#appreciate the exploration of loneliness and only really having online friends

[shadowcat222]

Can I ask which anime? I don't personally watch that much, only really seen like,, 2 or 3 series to the end-

Overlord, I heard the big scary lich was the protag and decided to check it out only to be thrown back to the barrel scrapings that made me stop disclosing my gender in mmos, if they ask if there's a girl stay quiet young me learned.

[theambitiouswoman]

I’ve been struggling with feelings of loneliness for years. I’ve met many people and tried to make friends, but I’ve never found someone who truly feels like a good match for me. Most of the time, I noticed that people enjoy gossiping, that I couldn’t trust them, or that their kindness felt insincere. Because of this, I slowly distanced myself from them since we never really connected. Since I work from home, I haven’t had many opportunities to be in social environments, which has always made it difficult for me to make friends. Right now, I only have 2 friends, but even with them, we barely talk anymore. Over time, I feel like our bond has weakened as well. This has always made me see myself as weird or even pathetic because I can’t go out and have fun with friends like others do. I’m 23, and I feel like my youth is slipping away. Since I can’t seem to change this mindset, I’ve lost my confidence, and I no longer feel motivated to do anything. The only person I truly feel close to is my boyfriend. Do you have any advice or suggestions on how I can change my perspective on this? I’d really appreciate it. Thank you so much💗

A lot of people struggle with loneliness, especially in adulthood when deep connections are harder to make.

Instead of focusing on the number of friends, shift your focus to quality over quantity. Some with big friend groups still feel lonely. It’s about finding one or two people who align with you, and that takes time.

People with large friend groups often seem to have it all together, but these groups can lack depth. Having many people around doesn’t always mean healthy connections. Some may enjoy the energy of a crowd but still feel disconnected.

The key difference is that those with deep, quality friendships feel genuinely supported. Having a few close friends is more rewarding than trying to keep up with a big group.

Since you work from home, try putting yourself in environments where like minded people get together—meetups, co working spaces, or online communities. Friendships take time but consistency and shared experiences build connection.

Confidence comes from feeling secure in who you are, even when alone. Instead of focusing on "fixing" this, focus on nurturing yourself. Do things you love, even solo—explore, visit a café, or take a class. The more you embrace your own company, the more you’ll attract the right people.

Don’t underestimate the friendships you already have. Even if you don’t talk often, a simple “Hey, I miss you” could help rekindle the bond. Remember that you also have to be there for people and make time for them when they need you. They also want to feel cared about and appreciated too. Real friends don’t always talk daily, but they’re still there.

The right people will come. Stay open to them.

[booksandwords]

On Thin Ice by Joel Abernathy

Read time: 1 Day Rating: 4/5 Stars

The Quote: Now he was staring at me, not like I had three heads, but like I hung the moon. It would be so easy to push him away, to chalk this up to desperation and loneliness, but that would be such a bald-faced lie, I knew it would be obvious. I would’ve never kissed Cameron out of desperation. Lust, sure. Then again, I’d never been one for lust. I was a hopeless romantic. I’d-- — Chase

Warnings: None of note

I enjoyed the very short On Thin Ice much more than I expected to. It is very simple and a lot of fun with just a sprinkle of something, not quite angst. Everything I need a piece of fiction. There is a degree of predictability to it but you know 🤷🏼‍♀️ I gave up caring about predictability in something this short years ago. For me its about the characters and chemistry. The whole story only has 3 real characters Cameron, Chase and the ghost that is Dan. Dan is Cameron's best friend and Chase's ex, he's not dead just not present. (Oh and a tertiary character that is there only to introduce a moment). The exceptionally limited cast is perfect for a snowed-in plot. The lack of other people locked in the rec centre with Chase and Cameron allowed for a frank and honest exploration of feelings. It always is, let's all be honest it's a trope for a reason.

Cameron and Chase are sweet as hell. The personalities of Chase and Cameron just work for me, misunderstood Cameron and prickly Chase. They are nearing a Grump/Sunshine dynamic but it's hard to execute in a work this short. I may or may not be projecting it a bit. They are almost inverse to what you may initially expect, though Chase as a solo figure skater needs that alpha dynamic. But it is easy to perceive just a bit of realism in both of them. I do like the reason for their long-term existing dynamic even if Chase doesn't easily admit it. Chase gets one of the cutest confession scenes, ok it's straight out of a teenage rom-com but you know the cliches are sometimes the best.

Some quotes I liked

As my blades carved the rink, I entertained myself with imagining it was Dan's throat. A little violent, perhaps, but infinitely satisfying. — Ooof. Boy after my own heart. But given Dan broke up by text (with impeccably sh**ty timing) and Chase's alpha personality often a requisite for solo skating I do appreciate it. (Chase)

Necessary, too. The guy was gorgeous and cruel to equal extremes. With his blond hair, piercing eyes, and chiseled jawline, he looked more like a leading man than a star forward, and it was pretty easy to see why he was the object of lust for every straight woman on campus, and more than a few of the guys, too. — This is Chase describing Cameron and it creates one helluva mental image. Cameron does the same for Chase later. They are both stunning in different ways. (Chase)

My best friend was a dick. I knew that better than anyone, considering that was why we got along. We had that in common, him and I. Of course, when it came to utter dickishness, I blew Dan out of the water. I mean, you really had to be a shitty person to have been lusting after your best friend’s boyfriend for the last three years. And I wasn't even gay. Sure, I’d watched some shit I stumbled upon online, and I’d liked it, but actually fucking a guy? I didn’t think I would ever do that. I didn’t even consider myself bi. What happened in my head was one thing. It didn’t count. Right? — Cameron has an interesting and very human sexual identity. He's also a bizarre mix of a realist when it comes to himself and an optimist when it comes to Chase. (Cameron)

[hi-rubi]

hi Rubi this is 👁 anon!! I sent you an ask off anon but I figured I’d send you another and try to say something else. I read another person’s ask that said your writing balances toxicity and redemption well, and I have to say I really agree with that. I love that you don’t shy away from having your characters do shitty things and then having them suffer through the consequences of said things. I think that’s a really mature way of exploring and handling certain darker topics, and it does show that deep down you believe (or want to believe) that people can change and evolve and be better, whether for themselves or for love etc! it’s been something I think about a lot - the way that in your stories, no one is inherently unlovable; characters who believe that eventually realize their own worth, and they learn to fight for themselves.

(sorry this is gonna get long and I hope this doesn’t count as trauma-dumping?) recently I kinda took a step back from a friendship I had with my ex-crush: I really liked him, he didn’t like me that way, and it was hard on both of us? like we changed. we were best friends for a few months and he’d be the first person I talked to when I woke and the last I talked to before I slept. at some point he called me his best friend and deliberately made time to talk to me (like he worked on his class work beforehand so he could message me during class). and when he got a lot more distant I actually would just wrestle with myself and the feelings of loneliness and rejection. I once wrote you a very rambly long anon that I’m slightly ashamed about (bc I really shouldn’t have trauma-dumped in your inbox), but anyway... I realized there were some key differences between us (funnily enough the dispute was about the Mineta update; I was like “omg not Mineta” and he was like “these people suck for looking for representation in the wrong places”) and then I realized... this wasn’t good for me. I tried to not love him (and I will say I’m not in love with him anymore for sure) but it always hurts when you’re the one that’s more invested, right? not his fault that he’s not as invested though bc we don’t owe each other anything. so yeah I’m just taking steps back to not be so dependent on him (bc it’s draining to the both of us)! (it’s kinda sad that I’d been writing in my journal since April about how sad I’d felt about him distancing himself, and that it’s taken Four Months for me to actually stand up for myself and say what I wanted to say, but at least it’s done now! that’s something to be proud of, right? I never used to stand up to people I loved. I’d internalize everything, and then my self-esteem would just sink lower and lower. I’m glad that while this guy wasn’t It for me, at least he’s decent enough and cares about my feelings.)

anyway this long rant is just for me to say that reading your fics has been cathartic for me. the first time I read your fics (I think the rich boy Shoto one), I was sobbing by the time I read to part 5. I felt really lonely and I was wishing he would love me. but like slowly as I kept reading and kept thinking and evaluating, I realized I don’t need /him/ to love me. and sure I’m not perfect and I might have some of my own kinds of toxicity, but that doesn’t mean I’m not worth loving! I’m still working hard to love myself. I’m learning to be compassionate with myself while not giving myself excuses for toxic behavior (eg passive-aggressiveness, overthinking, etc).

I just wanted to tell you that you are a beautiful person (both in and out!!). I could tell this not just from what you write, but from how you interact with the people in your inbox, whether anonymous or not. you have such a big heart, and you pour so much of yourself into your writing. I can see how it’s been both cathartic and perhaps a little destructive to keep ruminating on certain scenarios you’ve dealt with. but also I’m so glad for you that you’re starting to see more hope and light, and hopefully you’re starting to need this coping mechanism less. you are wonderful, not just in what you give others, but in what you are.

when I was looking for MHA smut in the tumblr tag I wasn’t expecting to feel all of this and to experience this change. thank you for that. know that in your journey, there are people who are rooting for you!! love, 👁 anon

p.s. I read your ask about New York and I hope you feel a little more at home now!! you sound like an amazing person to be friends with. even though I’m nowhere near New York (I’m moving from my country to the UK which is still far from NYC), I hope someday I’ll be able to befriend someone like you! and I hope you enjoy the city and the friendships and the drinking and all of it 💜 take care Rubi! known you are loved. the stars cast their love on you.

Ohhhhh my gosh. Eye anon I have so many thoughts putting under cut.

I literally went through the exact same thing. That guy was the reason I wrote half my pieces. Like, scumbag bakusquad and all these other works were about HIM. I know SO WELL how you must feel right now. It is the worst, most painful fucking feeling in the world. The only reason I got over that guy was literally because I went on Wellbutrin (an antidepressant), and I realized my fixation with him (and other guys/things in the past) was quite literally because of my mental illness.

Please, please, please, PLEASE cut him off entirely. I think you mentioned you took a step back from your friendship; I want you to stop reaching out and messaging him completely. You don't have to take my advice, but if I could go back in time and tell myself something, it would be this:

Romanticize your life. Start working out and eating healthy. Get to a point where you feel good about your body. Switch up your fashion and wear shit you'd never normally wear. Experiment with makeup. Meet and talk to as many new people as you can. Go to new places in your city, whether it's a cool new library 30 minutes away or a pretty flower exhibit at the arboretum. Fall deeply in love with your friends and your family. If I were to write a story about you: you are literally a kind, beautiful main character who is moving to the new UK for a fresh start after being hurt in the past, and learns to love herself and others in the process.

