#apologies for the quality on this one it's 1am right now for me

[project-sekai-facts]

Your recent update made me wonder about something. I don’t know how much you know about this but wanted to try asking anyway. Hopefully this makes sense? Why would the English translation choose to censor things? I assume translations are being done in America where queer things are slowly becoming more accepted but is that a factor? Are the translators themselves changing certain things due to their own biases? I don’t know who they are and don’t want to assume anything about them, but I can’t help wondering if that’s part of the reason? Or is it because of something like, for example, sometimes movies or TV shows have certain content removed based on where it’s being aired, so is it something like that? Is the game being released in regions where queer content is banned or removed? Now that I wrote it, I feel like this is the most likely answer but what do you think? I basically just rambled in your ask my bad. Also, do you know if the Korean and/or Taiwan servers have censorship too?

oh there's more than just the Asahi thing and i have mentioned it in passing before but i'll cover it properly here. "the miles i fell in love with is so cool" -> "it was so cool! i guess that's miles for you" is definitely the biggest example though.

First off, a minor thing. it doesn't really happen anymore but in the earlier translations they quite often use words other than partner, like "pals" and "buds", in the VBS story. Probably one of the best examples of this would be An and Kohane's 3rd kizuna title, which the JP name was often fan-translated as "Making each other better" or "Raising each other up", and is called "Two supportive pals" on EN. Which does have the same meaning but the "pals" seems so unneccesary when they could've used partners. The original text is Takameau futari, the first part means "to raise" or "to lift" and futari means "two people" or "a pair/couple". So it technically is a good enough translation but using pals when partners would be more accurate to canon just seems.. off.

I’m assuming their avoidance of the word partner is because it could easily be misinterpreted as romantic, but they seem to have moved on from that at this point.

There's also THE POWER OF UNITY where they switch out "love" (daisuki) for "cares about a lot" when KAITO is comparing the relationship between Arata and Souma to Akito and Toya. Daisuki literally means "likes a lot" so often you'll see people translate it as love, though likes a lot is still valid. "Cares about" is not a direct translation but definitely can still convey the same meaning, so again instance of valid localisation it just seems like an odd choice when using love would've conveyed the exact same meaning and been more true to the original.

Then you've got another instance of them not translating daisuki correctly in Dear Me, As I Was Back Then (sorry this one is a wiki screenshot my phone died). This is worse. Like I guess if you really want then it does have a close enough meaning to the original. Like I guess daisuki meaning "like a lot" or "love" could be localised as "you're the best" if you really wanted it too. But even then, the line before this is "I'm gonna show just how much I admire her!". Minori's shout of "I LOVE YOUUU" from the original would be way more fitting here. "You're the best" feels too casual and buddy-buddy - even if Minori didn't know Haruka at this point, Haruka still had a big impact on her life and imo "I love you" would be the best to use here.

There’s also this one from Walk on and on that removes one key thing. In the original, Toya says something more along the lines of “I was able to make this track because I want to continue to be a partner who can stand shoulder-to-shoulder with you from now on and always”. This is a bit more similar to the Asahi incident in that they’ve restructured the sentence to make it two, adding in the thing about performing which isn’t even there originally, and replacing “korekara saki mo zutto” with “keep singing with you”. And “keep singing with you” still works, but it’s much more toned down, let’s say. You know what really is odd about this translation though? If the quote I put seems familiar, it’s because it’s also the name of Toya’s event card. Kinda odd they omitted that from the story then, huh? The thing is the translation of the card is very accurate so removing it from the story starts to seem intentional, especially when everything around it is accurately translated like with the Asahi incident. Also doing this removes the fact that the card name references the story so what the hell are you doing EN? It's the same sentence, if you can translate it correctly on the card you can translate it correctly in the story.

There's definitely more than this, this is just what came to mind first and I don't want to make this post too long.

These were certainly... choices. Especially with the ones that avoid translating daisuki as love because they do translate as that on other occasions, most frequently with An and Kohane. I'm assuming the reason they omitted it with the guys is because it's far harder to pass off guys saying that they love each other as platonic because societal expectations or whatever, but I'm actually surprised by the change to Dear Me because normally they're pretty good with Minori and Haruka usually. Like they've translated daisuki correctly for them before and leave in everything else that indicates Minori has a crush on Haruka, so why not this line?

I'm tempted to say that they just change the things that they think are too hard to safely pass off as platonic, but then again they left all of the unsubtle ship teasing in Buddy Funny Spend Time, which has a lot of focus on Minori and Haruka's relationship (and they even added in Haruka saying that Minori makes her heart tickle in her card story), so I'm genuinely not sure why they left that in but then changed one instance of Minori saying she loves Haruka which doesn't even have to be interpreted romantically. Like what is the limit here? An can say she's going on a date (with Kohane) and the WEG regulars can ask who she's been seeing, but Asahi can say he fell in love with Tsukasa's character and it gets removed. Both of them have romantic connotation. The only thing I can think of is that An's comes from a whole card story and event, but Asahi's is one line that's easy to remove. Same with Toya saying he wants to stay with Akito forever.

In other words, it's a mess and I don't think any of what I just wrote is coherent either.

Interpret all of this however you will at the end of the day it’s all just ship tease which is up to interpretation anyway. Except the Asahi thing. That one is a censor.

Oh and the KR and TW servers don’t do this.

[savoies]

i don't know you yet - anthony beauvillier.

summary: soulmates. they exist right? y/n and tito live their daily lives doing activities thinking if the right person will ever come.

word count: 2k.

warnings: maybe a few bad words. hopefully angst. 

a/n: i think this might be my first "angst" so please let me know what you think. i am so proud of this work and honestly probably one of my bests. loosely inspired by idk yet by alexander 23. thank you so much to @puckbuddies for all the help, love ya!

taglist + tagging a few folks: @quintnsbyfield @vincecdunn @bigboigritty @ana-maa @puckshitbitch @alxvlasic @stfukie @laurenairay @damn-dunner-29 @kaitieskidmore1 @thelionkingpw @aria253264 @hartsyhart @boesxr @mitch-slap @frostythegoalman @teenagekook @barzysthighs

tagging some lovely folks: @laurenairay @konecny-s @bestestbenn @vinceduhn @folkloreflyers .

(*credit to gif owner.*)

Many people imagine their dream person or think of the person they want to date or marry from a young age. Y/N remembered going to sleepovers and her friends talking about how they wanted a boyfriend with blue eyes and blonde hair or brown hair and brown eyes. But when Y/N's turn came around she always said the same thing "I don't care what they look like as long as they are the right person for me." And that's when the game would end. Because twelve year olds could not fathom that everyone had their person and at some point they'd meet and everything would work out. Her mindset was set as growing up her mom would always tell her the same story. When I met your dad I just knew she'd say.

Tito had dated his fair share of girls. Blonde, brown haired, a red head, and a spontaneous colored haired girl here and there. But none caught his attention. Not that they weren't pretty or anything but Tito was not really one to date and dump. He liked forming connections and really getting to know them. But being a hockey player was not really quite helpful. They'd be invited to a party here and there and of course Mat begged Tito to go with him because he needed a wingman and Tito could not really say no to his best friend.

~~~~

Y/N had believed she had met her special person her second year into college. A tall lanky boy with brown hair. They had both met in the library when they reached for the same book. Might seem cheesy but she took it as a hint. After "considently" bumping into eachother in the library many more times he had asked her out. Most of their dates were pretty basic just like her. Maybe that's why she enjoyed them so much. Two years. Two years is how long she dated him for. But sadly people fall out of love. She had heard about that happening only in movies. Never really thinking that it could happen to her. But then she heard some of the worst words anyone could ever hear. "I don't love you anymore." 

Her heart was sad. Her first real relationship. Who she believed was the one. But she understood. This wasn't her fairytale. But she was broken. Her still being in love. Thoughts invading her mind. What did she do wrong? What could she have done better? So after that it took her time to open up again, to bring those walls down to handsome looking strangers. She wasn't one just to date for fun. So she rarely did bring them down. Sometimes she'd sit in her dark room late at night letting her thoughts consume her. How maybe she'd never find the one, how she was unlovable, how she had way too high of expectations to believe there was someone for everyone. 

~~~~~

Every Monday morning Y/N would go to the same coffee shop and get the same order, a medium coffee with sugar and cream. To her it was a nice way to start the week. She had been doing it since she moved to Brooklyn in 2016. 

Tito had been begging Mat to go with him to this coffee shop in Brooklyn that apparently had great coffee. Tito was what you could call a food and drinks connoisseur. Having cooked many times for his teammates and best friend.

