#apparently when they were writing that episode Rogers had been arguing with some friends about tipping

[mr-chatterboxs-column]

This is such an interesting conversation (and it's really good to see it happening in a bunch of places)! Sorry in advance, white trying-to-be-anti-racist fan with an interest in data analysis here. ... I tried to keep to the main points this brought up for me, but. Well. I do use the handle "Chatterbox."

Since I've been following the sporadic bursts of Leverage fandom since the show ended, and the last "A Fandom" I was peripherally involved with was Captain America (there was just a lot of people rightly getting called out for writing Sam as "handy therapist on call with no other character traits, except maybe being sassy", which did have the positive side effect of a lot of very visible discussion of sensitive presentation of Black men in media), I've been trying to stay aware of this re: Leverage fic and meta. I do generally think Leverage fandom is better than most, probably because the people who stay into a show for years after it ended are people who value the things the show was actively trying to succeed at, and as some of Vicky's prev posts/conversations have brought up, it's clear that (especially for the era it was being produced in) the showrunners were really trying to avoid stereotypes with Hardison (which is part of why it's so hard to imagine a Aldis/Christian role switch, I think -- Hardison is the anti-thug: a tall, built black man who is never compared to a basketball or football player) and fanfic writers, intentionally or not, seem to have mimicked that. It's a relief to see that the data at least partially backs up those largely positive impressions.

(Sidebar, I listen to the commentary tracks a fair amount and I've definitely noticed a trend where Nate and Hardison are the two characters most likely to be directly channeling John Rogers' opinions or character traits. Nate gets a lot of the cynical opinions and negative traits, and Hardison gets a lot of the positive "tech utopia" stuff. Eliot calling him "the smartest guy I know" and that whole hype-up speech in Rundown Job is drawn from an interaction between Rogers and a really close friend, where Rogers was the one needing the reassurance.)

I've read... so, so much OT3 fic, and although hurt/comfort is not a thing I'm really into (I'm very happy to suspend disbelief about the side effects of concussions in the Leverage universe, thanks), I feel like I see very little of that centering on Hardison being hurt, but a lot of it centering on Hardison getting to be nurturing and empathetic. Same in OT3 getting together fics -- the ones that have a lot of Hardison/Parker content are mostly focusing on the ways Hardison is emotionally open and communicative with Parker, and I feel like that's a big part of what people find fantasy-worthy about Hardison that they aren't finding represented in other media. When that's the fandom version of how a character is presented, and it's so strongly backed up by the show avoiding giving Hardison a traumatic backstory and other negative traits, it makes sense to me that, e.g., in fic where Hardison/Eliot is a sexual pairing, Hardison is rarely uncomfortable with being bi and is often talking Eliot through that mental realization, as opposed to other fandoms where that is a more even split (Stucky is a good example, actually, where both characters are canonically white and seem equally likely to be the focus of a "coming out to yourself" fic)-- I've had the impression that white fans are actively avoiding writing Hardison as having internalized homophobia at least partly because that can reflect a racist stereotype. So even though "coming out and getting together" fic is a staple of most fandoms where characters don't come out on screen, if there's internal angst or pining, it's generally going to be about Eliot.

I was going to predict that the highest-ranked character not appearing in the show (...and not from another fandom. Good grief, Dean) was Nana, but I'm not sure that there are many others (besides Eliot's dad?). But when I do see internal-angst fic from Hardison's POV, it's usually about introducing the others to Nana, and usually about coming out as poly, not queer. And she's pretty universally accepting in those fics, which I suspect is both because that's the most common structure of that kind of fluff fic and because most fans write Nana as Black and religious, and, again, there's an aggressive racist stereotype about older, Christian Black women being homophobic, and religious foster parents being homophobic, and addressing that in a serious way without falling into those stereotypes would be very hard to write well, and Leverage fans tend to prefer subverting negative racial stereotypes.

Another factor I'm guessing plays into those data points, seconding the reply this is directly below: man, Leverage fans really love the canonical representation of the Hardison/Parker slow-burn romance. I cannot think of another fandom where an in-canon couple that was not the most popular ship overall was still retained in essentially all fic. (White Collar is probably the closest? But El is usually still a secondary character even in OT3 fic) Most fandoms have a tradition of fix-it fic; most Leverage fans don't have a lot of things they want to fix. I agree with prev poster, probably a minor factor in the popularity of Eliot-POV/focus fic, given that it affects how much "bringing Eliot into an existing relationship" fic there is; having them all get together at once would affect the timing of Parker & Hardison's on-screen romance, and it's so easy for OT3 fic, even set during season 5, to be utterly canon-compliant.

The other thing this conversation makes me consider is generally why Eliot is the fandom favorite (this is also re: the next ask that Vicky was replying to)? It isn't something that had occurred to me that specifically over the past several years, but I would not argue -- I'd maybe suggest that Eliot is a character that some people find very relatable (I am one of those people), and for several specific reasons that are not found in a lot of other characters/fandoms. The obvious ones for me are 1) from a rural area without it being a show that's all about The Great American Heartland, 2) non-traditional expressions of emotion, but a lot of them and they're treated seriously, 3) openly sexually active without long-term romantic relationships, but that's not presented as a flaw. I can think of ONE other character in an arguably canonical poly relationship who can be read as aro (I think there's like 10 fic for that triad). I've seen a ton of great Eliot-centric fic from other Midwestern/Southern queer folks who explicitly say seeing that represented on Leverage is part of what got them into the show. Lots of people talk about the OT3 being important to them because of how it's possible to read Parker and/or Hardison as ace, and I love the variety in how that's presented in fic -- but I'll also always keep coming back to the actual show and my favorite aro!Eliot fic because it's mind-blowing to me to see someone whose emotional journey is all about a type of love I can relate to, and, far from devaluing it in comparison to the on-screen romances, the climax of the show puts that relationship on par with wedding vows. Damn.