Above all, never, ever get upset with yourself for falling for someone. You are an amazing person full of so much love, and he was someone you chose to bless with your emotions. But you probably love so many other things around you- your friends, the crisp air when you go on 7 AM morning runs, the nice lady who compliments your skirt at the store....... he is not unique. He's just one lucky person that got to experience your feelings.

You see how when you romanticize your life and paint yourself as the main character of your narrative, it helps shift everything into perspective? That is what helped me get over him. While my medication did most of the heavy lifting, that mentality just changed the game for me. I hope that you can internalize that, too. It takes a ton of work but I believe in you, and I want to hear updates on how beautiful your life is!! I would also recommend writing it all in a journal/online diary of some sort.

Whoa. You brought up.... SUCH an incredible point. "I can see how it’s been both cathartic and perhaps a little destructive to keep ruminating on certain scenarios you’ve dealt with." You're so right, it was destructive. I was always so absorbed in the cathartic part of it that I was always confused why I felt so destroyed afterwards. I literally wrote that quote doc on my "romanticization" document. There's something so beautiful and poetic about that line.

Thank you so, so much for sending this in. Your incredibly sweet words made me reread this message so many times and also save it. I really really appreciate you being here and I'm so happy I met you <3 Sorry this answer was SO long but eye anon I just.......... I'm just hugging you so hard right now. It feels like I'm talking to myself from the past and I just want you to know that I know what you're going through, and you will persevere.

[stateofgrace-acoustic]

lover - first song ranking & thoughts

first of all i just need to say i legitimately don’t feel ‘meh’ about a single song on this album. on any other album. i always had one or two songs i was just kind of ‘take it or leave it’ about. but Lover really did that - they’re all amazing and wonderful. but here’s an attempt at an order of how much i love them!

18. it’s nice to have a friend

this really reminds me of you are in love in the way it recounts all the small gestures and steps involved in becoming close to somebody. it’s really cute and at the perfect space on the album, leading to daylight. not a mindblowing song or anything, but the vibe fits onto lover really well. i’m glad that it’s here 

17. you need to calm down

yeah, i cooled down on this one a little bit. it’s fun and the message is important, but me! is the better single tbh. still though, the feeling of empowerment this gives me over my nonexistent online haters is wonderful. and i love the attitude of the song of just looking at the assholes who live their entire lives putting energy into hating people and just being like....why are you like this. it’s pathetic. calm the hell down. so needed in our current debate culture

16. me!

a real grower! taylor and brendon urie have such good chemistry, tbh that’s really the backbone of the song. it’s just a really nice carefree spring/summertime self love song, a perfect soundtrack for when you feel happy and content with yourself. 

15. the man

just dropping the complete truth on us with this one. i’ve wanted taylor to make this song for years (and i know she said she’s been wanting to but just never found the right words!) the bridge really elevates this too. and it’s sad how relatable the entire song is in literally every aspect of professional (and personal) life for women. i don’t think it’s quite as strong as it could have been, but still really solid

14. i think he knows

this is like the fun version of dress. that’s all i got to say. just as explicit, but this time around it’s super cheeky and i love it. also goals of self confidence if i’ve ever seen them

13. paper rings

the joyful energy this has!! just makes you smile and want to dance immediately, a wonderful wholesome happy bop

12. false god

listen.....this is special. i absolutely think this is the most experimental song on the album, both in terms of the music (is that a saxophone in the bg?? it’s almost got a jazzy vibe? completely uncomparable to anything she’s ever done and still so distinctly Taylor), but also with the lyrics, where she goes into the love = religion theme which honestly....as a Florence + the Machine and Hozier fan, i don’t even need to go into how much of a vibe that is. I couldn’t have imagined it working so well for Taylor though, but honestly, this song feels perfectly brooding, summertimey, melancholy, - it’s almost like taking the darker underside of Cruel Summer and exploring it in depth! this is very much a song i need to be in a Specific Mood to really appreciate, but it’s damn well made

11. afterglow

i love the maturity of this. not just the apologizing for picking a fight, but explaining how it came to be - at the end, from a place deep seated anxiety. ‘it’s all me, in my head’ (those high notes are beautiful) you can really feel how sorry she is. at the same time, the song sounds like something bigger, like an anthem - almost like that place high above that she’s trying to elevate them to.

10. i forgot that you existed

SO MUCH FUN i keep repeating that but that’s just the mood of this album tbh, playful and mature at the same time. this song is just like, when you’re over someone but you just can’t help yourself and have to throw shade one last time before moving on. i love the bouncy beat!!

9. lover

this song is literally the feeling of ‘home’ in music. so cozy, comfortable, blissful. dreamy. perfect title track. also completely timeless - i think this is one of those songs that we will look back on in years as a classic in her catalogue, a song you will always want to play again

8. the archer

this was my definite favorite of the pre released songs. anxiety, doubts, the way they all just keep coming back and eating at you, it’s described so perfectly and painfully. and the production really makes it sound like you’re in a separate space from reality, just stuck in your head trying to find a way forward, to soothe yourself. the ‘they see right through me / i see right through me’ transition in the bridge is fantastic and keeps giving me chills. so much personal connection to this one

7. soon you’ll get better

feels weird to even rank this but......just wow. the harmonies with the dixie chicks are so beautiful, and the way the lyrics talk about the feeling between denial and desperate hope, the transition from “because you have to” to “because I have to” - I have to cling to this hope, or i won’t make i - it completely broke my heart. and the fact that Taylor can conjure all these complex emotions with just a guitar and a few words is incredible. i’m so so sorry for them and i wish all the best for Andrea with my entire heart. 

6. london boy

i already see people underappreciating this, what is going on??? there are multiple cute bouncy joyful songs on this album but this is my favorite because it’s just got a fantastic flow and melody, and i love all of the references to places and dialect specific words and it’s just so wholesome?? but what really makes this is (once again) the bridge. stick with ME im your QUEEN like a tennessEE stella mccartNEY, just the energy!! the fun!! excuse me while i listen to this every day for the rest of my life

5. miss americana & the heartbreak prince

okay, taylor’s brain in this one. i made a post talking about how this song has three layers - at first there’s the high school setting, then it references the ‘cancelling’ of Taylor’s public persona, but then it can also be seen as a comment on US politics and the whole climate of society right now. and it’s all tied together perfectly because high school is the perfect metaphor for this!! she’s basically saying we’re all behaving like immature school children, bullying each other for the stupidest reasons, mob mentality, stupid contests, fabricated stories made up to tear people down, and the feeling of loneliness but also fear and horror that comes with all that for the people who are the victims of it.....it’s literally all like high school in the worst way. i just love this concept, and the melody and production give me a little bit of a reputation vibe almost? which is perfect for the song, the dark dramatic vibe shows the feeling of fear most of all and that’s just....too real. 

4. death by a thousand cuts

........listen, i surely didn’t think that Taylor would write one of her best breakup songs in the year of our lord 2019, but here we are. it’s once again, the small moments she recounts. taking the long way home. the uncertainty if it will ever be fine again. and the bridge/second verse / whatever that part is but that entire part. ‘paper cuts from my paper thin plans’, excuse me. the fact that she wrote this about a movie where a couple breaks up after years really shows tbh, because it’s especially that kind of....not being able to find a part of yourself that isn’t influenced by the other person, that’s so horrible and makes moving on so painful. i also love the production which makes this sound so uptempo, contrasting the lyrics! idk the entire song just clicks into place for me

3. daylight

this is like a summary of the entire album (and with the reference to the past and especially red, it’s even connecting her entire discography together). it’s like the clean of this album, except this time around it feels more complex - all the subtle references to past mistakes, ghosts, that might not be so easy to wash away. i’ve already mentioned that i love about the album (and this song especially) how it doesn’t gloss over negative experiences but addresses them directly, like looking them in the eye and then saying ‘you don’t have the power to define me’. that’s what this song feels like - it’s not unabashedly celebratory, it’s actually quite melancholic, but also full of real healing, a feeling of peace and reconciliation. and the ‘i once believed love would be black and white / burning red, but it’s golden’.....excuse me.....how dare she

2. cornelia street

god, what a magical song. the kind of episodic buildup that Taylor excels at. the vibrancy of the production matching the vibrancy of the relationship as it develops, revolving around this one place in its multiple stages, and then the repeated, deep seated fear of losing all that. it’s just. ugh. what can i even say. and so so catchy. the “listen..” killed me. just like delicate, the vibe between fear and being drunk on happiness is so so well done.

1. cruel summer

oh yes. and here we have an absolute perfection of a pop song. incredible catchiness. smart, clever lyrics but also that underlying vibe of sadness and anxiety. seriously, the complexity this has?? and then that soaring bridge, the chaotic but beautiful but painful reality of all of it coming together. ‘i love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?’ idk this song just transcends everything for me friends. it’s like the vibe of out of the woods or maybe even style but the lyrics are even more sharp, they cut a little deeper, literally ‘summer’s a knife’. this is a song she only could’ve written influenced by reputation: there’s happiness but there’s that edge in it too. idk if anything i’m saying makes sense. i love this song so so so much. 

[otterplusharchive]

thank you & I'm sorry if I'm overwhelming you with all this!! I'm feeling really out of it but like.. hey.. feel free to reply only when you have enough energy to do so ok? thank you so much if you read everything and don't worry about answering this ask!! I hope you have a nice day/night

im so sorry for replying late to ur asks dear i didnt see it before i fell asleep please know that you arent overwhelming me or a bother in any way and you can always come to me to vent or ask for advice about anything you need i always care and want to listen and help. honestly your asks really made my heart ache for you because during my time in high school i was in a really similar situation, i didnt really have any friends besides my online ones and for a lot of reasons school was hell for me and i had to do my work for two of my four years in hs at home so i know how hard school is in general and i know how isolating and alone this feels. please know that youre not alone in this no matter how alone you might feel because theres so many people around the world who are having similar experiences and similar difficulties with reaching out and connecting to people, and social skills are especially hard to master when youre in high school, you arent silly or dumb or anything like that for having trouble and you arent a bad person or a bad friend. i want to encourage you to reach out to the friends you have who may be able to visit (like one you mentioned being at another school? i hope im not misunderstanding) to set up some time to spend together or setting up times to do things online with your further away friends like watching movies at rhe same time together and talking about them or watching one another play a game and talking about that! loneliness is something im still struggling with and it feels like something almost every human on this earth struggles with, and its ironic that the feeling that were alone is something that everyone has in some strange uniting force. but theres going to be a time when even if youre still lonely sometimes its going to be a lot quieter and a lot less often, youre still young and you still have so much left of your life and the world to discover and explore!!! theres places youve never been yet that youre going to love and people youve never met yet who will love and cherish you. and youre already good enough and worthy of love and friendship the way you are right now, but if youre not happy with who you are you always have the capacity to change and grow and become the person you want to be. its going to be okay, you are loved and you are wanted, i know that it might be hard to believe and scary right now but please believe me when i say you and your life are special and important and if people cant appreciate you or see your light then they dont deserve you.youre going to make it through this and its going to be okay, im really proud of you for reaching out to me like this and i want to encourage you to reach out to your friends like this as well, i know thats not easy and i still get scared of reacging out to people for help too but theres nothing to be ashamed of in needing help and reaching out and your friends care about you and want to help, you are NEVER a bother or a burden and you deserve to get the support and love you need.stay safe and be kind to yourself, if you need to talk more or need anything at all im here