" Come on Mat, Grace and Anders said it the best they've had and they've lived here much longer than us. Plus you owe me for getting you that girls number last week, don't forget to call her." Tito wasn't one to get acquainted with Mat's hookups but he did feel bad when the next morning Mat was kicking them out before sunrise.

Mat finally agreed and here they were on a Monday morning way too early for Mat's liking for a straight black coffee that was "rich in flavor" according to Tito. It was quite busy for it being Monday but they patiently waited in line.

Y/N gathered her stuff and exited the crowded coffee shop, careful not to bump into anyone and headed her way to work.

After waiting for about fifteen minutes they ordered two medium coffees and headed out to the busy New York streets.

She had walked about ten minutes away from the coffee shop before she realized that she forgot her phone. Y/N checked her watch and noticed that if she was gonna make it on time she had only five minutes to retrieve her phone. So she quickly but carefully dogged through people as she made her way back to the coffee shop.

Tito and Mat were casually walking back to the car having parked it a few blocks down when they saw someone running their way. Tito wasn't paying much attention due to savoring his cup of coffee which to him was totally worth the twenty minute drive and six dollars.

"Dude she's hot." Mat turned around and checked out the girl that somewhat seemed like she was running away from something instead of for something. 

"Mat that's gross. You literally didn't even see her face and are labelling her hot just by seeing her ass, I understand why you need a wingman now."

"Hey!" Mat slapped his best friend's shoulder as Tito drank his coffee trying to stifle a laugh (which he failed) since Mathew knew it was true.

~~~

Y/N had heard it many times from her friends, family, and probably even a few strangers. It was time to get a date. She wasn't desperate to really get anywhere. She was a 22 year old living in one of the most populated states in the country. She has time right? Deep down she knew that if she didn't get out there her person would probably not come by themselves. Which brings her to present day staring at her  phone screen at 1am. Earlier in the day Y/N's friend texted her that she knew someone who deemed specific qualities the young romantic wanted. 

~~~

Y/N met Grace in the coffee shop. She had come in a little bit later due to having the day off and sleeping in. Grace and Ruby sat in one of the corners of the small spaced coffee shop and Y/N sat next to them trying to stay in her own space but finding it quite difficult when there was a cute baby trying to get her attention a few feet away. After Grace apologizing for invading her space and Y/N saying it was really no problem they continued to meet in the coffee shop every once in a while. And a friendship blossomed later having exchanged numbers.

Grace was great. She listened to Y/N's tall tales of soulmates and love and she even told her about how she found her love (which she referred to as anders, y/n never having met him before) and how they had a beautiful baby girl together. She knew Y/N wanted someone who was sweet and kind and liked forming deeper connections so when she had an encounter with Tito she knew she should text her.

~~~

It was a late Friday night and the boys were celebrating a win in a rowdy club somewhere in downtown Brooklyn. The single guys trying to get the attention of some girls by buying them drinks. Grace had been standing at the bar with some of the other girls when she saw that Tito sat alone at the booth that occupied their stuff.

"Seems like our stuff doesn't really need a bodyguard, why aren't you out there buying a girl a drink or dancing?" She spoke somewhat loudly due to the pounding music and shouting of people.

"Not really my thing." He smiled softly back at his captain's wife. Tito was not fond of clubs or bars. He felt as though it was way too loud to actually have a proper conversation with someone. That's when it clicked. Of all the times the team had gone out not once had Tito really smiled or joked around with a girl. Grace connected the dots and decided to text Y/N in the morning.

~~~

A simple message was displayed across Y/N's screen. Simply reading "hey i know dates aren't your thing but i know someone who i think you might like."

After sleeping on it for quite a few more hours than she needed to, she decided to bite the bullet and text Grace back. "Why the hell not." 

Not even two minutes later Y/N's phone dinged indicating a response. "Perfect, I'll let him know."

There she sat on her bed over thinking if this was really a good idea.

