#are you trying to help make this place safer for everyone or not. tf.

[deceits-left-glove]

[uh, may I say that the first time I wrote this it was July 30th 2020, because I know for a fact this is just going to sit in my drafts and rot there ;-;]

[ (8/09/2020) hi, presumably authors note here! Thanks to my weird habit of suddenly deciding to write something new and going until I'm falling asleep typing at 3am... I don't remember making this. At all. It kind of appeared in my drafts at one point and I'm just going to go with it. I also have no idea what it's supposed to be but I'm posting it how I found it cos I thought it was funny. You have been "warned". proceed.]

Core four feel guilty af so all try to mend their relationships with the dark sides independently of one another bc they don't know how the other three would react, anyway, the dork sides think they're doing it this way to not overwhelm them or something, (they have no idea that everyones trips have been "secret") but they figure that Virgil would want his headphones back sooner rather than later so they go up to give them back to him and Oop! everyone is in the same room and all four of them think "am I going to have to defend their asses in a second, oh god what if I get kicked out and go live down there with them and I never see these three again! What if that makes something bad happen to Thomas? Oh god oh fuck-" (mhm, even Patton. Having to pick between his famILY's warrants a "fuck" he thinks) and are waiting for the other shoe to drop, while Janus and Remus are just there like "yo, tf is going on why are y'all looking at each other like you're trying to figure out who the murderer is?"

Virgil gets Panic! ked because 'oh shit history is repeating itself has nothing actually changed, I thought we'd had some Growth™ -' and Roman sees this and thinks 'oh shit Virgils history with them is probably all flooding back to him rn, I gotta help him see that everything's gucci-' so he asks lemon and lime to back it up a lil bit. Logan sees this and thinks 'ah yes, how fitting that I have to (verbally) fight Roman about this. Welp, guess I'm loosing a friendship today. That sucks dick.' And (figuratively) ((maybe also literally too, idk)) jumps to the defence of the two and Janus sees this and is like "hold up, did non of y'all know you were all doing the same thing?" And Patton's like "HAHAHA- UM what thing??? Janus???? What????? do you mean??????" And Janus is like "well fuck, I guess you really do need my help with lying, damn. Anyway all of y'all have been coming to vibe w/ us over the last like month, I thought y'all had coordinated it tbh, but apparently not." And during all this Remus snuck a tentacle to Virgo for him to grab onto while he Panic! ing and Roman tried to poke it away at first bc he didn't want Virgil to freak out, but he actually made grabby hands for it so Roman was like 'oh, ight I guess that works' and took his other hand cos they want him to know that both sides of his family still vibe with him, no matter what.

Also Virgil happy cries a lot when he starts to go and chill with them BC he has Nostalgia and crying is a good thing sometimes.

Also also Raman cries a lot in the start too bc he's been having Even More dreams about them together as kids and waking up Extra Sad™ but now he gets to clown about w/ him again and yeah he has to wash his tunic thingy more thoroughly now bc there's almost always dirt or monster blood or slime or something on it but he'd rather wash a billion stains out of his clothes than stop having a good relationship with his brother again

Also also also Patton cries in the beginning BC he still blames himself for everything, so Janus and Remus explain to him that there's nothing that calls for blame to be placed on anyone. Yes Thomas might have been different if Creativity hadn't split, but that could go for worse as well as for better. He might not be able to help the people that he helps now. And also Roman and Remus wouldn't exist, and if he's honest, Remus prefers having someone to fight and bounce ideas off of and bully relentlessly, because Roman can do the same right back, and it's never boring. And that does make Patty feel at least a little better. For now.

Also also also also Logay doesn't really cry, but that makes sense. Not because he's emotion-less, but because the other three have strong emotional ties to the pair, he on the other hand, just has some choice words he could reprimand, so he rants. And rant he does. He rants about how sorry he is and the things he should have done differently. He rants about the others when they get a little too much (Remus likes these, especially when they're about Roman and he can join in) he rants about the sea and the stars and the wonders of the world (not the list, just cool things in general) he rants about philosophy (of course Janus loves these, there have been many debates and once REMUS had to brake up a nearly-fight... They've since avoided that particular philosopher.)

Also also also also also (I need to chill) it ends with a cuddle pile, that started out the same way cuddle piles used to go for the others. Janus, all six arms out, and Virgil curled up facing each other with Remus's front pushed against V's back, a good few more tentacles out and crawling all over the other two, then Roman squeezes his way in next to Virgil and Logan and Patton go to Janus and Remus's other sides (hehehe) perspectively. Logan puts his arm around Jan, and gets one back in return, while Parrot jumps on Remus's back, and his tentacles carry him over so he's laying across the rest of them and giggling. It's so much warmer and safer than any of them imagined it would be...

Logan does cry then, they all do. It makes sense, it's a very emotionally charged moment, for all of them.

It's perfect.

[llazyneiph]

I hate my body but it is because I'm fat, not because I'm trans. I can't even begin to imagine the shit y'all go through with body dysphoria and whatnot. And the danger from phobics...y'all are fucking the strongest people I have ever seen. Ppl are always saying how strong I am for fighting my mental illnesses but damn, trans people are the strongest tbh. Esp ones of color, fuck. Y'all get so much hate idk how you survive. But to all my trans bros and sis, keep fighting you are valid and ily.

im gonna answer this is in two separate parts because I don’t want to just ignore what you said at the start.

i understand the feelings of hating yourself for something you feel like you can’t change, like every time you attempt to start your journey something around you sabotages you. Whether that's being surrounded by unhealthy options or family members that don't support you or even just your own mental health.And I ain’t even talking from a trans perspective, i’m saying this as someone who has successfully lost weight and kept it off. Now of course I don’t know your personal situation, but the way you worded it made it sound like you do want to lose weight. The only thing I found works for me is to just dive balls deep into it straight away. No ‘oh but I ate microwaved kfc chips for breakfast this morning (me lmao)’, or ‘ill start on Monday’. None of that shit, just start. Pairing that with legitimately getting rid of all the stuff around you that you know you will want to eat and also having some form of accountability is the way to go. Set yourself up for success, not failure. And don’t make your goal, ‘i want to be skinny in 6 months’ because that's not going to happen. Set weekly/monthly goals, its amazing to actually meet a goal because its achievable and then you don't want to fck that up so you keep going.  I actually lose weight because I went low carb, only allowed myself 20-25g of carbs a day and I ended up stickin to it because I didn’t wanna mess up my streak lmao. But, weight loss talk aside, your body is a wonderful thing that allows you to experience life. Putting yourself down because you aren’t what you think is the ‘ideal body’ or whatever is just cruel to yourself. Would you let someone else put themselves down or would you try to help them? Why should you not treat yourself the same way you would treat others? Learning to accept and enjoy this incredible thing you’ve been given isnt something that happens over night nor is it easy, theres always gonna be some imperfection that you see because you’re human and it’s what we do. At the end of the day, strive for health. Start the journey when you’re ready to, if you take baby steps then one day you’re gonna look back and realize you can’t even see the place you started from anymore.

As for the other stuff you talked about, every collective is strongest as a group so thats why I think it’s so important to stick together. Especially those of us who are lucky enough to be in stable homes, safer countries, ect. We need to be there for and give a voice to those who need it most, like transpeople of colour, like the people who cant come out because of safety, or like the people who cant access medical stuff. And that definitely includes allowing cishet allies in to support us. I see a lot of LGBTQ+ people just immediately write off a cishet person and say they’re ‘not allowed’ to be an ally. how tf are we supposed to grow stronger as a community when we shut everyone else out? Do we expect cishet people to just learn everything from google and then keep their mouths closed when we talk?a thousand voices are louder than a hundred, and those voices should be made up of both LGBTQ+ AND allies. but yes, transpeople do have to be strong for themselves and I am very proud of my community. but not only that, you are very strong for living with mental illness. takes a goddamn warrior to live with that.

anyway, sorry for going off on a tangent, you ever need to talk, my DM’s are open.

[intothespideyverses]

so I had a season 2b/3 predictions post in my drafts that’s been sitting there since the bar mitzvah episode but now that so many Things have happened I feel like I kinda need to redo it. funnily enough I predicted juffy (but it was one-sided), ham having a midlife crisis (although the midlife crisis was linked to ham having a health scare that caused him to try to ‘live every day like its his last’ and not ham being so Done with his family that he just leaves them for india) and the post also mentions tyrus and g*briel coming back (neither have been been confirmed yet but they’re very likely) so! here’s my New and Improved list of Season 3 Predictions/Ideas:

[Disclaimer: I doubt a lot of this will happen bc my mind automatically goes for the most melodramatic scenario. This is still disney channel and they’re too cowardly to go thru with like half of this tbh. also tw for minor abuse mention!]

