leave them all alone: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16972431

Sendak revenge, team watches. Begging, amputation

Kidnapped: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17072084

Tied to a chair

You belong to me now: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17083700

Haggar tortures Pidge

Shopping for Disaster: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13164879

Pidge and Allura teamup! A shopping trip turns into a mission fic. First of many from @sp4c3-0ddity (including the first several in the plance section)

Loose Thread: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18923749

Can only move eyes, fantasy AU

Romantic Plance

Say the word, i’m yours: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18910828

Fantasy au, Pidge and Lance are on opposite sides of a conflict. Childhood friends trope too.

Another vampire romance: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18324023

Pidge is surrounded by vampires. One of them is Lance

The mercenary and the witch: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18263786

Fantasy au, Lance is undercover with Sendak’s mercenaries when Pidge is captured. 

Burial rites: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18080018

Assassin au, Pidge is caught. 

Seize your happy ending: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17575022

Reads like a fairy tale. Lance seeks to free Pidge after befriending her as children as he learns about her situation. 

Dueling Hearts: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16760344

Canon verse. Pidge catches the attention of a local ruler in talks to join the Coalition. 

Tidal Lockdown: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14801036

Canon verse mission fic gone wrong. 

Fakeout: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13558341

Canon verse. A diplomacy mission goes south quick when Lance and Pidge overhear something they shouldn’t. (and its a good thing they do)

Connections: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15686142

An Altean Pidge AU! Begins with her being captured and eventual meet up with the team. By @canadiantardis

The Fall: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16114103

A star wars AU! Jedi Knights Pidge and Lance are expected when they infiltrate Lotor’s ship…

All i love so dearly: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15715107

Pidge turns up suddenly after being missing for two weeks and she has no memory of what happened to her. She finds out she’s pregnant. First fic of the series is putting together the pieces of what happened and the second is some additional emotional healing. By @deadlydeviant

Defenders of Aurita: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15169268

Monsters and Mana. Dragons. Lots of whump. Plenty of scenes of duress. by @anchoredtetherart

The Cat and His Rat: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19871425

Monsters and Mana verse! Meklavar finds herself in a very bad spot right off the bat. By @starsonthursday

Where Sapphire Roses Grow: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19701508

You’ll want to keep an eye on this one since it’s a Beauty and the Beast AU.

The Boy Who waited: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19948924

A Doctor Who AU in which Pidge and Lance have Amy and Rory’s roles. By @cgf-kat

Harvest in Fire: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17806424

Whipping, s7 ish. 

Worth It: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15808878

An extension of the ‘Don’t you touch her’ scene.

Colors: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17966018

Everyone is in trouble, Pidge centric. Everyone has different powers/abilities that the government is trying to keep in check. The group is on the run to stay free. By @mistyhollowpro

Stronger with you: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17588981

mafia/assassin au. Directly after Lance saves Pidge, deals with tending her wounds and also trying to mend their emotional bond after being apart for a while. By @alwaysinsonder

Other Ships

The Boxer: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12309138

Lance only makes a cameo appearance (Hunk gets to be the main Paladin support friend) and the pairing itself is different shades of Lotor/Pidge. Starts with Pidge’s capture and there’s some great mind games going on. Enemies to reluctant partners to maybe friends to something that they don’t really define. Some great BAMF Pidge action and excellent story. Kind of related is their Space Mall shenanigans story:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12308814

feels like one of those classic cartoon chases and is also an excellent read, as are the other two one shots.

Mind the Tags

Kairos: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17914550/chapters/42296588

Pidge has been missing for six years when the Paladins find her again… with a kid. Mind the tags for the implications.

Trapped: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20219836

Momentarily caught during a mission, healing after. Mind tags. 

Remorse is a Dish Best Served Never: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14484018

The most recent one I’ve read! Mind the tags for this one and read the chapter one summary for additional information. Warnings are always given at the start of each chapter. Haxus and Sendak are successful and take Pidge, Lance, and Shiro to central command… where they spend the next three or so years. Every time you think its getting better for Pidge it gets ten times worse for her. 

Finding the Light: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1417435

Mind the tags. Post sexual assault recovery

[ts-2020-olympics]

EPISODE 4 - "Tribe Swap and TBH This Couldn’t Have Gone Any Better” - Pete

Tribe swap anyone? So right off the bat, I see that Jacob C. is the tribe captain. I immediately go to him and ask him to pick me for his tribe, so that I can pick Sammy and Sammy can pick Kevin and Kevin can pick a newbie and that newbie will pick a newbie and then that newbie will pick a newbie. GUESS WHAT? It worked!!! We did exactly that, and with all of us working together to build the tribe I think I realized I can trust them for now. I still know that Sammy has an idol, and so that’s useful information. Eventually we are gonna need to get him to drain it but I think maybe it’s gone now, if he could only use it for a few rounds. That’s also probably just what he wants us to think. I also hit a bump in the road with the information I’m holding. I’m trying to play this game very game-focused and not my usual hehe social game is gonna get me there way, even though in this cast...they really don’t care so maybe social would be the way to approach it. Either way, I ended up telling Kevin what I said about Beck in my last video confessional (I know you didn’t watch it so I’ll summarize; beck wanted to exclude kevin from an alliance that was Kevin’s idea). My only regret is that it might have been too soon to plant any seeds of doubt with Kevin about Beck, and that I might be getting played by both of them. But, on the other hand maybe it was the perfect time? We are going to merge....a long time from now. Like a super super long time from now. But, I don’t know I think telling him initiates a trust between us that I don’t have with the other people in this game. I’d really like to go to the end with Jacob C and maybe a random newbie. It just feels so far out of reach at this point, theres literally like...at least 7 more premerge boots and I really hate that. I despise big casts, and especially with this twist because there’s so much time in the middle of the round where everyone is just kind of like...sitting. And I don’t do well in those types of situations. So, it’s feeling bleak right now BUT if I do make it to merge, I’ll be very happy and then if I do make it to FTC I’ll be very happy and then if I don’t win, that’s to be expected and the usual state of what happens.

This tribe has my 2 "enemies". I don't trust either, I just tried to vote out Billy again too so that's cool. I'm going to go ahead and make friends with Jordan and stoner since they are loners, and we just need one more on top of that to make a new happy family. The thing with voting me out is, when you get me going, I will demolish the game, and given I'm a lot more comfortable in a tribe of 7, it shouldn't be that hard. Taking full control premerge is one of my favorite things to do, but you need a clear cut enemy to do it effectively. I have that enemy, no one else does. Let's see what we can do here.

Alright, so here's the ordeal.   First off, Bailey got medically evacuated due to getting three strikes (which might have stated this already in past confessional, but whatever,)  and secondly, Will lost out at arena, also getting the eliminated slot.   That left 21 people, and as my suspicions were, I expected a swap to occur, and that one did.   Went in expecting probably wouldn't be one of the first round picks, but ended up getting picked on tribe quicker than I anticipated.   Anyways, I am now on a tribe with Beck, Ben, Caeleb, Juls, Karen and Tommy.   I just couldn't be more happier to be with more active people on a tribe, instead of there just being myself and two others active on my original tribe.   Now, time to hope this new tribe can end the Yushu losing streak and come out as the sole immunity winner with today's challenge.   Then, finally, in regards to the Olympic Village, four times now where I have found nothing, but I went down each end of the village, so I at least now have some sort of insight to all the paths I can take in future village searching rounds.

HELL FUCKIN YEEAAAHH TRIBE SWAP!! and tbh this couldn’t have gone any better I think. I’ve got jacob c, eve, and sammy here and if we all vote together then that’s enough to be safe. I’m also maybe forming a bond with Landen cus they seem pretty cool and maybe I might be able to land a good social position in this tribe??? Hopefully someone secretly hates somebody so i can jump on that shit to keep me safe

okay so i’m sucking ass at this maverick bird game and i’ve only really performed well in one challenge ever so i’m in danger girls. everyone else here is used to challenges and have all this experience and then there’s my dumbass who has no fuckin clue what he’s doing. i could easily be first out this tribe tonight if no one wants to rock the boat and they all just vote based off challenge strength

I hate this challenge and I hate these flash games. That is all. 🙃

so i'm gonna try to keep this short because i have lots of writing to do for a history class, but basically, i've been praying for a swap to get away from the disaster that was sonkei, and last night, i finally got my wish! I wish we had gotten a break day to talk to everyone, because those are always nice when you swap, but i think i'll be able to do fine without it. my tribe breakdown could NOT have gone better! though i didn't end up with anybody i knew particularly well, i ended up with some people i've been talking to AND getting along with. Sammy is someone i love and someone i'm even buying a shirt from lol, nothing to do with the game he just told me about some of his graphic design work and i saw his shirts and i was like... let me buy it. Jacob, i love and we have very similar music taste. Then Nicole i've chatted with a bit, we're not close or anything but i like her! Pete, Eve, and Kevin were all entirely new. I think there's a lot of potential with pete, we've already bonded over crazy people in past games and our anxiety in games. whereas with eve things started off on an... AWKWARD foot, and with kevin, well i just suck at convo and he's not great either. some people are soooo dry and i just don't get it and as far as that goes i'm honestly struggling with some of these conversations like how r ppl so dry... but that being said i get along with everyone on this team and i think it's a really strong team, so i'm hoping that when results come out in like 15 minutes, i'm not proven wrong and we win! i tried really hard on the challenge and while i like everyone on the team (Jacob/Sammy specifically may be very useful as i'm also close with caeleb and they're working together.. Could be a good lil alliance type thing, potentially. I dunno.) i'm not 100% sure how safe i will be at tribal and really i just really, REALLY want a break from tribal. i'm very much #OverIt, and at this rate i genuinely might turn into Denise like Caeleb was joking about. I'm just sick of tribal council at this rate and I really don't want to go again, the arena makes these dynamics impossible and if I'm going to keep going I'm gonna have to keep managing everyone that goes there and back too.... OH BOOM RESULTS CAME OUT DURING TRIBAL AND WE WON! Thank FUCK. But the rest of that still stands about the confusing dynamics, how things are everchanging, and how avoiding tribal... I'm happy about it and hopefully I can continue to do it? I also need to talk things over with Billy, smooth over that dynamic and get him knowing I really do want him till the FINALS. I need him to trust me and the last tribal did not work for that. So it's go time. Thanks for helping me out, Miraitowa, my bomb af run begins now.

