#are we connected or something cause i’ve literally answered you on dm when you sent this lol

[mochiable]

hia i really wish i could show you what a great person you are!! you have no idea how much i love talking to you, every day i'm thankful for your existence!! i'm so proud of you for still trying, for not giving up and i'll always be here to remind you that you deserve happiness, no matter what you might think. you are worthy and more than enough <3

and i really wish i could show you how grateful i am that you read my works that day and told me you loved them! we’ve been moots since then i still remember that rabbit icon? was that a rabbit? i remember something purple on it,,, lmfao i think i don’t really remember it,, anyways thank you, eri, honestly, i have a hard time believing that i’m enough for others because they’ve never made me feel i was, but i try every day to love myself, even though that hasn’t been working recently :( i love you <3

[zirkkun]

Yo you have every right to be upset about things! You're still a person with your own feelings and deserve to be treated kindly. No one should come at you for making things you enjoy or for misunderstandings. I hope things get better for you even if I wasn't here for when all the drama happened (or maybe I was and just wasn't aware of it? I tend to avoid drama as much as possible tbh)

I didn't really post about it much. I think I answered about 4 asks about it (three of them in the same post because i was sure it was the same anon due to the similar string of seemingly continued messages) and the rest I just deleted as soon as they came in, but I got... A lot. A lot of mean things said too. Kinda hurts when you wanted to make something because you knew this work was highly criticized and wanted to let people give it a second chance only to be shot down by the people you were hoping to defend lol

In short, and a lot of it I missed because I was blocked by a lot of people so my friend sent me screencaps; someone took I believe only the old ask box post I had for ULR, which at the time was called "Underlust Rewrite," and was disgusted at the fact that everything was revamped and "made for kids" (because it's not 18+ explicit content, but as I've said before, it's just cause I'm too scared to be horny on main, and I've literally made a whole different biological system for ULR so I can write the necessary story ""sex scenes"" without it being human-like sex or otherwise uncomfortable or too explicit for me to draw, but I still consider it a mature story overall), so they blocked me instantly here and on twitter and then made a callout post on twitter itself. People were telling me originally to stop calling the AU Underlust, and I didn't really get it at first, because like, what's the difference between my spinoff and, say, Underlust Gold, Swapfell Indigo, TS!Underswap, you know, names that have add-ons from the original title to differentiate it but still connect it to the source. So that's what I said, as well as if I removed the Underlust name, it would be considered stealing to me, because I'd be disconnecting it from the source. But apparently, instead, what had been the concern was that it was just being called "Underlust" and the "Rewrite" aspect was implying I was replacing the original story, which like, had never been my intention and I've made a bunch of things with both the ULR and UL cast together and love the idea of Lust and Ace meeting up and just being a disaster duo of not working together at all. I just adore Underlust like it's in my pinned FAQ, Lust's been in my banner for months now, and he's practically my staple pfp character on every account but here atm.

It took like 3 days for it to actually click what was going on, because once I finally got the chance to have a conversation with someone where they weren't telling me I was the scum of the Earth -- which, honestly, bless the three people I talked to, they were so sweet (which actually included someone from the Japanese side of the fandom whose art I loved too... yeah it got pretty far. Once I sent them a message though it was cleared up quickly and they did post a clarification post about ULR and me, so that was nice to see.) -- I finally got the chance to realize that this was a misunderstanding from the beginning, from both sides, where people coming at me were saying I was doing all of the stuff above and probably more but those stuck the most, while I was confused as to where this information and accusations were coming from and what they were referring to in the first place. They probably never explained it in the anon asks because, well, they probably assumed I knew what I was doing, but when they came at me about something I didn't do with vague context of something I did do, I was very confused, and got really defensive really quickly, and really honestly snapped pretty hard. After my first initial explanation post and people were still trying to tell me to stop ULR/don't call it Underlust/whatever else there was, I just got tired and told people to block me if they didn't like it. But that didn't really stop anyone and honestly made it worse because that's when I started getting really nasty messages. I like... Specifically remember one where someone called me a lowlife and a thief, and that one stuck the most, but I tended to not read through them before deleting them for my own sanity. I actually did this to one of the people who'd later talked to me calmly about it at first too, because I had just woken up, and really didn't want to read an essay lecture on everything everyone's been telling me at the crack of 7am when I was borderline ready to delete my account and start over lol

Some people I do remember were accusing me of trying to censor nsfw content or erase it as well because ULR isn't 18+, and I'm out here on my horny ass like "wh. What are they talking about, where did you get that idea, have you SEEN my ao3 recommended list," /j but in all seriousness I really didn't understand that accusation at all because I've never been against nsfw content in the slightest and lowkey? This is very dumb -- but like, you know how they say when you get hate mail, you know you've made it? Well, for me, my thought has always been, "When there's 18+ fancontent of my OC's, I'll have finally made it." This is... Not a joke, some of my friends think its very weird LMAO oh well. I've been on the internet for far too long at this point -- like, definitely since I was far too young, probably, and being with a family of the next youngest being 12 years older than me, I really dove into stuff pretty quickly I definitely shouldn't have, but hey that's life -- I'm really unfazed by mostly anything now. Hell, me making ULR was honestly half motivated by me wanting to make others more comfortable with this kind of media, discussing sexuality and otherwise sexual-considered topics, without really being embarrassed or bothered by it. Because, people talk about death and killing and whatever other gorey stuff just fine, but the moment sex comes up, people just gasp in awe, y'know? I kind of grew up that way myself but like... ironically, in being more comfortable with my asexuality, I realized that it's honestly not that big of a deal. Sure, we don't need to hear the details of everything. We don't need to hear the details of a murder either. But I will never understand how murder is always the lowest on the "morally wrong list of things to not to" to so many people and that it's fine to mention, but even consider bringing up anything else and it's like, a sin and you're a bad person. Even racism is like, higher up on there for a lot of people, which it's like... this is an issue that needs to be discussed, or it can never be solved. You can't just kick that away and hope it goes away on its own, that's never how it works.