~~

Tito was way over his head. Grace had texted him that she knew of a girl who was quite exactly Tito's type. At least she loosely stated it that way. He had agreed only on the condition that Mat was having a girl over later tonight and he wanted to be as far away from that as possible since they did have pretty thin walls. So exactly five hours later here he stood outside the infamous coffee shop which held the secret ingredient to the best coffee he had. Grace didn't tell him much other than her hair color which was quite difficult to find in New York since every once in a while a sea of same colored haired girls would come by. He waited outside deeming it more on the gentlemenier side. Whatever that meant. Ten minutes later wrapping his coat on tighter and checking his watch for what seemed to be the five time. Maybe she stood him up. I mean he didn't have too many redeeming qualities. I mean hell he lived in New York and didn't like clubs, parties, and sometimes hated big crowds which were what seemed to be a big part of where he lived. Rocking on the back of his heels he decided to wait a bit longer thinking that hopefully she was just running late.

~~~ 

Indeed she had been running quite late. Her cousin had pleaded her to take care of her baby because she had some errands to run. She didn't mind at all since she did in fact love babies. But when four thirty rolled around and still no sign of her cousin she began to worry. She didn't have this mystery dudes number (which Grace referred to him as Anthony) so she couldn't really text him that she was gonna be a bit late. She really hoped he would wait because all throughout the day her excitement grew more and more. Finally five rolled around and Y/N quickly handed off the baby and changed into something more date worthy rushing out the door in the cold breeze of the afternoon. She rushed to the coffee shop and as she arrived she could see a tall stranger looking down at the ground presumably freezing since it was pretty cold. She dodged a few people hoping that this was indeed her date.

"Hi uhm are you Anthony." She spoke up and she stood awkwardly pulling the sleeves of her sweaters. "Gosh please be Anthony or im just gonna look like an idiot." She whispered.

Tito turned around at a soft voice and was faced with one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen. Her baby hairs were sticking out and her nose and cheeks were red from the cold, she seemed to be somewhat out of breath.

Y/N looked up and caught sight of some of the most memorizing eyes she had ever seen. This handsome stranger who she presumed  as Anthony had amazing features.

Tito cleared his throat and reached out his hand. "Hi uhm yeah im Anthony but you can call me Tito, or at least that's what my friends call me." He began to ramble.

"Nice to meet you im y/n." They shook hands and a soft electric shock was felt between the two. They both glanced up and she knew it was too soon to tell since she had just met him but she felt an extra special connection with him.

[sumeshi-t]

random 1AM horny thots: the boi's reaction when seeing fem!s/o get a food baby after eating too much lol

characters: oikawa and ushijima (for now; might add a few more later on 😙✌🏻)

aksjdjajh pls enjoy my midnight brain vomit. i know this ain't too good and idk if it's been done before or not but oh well, here it goes 🥵

im shy but ackck im gon tag u @seijoh 🥺 i hope u feel better and sleep well tonite

Oikawa Tooru:

you surprised your bf by going to argentina so you could celebrate his birthday together

you asked help from some of his teammates he's told you about, and they were in on the surprise.

the moment you entered the gym where they trained, he hits a powerful serve, fueled by his excitement after just seeing a glimpse of you from the corner of his eyes. he got a service ace from that, even you were sure it was over 110km/h

then this boy just runs up to you, trapping you in his embrace, your feet off the ground and spinning you around

then comes the cake his teammates got him, someone on the side was actually recording all this. he was already peppering your face with kisses and you two just looked so damn happy even the coach was smiling wtf

so anyway, you guys go out that night and eat

oikawa tells you what food he likes, and what he thinks you were gonna like and he's so spot on like he knows you so well he even brings out the 100% out of your tastebuds—

lol

you were so full from all the food, so full from the love, attention, and affection your boyfriend was showering you that you felt "drunk"

trust me that shit happens. y'know, like food coma? yeah, you ate a lot and it feels like you actually got high on sum dr*gzz

it was time to call it a night, you gave the team some japanese souvenirs as a way of thanking them, not just about tooru's bday, but also because they're taking care of your man really well 🥺

oikawa brings you back to his apartment, apologizes for not having cleaned up and you say you didn't mind because really, it wasn't that dirty or like the jungle-type madness but even then, he goes straight up to at least making the place neat for the two of you so he cleans some of his mess

there was a full body mirror on the far wall, it reflects his bed and him moving about behind you. you were checking yourself out and you ended up chuckling

you put a hand on your low back and another to rub your belly. you were wearing such a body-hugging outfit so the food baby was hella obvious

"look tooru, i'm pregante," you laugh at your own joke and continue to rub your belly

oikawa lichrally stops. and just stares. at your smiling face then down to where your hands were placed.

this boy gulps. why was he feeling so thirsty all of a sudden-?

when you didn't hear him respond, you turn to look at him and he was already making his way toward you.

he wraps his arms around you, hands on your belly. there was no music but you two were swaying to the sound of each other's heartbeats.

without a word, his lips went straight for your neck, nipping and sucking; his hot breath tickling your sensitive skin, hands busy touching you everywhere.

you see him smirk while whispering, "seeing you like that babe, it just makes me want to knock you up so bad,"

next thing you know you were both naked on the bed, facing the mirror

you were on your knees, watching yourselves as your boyfriend took you from behind, your back arched against his chest while his hand gripped on your neck and the other firm against your hickey-filled abdomen; cum was already leaking out of your abused hole you actually lost count how many times the two of you came—

this was a fulfilling kind of feeling full.

and sure enough, you were bringing home with you a different kind of surprise when you went back to japan.

Ushijima Wakatoshi:

it was The Grandma Ushijima's 80th birthday

yeah that lady who wanted to correct your boyfriend's left handedness. she's still alive n kicking

yours and ushijima's schedules were freed up for a few days to help out in the celebration and of course, you stay in the Ushijima ancestral home

yes, ancestral home. tatami mats and all. but high quality ones with silk covers and stuff.

his family didn't mind having you two sleep in the same room; bc ngl they've been wanting a great grandchild.

the sooner the better

like fuck marriage, they want to see results first.

in the three days you spent there, you notice how yours and wakatoshi's tea is different, like is that some kinda ginseng floating around there-? type of different

or how they dug up all of his cute baby pics aww, look at his cute bare bottom

i also hc wakatoshi used to thumbsucc the left thumb it b cute and adorable, you were gushing until whoever was talking to you say that they can't wait to see him have a son or a daughter

anyway, the party soon came along

wakatoshi loved it when he saw you playing with the cousins' children, and how much you just fit in with the family

if he could, he'd have gotten on his knee there to propose, though he didn't have a ring... also, he didn't want to steal the spotlight from his grandma

sometimes he wonders if you were actually a long lost relative

bc also goddamn, your cooking is *chef's kiss* top notch, michelin chef, gordon ramsay approved

and what better way to reward yourself for a job well done is to self-appreciate the craft you yourself created

needless to say, your big appetite got yourself a big food baby after dinner

thus it was now bedtime, children were now asleep, other relatives already back in their own homes

this was the last night you two were staying over

you were lying on your side, face to face with wakatoshi; you were the one mostly doing the talking, jumping from family matters to his volleyball career

then your hand idly rested on your belly, rubbing it, and then you laugh, recalling the encounter you had with some of the Ushijima elders and aunts

"toshi, they really want me to get pregnant so bad. do you think they'll stop pestering me if i show myself like this?" you pat your food baby belly and snicker

his eyes wander towards your belly and he just froze in his spot

the sight of and the prospect of you carrying his child in that body of yours just flipped a switch inside of him. he reaches for your face, eyes now locked with yours. you melt under his big, warm hand, unaware of the brewing storm of emotions your boyfriend was having

"y/n"

"hmm?"

"i think the aunts are right,"

"what...?"

"i... want you to have my child, but... do you?"

which basically translates into "i want to fuck your brains out, may i?"

consent is sexy mhhm

he's so gentle, so careful with his movements, he treats your body like a sacred temple, his every kiss a wordless declaration of worship;

this baby bear was honestly just afraid of breaking you because he knows after that night, wakatoshi jr. will be next who's going to stir up your insides to make space for its growth

you really had to beg him, "more, harder!"

you really had to taunt him, "how are you gonna make me pregnant if you don't go deeper–oh,"

wakatoshi let go of the last string of self-control he had, that your face was pushed against the tatami mat, ass in the air, your hips slapping against each other

you oh-so-tried not to make much noise, but you knew how much wakatoshi loved that

you were sure that anyone who happened to pass by that room was gonna be so embarrassed yet so elated at the huge possibility of having another member to The Ushijima clan

[x0401x]

