#apparently it's very sexy??

[izzystizzys]

There is a scratch mark on the floor of the Council chambers that Mace has never noticed before. Not a deep one, mind, quite shallow. This matters because it’s making the white-hot pulse of agony stabbing through his eyeballs ebb momentarily. Then, he chances a glance upwards at the fidgeting Knight in front of them, and it returns in full force.

Huh, he’s never seen Oppo Rancisis’ face turn that colour before.

“Hmm”, Master Yoda hums, deep and scratchy. His expression is unreadable even to Mace beyond a baseline gremlinness, and the force with which he grips the edges of his seat is making his bones creak. Master of the Order you should become, they said. Follow the calling of the Force, you should. A fulfilling purpose, it will be. Mace is going to hunt the little goblin for sport when this is all over, and he’s going to laugh the whole time.

“Show us the livestream again, could you, Knight Parvo?” Yoda asks. Mace bursts a capillary, he’s pretty sure, and so does poor Knight Parvo, whose orange Mon Cala skin tips all the way into blood red with stress. “Most unusual, this is.”

“Absolutely not!”, Ki Adi intervenes before Mace has to, thank the Force for little mercies. Plo Koon’s tusks tremble slightly with either suppressed laughter or abject horror, maybe both, and Stass Allie has her head in her hands. “The holo stills should be enough”, Ki Adi proceeds to add, and Mace has to reconsider all feelings of grace he just felt towards his fellow Councillor.

He never wants to watch Yoda zoom in on someone’s abs again. Or Depa raise her eyebrows at the curve of thighs bent over the dripping front of a speeder.

“Speeder Wash For Our Troops”, his former padawan reads out loud from a still of what has to be hundreds of the things gathered in the public senate parking lot. “Fund Our Boys And Get A Wet Seeing-To!” The series of images features dozens of Coruscant Guard troopers in various stages of unkitted, gleaming and shining with soap suds and water. The fact that the whole thing is also massive shatterpoint after massive shatterpoint is, quite frankly, insulting.

“Well hello- oh dear”, Obi-Wan’s blue form crackles to life in his chair, followed by several sounds of choking that are definitely not him. Good, Mace thinks acidly. If he has to deal with this, then so does kriffing Skywalker. “I’m sorry, why am I looking at Commander Thorn using a washrag like a lasso on top of a speeder?”

“Oh, the Guard’s little fundraising project”, Bail Organa says, as he steps into the Council chambers. Normally, Mace likes the man well enough. Now, he just smiles and adds on, “I’ve already donated, in mine and Breha’s name. Remotely, of course.”

“The Guard’s fundraising speeder wash?”, Obi-Wan repeats, edges of his holo form flickering with what Mace suspects is Skywalker very unsubtly trying to edge in. Force, but the man really is horrible at any and all stealth, like kissing his secret wife in an open arena in front of his Master. “And they are fundraising for…?”

“GAR budget allocations have to come from somewhere”, Organa shrugs. “And with the tide of public opinion turning, they’ve been tending towards cuts. The Guard feels them more keenly than any other sector - they’ve been reduced from half to quarter rations, and medical supplies have not made more than a token appearance in the last draft. The Chancellor has cancelled three consecutive meetings on the matter, and thus it was agreed that a more hands-on approach was needed. Any surplus will go into the Army fund.”

“Surely it can’t be that dire”, Oppo protests, a slightly less concerning shade of purple now. Senator Organa shrugs again, jostling the smattering of cracks slowly building around his person in a way that makes Mace wince quietly. “It’s all publicly available data, Masters.”

It really can be that dire, as it turns out. And quarter rations is only scratching the surface of how dire, considering the Guard has apparently never had access to bacta in all their posting, and also includes requisitioning forms available to the Senate for reconditionings and decommissionings, two words Mace has only heard Ponds whispers amidst shuddering in the early days of the war before Shaak Ti went off and just about tore some throats out over it.

“Alright”, he concedes, rubbing at his temples. “Fair enough, we have failed to tackle a massive blind spot in the Guard’s well being. There is no Jedi assigned to Coruscant, and that’s an oversight on our behalf. But how in the everloving kriff did this get past the Chancellor and Commander Fox?!”

Who have both signed, black on white. Bail Organa smiles cryptically. “Well, if you scroll a bit past that one image, up to the industrial speeder in the back - Commander Fox is currently having credits stuffed into his codpiece in the back, I believe.”

“HE’S WHAT IN THE WHAT NOW”, Commander Cody screeches through the speaker of Obi-Wan’s holo image, and Mace has to summon every bit of Jedi-serenity he possesses in his body to keep from dropkicking a cackling Yoda through the chamber windows.

[patheticbabygirls]

Could Leander have any ulterior motives to sleep around with everyone? I can't tell if he's super clever or just a hoe. Maybe both. Probably both

1. He can search for exploitable vulnerabilities in his partners, find anything that hints at their past (such as scars), understand their personality and reactions better, etc

2. Would Leander be the type to take something from his partner while they are not paying attention? Like pickpocketing and stuff? In the worst-case scenario, he could grab something for his dark magic endeavors (strands of hair idk)

3. Some people would trust Leander way more after sleeping with him. He could also take advantage of that

I don't know what Leander could get from this, but we don't know much about him yet so...