Anyway! Headcanons aside, I think those are some of the main factors in how the fic focus distribution ends up shaking out -- Hardison is more likely to be written as a positive fantasy of an ideal boyfriend, while Eliot is more likely to be written as a POV/self-insert (especially due to the subset of fans who stuck with a finished show due to that character), encouraged by fans' wariness about putting trauma into the backstory of a character written as an inversion of racist trauma-porn stereotypes.

i hope ur ok with unprompted asks abt leverage bc today i am like this :-( because someone is posting hate on the OT3 in the OT3 tags. (not as a mistake either, they refused to use the right tags) tbh i am so so excited for the revival but this modern-day-esque toxicity is what i've been worried abt the whole time.

THE POINT OF THIS ASK: they said something that is wiggling in my brain, and i figured you may have a good perspective since i know you like the OT3 and are aware of/comment on fandom/media racism. they said the OT3 is popular because of fandom racism, because hardison is black and fandom wants to focus on the white guy (eliot). i think if this were true then people would just ship parker/eliot like ive seen people do in other fandoms not make an ot3? but wanted an opinion from another person?

Totally cool to send me unprompted asks! Whether Leverage or whatever else. And first off, sorry to see you've been experiencing nastiness in the OT3 tags. I personally never have, but maybe that's down to me not actually knowing what the commonly used tag is? I legit just found blogs to follow who post enough thiefsome content for me, and pick up more here and there, but I dunno where most people post stuff. leverage OT3? parker/hardison/eliot? hardison/parker/eliot? hitter/hacker/thief? something along those lines probably, I've found some stuff tagged under each but have no clue what the 'main' one is. (Also I came up with my own name for them and post my own stuff mostly under that so I really got no clue what most people do, haha.)

Anyway, I digress. On to your main point - well, I will give a disclaimer first. Pretty much the entire time I've been on tumblr I've mostly been in a happy fandom bubble and not even noticed a lot of the nastier discourse. Probably down to the way I pick blogs to follow and then mostly stick to my dash? But anyway, that remains true for Leverage. And in fact until I started my rewatch I was never really involved in the fandom, despite loving the show. I actually haven't read much fic yet either. So there's probably plenty going on I'm not aware of.

That being said, yeah I would agree with you that generally I think if this was racially motivated then people would just ship Parker/Eliot. I don't think people usually default to poly relationships, so I don't really think that is a good argument against one. The only exception I would say is if there's a huge trend of people shipping the three of them together, but only using Hardison as a prop for the other two. You know, if fic focuses mostly on Parker and Eliot and Hardison is just around to be supportive and not given the same level of depth, that kind of thing. However, in the fandom interpretations I have personally seen of the thiefsome, that isn't really the case. It can't hurt to be aware of trends if you do see them, but I don't think you gotta worry too much about this one.

People can be mean. Try not to let it bother you, maybe blacklist if possible (though I guess that ain't if they're intentionally using whatever the main tag is) or build your own happy dash bubble to retreat to. The people I reblog a lot are really nice if you need a starting point! ^_^

Edit - check in the comments for some other perspectives. Seems like there is a tendency to focus on Eliot more, though perhaps not in a straightforward a way as that person was saying? (I dunno what they were saying exactly though so I can't really speak to that.) Doesn't mean we should stop shipping all three but we can be more aware of how we do so, and make sure not to skimp on giving Hardison his fair share of emphasis! (Parker too obviously but you get my point.)

[aion-rsa]

The Horror Movies That May Owe Their Existence To H.P. Lovecraft

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With Lovecraft Country finishing its acclaimed first season, you may be looking to fill that new gap in your viewing schedule with more content based on or inspired by the works of the enigmatic author from Providence, Rhode Island.

Let’s get one thing clear upfront: Howard Phillips Lovecraft was very much a product of his time and upbringing, and his views on race, ethnicity, and class — while commonplace for where and when he lived — were truly noxious, an aspect of his legacy that Lovecraft Country addresses in its own themes. But it’s also clear that Lovecraft was arguably the most influential horror writer of the 20th century, with a reach that extends to this day.

While there have been a number of movies based directly on stories by Lovecraft — including titles like Die, Monster, Die! (1965), The Dunwich Horror (1970), Re-Animator (1985) and its sequels, From Beyond (1986), Dagon (2001), The Whisperer in Darkness (2011), and Color Out of Space (2020) — you may be surprised just how many more readily available major horror films and cult favorites have been influenced by his writing in terms of plotlines, themes, mood and imagery.

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Here is a readout of 20 movies, spanning the last 60 years, in which the pervasive presence of H.P. Lovecraft had an undeniable impact, making many of these efforts into mostly effective and often great horror films. Even the Great Old Ones would approve…

X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes (1963)

Legendary filmmaker Roger Corman had just adapted a Lovecraft story in The Haunted Palace (although the movie was marketed as part of his Edgar Allan Poe cycle), but this sci-fi film also clearly channeled some of the author’s sense of cosmic horror.

Ray Milland plays a scientist who invents a formula that allows him to see through just about everything, eventually peering into the center of the universe itself. What he views there leads him to a shocking decision that fans of Lovecraft’s work would appreciate.

The Shuttered Room (1967)

This British production was based on a short story by August Derleth, Lovecraft’s publisher and a noted author in his own right. Derleth based his story on a fragment left behind by Lovecraft after the latter’s death, with the movie expanding on the tale even further.

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Gig Young and Carol Lynley star as a couple who inherit Lynley’s family mill only to find something horrifying living at the top of the house. Lots of Lovecraftian elements — a cursed house, a family secret, and strange locals — are all here.

Alien (1979)

Lovecraft’s work arguably existed on that knife edge between horror and science fiction — the Great Old Ones of his Cthulhu Mythos were, after all, ancient entities that existed in the darkest corners of the universe.