The G*briel Plot

-g*be comes back and reminds bex of “””why she can never marry anyone””” just as bowie is about to bring up maybe getting back together again. the reason why they shot a wedding scene and the whole green screen thing is bc bex has a nightmare about marrying bowie but then everyone’s heads turn into gabe’s. the following is literally copy and pasted from the first post and tbh I don’t think things will happen this way anymore (I originally thought miranda wasn’t going to be a snake and that her and bowie would get married, leading bex to run back to g*briel so andi could have a father figure in her life again) but it’s still a p interesting plot I think so: g*be’s an abusive asshole. it’s still disney so I doubt they’d show that much but like…he’s very manipulative and he kisses bex really hard all the time in front of everyone and he’s super possessive, etc. he gives bex the silent treatment every time she hangs out with bowie and thus the whole “ask if they’re mad 3 times” thing and on the third time he always yells at her in front of andi. andi notices all of this and tells bowie but bowie thinks she’s just saying that to break bex/gabe up so she can get back with bowie. that is until he witnesses the tomfoolery himself when the couples are on a double date so bowie takes her aside and starts questioning her but bex lies and this whole ugly thing continues on for several episodes until bex and satan have one last fight that goes too far (he says something about andi probably) thats about to get physical and andi strolls in w/ a phone in her hand like 91 fucking 1 bitch. pack your bags ur going home rat! and he’s finally gone and andi tells bex that she doesn’t need another dad if it means bex puts herself thru that kinda torture. and they have another closure ceremony <3

The Divorce Plot

-ham decides to permanently travel the world. he probably comes back for an episode to get cece to sign them divorce papers. this starts a huge plotline that will probably get ignored after 2 episodes lbr here but we finally see cece SNAP bc the way she’s been behaving lately has definitely been leading up to that

-bex is going off the rails at this. she starts slacking at work and the business that caused the rift in her parents’ marriage in the first place is starting to fall apart. the light bill is going unpaid and bex is crumbling. she doesn’t want anyone to know so she makes andi stay at cece’s while she’s living in darkness. bowie visits one day and is like “tf happened to the lights” and bex has a breakdown. she tells him everything and bowie comforts her and offers to help (how? who the hell knows!). bex is so touched that she admits to having feelings for bowie still. bowie turns her down tho bc she’s in a rly emotional state and doesn’t want to take advantage of her. 

-andi eventually finds out what’s been going on and tells cece. cece is the last person bex wanted to know about cloud ten struggling, as cloud ten was the only thing keeping cece sane. they eventually have a heart-to-heart and bex/andi encourage cece to get some closure from ham

The Wandi Plot/Death of Jandi

-wandi rises. they resolve to just be friends at the end of season 2 but after a lot of things that I’ll mention later, andi realizes walker was the one for her :’). they paint a mural alongside cloud ten and cece makes some offhand comment about them becoming a painting duo, which they LOVE. they go around the town offering to paint on the walls of local businesses and it’s rly cute. god can you imagine the montages?? andi is in puppy love however we have like 5 episodes of her despairing over if walker even LIKES her anymore after months of just being friends. the roles are reversed and she’s the one doing all these things to get his attention. bc he’s not an oblivious Fool like jonah, walker picks up on this relatively fast and wandi is official!!

-that leads us to what will come of jandi? they perish of course. andi starts getting jealous of jonah hanging out with all these high school girls and naturally there’s more and more miscommunication and jonah whines about her friendship with walker etc etc etc just break up already god. andi eventually realizes that she’s just not feeling it and she puts her foot down to bex that he’s just not right for her!! bc tbh at this point the only reason she still fw jonah is bc of bex’s constant encouragement 

The Tyrus Plot

-tyrus happens obviously. if we ever actually get a real apology from tj (which I’m doubting at this point lol) this can happen smoothly. I kinda imagine tj trying to teach cyrus how to swim (swimming is definitely on cyrus’ list of things he can’t do) and the first time it happens tj is SO sure cyrus will be able to do it that he lets him go out on the deep end on his own and uh lmao ya boi almost drowns. buffy’s there and she saves him and she tells tj to stay away from cy bc hello he could’ve McDied and tj, crushed over the fact that cyrus could’ve met a watery grave, actually does what she says. cyrus tells buffy that it was his dumbass decision to go on the deep end tho, and tj didn’t make him do anything he didn’t want to do, so buffy relents. cyrus practices by himself and makes it his goal to learn how to swim in order to impress tj. he invites tj to the neighborhood pool one day as a surprise and he just like...cannonballs into the deep end (but he’s STILL not ready) and again almost fucking dies. tj saves him and he starts yelling at him a la titanic (”you’re SO stupid rose why’d ya do that huh???”) and then tj lets it slip that he would’ve mcfreaking lost it if something ever happened to cyrus bc “you mean a lot to me underdog” or w/e and during this whole rant cyrus realizes that he’s floating!! and he’s like yes bitch i did it im swimming! and tj’s so happy for him that he kisses him and cyrus almost drowns again from shock but it’s all good lol. maybe tj avoids him for a bit after the kiss bc cyrus’ reaction seemed like a rejection, but it wasn’t cyrus was honestly just shook to the core. 

-cyrus lets tj know that he likes him too and they start dating. they definitely keep it a secret from the ghc for a while, probably until the midseason finale. maybe jonah finds out first and that’s how cyrus comes out to him and tells him that he used to have a crush on him too. jonah is flattered and cool w/ it. anyway at first tj doesn’t like going on rly public dates with cyrus, not bc he’s ashamed of him or anything, but bc he doesn’t want anyone to make fun of cyrus (he can take ugly remarks but he’d hulk out if anyone touched a hair on cyrus’ head). cyrus doesn’t care tho and the one time they go on a date, some kids from tj’s school (he’d be in high school by season 3 right?) start messing with them. tj does in fact hulk out but only when one of the demons says something about cyrus. cyrus hauls tj off the creep and they talk in private about not wanting to live in fear but also not wanting to get harassed everywhere they go. when cy tells andi, she tells them that maybe they’d be safer if they went on double dates with her and walker, and so that’s a thing and its cute

The Juffy Plot

-anyway by the season 3b, both wandi and tyrus are thriving. they all hang out a lot leaving buffy to feel like a fifth wheel. she hides it tho bc does she ever express her feelings? she soon finds out that jonah is feeling the same way, and he thinks andi and cyrus don’t rly want to hang out with him anymore. buffy starts inviting jonah to all their outings and anytime the two couples are on a double date or something, buffy and jonah decide to do something else together on their own. cyrus takes note of this and tries to push buffy to ask jonah out since they’re practically dating already but she refuses bc he’s still andi’s ex and that violates girl code or w/e. 

-she goes to bex for advice! but she uses a hypothetical situation instead and changes names. bex, unaware that she’s telling buffy to go after her daughter’s ex, tells her to follow her heart but keep it a secret. meanwhile, jonah is slowly but surely realizing his feelings for buffy, and goes to bowie for advice. bc jonah’s a fool, he doesn’t know buffy has any feelings for him whatsoever, and he asks bowie how he can make her see him That Way. bowie, recycling ideas, tells him to perform a song for her but to do it as if he was just practicing and wanted to see if she thought it was a good song. jonah also doesn’t tell bowie that this is all for buffy lol. 

-so jonah invites buffy to the record store to hang out while wandi and tyrus are doing wandi and tyrus things. he plays some song for her (chemistry perhaps?? i still haven’t heard it yet but if its as good as y’all say...) and buffy is all heart eyes!! until she assumes that he wrote that song for another girl. there’s more unnecessary tiptoeing and drama for an episode until jonah notices that there’s something Up with buffy (she started avoiding him) and demands to know what’s going on. she doesn’t feel like talking about fEeLiNgS so instead he challenges her to arm wrestle. if she wins, she has to fess up. buffy’s like “um?? so all I have to do is let you win” but jonah’s like “like you would ever do that lmao”. she almost lets him win but bc he starts taunting she slams his mf arm into the table!! she fesses up and jonah’s like :D bc duh bitch that song was for you this whole time. they keep it a secret bc of bex’s foolish advice but eventually cyrus finds out and tells them to tell andi. andi’s upset at first but she gets over it. the three couples live in harmony 

The High School Plot

-we see more of the high school now that jonah (and tj?? unless he has to repeat a grade which is seeming likely actually) are there. jonah, who’s used to being the big man on campus, gets bullied for liking frisbee so much and is shamed into doing a “real sport” instead. he hates it and is miserable. he puts on a good face for the ghc bc he doesn’t want them to know he’s struggling. it eventually all comes crashing down when he has another panic attack (the first one in a while after starting therapy WHICH HE BETTER). also we get a look at his home life, I hc that he’s adopted and has a lot of foster siblings that have a lot of their own issues, so he constantly downplays his own bc he doesn’t want to be a “burden” and be abandoned again

-amber becomes a part of the crew and hopefully maybe just maybe is a lesbian. she starts hanging out with a bunch of sapphic baddies. she and jonah become friends and they help each other with their respective mental illnesses 

-through jonah, buffy makes friends with the high school track lesbians <3 they adopt her. one of them tho is Evil and is jealous that some middle schooler is getting all of this attention from the captain so she tries to break buffy’s fucking leg akjhskjdhds I told y’all this was melodramatic 

das it. disney you can send my paycheck to [redacted] within 10-12 business days.

[weapon13whitefang]

The Walking Dead 8x13 Things

I’m just gonna get this out of the way - I don’t think Dwight’s arrow was tainted, but if Tara dies at the end of this season, then I’m gonna be raging so hard and it might be what takes me from a fan to a backseat casual viewer. Because I’m sick of this shit with killing off LGBTQA+ people on this fucking show. Even if “their arc was wrapped up”, I don’t care. Alisha, Denise, Eric, and now Tara? I’m not okay with that anymore. I wasn’t okay with Denise and now I’m really not okay if it’s Tara.