New Yushu, new us! Honestly, I'm really pleased with the tribe, but it sucks to see one of our own go. I have to, with a heavy heart, vote for Karen to go to arena. If all goes well, and I hope it will, they'll bring home the gold for us. :) 

wooooooo i'm nervous about tribal! unfortunately tribe yushu cannot catch a break even with new tribe members. voting out karen is best for my game but i'm afraid that me pushing for them to leave shows my cards a little too much and i fear that if we go to another tribal next round i'm gonna be in a bad position. i'll do what i can to maintain the connections i have rn and hopefully keep my life in this game going!! on that note. anxiety might kill me

Well I'm so MAD I LOST THE ARENA, I WAS IN LAST PLACE LAST PLACE! Then all of a sudden I take off and I literally was in first by 10 minutes and I get STUCK on the LAST CLUE and everyone else passes me and beats me. Which leaves me with no medal. Maybe this will lower my threat level because I keep flopping in all the comps but I literally have been trying to win these challenges and I just suck. However, I did make a key social connection with Beck during my time at the arena and I think this could be a good connection for my game. Then the swap comes and I'm like :V and I start messaging Beck because it's schoolyard pick and he messages me and says "If I pick you, will you pick someone I want?" and of course in my head I'm like "Well no duh I want to be in the majority" so I agree and he says "Darcy" so I know he has a tight bond with Darcy so whichever way Beck votes Darcy may follow. Then Darcy chooses Caeleb which I thought was a bit random but maybe they had talked a little and without any hesitation Caeleb chooses Juls *side eye emoji*. Juls I get a read that she is someone who is super dangerous. She's extremely likeable and has made no enemies despite going to tribal 3 times and everytime the person voted out came back. I think she may even be my biggest threat on this tribe. I don't necessarily know if she'll come for me but I don't want to find out. Then Juls talks about bringing Landen aka her partner in crime and in my head I'm like "Please god don't let Landen on this tribe." Thankfully the tribe right before it got to us picked him and she picked Ben because we wanted challenge strength and then Ben randomly chooses Karen aka the person who I wanted out first if Shosha ever want to tribal council and who has bombed most of the challenges this season. Then to make matters worse we BOMB this Immunity, I think these OG Blue people are cursed because they have been going to tribal every round besides the first round of the game. So now my closest ally in the game on my tribe is Beck. We call and Beck tells me about the dynamic how him and Juls know each other and he backstabbed her and he thinks she may want revenge. However, I believe they are about to host an ORG together so it's going to be really hard to convince him to turn on her because then she might say something if she's voted out because they will be hosting together. At the point I was at I was fine with Karen going home over Juls first because Ben said "Let's go for Juls." Then the targets ended up switching around and now everyone wants Karen, which I was still fine with until I get a message maybe an hour later from Karen saying "I really think we should stick together." and then I'm like well I guess this means if Karen stays I'm her #1 and that's very important on a tribe that'll only get smaller, so now I don't want Karen to go home but her odds are looking so narrow that she avoids the arena. However, I think she can pull out a Gold Medal and if she does leave I hope she does come back. I kinda view the tribe as there's the three of the OG Blues (Ben, Darcy, and Beck), the duo of Juls and Caeleb, and the sorta a duo of myself and Karen but nobody really sees us as a duo. Then Juls and Beck have a strong connection, Me and Beck have a strong connection, and Beck and Darcy have a strong connection. Beck has already voiced to me about blindsiding Ben, who I don't know if I can trust but at this point I'm not against it but I rather see Juls go, she's a way bigger threat and I don't think she will return with a gold and it causes tensions if she does return between Beck and Juls and it's off of me. My plan is to just keep Beck as close as I can I need to be his #1, I'll even take a close #2. This way I'm able to secure my safety in the tribe. I'm also trying to get closer to Caeleb in the route we end up going for Juls next and she doesn't come back I think I may be able to scoop him up as a number for me while being on this tribe and developing a bond that can last a while. Ideally Juls leaves tonight however, it'll sadly be Karen with that being said my perfect scenario is Karen wins the gold medal comes back, if we go to tribal again we meaning (myself, darcy, ben, and beck possibly karen) blindside Juls/Caeleb sending Juls home and she looses in the arena, I scoop up Caeleb, keep Karen close, Beck close, and then go for a blindside against Ben using (myself, karen, beck, and caeleb) even if Ben returns I think he'll feel most betrayed by Beck, and keep my options open from there. This way I'll start taking out people I feel like are dangerous that won't be targeted and I make my threat level smaller while creating strong bonds with people, and have other people be mad at each other. Hopefully all of this while we win a few immunities so that we aren't completely decimated by the time we get to a swap.  

This swap is good, I either wanted Billy or Nik out and that seems to be happening. Nik and Sarah aren't talking to me. I'm immune. Y'all confusing

Pretty sure I sent in confessional already this round, but why not, let's send another.  I don't got too much to add since my past confessional, but my tribe lost immunity.   Seeming like the vote is going to be Karen, but who knows, could be me, or could be someone else, I am not fully certain how this vote will end up playing out.

i love my new tribe with my whole entire heart!! sm i going to tribal again? maybe so. HOWEVER, they’re all angels and i can’t wait to continue to work with them 

hello i'm retracting my previous confessional bc now i actually have a reason to vote out someone who isn't karen. the vote is flipping on ben which i'm okay with because apparently he did something that upset caeleb and i want everybody to be comfortable playing this game. so hey, at least i know i'm safe tonight

😖😖😖😠😠😠😭😭😭😭😵😵😵🤫🤫🤫🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

Anyway so my UTR game is over and now it’s time to make a confessional! We’ve swapped tribes or whatever and of course I get swapped onto a tribe without nicole or Kevin so basically my back is against the wall /:. Anyway so I have tommy, juls, caeleb, Ben, becks and Darcy on my tribe now and they all suck at challenges apparently sjdbdjdndj like I didn’t do well on immunity but I didn’t even try which in retrospect wasn’t a good idea because now these freaks are targeting me as the weakest. So Ben and becks last night were basically like yeah we’re probably voting for you /: like first of all....fuck u, the only reason you tell me that is because you don’t think I have a chance to save myself, I don’t want your stupid pity confession, at least TRY to strategize with me. It took everything in me not to snap at them, I mean I kinda went off on becks but w/e they can’t be so naive. Anyway so I was talking to nicole and Kevin trying to save my ass and we figured out that I would have majority if I got me & tommy and the two people who were on other tribe so that was my mission for today. I think I talked enough with both caeleb and juls to convince them to work with tommy and I but I’m also a little weary /: I can’t be too sure and that scares me so anyway I’m gonna look for an idol hopefully I find something and hopefully no one is playing my ass right now or else it’s GG to me /: also becks is on board with voting Ben which like yikes if Ben finds out lol. Ben messaged me recently so I need to deal with that because I assume someone told him something ugh why do these newbies suck ):

Sooooooo I really need to keep my mouth shut sometimes. I didn't want Nik or I to go so I thought that we could avoid it, however chris didn't wanna swap. This really sucks because I didn't want Nik to go but I didn't make any effort to try and save him, which is odd for me. Had Chris and I voted out Sarah, it would've been fine. However, I'm now probably gonna be the biggest target in this tribe. BRING IT BITCHES I'M READY.

Maybe I should watch more of the actual Survivor show, but I'm now fully realizing that how well someone plays the game does not directly correlate to them winning...it's all politics and drama 🙃 

These people are literally insane. This is hilarious. I'm still on thin ice but this position is a lot better than my last one. Billy sucks. Common theme. Nik showed up at the live tribal but not to anyone's dms.

After seeing the MESSY ass tribal Sonkei just had, AGAIN, I am so glad I finally got the fuck off that tribe and onto a new one. The curse of Suckei really does exist, it's an absolute trainwreck tribe... That being said I had to laugh, and it might go down as one of the best tribes in history. Those iconic trainwrecky Survivor tribes are just.. ugh. That being said, I am SO SICK OF EMMA SURVIVING. PLEASE KICK HER ASS THE FUCK OUT OF THE GAME LIKE I HATE HER! ......Okay moving on from that outburst :) One thing this does remind me of though, is that I need to become more active in my pursuit to understand dynamics. I kinda wanted to take a step back and just observe during the swap, because usually I overplay out. And here, I just want to chill, and let people kind of forget that I ran shit on Original Sonkei. Forget that I was the leader there, who dominated everything with an iron fist (even if sometimes accidentally... Trainwreck vibes!) and just think of me as a cute derpy 16 yr old player again. That was my plan, but I'm starting to get nervous. This late in the game and I'm still in no official alliance chats, I may be losing Billy, and i'm ANXIOUS about the future. I definitely need to work harder on things moving forward, so that's exactly what I'm going to do.