Just a dumb thought and I apologize beforehand if this ask might seem weird, I don’t know if anyone has asked you about this before but in the “IF” chapter of VE, it was made clear that Vi is destined to fall for Gil no matter who her master is, so would that make Gilvi less problematic than in the cannon timeline? Because Gil wasn’t the one who raised her in that timeline, but Dietpig was (tbh I was quite impressed seeing our psycho being a responsible human being with the wild beast he picked up). Would that leave only the age gap issue being the main problem with the Gilvi ship? I dunno, what do you think? Also, it seems like you’re trying to become a workaholic by translating not one but TWO chapters of EA for Valentine’s Day. I mean I love it but I think it’s best to take your time and get some quality “me-time” for yourself, and get some coffee, too while you’re at it. Work can wait. Have an amazing day! Now go get some rest and coffee!

It’s not weird at all, haha.

This is probably going to seem contradictory coming from someone who doesn’t ship GilVi, but I don’t think it’s a problematic ship. At least not in canon. They had problems, which are now solved, but that and being problematic are two different things.

I also don’t think the age gap is an issue, per se. Gil’s love is the most asexual thing ever and he only made a move on her when she was an adult. Not to mention that there was no child grooming involved and he never oversteps any boundaries. Plus, Gil is a very patient and comprehensive guy, so even though they’re in different stages of their lives, they’re always on the same wavelength.

I’ve always been a workaholic. :P But thanks for worrying about me! I’m okay, really.

You have an amazing day too! I wouldn’t drink coffee right now since it’s almost 1AM here, but thank you again! ;v;

[skaashis]

hunger. 

➤ you are miya osamu

wc: 2.7k 

warnings: food, op is hungry, miya osamu centric, manga & anime spoilers

note: I'm 1-2 days late to the funeral/party but pls accept this really short miya osamu character study (kind of. barely. There was hardly any studying as i’ve allowed the spirit of writing take hold of my hands for a solid two hours.) as my elegy/offering to haikyuu season 4’s finale and the 40 tabs of poetry & fics that crashed on me earlier this evening. 

You are Miya Osamu, seven years old, and eating in the new ramen restaurant that just opened up for dinner. The place was apparently highly-anticipated as it’s apparently the first Hyogo Branch for an infamous ramen chain that's apparently rated with two Michelin stars. The interior is traditional and neat. The walls, floor, and furniture are of finished wood in varying shades. The staff look old, the chefs look older. You, Atsumu, Pa, and Ma are seated with menus and gurgling stomachs, and walk out with takeout. Hands chained together, you all walk towards the parking lot and Ma lets out a squeal of satisfaction saying, “that was real good wasn't it, Atsumu, Osamu?” 

Atsumu being the dimwit brat he is, nods viciously as if his eyes aren't already drooping as a sign of an incoming food coma. He proceeds to say he’s reaaaaaaaal full! And how he really liked how soft the noodles were and how rich the broth was and how soft the noodles were. Ma hums in a smile then looks down to face you, asking you for your own opinion. You only shrug and say, “I’m full. Just not satisfied” 

Ma looks at you, mortified. Pa guffaws his lungs out and manages to wheeze out how you better be thankful that you’re out of the restaurant's vicinity for you might have gotten your first lawsuit at seven! You don't completely understand what he means but knows it's something bad. In the car ride back home, you stare out the window and wonder why. 

.

.

.

You are Miya Osamu and think that Aran Ojiro is hella cool. He’s got a hella cool name, hella cool physique, and hella cool lunch he brings to school one day. They’re pancakes. Not really the ideal lunch meal, but hella cool either way because they’re nop ordinary pancakes. They’re corn pancakes, except, as Tsumu (his new name that you both proclaimed post-meeting Aran-kun) says after taking a bite, there’s no corn in it. It just tastes like corn. You pull out your own plastic chopsticks from your bento to take a taste as Aran explains. He says there’s something his mom puts that called ‘cornmeal’. Before you could take a piece, Aran halts you and shuffles for something in his lunchbag, only to pull out a mini tupperware of freshly chopped green onions. With glimmering eyes, he recommends that you try it out with the green onions garnished above before you take a bite. You nod, take his advice, and your mouth explodes with colors. It’s beyond sweet or savory or spicy or umami. Pancakes have always been either flat or fluffy alone, never so interesting and flavorful until now. 

Ma picks you and Tsumu up later that day and you ask her to buy some cornmeal and extra green onions the next time she goes to the market to buy groceries. 

.

.

.

You are Miya Osamu and it's New Year’s. You’re also yelling at Tsumu too keep it up, who in return, is also yelling at you to keep it up. Ojiisan is chortling in endearment, Obaasan is cackling her lungs out. When the Mochi is finally done, you and Tsumu exchange glares with your arms folded in a huff. Tsumu mutters how you, Samu, is so stupid and dumb and slow, when you know for a fact that HE’s the one who’s stupid and dumb and slow. Obaasan, being the ever observant granny she is, hitches a brow teasingly and asks if her precious grandsons have changed their precious names into something else. You and (a)Tsumu splutter up a string of apologies and excuses, only for her to cackle once again, this time simultaneously hitting you both on the back as she does so. Ojiisan is the one to tell your Obaasan to calm down now as he distributes the mochi. 

Obaasan smiles with the softening of her eyes after taking a bite of the mochi and says it's good. Both your and (a)Tsumu’s hearts swell in pride. She then smiles with her dentures flashed in a wide, cheshire grin, adding how it could’ve used a little more oomph! She says it’s good because food is always good when you’re happy. And you’re happy when you make decisions for yourselves. And when you’re making decisions for yourself, you’re supposed to make a decision that you think will make you happy. You and Tsumu nod while reaching out for your own mochi and she’s right, it’s too soft. 

But you think, huh. It does taste a lot better. 

.

.

.

You are Miya Osamu and firmly believe your brother is a curse. Or perhaps it’s the other way around. You’re the curse. Ma never told you who’s older or younger, and probably (likely.) (definitely.) for the best. Though, you’re also one half of the newly infamous Miya Twins™ (synonymous with: chaos incarnate) who have recently shaken the ground of the volleyball world. The other half of the Miya Twins™ is Atsumu, who puked in the bus before the first game in your first nationals that no one, everyone, would have expected you’d win. Of course, you only reach the semi-finals, but that alone is a feat in itself. Still, on the bus ride back to Hyogo, while your eyes aren’t swelling with tears anymore, they’re mapped with veins and your heart’s the one doing the swelling, but with distraught and a promise to give it your all until the very end as one half of the Miya Twins™. 

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You are Miya Osamu and the team that stands before you across the net is Karasuno. Whom no one, everyone, would have expected would come this far. They’re an amalgamation of rookies, geniuses, and straight up monsters. They’re an odd bunch but so is your team. You’re both standing in the court, in Tokyo, match being ingrained into the minds of every person watching whether live or through National Television that'll either last forever for them to talk to their grandkids about or just fleet away the next day. Either way, the memory of such alone is proof that they’ve come this far. So are the jerseys being drenched in sweat, bruises blooming on their forearms, and the muscles being more and more conditioned as each three centimeters of a second passes by. 

“Hey ‘samu? I’m startin’ to feel hungry.”

“Me too, ‘tsumu.”

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You are Miya Osamu, scarfing down on the third best gyudon you’ve had in your life. It’s served in the Tokyo branch of a well known gyudon chain and only the third best ‘cuz Ma’s is and will always be the best, and yours will be the second best because you’re seventeen and self-proclaimed one hell of a home cook. It’s third best probably because of the garnish or the beef’s quality or how well-cooked the rice is. Or the fact that you’re eating it right after a loss. Food is always better when it's used as comfort or a coping mechanism. If it’s decent and you’re feeling like shit, your brain always registers it as the best thing in the world for at least the next few days. But you’re smarter than Gin who’s ordering his third bowl because it's the best gyudon he’s ever had in his life. But also, food is always better when you’re happy, when you make a decision for yourself that you deem would make you happy. You’re not happy, but you’ve decided that you’re gonna be the junior Kita-san’s forever gonna brag about. 

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You are Miya Osamu and practice the next day is grueling. Even fiercer and vicious than the already fierce and vicious practices your body had been accustomed to pre-nationals. Not completely by coach’s order, rather by the hunger born as an aftermath from yesterday's events. It’s also a water break. The mere three minutes your body is given to repair its own muscles before another set of serves. Riseki mentions how yesterday, Kita went on another one of his strange speeches in the midst of the match. He reiterates how Kita believed everyone on court were monsters and all, that's really the bare minimum Riseki’s pea brain, in comparison to Kita-san’s argentinosaurus of a brain, was able to absorb. You nod and hum in acknowledgement, after all, you thought the same too at one point of the match. But now- 

Your gaze shifts over to ‘tsumu who’s across the gym and trying to create a heimlich by punching his chest. God knows what he’s choked himself up on again this time. 

-your face twists into nonchalance. Even from the other side of the gym, you feel tsumu giving you the stink eye as Aran’s obligatorily assisting him. It's probably the twin senses. The guy’s no monster. Even if he was, monsters are supposed to be terrifying. Like the ones scaring you from under your bed. Or crawling up from a well and out of the TV screen. Or dipping fingers along with a french fry into a ramekin of ketchup in a team outing, like what Tsumu doe— Ah. 

(Later that night, he does it again. He’s no monster, just a stupid fuckin idiot.) 

(A disgrace to humanity.)

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You are Miya Osamu, it’s the week after the last Spring High National Tournament, 1AM, and you should be asleep. Instead, you’re googling: what the fuck do retired athletes do when they’re retired. Your back isn’t aching and you dont smell funny yet, but you’re a teenager and tired and your brain whirrs in the strangest of times. The search results are blurry as like does a black hole, sleep succumbs and swallows you into itself. 