[chorusfm]

The 1975 – A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships

As I sit here looking at a blank page, pondering about I’m going to approach writing about The 1975’s gargantuan third album, A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships, I turn to my dear friend procrastination and flick open Twitter on my iPhone. After a few minutes of scrolling through an endless timeline, disgusted and amused simultaneously, I had the belated (and probably way too obvious) realization that A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships is an exploration of our codependency of the things – whether it’s drugs, sex, the internet – we use to temporarily numb the sting of loneliness. Much has been written about The 1975’s leader Matty Healy decision to spend six weeks in a rehab facility in Barbados to fight his addiction to heroin – a stint that helped Healy reflect not only on his life, but the lives he was affecting. His decision to get clean came shortly after the band started writing A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships, so unsurprising a lot of the lyrical content is derived from the recovering addict’s time spent in therapy. Healy isn’t interested in glamorizing the bleak reality of living with a heroin addiction. In fact, the upbeat 80’s tinged “It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You)” is Healy’s recollection of his struggles to kick the habit – he’s hiding in plain sight about it, disguising it within the neon sheen of the song’s musicianship. And then there’s the subdued ballad “Surrounded By Heads And Bodies,” conjuring the spirit of In Rainbows as Healy recalls his time in rehab spent with a women named Angela – staying at a distance due to how personal these journeys are but also revealing that he sees “her in my sleep.” But it’s when the personal and political collide that A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships really takes off. Released in late July, “Love It If We Made It” serves as the album’s de facto lead single. Interspersing his personal demons with the everyday terrors that headline the nightly news, “Love It If We Made It” is a pop music exorcism bursting with punk rock ethos. The track is the defining single of 2018, as Healy gives an impassioned vocal performance chronicling the world’s shared misery over bombastic industrial noise – it’s a foreboding warning and desperate hope wrapped into one (“Modernity has failed us/and I’d love it if we made it”). Produced by Healy and drummer George Daniel, A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships is the most focused and dynamic The 1975 have ever been. Cinematic in scope, the record’s genre-hopping is limitless, effortlessly moving between different acts. There are plenty of breathtaking moments throughout the album, most notably the spastic “How To Draw / Petrichor” and the intoxicating slow jam R&B of “I Like America & America Likes Me,” with both tracks featuring Healy’s voice heavily filtered through autotune, operating as another instrument and channeling his inner Justin Vernon. But the real strength of A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships is the realization that the instrumentation doesn’t necessarily have to be in the forefront to make the biggest impact, as the jittery energy on “TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME” or the intense slow burn of piano ballad “Inside Your Mind” prove. The 1975 are masters of controlling the room even when the music is sparse, utilizing any and every sound without being overbearing. The crux of the record, however, appears a little more than the halfway point and doesn’t feature Healy at all. “The Man Who Married A Robot / Love Theme” is a foreboding account narrated by the male version of Siri. A modern twist on Radiohead’s “Fitter Happier,” the off-kilter piano plunks underscore the sad reality presented throughout its three and a half minutes. Initially jarring, it’s one of the most important facets of the record, as the final third of the record showcases the importance of trying to step outside that online codependency. Becoming untethered is easier said than done, but Healy attempts to do just that on a number of tracks. The airy neo-jazz of “Sincerity Is Scary” is a declaration against the antipathy of emotional expression, while the smooth Clapton-esque of “I Couldn’t Be More In Love” is an exploration of Healy’s feelings if or when people stop caring about his band. But it’s these moments amongst many that make Healy and The 1975 so endearing – the most self-assured rock star we’ve had in some time continues to be completely unafraid of sharing the most vulnerable, even embarrassing moments of his life. “My favorite records are about life,” Healy told Beats 1 host Matt Wilkinson. “I like the all-encompassing aspect of life: you can have these bits, the sad bits, but don’t leave the dancing out, you know what I mean?” And it’s that life-affirming viewpoint that sparks the beginning and end of A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships. “Give Yourself A Try” is a furious post-punk burst that encourages to listener to ignore the outside noise and appreciate that your existence is a unique one, while closer “I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes)” is a career-defining moment in the band’s discography, an immense encapsulation of the band’s past, present, and future. Lead guitarist Adam Hann creates resounding ambiance interweaving the best of Britpop with the dramatic flair that exemplifies The 1975, all while simmering strings swell underneath Healy’s angelic crooning. It’s the type of song that’ll be closing every 1975 show for the next decade, an instant classic if there ever was one. The 1975 possesses a rare aura that translates seamlessly from record to stage, and these fifteen captivating tracks won’t be any different. If 2016’s I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it was a band changing the narrative surrounding them, then A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships is The 1975 creating the narrative, releasing five singles during the album’s six month buildup, each one dominating conversation and continually building anticipation. The 1975 can still be interpreted as pretentious (they announced this record with a 20+ page manifesto for Christ’s sake), but they are so keenly self-aware of their surroundings that they walk a remarkable tightrope between pretension and endearment. And with such flawless execution, The 1975 have captured the zeitgeist of this particular era of popular music, as A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships will be seen as this decade’s defining record, cementing The 1975 as the most important band of our time. A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships can be dissected in many ways, and I think that’s the point of this whole experience. The complexities of life – especially one that lives online – can’t just be boiled down to one arbitrary thing and Healy isn’t naive enough to think that way. But his words offer hope to those who’ve been through hell or are currently going through the toughest instances of their lives. And for that, he offers a simple yet unflinching overture: “If you can’t survive, just try.” --- Please consider supporting us so we can keep bringing you stories like this one. ◎ https://chorus.fm/review/the-1975-a-brief-inquiry-into-online-relationships/

[celestialpotat0]

Resurrection

Hellooooo Tumblr! My last post was almost 5 years ago. A lot has changed since then. Now I’m Dr. Chung, finally done with being a student, about to start my first full-time job, and I’m back on Tumblr because of COVID-19.

My summer of adventure before I start residency was cancelled because of the pandemic. I’ll no longer be going to Hawaii, Japan, or on camping trips, as previously planned in May and June. I live for adventure, and because of my newfound loss of adventure, my coping mechanism to maintain my sanity is to be more grateful for what I do have.

“Happiness is not getting what you want; it’s wanting what you’ve got.”

So I decided to return to this blog as a means of reminiscing in the experiences that I am grateful for during quarantine and in the past. I have no choice but to savor these experiences and appreciate all of the good times. Normally, I go on vacation to reassure myself that I’m taking the time to enjoy life and live it to its fullest. Without a vacation this summer, in order for me to feel ready to bury myself again in the busy year of residency ahead, I need to celebrate these days of freedom while I can.

I walked ten miles on Saturday, the day I went on my hike. I was sweating profusely, swarmed by bugs biting my legs and buzzing in my ear, and never had that much sweat on my upper lip before as I did while hiking with a face mask on. The backs of my shoulders are red with sunburns. But I savored every bit of the hike, as it was my first hike in months, since the trails have been closed. We climbed up to the top to get great ocean views. I missed the feeling of my toenails bruised from repeatedly hitting the front of my shoes, the arches of my feet aching, and examining the flora and fauna. Abundant wildflowers lined the trail.

After leaving the state park, we went into town and explored Palisades Park and then Montana Ave., areas of Santa Monica I haven’t been to before. We plopped down on the grass in the sun and devoured our burgers with baguettes, caramelized onions, blue cheese, and arugula. Eating a meal after starving while being active outside all day is one of my greatest joys in life. I have barely hung out with any friends in all of April and May due to social distancing, so I was so grateful to finally see my friends again in person.

My friend asked me if I’ve been dancing lately, and I told her that I’m too busy nowadays, and she mentioned that we work too hard, and I know she’s right.

The day after, it was Sunday, I had free time, so I figured I’d make the trek out of the food desert I live in to get a salad. Salad in hand, I stopped by a park that was beautifully manicured with colorful flowers and very green grass, the type of park you see only in affluent towns. I sat on the grass and ate my salad, enjoying the sun’s warmth on my skin, the cool breeze, the prickly grass, watching bees hover over flowers next to me.

When I was on rotation, I would always try to eat lunch outdoors whenever possible, but it was never enough time to satisfy me. I am grateful for these couple months of freedom when I have time to eat lunch everyday outside if I want to and for as long as I want to.

Today, I enjoyed an acai/pitaya bowl (with extra cacao nibs) and sat outside with my sister and chatted with her.

Overall during COVID, I’ve been really great about fitness. I’ve gone through different phases, like a period of time when I run a lot, then online dance classes, then barre/pilates, and now been in my Les Mills HIIT phase for a while.

This whole pandemic used to be really hard on me. I used to feel extremely sad on some days. It seemed like every day or every week I had new reasons to feel down, ranging from sadness at the loss of life and the loneliness of patients infected with COVID, to feeling guilt for my relatively minor problems when people were losing loved ones, and more. The week preceding my commencement was especially tough, because of the loss of being able to celebrate with my friends in person. I felt isolated not being able to see my friends at all after spending all of fourth year apart. I had anticipated the festivities of commencement for a long time, mostly of reuniting with the people whom I treasure from the past four years. Because of social distancing, I haven’t seen any of my friends from pharmacy school throughout this time (except my coworkers while working).

But I’ve been getting much better, and I’m proud of myself for overcoming the bouts of sadness. I went on a weekend camping trip in October and told myself then that was the very last adventure I would allow myself to have until after graduation, because I wanted to devote myself entirely to rotations and residency applications and interviews. For the sacrifices I’ve made and the work with which I’ve consumed myself between October 2019 until now, my reward is these moments that I am now enjoying in quarantine. I am creating experiences which I am truly grateful for every day. So I thank COVID-19 for giving me a new appreciation for experiences that I previously considered quotidian.

[beckettsthoughts]

8 11 20 21

Thank you so much, anon! I love these questions so much

8. Game of the year?

There was only one real option for this, and of course it is The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.