IM READY TO KILL STONER AND DARCY AND BEN AND EVERYONE IN THAT ARENA EXCEPT NIK FUCK THAT TRIBE THAT VOTED HIM OUT AND FUCK THAT ARENA FUCK EVERYBODY I DONT EVEN REMEMBER WHAT TRIBE HES FROM BUT WHATEVER ITS LATE AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO SLEEP EARLIER AND NOW IMMA BE REALLY SLEEPY FOR MY ANNOYING ASS JOB THAT I KEEP DOING OVERTIME FOR CUS MY SHITTY ASS COWORKERS KEEP LEAVING EARLY I GOT OFF TOPIC ANYWAYS FUCK ARENA AND FUCK THE WINNERS AND FUCK THE RETURNEES AND FUCK SONKEI AND FUCK YUSHU FUCKIN DISCOUNT WANNABE YUJO BITCHES OKAY EVE SARAH AND I WILL GET YOUR ASSES 

psa krispy kreme is evil like they have bullshit random ass “deals” like 8 days a week for NO REASON like this one time it was New Year’s Eve so duh it’ll already be busy but corporate decided hey let’s do an annoying ass BOGO for $2 deal to torture our retail workers and I was working fucking drive thru that day and lemme tell you there have been very few times my patience and emotional strength have been toyed with by the force of god and i sure as hell wasnt prepared to have it at fucking 8 in the fucking morning i was so tempted to just tell every customer we make our donuts with bleach and orphan meat. it’s fucking 1 AM and i told myself i’d sleep at like 8 or 9 like a responsible adult but nooOOOOoo i just HAD to forget to eat so i have to make food and eat it so now i’m at midnight and gotta do this challenge or whatever so now i have fuckin 5 hours for my ugly ass to get enough beauty rest to be a lovely customer service representative of Krispy Kreme Enterprises™ and i’m gonna hate waking up i’m dreading it i have so much to do. i got off topic but yeah fuck arena fuck everyone in this game go eat a dick i’m upset and idk what else to say i ran out of angry words fuck that challenge and fuck billy dude why is he still here fuck the fuckin olympics nobody benefits from them except the greedy billionaires at the top like not even the athletes benefit that much they still gotta work average jobs like the rest of us like i always though olympic athletes were rich and shit but no they get screwed over royally and the places that host the olympics get shit on horribly it’s just an all around awful event doing nothing but spreading blind nationalism which is dangerous fuck america dude america’s a piece of shit and i’m allowed to say that i’m from florida fuck you anyways i’m tired bye fuck this  

and fuckin who the fuck is ben dude like no Nik was robbed bring Nik back fuckin ben from fuckin wannabe yujo tribe didn’t he go in a unanimous vote yikes also shoutout to whatever dumbass cancelled his vote that was a waste like why didn’t you save that shit dude fuck arena btw and fuck sonkei lmao loser ass tribe go win a challenge or something wow people are really gonna hate me when then airs but oh well i’m venting i’m at a breaking point and i don’t wanna fuckin go to work dude fuck fuckin yushu and fuck sonkei just throw the whole tribe away it’s Yujo final 3 bitches and fuck everybody else 

literally like i was added and my phone was still loading ALL the messages from all that fucking lag and already they started the round before i knew what was going on so i was just blind going in so fuckin stoner ass weee bitch got it when i wasn’t even there like ooh you won a challenge against nobody go fuck yourself by the time i could see the messages it was already over and they were like “sns you were here :/// go die i guess lmao loser” so yeah i’m a lil heated and it’s fucking 1:30 i can only get 3 and a half hours of sleep fuck this 

okay now it’s real strategy time. Nik just got robbed and I found out from Sarah that Billy’s leading the new Sonkei and wants her out next. Okay first off how the hell was he not voted out for not even doing the challenge? Second, if he’s targeting Yujo’s then he’s officially made the biggest mistake in the game. Eve and I are now on a mission to lead the Sonkei tribe to get rid of Billy as he should’ve been day 1. I think I can maybe convince Jordan and Chris, we just need 3 to have a chance. 

After swap 1

After nik got voted out

after winning arena

I’m fucking tireddddddd of going to tribal this game is not shaking out how I want it to. 

TRIBE SWAP BLESS THE TRIBE SWAP! i did truly like caeleb sammy and jacob a lot as people but like I was so going home if we lost its crazy. Now hopefully I can work with them without such tight a line keeping us together. ANYWAYS! we swap and I am in a fantastic position, i basically just took over tribe in terms of power. First thing i do is allign with stoner which is so funny to me. I realized hes someone whose general clout in the community is more disliked than me, so maybe i can make him my goat. I wonder if hes thinking the same about me. I wanted to work with billy but that guy is crazy like and that would be fine, if he was just normal crazy, but hes also the type of crazy thats like flip a vote at tribal for no reason and like I cant deal with that. I thought he had potnetial for a jordan pines minion, but sadly I think he might have to go. Anyways we lose teh challenge and em wants to target nik, em is somoene i super vibe with tbh so we get on board. HOwever she doesnt watn to tell sarah and im like OPPORTUNITY. I have had some great bonding with Sarah and think I have secured her loyaly to myself. I let her know about nik and got her to play dumb while still keeping her in the know. Now i think shes really loyal to me So after all that heres where stand. i have a 4 person alliance with me Stoner Em and Jacob which will likely take out billy if we lose again.the plan is the use sarah as a fifth on the side but my plan is a lil different. I want to keep sarah as tight to me as possible and when the time comes to take her out, do what I got to do to keep the people I think will progress me furthest in teh game. I don't think I am in danger of going this tribe swap so I need to use this opportunity to make sure I am okay for whatever comes after it.

[johnnymundano]

Four Flies on Grey Velvet (1971) (AKA 4 mosche di velluto grigio)

Directed by Dario Argento

Screenplay by Dario Argento

Story by Dario Argento and Luigi Cozzi

Music by Ennio Morricone

Country: Italy

Running Time: 104 minutes

CAST

Michael Brandon as Roberto Tobias

Mimsy Farmer as Nina Tobias

Jean-Pierre Marielle as Gianni Arrosio

Bud Spencer as Godfrey

Aldo Bufi Landi as Pathologist

Calisto Calisti as Carlo Marosi

Marisa Fabbri as Amelia, the Maid

Oreste Lionello as The Professor

Fabrizio Moroni as Mirko

Corrado Olmi as Porter

Stefano Satta Flores as Andrea

Laura Troschel as Maria

Francine Racette as Dalia

Four Flies on Grey Velvet is considered by the chalk-and-elbow-patches crowd to be the third movie in Argento’s Animal Trilogy, which is a bullshit after-the-fact attempt to thematically tether The Bird With The Crystal Plumage (1970), Cat O’Nine Tails (1971) and Four Flies on Grey Velvet together. Is a fly an animal? No. Is there a cat in Cat O’Nine Tails? I can’t remember, actually, there might be; Italians love them some cats. Anyway, a cat o’nine tails isn’t actually a cat. More importantly Four Flies on Grey Velvet was intended to be Argento’s sayonara to the giallo. His next movie was The Five Days (1973) a comedy-drama set during the anti-Austrian revolt of 1848. Unluckily for Argento it bombed, luckily for Argento and the world of cinema he would then make Deep Red (1975). As a movie four Flies on Grey Velvet is very uneven and not a little ridiculous, but taken as a giallo, it’s the real deal. Ultimately, though, its greatest value is as an artistic step on the way to Argento’s masterpiece, Deep Red.  

Dario Argento is by no means the greatest director ever, he is, however, arguably the greatest giallo director ever. And as arguments go it’s a short one: it’s either Argento or Mario Bava. But no matter who you personally adore, Argento is very much at the top of the heap and any of his giallo up to (and including) Opera (1987) are among the very best the genre can offer. Obviously this includes Four Flies on Grey Velvet , but equally obviously his best movies are still giallo, possibly more giallo than most. Argento’s movies are not venerated because they are great movies, they are venerated because they are great giallo. Although with Four Flies on Grey Velvet you can expect one of the greatest giallo ever, you should not confuse that with expecting a great movie; certainly not one of the greatest ever. Just trying to manage expectations for giallo newbies. Look, Four Flies on Grey Velvet is an amazingly entertaining, visually inventive and thoroughly bizarre time, flaws and all.

Big-haired rock drummer Roberto Tobias (Michael Brandon) is persistently stalked by a creepy dude in sunglasses. One night after laying down some sweet beats in rehearsal, Roberto snaps and tracks the dude to a deserted theatre where a violent confrontation occurs; there is a scuffle, a knife is drawn, and when the kerfuffle is over Roberto is stood over a body. A spotlight snaps on and a figure wearing a freakily vacuous mask captures Roberto’s compromised form on film. Unsettled by the incident, at night Roberto dreams of a ritual beheading in an arena while during the day his already strained relationship with his wife, Nina (Mimsy Farmer), erodes further. When Roberto is attacked in his own home by a mysterious assailant he confides in Nina and, unable to go to the police due to his accidental murdering, enlists the help of his friend Godfrey (Bud Spencer) and The Professor (Oreste Lionello), both of whom are weird hobo types, for reasons known only to Dario Argento. Things get (more) complicated quickly with blackmail, a flamboyantly gay detective, adultery, stylish murders, a dead cat in a bag, a machine that can photograph the last thing a dead person saw, Ennio Morricone’s syrupy score, and a cumulative air of feverish irrationality as Roberto attempts to unmask his tormentor before death silences his cymbals forever.

Roberto’s cymbals are a crucial element in Four Flies on Grey Velvet’s incredible opening; it’s a full frontal assault on cinematic complacency, a dynamic reminder that when it comes to giallo Argento is simply on a different level. It’s one of the most thrilling pieces of cinema I’ve sat through; I hope it is taught in ivied halls of learning; it should be. An incredible amount of information is thrown into the viewer’s face, so much so that in any other hands it would just be a perplexing mess. But these aren’t just anyone’s hands, these are Dario Argento’s hands and so pin sharp editing, meticulous pacing, visual rhythm and a sly wit carry the day. Any viewer who fails to be enraptured by Argento’s showmanship in this opening hasn’t got a chance with the rest of the movie. Because, unfortunately, Four Flies on Grey Velvet never gets that good again. But a lot of movies never get anywhere near that good, and a lot of directors can only dream of being that good, so let’s not get too rainy faced about it.