Eric I’m very upset about for Aaron, but I’m hoping it leads to the Jesus/Aaron romance by S9 like in the comics because I do rather enjoy that pairing and Paul needs a boyfriend and Aaron needs someone as full of heart as him... I’m gonna go on a ramble so I’ll shit up on that.

My point isssss... STOP KILLING THE BLACK PEOPLE AND LGBTQA+ PEOPLE!!

Okay! Moving on to more shit.

Back to Tara... I keep seeing a lot of people say that Tara’s arc is ending. That she’s going to be killed because she’s not needed anymore and has no use... I don’t believe that at all.Because Tara is still a use... Because of Oceanside.

Tara is a connection to Oceanside with Cyndie. Right now, Aaron is trying to get Oceanside to work with him and the others for the war against Negan. See if he can rally the troops. With Natania killed by Enid, Cyndie has taken over as the new leader. Oceanside follows her lead. She is the one that can turn her people to help take down the Saviors.

But right now Cyndie is hurt and angry. Her grandmother was killed by Enid. Natania was making choices, killing whoever she could find that encroached the Oceanside territory. Enid didn’t have to kill her, but she did to save herself and Aaron. It was Natania or them. There could’ve been another choice, sure. But a choice was made. And it hurt Cyndie. That was her family, no matter if she was in the right or wrong. And Cyndie made a choice to not kill Enid and Aaron and let them go... Just like she did with Tara.

Right now, the only person that Cyndie has a decent connection to is Tara. Aaron is trying to connect to them and make a connection. But Aaron might not be able to alone. These women are wary of men. Aaron may be gay, but he’s still a male and that trust is going to be hard for Cyndie to reach for. Especially with Aaron being with Enid when Natania died.

So here’s what’s possible. Aaron may return to the fray and need help with things. Or Tara decides to go for help. Oceanside had people willing to fight and Cyndie has a relationship of some trust with Tara already. Tara is the one who can truly bridge Oceanside and TFs group together for the final fight. aron might be the one to bring them all to the battle, but Tara is the one who can close the bridge. Thus why I personally feel like she’s still got a story to work through.

Now I could be wrong and Tara is approaching death. It won’t be from Dwight’s arrow - again, don’t believe he poisoned his arrows and he shot her to save her from Simon - and this is going to be important for Simon and Tara. And also for Daryl.

See Tara’s story still connects to Daryl. Tara and Daryl and Dwight and Rosita have the strongest connection. I keep seeing people say that Tara is too forgiving of Dwight, but Tara’s not. She hasn’t forgive Dwight for killing Denise. She will always have hate in her heart for him and what he did to Denise... But she saw him as she saw herself.

The argument between Daryl and Tara in 8x13 was interesting because it was a full circle connection for Tara... And it also brought up something weird

Daryl: Hey... You shouldn't be out here. Tara: Oh it's just.. It's just a scratch. I can help. Daryl: What if it wasn’t? Tara: Then it'd be my own damn fault. He’s back with them because of me. Daryl: No, he’s back with them because that’s who he is. Tara: We got lucky. Finding Maggie, Rick. It could have been different. It was for me, when I was with the Governor. Daryl: Yeah, but you weren’t one of them. Tara: But I was with them. Your brother too. Daryl: My brother? My brother ran the wrong way his whole life. If he were here, if I’d stuck with him when he left, we’d be with the Saviors too. Or some other group just like them. But I’d have figured out who they were, just like you did. Tara: Maybe that’s what happened to Dwight. Daryl: Is that before or after he killed your girl? Or is that all square now? Tara: It is. Look, I might hate him forever, but he saved my life. Daryl: No, he tried to kill you last night. Tara: When we were in the woods, when we were coming here, I saw him try and help us win. Daryl: Yeah, I saw what I saw too. 

In the argument, Tara brings up Merle. This was both delightful to me because I love Merle... But it makes no sense. Why? Because Tara never met Merle. Tara met the Governor after Merle was killed, after the Governor lost the to Rick and Woodbury fell. How would she know about Merle? Unless Daryl or someone has explained everyone's history to her... Even so, she didn’t know Merle and wouldn’t have known him from cow shit vs horse shit.

Even Daryl seems a bit surprised by Tara mentioning Merle. He’s actually kind of defensive and against using Merle in the topic because to him, Merle was always on a path that’d get himself in trouble or killed. Because that’s who Merle was... But that’s wrong in a sense.

Merle fucking KNEW how the Governor was. He knew how Philip played. It’s why he lied about killing Michonne. It’s why he was so amped up to kill the guy. He knew that the Governor was bad news a long time ago. He was sticking around because he owed Philip and he needed the man to get the resources to find Daryl again. To see of his brother was still alive. Merle made reckless and cruel choices under the Governor, but you can see he wasn’t necessarily okay with them. He did what he had to because he believed that was how he found Daryl. Merle was an enigma. He even said so himself that he didn’t understand the thigs he did. Just that he did them. But even so, 90% of the time - ten percent being when Merle was high on the roof and when he didn’t know TF was still alive - Merle did what he did to be with Daryl and find him. Would Merle have ended up with someone like Negan? To save his and Daryl’s ass, probably yes. He would’ve done what he needed to keep him and Daryl alive. Merle wasn’t dumb. He was a cold survivor. To have Daryl brush Merle off like he’d just go with the next big bad guy... That doesn’t sit right with me at all. Pretty sure Michael Rooker would agree with me as well. For the most part anyway.

(Sorry, got on a rant here)

So using Merle and writing him off like that doesn’t work... And Daryl acting like he’d have just left is wrong too. S1 Daryl was still the Daryl that went around and did whatever Merle said. Merle was going to have him and Daryl rob the camp near Atlanta and then split. If that had gone through, Daryl would still be following Merle and probably end up dead or yes, sticking to a group like the Saviors and backing Merle up. They both would’ve probably wised up real quick, but they’d still be doing what they needed to stay alive and get out.

By S3, yes. Daryl leaving off with Merle and finding a group like the Saviors.. He would’ve wised up to them quick. Even S1 Daryl would’ve. But because Rick took a chance on Daryl in S1 and S2, by S3 Daryl had been allowed to grow out of Merle’s shadow so that kept him from making a choice that lead him and Merle to someone like Negan.

Tara was a different story. She was hauled up in an apartment with her sister and niece and father. the Governor saved her from her father after he turned into a walker. She had no clue about his past, who he was and what he’d done. He was just the guy who saved her. That he was a guy who wanted to help them find a better, safer place. Especially since Tara didn’t really know how to stop walkers until the Governor told her how. She was even one of the first to agree with the Governor to take the Prison from TF. But things weren’t like she was expecting them to be and Rick SAW that. It was Rick who turned to Tara and tried to reason with her. To have her help reason with the Governor. When shit hit the fan, Tara ran away and hid because once she saw the Governor kill Hershel, she realized that she wasn’t where she should be - that she was wrong - and made a run for it.

Tara mentions to Daryl that maybe that’s what happened to Dwight. Daryl sayibg he would’ve wised up and left the bad people he might’ve ended up with, is what Tara did and she believes that is what Dwight did. Which is kind of right. Except Tara didn’t kill people. But she was there and didn’t stop people from getting killed. So in a way, yes. Her and Dwight are similar in that they got blood on them. Dwight killed because he believed that was what he had to do to keep going on and be safe and alive for Sherry. Sherry chose Negan to protect herself and to protect Dwight. When they came back, she went back to Negan so Dwight wouldn’t be killed. He was maimed but he was alive. Negan took a lot from Dwight and it took Daryl and Sherry leaving to really make Dwight realize just truly how much he wanted Negan dead. He even says to Simon that, yeah, he thought about killing Negan. But he was surviving. Sherry was too. But Sherry had enough and ran. Because Dwight was surviving to a point he was no longer the man she loved. That pushed Dwight. Her saving Daryl. Meeting Daryl... That all changed Dwight. Or at least snapped him back to who he was meant to be; a better man.

. Daryl can’t see that though. Some people say that Daryl wants to kill Dwight because of what he did to Denise... But there’s more to it than that. Before Daryl even came across Dwight, he was having nothing but shit luck on saving people. He was still trying to be a good person like Aaron said he was. Like Beth and everyone knew he could be and he was. But then Daryl couldn’t save Button the horse, he was already hurt from loosing Beth and Tyreese and Noah, and then he tries to help Dwight and Tina and Sherry and they knock him out and tie him up and take his stuff from him while holding a gun to his head. That was enough for Daryl. Dwight and them get away, sans Tina, and Daryl is left angered that he went back to help these people with Tina’s insulin and they still fuck him over. Flash forward, he meets Jesus and Hilltop and he goes with Rick on killing a whole damn community in their sleep because, to him, there aren’t good people anymore and fuck everyone. So he helps kill this community. Jump forward, he takes Denise out with Rosita to help her get the medicine... But also because Denise WANTED Daryl and Rosita because - as she says - he reminds her of her brother and makes her feel safe. Right after she says that and chews him out, she gets shot WITH HIS OWN FUCKING CROSSBOW by Dwight, who he TRIED TO HELP AND FUCKED HIM OVER. Daryl’s anger over Dwight fucking him over and getting one of the few good people he believes exists killed sets Daryl off and he goes off on his own in anger to find Dwight and kill the bastard. But that gets Glenn out there with Michonne and Rosita. They can’t bring him back and Rosita and Daryl get captured with Glenn and Michonne. Then TF gets lined up and whose with the Saviors and WHO shot him? Dwight again. Dwight was a big reason that Negan knew about Daryl and his group. He was a part of the reason that Abe gets killed and while I don’t believe he was the main reason Negan killed Glenn - because Negan was WAY to happy to kill again, he just needed someone to pop off and thought it might be Rosita - and now another good person and HIS DEAR BEST FRIEND is bludgeoned to death like a rat before him and Daryl is swallowed in guilt. He’s scooped up by Negan and he’s tortured by the saviors AND Dwight. Dwight is the one who sleep deprives Daryl, shoves dog food at him, gets him beat up, and pushes him around like a dog. Daryl admits to Dwight that he gets why he did what he did, but that doesn’t square away everything that Dwight has done to him and his people.

