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Shitloads Of Wrestling Interview: The GymNasty Boys [May 4th, 2018]

I cannot explain The Gym Nasty Boys. There’s Timmy Lou Retton, a baton-twirling ribbon dancer who is a gymnast by day, pro grappler by night. Then, there’s White Mike. Attempting to explain him would be like chasing a fish across ice. He’s unpredictable in both mannerisms and in-ring action, but what puzzles fans about both wrestlers’ personalities is completely forgotten when the duo show what they can do in the ring. There’s a reason that The Gym Nasty Boys are tag team YAMpions in THREE different companies, and in this very fun, bizarre interview with one of the hottest tag teams going today!

SOW: First, let me start off by talking about how I first heard of you both. The first time I'd heard of Timmy Lou Retton was watching a video from when you took on Delirious and I see this jacked, stout fellow coming out with a ribbon, twirling it around and inciting anger in people. Then I get word from a Tumblr user that a wrestler by the name of "White Mike" is facing New Jack and immediately, I think "Wow, someone actually planned a murder!" With that being said, what was it that made you two insanely gifted and extravagant personalities come together to form your tag team?

RETTON: We were traveling with The Ugly Ducklings and we became close friends who loved being silly and wrestling. We were in a room with The Ugly Ducklings, The Carnies and The Heatseekers talking about the true art of Tag Team Wrestling. We decided that we would be a team that would be compared with some of the best today.

MIKE: We was just riding with the Ducks doing the same loopskis as them. Timmy and I would joke and say we should tag. We'd laugh about it but, we had some dope ideas.. We also started to become brothers and sexual partners.. That last part isn't true! Winky face.

SOW: Well I definitely feel like you guys have become one of the most talked-about tag teams, especially after Mike's Reddi-Whip incident...

MIKE: Timmy wasn't in that!

RETTON: Nasty by Association.

MIKE: I ate Effy’s toight azz for free!

SOW: True.. true... That being said, where did the name The Gym Nasty Boys come from?

MIKE: Timothy is a Gymnast. I'm nasty ASF! GymNasty. We're also hot lil’ boys! So, GymNasty Boys.

RETTON: What he said.

SOW: Makes perfect sense when you put it that way! Have you been threatened with any legal action from The Nasty Boys?

MIKE: Fuck them!

RETTON: They fabed us at NOLA during Wrestlmaia Weekend.

SOW: No kidding?! What happened there? This, I GOTTA hear!

RETTON: Tried to introduce ourselves and explain who we were in a since of paying homage to them and Saggs just blew us off.

MIKE: "Sue me." "Sue me." "Sue me." Ain't shit too it! I said “what up” and asked if we could get a pic... He didn't even look at me. Oh well. I'm a Public Enemy guy anyways.

SOW: That is TREMENDOUS. Do you think that a potential match against The Nasty Boys would bring in some serious attention or is that just me? Is that even a goal for you both, especially now?

RETTON: It was. Now? I'm just trying to surpass them as the TRUE Nasty Boys.

MIKE: I want it more than ever! We're nastier than they could ever dream of! Jimmy Hart ain't winning tag straps for us and Hogan ain't keeping our jobs. Run up, Nasty Boys!

SOW: The ultimate would be beating them with Jimmy Hart in YOUR corner. I bet I could almost make that happen...

MIKE: God damn, yes!

SOW: I was elated to see that the two of you became the first ever Fest Wrestling Tag Team YAMpions. Is that your first title as a pair? If so, what does it mean to you?

RETTON: We actually won our first tag team Yampionships a week prior in SC. Beating the Ugly Ducklings. It means a lot to us because FEST Wrestling is a awesome place to wrestle and the fact we are the very first means we made history and no one can take that from us.