Ah, well, now I've gone off tangent lol. Sorry to make you read a blob of text lmao but having things in a cohesive format of what I've been thinking does feel a bit better. Thank you for the support regardless, and I do want to keep making what I really enjoy, because frankly, I really want to make things that make people take a step back and think for a moment, y'know? Things that invoke like a realization in yourself about something you didn't even know. That's how fiction's always been for me, so I want to give back by making it that way too. ... maybe my horny content is exempt from this however. That's just. Self indulgence LMAO.

Probably helps that I'm actually talking this all out for once, too, since before any of this I tried to keep as much of the situation contained to myself as possible in hopes I could clean it up before it got too bad. That was, in hindsight, probably a terrible idea lol. But I didn't want to be a source of stress for anyone following me or become the new creator-to-defend that like, 50% of people hate and 50% of people love and that you're either on one side or the other and there's no where in between. (I feel like Arin Hanson comes to mind for me every time I think of someone like this.) I know I can't please everyone and I knew internet hate would come eventually, but like, didn't expect it to be over a name or tag choice. I thought that would be a simple enough DM or clearable thing but apparently not, especially since I saw someone a few weeks ago delete their blog over a similar thing (though, the opposite, in a way: posting nsfw in a sfw tag by mistake). It wasn't in the UT fandom so y'all probably weren't following them (tbf I wasn't either, I just witnessed it happen from start to finish), but it was still disheartening.

Anyway, thank you, and sorry to make ya read all of that (if you actually did vahdbs don't blame you if you don't it's a lot of thought dump lmao)💕💕

[darlinvandijk]

Don’t talk to her like that

Concept: request for “maybe where they are dating, and she is there at the m&g and some girls are rude, and he gets all protective??”, it’s gonna be angsty as fuck but with a cute ending. Dm me and whatnot for requests or ideas! Also a friend had some great ideas and wanted to be a co-writer for this one, she did absolutely amazing helping me out! (Sorry this is so fucking long btw) Hope you enjoy :)

Today Ruel had one last concert before going on a two week break, let’s just say the boy was literally buzzing around with excitement for the free time he was going to have soon. I’m currently laying across the bed on the back of the tourbus, watching him play fifa like I usually do. He finishes a match before turning to me with the grin of a Cheshire Cat, knowing that look on his face I immediately try to push my body out of his reach, but as usual his long ass arms grabbed me instantly. Within seconds I’m hanging over his shoulder, basically a million feet above the ground, as he chants and tells everyone on the bus how good he is at fifa.

“Ruel dumbass put me down,” I shriek, laughter pouring out of me as he jostles my body around, all of the crew pulling their phones out to record the chaos. “Bubs we gotta go or you’ll be late, we can’t be late to another concert or Nate is going to take your game” I try to reason with the tall boy, my body slamming against his back as he instantly freezes.

He immediately jogs out of the bus, along with the few other crew members with us, running into the venue so he can get up on stage. He sets me down next to the stairs, giving me a small kiss before interlocking our pinkies, making me kiss one side as he kissed the other for good luck. I watch him in awe, completely overwhelmed by my beautiful boy doing what he loves.

——

Ruel says his goodbyes to the crowd, thanking them for all the support they give him, before running off stage and coming straight to me. He lifts me up to spin me around, causing me to laugh at his excitement, before pushing him and his sweaty body away from me. He pulls me back instantly, connecting our lips in a soft kiss, causing all the crew backstage to coo at our relationship. We hear the click of a camera, turning to see Michelle smiling as she looks at the picture with the crew, all of them loving the relationship we have with each other.

He pulls me away to his dressing room, tossing me his phone as he rushes into the bathroom to shower, knowing he only has half an hour before he has to do his meet and greet. I walk over to his bag and pull out an outfit for him, before seating myself on the couch to play whatever games he has on his phone. I’m in the middle of playing angry birds when he runs out in a towel, giving me a boyish grin as he sees his outfit already laid out for him, walking over to place a kiss onto my forehead.

“Baby I’m so excited for this m&g, you know I love meeting the fans” he murmurs excitedly, pulling the sweater I picked out over his head. I let out a laugh, knowing that he was seconds away from bursting with excitement. I walk over and start to dry his hair, before fixing it so that it’s not tangled and messy. We walk out of the dressing room, heading straight to the little room where Michelle and the others are setting up the camera, waiting for them to give him instructions. He walks over to the couch and sits down, motioning me to go join him while he waits. Finally the time comes for us to go stand in the other room, so he can meet his fans before the pictures. Ruel grins at me, and leans down to press a quick kiss on my forehead as he makes his way to chair, before I turn to stand with Michelle off to the side, both of us smiling at the pure love he has for his fans.

"Okay Ruel, the girls are getting sent in now, you already know the drill" Nate confirms with him, watching him send a nod back in agreement. The doors then start opening as a group of teenage girls walk in, all animatedly talking, having not noticed the green eyed boy sitting in front of them. He stands up from his chair, causing the group of girls to freeze in shock, all of them in awe that he was truly standing in front of them. He sends them a grin before spreading his arms out, all of them rushing in to give him a group hug, but struggling because of the amount of them.