So Daryl’s anger for Dwight - all lined up - makes sense and him not being able to see good people and being ready to just fucking murder all the saviors without care... It makes sense. And for awhile he had an ally with Rosita and Tara. But after loosing Sasha, Rosita started to see that her rage and anger were gonna get her killed. She wanted Dwight and Negan dead. But she wasn’t gonna run off to get herself killed or get others killed. Tara and Daryl were still ready for blood. Dwight’s blood... But Dwight had hos own journey and wanted to help take Negan down. Daryl knew that too or he wouldn’t have sent the letter to Dwight with the ��Tomorrow” on it. Daryl keeping Dwight alive shows restraint on his mind set. But right now wasn’t the time to murder Dwight. The man was still gonna die but other pressing matters were on his mind... But Tara wasn’t there. She wants the man dead and Dwight knows that... But he still saves her. He was ready to sacrifice himself. But nobody had known about his betrayal to Negan so he now had a way back into the Saviors. He could save Tara, lead them away from TF and get back to help them while being on the enemy line. A line he knew well. And Tara saw all this. Dwight told her he wanted Negan dead and he showed her he was on their side by jmping out, ready to die.

But Daryl can’t see that. Dwight is only looking out for himself. All he does is get people killed because he’s bad and he deserves to die. It’s why he brings up Denise to Tara. To him, those that take from him - take his good people - deserve to die. We saw this with Dawn at Grady. Dawn “shot” - no she didn’t, it was someone else but sure let everyone believe it was Dawn - Beth down and Daryl - point blank - shot her down because one of his own - someone he loved whether in a romantic way or a friend - was just taken and shot down before him so he took care of who he saw got her killed. Daryl cared about Denise, he liked her, he was growing a true friendship with her and she believed in him protecting her... And Dwight killed her with his own weapon. That’s really heartbreaking for Daryl but it’s also a fuel to that rage of his. If Daryl loves you, he loves you forever. He loved Denise in a way just as he loved Abe in a way and loved Glenn in a way. Dwight helped get them killed so Dwight deserves to die. That’s how Daryl is right now. The Saviors get his good people killed, gets the ones he loves killed. They deserve to die. So he can’t see how Tara sees things... Because Tara is seeing herself in Dwight, seeing their similarities. Daryl probably feels betrayed about Tara seeming to be so easy to “square away” things with Dwight on what he’s taken from Tara. To him, that doesn’t resonate because Daryl is too angry. There’s Them and Us in Daryl’s book and Tara defending Dwight as an Us makes no sense.

So now Tara and Daryl are on different sides of one road.They’re both on the road to fight the Saviors. But Tara isn’t in the mindset to murder everyone. She’s ready to see a future. She doesn’t know what that future is yet, but she’s going to be able to see one where she’ll never forgive Dwight, but she believes he’s trying to help and is on their side. Daryl is on the rage and death side of the road against the Saviors. He’s with Rick. There is no future. Just death and destruction.

With Tara now being open eyed, her story can now move on to a future and helping lead to a true win for TF. That’s why I believe she is still a key player in this war. She is still a key to helping bring in Oceanside. I truly feel that... I could be wrong. I’ll accept that. But right now, Tara isn’t over yet. She’s gonna live and she’s gonna help the future. Her meeting Oceanside was leading to this. In the comic, Siddiq is the one who discovers Oceanside and the one who tells Rick about the community. Now Tara has taken this role and Siddiq is present to take over as medical help. In the comic, the Oceanside pretty much stay to themselves the whole time. I don’t believe this will be the same here. The Saviors took a lot from the women of Oceanside and now they have a chance to make them pay for that... But they need someone to help pull them in. Aaron and Tara can be that.

So no. Tara isn’t gonna die. I feel that much... I’ve been wrong before on characters, but I’m really hoping that ain’t the case now.

Overall I liked this episode. But this scene has been eating at me with Tara mentioning Merle and then Daryl not seeing Tara’s side and also because of everyone talking about how Tara is gonna die and people hating on her... I had a lot of thoughts to share.

Also, someone fucking slap Henry. Damn kid... Fuck.

On a TD note, I also personally feel that Tara and Siddiq are gonna be key players in finding Beth or a part of what brings Beth back. Call it a feeling I can’t really explain right now. But for awhile now, especially after Denise died, Ive felt that Tara is gonna be art of Beth’s return if she is returning and same with Siddiq.

[jukaizek]

TL;DR just found out about my neptune actually being in the 1st house instead of the 12th (kinda still a noob with this natal shit so i probably dk what im talking about😂)

//sorry for long post dump but idk how tf to cut this shit short in mobile and already ran out of pages in my journal ages ago so yay for public rambling. barely got any sleep so already forgot 90% of what i said-- can you spell regret//

for the longest time i was attached to the idea of having it in the 12th house because i wanted it to make sense. and its kinda ironic cause the more i read about the qualities of a 1st house neptunian, the more i realized why i even wanted my illusion to be part of my identity so badly-- i had no "real" identity to cling on to. just constantly lost. lost to who i really am as person. so much so that i unconsciously started chasing whatever image everyone else has been trying to project onto me. tried to be the ideal person they wanted to me to be, or thought i was. it was pretty easy since apparently 1st house nepts are impressionable and tend to absorb emotional tones of their surroundings. even their tastes and views get warped into the people they surrounded themselves the most with.

when i look at my chart and see the number, read about it countless of times, i didnt get any of my answers. i thought lucid dreaming 24/7 and having vivid dreams in general checked it off as accurate but i never really understood the rest of the stuff the descriptions had as well. i was unsure about all the "spiritual" bs and "being so out of touch with reality cause ive transcended this plane of existence" just never stuck to me. they never sounded right, as much as i wanted to have all of those qualities. i started having dreams where i feel like i was being warned about something to come-- and the dreams about my brother's accident was the final push that tipped me further into believing the "psychic" shit of that placement lmao. still, i wanna believe some part of that applies.

im trying to figure out how tf this confusion even happened in the first place. i used a bunch of birth chart calculators and half would say 1st house while the other the 12th. and the latter just happened to be the first version i recorded when i started out delving deeper into my natal chart.

now ive got mixed feelings about it. bummed cause ive spent so much time taking that shit too seriously that ive idealized the placement too much-- relying on it to manifest itself perfectly somehow instead of figuring it out internally. but happy that i learned more. and should probably stop doing the rest to my other placements from here on.

a lot of things make more sense to me now. like how both my saturn in 3rd and jupiter in 3rd gives me deep-rooted issues when it comes to communication/expressing my thoughts fluently. i was always so frustrated at how i couldnt get the exact shit i had on my mind out. insecure and jealous of other piscean mercury natives cause i couldnt apply the same placement in my chart as well as i thought i should have been able to. my lack of confidence turning a conversation i shouldve been naturally so passionate about to laconic ass interactions. its just so unnecessary. like why am i even fucking anxious about butchering my own self expression in the first place. coming out so off base that others would get the wrong idea? or maybe worse case, id offend people when i didnt mean to. so afraid of how it will come out that i cant even form a cohesive sentence in person. probably why it's so easy for neptune in the 1st people to be molded into other people's ideal personas in the first place. it feels safer to just submit-- driving my scorpio mars INSANE cause it just gives people the impression that "not having opinions" = idgaf about how they treat me. which is why im thankful for my aries sun (also in the 3rd--100%talkative child in a nut)to at least make up for that pussy mentality and just punch myself inside into submission until i forget my fears and just wallow in regret later 😂. gotta love that ego-seesaw stg

also explains why i seem to attract different types people like magnets for only so long until they finally realize how far off their first impression of me really was. or they're just straight up as confused as i am lmao. aqua dom/ uranus in the 1st / venus gemini doesnt help either cause of course my fickle ass cant resist switching shells and faces real quick or else i die out of boredom.

and neptune isnt even a major planet so idk why im getting so worked up about anything😂

anyways, gonna go back to reading about it some more cause i still cant believe my lazy ass somehow didnt figure to check it out more closely even when i first started having doubts about that placement years ago.