Hell, I went out and bought a switch solely to play this, and I honestly haven’t been able to afford anything for it since. So yes, I do have a console that exists singularly for me to play Zelda (and occasionally Snipperclips with friends!) and it was so worth it. Breath of the Wild offers such a beautiful, adventurous and innovative experience, I adored the freedom to explore every corner of Hyrule, befriend the residents and slowly uncover the story of what happened in the past. There’s so much about this game that I absolutely love, from the landscapes and character designs to the puzzle elements and battle system. It’s definitely my favourite game of 2017, and it’s honestly a contender for my favourite game ever.

11. Something you want to do again next year?

I would love to go to Vale Earth Fair again! It’s a fantastic hippie day festival that takes place at the end of the summer each year in the beautiful surroundings of a medieval castle. It’s a really chill atmosphere and the lineup usually features some of my favourite bands, too. There’s something really sweet about heading up the hill with picnic blankets and beach-bags full of suncream, ready to go grab a veggie lunch and relax down by the Viewalulu stage. I had an amazing time there this year, enough that I wrote about it for one of my non-fiction writing assignments at uni, and I’m already counting down to next year’s celebration. 

20. What’s something you learned this year?

This year, I think, I learned a lot about friendship.

Honestly, from where I started at the beginning of this year, the way I perceive relationships is unrecognisable. I had a really tough time making friends in school, and more importantly building strong enough friendships to survive outside of it. I had been through several bad experiences and toxic friendships, was struggling with paranoia that nobody liked me and that people were trying to hurt me, was being harassed online and was also struggling with disturbances in my friendship circles at school. I was recovering from two years of depression and was easily sent spiralling back down with even the tiniest episode of rejection sensitive dysphoria, and I ended up hurting people I cared about in these fits of anger and sadness. From January onwards I’ve been putting in a conscious effort to battle these problems, to learn how to cope with rejection sensitive dysphoria in ways that don’t involve lashing out at others, learning how to talk to people and communicate in healthy, mutually beneficial ways. I can’t say this was achieved alone; I had the most amazing trio of friends supporting me who were willing to believe in me even when I had a poor track record and a slew of emotional problems. They reached out to me when I was upset, they talked me through it and listened when I had things to say. I did the same in return, and I learned more and more ways of connecting to these people who I care about so much. For the first time in my life, I don’t feel like I’m destined for loneliness. I don’t feel like I’m inherently awful at friendships, I feel like I’ve broken out of a cycle in which everyone would only ever hurt themselves and each other. Finally, I have the confidence, support and knowledge to appreciate the people I love and to accept their appreciation in return. I’ve still got a long way to go, a really long way to go, but I finally believe that the journey is possible. That’s the most important thing I’ve learnt this year.

21. What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year?

I mean, for the most part, I moved. 

By ‘moved’ I don’t mean I’ve permanently moved, because I’ll still be island-bound during the holidays both in the winter and the summer, but I’m now living on the mainland during termtime. If I’m honest it’s been really hard to come back for Christmas, now I’m so used to the independence of university living. I feel so much more capable there, and I’m learning I can do a lot of things I previously thought myself to be incapable of. I love having the freedom to wander into town, to go to the cinema, to meet up with my friends, to travel from city to city without needing to drive or spend too much money. I love being able to cook for myself and the ability to walk whenever I need to go. There’s so much convenience, that, as a disabled and chronically ill person, means I can live without relying heavily on others in a way that I’d never imagined I could do. Back home, I don’t have any of that. Back home is stifling in comparison. 

Still, I miss my friends so much when I’m away. Being a flight away is never easy, no matter how short that flight may be. I really do appreciate the time I have at home because it’s the rare occasion I get to spend time with them, and I wouldn’t trade that for convenience, I wouldn’t trade it for all the tea in China.

I’m hoping to be able to answer all of these over the next few weeks so if anyone who sees this wants to send me any of these “end of the year asks”, pick yourself some numbers and head on over to my ask-box 

[sorosoroso]

Article for Connect Magazine

I had a chance to write about a music artist I really love, and it will soon be published in Connect Magazine, which is a community driven project where expats living in Japan contribute articles about Japanese culture and everyday life. The issue my article will debut comes out in a few days. It is totally free to read and available online. Please enjoy below!

A Folkin’ Good Time: My Journey from Japanese Traditional Folk Music to 8-bit Technofolk

I stumbled upon Japanese traditional folk music the same way a horror film heroine might trip into a dark, deep pit in an old, creepy mansion: by accident.

And much like said heroine who suddenly wakes up in said mysterious, deep pit, I don’t even know how I got here. The last thing I remember is wondering about Japanese instruments and typing in “Japanese traditional songs” into a YouTube search bar, before being sucked in by the strums of shamisens and the dynamic vocals of Japan’s traditional folk singers.

Although it’s usually put under the umbrella term “min’yo”, there is no exact name for the genre Japanese traditional folk music belongs to. Sometimes they’re called inaka bushi (country melody), other times they’re called inaka buri (country tunes) or even hinata uta (rural songs). However, I think min’yo, whose kanji translates to roughly “the people’s chant”, is a weirdly accurate description of these simple, yet intriguing songs (and for simplicity’s sake, I’m going to be referring to them as min’yo from here on out).

 In the same way certain foods or adorable mascots are part of certain prefectures’ identity, min’yo songs are another way for many regions in Japan to further distinguish themselves. Originally sung by lower class people, their purposes vary from work songs sung while toiling away in fields, to sacred religious chants performed during ceremonies. Many songs tend to have imagery of nature or details of everyday life, and often incorporate special dances or instruments during performances.

Take for example Japan’s oldest min’yo song: Kokiriko-bushi. Hailing from Gokayama village in Toyama prefecture, Kokiriko-bushi illustrates the natural flora and fauna of the village during the harvest season. A performance of Kokiriko-bushi is visually intriguing as well; performers move slowly across the stage in uniquely shaped straw hats, as others play the iconic binzasara instrument: an accordion-like apparatus consisting of many wooden slats that clack together to create the “dedereko-den” chorus of the song.

I fell in love with how all these elements came together into a cohesive experience. More compelling, though, were the powerful emotions behind each song. Each one seemed to condense the essence of feelings like sadness, happiness, or loneliness in a way that you could empathize with, despite the language barrier.

My appreciation for min’yo grew extensively throughout college, and during long hours of nighttime studying or downtime between projects and papers, I often listened to min’yo playlists to keep me company. Whether it was the more New Age, emotional ballads of Ikue Asazaki, or lo-fi recordings of televised performances from the 90s, I listened to it all. I wasn’t too picky, and even if I didn’t always understand the words, I let myself get swept away by the vibrant energy each song and performer exuded.

Unfortunately, my college roommate and study buddies didn’t quite share the same enthusiasm for min’yo, and I don’t blame them. I completely understand that min’yo isn’t exactly easy listening for a lot of people. It can be a bit grating at times, with tunes that don’t follow traditional Western note progressions, not to mention the sometimes startling kakegoe (call-and-response) that seemingly jump out of nowhere. 

Older Japanese folks didn’t understand why I enjoyed the genre so much, either; even they found min’yo to be a relic of the past that didn’t quite have the chops to withstand the more international appeal of modern-day songs. For a lot of people, min’yo was something that only a  few Japanese people sang, and even then only to demonstrate Japan’s nostalgic, rustic charm. I found myself having to agree with them. It seemed that min’yo was reserved for special occasions, like cultural events or TV specials, and so many recordings I enjoyed were decades old. Perfect preservation of the genre seemed to be the goal, and innovation was limited, if present at all.

And then I discovered Omodaka.

I was looking for more min’yo to listen to on the Internet (as per usual), and during a mindless return to YouTube’s homepage, I noticed a distinctive thumbnail. 

A punchy, vibrant red background emblazoned with a stark white, minimalist graphic of an arrowhead flower; that’s all there was to it. The title was equally as simple: “Hietsuki Bushi”, uploaded by “Omodaka”. At the time, I had no idea what any of those words meant, but I was riding high on my min’yo video binge, so naturally I clicked.

Imagine my surprise when, instead of hearing the bare twangs of shamisen like I was expecting, I was hit with a lush, multi-layered 8-bit melody mingling with a classical guitar’s gentle strums. Before I could process what I was hearing, a loud, piercing, siren-like horn cut through, and jarring though it was, I only became even more entranced in whatever the hell YouTube just recommended me. I was totally immersed.

Then the vocals kicked in.

To hear the powerful voice of a trained traditional folk singer sing about a tragic love story from the Kamakura era was absolutely breathtaking, especially with the blips and thrums of the 8-bit chords accenting it every few measures. The singer’s notes swooped up and down with confidence, working alongside the digital landscape of the background music to convey the melancholic longing of the narrator. I’d never listened to such a wonderful marriage between traditional and modern musical aesthetics before, and as soon as the video finished, I was already eager for the next song.

As it turns out, the skilled vocals I’d heard on Hietsuki Bushi and on subsequent tracks belonged to classically trained folk singer, Akiko Kanazawa (whose min'yo rendition of the Beatles’ “Yellow Submarine” is definitely worth checking out), but listening to her other works, it was clear that someone else had a hand in the skillful mixing of chiptunes and traditional folk standards I was hearing. After a few music videos and a deep-dive Internet investigation, I soon discovered that Omodaka was not just a one-off, eclectic min’yo mashup duo, but a collaborative project that combines traditional Japanese music with contemporary visual artists. But, behind all of it is one man—electronic music producer and DJ, Soichi Terada.

 An accomplished house techno artist and founder of record label Far East Recording, Terada has enjoyed listening to min’yo music since childhood, but felt he “couldn’t say that [he enjoyed min’yo]” to his friends because they weren’t interested in it. He experimented with min’yo/ house fusions, and over time, Terada developed a distinct sound that would define his label. Later on, spurred by a desire to collaborate with visual artist friends, Terada launched the Omodaka project in 2001.

The Omodaka project usually involves Terada’s friends creating fantastical, even psychedelic, animated music videos for his “techno folk” songs (a term Terada has coined to describe this niche genre). My personal favorites are “Yosowya-san”, with its side-scrolling 8-bit exploration of Japan’s gambling culture, and, of course, “Hietsuki Bushi”, an adventure of a love confession thwarted by portal jumping spacemen and a farmer/lion/bird chimera. Oh, and aliens. There are also several albums released under the Omodaka name too, each filled with songs beyond the wild, color bursting music videos.

Where the Omodaka project really shines, however, is during live performances. They are an unabashed bonanza of pure theatricality, with projections of Omodaka’s music videos flashing behind Terada as he waves around props like paper lanterns or bamboo flutes all throughout his set. Even Kanazawa makes an appearance during performances, singing to the audience virtually through the use of TV screens set up around the stage. 

Especially striking is Terada’s costume when he performs as Omodaka. Instead of his trademark, brightly colored shirts, Terada comes onstage wearing a white, plastic mask, a shaggy black wig, and miko (Japanese shrine maiden) religious robes. As Omodaka, Terada transforms into an uncanny, barely human, androgynous entity whose only goal seems to be to get the audience’s blood pumping to some good ol’ technofolk.