I stand off to the side of the room alone now, just watching with a smile at how happy they all were, before feeling Coco come up behind me and hug me. We both watch as the girls gathered in a complete circle around him, all trying to talk at once, spewing compliments and questions at him in a rush. After a couple minutes of questions Ruel walks into the other room, where the couch and camera were, letting the girls come in individually or in small groups for their pictures. Coco and I both laughing as we hear some of the picture requests the girls are asking for, knowing the look on his face must be hilarious right now.

"Babes, I'm just gonna get a drink, you want anything or a snack?" Coco questions, giving me a small grin while she waves Ruel’s credit card. I laugh at her crazy antics, turning to see the rest of the crew also laughing, knowing that she does this every time she can find his card. I swear her favorite hobby is to fuck with Ruel, she seriously thrives off of the reactions he gives her, but it’s his fault for never putting his wallet away, especially when he knows she’s going to keep doing it.

“I’m all good Co, thanks for asking though, but make sure you get him Cheetos or something” I laugh out, giving her a small wave as she practically skips out of the room, excited to make her way to another foreign store. I turn back to my original position, realizing I was left alone in the first room, since the rest of the crew went to go pack up the rest of the equipment. I anxiously start to play with my promise ring since I’m left with the rest of the fans since Nate, Michelle and Ruel were in the picture room. All of the girls were starting to look over at me, causing me to give them a small smile and wave like I usually do when I see them. Most returned the actions with excited looks, while three of the girls rolled their eyes and completely turned away from me, causing my stomach to instantly knot up with anxiety. I start to shift from side to side as a large portion of the girls make their way over to me, all of them watching me with wide eyes.

"I love you and Ruel, you guys are literally my favorite couple!" one of the girls gushed excitedly, the others surrounding me spewing out words of agreement. I smiled at the girls excitedly, but before I could even respond, another cut in -"you two are literally my OTP. I can't wait for you guys to just get married already" while jumping up and down. I blushed at all of their kind words before thanking them all, giving all of them individual hugs. They all started to ask me questions, wanting to know more about his personal life and our relationship. I answered what I could, before taking pictures with them, laughing and making jokes with them as we did so. As the large group of girls got called into the room for their group picture and mini personal q&a with him, they all turned to me to give me waves of goodbye and more rushed compliments, as I blushed and waved back.

"Have fun girls, feel free to ignore his jokes that he’ll make, since trust me I know they aren’t funny" I laugh out, watching as all of them laugh before making their way into the room. I was then left alone in the room with the girls who had seemed to take a disliking towards me. I decided to try once again to interact with them, wanting to have a positive relationship with all of his fans, smiling as the beautiful girls finally made their way towards me. I gave them all grins as I let out a sigh of relief, happy to interact with them, especially since I know how much his fans mean to him.

"Sooo you're the one dating Ruel right?" the first girl asks me mockingly, cocking her head to the side to look me up and down, instantly causing me to tense up at her tone. I give her a weary glance, before looking at the other two girls, watching them both look at me with the same judgemental look. I fiddle with my ring and start to chew on my bottom lip at the energy they are sending me, trying to figure out how to handle the situation since I’ve dealt with some fans sending hate, but I’ve never had a face to face situation before. I watch as their eyes instantly fly to my ring, causing them to tense up, eyes snapping to look at me with envy.

“Yeah, that’d be me.” I answer back hesitantly, sending them a small smile to ease the tension. The three of them simultaneously share a look, before turning back to me with fake smiles, eyeing me with a look that tells me this isn’t going to end up going well. I keep the smile on my face, trying my best to not let their attitudes get to me, the last thing I want is for his fans to hate me.

"I'm Alexis, and this is Ally and Annie" the main girl says, a cocky underlying tone, almost as if I was supposed to know who they were. I fight to hide the smile that was so close to breaking out on my face, at the fact that this was basically a cliche teen drama movie scene, with the typical mean girl group. Not only were their names similar, but they literally looked like clones of each other, I almost felt like I actually was in a teen movie. They continue to give me their cocky smiles, all whilst staring dead at me with a look I couldn’t decipher in their eyes. I feel my hands start to shake a little with anxiety, feeling insecure and scrutinized under the harsh glares of the pretty fans.

“I have a question for you-” Alexis states with her eyes brows raised, clearly being the main girl of this small group. I give her a nod to ask , instantly regretting it as I hear the words spewed from her mouth, "Tell me how the fuck someone like you, gets someone like Ruel." She practically spits at me, causing the other two girls smiles to wipe off their faces, replaced with frowns and matching glares. I freeze up at her upfront hostility, partially in shock at how bold she was considering Ruel is literally in the room right next to us.

"W-what do you mean by that? I would really like it if we could keep this amicable" I mutter out, feeling more and more insecure by the second, also really not wanting for Ruel to hear them and come out here. The last thing I’d want to do is cause a problem with him and his fans, knowing that his reaction isn’t going to be a pleasant one if he hears them. Upon hearing my words, they instantly inch closer to me, matching smirks on their faces.

"We mean, how does someone like you end up with a guy like him? I mean it’s not like you’re pretty or talented” Ally spits out, causing the both of her friends to nod in agreement. My jaw drops slightly while my eyebrows furrow, completely in shock that people can truly be this vile. I feel my eyes start to well up a bit, but I blink them away, not wanting to give them the satisfaction of their words actually having an impact on me. Before I can even speak up to defend myself, they instantly cut me off with more hateful words.