Any tears on offer should be shed over my being an idiot, spending the last few decades reading about this movie and thinking “Michael Brandon” was just another screen name designed to fool American punters. You know, like George Hilton (Jorge Hill Acosta y Lara) or, more pertinently here, Bud Spencer (Carlo Pedersoli). But no, it is indeed Michael Brandon (Michael Brandon), a familiar sight on TV during my youth in “Dempsey and Makepeace” (1985-86). And he’s very good in Four Flies on Grey Velvet, being curiously detached in a wholly suitable fashion for the peculiar cinematic confection he inhabits. “Dempsey and Makepeace” was shit, though. Mimsy Farmer has a good time, delivering the acting goods and, unknowingly, limbering up for her headlining triumph in The Perfume of the Lady in Black (1974). Even though I found the humour as funny as bad news from the doctor, Bud Spencer proves to be a ridiculously affable screen presence, if perhaps a bit too “normal” for the folderol unfolding around him. Thankfully, Jean-Pierre Marielle is great as the gay detective, Gianni Arrosio. Usually a gay character in a giallo is where you have to grit your teeth and mumble something like “Um, that’s sure not aged well. Cough!” But, while slightly overplaying the falsetto, Marielle presents a gay character who is funny, fearless and, alas, just a bit too smart for his own good in the end.

Like any Argento movie, Four Flies on Grey Velvet isn’t perfect, but it is perfect in parts. Argento isn’t interested in every scene, so the movie kind of flops bonelessly in-between set pieces. There are a few too many party scenes involving hirsute men telling creepy jokes, and the unfunny comedy hobos seem to have stumbled blithely in from some other movie (a Bud Spencer movie, naturally enough). If it weren’t for the intrinsic entertainment value of the 1970s,  via its preposterous clothes and spirited hair stylings, a lot of the movie would fall a lot flatter. As L. P. Hartley didn’t say: The past is another country, they look like children’s entertainers there. And there aren’t really that many set pieces, or there are a lot of really small set pieces; Argento seems to take a disproportionate amount of pleasure in trying to find the most stylish way to shoot the most innocuous of actions. Which is nice and very entertaining, but you wish he’d expended as much artistic energy on some of the dialogue scenes as he does on a letter being received. Argento has his own artistic priorities which viewers are not privy to, and which seem shaped by his own idiosyncrasies rather than the needs of the movie as a cohesive narrative. He’s all over the place, basically. But when he’s on, well then, bang a gong. And Argento’s on far more than he isn’t. When he is good he is very, very good and when he isn’t you’re not too bothered because in a minute or so he’ll be very, very good again. You can’t get more giallo than that.

A note on the print: Four Flies on Grey Velvet is the least familiar Argento giallo to me as it was “lost” for a while prior to 2009, but it is now freely available. I watched the Shameless UK Blu-Ray of Four Flies on Grey Velvet. This is a gussied up print which looks a little soft, but pretty great. You can see just how much work has been done by choosing to view the version with the “missing 40 seconds” included. These 40 seconds are untouched and are…horrible. So horrible I guess they can’t be salvaged. Luckily they are also pretty trivial, so you can watch the version of the movie which excludes them and enjoy a lovely picture, secure in the knowledge that you’re missing nothing. Well, missing nothing except evidence of the astonishing job Shameless’ technical homunculi have  done. [Ticker tape parade erupts out of a side-street!]

[maiji]

“If you could pick 5 members to be on your team in the dark tournament, who would it be?”

So while I was going back through my archives trying to see if I had any incorrectly flagged content (I scrolled all the way to 2015, found three, and gave up/went to bed lol), I kept getting distracted and rereading old posts out of amusement. One of them was this 21 Questions Yu Yu Hakusho meme - and one question in particular made the gears of my brain clank so I thought hey, why not? Let’s answer it.

I'm going to tackle this question from two angles.

A) If I could pick ANY characters in Yu Yu Hakusho to form a team.

B) If I could only pick characters who appear during the actual Dark Tournament.

As soon as you see my first list, you'll understand why I was like, “oh.” and opted to do it again from B lmao.

(Oh yeah my tags spoil everything but oh well. Hope the rationale makes up for it hahaha)

VERSION A: Fun times

Raizen.

I'm sorry, the tournament is over now, thank you for coming. Seriously though, he's Yusuke with a million times more firepower and brains/experience. Also, one of the appeals of Yusuke is that he makes fighting fun, which is why everyone wants to go up against him. Raizen's friends express the exact same sentiment repeatedly. Raizen in his prime in battle would be a sight to see. He'd be all DID SOMEBODY SAY FIGHTING?? YEAH I'LL FIGHT ALL THE FIGHTS WAHOO and nobody would be able to get him off the arena platform. If there is an arena platform left. Or an arena. Or anything.

Enki.

Jolly uncle/all-round good dude, I love him. He also loves fighting, so he is also lots of fun. He seems much more cool-headed and practical than Raizen, and definitely takes the lead in coordinating the rest of Raizen's pals. Thus, he's a great wingman for Raizen. If you somehow actually manage to defeat Raizen- haha, what am I talking about? OK, if Raizen slept in or something, then you can fight Enki. And in that case the tournament is still over.

Kokou.

LOVES FIGHTING AND WILL KICK YOUR ASS. Even Enki was relieved he didn't have to face her. I firmly believe after Raizen she's the strongest - or at least one of the strongest - out of all of Raizen's already insanely powerful friends. Honestly, between Raizen and Kokou they'd probably just take everybody down, including each other, and have a blast. 

My perfect noodle husband Hokushin.

Obviously no one is surprised at this pick on my blog. Also loves fighting, plus super duper reliable, he's perfect support for anything. Along with Enki, he'd help temper Raizen and Kokou's wild party. And somebody needs to clean up after all the mess and make sure everybody gets first aid and whatever. Well, first aid for the other team they just massacred, I guess.

One more Raizen friend: Natsume.

We could put another one of Raizen's friends here, but I pick Natsume because we know a lot more about her and she's so badass and we should have more women. Also, because she's very clearly another great mashup of LOVES FIGHTING and NOT STUPID, as a fifth member, she can easily step in to fill any of the others' shoes, whether it's happily beat the crap out of everything in sight or be calm and strategize. If anybody ever actually needed to be filled in for some reason.

I call this amazingness Team Old People. IMO this team is flawless because they would just be so damn entertaining on so many levels. You have five extremely powerful and smart warriors with centuries of experience who have nothing to prove aside from sheer enjoyment of battle. Every one of them has expressed a passion for fighting because it's simply a joy for them, which means they wouldn't be playing it safe/boring. Seeing a master in action at practically anything is awesome, and not only that but they’d be willing to experiment and take risks and do things that are out there. A tournament is also a form of entertainment for the audience (both the real life audience and the one in the show), and that combined with their expert level combat skills means that I think they'd be so fantastic to watch. And all of them have distinct personalities that balance "I am an ancient demon with wisdom and stuff" VS "I love punching people (or getting punched) in the face!!" in different enough ways that they still offer really interesting character dynamics and interaction opportunities. And they would also be incredibly supportive of each other while still allowing for plenty of snark.

That said, FUN FUN FUN aside, the very obvious problem with this team is that they seriously break the question. And everything else. Even if they don’t intend to flat out obliterate everything, that’s what would probably happen, and that unfortunately can easily head towards its own kind of boring. Everyone would be like "why are we having a tournament, we're going home". So, we must leave Team Old People behind and move on to version B.

VERSION B: Serious business

Dark Tournament characters only. I will exclude members of the Toguro Team from my selection for obvious reasons. NO MORE FUN TIME. This is me pretending that I'm some rich underworld dude or whatever putting together a team I'm betting on to get through the tournament. You're going to see a clear pattern emerging from my picks.

Genkai.

The veteran. Intelligent, experienced, very powerful and pragmatic. I'd shell out big bucks to get her to come back to be my team's captain. No question for me, she's a must, even if all she does is sit on the sidelines and coach the rest of the team. With a group of serious, motivated and talented fighters, she'd be the best mentor and my team would be well-positioned to MAKE ME LOTS OF MONEY SO IN YOUR SMOKY SCARRED FACE SAKYO

Hiei.

Those who know me may find it shocking that I'm including Hiei but not Yusuke, Kuwabara, or Kurama. Hiei doesn't appear on my tumblr very often, and of the four main characters he's probably the one I'm least emotionally invested in. But if you're assembling a team for the Dark Tournament, you're IN IT TO WIN IT!! And Hiei is the best bet. I shall explain.

Hiei is efficient and effective, and his success ratio is the highest out of all Urameshi Team members - the most number of individual fights without a single loss or draw. Granted, he sits out for a chunk of the tournament, but he rarely appears worn out at the end of a fight. The only time he overexerts himself is against Zeru; after his recovery, he never seems to break a sweat. Even against Bui, he had no real issues. From a betting perspective, his odds are very, very good. Kuwabara and Kurama both experience multiple losses - Kuwabara often because he's young and overconfident or becomes so personally involved that he cares more for a positive outcome for other people than for winning; Kurama often because (as Hiei notes) he tends to overcalculate the situation and draw things out so long figuring everything out that it turns into a disadvantage. Yusuke's very strong and has huge potential, but he's also focused far too much on the experience. This makes his battles fun to watch but would give a strategist heart attacks. Many of his fights involve near-misses or less-than-ideal situations stemming from amateur errors. And finally, he gets dinged with a draw in his match with Jin, in part because his dawdling on the field made the deception feasible. Yusuke's great for drama and storytelling, not great for the comfort of my pocketbook. Having him on a team is risky when I know the other underworld bosses I'm competing against are not above using underhanded tactics.

As a result, based on a purely practical evaluation, Hiei is the most reliable choice. He's very focused on, and very good at, the one thing I want - DEFEAT THE OPPONENT UNEQUIVOCALLY. He comes in and tears people apart and there's no chance of an ambiguous referee call. He just needs his team members to be people he can respect to keep him in line. With Genkai as captain, that shouldn't be an issue. Nor with the rest of my picks.

Ryo (Kai in the anime) / M-3.

This is the Dr. Ichigaki member with the invisible claw powers. After their fight, he offers to be a replacement for the seriously injured Kuwabara (Yusuke appreciates it but has to turn him down because it's against the rules unless Kuwabara actually dies). He seems to be the strongest of the three students who were brainwashed by Ichigaki, and without Genkai's intervention and his own struggling against Ichigaki's mechanism, he would very likely have wiped out Kuwabara and Yusuke. He's extremely serious and dedicated, and with someone like Genkai steering the helm I think he'd go far. I'd be comfortable putting money on him. I also like him a lot and wish he had more involvement in the story - I've always felt that if Togashi didn’t need to get Koenma in for story purposes Yusuke hadn't been so freaked out and completely lost mentally when Genkai died, he probably would've asked Ryo to be the replacement fifth member. SOMEONE WRITE THIS

Touya.