MIKE: It. Was. Amazing. Fest Wrestling means so much to us!! We're all invited to the party there! It's our second as a team. We actually won the APW Chester tag team titles in SC first. I think Feb 2nd and then we won The Love Cup and Fest titles the 10th. I was siiiiiiiick as funk! I love APW but Fest means more. Timmy was booked first and I wasn't even on our first Fest. We then came in as a team and busted ass to get that spot!

SOW: Fest Wrestling is by far one of my favorite places that I worked. It was where our group was formed, Mike. Rap Dads!

MIKE: Hard nipples!

SOW: I see you guys popping up everywhere. Hell, I've even managed you myself and it was an absolute blast. Where else do you plan to conquer next?

RETTON: We want to be every where. We'll be debuting in California May 5th for Maverick Pro and in Canada May 19th for Inter-species Wrestling.

MIKE: We want it all and we're hungry enough to take it! We wanna travel out of the country. We have a date in Canada for Inter species wrestling may 19th. We want more! CZW, OVW, Limitless, Impact, NXT, Raw, SmackDown. Literally every place that we can test our abilities in and outta the ring!

SOW: Alright, I gotta ask... Just between the three of us, Cardi B, am I right?

MIKE: Fuck her.

SOW: Did she, too, fabe you during NOLA weekend?

MIKE: Like, I'd bang her. No, she would be dope to party with!

RETTON: Yeah, her party game would be fun to test against ours.

MIKE: I'd eat cereal out her asshole.

SOW: When you're on the road, how often do you fight over what music you're going to listen to? What's the usual playlist consist of?

MIKE: We don't fight. We listen to damn near the same music. Easy as fuck baybee.

RETTON: No. We don't get into fights. That's why we work. I'm mellow and he is too. If we get upset, one of us says something stupid and laugh it off.

SOW: That's what's up. I dig that. Who has to tone the other down when you're "on"? Not just in the ring, but in life? Watching The Gym Nasty Adventures, I assume it's Timmy chasing down Mike most of the time.

RETTON: I'd say that's right. I can get crazy too but he stays liiiive beeeybay.

MIKE: We're pretty easy going. Just like most people reading this. I will get wild as fuck if it's gonna be one of them ones! Like big shows or shit.

RETTON: Big shows, big name opponents or if we just want to kill it!

SOW: Have you ever gotten kicked out of Walmart for your antics?

MIKE: Not yet. We tryna get sponsored by them crackahs.

RETTON: Luckily, not yet. We get in and get out.

MIKE: We be getting wild as funk in there! Good deals!

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SOW: Right on. Aside from winning the titles at Fest Wrestling, what's the absolute coolest moment for The Gym Nasty Boys so far?

RETTON: Taking on The Rock n Roll Express.

MIKE: Wrestling the Rock n Roll Express! That was so much fun and was a absolute blast! Childhood dream come true.

Banging fat chicks with no rubbers too. Fun as hell lil baybey.

SOW: That's totally understandable. I feel like a lot of people don't realize the treasure that is Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson. People need to take advantage of their knowledge while they can! I imagine you both learned a lot in that match.

RETTON: In the ring and outside. Everytime we see them they hug us and talk to us for 20 mins like we known them for years.

MIKE: Yes! Knowledge is power! Seek the keepers of this! Too much fun and a all around good time. (They hug you..Not me!)

SOW: That's what's up, man. That's pure respect for you both, for real. I'm sure after reading this, plenty of fans are gonna want to know where they can keep up to date with your schedule. Where can they do that?

MIKE: Every got damn social media machine you can think of! Type GymNasty Boys in the search gimmick and Boom! We're friends! Please send choccy milk money please! Winky face emoji.

RETTON: Indeed. Yambook. Instayams. Yammer (Twitter). Black Planet. MySpace.

MIKE: Splitter or Split Her.

RETTON: If you're interested in booking us: [email protected].

SOW: Alright, one last word for your fans, GO!

ALL: TIIIIIIIP!

#the gym nasty boys #white mike #timmy lou retton #pro wrestling #fest wrestling #indie wrestling #tag team #2018 #sow interview

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