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You are Miya Osamu, holding your brother in a headlock. The catalyst to the impromptu wrestling match in the gym was you admitting to Atsumu that you’re no longer playing volleyball after highschool. Some delusional part of yourself hoped for some kind of peaceful talk. Y’know, with puffy gowns and smiles and chamomile tea. But Tsumu’s childish and you’re apparently a FUCKIN’ [REDACTED] [REDACTED] HORSE-CRAP-LOOKIN’ [REDACTED] BITCHASS [REDACTED] [REDACTED] SHITTY SCRUB. As per usual, you throw each other, yells (Communication between the Miya Twins™ was either inarticulate yelling or twin telepathy alone and nothing in between.), and punches around. There’s no real winner or loser in your quarrels as either Ma’, the coach, or Kita-san is always quick to end it. This time, when Tsumu yells at you that when you’re in your deathbeds, he’s gonna say that lived a happier life, you grin fierce, proud, in pain, and attempt to keep tears from streaming down your eyes. There’s no winner or loser to this fight as it doesn’t, and will never end until you’re on your deathbeds trying to deem who lived a happier life. 

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You are Miya Osamu, sweating profoundly, and the touch of the ball your brother set to you barely quarter a second ago is faint. The Twin Quick Attack, Minus Tempo. He gives you a look that says “are ya still thinkin’ about quittin’?” You slam the ball down along with returning a look that says “fuck yeah.” The ball creates a deafening echo as it ricochets off the ground. 2014 Spring High National Tournament: Inarizaki High School vs Karasuno High School (2:1)

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You are Miya Osamu, swearing you’re about to go blind because of the continuous flashes of cameras being sent your way in your graduation. Ma’ and Pa’ are in tears, so are a few of your classmates and teammates and juniors. Some people say that they wished highschool would never end but that’s a load of bullshit. Highschool sucked. Calculus sucked. Everyone many Some people sucked. ‘Tsumu definitely sucked. Playing volleyball— didn’t suck. It never sucked. 

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You are Miya Osamu and adult-ing sucks. Taxes, landlords, income— Never have been fond of economics and likely never will. They said that when you become an adult, you’re finally gonna be thrusted into the world of freedom and happiness. Freedom is for everyone, children and adults alike. Happiness on the other hand, is temporary and reserved for times like a good lunch, and only permanent for people swimming in bills and coins and gucci. You? You’re just some guy making equilateral riceballs for a living. The food industry is always a gamble. To make a name for yourself, you’ve gotta keep thriving. To keep thriving you require consistency in improvement. That means more branches, more flavors, and more investment while making sure the quality never drops. It's difficult and mentally taxing. It also makes the whirring of the ceiling fan seem louder than it should be, making you feel smaller, more alone, than you should feel. You take another piece of manchego and narrow your eyes into the list of potential new flavors you could sell. A high-pitched DING! from your phone causes you to lose the staring contest you’ve had with the sheet of paper in front of you. 

From: Kita-san 

I’ve prepared the rice for pickup. See you tomorrow, Osamu.

 You grin at the notification and text him a quick thanks. You stand up and flip the paper around in order to get read for bed. Something tells you you’ll figure it out somehow and soon. 

(you do. Spicy pickled cucumber onigiri is fresh and a well selling item in Onigiri Miya the moment its introduced.)

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You are Miya Osamu and firmly believe your brother is a menace, but also a nuisance. Yet here he is, likely (definitely) unaware of the splatter of soy sauce his cheek is smushed upon that you weren’t able to clean up from the former customer as he’s too immersed in his own personal venting. He’s whining on and on about how he can’t seem to perfect this new special serve he’s been working on for a while now. You’re familiar with this co called “special” serve he’s trying to pull off as it’s been the only thing he’s been texting you daily about. Because you’ve heard of it a hundred-or-so times and you were also supposed to close up ages ago, until he came waltzing in with that stupid pout and blonde hair of his. He’s a menace and nuisance but also your brother, so you offer him your own two cents and fresh onigiri. The night goes on with you both talking about Kita-san and life and the time Bokkun got his hand stuck in the pipe system back over in the MSBY dormitories. As you close up the shop and part ways, Tsumu yells at you saying he hasn’t figured out the serve yet, you yell back at him that he’ll figure it out somehow. 

(he does. he debuts the new menacing northpaw serve, entitled the “hybrid serve” the next match the MSBY have.)

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You are Miya Osamu and formally meet Akaashi Keiji for the first time. You recall him as one of the setters for Fukurodani, the highschool that often appeared in lists of participatory schools in the nationals as well as the former abode of your brother’s teammate, Bokuto “Bokkun” Koutaro. The dude’s nice. Probably needs more sleep, but generally nice. Seeing him and so many other people from highschool all gather up in Sendai for the match fortifies its already well-established significance. The crowd quivers and roars in awe as the MSBY win, some of shock, others of pride, many over at the Adlers side in goodbye to the sum of money they’ve pooled into bets. You quiver and roar in a grin, proud of your brother and the incoming flock of hungry customers coming over to your stand. 

.

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You are Miya Atsumu and your brother is Miya Osamu. No surprise he’s 60+ and still making those stupid equilateral riceballs of his. Probably because he’s got his life up together. Definately because he’s a FUCKIN’ [REDACTED] [REDACTED] HORSE-CRAP-LOOKIN’ [REDACTED] BITCHASS [REDACTED] [REDACTED] SHITTY SCRUB. You enter the shop and the doorway is no longer one you’d have to duck for in order to enter. The place is really neat. Sumiko-chan (16, working part time) welcomes you back and says Osamu-jiisan’s break is still in an hour or so. You wave her off saying you’re just gonna get a minced tuna and spring onion onigiris to go. She nods and tells you to wait for five minutes. You do so and in those five minutes, you watch ‘Samu smile as he’s heartily making those stupid equilateral riceballs of his out of rice and love and whatever the fuck each flavor requires. 

He’s probably happy. You're probably happier. But he’s definitely happy.

[babygirlwolverine]

For the unusual(ish) ask, could you please answer: 11, 16, 23, 31, 34

Darling!! Thank you for sending these my way!! I apologize that it took so long for me to answer this ask! But I really appreciate you sending them to me! I love answering these and the fact you sent me so many makes me very happy!

11) what unusual talent do you have?

Oh God. I don’t think I have an unusual talent? I literally can’t think of anything. My mind is coming up blank. I’m sorry.

16) if you had to get a tattoo right now, what would you get and where?

I’d get a little paw print with the name Millie under it for my first dog who passed away earlier this year. As for placement, probably either my ankle or on the back of my shoulder.

23) if you could break one of your bad habits which would you choose?

Oh, that one’s easy. Cracking/popping my joints. Mostly my knuckles, neck, and back. I have a habit of popping them all the time. Every day. And I know it’s not good for you, but it’s been a habit for as long as I can remember. It’s super hard to ignore the temptation, too. When my fingers or back feel stiff, the first thing I do is go to pop the joints to release the tension. I know I need to break the habit someday, but gah, it’s so hard.

31) You can change one thing about your life right now. what are you changing?

My sleeping schedule. If I could actually get decent amounts of sleep every night and have it be consistent, that would be amazing. Unfortunately I’m all over the place. I sleep either 5 hours or 2. I’m either asleep by 1am, or I stay up until 5am. There’s no in between. I’m a mess when it comes to my lack of a sleep schedule and I if I could I would happily change my sleep schedule to be better and healthier.

34) Do you like your hogwarts house or do you wish you were a different one?

I’m a slytherin and I’m very proud to be in slytherin! I love my house and wouldn’t want to be in any other house. There needs to be better representation to the slytherin. There’s a lot of good qualities in the slytherin house, and a lot of those qualities match me, so, to answer the question, I wouldn’t want to be sorted into another house.

Unusual(ish) asks <3

[therealvalkyrie]

My mind isn’t clear right now because I’m running high on emotions (esp after the new aot ch) but I just want to say that as long as you’ll stay cut me deep tonight. I expected to feel pain knowing how you have a beautiful way with words and stories but it defo hit a little close to home for me. Obv this is not your fault!! I should’ve been a bit more aware of how I’m still not over my own troubles.

I’ve read works with similar content and have been fine but this one really hurt . You were able to put down the feelings that I’ve felt and am still feeling. I could never explain it to friends or anyone. Always felt like the words were stuck in my throat and it’s been a whole year of it. Your writing is like magic though, I genuinely am so stunned by your work. You just know how to grasp each feeling and put it down into words, like how is that even possible?! (I’m sorry this is literally what I think every time I read your writing and I know ask every time I send an ask because I’m so in love with your writing and you!). I can’t even write a text with the correct emotions let alone a whole story (I get told that I’m super blunt via text, which is why I call or FaceTime).

I feel like I’m writing you a love letter. Fuck it, IT IS a love letter. My heart feels so full of different emotions every time I read your work. I don’t even know if I’m explaining myself properly or if I’m just repeating the same thing but I just feel so buzzed. I’m in awe of your talent. Also you’re such a cute human as well, like when you talk in your tags? You are straight up adorable val.