"You don't deserve someone like him, but don’t worry he'll realise that soon enough. He'll know that he should be with someone like us, you know someone that’s actually pretty. I actually wouldn't be surprised if he's already got someone else, poor boy probably just feels bad for you." Annie laughs out, all of them laughing at me as I stand there not knowing how to reply to them. I swallow the lump that’s rising in my throat, I mean maybe they were actually right, lord knows he could do better than me.

"You know maybe I'm not good enough for him, But he is one of the most loyal and amazing boyfriends in the world. He wouldn’t ever cheat on me or go for someone that spits out such cruel words." I quietly let out, trying to defend Ruel and I without causing anymore drama, also knowing deep in my heart that he’d never do such a thing. Knowing deep down that he loves me, loves me just as much as I love him.

"Yeah maybe he's loyal, but you're worthless, and everyone has a limit sweetheart. You’re not good enough, you’ll never be good enough for him, you’re nothing remember that. " Alexis starts to spit out hatefully, my eyes instantly welling up completely with tears as my face heats up in embarrassment. As I stand there completely belittled and hurt by their cruel words, I decide to try and speak up, but I get cut off by a familiar voice.

"What the fuck did you just say to her?" Ruel spits out, standing in the doorway, completely still with a cold look on his face. The girls turn around, completely petrified that he had heard them, all of them turning red as he stares at them with an unwavering look. Ruel stands there absolutely pissed at them, waiting to see if any of them are going to speak up, before taking a step forward once he realizes they won’t. I instantly step forward, not wanting him to say something he’ll regret to his fans, no matter how much they hurt me.

"Bubs, calm down please. It’s okay, I promise I’m fine." I whisper out with a shaking voice, watching him stare at me in concern, he shakes his head feeling completely upset that this is even happening. I place a hand on his arm, feeling how tense it is, feeling it tense up even more as he notices my tears and red rimmed eyes. He lets out a scoff and turns back to the girls, completely furious that people that claim to love him so much, would treat me in such a way.

"No, it isn't fine. They can't speak to you like that, I don’t care if they’re fans or not. I won’t tolerate shit like that. Don’t talk to her like that." He practically growls out, his hands shaking in anger as he watches the girls stand there, still unsure on what to do. I could literally see the girls shaking as they stand there, terrified at the little predicament they’ve landed themselves in. I take a deep breath in, watching as their eyes fill with tears, closing my eyes as I shakily breathe out and grab onto Ruel.

"Bubba, please leave it." I begged, causing his face to soften upon hearing my pleading tone, he lets out a deep sigh beige stiffly nodding his head. He reaches out to wipe away the tears falling down my face, leaning forward to kiss my forehead, before pulling me right against his chest. He turns back to the girls with me in his arms, watching them with a blank cold face, holding me tighter to calm down.

"I think you girls need to leave now. Sorry." He lets out while giving them blank looks, before looking down at the ground as they silently got escorted out to the main exit by Nate and Michelle, who I just realized had been silently watching the whole thing. I held him tighter, knowing how hard it was for him to do that, his fans mean the absolute world to him. He lets out a light sigh, shifting our bodies from side to side, pressing kisses to the top of my head every couple of seconds.

“Did the other girls hear?” I whisper out, scared that their opinions of me could have been shifted. Ruel shakes his head no, pulling away to lift my face towards his, giving me a slow but sweet kiss.

“No, they went through the exit in the picture room. Lets head to the bus now, I don’t want to be in here anymore” Ruel mumbles out, interlacing our fingers, lifting our conjoined hands and placing a kiss on the back of my hand. I lean into him as we walk to the bus silently, feeling completely destroyed by the girls words.

———

Ruel and I lay cuddled up on the bed, fully wrapped up in each other under the blankets, his grip on me never lessening. Everything’s silent, neither of us knowing what to say about what happened. He shifts so he’s leaning on the headboard and pulls me up so I’m sitting on his lap, his hands resting on my hips, rubbing soft circles into my skin.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. You don’t deserve that. I love you, I really fucking love you. You’re not worthless. You’re my best friend, my soulmate, partner in crime, and everything in between.” He whispers out, watching as the tears fall down my face upon hearing his words. I let out a quiet sob as I wrap my arms around him, burrying my face into the crook of his neck so he can’t see my blotchy tear stained face. He wraps his arms around me, lightly humming a song in my ear in hopes of calming me down.

“It just really hurt, I do everything I can to make sure your fans like me, because I know how important they are to you, which makes them important to me. I try and give them sneak peeks into your life and tell them little facts about you that they can’t learn from an interview, but some of them still hate me. I wish I was good enough” I whimper out, causing Ruel to instantly stiffen and pull away from me. He faces me with a completely bewildered look, not knowing where to even start with what I just said. He reaches his hands up to wipe away my tears, before setting them against my face, holding me in a position where I can’t turn away from him.

“Lets start off with the fact that you don’t have to do any of that, but you’re so fucking nice that you do it for them anyways. Baby, some of them aren’t going to like you, but that’s okay. They’re just jealous that I chose you and the fact that I put a ring on it-“ he starts off, causing a laugh to bubble out of my throat with his Beyoncé reference, watching the grin that lights up his face upon hearing my laugh and seeing my smile. “and lastly, you’re good enough. You’re in fact too good, like I don’t deserve you, and the fans don’t deserve you. You’re perfect and I love you more than life bubs.” He ends his little speech softly, watching the way my face turns pink at his words, loving the way only he can have that effect on me.