One of the greatest sci-fi/horror hybrids of all time, Alien, clearly took a cue from Lovecraft’s work: the origins and motivations of its xenomorphs were utterly unknowable to human understanding, and even the look of the alien echoed the gelatinous, glistening flesh of the Old Ones (too bad later movies like Prometheus and Alien: Covenant ruined it by explaining far too much of the alien’s history).

Scorpion

City of the Living Dead (1980)

Italian director Lucio Fulci directed several films inspired by the work of Lovecraft, starting with this gorefest starring Christopher George (Grizzly) and Catriona MacColl. When a priest hangs himself on the grounds of a cemetery in the town of Dunwich (a town created by Lovecraft), it opens a portal to hell that allows the living dead to erupt into our world.

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Fulci’s movie is often nonsensically plotted and more reliant on gore than Lovecraft ever was, but the otherworldly, surreal atmosphere is definitely sourced from the master.

The Beyond (1980)

The second film is Lucio Fulci’s “Gates of Hell” trilogy (the third was The House by the Cemetery) is perhaps the most heavily Lovecraftian, with Fulci regular Catriona MacColl inheriting a hotel in Louisiana that turns out to be — you guessed it — a portal to the world of the dead.

Like the director’s other work, it’s inconsistently acted and directed, but it oozes with a surreal, unsettling atmosphere that almost becomes intentionally disorienting. Hell of an ending too — literally.

The Evil Dead (1981)

Sam Raimi was just 20 when he and friends Rob Tapert and Bruce Campbell set out to make a low-budget horror movie called Book of the Dead, based on Raimi’s interest in Lovecraft. The finished product, The Evil Dead, featured plenty of Lovecraftian touches: a book of arcane evil knowledge, entities from another dimension, reanimated corpses and more.

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It also became one of the greatest cult horror movies of all time, spawning an entire franchise and — even as it veered more into comedy — staying true to its cosmic horror roots.

Universal

The Thing (1982)

Even though it’s squarely set in the science fiction genre, John Carpenter’s brilliant adaptation of the 1938 John W. Campbell Jr. novella Who Goes There? (filmed in 1951 as The Thing from Another World) is unquestionably cosmic horror.

Read more

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The Thing Deleted Scenes Included a Missing Blow-Up Doll

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Although the title creature lands on Earth in a spaceship, its immense age, apparent indestructibility, utterly alien intelligence and formless ability to shapeshift make it one of the most Lovecraftian — and terrifying — monsters to ever slither across the screen. The remote, desolate setting and growing paranoia among the characters add to the terror and awe.

Ghostbusters (1984)

Yes, it’s one of the best combinations of horror and comedy to ever emerge onto the screen. But Ghostbusters’ second half — in which an apartment building designed by an insane architect turns out to be a gateway to a realm of monstrous demons led by “Gozer the Gozerian” — is pure Lovecraft.

The monstrous nature of the menace, the ancient rites and secret cult used to summon it — all of this is still quite cosmically eerie even as it’s played mostly for laughs and thrills.

Prince of Darkness (1987)

The second entry in what came to be known as John Carpenter’s “Apocalypse Trilogy” is perhaps the least influenced by Lovecraft. But it still packs a cosmic wallop with its arcane secrets long buried in an abandoned, decrepit church, its portal to another dimension ruled over by an Anti-God, its mutated, reanimated human monsters and its mind-bending combination of religious legends and scientific speculation (credit as well to British writer Nigel Kneale, an even more massive inspiration here).

In the Mouth of Madness (1995)

Carpenter completed his trilogy (arguably his greatest achievement outside of Halloween) with the most Lovecraftian of the three, in which a private insurance investigator (Sam Neill) looks into the disappearance of a famous horror author and learns that his books may portend the arrival of monstrous creatures from beyond our reality.

Read more

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An Introduction to HP Lovecraft: 5 Essential Stories

By Ethan Lewis

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How Lovecraft Country Uses Topsy and Bopsy to Address Racist Caricatures

By Nicole Hill

Not only are the ideas right out of Lovecraft, but the movie oozes with allusions to the writer’s work and ends up being as disorienting and genuinely disturbing as some of his most famous stories.

Event Horizon (1997)

While we will always argue that the execution of this film was faulty, which stops it from becoming a true cult classic, we won’t debate its central premise: a spacecraft with an experimental engine rips open a hole in the space-time continuum, plunging the ship and its crew into a dimension that appears to be hell itself and endangering the rescue team that arrives to find out what happened.

Read more

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Event Horizon: From Doomed Ship to Cult Gem

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Director Paul W.S. Anderson provides some truly macabre touches to an often incoherent movie, and again the whole invasion-of-evil-from-outside-our-universe concept points right back to old H.P. and his canon.

Hellboy (2004)

Hellboy creator Mike Mignola has often cited Lovecraft as a primary influence on his long-running comics starring the big red demon (Lovecraft’s vision has impacted a slew of other comics over the years as well), and it’s no surprise that Guillermo del Toro’s original movie based on the books touches on that too. The film’s Ogdru Jahad are a take on Lovecraft’s Great Old Ones, while the movie is stuffed with references to occult knowledge, forbidden texts, alternate realities and more.

Del Toro’s own direct Lovecraft adaptation, At the Mountains of Madness, remains abandoned in development hell, but his work here gives us perhaps a taste of how it might have looked.

The Mist (2007)

Stephen King has often cited the influence of Lovecraft on his own vast library of work, and both the novella The Mist and Frank Darabont’s intense film adaptation are perhaps the most overt example.

While the premise is vaguely sci-fi — an accident at a secret government lab opens a portal to another dimension, unleashing a fog containing all kinds of horrifying monsters — the mood and the entities are Lovecraftian to the extreme, as is Darabont’s unforgivingly bleak ending (altered from King’s more ambiguous one).