I should wrap this up and say: I defo should’ve given myself a bit more time before reading as long as you’ll stay, but I’m glad I did read it (I honestly can’t stop myself when it comes to any of your work). I love reading so so so much, and the quality of your work is just so pleasing for someone like me. I want to just give you my whole heart. The only way I can describe how you make me feel is imagine the warm afternoon sun that’s shining through the curtain on to your bed whilst you’re reading and there’s a kitty curled up on your lap or by your feet. That’s how you make me feel: safe and at home so thank you.

I’ve cried a lot tonight but I’m fine now, I have work at 6am and it’s 1am rn in London so I really should’ve sent this message after work but I don’t think I can sleep before sending it. Also, my minds a bit clearer now, it took me forever to write this message (wanted to make sure I made sense). I reread my message a couple times to make sure I don’t sound like an idiot but at this point I’ve just accepted my fate of being an idiot.

Good night love, hope you have a good day/night x

-🐈‍⬛

(IM SORRY ABOJT THE LONG MESSAGE, I’m so embarrassed but I don’t have the confidence to go on dms yet)

Good morning, darling!! First of all, please don’t EVER apologize for sending long messages; they make my heart feel so full and warm. I got this while I was in the bath last night, cried, reread it, and then had a dance party to Shania Twain in my room because I simply had to shake all my wiggles out:))) And now! I have slept, had breakfast, and am ready to respond.

I debated whether or not to post as long as you’ll stay for a long time before I was even done writing it. I was worried about its reception, for one, as well as the effect it might have on readers. I think a lot about my impact on the world from this little corner of the internet, y’know? Ultimately, I decided that if it might be as cathartic for someone else to read as it was for me to write, and if it might help them in some way, then it was worth it. (much in the same way i decided to post you feel love in the sodium) You have no idea how much it means to me that it helped you, in whatever small way, to find words to describe what you’re feeling. I don’t know your trauma and heartache, but I do know that finding solace and relief and maybe even closure in fiction is part of the human experience, and I am honored to have been involved in that. I wish you peace and healing and love, in all things, dearest<3

Also! I grinned so big when you said that my writing makes you feel like you’re curled up in a sunspot, because that’s pretty much exactly how it’s written. I write in my bed, beneath the big picture window, the sun streaming through the curtains, and my curled up by my feet:) I think it’s absolutely magical that that’s how the words were sent into the universe and that’s how they were received. That’s just like..... super rad you know??

I haven’t read the spoilers yet (and am trying to hard to avoid them lmao), but from what I’ve seen on my dash they’re a doozy. I hope at least some of your tears were cathartic, and that you were able to get some rest before work (can you feel me sending ~energy~ across the Atlantic Ocean??), and that you’re drinking water and eating good food. Seriously, this message was so, so kind and thoughtful; I’ve been thinking about it since last night. Absolutely no pressure, but if you ever want to come off anon and chat in my DMs, they are always, always open:) I always love seeing you pop up in my inbox. Thank you, I seriously cannot say enough how much I love and appreciate you<3

[pug-bitch]

That’s not why I’m going (29)

Share her air

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Drake Walker x Amara Suarez

Rating: some foul language, some extremely suggestive. This is NOT appropriate for people under 18.

Word count: about 3,400 (let me know if the ‘keep reading’ cutoff isn’t working well!)

Notes: This picks up the same day as last chapter, as everyone arrives in Penelope’s estate, starting with Amara’s POV.

*****

She gets out of Bertrand’s car, which she decided to ride in so as to not raise suspicions. Bertrand was delighted to have company and talked her ear off for the whole trip, which Amara was grateful for. It was a nice distraction from all the stressful thoughts she was trying to push down.

Another nice change is that, ever since he realized that Amara and Drake were a thing, Bertrand had stopped pushing the competition onto her. Not that she blamed him for doing so in the first place, since it was seemingly what she was here for, but it was a welcome change of pace.

Maxwell, Hana, Olivia and Drake have already arrived, all four of them stacked in Maxwell’s towncar. Bertrand was obviously less of a speeder than his little brother. The group barely has time to reunite and exchange pleasantries that Penelope is already coming out to greet them. She gives everyone a genuine hug and squeals when Hana and Amara’s turn comes along.

‘Girls! You’re wearing my house colors! How thoughtful!’

Amara smiles at Hana, who was definitely the thoughtful one: she remembered to pack Amara’s purple sundress from Ramsford.

‘You look lovely, Penelope,’ Amara says. ‘I love how you did your hair.’

‘Oh, thank you! My mom helped me. Come meet my parents, they’re dying to meet you!’

*****

‘This view is gorgeous,’ Amara says as she joins Olivia on the balcony.

‘Mhmm. It’s nice.’

Relaxed Olivia hadn’t lasted very long. She basically tensed up again the minute Liam walked in yesterday, and her stress level hadn’t gone back down. Amara desperately wanted to lift her spirits. ‘How about Penelope’s dad, huh? Talk about a DILF.’

Olivia snorts, ‘Ew, Suarez. Keep it in your pants. Unless you want it on a picture under a brunch plate.’

Alright, dishing about hot dads didn’t work. She sighs and responds, ‘You know I wouldn’t fuck Penelope’s dad, Liv. I was joking around. He’s just hotter than expected, that’s all. Even Maxwell says so.’

‘Maxwell is not a reference for good taste. I thought you were, though. Not that you know who is my taste, but I can respect it.’

Amara chuckles. ‘I remember the first time you told me you were on to me. How you said that you suspect that he’s good in bed because of all his pent up anger.’

Olivia finally lets out a faint laugh. ‘Ha. He doesn’t seem so angry anymore, though. You melted him, Suarez. Also, I vaguely remember that conversation, and I think we had both drinks and cigarettes for it. Right now we have neither. So, please don’t make me gossip with you sober.’

‘Oh, come on, Liv,’ Amara teases her, ‘you probably still have a slight buzz from the wine we had at lunch, right?’

Olivia looks at her wistfully. ‘I’m tired, Suarez. I don’t know why I’m here anymore. What’s even the point? I won’t get chosen. Not after… Ugh. Don’t make me talk any longer, please.’

Amara sets down her glass of apple cider. ‘Alright. I won’t make you talk, but I can make you listen.’

‘That’s even worse--’

‘Shh,’ she interrupts. ‘I get that you’re tired of this charade, believe me, I get it. More than you know. But also, so what if you don’t get chosen? Your whole life doesn’t depend on Liam and his every whim. You’re Olivia Fucking Nevrakis, for crying out loud, and if you can breathe…’

Olivia takes a deep breath. ‘Yeah yeah, I know. I just… don’t really wanna stand right now. Or fight.’

‘Then just breathe. That’ll be good for now.’

Olivia looks at her and Amara could swear she saw a smile curl up her lips, but it’s gone very quickly. She looks down at Amara’s glass and says ‘Give me your cider. I finished mine.’

She rolls her eyes and hands her the glass. ‘You’re a pain in the ass, Nevrakis.’

‘Ladies, don’t fight over one glass of cider, it has no booze in it, it’s not worth it.’

In their banter, Liv and Amara had not heard Rashad approach. ‘Oh, hello, Rashad,’ Amara says with a smile. ‘You’re right, it’s really not worth it. Don’t tell anyone I’ve been ragging on Cordonian apples, though…’

Rashad makes a zipper gesture over his lips. ‘No one will hear it from me. How are you both doing?’

Amara waits for Olivia to say something, but she just stares at the view. So, Amara replies, ‘We’re good, thanks. I was just going to find something to snack on, I’ve been eyeing the little puff pastries over there. Good to see you again, Rashad!’

‘Bon appétit,’ he says enthusiastically.

Amara waves at Liv whose eyes are shooting daggers at her. Amara stands by her decision to leave them alone. Olivia can still breathe, and she can share her air with a handsome guy, too.

*****

Liv can’t believe that Suarez left her alone with Rashad. Not that she doesn’t want to see him, but her manoeuvre was not smooth. She has to go because she needs a puff pastry? Please.

‘How is it going, Liv?’ he asks, moving closer to her on the balcony ledge.

‘Good, can’t complain. You?’

He nods. ‘Same. Can I ask you a question?’

She hesitates. ‘Go ahead.’

‘Did I do something to offend you? You can tell me.’

‘Is it because I didn’t answer your text? You said you were gonna be here, so I didn’t see the point of--’

He cuts her off. ‘No. I didn’t send it expecting an answer. I just wanted to tell you I’d be here. But um… you’re acting like you don’t want my company, and I was hoping we could hang out. I’d rather know now if you just want me to get lost. I can take it.’

She turns to him. He has the smile of a smooth operator, and an honest guy all wrapped up in one. She feels a slight butterfly in her stomach, which she wishes she could kill by contracting her abs.

Fuck, she thinks. She wants to tell him to get lost, she really does. But that evening in his company was something she would like to repeat, as hard as it is for her to admit, even to herself. Especially to herself.

‘I don’t want you to get lost. That’s just me. I think you’re aware that I was grateful for your presence and I enjoy your company. I didn’t think I needed to spell it out for you.’

It came out a lot more aggressive than she intended it to. Rashad smirks, and throws his hands up. ‘Touché. I’m the one acting like a needy child, I apologize. I shouldn’t have asked.’

‘Good thing you’re self-aware.’

He laughs. ‘One of my best qualities, Nevrakis. So, what have you been up to?’

She shrugs. ‘I was invited to a barbecue last night, so that’s what I’ve been doing.’

‘A barbecue? That sounds refreshing.’ He loosens his tie. ‘I can’t take these events anymore. Don’t get me wrong, Portavira is beautiful and I’m enjoying the company, but I wish the setting were less formal. I could go for a burger right about now.’

Olivia lets out a small chuckle. ‘Yeah, well you chose to be here.’

‘True. Not for the food, or the atmosphere, though.’

She falls silent. Is he openly hitting on her? It sure feels like it. She doesn’t know how to deal with it. It’s been so long since she was the one being courted by anyone. She usually has the upper hand, from the get go, and is the one choosing to pursue a man. Usually, successfully.

Or, in the case of Liam, unsuccessfully, for decades.