I whisper back my I love you as he pulls me down onto the bed, holding me tighter and closer than usual. I roll over so that I’m on my back, with his head pressed to my chest, letting him fully relax from today’s stress while I play with the hair on the nape of his neck. I feel him let out a deep breath, fully relaxing into me as I move my hand up to massage his scalp. His breathing slowly starts to get deeper, before he drifts away, leaving me in complete silence as I hold him. I smile fondly as I glance down at him before looking back to the ceiling, truly grateful for the boy in my arms, because the love we have for each other is once in a lifetime.

[5sosbitchfest]

Alrighty, Nonsters.  We currently have 290 Asks in our box!  As much as we might try, I know there is NO WAY we’re going to be able to get through all of them.  Everything exploded this weekend when MessyGate went down!   I don’t want to ignore any asks just because I already answered a similar one.  So, I’ve tried to gather as many similar Asks as possible to let your your voices be heard.  Y’all are definitely NOT alone in your feelings.  Get ready for a lot of opinions on Messy’s Twitter Drama.  

Also, if you sent in an Ask and we haven’t answered it yet, please feel free to resubmit it!  I do try to scroll through all of them but it is a daunting task and personal stuff and work make it difficult for me to get through everything in a timely manner!

********************************

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I’m really disappointed in Luke and this band in general, the way they deal with things. “honest policy” with messy? So he knew all of this and it was okay? Or he confronted her on this and he is okay with what she has done? I’m not sure this whole thing would be a deal breaker for me, but it certainly would make me real mad at my SO and some whiny excuses wouldn’t be enough to make things alright. Radio silence would’ve been much better than that story he posted, made himself look like a fool.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: These girls will sooner or later become their downfall if their management or them does not realise they should rely on other things than bringing relationship up front to sell their music. I find it extremely bad that they are behaving as if nothing happened, I hope there will be changes once touring will be possible again and we won’t see these girls tagging along everywhere or being brought up in interviews all the time but somehow I’m not counting too much on that.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I wonder if Luke knows everything that Messy got exposed for or just the parts Messy wanted to show him. Bc Luke said in his Story that he wasn't online lately so maybe he wasn't on Twitter too and Messy just showed him the parts that make her look good and he still doesn't know that she spoke bad about Ashton or how she stalked the fans also after she knew that they didn't hack his email adress cause he wasn't on Twitter so he couldn't see the screenshots.🤷‍♀️

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm just waiting for the day one of them date someone who isn't a part of their circle. tired of them passing around the same toxic girls.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: These girls are just digging a whole for these guys and they want be able to get out of it soon

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: It was a chicken move for Sierra to do it as a reply and no one has talked on twitter that she deleted it because they probably think her deleting it is saying it wasn’t true

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Am I the only one who thinks that guys really only heavily interact with us when they want to promote something or say something about the music? I do understand they have lives so being on Twitter isn't number one priority and with all the drama that surrounds this fandom its very easy to not want to be online a lot, I just can't help but feel that way

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm talking about this messy situation (no pun intended) with my friend and she said to me that Messy should consider changing her career if she can't handle that not all people are going to like her. (that ofc doesn't include any form of harassment bc that's not cool)

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I really don't know how to feel about the Luke situation. At first I was upset and disappointed of Luke but now I almost pity him bc real or not either the management would want Luke to defend her or Messy. And I think Luke isn't the kind of person who would stand up against the management or Messy (even though it would probably be better for him if he would). And most people don't realise when they're in a toxic relationship so I can't really blame him. I just hope this ends asap.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I literally was so angry and frustrated with Luke and this whole situation yesterday that I couldn’t even look at him on my home screen, I had to change it. It’s really a disappointing thing to witness. Whether management put him up to this or he genuinely believes this toxicity is okay, I’m just very grumpy with him at the moment. He deserves better and WE (the fans) deserve better.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I think Luke really needs to be in a relationship with sb who either isn't famous and doesn't want to be or with someone who is famous bc they have a successful career too and who doesn't need Like to be famous.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I’ve only seen a few accounts on Twitter who are attacking Messy and Crusty to the core and exposing every bad thing they’ve done with receipts for the sossies defending them! I’m happy that karma is finally getting to those con artist who think they can get away with anything

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: that recent lierra picture is photoshoped lmao. if you look at Sierra's hand you can see color coming off from it and her arm looks hella weird.her forehead looks hella weird and look couldn't have taken the picture because I doubt that he could stretch his arm that far and make a perfect picture. also we haven't even seen Sierra's face so I still don't believe they're together

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The Lemon pic was like a punch in the face (even though Petunia and Luke are looking cute there). But I've been asking myself lately if Luke has seen the whole drama going around on Twitter or just the posts Messy wanted him to know so the ones who make her look like the victim (and not the ones where she insulted Ashton or she made it clear that she stalked his fans). Cause Luke said he hasn't been online lately.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I mean we dont know how much of the story he truly is aware of and how much s changed to fit her narrative and get L to feel bad for her. Plus he was under pressure from management to do damage control and not standing up for his gf is a very bad look for outsiders who dont understand why she's at fault. It was a pretty neutral statement and he was obviously told to make the post so I dont blame him and just blame her more for putting him in the situation in the 1st place

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I wonder how much toxicity happens behind the scenes, we know S is very manipulative and L is very much a people pleaser so.. and with how much they have to sell their "love" and "happiness" in the relationship. Minipulation is a powerful thing and it could explain why hes out of touch with reality, especially lately since he's isolated with her and doesnt have the voices of the band to raise any concerns and he's been getting skinny again and seems very "meh" rather than happy, idk

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I feel so disconnected with this fandom rn. I feel like no one is streaming CALM and that makes me sad bc it's such an amazing album. The boys aren't even online anymore, everyone is mad at each other and now Luke comes up with this shit... tbh I wish I would wake up tomorrow and see him tweeting something like yeah I'm sorry about my ig story I still love y'all lmao