Best of all, when you look into the audience during an Omodaka show, it doesn’t consist of solely geriatric Japanese; it’s diverse and, importantly, it’s young. I’m certainly no expert in methods of preserving a cultural property like min’yo, but I think that Terada is taking a step in the right direction to make sure min’yo will stick around for a bit longer. Sure, perhaps some purists may condemn Terada’s genre mixing as sacrilegious to everything traditional folk music stands for. However, when I see the audiences during Omodaka’s performances sway their bodies to Kanazawa’s trilling and yell back kakegoe to Terada, I feel that wonderful energy that drew me into min’yo in the first place. All I hope is that some of these people will also go back and listen to the music that led to the Omodaka project, and appreciate the unique sound of min’yo, too.

If you would like to check out the Omodaka project or Terada’s other works (he’s composed music for video games as well!), I highly recommend looking at his label’s YouTube channel: “fareastrecording” (all lower case, no space). If you search “Omodaka - Topic” in the search bar, YouTube even has a curated playlist with Omodaka’s entire oeuvre! Omodaka is also on Spotify. Furthermore, Terada regularly updates a Twitter account which announces future performances and other exciting news, like the October 28th release of Omodaka’s newest album in five years!

[drealyn22]

Your analysis of the Samurai Champloo cast and their names was very interesting! But what do you think the symbolism of the red bird in Mugen's spiritual world and the end of the anime was? Is the fuukinchou theory really a complete debunk?

Hi there!

Sorry for my late reply. I had to think about this one a little bit.

My personal belief is that the fuukinchou theory is fully disproved. I see it as complete nonsense. Unfortunately it’s on Wikipedia and every other site that uses it as a source, but Wikipedia does not list a source of its own. Without a citation that points to the original, there’s no way to verify the information. I searched high and low, and could not find anything to validate this theory. That, combined with my own research, leads me to believe that the fuukinchou theory has no basis in fact. I’m confident that whoever came up with it either thought it sounded awesome and rushed to propagate the idea without fact-checking, or they’re privy to more detailed information than I’ve found in my research. If that information exists, I’d really like to see it. Especially if it’s an interview with Word of God. But until then, I’m standing firm: Fuu is not short for fuukinchou, and the red bird in the series is not a tanager.

Could the bird still be symbolic in some way? This is where I had to do some thinking. I’ve never found it to be particularly significant, but since you asked about it, I started looking at it in a broader context. I had a debate with myself, playing my own devil’s advocate, and I came up with a new theory about Mugen’s character–although I think it’s a stretch. 

Here it is:

Birds are an ongoing theme for Mugen. They appear to him every time he’s near death or occasionally at other significant times in his life.

I can’t possibly be the only one who’s thought of this, but I haven’t seen it anywhere else online. 

I lent my copy of Samurai Champloo to a friend several months ago, so I didn’t have a chance to skim through the series for examples. The ones listed below are from memory.

In the series’ opening credits, Mugen is represented by a rooster.

Birds appear multiple times in Misguided Miscreants, the two-part episode that explores Mugen’s backstory.

In his memories/flashbacks/whatever, there are crows eating away at a carcass on a beach. When they fly away, black feathers fall onto a skull. It’s definitely a symbol of death, and maybe more – violence and loneliness.

Mugen is drowning, and in his visions of death, when he falls through the bottom of the ocean, the splashes of water transform into white birds (doves maybe?) and fly away into an inverted sky. 

And of course, there’s our friend, the little red bird. Mugen is injured and exhausted as he stumbles along a path in a forest. He looks like he’s ready to die. Between heavy eyelids, he sees a red bird looking down at him, right before he passed out.

Also–this is not directly tied to Mugen, but it’s in there–Jin notices birds circling a local shrine, and it’s implied that that’s where Mukuro’s gang may have dumped the bodies from the seemingly deserted village.

Birds appear in the last episode of the series as well.

Mugen is again having visions as he’s near death. The crows encircle him and start to carry his body away into the spiritual world. When he hears Fuu’s voice, they release him and fly away.

And again, the little red bird appears in the end credits. It watches Mugen for a few moments and then flies away. He doesn’t seem to be aware of it like he was the first time. 

Now, I have to point out that some fans refer to the Paantu, the spiritual beings in Mugen’s visions when he’s near death, as the “crow men.” I don’t want anyone who’s reading my little theory here to think that the “crow men” are part of it. They’re not. The Paantu are not bird men. They aren’t covered with feathers; they’re covered in leaves and mud. (And if you go to the Paantu Festival on Miyako-jima, they’ll cover you in mud too.)

Back to the theory. 

Colors are interesting here. When Mugen sees the white birds, he is given a choice between life and death… actually the choice isn’t really offered to him; he demands it. He says he’s not ready to go yet. Then the Paantu disappear, he falls back into the ocean, and he ultimately survives the ordeal after Fuu finds him and cares for him.

The black birds appear twice and are clearly tied to death both times. The first time is when they’re pecking at the human skull, and the second time is when Mugen is dying in the last episode. 

I like to think that their first appearance symbolizes what Mugen’s future would have been if he’d died instead of being saved by Koza, or if he’d stayed on the path of piracy instead of fleeing to Japan. He would have become an anonymous corpse, picked apart and left to rot, a tragic victim of his own violent lifestyle. 

When the black birds return later in the series, Mugen is resigned to his fate. He doesn’t ask for a choice to live or die. This time it’s Fuu who demands that he come back. In this case, I think Mugen is allowed to live because his actions have redeemed him. When Fuu cries for him, in a way she’s testifying on his behalf. His life is valuable to her, and that means he has inherent self-worth.

Now for the red bird. It’s a vibrant color, and it’s the only bird that actually appears in real life. It’s not just a vision or fantasy or spiritual experience like the black or white birds. (”Not an illusion?” Hmm…) At the time when Mugen sees it, he appears to be somewhere between life and death. He’s delirious. He hasn’t traveled into the spiritual world yet, but things definitely aren’t looking good for him. 

It’s not clear why the red bird is there. Does it represent a major turning point? Is it because Mugen is between life and death? Is it because Koza saved him? Is the bird simply observing out of curiosity? Is it perhaps watching him in order to make some later judgment? Is it a guardian of some sort? Maybe it’s meant to encourage him to stay alive? Or maybe he notices it because he’s seen birds before in similar situations, and he knows what they usually mean? All we really know for sure is that Mugen was in bad shape, he saw the bird watching him, he passed out, and he woke up surrounded by streams of light and yellow butterflies (*cough*Cowboy Bebop The Movie*cough*) with Koza taking care of him.

When the red bird reappears in the end credits of the final episode, it observes for a moment, and then flies away. This could be a symbol of Mugen’s liberation and redemption. Maybe it means that Mugen won’t see any more birds for a while. Where the white and black birds released him from death, the red bird is releasing him into life. He has a newfound sense of purpose. Like Jin, he’s found something greater than himself to live for. Fighting is no longer a goal in and of itself, but a way to protect what’s important to him. 

Birds appear elsewhere in the series and don’t seem to have much significance, which why I think my own theory is a little flimsy. 

In the very first episode, at sunset right before Mugen and Jin are to be executed, a flock of birds flies up and they can be heard making noise. They’re actually shown twice because they’re part of the scene that takes place right at the start, before the rewind. 

In the second episode, a filcher bird steals their yakimanju. 

At the very beginning of Misguided Miscreants, there are seagulls at the beach before Fuu splashes in the ocean. This could be foreshadowing, if the writers actually planned the bird theme in advance, or it could be nothing. Beaches have seagulls. 

There are probably more that I’m forgetting. (Aren’t there birds in Beatbox Bandits–the episode at Hakone Checkpoint with the purple haze? I could swear there are some black birds around when Jin and Fuu are crucified, but I’d need to watch the episode to know for sure.) 

This is why initially the red bird didn’t seem significant to me. It’s just one bird out of many others featured throughout the show. It only appears twice in the series. The fact that it’s flying away during the end credits makes it look like it should be meaningful, but we’ve only seen it once before, and only for a few seconds. We never really know what it’s doing there. Its symbolism is not nearly as clear cut as the black birds, nor does it invoke the same emotional response. But I still think the points I mentioned above are worth consideration. Just because there are birds all over the place, it doesn’t necessarily mean the red bird is insignificant. It’s symbolism is just the little more subtle than the others. I like the idea that the red bird is a symbol of life for Mugen.

One of the other things that made me doubt myself is the fact that Fuu and Jin don’t have similar animals/symbols that represent their character development. But I re-thought that too, and I realized something: if we go back to the opening credits, it’s all right there. Jin is represented by fish and squid, and he has a recurring theme with water, while Fuu is represented by sunflowers and gourds/squash, and she spends the entire series searching for a grounding force by chasing after elusive sunflowers that are always wilting. I could probably do a whole analysis on each of them.

So that’s my theory on the red bird, and my own reasoning for and against. I’m sure after reading this lengthy diatribe, you’re probably sorry you asked in the first place. :) But I should thank you for asking because it got me thinking about things in a different way, which I always appreciate.

Let me know what you think?

[toomanyfeelings5]

2 5 & 13 for: ginny Weasley, cho Chang, hermione, gay nuns (never reblog these things while I'm online lol)

THANKS SAM I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Ahhh Ginny:

2. Their emotional/moral weak spots:

Ginny will hate you forever if you don’t support the Holyhead Harpies. You could be the best person but if you talk shit about the Harpies you’re dead to her. On a more serious note, she’s afraid of being vulnerable with people after the diary possession, and she hates losing control over her life, or feeling like she’s lost control over her life. On a moral note, she can sometimes do stuff for her own reputation and not because it’s necessarily the right thing to do.

5. Guilty Pleasures: 

She takes REALLY LONG BATHS, like she gets all pruney and doesn’t care, she loves it. Ginny also secretly watches the Great British Bakeoff but is ALSO obsessed with cooking shows in the USA. she gets very passionate about it all. which is hilarious, because she can’t cook for shit.

13. What Gets Them Flustered:

for harry/ginny: whenever harry says, “your hair is a sunset,” (he says this a lot) whenever harry kisses her in public (with tongue, because neither of them have any fucks to give), whenever harry says, “thank you for being my wife,” in a very conversational, matter-of-fact way, whenever harry helps ginny cut her hair short.

for ginny/luna: whenever luna kisses her hand, whenever luna braids her hair, whenever luna calls her, “darling,” whenever luna shows her some really cool magical creature specimen and smiles really wide and tells her, “it’s not as pretty as you, of course.” sometimes luna is telling a joke to people and winks at ginny, like they both know what’s funny, and ginny blushes every time. 

the thing to remember here is that ginny is a bisexual sap no matter what. 