Rashad obviously notices her awkward silence, and continues. ‘I’ve been told about this other show by the Killing Eve creator, would you have any interest in checking it out sometime?’

Liv nods hesitantly. ‘Why not. Are there murders?’

He laughs. ‘I don’t think so. But the same writer, so...must be brilliant. You in? Or are you just in for the murders?’

‘Eh...I could be swayed.’

‘Cool. Also, you made me crave a fucking burger, thank you very much.’

‘Not my intention, Domvallier, but sorry anyways.’

‘There’s a place not far from here. A few miles away, by downtown.’ He types something on his phone. ‘Oh, and look, it’s open until 1am. After dinner tonight, I’ll sneak out to grab a burger and a shake, if anyone is interested.’ He downs his cider, smiles at her and walks away. ‘See you around, Nevrakis.’

*****

Drake looks at himself in the bathroom mirror, as he washes his hands. He takes a deep breath. So far, so good, right? He cracks his neck. He’s so fucking tense all of a sudden. He’s waiting for the other shoe to drop, for anything to go wrong. He keeps looking over his shoulder, and he knows he should appear more normal, but he just can’t help it.

The hardest part is trying not to look at her. Especially in that dress. Even if he’s not looking at her at all, even if his back is to her, she still destroys him with everything she does. Earlier, he was talking to Liam, and she was behind him, chatting with Penelope and her mother, Emmeline. When he heard Amara’s laugh, just for a second, he lost his train of thought and a million butterflies took laps in his stomach.

He can’t stop thinking about their weekend at the cabin. About how natural it all felt. About their hands intertwined over the dinner table. Their bodies enmeshed together, in the kitchen, in the backyard, in the bedroom, in the shower. Their endless conversations, their shared laughter, their deep talks about their families, their hopes and dreams.

He’s gonna have to stop washing his hands at some point.

As he’s about to open the bathroom door, there’s a knock. Weird. He and Amara had agreed to keep a low profile, so no sneaky bathroom rendezvous. He hesitates, and opens the door slowly.

‘Let me in.’

Bastien pushes himself into the bathroom and locks the door behind the two of them.

‘Wow, what’s going on,’ Drake asks.

‘Shh. I wanted to talk to you in private. We don’t have much time.’ Drake nods and listens. ‘Be discreet this week. All eyes are on her. She’s the biggest contender, the slightest faux pas and it’s a scandal. Got it?’

Drake nods. ‘I know. We know. Is there something you should tell me?’

Bastien sighs. ‘I’ve managed to keep you out of it so far, but I don’t know how long I can keep it up, Drake. All you need to know is, there are things that I couldn’t stop. They’re happening. You’re gonna need to be there for her after this weekend.’

Drake shakes his head in disbelief. ‘Wh--what? What things? Is anything coming out about Amara?’

Bastien gestures for Drake to stop talking, and listens through the door. ‘Kiara is approaching, you need to get out. Just stay alert. Ok?’

He pushes Drake through the door before he can say anything else. He can’t deal with even greeting Kiara right now, so he walks in the opposite direction, towards the hallway, where he paces, alone, for too long to not be suspicious.

What does Bastien mean? What could be coming out? Should he warn Amara? Or would it only serve to stressing her out?

‘What are you doing?’ Maxwell interrupts his nervous pacing.

‘Oh, um, nothing. I needed a second.’

Maxwell seems to register that Drake is fully hyperventilating. ‘Good Lord, Drake, let’s go for a walk.’

Max smiles at him and puts a guiding hand on his back, which Drake finds himself feeling grateful for. They walk out the door and towards the gardens, Maxwell’s comforting hand still on his shoulder. ‘Thanks man. I was losing my shit in there,’ Drake says as soon as they’re away from prying ears.

‘Are you ok? You wanna talk about it?’

Drake fills him in, in whispers, all the while looking all around for eavesdroppers. Max’s face falls. ‘Fuck,’ he says, his voice cracking slightly. ‘What did he mean, dammit? What are they gonna do to her?’

Drake shakes his hand, worried that, if he talks too soon, his voice might crack too. ‘I don’t know. I have no idea what they have on her, and Bastien seems to say that no one knows about us, so it can’t be that.’

‘Drake?’ Maxwell asks, looking away at the distance.

‘Hm?’

‘If there’s anything that hurts her, anything at all, you and I need to take her and leave. We’ll go to Paris, we’ll find your sister together. Or somewhere else, I don’t care. We need to protect her, ok?’

Drake’s eyes fill with tears. He must fight them, he thinks. All he can do is nod and avoid Max’s gaze.

Maxwell continues, ‘She’s like my sister, Drake. I saw what this fucked up situation did to Hana, and we were lucky because she bounced back. But Amara… she’s been through enough. I don’t want her to be exposed to anything more.’

Drake can’t fight those tears anymore. They fall on his face, all at once. He doesn’t know what to say, he’s just overwhelmed by everything: stress, guilt, love, friendship. So, he does what anyone would do: he wraps Max in a bear hug.

*****

‘Where are the boys?’ Hana asks, delicately nibbling on a small puff pastry.

Amara found it sweet how she always referred to Drake and Max as ‘the boys’, as if they were her kids, which, on some level, they kind of were. Amara looks around and replies, ‘No idea, I haven’t seen them in a hot minute.’

Hana nods, ‘I need to find Liam. To check on him, I promised.’

Amara feels a pang in her chest. The guilt is back. She and Drake have been dreading every interaction with Liam lately, even more so today, after he opened up to them about Madeleine and the Bastien investigation. She and Drake are sitting on so much information that they can’t share --or won’t share?-- with him, it’s making her sick. Still, she can’t even imagine how Drake must feel about hiding so much from his best friend.

‘Go,’ she tells Hana, ‘I’ll see you later, ok?’

Hana has barely left that Liv is already standing right next to Amara, almost giving her a jumpscare. ‘I’m gonna kill you,’ she says, not helping the scary situation.

‘Jeez, Liv, you probably are, if you keep giving me small heart attacks.’

Olivia gets closer and lowers her voice. ‘Why the fuck did you leave us alone?’

Amara smirks. ‘How was it?’

‘Ugh, you’re unbearable, Suarez. We talked for like two minutes, so you accomplished nothing.’

‘I don’t believe you.’

Liv lowers her voice some more. ‘He invited me to sneak out after dinner and have a burger.’

Amara cannot contain her excitement, and her smile betrays how she feels about the two of them getting together. ‘Are you gonna go? Please tell me you’re gonna go.’

Liv shrugs. ‘I don’t know. It’s definitely risky to sneak out of the estate, but at this point, I’m not sure I care if anyone sees me. It’s not like I’m doing anything wrong.’

‘Yet,’ Amara chuckles, her eyebrows raised playfully.

Oh shut up, you perv. Besides, I’m not like you or Walker, I can’t be bought with a circle of meat and some cheese.’

Amara bites her lip in order not to laugh. A circle of meat? What a weird way to describe a hamburger patty. ‘Yeah, plus, you had a burger last night, it would be a shame to repeat menus,’ she says sarcastically.

Olivia raises an eyebrow and breaks into a small smile. ‘Well, he also promised a shake, so that’s new.’

*****

‘I really appreciate this, Hana, you have no idea how much I needed the escape,’ Liam says, visibly more relaxed than yesterday already.

They left the estate to go wander in the gardens, and no one batted an eye. Ever since the picture of Caroline and her surfaced, Hana noticed that everyone stopped seeing her as a threat. Which was, probably, exactly the effect that was seeked by the person who did this.

In any case, she appreciated the sense of invisibility, after the whole scandalous aspect, so the joke was definitely on them.

‘Of course,’ Hana responds. ‘You seemed like you needed to talk, yesterday. You must have been disappointed that Drake was not around.’

Liam nods, looking at his feet. ‘I was.’ He pauses for a brief moment, and Hana waits for him to continue. She knows there’s more. ‘If I’m being honest, I feel very neglected by my friend. We’ve been close for years, by each other’s side through thick and thin. And now…’

Hana nods, and asks, ‘You feel like you’re growing apart.’

‘Exactly. I don’t know what it is, but I have a few guesses. Could be that I’m becoming king, sooner than we thought, and it definitely went to my head a bit.’

Hana’s heart breaks a little. ‘Don’t judge yourself too harshly. It’s a lot to take in. Especially with your father’s diagnosis, and all.’

‘Yes. It’s been rough. But even before I found out about my father, it went to my head. Specifically this,’ he gestures at the estate with all the festivities, ‘the competition.’

Hana gives him a sweet smile, ‘Whose head would it NOT go to? People are lining up for your hand, Liam. It’s a lot of attention, and there is no perfect way to handle it.’

Liam chuckles, ‘Well, my way certainly wasn’t perfect.’ He stops walking, and Hana follows suit. He looks at his coffee cup before taking a small sip, too small for him to taste anything. Obviously to gain time. ‘You must have heard,’ he adds. ‘You and Amara are close. I behaved in a very crass way with her. That might be why Drake is so distant. He’s always disapproved of my relentlessness with women, and this time, well, it was directed towards someone he cares about.’

Hana’s heart skips a beat. She needs to be very careful about what she says next. Pick her words, so she doesn’t lie, but doesn’t give them away either. ‘Drake is a caring friend. Amara and I have grown to care about him as well, and about Maxwell too. They’ve been a tremendous source of support through an intense situation.’

Liam smiles wistfully. ‘Drake is an amazing friend. So is Max.’

Hana lets the silence sit for a while, and then says, ‘So, if you could have talked to Drake yesterday, one on one, what would you have said to him?’

‘Heh, I’m not even sure. Probably that I’m feeling lost, that I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel alone.’ He stops and resumes his walking. Hana follows again. She feels for him, and if she can give him a tiny bit of companionship today, she will. And the next days, if he needs it. ‘Hana, I used to think I knew what’s gonna happen this weekend. But now I don’t.’

Hana notices that Liam’s hands are shaking. ‘It’s normal to be unsure. It’s your life we’re talking about. Your future.’

‘Yeah,’ he nods. ‘I used to be sure, though. As soon as I lay my eyes on her, in New York. When I saw her at the Debut Ball in Cordonia. I knew I wanted her.’