Stronger than Gama, less arrogant than Risho, more reliable than Jin (who has many of the same problems as Yusuke), and Bakken sucks and will never be considered by anybody. Touya's powers are also very flexible. Somebody just needs to tell him to NOT TALK TO HIS OPPONENT. Don't talk to them, don't listen to them, don't let them distract you, don't let them get into your head, JUST GET IN THERE AND EYE ON THE PRIZE AND BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THEM OKAY lol. I also think when Genkai was training everyone for Kurama, Touya was probably the one who gave her the least hard time. I mean, out of Touya, Jin, Chuu, Rinku, Suzuki and Shishiwakamaru who do YOU think would bellyache the least? I thought so.

The fifth member is actually a backup/alternate who doesn't necessarily see action (if you recall, this is why Chuu was mad). For my final pick, I took a while to decide, so I'll tell you about both of the last two people I was considering since I enjoy any excuse to talk about characters I don’t usually see mentioned.

5a is Zeru. 

OK, partly I considered him because nobody remembers him lmao - he was Hiei's first victory, obliterated into a shadow by Hiei's training-wheels Kokuryuuha. But if you look at my other picks, I think you'll appreciate why he's on my radar - he fits the profile of what I'm looking for very nicely. I want someone in control of themselves; who is a reliable, consistent, focused fighter unlikely to get distracted by other things; who clearly demonstrates power and is committed and has potential to grow really fast with the right direction/team captain. The only thing is that with Hiei already on the team, this may be duplicating the skillset and the mental profile a bit too much. And I think it's clear Hiei already has the upperhand in baseline power. So,

5b is Suzuki. 

His strength isn't fighting. It's his ingenuity in adapting, augmenting, and outfitting his team members with really good, really creative tools. He's honestly more a tinkerer and an inventor, imaginatively tweaking things to be even more useful, and whenever he realizes and accepts this about himself instead of trying to be just another fighter in the limelight, he'll be rich lmao. Anyways, this skill makes him a hugely valuable asset. I don't need him to be in the ring, I'm fine having him support with cool gadgets to amplify the rest of the team.

I HOPE YOU LIKED MY PICKS lol

[spellcastersjudgement]

hmmm 22 with hornets?

this was the baby froot’s second favorite ship growing up (fusionship was the otp at the time) so i am always am happy to contribute hornetshipping to the fandom 

#22: a kiss in a rush of adrenaline 

“Crowler is such an ass for doing this.” 

Bastion, though not given to speaking ill of professors, was inclined to agree. “Being promoted to Chancellor has certainly inflated his ego beyond repair,” 

Alexis leaned her elbows on the seat in front of her, the freshman occupant nervously looking over their shoulder and scooting forward in the chair. The arena buzzed with anticipation, everyone speculating on who would be dueling in the first official match of the year. Bastion remembered being in Jaden’s dorm room, listening to him talk about the party in their room tonight, the ‘squad’ as Jaden was so fond of calling it, planning to squeeze into their broom closet of a room and drink until the sun came up. Chazz had busted down the door, looking even more irate than usual, screaming about being roped into a duel with some snot-nosed, wet-behind-the-ears freshmen that were clearly beneath The Chazz. 

Bastion thought it was all rather adorable. When the black-haired boy was angry–more than his constant simmer of anger, because if it was the default state was it really worth mentioning?–he blushed the lightest shade of pink and spit out swear words that weren’t words per se, but left no one in any doubt of the sentiment behind them. When Bastion had dueled Chazz freshman year, had been on the receiving end of one of those rages, it was impossible to take him seriously. 

He was just too cute. 

“If Zane were here still Crowler would’ve pulled his ass into publicity stunts instead of actually teaching him,” Alexis laughed, rolling her eyes, picking at her nails. “We’re the top dueling school in the world, why do we need all of this publicity?” 

“Perhaps the fact our academic programs are gaining more attention than our dueling program,” 

“Well fuck, that’s good isn’t it, B?” Alexis snorted. “I’m tired of friends from high school getting up my ass about going to Card Game College,” 

“I don’t disagree. Remember who’s in charge here though,” Bastion watched as the seats filled. It was obvious who was a freshman because they sorted themselves into clumps of color, unaware that the dorm hierarchy was little more than a formality to most people. “Chazz will certainly provide a good show, no doubt. That’s why Crowler must have picked him,”

Though Chazz Princeton claimed to be no-nonsense, his theatrics when it came to, well everything in his life, belied him. The yelling, the trash-talking, the self-given nicknames, the chant–all perfect for the new chancellor’s half-baked plan to bring press to Duel Academy, not to mention his family name always raised eyebrows and turned heads. And Chazz, for all of his ranting that this was “totally lame,” had parked himself in front of the toothpaste-spattered mirror, stole Jaden’s hairbrush, and after painstakingly ridding it of what he called “Slacker DNA,” preened in front of the mirror, making sure every strand of his hair in place. 

“Stupid, stupid Crowler,” he’d muttered, picking at a pimple on his cheek despite Bastion’s insistence he should leave it alone. “He doesn’t–he doesn’t even know what fucking cameras to use, which side is my good side! I bet he didn’t even get a real opponent,” 

Bastion, though he barely was able to reign in the impulse, did not take the opportunity to tell Chazz he looked exquisite from any side. 

Pining was a strange feeling, Bastion reflected as Chazz sprayed himself with air freshener. Or rather, he held his arms out and instructed Jaden to spray him, turning in place, smelling more like alcohol than Pumpkin Spice but better than anything else in the dorm. His black coat swished as he turned, and Bastion enjoyed the way his eyes fell closed, the way he stood up onto his tiptoes to twirl, akin to a sarcastic dueling Disney princess, not that Chazz would appreciate the comparison. Bastion had felt bad as soon as the thought crossed his mind, but he chalked it up to the fact the brain chemicals that caused one to feel ‘love’ were messing with him. 

Those same chemicals were causing his heart to beat faster and excitement to bubble up as Chazz, or The Chazz as he so preferred, strutted into the duel arena, chin held high and his typical scowl on his face. On the other side of Alexis, he could hear Jaden leading the cheer of “Chazz it up,” finding himself soon cheering as well. The group of freshmen in the row in front of them looked over their shoulders, sharing confused glances with each other at how the majority of the student body seemed to know the chant. 

“Look at that,” Alexis stopped chanting to lean over to Bastion and point at the person walking in to the other side of the duel arena. “He’s so small–is he really old enough to be at college?” 

“Syrus is only five foot two, it’s not unheard of,” 

“Syrus also gets handed the kids menu when we go out,” Alexis said. “And at least Syrus got the proper uniform size. That kid’s drowning in his damn trenchcoat,” 

Bastion only ever seen three people wear Obelisk blue trenchcoats in his time at the academy, and one of them had swapped theirs out for a ratty black one that had gotten him in trouble several times before the professors realized he could give a flying fuck about the dress code. Zane and Atticus, the top students at the school before their graduation this past spring, had made trenchcoats synonymous with high level dueling ability, which was ridiculous because they had never set out to do that. Bastion could attest, as the number-one ranked student (academically, that is, Jaden was the best for dueling of course), that a trenchcoat would not have helped him. And it certainly wasn’t doing any favors for this runt of an opponent, who was surreptitiously looking down at his feet, making sure he didn’t step on the hem. 

“Chazz it the fuck up!” Jaden jumped up, waving around a Duel Academy water bottle that most certainly did not contain water. 

The Chazz saw his roommate–actually, plural now because Syrus was leaning heavily against Jaden’s side, taking a sip from the same water bottle and slurring the words of the cheer–sticking up his middle finger with a glare so intense Bastion would’ve shrunk under it. Jaden laughed, of course, and Syrus shouted obscenities that Bastion never thought he would hear out of his mild-mannered friend. 

“Sit down, you slackers,” 

The phrase was so distinctly Chazz that Bastion was surprised the vice chancellor was now speaking, his voice booming through the microphone, contrasting his small size. He was also wearing a trenchcoat. Bastion would have to write some formula detailing the height of a person (or lack thereof) and how likely they were to wear such a ridiculous thing. 

Chazz would be excluded from this formula, of course, because Bastion was almost as fond of his coat as he was of Chazz. He couldn’t have his feelings taint his findings.  

“The trash-talking is limited to the participants. If certain members of the audience can’t keep their mouths shut for the duration of the duel, I will personally see they are punished,” Bonaparte continued, nearly tripping over the cord of the microphone. 

Jaden and Syrus sat down, but that didn’t stop Syrus from much more quietly saying choice words. 

Whatever was in that bottle, Bastion might need to ask for some. 

“Welcome to our first official match of the school year: Chazz Princeton versus incoming freshman Reginald Van Howell–the only freshman to make it in to Obelisk blue this year and the pride of his dueling prep school!” 

“That just means he’s a carbon copy of Chazz at the beginning of last year,” Alexis rolled her eyes and crossed her legs, leaning back in her seat like she was already bored. “Chazz is gonna wipe the floor with this little shit,” 

“He better,” Jaden popped in. “if he loses I owe the guy down the hall a hundred bucks,” 

“You don’t have a hundred dollars to your name, Jay,” Alexis said. 

“All the more reason for Chazzy-Spazzy to win,” Jaden said, tipping more of god-knows-what type of alcoholic beverage down his throat. “That’s gonna be our beer money for tonight,” 

This time last year before he knew how incorrigible Jaden Yuki was, Bastion would have admonished him for betting money he didn’t have. He didn’t waste his breath this time. “If Chazz wins, be sure to buy the higher-quality liquor from your supplier,” 

“Bastion, why do you always have to make it sound like I’m buying heroin or something? Also I totally will because I don’t wanna hear his constant bitching tonight,” Jaden sat back in his seat. “Duel’s starting, duel’s starting–here’s hopin’ I didn’t just fuck us all over tonight!” 