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Wait wait wait wait ive been gone from the fandom for a little while now and what the fuck is going on with Luke and S? What did S do that she made a fake ass apology for?? I’m so lost please help me! 😂

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm seeing a lot of my mutuals unstanning and I'm just so mad bc Sierra started this drama and got Luke into it and I'm sad that people are leaving bc of this, it's just too much toxicity and it shouldn't affect the band and their connection with the fans but with Luke saying this he makes it seem like he supports the ugly things she does

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I am a Luke stan and I've always loved him bc he has inspired me so much through the years but when he does this things it's like...damn. I feel like he's invalidating the fans' feelings by being like "if you don't like my girlfriend, ur fake" like he has never noticed me on Twitter or anything but my biggest fear is to be blocked by him or just ignored bc I don't like her (although I never expressed it publicly) n yeah anyways :// It feels weird

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Going back and re-reading the DM’s messy literally confirms that she accesses Luke’s account by saying “we couldn’t get in” or some shit like that

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I hate being a luke stan, sometimes it just seems like he doesn't care? he always puts these toxic gfs before the ones who adore him and pay his bills. might just move into Cashton's lane. unproblematic kings.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: He literally posted a picture of him cuddling her and petunia within the hour

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The saddest part of this situation is it’s like a repeat of Arzaylea. Luke has no idea what a respectful, mature relationship is. We saw it with Arz and were seeing it again it’s just a little bit different. He stays being controlled and manipulated by toxic partners. I really think homeboy needs to be single for a WHILE and focus on himself. He needs to unlearn the things his past and current relationships have taught him about love because if I know anything, it’s that this ain’t real love.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Is it bad that I just want the larzaylea drama back?? Like everyone could at least agree on their feelings then...

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Just checked messy’s insta and of course, everyone that still supports her filled her tagged with just the single picture

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I feel like the reason Sierra is getting away with what she’s done is because she isn’t that known. Like yeah she’s associated with 5sos, but they’re also like not that big which is probably why it’s getting swept under the rug. I’ve only seen the 5SOS fandom calling her out for her actions. If this had happened with a well known celebrity, they probably would’ve been dragged and been trending on Twitter. I might be wrong but I feel like this is what’s happening which is just unfair.

[metaphorical-love-for-a-car]

Man Out Of Time-- Brian May x Reader

Prompt; none!

Warnings; language

Word Count; 1.8k

Notes; This is an idea that I’ve been toying around with for a while. I’m not too fond of the ending, though :/

Almost everyone has a soulmate, somewhere out in the world. There are numerous ways to discover your soulmate. Some people just have one symbol or sign, while others have multiple. Brian May was one of those. He was born with a ‘soulmark’ on his forearm. It was a constellation, and when connected, it resembled a guitar. He then received his second sign as an adult. Brian didn’t notice until someone— Roger Taylor, one of Brian’s closest friends— had pointed it out. Brian hadn’t aged since he was eighteen. At first, the idea excited him. Not aging would allow him plenty of time to find his soulmate, and they would be able to grow old together. However, as the years went on, Brian grew to resent his inability to age. He had to sit by and watch as his friends began to grow gray and find their soulmates. He’d be a liar to say he didn’t wonder if finding his supposed soulmate was worth living like this. Instead of doing anything he would later on regret, Brian expressed his emotions through music, writing songs like Who Wants To Live Forever.

As much as you wanted to find your soulmate, you put it on the back-burner. You, quite literally, had all the time in the world to track them down. Much to your friend’s annoyance, you just continued living your life as normal. “Seriously? You’re not going to do anything to try to find them?” You glanced up from your laptop.

“You know that’s not true. I look! I’m just not dedicating all of my time and energy into it.” Your friend raised their brow at you, causing you to scoff. “Look, it’ll happen when it’s meant to be. And I’m a travel journalist. I meet lots of people. One of them is bound to be my soulmate.” Your friend groaned and sat down next to you.

“Can I at least do one of those soulmate search things?” You pursed your lips. “You know, where you upload a picture of your soulmark, and it scans the internet for anyone that has one similar to yours.” You sighed, knowing that they wouldn’t give up on the subject.

“Fine, but if there’s a fee, you’re paying for it.” Your friend cheered before snatching your laptop from your grip. You warily watched them type away. They snapped a few pictures of your forearm and put them into the computer. The two of you watched the loading bar slowly inch its way across the screen. You couldn’t deny that you were anxiously awaiting the results, curious to see what it would bring up. Chewing on your lip, your eyes quickly skimmed the results as soon as they appeared. Your eyes widened as your jaw dropped. This couldn’t be real. It had to be a scam or some sort of spoof.

“No fucking way. Brian May?” Your friend’s voice was barely above a whisper. They turned to look at you with the same shocked expression that you were wearing. A smile crept across their face. “Oh my god! You have a famous soulmate, who’s also hot as hell!” they screeched. You shook your head.

“There’s no way. Give me the laptop. I wanna see their ‘evidence.’” You pulled the laptop back into your lap and started scrolling down the webpage. It felt as if your heart started hammering harder with each picture you inspected. His soulmark did resemble yours. But still… you couldn’t bring yourself to believe it.

“You’ve got to reach out to him! DM him on Twitter or something.” You looked at them as if they were crazy.

“What? No! I can’t do that. Besides, he probably wouldn’t even read it.”

“You won’t know unless you try.” You stared at your phone, which was sitting on the coffee table in front of you. After a few moments of internal debate, you finally gave it. Your friend was right. What did you have to lose?