[bethgreeneishopeunseen]

Beth's small green diary/journal

Do you remember Beth’s green colored small diary/journal she had with her from season 3 (Though, it was never really shown but her narration from 4x10 does indicate that she had it in her possession during season 3) to season 4B? I remember from her narration of 4x10, she used her voice to recap the events from the end of season 2 and throughout season 3. She mentioned Lori and her pregnancy with Judith. I don’t know about you but for me, I feel like that specific diary/journal entry she wrote and narrated about in 4x10 is a key and plays a vital role for her to finding Rick, Maggie, Daryl and everyone else from TF (excluding Tyreese, Sasha, Bob, Abraham, and Glenn because they passed away. R.I.P btw), I mean I think she must’ve written other diary/journal entries that isn’t just the one she narrated. If you remember from the first episode of season 4A, Daryl walked to her and see her writing down something on her journal. Idk Taylor but knowing Scott Gimple and the evil tricks and weird tactics he has on his sleeves, the good question to always ask yourself: “Why would Gimple make Beth narrate the events from the end of season 2B and throughout season 3 when it’s not necessary and no other character has done that except her?” And of course, being TD like you, the answer is none other than the fact that Beth’s alive, like duh!

One last thing I want to include in this post so that you, BethGreeneWarriorPrincess, and the rest of TD members and your followers as well can see. Knowing that Tyreese died somewhere in a woodsy area that isn’t too far from Grady but I know for sure it’s in Virginia where Noah’s community was. Rick and TF dug a grave for Tyreese and put his beanie on the cross in some grassfield around the woods area. I feel like we’ll go back to where he was buried as Beth. I think that she’ll see that as the sign that her family had been there before and will probably see that as the first sign leading up to them. Of course, I think she’ll be able to tell that it’s Tyreese’s grave because of his beanie hanging from the wooden cross but I’m not sure. What do you think? What are your thoughts and opinions?

——————————————————————————————————–

“Hey, I know it’s been awhile, and I’m going to be honest. I forgot about you. After the farm, we were always moving. But something happened…something good, finally. We found a prison. Daddy thinks that we can make it into a home. He says we can grow crops in a field, find pigs and chickens, stop running, stop scavenging. Lori’s baby is just about due. She’ll need a safe place when it comes. The rest of us, we just need a safe place to be. I woke up in my own bed yesterday…my own bed in my own room. I’ve been keeping my backpack, keeping my gun close. I’ve been afraid to get my hopes up, thinking we can actually stay here. The thing is I’ve been starting to get afraid that it’s easier just to be afraid. But this morning Daddy said something. If you don’t have hope, what’s the point of living. So I unpacked my bag, and I found you. So I’m gonna start writing in you again. And I’m gonna write this down now because you should write down wishes to make them come true. We can live here. We can live here for the rest of our lives.

[…] We’re not going to die…none of us. I believe now. I believe for Daddy. If this doesn’t work, I don’t know how I could keep going.”

Beth’s diary means so much to me because it reveals so much about her character and how human she is. It’s important.

With that in mind, I think Gimple included the entry for several reasons. He considered the diary important. In the 4x01 commentary, he revealed that when Daryl came to see her, Beth was writing about a trip she had taken to Atlanta (X). Not only does that show how much Gimple values her character, but it also foreshadowed Grady, her next “trip to Atlanta”. (There was also a birdcage in her bedroom with a number “4” inside of it, referring to Slabtown: X.) 

By using a voiceover, which is rare in the show, TPTB called attention to this entry. A “look, this is important!” moment. The entry foreshadowed Alexandria and the other communities in Virginia, where the group is finally able to put down roots so to speak, as well as Maggie’s pregnancy. Because with Glenn gone, it’s just Maggie’s baby. (Notice that Beth only wrote “Lori’s baby” as the group knew of the affair and uncertain paternity.) And Lauren even said that Maggie is trying to build a safe hold for the baby (X), so there’s another thread. Maggie’s sonogram picture also included numbers that referenced issues #35 and #44, both of which allude to Beth through her associations with the comic characters of Alice and Andrea (X). 

Beth will be taking Alice’s escape arc, as she was a nurse-in-training who escaped from Woodbury, and I think Beth will also be her sister’s midwife, assisting Dr. Edwards. Alice helped Lori through birthing Judith, so it’s not unreasonable that Beth would be there for her sister. Gimple was recently on a Talking Dead special this summer and brought up Maggie’s pregnancy (X):

“Hardwick used a question from fans to ask the showrunner if Maggie’s baby would arrive before Season 8 comes to an end. Surprisingly, Gimple completely answered the question. “Maggie’s baby will not be born is Season 8,” Gimple said. “But anything’s possible.”” 

In the comics, we never see the baby be born due to the time jump after the All Out War arc. The baby, Hershel Jr., is about a year old when readers first see him on page. But I’m not sure if the show writers would waste an emotional moment of Glenn and Maggie’s being born, who is living proof of Glenn’s legacy. Gimple is a nerd and very involved with his work, in interviews he tends to give detailed explanations. I can understand being tight-lipped about the upcoming season, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he lied in order to preserve a secret. If Beth is connected to Maggie’s pregnancy, I can understand him finding any reason to avoid the topic then. Better to not talk about it at all than risk giving something away.

Furthermore, the diary entry stung for the audience because it reminded them of how much the characters had lost and showed them how much Beth had lost. Because Beth was still relatively unknown to viewers. It introduced us to her internal world and narrative. She’s so astute and she always has been. At seventeen she recognized that what the group needed was some psychological shelter, a place where they could stop running and just process what had happened to them in the past year. From seasons 2 to 3, most people wrote her off as a red shirt, and by pulling back to that time, Gimple is showing them that they’re wrong. Beth was always a complex character, a strong young woman. She just hadn’t had the chance to speak yet. 

Reread the end of the entry again: “We can live here./We’re not going to die.” Those lines reflect Beth’s deepest wishes. This summer my brother and a family friend were watching this episode, and after the voiceover played, they dismissed the entry and Beth as “naïve”. Which, is just a totally wrong reading of her character and the text. Beth knew that they were all on borrowed time, even then. She wasn’t writing out her actual thoughts about their survival, she was writing down her wishes. She just wanted all of them to live and to have some goddamn peace. The diary entry is a rehearsal for Beth’s confession on the porch, where she reveals to Daryl that she just wanted her father to live the rest of his life in peace, to see her sister and brother-in-law start a family, to have some holidays like real people. The last paragraph in the diary further serves to undercut viewers’ perception of Beth’s “naïvety” by having her acknowledge it herself! Even then Beth knew that it probably wasn’t going to happen! She believed but she believed for her father, not for herself. She needed something, she needed a will to keep going. Beth made it through her depression and suicide attempt, but speaking from personal experience, you don’t just walk away from that kind of shit without ghosts, without a shadow over you. Beth made it through her depression, but she had to make the choice to do so every single fucking day.

“I’ve been keeping my backpack, keeping my gun close. I’ve been afraid to get my hopes up, thinking we can actually stay here. The thing is I’ve been starting to get afraid that it’s easier just to be afraid.”

And honestly. I have C-P.T.S.D., which is slightly different and more complicated than general P.T.S.D., but Beth just described my life at the moment. I was abused and betrayed by my entire immediate family, betrayed my close friends. It often feels like my entire world has ended. And I get scared of what would happen if I let people in, and I often have fantasies of living in a big houseboat one day with my cats and sailing off, alone for my whole life. Because that’s safer than people. Beth has P.T.S.D., and she knows that to an extent. She realizes what the apocalypse and what all its traumas have done to her, how she’s changed from the innocent girl she was. But she doesn’t let that girl go. She holds onto this part of herself, but she builds an armor around her to keep her alive. That “just another dead girl” part of Beth will fucking outlive everything.

… Anyway, in regards to the second part of your ask, I do think it’s possible that Beth could come across Tyreese’s grave and recognize the beanie. He would be buried relatively close to Richmond, and from there she would infer that her family probably moved onward. Though I’m not sure if TPTB would do that because Beth doesn’t have much of an emotional connection to Tyreese, onscreen anyway. Tyreese was mostly affected by her death because he felt responsible for it, as he suggested the peaceful hostage exchange. We’ll just have to wait and see.

[corvidexoskeleton]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

What got me thinking about this was I was thinking back to when I posted that fallout ought to be using rad-powered trains, and I figured that if anyone could benefit from having a functioning rail system, it would be nuka world. I mean, they’ve already got the monorail to the commonwealth, with some modifications or improvements, they could get a lot of use out of it. It’d be easier to transfer resources to and from the place, and it would be a safer way for people to travel there to trade

The same could be said for the MM and just regular people in general. If there’s a rail system set up, it would be easier, quicker, and safer for people to travel, and traders wouldn’t need to worry so much about losing their shit. Of course, then we’d just end up with raiders targeting the railways instead of just roads, but they’re a threat no matter what

But roads would probably be the most obvious thing, since everyone needs to use the roads regardless of who they are or what they’re doing, and idk about you, but actual maintained roads seem a lot safer than the ripped up, crumbling, and overgrown asphalt of what’s left of pre-war roads like seriously, how tf have people not done something about those in 200 fucking years? Or even just gone and made new “roads” just from the amount of foot traffic on whatever paths people have made over the years?

