#apparently writing tooth-rotting fluff on my phone while I’m supposed to be doing other things is my coping mechanism

[hotshotsxyz]

crazy, stupid, reckless

The day Buck brings him home from the hospital, Eddie has a thought. It’s a silly, stupid, completely unactionable thought, but a thought nevertheless. He dismisses it quickly, certain that he’ll forget it in the haze of the heavy painkillers he’s still on.

He doesn’t.

Eddie has the thought again as he watches Buck tidy his living room while he lays uselessly on the sofa. He has it when Buck sits with Chris to help with his schoolwork, and when Buck makes them both dinner for the third time this week. He has it when Buck helps him re-dress his wound, when Buck drives him to physical therapy, and when Buck soothes him after another nightmare. He has it again when he does the same for Buck.

It’s stupid, though, he knows it is.

Eddie has the thought again the first time he’s completely alone after the shooting. He’s still not really supposed to drive, but the dose of painkillers he’s on is getting lower with every doctor’s appointment and he feels fine and he’s got to see. So Eddie drives himself to the mall and tells himself he’s just going to look. He always has been a little impulsive, though.

The next time Eddie has the thought, Buck’s telling him about some wild call he’d been on today. There’s a small twinge of jealously, because Eddie should have been there with him, but mostly he’s just happy to see Buck so lit up and animated. That bright grin of his has been harder to come by these days, and Eddie’s missed it. The thought, Eddie decides, isn’t quite as crazy as he’d initially assessed it to be. It’s just not time for it yet. One day, though... one day he thinks it might be. For now, he sits back, listens to Buck laugh, and does nothing to fight the warm smile that settles on his cheeks.

Later that night, something of a plan occurs to him. Nothing he intends to follow through on any time soon, but an idea for some distant future.

The night before Eddie’s set to finally go back to work, he has the thought again. The urge to speak it aloud has grown stronger every time he thinks it, but not like tonight. Tonight it’s overpowering, because Eddie’s fine but Buck’s still here, washing dishes for Eddie to dry, looking like there’s no where in the world he’d rather be. Eddie stills long enough for Buck to notice.

“You good?” Buck asks, bumping his good shoulder.

“Yeah,” Eddie says, suddenly breathless.

The thought is crazy. Stupid. Reckless. He should have known from the first time he had it he was never going to be able to keep it in.

“I had a plan, you know,” Eddie says conversationally, like his heart isn’t in his throat and his stomach isn’t in knots.

Buck’s brow furrows. “A plan for what?”

The twist of confusion on his lips is adorable, Eddie thinks hysterically. “I was going to ask you on a date, wait until the very end of it to kiss you, drop you at home like a gentleman.”

Buck’s jaw drops, but Eddie knows the look in his eyes. It emboldens him to continue.

“I was going to wait a few months, still not long enough, probably, but I think we both know that this isn’t a temporary kind of thing. I was going to take you somewhere special and I was going to tell you a story.”

“Eddie,” Buck whispers, turning to face him. He’s got to have some idea of what Eddie’s saying by now, but there’s still disbelief written all over his face.

And well, if Eddie’s doing this, he’s going to do it right. He drops to one knee and pulls out the ring that’s been burning a hole in his pocket for weeks.

“I was going to tell you that I bought this ring before I ever asked you on our first date because I was so damn sure that you’re it for me. Because I’ve been in love with you for so long that it’s a part of me, even if it did take getting shot to figure out exactly what I was feeling.”

Buck lets out a shaky laugh at that, but his eyes don’t leave Eddie’s for a second.

“I know this is crazy, and reckless, and probably stupid, but we’ve done everything else backwards, haven’t we? I know exactly how I want to spend the rest of my life, and it’s with you by my side. So, Evan Buckley, will you-“

Buck’s pulling him up and kissing him fiercely before he even has a chance to finish the question.

“-marry me?” Eddie gasps as they break for air.

There are tears in Buck’s eyes and a few stray suds from the dishes on his shirt, but he’s smiling so wide it’s like looking at the sun.

“Yes,” he says simply.

It’s the best thing Eddie’s ever heard.