The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Director/co-writer Drew Goddard and co-writer Joss Whedon take on two of horror’s most criticized subgenres, the slasher film and the torture porn movie, in this sharp satire that ends up being a Lovecraft pastiche as well. The standard set-up of five young, horny friends heading to a remote cabin in advance of being slaughtered turns out to be a ritual performed by trained technicians as a sacrifice to monstrous deities — the Ancient Ones — that reside under the Earth’s crust. The ending — in which the survivors decide that humanity isn’t worth saving after all — would have met the misanthropic Lovecraft’s approval.

Stephen King’s It (2017/2019)

The more metaphysical elements of King’s gigantic 1987 novel (such as the emergence of the godlike Turtle and the journey into the Macroverse) didn’t really make it into either this two-part theatrical version of the novel or the 1990 miniseries.

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But the influence of Lovecraft is still felt in the title menace itself, an unimaginably ancient, shape-shifting entity that can exist in multiple realities and feeds on fear and terror. The way that It slowly corrupts the town of Derry and its inhabitants over the years has precedent as well in Lovecraft tales like “The Dunwich Horror” and “The Shadow Over Innsmouth.”

The Endless (2017)

Indie horror auteurs Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead have touched on certain Lovecraft tropes in all their films, including Resolution and Spring, but The Endless is perhaps the most directly influenced by the author. The writers/directors also star in the movie as two brothers who return to the cult from which they escaped as children, only to find it has become the plaything of an unseen time-bending entity.

Genuinely eerie and more reliant on character and story than special effects, The Endless is a good example of what a modern twist on the Lovecraft mythos might look like.

The Void (2017)

A small group of medical personnel, police officers and patients become trapped in a hospital after hours by an onslaught of hooded cultists and macabre creatures in this virtual compendium of well-loved Lovecraft tropes and imagery. Writer/directors Steven Kostanski and Jeremy Gillespie channel an ’80s horror vibe, with all its pros (and some cons) but the overall atmosphere is surreal and the story taps effectively into the sense of cosmic horror.

Annihilation (2018)

Alex Garland’s (Devs) adaptation of Jeff VanderMeer’s frightening novel Annihilation is brilliant and terrifying in its own right, and both serve as loose rewrites/reinventions of Lovecraft’s classic “The Colour Out of Space.” In this take, four female explorers are tasked with penetrating and solving the spread of an alien entity over a portion of the coastal U.S. that is mutating all the plant and animal life within. The sense of awe and cosmic dread is strong throughout this underseen gem.

The Lighthouse (2019)

The second feature from visionary writer/director Robert Eggers (The Witch) is more a psychological drama than an outright horror film — or is it? The story’s two lonely lighthouse keepers (Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe) may be going insane or may be coming under the influence of an unseen sea entity and the beam of the lighthouse itself.

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With its black and white cinematography, windswept location, half-glimpsed sea creatures and sense of reality crumbling around the edges, The Lighthouse is just a Great Old One away from being a genuine Lovecraftian nightmare.

Underwater (2020)

It’s hard to believe that this Kristen Stewart vehicle came out in early 2020 — given the way the world changed since, it seems like it came out five years ago. Although its story of workers on a deep sea drilling facility battling monsters from the deep was an overly familiar one, the creatures themselves were more unusual than most. Director William Eubank took it a step further by saying that the movie’s climactic giant monster was none other than Cthulhu itself, the Great Old One sleeping under the ocean and namesake of Lovecraft’s entire Cthulhu Mythos — which takes us back to where we began.

The post The Horror Movies That May Owe Their Existence To H.P. Lovecraft appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[deaky-disco-queen]

Who You’re Gonna Call? - Breaky Week Day 7

A/N: My final piece for Breaky Week! It’s for the prompt Someone Dies (None of the Boys dies, don’t worry, it’s really fluffy) and I Kind of barely skimmed the prompt but I really wanted to write this so here it is. Also there is a Tiny reference to some gore and murder and a suicide Happening so if that’s triggering for you please be careful or just don’t read it. It’s really minor but just to make sure.��

Can also be read on AO3. 

+++

“Guess what I bought!”

John sat on Brian’s desk, kicking his legs against his chair, grinning in the way that made his eyes crinkle up and showed off his tooth gap. Brian tried very hard not to be endeared by it but failed.

   “What did you buy?” He asked.

   “A spirit box!”

He showed him some weird device that looked like some kind of radio or walkie-talkie of some kind. Brian blinked several times, trying to make sense out of what John had said and what he was seeing.

   “A what?” He then asked.

   “A spirit box! It’s really cool! You can talk to ghosts by scanning through radio stations and they can use the radio waves to string sentences together. In a way.”

Brian groaned in annoyance and buried his face in his hands. John laughed and boxed him in the shoulder playfully, obviously enjoying his pain. He almost regretted saying yes when John had asked him to join his weird ghost hunting show as a co-host but he knew it was John’s passion project and he was his friend first and foremost and he didn’t want him to fail at his job just because Brian didn’t want to risk being awkward around his crush. Also, he didn’t want to imagine how this would have turned out if head asked Roger to be his co-host.

It didn’t stop him from wondering why he even liked John, though.

Nobody frustrated him quite like John. It wasn’t just the fact that he kept arguing with Brian that ghosts were real- they weren’t- or that they seemed to disagree on many other things that were so trivial it shouldn’t matter. Except when it came to John, they did and most of the time, they could be found squabbling about one thing or another. John was also very fond of playing tricks and little pranks on him. It was never anything mean so Brian never got mad at him. It just didn’t made any sense why Brian fell for him of all people.

   “Deaky…” He said, already feeling a headache coming. “You’re not really believing that, are you?”

John shot him a look that told him he did, in fact, believe it and Brian groaned.

   “Alright, sure, I’ll humor you. How does it work?”

   “I’ll show you at the location today. Finish up whatever you have to do and meet me at your car.”

John grinned and jumped off the desk and patted his shoulder when he passed him and Brian sighed and rubbed his temples before he went back to work.

+++

   “Oh, that looks like a haunted castle right there!”