And then there was everything Dr. Li said about the Institute having the resources and technology to make life better for people above ground but not using it. So I figure that actually using what they have to help people would be pretty high on Darryl’s to-do list once she can dispel some of the fear about the organization. Offering modified crops, ways to increase yield, and other tools to make agriculture easier being one of the main things. Then they can also offer medical assistance, supplies, more tools, maybe sending a doctor or three to more rural areas, and, like you mentioned, education. Because while I’m sure a lot of the wasteland doctors do know what they’re doing to a degree, it wouldn’t hurt to give them some proper training. And they can offer education for more than that, but this is mostly basics

Was also thinking about the Institute/MM maybe trying to revive the use of boats and ships, at least along the river and streams if not over the ocean, since water travel is another good alternative to hauling carts along ripped up roads. Or maybe they could figure out some ways to make ocean travel safer, depending on how dangerous the ocean has become since the war it can’t be THAT bad, can it? Mirelurks are an issue, sure, but they seem to stick close to land, so maybe if you’re far out enough, they won’t be much of a problem? Besides that, I don’t really see why  sea travel would be much more dangerous than it already is. But I guess they don’t really have any reason to revive actual sea travel, so I guess they’d have to stick close to land even if they were to travel to other parts of North America

Anyways. I agree that the nuka raiders probably wouldn’t be super thrilled about having to put in the work to do any of these things, and Hector said no more slaves, so they can’t do that either. I was thinking that a lot of the planning would be done between the three (or is it two, technically? Would the MM and the Institute still be separate once Darryl is in charge of both? Probably not tbh) factions, as well as working with Diamond City, Goodneighbor, and possibly some more prominent towns. I feel like nuka world would end up mostly supplying resources and other stuff via trade, because afaik the Institute either makes what they need, or scavenges it, so if they expand and start doing things for more than themselves, they might not have all the resources needed on hand, whereas nuka world is a literal trade hub and would have better access to the things needed. And then again like you mentioned, the MM ends up doing more hands-on stuff like actually getting supplies and tools out to people and helping put things together

Oooh wait, between the Institute's tech & knowledge, nuka world's access to resources and trade, and like just the MM in general, once certain positive changes have been made to both factions, Darryl and Hector are in a position where they could theoretically pool resources to actual make changes to things outside of their respective groups (like actually using Institute tech to help people, fixing roads/railways, working on fixing some of the damage from the war, just to name a few)

Hell yeah now we’re talking!

I think it would be really neat for the Institute to start operating a bit like the Followers of the Apocalypse, providing medical services and education to those who need it. Plus a bit of rebranding is very much needed for the people of the commonwealth to trust them with anything.

The Followers also give agricultural instruction but I feel like that would be better situated with the Minutemen. Or something like the Institute giving out modified high yield crops (like their experiment at Warwick Homestead) along with instructions on how to care for them, with the Minutemen giving more hands-on support.

Basically I’m picturing the Institute being the party to supply tools and knowledge, researching solutions for problems as they crop up. And the Minutemen being the ones to get their hands dirty distributing those tools, making sure they’re put to good use and protecting them.

I’m not entirely sure about the raiders, they’re probably a mix of everything. Working with the Institute to get the most out of the fancy tech at nuka world, strength and firepower to protect allies, but also be on the offensive and take care of problem groups (and raiding them) before they do any damage. I’m not sure how Hector would be able to sell fixing roads and railways outside of their territory, or rather if the argument ‘we’re helping others so they get better at producing shit for us’ works on them. Then again they probably can’t be convinced to do manual labor like that anyway and they’re just the ones helping provide resources through their access to trade. Which means they get caps for their resources and those do enough talking. And if out of that emerge roads and railways they can also benefit from, they’re gonna feel like they had the upper hand in that deal so it all works out.

[thegloriouscollectorlady]

Dwight/Daryl Parallels Pt.2

This is the second part of the Dwight/Daryl Parallels and it is actually the part that contains spoilers:

Continuing on with the Dwight and Daryl parallels I want to examine 7.3 “The Cell”.  The Cell starts off with Dwight watching “Whose the boss” having a grand old time. It’s roughly two months or so since he went back to the Sanctuary and had his faced ironed and it’s healed and he is now one of the big baddies. He’s no longer working for points instead he’s taking things from everyone and having a grand old time. . . or at least he appears to be considering his super hot wife is now part of Negan’s harem and he’s had to kill turning him into someone he doesn’t know anymore. It can almost be surmised looking back that Denise was probably/ possibly the first human that Dwight killed. It can also be surmised that Dwight possibly made himself useful to Negan by telling him about Daryl and the community Daryl told him about. Considering a lot of Negan’s men were suddenly turning up dead the ones that chased TF in Always Accountable, the motorcycle gang, and the outpost I am sure it didn’t take much for Negan to put the pieces together which sent Dwight out looking for Daryl and company in the first place. But I digress from the fact that Dwight is watching  “Whose the boss” because the entire theme of the episode becomes exactly that. At the beginning of the episode it looks like Dwight has become “someone” at the Sanctuary and while it appears that he has some power does he really have any autonomy?

               Throughout the episode Negan treats Dwight like a dog and even says something like “Good boy” to him at one point. They even go so far as to feed Daryl dog food sandwiches highlighting the fact that Negan doesn’t even see his people as human beings. They are all possessions in his mind. Another major theme that runs through this episode is the theme of choices. Much like in AA accept that Dwight has concluded that he no longer has any choices. At one point he says to Daryl that he can be like them or me or them meaning he can be a Savior or dead. He reiterates this later by saying you’re either going to be in that room (the room Negan offers him as a Savior) or on the fence (dead).  Dwight has convinced himself that he no longer has any choices. It’s either the life he is leading or death and to him death is something to be feared above the life he is leading. During The Cell Sherry seems very much in the same mindset as Dwight. She approaches Daryl twice once to tell him “Whatever they say just do it” and a second time while he is trying to escape to tell him “ Go back while you can. You know I did. Whatever he’s done to you there’s more. There’s always more. You won’t get away. When you’re back it’ll be worse”. Again this highlights someone who sees a lack of choices it also indicates that Sherry is still very scared and that she continues to feel that going back is better and safer than moving forward. But she contradicts her own choices by admitting that when you go backwards things are always worse than they were before. Even Sherry’s final conversation with Daryl later is laced with despair. She admits that she wishes that she didn’t try to get away and she says “There are so many things I wish I never found out”. What Sherry wishes she never found out was that there are things worse than death. She wishes she didn’t try because trying had consequences and those consequences were worse than the life she had been leading before. She is admitting that she is sorry she tried not that she is sorry that she took stuff from Daryl. There is a degree of futility that is laced throughout this conversation that cannot be escaped. Was Sherry trying to convince Daryl to give in to Negan or was she simply purging her own demons it’s hard to tell but it could have been either.

               The entire theme of the episode is driven home when Dwight hunts down the guy who ran away. This man was someone who had been with the group from the beginning and who didn’t agree with what Negan was doing. He finally ran away but it seems they only hunted him down because he owed and it can somewhat be surmised that he owed because people like Dwight took things from him (eggs that the man then owed for). The man encourages Dwight to kill him but not before calling him out by saying “You feel.  I remember.”  He’s basically telling Dwight this isn’t you. I know this isn’t you. You can feel things I know you can. You might not be right now but you can. He then goes on to tell Dwight “You’ve won but you know there’s nothing left” meaning you think you’ve won and gotten ahead but at what price. What have you given up to get to this point. Was it worth it? Is this really winning?  Dwight then shoots the man in the back. We are then shown a scene between  Sherry and Dwight where they tell each other “ We did the right thing” and it’s a “Hell of a lot better than being dead” as they try to justify what they are doing. Later Dwight says to Daryl “You got your friend killed. I got Tina killed. Don’t pretend like you don’t know the score” indicating that Dwight feels like he somewhat deserves the predicament he finds himself in. He also tries to justify his choices (ones he tells himself he doesn’t have) by telling Daryl he’s in the same boat. He is so angry at Daryl and wants for him to kneel so desperately because that would validate the choices he himself has made.  It would mean that he wasn’t weak and that he didn’t take the easy way out. When Daryl refuses to say he’s Negan and kneel Dwight becomes irate and starts to tell Daryl it’s the only way before Negan interrupts. For Dwight this is the only path and he desperately wanted Daryl to validate that for him. Then Daryl says to him back in his cell “ I get why you did it. Why you took it. You were thinking about someone else. It’s why I can’t.” Given all the back and forth dialogue between Daryl and Dwight about kneeling and what happened in the previous scene where Daryl refused to say he was “Negan” it can be surmised that Daryl is saying that he understand why Dwight knelt and said he was Negan.  Daryl is offering Dwight compassion in such a selfless way by validating for Dwight what he did even as he denies that it’s something he could ever do. Daryl is saying to Dwight I get it. . . you love her (Sherry) so much that you couldn’t let her die out there and you didn’t think you could make it. . . so you chose this because you thought it was the way to save her. You love her so much that you are putting each other through hell to try to live. It’s not validation of Dwight’s actions but acknowledgement that Daryl gets it. Dwight knelt for Sherry. After saying he never would his love for Sherry is what finally brought him to his knees. For Daryl it was the absolute opposite. He could never have lived with himself if he had betrayed those he loves. To have knelt for Negan would be to betray Glenn and his memory, Maggie because of Glenn, Abe, Sasha, Rick, everyone in the clearing that went through what he did that awful night but even more than that for Daryl to kneel would be to betray the one someone who meant to him what Sherry means to Dwight. Daryl said to Dwight you were thinking about someone else (singular) its why I can’t. The someone else Daryl’s was alluding to would mean to Daryl what Sherry means to Dwight. That is the parallel. There is only one person who has ever uttered dialogue to Daryl that would be applicable to this particular situation and that would be Beth. Way back in S4 she said to him several things of key importance in this scenario. She said to him that he had to put away the bad stuff or it would kill him inside, that he had to stay who he was not who he’d been, and that he’d be the last man standing. Those lines directly influenced Daryl’s reaction here to Negan. He refused to kneel and capitulate to Negan he is literally the last man standing in that regard. He put away all his hurt and pain over Glenn and Abe, he literally cried himself sick over it, and he drew strength from them instead. Finally when asked who he was Daryl declared with absolute conviction that he was “Daryl”. This all directly goes back to Daryl’s conversations with Beth at the moonshine shack.