Also, is there any chance MC's curse doesn't affect him because he's already corrupted to the core? And if he's a red flag, why are his eyes so green? 😍 (I'm ignoring everything I just said)

[romance-rambles]

modern clarence | an appropriate staring distance

While at the beach, you take a moment to appreciate your handsome boyfriend while he's taking a nap—and also when he's not.

1.2k, fluff + established relationship, reader is mc, series: none

NAVY BLUE STICKS OUT TO you the moment you open your eyes.

Your aching shoulder protests your decision to stay as you are, on your side, facing a still sleeping Clarence. Like this, he looks much younger—you're reminded of the time you had to force him to take a nap. Like this, he's simply the cute guy you managed to score not one but multiple dates with, just Clarence, instead of the incredibly smart and wonderful and kind Student Council President.

You glance at the circular table set between your two beach chairs, taking note of his glasses resting primly upon its surface. With him often having to juggle two different kinds of glasses, you'd offered to put them in your bag so that he could pack lighter. Or, as light as he can.

Right now, it's awkwardly squished behind you, miraculously still on the chair only because it's too big to fall out the gap under the armrest.

Filling in the blanks comes as easily to you as the smile on your face when you get to see your boyfriend, nearly the same one on your face right now—and the expression that goes with it is so endlessly fond that you find yourself with the urge to hit something.

Simply put, your boyfriend is a handsome man—the most handsome one, of all the men your keen eyes have gazed upon. And gazed, they certainly have. But even if they didn't have to pick, then they would gaze at only Clarence for the rest of their life..

You almost giggle at the thought, but think against it at the last minute.

But pressing your lips firmly into a thin line has the opposite effect on your budding smile. You imagine you look rather strange to anyone who passes by—what with your mockery of a wide smile and the silent scream building up in your throat, paired with the quiet thumping of your feet against the legrest.

If you were in a more private space, you would resort to kicking instead.

A proper squish to your still warm cheeks as you begin to sit up helps ease up the passion swirling chaotically across your body. You exhale, then allow your hands to slide off your face. One side of it bears the consequences of your actions more than the other.

With a one last longing at the sleeping Clarence, you start to dig through your bag for the only thing in your arsenal that could substitute for a sketchbook.

There are a few miscellaneous promotion emails waiting for you on the lockscreen. A message from Cael asking about dinner tomorrow too. Somewhere between them, there's a notice about the weather, with the temperature from an almost hour ago listed uselessly.

You swipe past them all and hurriedly slip into the camera app.

The hand holding your phone steadies itself against the armrest as you swing your legs over the edge of your chair. A thumb hovers over the capture button, vigilantly awaiting your command. The fingers of your other hand, meanwhile, busy themselves with zooming in on the captivating scenery.

With each pinch, the focus grows ever narrow—until all that remains is Clarence and nothing else.

At one point, you try to zoom into the mole under his eye, but it doesn't make for a very compelling photo. After a few attempts, quite a few of which involve staring at your screen for prolonged periods of time, you reluctantly give up.

Your pout is soon covered up by your phone. When its front camera presses against your upper lip, your gaze is free to wander back to the sleeping beauty beside you once more.

A healing effect, exclusive to him, takes hold of you instantaneously.

Eyes brimming with fondness narrow slightly. You slide off your beach chair, hands on your bent knees as you take a closer look. You can make out the shadows cast by his long lashes and the drool dribbling past his chin.

He's perfect.

You're content to stay there until your knees begin to ache, reminding you insistently that this isn't a very comfortable position to be in. As a compromise of some kind, you adjust your arms atop the nearby armrest.

It really would be better if you'd brought your sketchbook along—but, you think, remembering his workaholic tendencies, would he even bother to take a nap then?

You scrunch your nose up at the thought.

In that moment, Clarence seems sense to your presence. When you look back at him, you're greeted with the sight of confusion in his now opened, but still drowsy gaze. He blinks, and it earns him an amused grin from you.

"Morning," you say, though it's well into afternoon.

That seems to wake him up. His cheeks flush a warm pink, and he hurriedly wipes away the drool on his face, as though you haven't already committed the sight to your memory.

Clearing his throat, he responds in kind, careful to sit up in such a way that he avoids looking at you.

"You don't have to be so close...I can see you just fine."

You laugh, not unkindly. "What if I'm the one who's having trouble?"

For a moment, when he turns back to look at you, he looks alarmed. Then, his shoulders relax to the tune of a sigh, his groggy mind apparently having caught onto the fact that you were joking.

Without breaking eye contact, you reach for his glasses. But as with the issue of walking into a cave without a flashlight, even if you vaguely recall where your destination is, there's no guarantee you'll actually reach it.

"Give me a second," you mutter, your annoyance making your tone a bit too sharp.

You follow your words up with an apology. His glasses held are carefully by the frames as your sheepish gaze connects with his faintly amused one. Clarence reaches out, getting as far as grasping the slanted tips of the frame before the two of you reach a mutual agreement.