Cho Chang!!!!

2. Cho can be too forgiving–she’s no pushover, but she avoids conflict like the plague with the people she’s close to, and would rather keep her friends instead of potentially making them angry at her. She hates being alone. She hates talking about difficult things. At her most afraid, she can choose what’s convenient over what’s right. She always knows when she does something wrong, but often does it anyway.  

5. CHO READS SO MANY TRASHY WIZARD ROMANCE NOVELS. SO MANY.  She loves and over-analyzes every single one of them. She also secretly loves playing against Harry or Cedric at Quidditch matches but DON’T TELL HER TEAMMATES THAT. 

13. ok so cho blushes all the time, it’s just a fact, but that being said, here’s what gets her flustered: whenever harry leaves terrible little poems for her on the fridge before work, whenever cedric gives her flowers he picked himself from their garden, whenever harry kisses her collarbone, whenever cedric puts his hand on her thigh in public and it’s (mostly) innocuous and casual but cho has read too many romance novels, whenever harry and cedric ask her about the book she’s reading. 

Hermioneeeeeeeee:

2. i feel like her emotional and moral weak spots are explored pretty well in the books, but i will add that hermione has a lot of internalized misogyny to get over, and also that she can be impatient and insensitive with others when wanting to achieve a goal. 

5. hermione and cho have a book club where they talk about the latest TRASHY ROMANCE NOVEL they’ve read. ginny is nominally a part of this club except she tends to skim the books and ends up with only like, 20% of the plot. it’s great. anyway, hermione also loves knitting even though she’s bad at it, and she is ALSO a huge secret fan of those reality tv paranormal detective shows. she points out when it’s a real ghost and when it’s a fake ghost and gets really into it. 

13. hermione gets flustered whenever she’s like, mid-rapid-fire-rant about nothing in particular and ron just gets this big goofy smile and says, “i’m so glad you married me,” and also whenever ron beats her at chess, which they play regularly, it’s like one of their date night things. also whenever her and ron are in a heated debate and ron bites his lip. let’s be real, they both like to solve (ultimately unimportant) arguments with making out. 

IT’S TIME FOR THE GAY NUNS:

Ana:

2. she has a lot of deep-seated insecurity and as a result tends to lash out at the slightest criticism. she can be cruel to preserve her reputation and her self-image. she doesn’t care about the rules, but she PRETENDS that she does with the right people–hypocritical. will back-stab and cheat and gossip and do almost anything to feel valued. wants attention all the time. can be willfully ignorant about her flaws/what’s right–stubborn. can be petty, selfish, melodramatic. loves pranking people, causing chaos, being purposely obnoxious (when it suits her). 

5. she secretly loves going to church, but not because she’s very religious or anything–it’s calming, and she can ignore her family under the guise of prayer, and she can vent to God. she’s like “animals are kind of gross who needs them as pets,” but she loves cats, and no, she’s not projecting, she’s just going to make sure that this random kitten found starving in the convent is going to be LOVED and APPRECIATED LIKE SHE DESERVES. 

13. where do i fucking start. you’d THINK that she’d be like, super smooth and coy and shit, and she is sometimes, because she’s a terrible flirt when she wants to be, but mostly whenever juliana like, smiles right at her, ana internally combusts. ana also gets flustered whenever juliana kisses her knuckles, or says, “god loves you, as i do,” or whenever juliana laughs at a joke ana tells. it’s like, literally any time whenever juliana is really gentle and soft towards her. they could be making out and it’s all good but then idk, juliana’s like “you have such nice eyes” and ana is like “im deceased” bless her. 

Juliana:

2. she can put her spiritual needs above everything else–ie, thinking, “i have god who needs anything else.” can get in her own head too much. she gets irritable and snide when she lets stuff pent up, which is often. proud, hates change, holds grudges. is incredibly strict with her morals because she’s super catholic, (and pedantic), BUT she can also put the institution of the church over god/what’s right. she acts rigid and cold and self-righteous, and she can be all of those things, but this masks her deeply-felt loneliness and exhaustion over not being understood. hates feeling out of control. 

5. juliana actually really loves dancing. she’s not that great at it, but she loves it. she also loves hearing all about conrad’s illegal pirate adventures, even though they’re technically sinful. she also secretly loves to sing. AND she secretly loves watching plays. and bad jokes. 

13. ok so juliana gets flustered whenever ana is super flirty with her, whenever ana kisses the back of her neck, whenever ana says, “you’re lovely,” whenever ana looks at her after juliana is done praying, whenever ana sends her that classic gay smirk when some rando visiting the convent is like, “it’s so great that you’re friends.” also omg here’s the thing. juliana gets Especially Flustered whenever anyone talks about shit about her, and ana gets really protective. juliana doesn’t need to be rescued 24/7 or anything like that, but she really loves it when ana is like “I’LL KNIFE YOU” if someone is like “juliana is uncool” or whatever and juliana gets v flustered. these gays are ridiculous. 

[showlexsite]

Malaysian females – The best option for dating and relationships

Malaysian females – The best option for dating and relationships

Lots of men from western nations hear rumors about stunning, exotic, and mystical women that are malaysian. Those women through the remote Asian lands are incredibly desirable and specialized in their guys so it’s a real challenge to make contact with them. But, we provide you the chance to locate a perfect partner possibly also for lifelong. Obtaining a Malaysian woman may be the switching point out create a pleased future for males of most many years, this is actually the truth you’re going to face after using those girls in the very first date.

Why Malaysian Women Can Be therefore Popular?

That’s one of many top concerns on the electronic relationship scene in 2019. Just what makes guys lose their sleep thinking about all those girls that are malaysian? An universal response to this concern will not occur any place in the universe, it is a matter of individual choice for just about any man that is interested in the women from Malaysia. So just why are Malaysian ladies therefore alluring? Here you will find the reasons that are main.

Malaysian Girls are Stunning

It would likely seem far fetched, yet Malaysian brides look as charming and exotic from the pages of glossy mags and Instagram because they do in true to life. These girls embody a combo that is unique of and elegance that produces a guy blindfolded through the very very very first second of meeting one another. You will probably have the lady in your flavor, from tiny and minuscule sweeties to your porcelain-skinned girls with curvy systems and blond locks of creamy shade.

Ladies from Malaysia Prefer Style

Design is just one of the main things they look closely at. Whenever Malaysian ladies for marriage like to wow their partner, they’re everything that is doing the toolbox of a lady to seduce you. In Malaysia, girls usually wear a hijab, nonetheless it does not decrease their appearance that is sexual and of looking therefore well. Fashion and traditions in this national nation are interrelated, so women can be mentioned searching ideal for guys around them.

Malaysian Spouses will be the Most Readily Useful People

Once you consider somebody when it comes to life time, realize that Malaysian spouses would be the most readily useful people you’ll find in Asia. The lifestyle is followed by those women chosen by you. They’ve been attached with their husbands with all the invisible strings of love and self-sacrifice. Many guys through the United States or Canada try not to think that Malaysia may be the nation because of the divorce rate that is lowest when you look at the Asian area. Guys from Malaysia needs to be infinitely grateful for such wives, but they’re perhaps not like this. Utilize this for the advantage and just just just take lonely women into your hugs.

What exactly are Malaysian Brides Like

Have you figured out exactly just just what hides the secret associated with the Asian soul sealed under a sealed lock? Have you ever wished for the truthful soulmate who’ll be there for your needs no real matter what occurs? Then you probably understand Malaysian women much better than you think if you manage to answer these 2 questions. For individuals who aren’t therefore knowledgeable about girls with this nation, we happily respond to just what A malaysian wife is like.

Malaysians choose the Only 1

In Malaysia, many towns are saturated in lonely women that go out each night. Exactly why are they therefore adventurous? The reason being of loneliness that lets their hearts plunge into the unknown. Imagine just how tiring it may be to venture out like this all of the time. Nearly all women are seeking a partner online via online dating services. Malaysian mail purchase brides may be the regular demand googled by females to become listed on dating searching for a person they need. However, once they look for a beloved gent who satisfies them, she’s perhaps not planning to allow you to slip away at any circumstances.

Get ready to Meet Her Close Circle

The process like this could be frightening and intimidating during the exact same time. Nevertheless, you must know as a compliant person to her family and friend circle that she will be testing you. Remaining tuned into her individual life may be the guarantee that produces her fall in love also for a much deeper degree. Pass this action and almost truly have the woman that is all-time will appear at you aided by the character of passion burning inside her eyes.

Where you could satisfy Malaysian Brides?

It is the ultimate concern when it comes to guys who wish to date Malaysian girls of extraordinary beauty and figure that is charming. All you have to do is follow several really simple steps to start exploring the world of the Malaysian sweethearts. To begin with, the easiest method is always to go Malaysian open ocean resorts where those ladies are sunbathing. You can examine down over those girls aesthetically, evaluating them. The very first greenlight to see that she accepts you could be the laugh. Yes, that is right, a smile that is simple whether she’s into you.

Well, there is certainly another, more contemporary and digital means of fulfilling Malaysian women online. It’s, needless to say, online dating services that host numerous of pages of most those hungry Asian singles who would like to have a piece of a great, honest man from America, Canada, or the British. They appreciate your character additionally the known amount of security you embody. By selecting dating that is online you should think about a few arguments which favor this type of means of conference and enjoying the Malaysian chicks:

With the selected dating agency, take a look at whether they have significantly more than 10+ pages of girls. Variety could be the indication that the solution is certainly not a scam and utilizes confirmed pictures of girls from Malaysia whom asked them to accomplish this.

Read the objectives for the girls that have permitted to publish their profile pictures. Females from Malaysia usually suggest their objectives when searching for some body via on line online dating services.

Hurrying isn’t obligatory nor for your needs neither for them. Anticipating that every those ladies from on the web Malaysian dating web sites are likely to request you to marry them is a bit silly. Prepare for chatting, seducing, and using her down before something that looks like the narrative above.

Where to find a reliable malaysian dating web site?

To meet up with and luxuriate in girls from Malaysia on a dating internet site, you need to stick to the signs and symptoms of dependability owing to every girl that is verified. The very first strategy is to utilize reputable and popular platforms that have individual testimonials on it. Another action is always to select the site that has not merely testimonials but additionally provides About Us and Terms of Policy sections. All appropriate web sites must follow those criteria become authorized by Google, therefore it’s your task to test out of the internet site for conformity in accordance with the criteria of this search giant.

Dependable dating internet sites also provide appealing, user-friendly design perhaps not cluttered by having a stack of adverts that appear at you against every part. Then consider this website as fraud and move to the one which occupies the higher charts in Google search if you see that the website incorporates any fishing elements that could exploit your private data and steal the bank account asking for payments from the first seconds of your staying out on the page.

https://mail-order-bride.net/bulgarian-brides/ bulgarian brides club

How to build a Malaysian Woman?