It was late, but sleep seemed far away. Brian’s mind was running in a million different directions as he stared at the ceiling above his bed. Sleepless nights weren’t uncommon for the guitarist. He rubbed his face with a sigh. Brian reached over towards the nightstand, pulling his phone from the charger. He opened and closed several apps before finally settling on Twitter. With nothing better to do, he started scrolling through his timeline, occasionally liking or retweeting something. A notification popped up and caught his eye. Every once in a while, Brian would read and respond to a fan’s message. He tapped on the notification, and his brows furrowed as he read the message.

You drummed your fingers on your thigh, anticipation killing both you and your friend. The two of you had been waiting for what seemed like forever for a response. You were skeptical about the whole situation, but there was still a part of you that held onto the hope of a possibility. As soon as your phone buzzed, you snatched it up. Your friend peered over your shoulder, watching you open up Twitter with wide eyes. “As much as I’d like to say that I’ve finally stumbled across my soulmate, I can’t trust a photo someone sent me online. You never know what has been edited. Flattered by the effort, though. Bri,” You read the message aloud. You locked your phone, setting it back down. Without warning, your friend started shaking your shoulders.

“Oh my god, (Y/N)! Don’t you see what this means?” they shouted. You opened your mouth, but they didn’t give you a chance to respond. “Brian said that he would like to believe he finally found his soulmate. That means your soulmarks match!” Your breath got caught in your throat. This couldn’t be real. There was absolutely no way.

“Well, what the hell am I supposed to do about it? He clearly doesn’t believe me, and I honestly don’t blame him for it. He probably gets random ass messages like this all the time.” Your friend pursed their lips and hummed. Their face suddenly lit up.

“Idea! Ask him to Skype you.” You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, as if he would do that,” you scoffed. They poked your shoulder, urging you to just do it. You leaned your head back and groaned dramatically. “Okay, okay. Give me the phone.”

Brian raised a brow as he read the newest message. He was surprised. Most fans would try to convince him that they were his soulmate, but this one seemed to understand his hesitations and sent him their Skype information in an attempt to prove that it wasn’t fake. He debated on whether he should go through with it or just ignore it. With his curiosity getting the better of him, Brian decided to make a fake Skype account to use for this occasion.

You were munching on a bag of Cheetos, waiting to see if anything would happen. When your phone lit up, you nearly started choking. “Holy shit. Is that him? Do you think it’s him?” Your friend picked up your phone and snorted, showing you the username that was displayed on the screen— definitelynotbrianmay.

“At least he has a sense of humor. Hurry up and answer it before he changes his mind.” They tossed you the phone. You quickly wiped your mouth off and ran a hand through your hair, hoping that you looked somewhat presentable. Your friend flashed you a smile and a thumbs up before you swiped to answer.

You sucked in a breath and tried not to pass out. This was actually happening, and you were struggling to wrap your mind about it. There he was, musical genius Brian May, skyping you. “Hi,” you awkwardly greeted. He grinned, giving you a small wave.

“Hello.” The two of you stared at each other for a moment, not really sure what to say next.

“Oh my god. You’re insufferable. Just show him your damn arm already,” your friend called out from their spot on the other side of the room. A nervous laugh shook your shoulders.

“Yeah, right, sorry.” You held up your arm and angled your phone in order to show him the markings on your forearm. “See? One hundred percent genuine. Gifted to me by the universe itself.”

Brian’s face inched closer to the screen. His eyes briefly narrowed before widening again. He leaned back, opening then closing his mouth. Brian just couldn’t get any words to form. His mind was blank. After all these years, he had finally found you, his soulmate. You found yourself holding your breath as you studied his facial expressions. You just wanted him to say something, anything. You would have rather him say “Nope, not real. Leave me alone.” than just sit there like he was. Brian’s posture straightened as he looked at the screen with a serious expression.

“When can we meet?”

You sat at a small table in a cozy café. You bounced your leg and chewed on your lip, nervousness taking control of your entire being. Your friend patted your shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’m sure it’ll be fine. And if you need anything, I’ll be lurking about. Incognito, of course.” You raised a brow and started to ask what that was supposed to mean, but they just put a finger against their lips. “It won’t be incognito if you know.” They glanced up at the window, and a smile spread across their lips. “Looks like he’s here. Have fun!” Your friend scurried away, leaving you to flounder on your own.

When Brian walked in, you waved him over. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight of him. His hair was even curlier in person. Brain took the seat across from you. You could already feel yourself blushing, and all he had done was smile. Christ, this was going to be a long day.

Brian was looking at your arm. “Can I?” he awkwardly asked. You nodded, turning your arm over. He gently traced the constellation that was spread across your forearm. Brian took your hand into his before glancing up at you through his lashes. “Can’t tell you how much of a relief it is, to have finally found you.” Your smile widened as he pressed a light kiss to your knuckles. “I’d like to take you out tonight and get to know you better.” He paused, lowering his voice to a whisper. “That way, we won’t have an audience.” Brian glanced over to the side. You followed his gaze, only to discover your friend sitting not to far off with a fake mustache, large sunglasses, and a fedora. You snorted and quickly covered your mouth to keep yourself from laughing. When they realized that they had been spotted, they quickly held up a newspaper with two, painfully obvious, eye holes cut out. Brian made no attempt to hide his laughter, and you just shook your head at their antics.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

“If it makes you feel any better, my friends would have probably done worse.”