John laughed and spread his arms out as he grinned widely at Brian. Brian was frowning up at the castle. If he had to pick a location for making a horror movie it would probably this one. It was old, with ivy growing over the walls and the towers, the windows were dark and it loomed over them on top of a hill.

   “I hate it already.” Brian said.

He shot the camera John was holding a quick look before adjusting his gear and double-checking the battery stand on his own gear. It would be a long night and he wasn’t exactly looking forward to it.

   “Do you have your sleeping bag?” He asked John.

John gently kicked a bag on the ground in front of him and Brian nodded happily, crossing that from his mental To-Do-List.

   “I can’t wait to meet some ghosts!”

Brian rolled his eyes on him but followed John towards the castle. It was even more creepy inside than outside. It was dirty- unsurprisingly, nobody lived here and the owners probably wanted to play up the whole ‘haunted’ look- and dark with weird portraits, old armors and typical medieval style decor around. And lots of spider webs.

   “This is-” They both started at the same time.

   “-gross as fuck.” Brian finished, wrinkling his nose.

   “-fantastic!” John said, grinning wildly.

They exchanged a quick glance, before breaking into giggles. They made sure to get some good footage of the unsettling hallways until they came to a big ballroom of some kind.

   “Hello, ghosts!” John yelled, cheering when it echoed through the room.

Brian shook his head at him but filmed it anyway, keeping the camera on his face to capture the childish delight on his face.

   “So tell me why we are here, then.”

John’s face lit up visibly and Brian smiled despite thinking this whole thing was kind of stupid. He was cute when he got excited. And if it meant he had to listen to a ghost story and John’s rambling for a while, then so be it. Brian sat down on the windowsill and waited until John had set up their tripod. Their legs brushed together when he sat down next to him.

   “Alright! Welcome to another episode of Unsolved! Today we are here in the Thrawcliff Castle where some extremely fucked up shit happened and we will try and get some ghosts to tell us more about it!”

He smiled at Brian before he went off about the history of the castle. Apparently, some 500-ish years ago the son of a rich family that owned the castle started hearing voices and developed violent tendencies that ended with him murdering his three siblings and his parents, only to commit suicide afterwards. It was a unsettling and sad story but once John got to the part where he talked about people feeling presences and apparitions, weird happenstances and whatnot, Brian felt the need to roll his eyes.

He let John talk, not feeling like he had anything but skepticism to add and while that was the whole reason he was here in the first place, he didn’t want to dampen John’s fun just yet. Not that he would, John seemed to not give a shit whether Brian was a fan of a location or not, still excited and determined to find a ghost. Or proof of a ghost.

   “This is going to be fun!”

   “Well, at least you can see the stars very well tonight.” Brian added, a smile tugging on his lips.

   “Stars and ghosts, we’re in for an amazing night!”

   “No ghosts, just stars, Deaky.”

John grinned at him, knocking their shoulders together, not even bothered by his lacking enthusiasm. He was probably used to it already, they have been doing this for a while now, after all.

   “Why not both? They are not mutually exclusive.”

   “Ghosts don’t exists, stars do.”

   “How do you know?”

Brian groaned loudly.

+++

They decided to test John’s spirit box thing on top of the tallest tower.

It was a horrible loud, piercing noise and Brian physically flinched back when he heard it for the first time and it didn’t get better with time. Brian hated it. He didn’t think he could hate it any more than being in a unsettling place in the dark and sleeping there but he was proven wrong. John loved to do that and he managed it again.

   “It switches through radio channels so ghosts can string words together to talk to us.” John explained to him.

Brian only barely resisted the urge to cover his ears.

   “Let’s go and ask the ghosts some questions, why don’t we?”

It was stupid. John was just talking to static with no answers- the unintelligible stuff- didn’t count because it wasn’t words- but he was ecstatic about the whole thing and kept asking questions. Brian had no idea how he did not get frustrated by getting nothing concrete in return over and over again.

   “Isn’t that amazing?” John asked.

   “Amazingly annoying.”

John rolled his eyes at him.

   “Come on, let’s do solo investigations!”

+++

The thing was, Brian didn’t believe in ghosts. He was a man of science and ghosts just didn’t seem like a plausible thing to him. Aliens, sure, space was just too big for them to be the only intelligent life form out there but ghosts? He couldn’t believe in it no matter how many different theories John proposed to him. None of the evidence convinced him enough to believe in it.

But Brian was still very afraid. Not because of ghosts, because that was stupid, but because there were so many other things to be afraid of. Ghosts may not scare him but potential injuries while being far away from medical help, getting an infection from the filthy surroundings and meeting some random serial killer sure did. The last one wasn’t really as likely as the others but he was still afraid of somebody lurking in the shadows of wherever they were, just waiting to get a chance to rob him or whatever. People were way scarier than ghosts.

So he hated the solo investigations because it was scary to be alone in a dark hallway in a creepy castle.

   “God, fuck, okay. This is still stupid but here we go: Hello, ghosts.”

He walked down the hallway, his flashlight shaking slightly.

Their fans found it hilarious that the skeptic of all people tended to get the most scared. Brian liked to think it was because he had common sense. John would happily invite a demon to possess him if it let him prove their existence. And Brian could respect that dedication. He just wished it wasn’t ghosts and demons and all of these kinds of things John was so obsessed with. It would save him so much trouble.

   “Damn you, John.”

He slowly made his way down the stairs into the dungeon- because of course all the gory things happened in the dungeon and many gory and downright disgusting things had happened here if John had been telling the truth- and he started to question his life choices again.

   “If there is anyone in here with me, please speak up.”

Of course there was only silence and Brian sighed.

   “Please don’t make me use the stupid box. Just talk to me so we can call it a day.”

There was still no answer and Brian sighed again, louder this time, and set down the spirit box and turned it on, flinching at the ugly sound it made. He tried to get some ghosts to talk to him but- unsurprisingly- got no response and left the dungeon as soon as John called him to tell him his ten minutes were up.