Chazz drew his first card, and Bastion was hopeful as well. Hopeful that Chazz would win not so Jaden wouldn’t land himself in trouble with whoever was this year’s designated bookie for the Slifer dorm, though it would be preferable for their alcohol fund to increase by a hundred dollars, but so he could see the elusive Happy Chazz, akin in rarity to Bigfoot. He would smile, a genuine one, not a sarcastic or mischevious smile that Bastion also loved, and he would laugh and not complain about Jaden hugging him and sometimes, just sometimes when Bastion would congratulate him, the black haired boy would say ‘thanks, Bas.’ That nickname, which was used my all members of the friend group (with the exception of Alexis who could never get a picture of a fish out of her mind when she heard it), sounded different coming from Chazz, made his heart swell and his brain short-circuit, and he would be lying if he said he weren’t desperate to hear it. 

The duel was a quick one. Jaden only had time to make it through three cycles of “Chazz It Up” before Reginald’s life points hit zero, the freshman looking like his parents had just been murdered in front of him given the horror on his face at losing to a Slifer. Bastion rather enjoyed watching freshmen learn that the colors one wore didn’t always directly correlate to their dueling abilities, but he was now more focused on following his friends out of the crowd to get to Chazz, congratulate him on his victory, and maybe, just maybe satisfy his selfish desires to see Chazz smile. 

Jaden and Syrus were already embracing Chazz from both sides, laughing and wobbling on inebriated legs, Jaden shouting that he was buying them Goose tonight and Chazz agreeing with him instead of shoving him off. Alexis shooed them off of Chazz long enough to give him a one-armed hug. 

Chazz hadn’t seemed to notice Bastion yet. As the Ra stepped toward him, ready to offer his own congratulations, the black-haired boy looked over toward him, his eyes widening the slightest bit as he ducked out of Alexis’s hold, closing the distance between them, smiling. Bastion was confused for a moment, his words never making it out as the Slifer’s arms closed around his neck, lips smashing ungracefully against his. 

Bastion had not even allowed himself to fantasize about kissing Chazz. He had only recently come to terms with the fact he’d been pining for the better part of a year, and it would probably take until graduation for him to allow himself to consider the possibility that Chazz would return his feelings. Now, as Chazz’s arms tightened around his neck, his lips moving against Bastions, skinny frame pressed against Bastion’s muscular one, he had to consider the possibility that he was hallucinating. It was possible that something in Jaden’s dorm room had been left over the summer and rotted to the point toxic fumes were permeating the space, infecting his brain. 

Determined to see if he was hallucinating, Bastion forced his arms to relax the slightest bit from how they’d been tensed up in surprise, he hugged the black-haired boy to his chest, squeezing the slightest bit too tightly on accident, a gasp breaking the kiss as Chazz caught his breath. 

They were both standing there, in the middle of the duel arena, with hundreds of pairs of eyes staring at them. 

“Uh, um–good job,” Bastion said eloquently. 

“Yeah, uh, thanks,” Chazz said, face bright pink, the remnants of a smile on his face. 

“God fucking damn it!” 

The shout came from somewhere to Bastion’s left. An irate Slifer boy at the top of the stadium seats shouted again. “Do you know how much fucking money you cost all of us?” 

“You bitches owe me twenty-five dollars apiece!” Jaden laughed, nearly falling over. 

Chazz’s face went from serene to incensed, pushing away from Bastion to chew out Jaden for placing bets on his love life. 

At least they’d have even more money to spend on the party tonight. 

[junker-town]

12 predictions that will determine the NBA season

Our writers give their NBA predictions at the onset of the season.

Only two months after the Los Angeles Lakers were crowned as champions inside the bubble, a new NBA season arrives with the league returning to home arenas. The NBA is set to play a condensed 72-game schedule as the global pandemic continues to rage on, though there’s hope that the vaccine will be widely distributed in the coming months.

This was the shortest offseason in league history for teams that made a deep playoff run in the bubble. Meanwhile, the teams that didn’t qualify for the season restart haven’t played since March. With superstars like Kevin Durant and Stephen Curry returning after missing all of last season, it feels like so much of this year is unknowable. What we do know going into the season is that the Lakers are strong favorites to repeat.

Before the 2020-2021 NBA regular season gets underway, we asked our staff to predict how this year will go. Picks are being made by writers Sabreena Merchant, Sydney Umeri, Ameer Tyree, Ricky O’Donnell, and Brady Klopfer.

Who will be the No. 1 seed in the West?

Sabreena: The Lakers. At the risk of taking too much away from the preseason, seeing the Lakers scrape and claw to win all four exhibitions makes me think this team has so many non-LeBron players who want to prove something this season. That depth will be hard to contend with during the regular season.

Ricky: The Nuggets. While their defense should take a hit without Jerami Grant, Jamal Murray and Michael Porter Jr. leveling up could mean the Nuggets have the No. 1 offense in the league. With the Lakers and Clippers likely prioritizing rest in the regular season, Denver seems an obvious candidate to jump up to the top seed.

Sydney: The Lakers. While different than last year, the Lakers kept many of their core pieces and substituted them where necessary. With LeBron and AD having great chemistry on-and-off the court, Montrezl Harrell, the reigning 6th Man of the Year filling the spot of Dwight Howard, and the exciting and surprising Talen Horton-Tucker emerging as a force, I think they will be pretty hard to beat.

Brady: The Nuggets. Denver is the only top team in the West that doesn’t have obstacles to overcome. They don’t have a new coach and system like the Clippers. They won’t be resting their top players like the Lakers. They don’t have as much roster turnover as the Mavericks. They have continuity, and can score 120 points in their sleep.

Ameer: The Los Angeles Lakers were favored to win it all after acquiring Anthony Davis and a slew of veterans last season and have made upgrades at multiple positions. LeBron James and AD will do most of the heavy lifting but last year’s top two Sixth Man of the Year candidates — Dennis Schroder and Montrezl Harrell — will set the reigning champs over the top.

Photo by Douglas P. DeFelice/Getty Images

True or false: the Bucks will make the NBA Finals this season.

Sydney: False. The Giannis fan in me wants that to be true, for his sake, but the East is too talented, and I can see Milwaukee making an early playoff exit yet again. Boston, Miami, Brooklyn, and Toronto all have the opportunity to give the Bucks a good run heading into the finals, and unfortunately, I do not think they have what it takes to make it to the finals.

Ricky: False. It would be a great story to see Giannis Antetokounmpo breakthrough to the Finals after committing to Milwaukee long-term, but Mike Budenholzer’s curious playoff decisions and a serious lack of depth are real question marks. It’s true that the Bucks could have an easier path through the postseason this year — the Heat were the worst possible matchup — but I’ll go with the field in the East over Milwaukee.

Sabreena: False. I don’t think the Bucks addressed their weakness of creating offense in the half court with the Jrue Holiday trade, and Mike Budenholzer is still the worst coast atop the East, even if we don’t what Steve Nash is like in this role yet. There’s no reason why the Bucks can’t be a regular-season juggernaut again, but I’ll be thinking about what Bogdan Bogdanovic would have looked like on this team for a long time.

Brady: False. I think the Bucks would be my prediction to win the East, as I really like the Giannis Antetokounmpo and Jrue Holiday fit. But you have to be really good to be favored over the field, and the Bucks postseason foibles don’t allow for that benefit of the doubt.

Ameer: False. I’d believe Milwaukee had it the Bogdan Bogdanovic trade. Adding a player with Jrue Holiday’s defensive versatility to a team anchored by Giannis Antetokounmpo and Khris Middleton is significant, but I’m skeptical about how a off-ball guard rotation of Donte DiVincenzo and Brynn Forbes will pan out. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Bucks were the top team in the Eastern Conference for the regular season, but I’m not buying them as a contender.

Photo by Carmen Mandato/Getty Images

James Harden trade during this season: 76ers or the field?

Sabreena: 76ers. I don’t think a team is offering a better player than Ben Simmons. Daryl Morey has boldly proclaimed that he wouldn’t trade a player before and backtracked very quickly, and he loves James Harden way too much to not pull the trigger later this season once Houston’s asking price has come down. Simmons, Tyrese Maxey, and a sweetener should get the job done.

Ricky: The field. If Houston hangs onto Harden through the year, Philly seems like the most natural trade partner with Ben Simmons going back to the Rockets. But after Daryl Morey’s strong statement that he isn’t trading Simmons, it’s hard to see how that deal goes during this season.

Sydney: The field. I don’t think Harden will end this season as a Rocket, but I doubt he will end it as a Sixer either. To get Harden, the Sixers would have to give up so much, Embiid or Simmons and possibly more. I’m not sure trading away one or more foundational players is the best way to go in exchange for a star that might not be in Philly for the long haul.

Brady: The field. I agree with Ricky that Philly will be the favorite next offseason if Harden makes it through the season without switching teams. But the Sixers are trying out a new coach in Doc Rivers to see if they can make their exciting young core work. I don’t see them abandoning that after a few weeks. Also, Daryl Morey has long been in the business of hoarding draft picks, not dishing them out; I’m not convinced he’d meet Houston’s price.

Ameer: It doesn’t seem like Philadelphia is willing to budge on Simmons but several other Eastern Conference teams looking to make a leap are willing to fork up the necessary assets to acquire Harden. I’m not sure whether it’ll be the Nets, Raptors, or another team that has yet to make itself known as a suitor, but players like Harden aren’t up for grabs often.

Photo by Glenn James/NBAE via Getty Images

Who’s your MVP pick?

Ameer: Luka Doncic cracked the top 20 in points, rebounds and assists last season and is the odds-on favorite to win MVP on plenty of sportsbooks. It’ll be hard for the third-year star to ascend to a higher level but playing without Kristaps Porzingis to start the 2020-21 season can only benefit him. The 21-year-old finished fourth in MVP voting last year. LeBron, AD, and Antetokounmpo getting more help can only improve Doncic’s case.

