#applied for a public service job for neurodivergent people

[astyrra]

applying for jobs :(

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

How do you think an Autism diagnosis could impact you when you get a job and hurt you in general?

Disclaimer: this is just based off of personal research, I’m very sure that I’m missing some info here, don’t take my word as gospel.

1) In applying for jobs this summer, most online applications will ask you to “voluntarily list” any disabilities you have that might hinder you from being able to perform the job. Autism is typically included in the list of disabilities for customer service jobs that might keep you from completing the job; ADHD isn’t. Granted, they can’t technically force me to say, but if it were to come up in an interview that I or another applicant were autistic, it could easily be a ding against the application.

2) In legal battles, such as for custody of children, having autism can count against your case, especially if someone argues that your disability could make you unfit to be a parent/guardian/etc. This is the main example I’ve heard about from a legal standpoint, but given my country’s history with eugenics and ableism, I strongly doubt that it’s the only one.

3) Let’s be honest, public perception of autism is gosh awful, and ableism is alive and well in my country. I’d rather not be talked over or treated like an idiot, which is unfortunately common for autistic people, and I’d also rather avoid the savant trope of “oh u have autism?? What superpower do u have? Does this mean you’re good at math?” Just. Media portrayal of autism is awful, I don’t want to deal with the stereotypes and ableism that come with that, it sounds like a pain.

4) Plus, like, I don’t need a ton of accommodations in a work or school setting? I’ve never had the need for an IEP or smth like that, I usually just ask teachers if I can bring my fidgets in so I can focus, or if I can work in the hallway. Yeah, I have some sensory issues, but not to the point where it would prevent me from performing my job. So, unless my symptoms become more obtrusive/impact my quality of life enough where I’d need a more solid diagnosis or more rigorous support system, I don’t see much of a point in it. I’m comfortable just calling myself neurodivergent, yanno?

[stimmywombat]

Abled People Please Stop Doing This (Let Us Eat in Peace)

So the other day in a class specifically about disability we had a guest speaker who was in a high up position in one of the local disability agencies.

At one point he was talking about how he was eating at a college food court type area and he saw someone in a wheelchair eating lunch alone and he was like bemoaning what this says about this society and why wouldn’t his classmates eat with him.

And my neurodivergent ass is standing there just thinking “dude you have never had anyone try to be pity friends with you”. When I was younger I was bullied a lot and I had times in my life when I didn’t have a friend group. Sometimes as a result one of my classmates would get it into their head (or an authority figure would pointedly imply) that they would be seen as a good person if they tried to be my friend.

So this person who had basically never talked to me would suddenly try to sit with me at lunch. These “friendships” often never lasted more than once. These people were not motivated to make friends with me because of anything about me as a person but because I was disabled. This would give the relationship an uneven power dynamic immediately. I didn’t have other friends at the moment so I was supposed to be grateful to them for deigning to be my friend. I was expected to settle for a relationship that was not genuine.

In extreme cases I had bullies try to utilize this dynamic pretending that I was their friend while constantly making fun of me to their real friends and acting like I was being mean and she was just selflessly trying to be friends whenever I showed any discomfort with this.

So now that we’ve defined what pity friendship is. How does encouraging people to force inclusion on disabled folks encourage this?

To start off, the particular scenario of asking to eat with someone in a public area especially in elementary/high school cafeterías where an entire school or your entire class is eating in the same place and can’t leave. Which makes who you eat with a signifier of social status when it just isn’t in the adult world. It makes it so that public pressure curtails the persons ability to say no and this especially is true when an uneven power dynamic is already in place (nt/nd, amount of social capital).

As I stated who you eat with is not a signifier of social status in the adult world. So this assertion when applied to a college population is a bit baffling as it is pretty typical for college students to eat alone for numerous reasons (weird schedules, working on homework while you eat etc) Given my own experience with college eateries there were probably 20 abled folks in this place eating alone that this guy didn’t even notice.

This also assumes that the disabled person in question doesn’t have the agency to make/choose their own friends or to choose to sit alone.

Ultimately this guy was probably minding his own business, maybe he was writing a paper that was due in an hour, maybe he has a service job and wants to be in his own space for a bit on his break, maybe he’s reading a good book but since he’s existing in public as a disabled person this other dude has decided that he’s a signifier of the state of our society. It puts pressure on disabled folks to project this image of happiness where abled folks have the space to seem just bored or neutral in public.

Even if we assume that this person wants to eat with someone else. If someone attempted what this dude is suggesting this wouldn’t solve that problem.

Being consistently approached for friendship on a basis that is not genuine can really mess you up. It makes you question the intentions of anyone who tries to be your friend. It makes you question your own self worth. These relationships don’t last because they power dynamic that they start out with is inherently uneven and the consistent failure of these relationships can impact you deeply.

So abled people, stop giving this as advice, get to know your disabled classmates and coworkers on a genuine basis and treat them as equals.