               After that scene we see a very angry Dwight who realizes that he didn’t have to make the choices that he did. He’s angry at himself and at the choices he’s made but we still don’t see him taking any accountability for what he’s done. Daryl was accountable. He was willing to die to stay true to who he was. Dwight on the other hand is not. So the episode theme comes full circle with the conclusion that no matter what type of power Dwight thinks he now has he isn’t the boss. The boss is Negan and everyone else is just pretending. They have no power other than what Negan allows them. They have no free will, no choices, no options other than what he allows. Dwight has literally sold his soul for the allusion of safety and the thing is that his choices were never what he thought they were. Dwight tells Daryl over and over you either become a Savior or you die. Those were the only choices that Dwight saw. The thing about that though is that becoming a Savior is symbolic death. Dwight’s friend whose on the fence is symbolic of Dwight himself and while it isn’t his literal death it is a symbolic one.  Dwight killing his friend was symbolic of how he’s behaving as a Savior killing his very soul.  Dwight handed all of his power over to Negan and Daryl refused to give Negan any power over him.  

               Moving on the spoilers tell us that Sherry helps Daryl to escape because he reminds her of Dwight. And also because he reminded Dwight of himself and she didn’t want him to have to continue to face the fact that he could have made choices other than the ones he did. She wanted to make it easier for Dwight to forget who he used to be.  Sherry goes on to admit to the fact that it was her choice to go back to the Saviors and that she did it because she didn’t want Dwight to die. He of course made the same decision for the same reasons. She goes on to say but now you’ve killed and become everything you didn’t want to be and it’s my fault.  She says she doesn’t think she is going to make it but that death is better than continuing to live at the Sanctuary. She concludes with “ I loved who you were. I am sorry I made you into who you are.”

               The spoilers paint a very sad picture of two people who loved each other deeply and who made bad decision because they were afraid. Instead of remaining true to themselves they compromised who they were in order to survive and it destroyed them and tore them apart. It was Sherry’s choice to go back to the Sanctuary and she led Dwight down a dark path to his own destruction because he loved her enough to follow her down that road.  In these two characters we get the opposite of Beth and Daryl. Beth tells Daryl “ You gotta stay who you are not who you were” giving him the strength to face death rather than sell his soul to Negan. Sherry encourages Dwight to kneel and then laments that she loved who he was but she’s sorry she made him into someone else. Beth gave Daryl strength. She helped him to grow into a man. She made him better than he was before her. Dwight’s love for Sherry destroyed him and instead of giving Dwight strength she repeatedly encouraged him to compromise himself.  While Dwight is a representation of Daryl the two woman are complete opposites. We see in Beth a woman who couldn’t tolerate injustice. Who had no fear of standing up to it even if it meant she might forfeit her own life. Beth showed strength and fearlessness and a code absolutely compatible with Daryl’s. In Sherry we see a woman who is scared and weak because she doesn’t think she can make it. Her fear for herself and for Dwight causes her to make poor decisions. Beth was beaten at Grady for her unwillingness to go along with the rules, she rebelled at every opportunity, she killed her would be rapist, she was willing to sacrifice her own life to fight against injustice, and she stated over and over again rather emphatically that she was going to make it. In Sherry we see a woman who sells her soul for the allusion of safety and then runs away when she realizes that there are things worse than death. Beth is taken from Daryl not once but twice. She tells him right before that she isn’t going to leave him and he replies that he will meet her up by the road. When he gets there she has been taken. After following her and finally finding her again she is taken from him once more.  Sherry leaves Dwight not once but twice. The first time when they go back to the Sanctuary and she offers to marry Negan if he will spare Dwight and the second time when she runs away from the Sanctuary and leaves him a note at their old house instead of waiting for him to follow her there.

               If Dwight and Daryl are the same man and the writers expressly tell us they are (as if the clothing and everything else wasn’t enough of a clue) then the difference in these two men and where their stories diverge is in the woman that they love. Dwight’s love for Sherry led him to take a knee and started him down a road he himself has said there is no coming back from. Even if Dwight turns against Negan and tries to redeem himself he will always have to live with the things he has done and his love for Sherry will turn bitter due to his own self-recrimination. Instead of their love making them stronger it tore them apart. Sherry has stated over and over again that she doesn’t think she can make it and when people say that on TWD it usually means that they won’t. She also very much appears to be Daryl’s Noah. Noah also expressed that he didn’t think he would survive and he did not.  Dwight hasn’t yet admitted accountability for his choices or actions. Until he does so his character will not experience growth. Even then if Sherry and Dwight’s paths are diverging because their love destroyed them then Daryl’s and Beth’s should converge if this is a true parallel. Daryl’s love for Beth gave him the strength to stand up against Negan and the reason her love did that has nothing to do with strength of character. Daryl is strong and always has been. Daryl would never have given into Negan due to weakness not at any time. Where Daryl would have folded in the past is exactly where Dwight tried to hit him. He tells Daryl that they are both responsible for killing people he Tina and Daryl Glenn and therefore they deserve to be punished for that. Before Beth Daryl would have crumble under that kind of pressure. It was Beth’s acceptance after the fall of the prison that helped Daryl to realize that he wasn’t responsible for everything that had happened. It was Beth’s words to him on the porch that helped him to heal and that carried him through this ordeal. She thought he was a good person and therefore he could finally believe it to. Locked away from all the noise Daryl could finally process what had happened. In fact he was forced to process everything that he had been suppressing and I would guess that suppression goes all the way back to the loss of Beth. He literally cried himself sick and it’s no coincidence I am sure that he started crying at the line “ You left me standing all alone.” The connotations here are huge. The song itself is a love song and Daryl’s refusal to kneel to Negan means he is literally standing all alone something that Beth herself predicted. She had told him he was going to be the last man standing and that she would be gone. The only thing he had left to hold onto was her faith in him.

               Moving forward from this point in the story I strongly believe that the next big moments in Daryl’s story could possibly come when he talks with Maggie.  I am curious to see what happens because I think Daryl has come away from his time with the Saviors trying to finally settle his shit. I think his time in his cell forced him to confront things he could no longer run away from.  I know he’s angry and wants revenge on the Savior’s but I think he will be much less rash than he was prior to being taken. He’s starting to see a clear path moving forward and he’s going to pursue it with single minded determination. Much as Beth was determined to take down Dawn I think Daryl won’t rest until he’s toppled Negan. He sees an injustice that he can’t and won’t let stand. I also think that much like Beth he is ready and willing to pay the price with his own life. I believe the goodbye Daryl had with C@rol last week felt like a final goodbye because it was intended to. Daryl is preparing himself for a war he isn’t sure he’s going to survive.  As we move forward and we see where Daryl’s story goes I to remind everyone about Maggie’s line in Them about Daryl resting and it’s relation to the music box being fixed. Daryl’s character arc since S4 has been interwoven with Beth’s and we see that coming full circle now as Daryl approaches the task of taking down Negan. As Daryl’s story has so closely parallel Beth’s Grady arc there are in my mind only two possibilities moving forward. Either Daryl will die in order for Negan to be taken down and a Greene will exact their revenge on his behalf or Daryl will live because a Greene intervenes and saves him.  

[lassieposting]

OTP CUESTIONS with

Mevolent/Vile 😌

Please💙

God, who are you anon, i need more people to talk about violent with me

1. Who said I love you first?

Mevolent, and he's the only one who will say it outright. Vile only says I love you on occasion, when one of them just almost died or Mevolent did something really special for him - and only when they're alone. On a day to day basis, Vile never says the big three. Vile says don't get killed. Vile says you look tired, come to bed. Vile says I brought you dinner and I missed you and let me kill them for you, because everyone he's ever said "I love you" to, he's lost.

2. Who laughs and kisses their partner on the cheek while their partner isn’t happy about something trivial to try and make them feel better?

Vile. Mevolent has a lot on his shoulders with the day to day running of an empire, so he's always got a dozen worries to think about. Vile considers these issues trivial and will often offer to kill whoever's weighing on his mind. He's pretty sure killing the right person would solve all Mev's problems and make him feel better. He's never met anything he couldn't kill.

(Mev in the background like....boy how tf are you gonna murder taxes????)