"Well." His cheeks return to being a rosy hue. He coughs politely. "If you would."

Cute. Biting your lip giddily, you shake his grip off. A quick once-over of your surroundings before you stand up shows that no one seems to be paying attention to you. And unless your friends and acquaintences have come to together to unlock the secrets of invisibility, no one you know seems to be present either.

Leaning over, you line his glasses up against his face, the tips of his frame brushing against his cheek. It takes only a moment to slot them into place—and you have enough experience with doing so that they don't snag against his ears.

It takes only a moment longer to give him an innocent peck on the lips.

"There," you murmur, not entirely satisfied with the kiss.

His Adam's apple bobs. Clarence adjusts his glasses with an awkward look that suggests he has some kind of solution to your dilemma. You, of course, beat him to the punch.

"Why—" Your voice cracks a little. "—don't we go find a different spot?"

He smiles, narrowed eyes watching you fondly. "I was about to suggest the same thing."

[jessieren]

A very happy sunny half naked Wednesday to you…

Public service announcement: I may be posting this photo A LOT in the lead up to UIKY as:

1. It’s hot.. those shoulders that hair.. just 💀

2. We’re running low on HNW material

3. Once we’ve seen the show it may feel less hot for obvious reasons

4. Fuck he looks hot

5. Did I mention how hot this is

[batnbreakfast]

[the-lonelybarricade]

I just had to stop by and say how much I love ur subtle taylor swift titles/ mentions!!! it’s like combining my two favorite things and its genuinely so great 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

Awww thank you anon!! 🥰

This reminds me how I had one of my non-fandom friends staying with me the other week and when she saw my acotar books she squealed and told me how she'd recently gotten into them and we spents hours talking about the sjmverse. And then she saw my eras tour souvenirs and we ended up wine drunk, screaming along to the the whole concert on Disney+

Anyway when she left Mr. LB turned to me and asked "Are all girls the same person?"

[omg-snakes]

no worries about the king snakes. that's a beautiful hognose, i FULLY appreciate the efforts you went through for that picture

He's a little weirdo with a lot of odd quirks, but he's worth it.

[igneouswyvern]

FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS FSNGSANGDSCNGSDGHHFCBNJDDCBJKKCZDCVBBHHDDBKKFFVJ

[softdreamlesssleep]

God, "I missed you" sex is the best

[starbuck]

personal taste is so weird… the fact that i LOVE symbolism, but a story has to strike the right balance of symbolism to character meat for it to actually Get Me. i LIKE on-the-nose metaphors and silly, overwritten dialogue and find it charming, but ONLY if the story Gets Me, otherwise it’s unnecessarily patronizing. my subjective opinions are a mystery even to myself.

[airbenderedacted]

What was the beta s2 villain design? I haven’t heard or seen abt that one n im curious

,,,,Bombshell my bbygirl,.

[salmonandfox]

I am feeling -aggressively ace- At the moment because my tiktok feed has decided I need, at totally random intervals, this one set of farm hands who keep trying to do sexy-hip-thrust videos and hula hoops and stuff while shirtless and just...

...All I could think of was what it looks like when a cat is gearing up to puke.

Which was definitely not what they were TRYING to accomplish.

They do get props for doing some with a guy who's way more dad bod though and clearly everyone was having fun but...

Yeah.

[justaboot]

tw disordered eating /

i personally hc that della REALLY struggles with food after the moon (and also that she had an ed when she was a teen/young adult). ur the della expert what do u think

I’ve definitely written about that, mostly in some more in-depth in works I don’t really plan on publishing. I do think she’d have a complicated relationship afterwards, and without getting to far into it, it’s hard to get back into eating, especially anything more than “turn the hunger button off” meals after a long time going without. You can’t not eat and then slam back a meal, and I think she’d let an invisible problem get out of hand rather than acknowledge long-term moon after effects that would get her grounded from traveling or put under a spotlight.

Very often, when people write about ed’s, the default is a character not eating, because western society has twisted that to be sympathetic and desirable, and while I do think she’d struggle with routine, I hc any issue would come from either scarcity or physical complications, which would have a more nuanced result.

I do think it’s interesting in the show she’s seen as resource guarding (I guess is the best way to put it) what with carrying around the gum after months, and I do think there would have been more about it in a more mature show.

[yeetlegay]

So cool story, somebody T-boned me last Friday on my way home so I’ve spent the last three nights in the hospital and I couldn’t even hold fiancée’s hand properly bc one wrist is in a cast and the other one has had needles in it the whole time. Hope that homophobic driver knows his days are NUMBERED

[ctl-yuejie]

fascinated that ForceBook had pretty nice chemistry in episode 1 but by now I really don't feel TopMew - not only because they are the two characters I understand the least - but ForceBook actively try not to have chemistry

very solid acting in my opinion but leaves me watching the trainwreck of SandRay through my fingers as my heart hurts, giddy about BostonNick as the heat starts to burn them, while feeling like I am poking some curious looking sludge with a stick to see if something happens when TopMew are on the screen

[rosecoloredtease]

i'll be your valentine's if you'll... 💘