To attract A malaysian woman, it is not required to be some type of superman. They value sincerity and transparency when you look at the relationships, they are the top priorities they’ve been carrying available for their life time. Honesty should indeed be an integral with their heart, keep that in your mind. They even usually do not wish guys become much richer than these are typically. From the class that is same vital for giving support to the feeling of love and shared help between both lovers. Finally, being a gentleman will probably melt her heart just like a piece of cheese. Smile to her, ask just exactly how her time had been, so when she undresses, just take her layer and place for a hanger.

Also in the event that you got a Malaysian mail purchase bride, she is still likely to remain house or apartment with you regarding the event. Than you think if you feel tense and want to stay home to watch a movie or sip a beer, the right companion will be closer. She’s perhaps not planning to be concerned about heading out together with her band that is chick of to get you to be worried about the commitment between you. Rather, in the event that you clarify that the mood points during the homestay, anticipate an optimistic and supportive response to hanging out together at your home.

Summary

The key goal of dating the girl from Malaysia is to find a reliable and loving partner – this is the initial idea of your search in the end. We encourage you to definitely find out of the best fitting Malaysian ladies that are planning to come with you through the entire life time, or even for one or two hours times. Those girls are tender, soft, and loving. Keep that in your mind the next occasion you’ll grab them for a romantic date.

Source: https://showlex.site/2020/03/27/malaysian-females-the-best-option-for-dating-and-2/

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[pryngols]

“A story was a form of telepathy. By means of inking symbols onto a page, she was able to send thoughts and feelings from her mind to her reader’s. It was a magical process, so commonplace that no one stopped to wonder at it.” ― Ian McEwan, Atonement

2019 favorites shortlist

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope 2020 has been kind to you so far. As promised, here I am with my 2019 wrap-up. As you can tell from the above photo I had a tough time coming up with a strict Top 10 favorites. From my initial list of 40 I was able to narrow it down to 24, then down to just 10. It was really challenging but lots of fun, too. I am happy to report that I have been successful with my 2019 reading goals: 1) to read diverse authors and genre, 2) to reach my Goodreads goal of 100 books 3) to build my Netgalley profile and 4) to join blog tours.

I am a mood reader so this will be a diverse list. As a friend of mine once said, one can never know what I’ll be reading next. I hope you connect with some of my favorite books, too. Without further ado– presenting my Top 10 Favorite Reads of 2019, in no particular order:

  My Cousin Rachel by Daphne du Maurier – was absolutely stunning, the perfect mix of romantic gothic mystery. It’s a tragic but beautiful tribute to the female charm and power.

    Fates and Furies by Lauren Groff – a hypnotizing tale of a unique marriage between two very intense forces.  This book is on point about everything that a marriage is and is not. Though I found the first part a bit dragging at times, the second half of the book simply took my breath away. There is no love story like Lotto and Mathilde.

  This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone is a short but intense scifi read that leaves you wanting more. It’s an epistolary romance that surprised me with an unexpected level of passion.

  Everything Under by Daisy Johnson – as I have discussed on a previous post, this book is a heady meditation on language and memory, as we follow the story of a mother and daughter living on a boat by a river. It’s an intoxicating mix of folklore, contemporary and magical realism.

  In Cold Blood by Truman Capote – This book is more than your average crime thriller, not only because it is based on a true story, but because it is a lengthy meditation on a nation’s culture of violence, the insufficiency of justice systems, and explores the reader’s limits for empathy. ⁣

  Atonement by Ian McEwan –  is perhaps the saddest love story ever told. It’s simply beautiful, heartbreaking and unforgettable. The best thing about it is how the author used the form and structure of the novel to get his message across. Remarkable.

  Solanin (Solanin #1-2) by Inio Asano – though not as polished and sophisticated as some of Asano’s popular novels, this one has become my favorite among his works. The raw emotions and simplicity of style made the story not only more relatable but also showcased the artist’s storytelling prowess, without his usual embellisments.

  The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank – I honestly felt like I had a wonderful friend in Anne Frank while I was reading her writing, and it is such a privilege to be able to do so. These are thoughts of a brilliant young girl, way ahead of her time. I devoured all her entries as though I was the one who needs comfort, and not she. Though I knew how it all ends, I was not prepared with the amount of tears I shed on the last few pages.

  Miracle Creek by Angie Kim – is the book that surprised me the most this year. It is an intricate and soulful tale that will challenge the way we see humanity: its relationships, its sense of justice, and the consequences of our actions no matter how big or small. I talked about this in length here.

  The Lottery and Other Stories by Shirley Jackson –  I love the build up of tension, the quiet sadness and the terror of human loneliness. It is one of those rare short stories collections wherein all of the stories are equally great, or at least wonderfully curated to make the whole thing a cohesive masterpiece. I talked more about this book here.

  Of course I just can’t limit my favorites to just 10 (I’m so sorry!) I still have a lot more to recommend, so here are some of the honorable mentions:

CRIME/THRILLERS

The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides

Twisted by Steve Cavanagh

FANTASY 

Castle in the Air (Howl’s Moving Castle #2) by Diana Wynne Jones

A Hat Full of Sky (Discworld #32) by Terry Pratchett

GRAPHIC NOVELS 

Patience by Daniel Clowes

Smashed: Junji Ito Story Collection by Junji Ito

Sleepwalk and Other Stories by Adrian Tomine

QUIET BLOCKBUSTERS – These titles are not so popular, and they are not action-packed or exciting or thrilling, but I love them for being beautifully and skillfully written, with exceptional insight to the human psyche.

Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata

A Separation by Katie Kitamura

Rosalind by Judith Deborah

WORTH THE HYPE 

Illuminae series (The Illuminae Files) by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

HARD TO READ FAVORITES – These titles are some of my most loved reads this year, and they did not make the Top 10 list only because they were not as effortlessly enjoyable as the others, and have taken me a lot longer to read. But they are definitely more than worth it.

The Vorrh (The Vorrh Trilogy #1) by Brian Catling

Fire & Blood (A Targaryen History #1) by George R.R. Martin

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov

  Below are some screenshots from my favorite bookish tracking app/community Goodreads. If you are also a member there, let’s connect! Add me here.

  Some interesting statistics!

  I have read a total of 151 books. 151! My personal best. ⁣ ⁣ 2020’s goal is to actually read less. As much as I love reading, I think last year has been more of a therapy for me, a sort of escape from reality. 2019 is the worst year of the decade for me and my mental health. So I’d like to DO more this year. I’m hoping to do online courses, go back to running, travel, more projects!! Wish me luck.

I remember how when I first started my bookstagram and this book blog, one of my main reasons for doing so is that I wanted to have a platform where I can talk about books. Before all this, when I finish a book I just mark it as “Read” on Goodreads and then move on. I am somehow left with a feeling of loss because I knew I might eventually forget how or why I loved a certain novel. Currently, I am at least comforted by the fact that I now belong to a community that celebrates the same passion for reading, that always welcomes me when I have all sorts of book hangover. I can now say farewell (see you later!) with ease to these stories, and most importantly–I don’t feel so alone anymore.

All I am trying to say is thank you for being here and for tolerating my bookish obsession. Being a part of the bookish and blogging communities has not only motivated me to read more, but has also encouraged me to do more of what I love. I have learned how to be comfortable with my own thoughts, and to be more open to other’s as well.

⁣I appreciate each and every one of you. Care to share some of your 2020 goals, bookish or not? Let’s chat in the comments! 🥂⁣

    Princess & Pages Year in Books 2019 “A story was a form of telepathy. By means of inking symbols onto a page, she was able to send thoughts and feelings from her mind to her reader's.

[carltschweitzer]

Refraining From Letting Ourselves Numb Out

By Leo Babauta

Much of our lives is spent numbing out to what we’re experiencing.

We don’t want to feel uncomfortable, so we seek comforts and procrastinate.

We don’t want to feel fear, so we avoid uncertain situations.

We don’t want to stay in the present moment, so we distract ourselves with technology, or get lost in thoughts about the past or future.

And we are so good at numbing ourselves to our experience. This is not a judgment — I do it too.

But what if we blocked all of our exits, and stopped ourselves from numbing out or escaping being present to our feelings and the moment in front of us?

What if we committed to not running to our favorite numbing methods?

Favorite Numbing Methods & Some Alternatives to Numbing Out

Let’s consider the some of the most popular kinds of numbing methods (see if you do any of them) and consider some alternatives to Numbing Out:

Procrastination and running to distractions — when you feel like a task is too overwhelming, too difficult/uncomfortable, to uncertain/scary, etc. Alternative: What would happen if, whenever you don’t feel like doing a task, you just stopped and felt what it’s like to not want to do the task. Pause and feel your discomfort, your resistance, your aversion to doing the task. Feel the insecurity in your body. You might be able to do the task anyway, after feeling this.

Social media, messaging & online reading. It’s all very interesting! But it’s also taking you away from feeling anything, because your mind is on your device. You also can’t notice the present moment, right in front of you. Alternative: If you couldn’t check social media or your messages, or read anything online, what might you do instead? You might open your awareness to everything around you right now, keeping your attention on that for a few minutes. You might check in with yourself and notice what you’re feeling, and let yourself actually feel it. That might not be a pleasant feeling if you’re feeling irritated, anxious, insecure. Feel it anyway.

Video games. Games can be engrossing and tons of fun, and addictive. Much like social media, you can’t actually feel anything or notice anything around you (or within you) if your attention is completely absorbed by the computer game. Alternative: Same as with social media and online reading above. Feel. Notice. Be in the present moment. See what it’s like to stay.

TV & watching videos. Same as video games and social media — we watch because it’s pleasurable, interesting, fun. Nothing wrong with those feelings, but they numb us to our inner feelings, from loneliness and sadness and anger and frustration, from guilt and loss and pain and feelings of inadequacy. Why feel those things when great TV shows or Youtube channels are available? Because avoidance never solved anything, it only makes it worse. Alternative: Feel. Stay in the feeling. Open up to it. Be in the middle of it, immersed, curious, relaxing into it, being courageous. Also see what it’s like outside!

Busyness. Maybe you barely ever go on social media, play video games, watch TV shows or videos, or lazily read online … you work like a maniac! From the moment you awake until you’re crashing for the night, you are constantly busy. And avoiding being present. Avoiding feeling whatever you’re feeling, which is probably some anxiety and insecurity. Alternative: Stop. Don’t take any action for at least 10 minutes. Just recenter yourself in the present moment. Feel the insecurity. Notice the urge to do something, and just sit with the urge.