Occasionally it frustrates Mev that Vile doesn't take these issues seriously, but Vile is young and impulsive and has always used violence to solve his problems, and Mevolent likes him that way - that's why Vile won him the war. Counselling restraint and patience is what he had Serpine for.

3. Who cuddles up to the other after a long day at work, and this soon escalates to a playful pillow fight?

So neither of them are the pillow fight type, but the post-work cuddling is absolutely a thing. When Mevolent is in his office he is Working and doesn't like to be disturbed (not that that stops Vile wandering in and out when he's bored). But he's a workaholic so he'll often bring a stack of reports back to his rooms to read before he goes to bed, and Vile will come over and put his head in Mev's lap, his feet up on the other arm of the couch, and keep him company while he's reading, often with a book of his own. These two are masters of the comfortable silence.

4. What is something that they gave one another that has a lot of meaning?

They have matching tattoos. A small, unobtrusive sigil Mevolent got China to help him design, adapting from multiple sigils in old books to send a signal across long distances.

During the War, Mev and Vile would often end up on totally different continents leading forces against different sanctuaries. When they were just fucking, that was fine and Vile would keep him updated via regular written reports, but as they got more serious it started becoming a problem because, like, waiting weeks to find out whether or not your lover survived that last battle is stressful and distracting.

Most of the time, the sigils are barely visible, like a white ink tattoo. But when Vile touches his sigil, Mevolent's warms up and turns black, and vice versa. They used to use them to say, "We won and I'm alive," after a battle.

When peacetime began, it gradually evolved into just, "I'm thinking about you and I want you to know it," (or, just as frequently, "I'm horny and I want you to know it.")

5. How would one another describe their partner?

"My little spitfire."

"Pain in the arse." (Affectionate)

6. Who wraps their arms around their partner as they look them in the eyes and compliments them with a goofy smile?

Vile, usually when Mevolent is stressed out or worried about something. Mevolent has a lot more self-doubt than you'd expect, and he struggles a lot with the fear that maybe he's not worthy of the responsibility his gods have chosen him for, or that the "messages" he receives in his dreams were cryptic and maybe he's read the wrong meaning into them.

Vile doesn't give a fuck about Mevolent's gods. He's got a lot of faith in Mevolent - not religious faith, but faith in him as a leader and a stubborn bastard who gets shit done. Vile sees the world very differently to Mev, and that's reassuring when he's doubting himself.

I mean, he doesn't always phrase them very well - there's a lot of, "If you were incompetent, I'd have killed you already," type comments, but Mevolent knows what he's getting at. Vile trusts him, and believes he's capable, and Vile's approval isn't easily won.

7. Who loves saying ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband’ or ‘my spouse’?

Mevolent. They keep their relationship a secret for a long. Ass. Time. Vile is a heathen and while the war is ongoing, mev can't afford the scandal and the potential loss of allies or validity in the eyes of his followers. Vile is his friend and advisor, the nights they spend together are war meetings, he'll set the sense-wardens on any poor servant who happens to stumble upon them together in the early morning.

So when his control is established and he can finally be open about it? He's over the moon. They're still a fairly PDA-averse couple, but they finally get to go to events together and he can refer to vile as his lover and call him over by a nickname or endearment and not have to worry about what everyone will think.

8. Who always talks about how amazing their partner is when their partner isn’t there and they just light up with genuine love and happiness?

They don't really talk about each other like that. For a long time their relationship is Secret and pretty taboo, so while Mevolent will heap praise on Vile at fancy dinners, it's always for his bravery or tactics or quick thinking, the same things for which he'd compliment Vengeous or Serpine or the Diablerie. But Mevolent absolutely does light up when Vile walks into the room - he smiles, automatically. Val even notices it when Mevolent hears Vile coming to join in her interrogation, and she's met him once.

On Vile's side, the closest thing he has to a friend is probably Vengeous - they're both prickly career soldiers with some shared interests - and while they're not Close, they'll sometimes swap old war stories or play chess or cards together. They never really explicitly talk about Vile's thing with Mevolent, and Vengeous doesn't exactly approve, but he's also fanatically loyal and doesn't see it as his place to question his messiah. He does however give Vile a "you two should be careful, you're raising some eyebrows lately" heads up a couple times. Vile relaxes around Mevolent, his shadows will subconsciously reach out for him if he's stressed or unhappy or is trying to get his attention, Mevolent can make him laugh. People notice, and Vengeous' job is to pick up on any and all potential threats. But...warning Vile is the safer option. Vile's his equal, they can talk about things he'd never dare bring up with Mevolent.

9. Who loves it when their partner kisses them good morning?

Mevolent. Vile, like Skug, is frequently skittish and wary about being touched, especially if it's unexpected. But Vile, unlike Skug, is absolutely not a morning person. He'll wake around sunrise - by which time the fire in the grate will have burned down to embers - and pull the drapes around their bed to block out the rising sunlight, burrow his way into the warmth of Mev's arms, and press drowsy kisses down the line of his jaw. Mev usually wakes pretty early and like, technically he could be getting work done, but Vile will stay in his arms and go back to sleep for a couple hours given half a chance, so he's usually content to let him. He's very soft for the occasions when Vile seeks out affection.

10. Who shows the other how to balance a spoon on their nose?

Neither of them, they wouldn't see the point.

11. Who loves to pull pranks on the other? What type of pranks do they pull and do they pull their pranks off?

Vile lies through his teeth about what Mevolent looks like under the veil. The lies get more ridiculous as time goes by. He's hideously deformed. He has an extra eye in his forehead. He has no face at all, he's a vessel for the gods already. He turns to stone in the sun. There's just a gaping mouth full of teeth where his facial features should be.

Mevolent's face is Vile's version of the Octopus People story Skug tells Val.

"He's part mermaid, you know," he tells Vengeous one night over a game of chess, straight-faced and completely serious. "He wears the veil to hide his gills, and to disguise the fact that he blinks sideways. Like a fish."

All those stories Mevolent complains about in KOTW? That he's 12ft tall and eats newborns and whatnot? All courtesy of Vile. Mev is very tired. He'll spend an entire party networking and exchanging favours while Vile hides out upstairs drinking wine and being antisocial, and discover at some point mid-party that during his obligatory fifteen minute courtesy appearance the little bastard apparently started yet another ridiculous rumour, and he's just. Sigh. Thanks, V. At least you did something productive with your evening.

12. What is something small that they would randomly pick up for one another?

They used to bring each other souvenirs when they were in different countries during the war. Mevolent gets books. He's a voracious reader and has quite the library going of dusty old leather bound journals written in what Vile is fairly sure is blood. As the Necromancers' Death Bringer, Vile has pretty much unfettered access to any Temple library, anywhere in the world, so he usually finds something suitably massive and dolorous with tiny spidery handwriting for Mev to pore over for weeks. The resurrection pool he uses in KOTW came from an idea he got from a book Vile brought back for him during the war (which was not the part of "100 Creative Applications Of Necromancy" that Vile was hoping Mev would get enthusiastic about, but, you win some, you lose some).

Vile usually gets music, in one form or another, either sheet music or an instrument he enjoys or one Mevolent can play for him. He can't play too well himself anymore - Serpine broke all his fingers, and although they've healed since then, they still get stiff and sore and reaching chords isn't as easy anymore and he misses notes where his fingers just didn't make a stretch or didn't respond in time. So either Mevolent will play for him, or he'll play the chords while Vile plinks out the melody. It's relaxing for him.

13. Who is the one who can’t stop laughing when trying to tell a joke?

Vile. He's got an incredibly macabre sense of humour and he gets lowkey high on death energy, so he's a fucking nightmare to have at executions. He always has a bad pun or a quip and half the time, they're murmured right in Mevolent's ear and he can feel the little shit laughing behind his shoulder. Which like? Is fine for Vile, because nobody's looking at him. He can snigger himself silly behind his stupid fucking helmet and only Mevolent will hear him. But now Mevolent wants to laugh too and this is a Sombre Occasion and everyone is looking at him and he has to keep a straight face.

14. Who would plan the other a surprise birthday party?

Mevolent's birthday is an empire-wide holiday and usually involves like a week of festivities and social functions and networking, so he'd be very difficult to plan a surprise party for - he knows he'll get a massive bash every year. Vile's birthday also has guaranteed celebrations - it's NYE, so there's usually a big party going on regardless that ends in a massive firework display - but he tends to avoid social functions as much as possible, so he'll put in a fifteen-minute courtesy appearance and then escape upstairs, and his birthday is never like, openly acknowledged or mentioned at dinner or anything.

Mev is well aware that vile is the opposite of a social butterfly, so the kind of surprise he'd would plan for him is slipping away from the party early himself, so they can spend the evening tangled up together in the company of some fine wine and stolen vol-au-vents, and then watch the fireworks from their balcony.

15. Who picks the other person up when hugging their partner?

Like technically they're both capable of picking up the other one, Vile can and has dragged Mevolent's wounded ass off a battlefield before powered by sheer spite, but like 99% of the time, Mevolent is the one doing the lifting. Mostly it's to carry Vile to bed - either because he's dozed off on the couch and Mev is trying to be sweet, or because they boutta fuck and Vile lowkey likes a bit of manhandling.