Ricky: Anthony Davis. An MVP is the one thing missing on Davis’ resume at this point. With LeBron likely waiting until the playoffs to unleash the totality of his talent, Davis should emerge as the Lakers’ representative for the award. After losing out on Finals MVP to LeBron last season, I wouldn’t be surprised if voters give AD a make-up call here.

Sydney: Giannis Antetokounmpo. Yes, again. He is spectacular and truly a force on the court, but also, he is healthy and on the hunt for a championship. If the Bucks do not get a title this year, it won’t be because Giannis didn’t move heaven and Earth to get them one. Throughout the season, his body of work will be a testament to that and will earn him MVP status for the third year in a row.

Brady: LeBron James. This is a pick that will look foolish the first time James does some managing of the load. But after his performance in the bubble, he enters the season as the consensus best player in the world. It’s easier to retain a belt than to steal it. Excluding the bizarre and arguably inappropriate Kobe Bryant storyline, all the narratives that media members used to justify MVP votes for ‘Bron last year will still be present this season. He’s got the belt and the narrative.

Sabreena: Luka Doncic. I think Giannis will be deserving of the award, but I can’t see the voters making him the winner for the third consecutive year, especially since he hasn’t yet won a title. Meanwhile, Doncic will be the alpha and omega for this Mavericks team, especially when Kristaps Porzingis is out to start the year. He’ll be able to pad his stats to an otherworldly total. Doncic will also play more minutes than some of the older MVP candidates, and his coronation will be the perfect conclusion of his breakout performance in the bubble.

Photo by Kent Smith/NBAE via Getty Images

Who’s your Rookie of the Year pick?

Ricky: LaMelo Ball. His shooting percentages might be trash, and the Hornets likely won’t win much, but Ball clearly has 20x the starpower of anyone else in this rookie class. He’ll win the award on highlights alone.

Sabreena: James Wiseman. This is another award where voters like raw counting stats, which favors point guards, but LaMelo Ball probably won’t be starting, and Killian Hayes doesn’t exactly have an offense geared towards him in Detroit. I thought about Tyrese Haliburton, but he’ll also be coming off the bench, so Wiseman is the pick for now. He’ll get some shine for playing in a winning situation, and he’ll get a ton of easy buckets and rebounds to pad his box scores.

Sydney: LaMelo Ball. His upside is huge, and he is extremely fun to watch. LaMelo is the Ball brother I can’t help but cheer for. I want to see him be great, and on the Hornets team, he has ample opportunity to do so.

Brady: LaMelo Ball. I think James Wiseman will be the most impactful rookie, but Ball is tailor made for the award. He’ll play 30+ minutes a night, have the ball in his hands, put up gaudy numbers (as long as efficiency and plus-minus aren’t your cup of tea), and be a staple on the nightly Top 10.

Ameer: LaMelo Ball might be at a disadvantage because he’ll kick off his NBA career as a bench player but I think he has the best case for ROY. No other lottery pick is even close to being the top option on their respective teams but Ball’s all-around game and flashy play will make it hard to keep him out of the conversation. No rookie has more triple-double potential than Ball in my opinion.

Russell Isabella-USA TODAY Sports

One player who will make an All-NBA team for the first time

Ricky: Devin Booker. Booker probably isn’t the best player on his own team anymore with the arrival of Chris Paul, but for the first time in his career the Phoenix Suns should be in the playoffs. Booker showed phenomenal progress during the Suns’ undefeated streak in the bubble. If he keeps it up and Phoenix grabs a spot in the middle of the West playoff picture, the individual accolades will come.

Sabreena: Bam Adebayo. I was tempted to say none, but where’s the fun? Adebayo’s another player who is heading into this season with a lot of momentum thanks to the bubble, and if the Heat finish near the top of the East standings, Adebayo will get a lot o credit.

Sydney: Zion Williamson. Spending most of his rookie season out with an injury, I believe Zion will have more than a few votes this year that will land him on an All-NBA team for the first, and probably not the last, time in his young career.

Brady: Zion Williamson. He’s already one of the league’s best players. Finding space for another forward on the team is always difficult, but he’ll use his superhuman strength to force his way in.

Ameer: The Atlanta Hawks had a tremendous offseason and Trae Young will be running the show after averaging an impressive 29.6 points and 9.3 assists per contest in his sophomore season. I think an All-NBA guard spot could be up for grabs now that Russell Westbrook and Bradley Beal have joined forces and Chris Paul has teamed up with Devin Booker. If the Hawks creep into the playoff picture it’ll be hard to deny a player with Trae’s numbers.

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Which team will finish with the lowest winning percentage?

Sydney: The Cavs. They are young and don’t know what kind of a team they are going to be. The team needs true veteran leadership. Given how young they are, this looks like another building year. A year to get their younger players reps and hopefully land a nice spot in the draft lottery.

Brady: The Knicks. There’s some intrigue in the Knicks young pieces, but they’re gonna rely on RJ Barrett and Obi Toppin to score, play Austin Rivers way too much, play Mitchell Robinson far too little, and have Tom Thibodeau demolish every player’s confidence on a nightly basis. It’ll be fun, in that same way that a Hallmark holiday movie is.

Sabreena: The Thunder. They play in the tougher conference, their bench is absurdly weak, and they’re likely to dump some pieces at the trade deadline to make the team even worse later in the year.

Ameer: The New York Knicks’ best player was Julius Randle last season and they elected to chose a backup for him in the lottery this year. They haven’t addressed their need for a point guard and I can’t see this team being better with teams like the Cleveland Cavaliers and Hawks again. The Detroit Pistons are a close second but a healthier Blake Griffin paired with Derrick Rose and a few experienced veterans is more appealing than any combination of Knicks players for me.

Ricky: The Thunder. There are actually some good players in Oklahoma City this year — Al Horford! George Hill! Trevor Ariza! Shai Gilgeous-Alexander! — but it’s likely several of them are traded in-season as the Thunder are fully committed to a rebuild. Half the roster looks like a G League team.

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Which of these teams will finish with the highest winning percentage: Heat, 76ers, Raptors, Celtics

Brady: The Raptors. I wasn’t here for the Raptors disrespect a year ago, and I’m not here for it now. Until Kyle Lowry starts slowing down, Toronto should still be near the top of the East. Boston should be comfortably better in the postseason, but the loss of Gordon Hayward and injury to Kemba Walker will hurt them in the standings.

Sydney: The 76ers. I’m trusting the process and going with Philly. That’s if they don’t trade away any of their major players. With a new front office, new head coach, and a roster more suited to highlight and strengthen Embiid and Simmons, I think they will have a solid year and will be tough for other teams to handle.

Sabreena: The Heat. This team is the most complete of the four, assuming Kemba Walker misses significant time, and they just know how to play together now after the bubble run. They’ll get off to a faster start, giving them a little breathing room at the end of the year.

Ameer: Miami has the same nucleus it won a championship with last year and I don’t expect them to have to make many adjustments. The Toronto lost two key bigs while Boston parted with Gordon Hayward. The like the Heat to finish third behind the Nets and Bucks.

Ricky: Raptors. Toronto won nine more games than the Heat last year, 10 more games than the Sixers, and five more games than the Celtics (who start this season without Kemba Walker). While I do think Toronto got a little bit worse over the offseason after losing Serge Ibaka and Marc Gasol, you can bet on Nick Nurse finding a way to win them a lot of games.

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Which of these teams will finish with the highest winning percentage: Trail Blazers, Jazz, Suns, Warriors

Sydney: The Jazz. They have all the pieces to make this season a good one. Donovan Mitchell is back. Rudy Golbert is also back. They have also added a few new additions to the team, but overall they have the chance to pick up where they left off last season and sore.

Brady: The Warriors. I think Utah might be the safe pick here, but the NBA is still a league driven by superstars, and the Warriors have one of the very best. Golden State will go as for as Steph Curry will take them, and that is usually pretty far.

Sabreena: The Blazers. I really like Portland’s depth after this offseason, and that will make them a tough out every night in the regular season. The Blazers have also finished third or eighth each of the past four seasons, and this feels more like a third-place team than one eking its way into the playoffs again.

Ameer: The Jazz took a major step forward by adding Bojan Bogdanovic in free agency last offseason and could benefit from having a healthy Mike Conley this year. Utah improved its backcourt depth by retaining Jordan Clarkson and added Derrick Favors to the frontcourt rotation. It had same record as last year’s fourth seed I can’t see any of the other team’s mentioned knocking them down a peg at full strength.

Ricky: Jazz. While I was extremely tempted to pick the Suns here, Utah just seems like a safer bet overall. They won nine more games than anyone else in this group last year and brought back basically the entire roster. Donovan Mitchell and Rudy Gobert is a pretty damn good 1-2 punch.

Wendell Cruz-USA TODAY Sports

What’s the Nets’ ceiling as presently constructed?

Sabreena: NBA champ. The last time Kevin Durant played, he was unguardable, and the rest of the offensive talent on the Nets is pretty impressive, too. There’s a chance they’re simply too explosive for any defense in the league.

Ricky: Conference champion. KD looked awesome in the preseason coming back from the torn Achilles, and there’s more depth here than people realize. I do have questions about the defense, and I doubt they could beat the Lakers in a seven-game series, but an NBA Finals run wouldn’t surprise me.

Sydney: First round of the playoffs. The Nets are looking good right now, but it’s so early. They have to stay healthy, and they have to get along, specifically Kyrie and KD. Health is the most important, but we have all seen what it is like when KD and Kyrie do not get along with their teammates. It’s not pretty.

Brady: NBA champion. Do I think it will happen? No. But they have arguably the greatest scorer in NBA history, next to one of the best scorers in the league, surrounded by shooters. The sky is the limit, even if there’s a high chance of it exploding.

Ameer: The Nets are built like a powerhouse team. While many are skeptical about their defense I feel like their depth on offense is enough to take them to the NBA Finals. If Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving are healthy for the most part Brooklyn can reach the final stage.

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Pick one for NBA champion: Lakers or the field.