   “How was it? You scared? Met a ghost? Or a serial killer? Maybe a weirdo in a trenchcoat?”

   “Stop making fun of it and get us a ghost, I want to leave.”

John laughed and made his way downstairs while Brian set up their sleeping bags in the ballroom. He could hear John yelling at the ghosts- air-, demanding them to show themselves and talk to him. He was mercilessly taunting him and Brian could never understand how John could believe in them and yet be so incredible fearless. He read all these stories about them doing terrible things and causing violence and stuff and yet he didn’t seem to be scared at all. Or his way of dealing with being scared was cursing ghosts out.

After a while, it grew quiet and Brian knew John had finished his private investigation and waited for him to come back.

   “Find anything?” Brian asked.

   “Oh, I got some really interesting answers! I’ll show you later. Are you ready to go to sleep?”

+++

Brian could never sleep at locations and today wasn’t an exception. It was cold and uncomfortable and he was still afraid someone with bad intentions was going to show up. He just lay in the dark, turned away from John to see the door to the room which probably didn’t help his paranoia much.

   “Can’t sleep?” John asked quietly.

   “You know I can’t.”

He could hear John shift behind him and then he was kicked in the back until he turned around to face him. John’s face was barely visible in the darkness but he could make out his silhouette faintly.

   “Nothing is going to happen to us. No bad people will come for us. No one but us and the ghosts here. And since you don’t believe in those, you’re good.”

   “I know that.” Brian whispered. “It’s called an irrational fear for a reason.”

John chuckled softly and Brian hit him blindly in the chest, grinning satisfied when he let out a low groan.

   “Don’t worry. I’ll protect you from any ghosts and serial killers. I promise.”

It didn’t really calm Brian in any way but it was a nice sentiment. He didn’t have to tell John that- he knew that- and so he didn’t and just let the silence between them drag on.

   “Oh for fucks sake, c’mere.”

   “What?”

Before getting an answer, John unzipped his sleeping bag and reached for him, pulling Brian close. John was way stronger than he looked.

   “Let’s zip us together.”

Brian tried to argue but it was a weak attempt and he held the flashlight so John could make their two sleeping bags in on big one. Then, he forced him to lie down facing away from the door, his head resting on John’s arm and their legs tangled together. His nose was almost touching his shoulder and Brian felt himself blush.

This wasn’t what normal friends did, was it? Though, normal friends wouldn’t go ghost hunting together either so was he really in any position to judge? John might not be the most touchy-feely guy but they had been friends for years now and he didn’t mind Roger or Freddie being all over him.

   “Are you comfortable?”

Brian nodded despite it being a bit of a lie. He didn’t know where he was supposed to put his hands so they were just awkwardly laying between them. John didn’t seem to have this kind of problem, easily wrapping his arm around Brian’s waist.

   “Good, then sleep. I’ll fight any evil people trying to get to us.”

   “You’re ridiculous.” Brian said.

   “No, just in love with you.”

Brian’s breath got caught in his chest. John’s bravery floored him over and over again. Of course he had no issues just confessing his love like this, as if it was nothing, as if he had nothing to fear, nothing to lose. Sometimes he wished he had even half of this bravery. But even now, he could not say anything even though he really wanted to.

   “It’s okay, Bri, you can confess your crush tomorrow. Maybe over brunch?”

   “Brunch sounds nice.” Brian choked out.

John hummed satisfied and pressed a short kiss into Brian’s hair.

   “Great, looking forward to it.”

[thesoftdumbass]

The Joys of Laser Tattoo Removal

Pietro Maximoff X Reader oneshot

Words: 1370

Summary: Pietro Maximoff has a tattoo that he got when he was drunk, and he wants it gone. What happens when he comes to you for help?

Characters: Reader, Pietro Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers

Warnings: Lasers, secondhand embarrassment, not much else.

Author's Note: Hi there! This is my first attempt at a writing challenge, set forth by the lovely @sgtbxckybxrnes and I had fun! I have to tell you, I know nothing about laser tattoo removal other that what I found from quick searches on Google. This was inspired by an episode of How I Met Your Mother. This is in Pietro's POV, sort of. You'll see what I mean. I hope you like it! My prompt was This. Never. Happened.

(Gif credit to owner)

"I can't believe this is happening," groaned out Pietro in his accented voice. He was staring at his reflection in the mirror, trying to clearly see his marked skin. His friends were all laughing loudly from the living room, which was not at all helping his hangover. Pietro walked out of the bathroom to face the room of laughing idiots.

Pietro woke up this morning, and disregarding his pounding head and dry mouth, he felt good. After his break-up, Piet was finally feeling like the world was back in order. At least until he spotted the road-runner tattoo'd on his left bicep. His parents would be so disappointed.

As Pietro walked into the room, his roommate and best friend Sam made a comment.

"So why a road-runner, Wile E. Coyote?" This earned more laughs.

"Shut up, Sam."

"What? I'm just really curious."

"I ran track in college, and apparently drunk me thought it would be funny to play a prank on sober me. I really don't want this stupid tattoo." Pietro all but murmured the last part.

Pietro's sister Wanda who had been oddly silent this whole time spoke up.

"Why don't you have it taken off? My dermatology office does a laser treatment to remove tattoos."

"That's a good idea, Wanda! I'll do that," Pietro exclaimed.

"Good. When you do, make an appointment with Doctor (Y/L/N). They are the best in the business," Wanda insisted.

Pietro was on his way to the appointment he set up for laser tattoo removal. As he walked onto the elevator in the doctor's building, Piet noticed a woman in the back of the lift. She seemed intelligent, she was beautiful and Pietro decided to try to flirt with her.

"Hello. Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven," he asked with a smirk.

"No, but I scraped my knee crawling out of hell."

At that, the elevator doors opened and you walked onto the same floor that Pietro needed to be on. Piet felt a slight embarrassment at your rebuttal to his pick-up line, but shrugged it off a moment later. It's not like he would ever see you again, right?