Tag LIst;

@mothermercuryy @mmmmmitslikeadiseaseson @loveofmychips

[anhed-nia]

10/11/17: THE BAD BATCH

It’s probably obvious that I enjoy writing just as an activity, about anything. I always think that I ought to task myself with something more ambitious, but inevitably my mind goes blank whenever I think of this. My tenuous solution is to write down anything that occurs to me the second it materializes, even a piece of dialog without a scene, or a punchline to a joke that doesn’t exist. With this I have a pretty common problem, that my imagination is most fertile in liminal states, if I’m inoxicated or it’s the middle of the night or something. So, I have sheets and sheets full of these deformed ideas on my phone, none of which have graduated to the next stage, but they’re kind of fun just the way they are.

Anyway. Today, I had the opportunity to attend a talk by someone I’d really been looking forward to meeting, Karen Green, who runs Columbia’s comics archive. She is a very interesting person, and she actually knows my father from academic circles, so I was developing pumped up ideas about trying to buy her a beer afterward. The event started ok, with me answering two questions that caused her to declare us soul mates in front of everybody. Then everything went downhill, because at that exact moment, I accidentally sent a random tattoo parlor three paragraphs of my weird nocturnal ramblings, that made me sound like an absolute genuine crazy person. It completely sucked the wind out of my sails, and an hour later when the respected archivist asked my name, I just had no idea what she could even be talking about.

The thing is, I’ve been trying to write this joke, but I’m not sure how to tell it. The joke is about how people like PETA, or much more particularly anti-abortionists use these extremely graphic images of the things they’re protesting, with the assumption that the viewer will make a correlation between GROSS and EVIL. Of course, this is nonsense. Like, urology is gross, but I’m glad there are people out there who do it. So I want the joke to have this kind of setup, and then I can say how I don’t judge people for doing things that are important to them, even though I find them repugnant–but then I’d list a whole bunch of unexpectedly ludicrous supersitions that I supposedly have. So what happened is that I was drafting a question about a tattoo at the bottom of this particular notes document, and accidentally copied and pasted ALL OF THE DOCUMENT into my message to the salon. Therefore, some nice social media manager got a DM from a complete stranger that began, with absolutely no introduction, with me saying: 

“I mean, there are plenty of things that are important to people that *I* don’t think they should do–like performing emergency surgery, or photographing the dead!" 

Then there’s four or five lines of straight up word salad, followed by me finally saying "So my fiance and I were curious about some of your flash art, and we were wondering…" 

The middle two bits were preparatory notes for a review of THE BAD BATCH, Ana Lily Amirpour’s second feature film. Her decent 2014 debut, the "Iranian vampire spaghetti western” A GIRL WALKS HOME ALONE AT NIGHT, was appealing enough that I felt pretty encouraged to see her new offering. However, I had three misgivings about it off the bat: One was the poster, featuring a closeup of leading lady Suki Waterhouse’s ass in a pair of smiley face shorts worn better by Yolandi Visser in Die Antwoord’s “Baby’s On Fire” music video (which is in some ways a superior movie). The second was some bits of stunt casting, including Jim Carrey in a role where he has almost nothing to do but wear ~freaky makeup~. The third, naturally, was its being distributed by Vice, although they’re not so easy to completely avoid in the world. One of the things that kept me interested, oddly, is that the movie seems to have been very poorly received.

Bad reviews always interest me. I am always interested in what offends people. A well-received movie that is actually stupid and awful tells us little else than that our peers cannot be trusted, which is hardly news. But a really bad movie is like a freudian slip. It can reveal something deep about what the filmmaker thinks is normal and desirable, or better still, what they think everyone else thinks is normal and desirable. Or, they THINK they’re offering us something normal and desirable, while their own revolting perversions are oozing out of the seams into our laps. In the best of cases, the “bad movie” offends people because it represents a transgression we direly need, but that’s harder to hope for.

Unfortunately,  Ms. Amirpour’s movie is immune to all of these sorts of somnabulistic revelations because it is that most irredeemable of things: It is forced. This is not to say that it’s worthless. It is handsome and unusual, with touches of Jodorowsky and Moebius, and a really fabulous male lead. It’s just excessively slow, and so calculatingly eccentric that its deviance becomes predictable. The effect of being so deliberately strange is to deprive a movie of subtext. The movie’s nightmare futurism, degenerate body horror, and high fashion hijinx become the only text, a metaphor exclusively for itself.

What actually happens? In a southwestern penal wasteland that has been excommunicated from the United States, a multiply-amputed Arlen (Waterhouse) makes the mistake of murdering a cannibal woman and absconding with her orphaned daughter, not realizing that the father is still alive. The literally spectacular Jason Momoa plays this Miami Man, a sensitive artist and butcher of men who forms an unlikely alliance with Arlen as the two search for this child, who has been abducted by Keanu Reeves, a sort of Mad Maxian Tony Robbins figure. Not much more to say, really.

The film is mostly visual, with a full Die Antwoord song confirming that Amirpour has probably intended an homage to the South African art rappers, rather than a straight up feature length ripoff of their video work. The photography is satisfying, the intermittent gore is stimulating, the music is hype. And that’s about it. The problem is that a movie should really connect with something deep in your brain, some archetype or anxiety, and it just feels like there isn’t anything at the center of Amirpour’s two hour slow motion rave. A movie so pushily novel has the same quality as a dream where you realize that you’re dreaming, and in attempting a lucid dream, you just wake yourself up.

And now, having said that, I need to come back to the world of the living, having found this vent for my own archetypal anxiety, my own great freudian slip of the day. I can only hope this was more interesting than if I had simply described THE BAD BATCH.

And now, Yolandi Visser in the “Baby’s On Fire” video, which takes a lot less time to enjoy.