Ricky: Lakers. Part of this is because I consistently picked against the Lakers last year and they made me look dumb as hell. Part of this is because they (probably?) upgraded a roster that already looked dominant in the bubble. While their shooting might take a step back, the defense will be as good as ever. As long as LeBron and AD stay healthy, the Lakers are clearly the team to beat.

Sydney: The field. The Lakers are talented, but it is hard to repeat. LeBron and AD will put on a show for sure, but something tells me a team from the East will take it from them this year.

Brady: The field. This is nothing against the Lakers, but the field is almost always the right pick. There are too many championship-caliber squads to give a team relying an a player in his 18th season and an injury-prone big man more than a coin’s flip chance.

(Sabreena refuses to tempt fate)

Ameer: Only a major midseason trade could make me think there’s a team capable of knocking off the new-and-improved Lakers. Short layoff or not, Los Angeles has the best roster in the Western Conference and has a good chance to repeat as champs barring any major injuries or blockbuster deals.

Give me your hottest take for a preseason prediction

Brady: Jayson Tatum takes the age leap and is no longer 19 years old when the season ends. More seriously, I’ll say that the Western Conference Finals will include a team that isn’t the Lakers, Clippers, Nuggets, or Mavericks.

Ameer: My hot take preseason prediction is that Ben Simmons will make more than 20 three pointers this season. We haven’t seen tape of him shooting from range at open gyms this offseason but I’m buying that he would’ve been willing to attempt more heaves from deep in the playoffs had he not suffered a season-ending knee injury. Daryl Morey’s influence has to come into play here after leaving a Houston Rockets team that hoisted more threes than anyone.

Ricky: I know I pegged AD for MVP, but I want to throw out a YOLO (people still say that, right?) pick for Nikola Jokic to win Most Valuable Player. If the Nuggets get the No. 1 seed and finish with the top overall offense, he should have a terrific case.

[prolapsarian]

‘Cat Person’ and Character-Analysis

My ill-advised tuppenceworth on 'Cat Person':

There was a peculiar history in the twentieth century in which, in psychoanalysis, the analysis of the ego turned towards an emphasis on quantitative factors (that is, towards an analysis of ego strength and ego weakness) at key moments. It happened in 1921 in 'Mass Psychology and the Analysis of the Ego', the sister book of 'Beyond the Pleasure Principle' now not amid war but instead subsequent social and economic ruin. It happened again in the writings of Reich, Fenichel, and Freud in the 1930s. Indeed, you can see a longer history of this sort of quantitative ego-analysis as significant to attempts understand the Nazi phenomenon reaching through to the late 1940s. And it appears once again in the 1970s. Needless to say, these are turns that have been made necessary - albeit through the darkest and most labyrinthine paths - by social and economic crisis. And more significantly they have come about as those economic crises have instantiated dominant social modes of the hatred of women, not so much by some abstract patriarchy but by new developments of homosociality, bound up in warriorship, male cliques and confraternities. And needless to say too that these developments have prospered in particular in circumstances of male mass-unemployment or the mass fear amongst men of unemployment. In short, this whole analytic nexus is bound up with women at work ("taking the jobs of men"), and how in periods of economic crisis masculinity can triumph through new extra-liberal communal modes of (anti-)social organisation founded on the hatred of women and violence against them, and from which women and their work is excluded. But from a psychoanalytic view, they are also stories about how these "new communal modes" are founded, in truth, on regression.

The great victory of stories like "Cat Person" - and perhaps the reason for its popularity - is that they inaugurate this question in the time of our own economic crisis - and in particular amongst a generation of men who, over the last decade, have graduated university into a collapsing economy. And although this story might speak in more lulling tones than, say, Jelinek did in the 1970s, the violent backdrop is even more extreme: one of Elliott Rodger-style massacres and the mushrooming of nasty 4chan-based chatter about a "beta uprising”, of “pick-up artistry” and the belief that being a “good guy” is the world’s best justification for being a pig in bed. That is, this story asks the crucial questions: “what are the burgeoning modes of the hatred of women amongst the male precariat? And how do they find their violent expressions?” In one particular way, the story’s diagnosis is extremely precise: in the moments in which it dwells on Robert’s fantasy of Margot’s return to a high school romance. Indeed, the present regressions in male mass culture (especially of the American variety) are founded on an almost constant return to schoolyard identifications, and the paired homoerotic sado-masochistic figures of jock and nerd. Just to add, as I will come to it in more detail, this doesn’t mean this should be responded to by a hatred of homoeroticism - which this regression will turn into; nor does it mean kids straightforwardly enjoy being bullied - and raped, symbolically or otherwise - at school; and nor is it to condemn as barbaric either childhood eroticism in general or sadomasochism. But these schoolyard identifications have been hardened by the discovery that they are already so strong that they present the perfect marketing opportunity to mass-cultural producers. This isn’t to deny that there is a long history in American film and television about the fantasy of the nerdy guy who - by dint of cunning - gets with some conventionally hot woman, who is invariably the butt of all the jokes because she is stupid, and therefore apparently deserves everything that this cunning metes out to her. That history runs from Woody Allen through to The Big Bang Theory. But this type of cultural production - by men, for men - is enormously more prevalent now than it has been at any time before, and it both produces and fulfils these regressive tendencies. They remain the most enormous source of profiteering.

I wrote this back in March on these phenomena, and my views haven’t changed so much, but it gives a more *political* view of how new forms of illiberal male violence play out in this scenario, and how the two figures find themselves bound together: “For people of my generation a lot of what is on offer in the way of websites, TV shows, music separates itself along the lines of "nerds vs jocks." Mass culture finds its market in taking sides in an enormous process of regression: marginal pre-pubescence is the scene of eternal fixation. What follows is some crude sociology: it is intriguing to see how this plays out as a collaboration between the two sides in the strains of contemporary misogyny - on the one side the Jockish Trump type, non-consensual hands everywhere, and on the other the Nerdish misogyny that has developed I guess through trends like "pick-up artistry", the hatred of women because they don't love you unconditionally. Maybe this collaboration between these two types, founded on a single type of psychic formation, marks out also the uneasy collaboration of Government and the Internet alt-right, an army of hateful hidden nerds, who think they are probably just using the likes of Trump and Bannon as avatars. But perhaps what is most striking here is the strength of self-righteousness founded on the feeling of oppression long ago, each side by the other. However much the internet warrior might have a nicely paid job and plenty of resources, he feels hard done by in a culture that seeks to perpetuate forever the violence of the school yard. He sees himself as a figure of vengeance, however little he might be oppressed. Mass culture becomes an arena in which the tensions and contradictions of something like a regressive anality are played out, in a world frozen into unambivalent sado-masochism. Be a man, be ego-weak, the TV bellows!”

Part of what has been most reported, and most interesting about Cat Person story has been the establishment of a sort of culture-war in the responses to it. What has been less spoken about, though, is how those responses have been conditioned by the complex of genitality within a mass-culture that thrives on pre-genital identification. What might in fact be the most provocative moments in this story for a lot of the men who have responded are the depictions of the failing penis: “At the end, when he was on top of her in missionary, he kept losing his erection, and every time he did he would say, aggressively, “You make my dick so hard,” as though lying about it could make it true.” What makes this so provocative is that the regressive forms of mass cultural play on the hyper-ambivalence developed in age towards one’s own pre-genital fixation within the culture. What is constantly produced and sold to and by a generation of men are sorts of cultural objects that both catch them in a homoerotic moment and then fantastically - and aggressively, violently - disavow it. This is to say, that today’s regressive male mass culture, despite being homosocial and indeed homoerotic, is at the same time very deeply homophobic. Yeah, that’s an old story from the 1930s too, but it also explains something of why a lot of people get very jumpy about it, especially when the women’s true fantasy is depicted as being with another guy who shares in laughing at the first’s failed genitality. It turns out, with that laughter, that she hates his anal fixation just as much as he does. Not that this is her fault either.

So who, in the end, is to blame? Maybe all of this sounds like a dodge too (or some verbose resistance) - no doubt it to an extent is, and the message of this little story is more straightforward: it tells men to reflect a bit, be more sensitive to how women are feeling; it adds to the perennial refrain that men need to “work on their shit.” And it does this well - I too found myself reflecting. But I worry that this also misses the mark in certain respects - and most extravagantly in its willingness to submit to the prevailing psychological doctrine that all matters of character can be exchanged for questions of behaviour. All of this, I think, raises the question of what we do about prevailing ego-weakness and its violences today. Traditionally in character-analysis the answers have been pretty poor: there is a hope - and one can read is quite clearly in late Freud - that this sort of illiberal male mass violence in crisis can be solved by the “return to work”. But here I can’t help but to think he is wrong. Yes, the experiment in the west of full-employment liberalism did, in effect, reduce the immediate power of male confraternities and armies over society, but it did this by allowing this violence to quietly return to the home, and by pushing women straight back into the unremitting violence of the home too. This is the history of the 1950s and 1960s, and it was not until the next crisis of employment that the pent up rage against it, by those women who had survived it, was able to be given some expression. Indeed, for all of its hopes of some kind of peacefulness, prevailing liberalism in periods of boom most usually simply institutes processes of social repression - privatising violence within the family - where psychological repression leaves off; while the forces of that violence remain intact. Meanwhile other solutions proffered have been “a new olympic games” (Ernst Simmel), new freer forms of communalist and more sexually free lifestyle (Reich), or simply “education” (for an Adorno immured in the post-war boom).

It seems to me that all of these answers are useless in one way or another - and that the culture does truly require a feminist response. One would hope that it would be as psychoanalytically sensitive as it is violent. I guess to invoke all of this history of character-analysis is rather unfashionable too. Not least because these sorts of arguments fell out of fashion because all sorts of terms - for very good reason - fell out of use. Things like “penis-envy” (and as I quietly have suggested here, in many ways I think this was often a misnomer for work-envy), or “repressed homosexuality”. Nonetheless, these sorts of discussions do - even deprived of vocabulary - offer some scope for addressing the problems of how the crisis of our age is rebounding into hatred and violence against women on a mass scale. In any case, basically I'm well up for a fierce critical discussion of ego-weakness and mass culture. F-Scales at the ready.