Walking in through the right doors into the Doctor's waiting area, Pietro made his way to the reception desk at the back of the large room. His sister Wanda was there, signing people in for their appointments. After saying hello and signing in, Pietro sat in a chair in the waiting room, scrolling through some work emails.

Wanda, who is your physician's assistant, called Pietro back to an examination room. There was a figure in a lab coat standing there, she turned around when Wanda greeted her. Pietro felt chagrin as he noticed that it was the woman from the elevator.

"Hi," he sheepishly muttered.

"Piet. This is (Y/N) (Y/L/N), your doctor. (Y/N), this is my brother Pietro Maximoff. He's having a tattoo removed," Wanda introduced, handing you his chart and not reacting to her twin's odd behaviour.

"Hello, Pietro. I'm glad I can help take that off of your arm," you spoke nonchalantly, not bringing up the elevator incident.

"Nice to meet you, Doctor (Y/L/N)."

"Please, call me (Y/N). And it's nice to meet you too.

Wanda excused herself to get back to work, leaving you in the examination room with her brother.

"Listen, I'm really sorry about before. I hope I did not offend you, I just think you're really beautiful, and you have this sense about you. I don't know what it is," Pietro voiced.

"You're forgiven, and I wasn't offended. It was a noble try, but I have to wonder. Do men really think those lines actually work on women?" you joked.

"I actually don't know, but I hear my roommate Sam using them all the time. I really cannot remember any of them working, ever," Pietro chuckled.

"Good. They're awful," you laughed out. "Well should we get started?'

"Of course, (Y/N)." Pietro rolled up his left sleeve and showed you the colorful tattoo. "I really thought drunk tattoos was something that only happens on TV."

"Oh no, I make my living off of drunk tattoos. There doesn't seem to be any scar tissue, which is good. It should be fairly easy to remove in ten sessions with me. Actually, we can start today," you tell Pietro as you examine his arm.

"That's great!" Pietro cried out. "I want this thing off of me as soon as possible."

"Okay, let me get the equipment set up and we'll be ready."

You prepare your tools and after a few minutes, you are able to begin.

"I have to warn you Pietro, laser tattoo removal can be an extremely painful process," you caution your patient.

"Pain? Ha, my middle name is pain tolerance," Pietro tries to assure you.

"Okay, don't forget I tried to tell you," you said and started the laser up.

Pietro felt a sudden burning in his arm, and he yelled out. You covered your ears at the high pitched screeching, trying to prevent your ear drums from bursting. You turned off the machinery when suddenly Wanda burst through the door, looking bewildered.

The screaming had long since stopped, but your ears were still ringing. Wanda looked around before speaking.

"Are you alright, (Y/N)? I heard screaming coming from back here," she asked

"Everything is fine, Wanda. Your brother just felt the joys of a laser on his skin," you assured her.

"But it sounded like someone was being murdered!" Wanda argued. Pietro then moaned from pain. "Piet, are you okay?"

"Yes, Wan. Everything's cool. It just hurts," Pietro replies.

"I'm sorry Pietro, but that was just on the first setting. That's probably the least it will hurt, until you learn to tolerate it," you tell Piet.

"It's fine, we can continue now. I need this off of my skin."

"If you're sure, Pietro."

"Do you want me to stay? I could get somebody else to cover the front," Wanda questioned her brother.

"No I am okay. Go do your job, you slacker," Pietro joked, trying to reassure his twin.

Wanda went back to work, and so did you. Though you could tell Pietro was still in pain, there were no more vocal reminders. When you finally turned off the laser again, you gave Pietro some care instructions to prevent any adverse reactions. After you walked back into the main room of your clinic, he brought you to the side, along with his sister.

"Listen, you two. I know you are both professionals and there are rules for these things. But, I also know that my friends can be nosy. So I want to make one thing clear. This. Never. Happened." You snickered and Pietro added on, "I'm serious."

"Of course I won't tell anybody about your appointment, other than for necessary medical reasons." Wanda nodded along to your statement. "Of course... you still have nine sessions left."

Pietro groaned, causing you to laugh again. He recovered enough to schedule another appointment with you before heading back to his apartment.

When he got home, Sam was waiting with Steve and Natasha on the couch. Natasha smirked and asked, "How was the doctor?"

"It was good I guess. I started the treatment."

"Oh really? I heard that hurts," Steve states.

"It sucked," Pietro declares. "But, there's an upside. I really like the doctor, (Y/N)."

"First names, huh? Sounds like someone's got the hots for Doctor Sexy!" Sam declares.

"Shut up, Wilson. She's just nice, and beautiful, and funny." When Pietro saw the expression his best friend gave him, he forced the dreamy smile from his face. "Don't say anything, Sam. I heard it."

"All I'm gonna say, man, is that you better not embarrass yourself in front of her," Sam said.

When Pietro wore a guilty expression, his friends immediately crowded around him. Nat wanted to help, Sam wanted juicy details for future blackmail, and Steve wanted a good laugh.

So, Pietro told them the story of his first treatment session with Doctor (Y/L/N). After cackling for a solid five minutes, they devised a plan for Piet to ask out the beautiful doctor. Let's just say that after your treatment sessions, you were happy to accept a date from Pietro.

[michelemoore]

Takhuk

October 29, 2019

Michele Moore Veldhoen

Are we Living in a 21st Century Version of Wonderland?