Porn & sex. Many people run to sexual gratification when they’re feeling tired, lonely, sad, tense. It’s a way to get a quick pleasurable hit, and a feeling of release. And a way to avoid feeling the feels. Alternative: Don’t let yourself run here. Block it out for a month (see next section below). Be present with the feelings. See what it’s like to feel an urge for release without actually acting on the urge. Woah, you’re moving beyond your teenage mindset!

Addictions. Alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, gambling, biting your nails, and also many of the other things on this list are some of the most common addictions, and every single one is a way to numb out to the difficult feelings we don’t want to face. You are triggered to go to your addiction when you need stress relief, when you’re tired, lonely, sad, angry, tense. They are classic ways to not feel these feelings. Alternative:

Comfort foods, shopping, other comforts. When you’re feeling sad, lonely, tired, stressed or inadequate … what do you do to comfort yourself? Common choices are foods, drinks, shopping, or many of the other things on this list. Sure, comforting yourself isn’t bad … but do you let yourself feel it first? Just feel what you’re feeling? Or do you want to exit that feeling right away. Alternative: It’s OK to feel sad. To really feel it. It’s OK to feel stress. Allowing ourselves to feel everything, to fully face it and fully feel it, is not a negative thing. It’s actually loving, to not reject your feelings and the present experience. Try it once today and see if you can be friendly to whatever feelings arise in you.

Lashing out. When we’re feeling insecurity, we often feel it as frustration or anger, and lash out at others in various ways. This can, of course, be hurtful to the other person and harmful to our relationships. Alternative: Try not lashing out, but instead allowing yourself to feel the insecurity. Just be in it, without having to resolve the feeling. Just stay in it, without having to take it out on someone else.

There are other ways to numb out, to avoid feeling, to exit … but you’re getting the idea by now. Note the ways you exit, and see if you can avoid exiting instead.

Consider Closing Your Exits

What if you committed for a month (or three) to not going to any of your usual exits, your usual numbing out methods? What would that be like for you?

If you created a practice container (see below) for not going to any of your exits … you’d be forced to feel. Forced to be present to your experience.

It wouldn’t be easy. But nothing worthwhile is ever easy. You are going to do this because:

You want to learn to be fearless with your fear, courageous with your feelings, and finally fully experience them instead of avoiding them.

You want to be present to our experience and the current moment, appreciate the life in front of you instead of constantly avoiding it.

You want to explore a more mindful, intentional way of being. And change your relationship with life.

To do this, you have to close your exits. Not let yourself run. Create a container for yourself, so that you can go deep into this practice.

Creating a Container for Closing Your Exits

A practice container is simply a sent of boundaries, rules, agreements, structure … to hold you in practice.

For example, if you go to a yoga class three times a week, and have a teacher leading you through practice, with rules for not checking your phone or talking during practice, this is a structure that helps you go deeper into the meditation — it’s a container for your yoga practice.

You’d set the same kind of container for sitting meditation (no going on your phone or laptop, for example, or otherwise you’re not even meditating), for relationship practice, for therapy. Structure helps you see when you’re running to your exits, helps you set an intention for practice and stay with that intention more, helps you to explore in safety.

Some ideas for creating a container for practicing not exiting or numbing:

Decide on a practice period. Set a period for your practice (let’s say 1 month) and commit to it. It’s ironclad.

Define your exits. Set the things you’re not allowed to do during this period. For example: no social media, no video games, no porn, no alcohol, no pot, no sweets, no fried foods, no going to your favorite online sites (reddit, youtube, blogs, news, etc.).

Define other triggers. Highlight other triggers: when you find yourself being busy without intention, or procrastinating, pause and practice for a minute or two. When you find yourself mindlessly going to food, pause and practice.

Set allowable things. Create small containers for things you need to do … for example: messaging and email just twice a day at predetermined times. Sex with partner just once every two weeks. Other things you might want to allow yourself to do: yoga, meditation, going for a walk and being present to the world around you, talking with a friend when you’re struggling and being open-hearted with them, taking a bath or drinking tea but being fully there with the experience and your feelings as you do it.

Define your practice. Set what kind of practice you want to do when you’re feeling urges to go to addictions, distractions, etc. For example: when you feel the urge to exit, you’ll pause and first turn inward, noticing what you’re feeling. Then give yourself at least a minute to actually feel it, dropping into the sensations of your body, fully feeling it, being curious with it, being friendly towards your feeling. Also allow your awareness to widen beyond your body, noticing the sensations of the world around you, feeling it as pure experience.

Commit to others. Tell your plan to others. Ask for them to hold you to this commitment. Make sure they’re the kind of people who won’t let you off the hook, who will love you fiercely in this practice. Tell them you’re going to report daily on an email thread.

Report daily. Start an email thread for your commitment to others, and report to them every single day. Ask people to check on you if you’re not reporting.

Can you do this? Absolutely you can. Your fears, resistance and rationalizations for why you can’t do this are exactly why you should.

[seachelleann-blog]

I am Rachelle Ann Ramos Domingo, a plain-vanilla with a kaleidoscopic personality who was born in the 24th day of March, Year of the Dragon (2000). In my family, I'm the oldest, the youngest, the middle child, and the favorite. How can just one person hold all of these titles? Well, when you're an only child, it's easy. Oh yes, you read that right! Luckily, I am the first and last born child of Mr. Roger A. Domingo and Mrs. Divina R. Domingo but take note, #IAmNotASpoiledBrat.

It is true that when you are an only child, there are so many great things that can come from it; more attention, more self-confidence, the solid bond that you have with your parents, the ability to talk to grown-ups from a young age, and countless others. But there’s also the bad parts that people often times don’t see; the loneliness, having no one that’s forced to love you unconditionally, and not having a constant in your life other than your parents. It’s a blessing and a burden tho hoho :D So, if you think that we are different. Think again! We are the same; we’re just in different situation.

Some people know me as Bong and Divine’s baby and some know me as everybody’s friend. Some people think I’m chummy, others conceive I’m surly. Some says, I’m too young to be so serious in life but others say that at times I’m a little bit immature. People who really know me  said that, I am approachable, blunt, confident, delicate, easy-going, fussy, generous, helpful, inexperienced, joyous, kind, lethargic, mature, naive, outspoken, passionate, quiet, reliable, selfless, talented, uncertain, vigilant, warmhearted, xtraordinary, vulnerable and zealous. They can describe me using adjectives with a letter starting from A to Z. Amazing, right? But the thing is I AM REALLY HARD TO UNDERSTAND. There are times that I experienced being extravert and sometimes introvert. The only thing that I’m sure of is that I can be everyone or everybody’s friend, as long as you are an understanding person. I love to help if you have problems or need something. Just feel free to open up. 

I can also describe myself as a human with a far-out habit. Way back, I can say that my childhood life is somehow boring because I didn’t experienced what kids usually do. I didn’t experienced playing active games outside; instead, I play arcade games with my Dad or ride bumper cars at Star City, went goofing around at Wildlife or Manila Zoo and staying up ‘til 8 P.M at the mall just to explore a maze of tubes and end up sliding to a sea of balls. Obviously, I’m always with my Dad but it doesn’t mean that I don’t have childhood friends.

When I was 6 years old, my Mom enrolled me at Center for Pop Music. It is where I met my childhood friends and I am proud to say, it is where my idol, Sarah Asher Geronimo took her voice lesson when she was still new in show business. I remembered how I hate my voice coach for letting me sing Rachelle Ann Go’s songs just because we have the same name. I think this experience was the highlight of my childhood because I got to do what I love which is performing.

Just a li’l bit of sharing…

There’s nothing too special about my grade school days except the fact that I enjoyed going to different places here in Cagayan because of contests. Honestly, I am not proud that from kindergarten to sixth grade, I’m on top when it comes to academics, because I didn’t maintain it when I was in high school. But at least, my parents are proud and for that I am very happy and contented. 

I consider my Junior High School experience as the best chapter of my life so far. Why? It is because I met new friends that I consider my second family now, they are my classmates, THE EXAL FAM. I also met two brothers who had done a great part in my life; Kuya Sid Toshio and my Sir/ Kuya Keyd. They are our coaches, not just in terms performing but also our coaches in living life to the fullest.

 And of course, I want you guys to meet the reason behind why this plain-vanilla had a kaleidoscopic personality. My #Team Eiffel! I hope someday our dream to live in Paris will soon come true. But for now, we are busy collecting any stuff that have Eiffel Tower.

Everything is quite fine, ‘til Senior High School came. I was so excited before until it comes to a point that I expected too much, not from anyone but from me, myself alone. I experienced depression that caused me to not perform well in school and in everything. I even questioned my existence that time. Well, it was a not so good experience for me so I won’t tell you something more about it. All I wanted to share is, because of that horrible experience I became closer to God. And I also realize that no matter what happens family will always be there. They won’t get tired helping, guiding and understanding you, so you must learn how to value and appreciate them because in the end, they are all you have. Also be thankful to all the friends who didn’t leave you, they are your treasure.

 Where do I see myself ten years from now?

 No one knows what tomorrow brings, but it’s okay and it is better if we imagine things in the future so that we will be motivated to do well in our present life.

Ten years from now, probably I’ll be twenty- eight years old, meaning I am mature enough to handle things on my own. At this age, I see myself as a hardworking nurse doing everything for her patients just to be sure that they’re fine. And behind this busy person, there’s this strong determination inside her to still pursue or continue her passion in performing that may help her to save more money to give her parents the business they want, which I think is a restaurant. Hopefully, despite of being busy and all, I can still have my “Me Time” and the “VinBoChel Time” that I love the most.

Was my learning in SPUP vital to where I’m leading to?

SPUP is indeed helpful and vital to where I am leading to. Aside from the knowledge I got from academics, I also learned how to be makatao and makalikasan which SPUP wants me to be, not just for myself but for the sake of all and specially to our loving God. This learning that I have will soon make me a successful one. Big thanks to SPUP!

Was STEM is the best choice after all?

I can feel that almost all students are afraid to take this strand, but I strongly believe that all strands are difficult; they are all the same, just in different situations. For me, STEM will always be the best choice because this is the right path that will lead me to my dream profession which is being a successful nurse or a doctor. This strand has subjects that help me be more knowledgeable about the course that I will take up in college.

What course will you take in college and why?

Helping people, taking care of them and healing them physically or emotionally makes my heart genuinely happy, that’s why I chose to take up BS Nursing for College and if God permits, I will study again to be a good Doctor. Another reason is that, since I am an only child, this will be an advantage for me because I’ll be knowledgeable enough in taking good care of my parents.

What topic would you like to learn more in this subject?

I would love to learn more about editing and making good photos, videos and of course music. I also want to widen my knowledge about having a business online.

#AskSirCarlos

Good day, Sir Babaran! What advice can you give to a person like me?