Our recent election triggered in my mind thoughts of Lewis Carroll’s nonsensical Wonderland. Did you ever read Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland? Not until I was an adult reading them aloud to my kids did I experience my first (and, now that I think of it, only) reading of nonsense literature. The book was a surprise. I had been under the misconception that Alice’s adventures would annoy me. I was too serious of a reader then to consider nonsense worthwhile.  As I discovered, Carroll was not just writing to entertain children. He was also using nonsense to satirize British Victorian society’s strict and prudish rules of etiquette, which, apparently, were in glaring contradiction to the way the English had behaved for centuries before that era unfolded. Here’s what Wikipedia says about Victorian morality:

“Between 1780 and 1850 the English ceased to be one of the most aggressive, brutal, rowdy, outspoken, riotous, cruel and bloodthirsty nations in the world and became one of the most inhibited, polite, orderly, tender-minded, prudish and hypocritical. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victorian_morality

I suppose Carroll, as a writer, was quite drunk with the fodder offered by a society that evolved in just a few decades from being outspoken and rowdy to prudish and polite. Since he lived throughout the era, he likely watched in horror as men had to be more and more circumspect in their manners around women, whose crinolines grew wider by the month. As for children, well, they were best seen but not heard.

If Carroll was alive today, he might suffer writer’s block. There’s just too much fodder for words.

We see it all these days, aggressive, cruel, bloodthirsty right alongside tender-minded and orderly.

While Carroll’s Wonderland skewers politicians, royalty and adults in general, it is first, a book of entertaining nonsense for children.

But I do feel Carroll was also contemplating some sobering ideas. This may be why his book came to mind this past week.

A quick refresher - Alice is an adventurous girl who flings caution aside and follows a rabbit down a rabbit hole to indulge her curiosity. She wanders through Wonderland, meeting a fantastical array of talking creatures, rabbits, cats, lizards, birds, mice, ducks and dogs, with whom she has absurd or nonsensical and therefore frustrating conversations. But Alice is not afraid to argue with these adult sounding creatures, a fact which no doubt gave young Victorian readers great satisfaction. She was also not afraid to simply blow off the worst of these characters and carry on with her adventures through Wonderland.

Carroll was making a hero of Alice but was he also saying to his readers not everything in this world makes sense, adults least of all, and trying to make it so is futile.

Nor is Alice afraid when she meets sinister characters such as the Queen of Hearts who orders Alice’s beheading on every other page. During the trial of the Knave of Hearts, Alice stands up to the Queen’s insanity, defending the Knave fearlessly. She survives the episode, head intact.

Was Carroll telling children to speak truth to power? Was he saying: Queens and those with authority are mad and dangerous, you must speak up?

Like many of us in Canada, I have been thinking lately about the world’s current state of political turmoil. The wacky disorientating world Alice experienced seems a good analogy. The general sense of total, utter, nonsense that imbues Carroll’s 19th century Wonderland is a fair comparison to today’s incomprehensible state of affairs. Hookah smoking, mushroom munching caterpillars and all.

Like that stoned caterpillar Alice could not understand, today’s politicians of every stripe around the world talk nonsense, evade questions and generally talk in circles. Worse, some, even here at home, break the law, neglect to mention the facts, spread lies, scorn the poor, scorn entire populations, scorn scientists and journalists, scorn anyone that does not agree with them. The contortions and rages some of them get themselves into is a sight to behold and makes me sometimes want to send them relief in the form of a good long dunk in a cold mountain lake.

Of course, in the records of organized human society, there is nothing new about any of this behavior. Power corrupts us and has been corrupting us from the first opportunity. What is new for us, or at least me, is the breakdown of so many governments that were built over decades and in some cases centuries to guard against such corruption. We have had the luck now and again to enjoy the rise of truly good leaders – many at the community level, some at the highest levels, who recognized the danger of concentrated power and created institutions and organizations to limit it in the hands of government.  Because history has proven over and over that corrupted leaders produce in society intolerance, extremism, violence, and war.

These days, attempts are being made by many corrupted politicians and others to dismantle or discredit the institutional structures upon which much of the peace and prosperity of the world has been built. These are the ones I would dunk in a nice frigid Rocky Mountain alpine lake.

In Alice’s Adventures, there is no plot. No purpose. No goal or endgame. There is only a series of increasingly bizarre interactions and conversations that culminate in Alice’s final exchange with the Queen of Hearts who, when she shouts “off with her (Alice’s) head”, causes Alice to lose her temper and take a swipe at the Queen. Suddenly, the Queen and all her court are just a pack of cards, which moments later become leaves Alice’s sister brushes away from her face in order to wake her from her dream.

Are we all dreaming today’s Wonderland? When will we wake up? What is our endgame, our purpose, our goal? Is it not what we have all believed throughout our lives, to create and live in peace and mutual prosperity?

Is it true that

not everything in this world makes sense and trying to make it so is futile.

Oh yes, there is definitely futility in trying to explain everything we do. But do we not hear around the world too many excuses for intolerance and greed masquerading as necessary action or inaction? Does it make sense, for example, to fuel war on a continent (Africa, for example, where war materials are sold by almost every country you can think of including Canada), only to then have the millions who run from the devastation come to the gates of those same countries in need of refuge?  

Do we agree that

often, adults are mad, and we must stand up in the face of their madness to defend the innocent.

Yes, adults with unbridled power and money do indeed go mad. For many of us, just a little too much can do us in. I learned that in 1984 in Reno, Nevada. I have not gone near a slot machine since!

Real madness though, leads to serious nonsense, to the seriously absurd. It leads to those fleeing war and violence being branded criminals instead of victims. It leads us over cliffs. Down rabbit holes.

Despite the disorienting and disturbing nature of today’s politics, I do believe that sensible heads will prevail here in Canada and elsewhere.  The extreme absurdity that this world wide epic struggle for power is producing will, one day, be remembered, not as a dream like Alice’s, more likely a nightmare. But even nightmares come to an end. We do know how to climb out of rabbit holes.

Let’s go out from this weighty blog with something light, shall we?

First, from Will Rogers:

"Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke."

Next, from Tom Blair:

Politicians are like diapers. They both need to be changed often. And for the same reason.

And, from John Lennon:

If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliché that must have been left behind in the Sixties, that’s his problem. Love and peace are eternal.

So, friends, Love. Peace. Have a beautiful day in Wonderland.