Hana sighs. She knew he was smitten with Amara, but she didn’t know how bad it was. Truly, he was bad at reading signals, because Amara had given him very little indication that she was interested ever since she’d arrived. Still, she needed to comfort him. ‘It must be tough. But you’ll find someone else, someone who loves you.’

‘Do you believe this, Hana?’ His voice is now filled with tears that he won’t let fall. ‘I have to choose a wife on Saturday. Saturday, as in five days from now. Amara is not in love with me. Liv is having sex with her bodyguard.’

‘Which doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you, Liam. Come on, you know her. And you have to realize that what happened between her and Ilya was physical.’

He nods, visibly calming down. ‘Maybe. But she refuses to talk to me, now.’

‘Maybe she’s embarrassed. Maybe you’ve even made her feel embarrassed.’

He lets out a long sigh. ‘You’re right. I told myself I needed to perform a grand gesture, because I’ve taken Liv for granted for years. Maybe now’s the time.’

*****

Taglist:

@drakeandcamilleofvaltoria @jovialyouthmusic @notoriouscs @andy-loves-corgis @mariahschoices @drakesensworld @thequeenofcronuts @drakewalkerisreal @alesana45 @nikkis1983 @simsvetements @iplaydrake @emceesynonymroll @lily1999love @drakewalkerwhipped @drakewalkerrosenberg @drakxwalker @drakeswalkers @drakelover78 @silviasutton1989 @dcbbw @carabeth @furiousherringoperatortoad @hollygirl1269 @sirbeepsalot

Thank you for your encouragements, everyone! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist :)

[justinsdaysinthedark]

Post #7 - It begins

Today was the day I started my chemotherapy. After talking about it for the past 48 hours and moving the planned beginning twice, it was such a big weight off my shoulders to finally get this recovery program moving and begin to take my first few steps to remission.

In true style to my journey to date, today didn’t come without waiting around and pondering what was happening. As far as I was aware and concerned last night, the chemo program was scheduled to start mid-morning which, by the end of it will see me finish around about that 9pm mark.

This wasn’t the case as 2pm rolled around and I was still waiting for the nurses to begin round one of chemo. As I’ve written before, I tend to be patient however this afternoon stretched that - just a little bit. It was a mix of things; the unknown on how I will feel and knowing the inevitable late finish were the two big worries at this stage.

Fortunately, Courtney visited today and was able to take my mind off waiting. It was the first time I’d seen her since Sunday and it was certainly the breath of fresh air and grounding I needed.

My afternoon nurse came in at 3:00pm and gave me a concoction of pills to take to help me through the initial stages of chemo. Simple medications like pain killers, anti-nauseous tablets and one to settle my stomach. Did these help? I suppose so! I haven’t felt any major issues so far which is always a good start!

Within fifteen minutes of taking these, the first bag of chemotherapy was up and into me. A step I never thought I’d get to over the past 48 hours! The only negative to the late start will be the late finish. The nurses are estimating to be done around 1am however my gut feeling says that may stretch out to 3am or 4am if the night nurses are busy!

The treatment specific to me is a little bit different to the ‘traditional’ treatment. Day 1 of 16 (today), involves five ‘bags’ of chemo with the biggest being the first one I’m attached to currently. As it stands right now, this 500ml bag has taken the better part of six hours and is only just finishing. Why’s that? Just due to me never having been exposed to the drug before. The safest way to administer it is to start off at an incredibly slow rate and increase it every half an hour, constantly checking my vitals and ensuring I don’t have any major issues being able to handle it.

From here, I’ll have a saline flush in between before starting the remaining four bags. From my understanding, the next few lots of treatment really get pumped through the body - roughly 15 to 30 minutes each so I expect this next process to pick up a little bit.

How do I currently feel? Hard to say. I’m tired and exhausted. Is that from the chemo treatment or a big evening of visitors and talking? I don’t know. One thing is for sure, I’m looking forward to a good sleep tonight and seeing what tomorrow brings.

Below I’ve attached a rough outline of what my next 16 days will look like so if you’re that way inclined, you can follow along at home. Obviously this does have some changes that aren’t listed however will be specific to me.

Yesterday brought me a moment of joy as mum organised with Jess (Comms at the Melbourne Renegades) to bring me in a bit of a ‘get well soon gift’ on behalf of them. Upon opening it, I was absolutely over the moon. Having been involved and following the team since its inception, seeing their BBL Final win earlier this year was joy to my heart. The gift - framed memorabilia of the day - is such a generous gift from them and one i certainly look forward to hanging up at home to remind me that anything truly is possible.

On a slightly different note, my best friend of nearly 20 years has been kind enough to set up a GoFundMe campaign to help me financially through the next few months.

This initial thought took me by surprise however I’ve been absolutely blown away with the support so many people have given. As I’ve often said, I’m lost for words. To those of you that have kindly donated but haven’t heard from me, check your message requests on Facebook as some may have slipped through to there. I never asked for this to be started. I never asked for people to donate their hard earned. I do know however, I am incredibly thankful for everything so far. The support, messages, phone calls and visits have been just incredible and I have you to thank for that. If you wish to have a look, you can check that out at this link.

That’s about all from me for tonight. From the bottom of my heart, thank you to everybody that I’ve been in contact with over the last few days. What seems like it a little bit is big in my eyes. I’ve got a long night ahead however hopefully I sneak in a few hours sleep at the back end of the night.

Apologies about the quality of tonight’s blog post. It’s certainly not up to my standard but I feel it was super important to let you all know I’ve started the process and it’s too late to turn back now.

The treatment has started. It’s real. Bring it. 👊🏼

Much love,

Juzz xx

Update Thursday August 1st, 1:55am: We’ve just started my final flush of sodium chloride (salty water) and I’m roughly 30 minutes off a good nights sleep. I’ve been able to sleep a little bit tonight - 20 minutes here and there but nothing substantial yet. The whole ten hour process from 3:30pm yesterday afternoon to now has taken so much more out of me than I expected. Other than being tired and having immense pulsating pains from the bones in my legs (normal), I haven’t experienced any other major side effects yet thankfully. Geoff, my nurse for tonight has been incredible once again. He understood pretty early it was going to be a late night for me and has been great in getting the process flowing freely. Really looking forward to breakfast in the morning and just having a low key day. On that note, it’s time for sleep, tomorrow’s a new day & I won’t let this lymphoma beat me.

[bryanllamado]

ATM with Bryan | 22

I’m constantly in search of how to open my blog with a greeting– without apologizing for being inactive like I usually do so… What’s up, readers? This is me, Bryan Llamado, and welcome to my blog! First things first, Merry Christmas to you who are reading this! I hope your Christmas wish(es) come true and you get every single item on your wish list. Well, it isn’t bad to wish for some things when you’ve been good all year long, right? I also hope you feel all the Christmas and holiday vibes because people rarely feel them nowadays.

It’s almost 1AM in the morning and I decided to draft this entry much because I wanted to write something on Christmas– to do something productive. Of course I have a lot of things to blog about like my 4 month internship in Thailand, oratorical contest in Baguio and how the recent semester was! My schedule has been crazy during the start of the month because we finished our undergraduate thesis and defense. Plus, I also joined a competition in Baguio! #damingtime Luckily, the semester break just began and so, I’m giving you a list of my ‘at the moments.’

C U R R E N T L Y

Reading

Losing Hope by Colleen Hoover. I know I mention CoHo a lot in my blogs and how much I love her novels! Well, the word love is an understatement. I’ve considered myself addicted to CoHo novels after reading November 9 and It Ends with Us. Since then, I found myself reading CoHo books from time to time. And after reading Hopeless, I decided to read this one which is a companion novel of the former.

Writing

the 22nd volume of ATM with Bryan. I have a whole lot of blog topics to work on and I hope to finish all of them before the next semester begins. Ang dami ko nang utang sa inyo! And I might as well start paying my blog debts with this entry. I’m also looking forward to blogging about new topics pero secret muna. Baka mag-expect agad kayo! Basta watch out for my next entries na lang! Haha

Listening

to The Essential: Celine Dion album– and I’m not even kidding with this one. I recently stumbled upon a Zac Efron interview and he mentioned that he has this album! So while I was looking for good music to listen to before starting this blog, I remembered that interview so I immediately looked up for this album in my library and pressed play (but skipped the tracks that I don’t know lol).

Thinking

about what to splurge slash spend on this Christmas. I suppose everyone’s getting their fair share of Aguinaldos this season and the money will definitely go somewhere– food, shopping, clothes, bank (some people actually save lol) or charity (for the kindhearted ones). I’ll be a little selfish this time but I don’t know where to actually spend the money on. Any suggestions? Decent ones please. Haha

Smelling

the scent of mosquito coils– decided to light up one because I already feel some mosquitoes trying to bite my skin.

Wishing

for a new phone. My phone (which is a ZH&K Odyssey Ace) has been with me for three years now and I badly want to replace it. It’s such a hassle to use much because it’s old already and there are things that I want to work on (my blog, YouTube channel, Instagram feed) that my phone’s capacity could not carry out. I’ve been eyeing some Android brands for a while now so I hope to get one ASAP.

Hoping

to spend quality time with my family and friends this holiday season! What are holidays for if you don’t spend time with your loved ones? This is also the much needed time when everybody is free from *responsibilities* so we have time to catch up and bond. I miss my high school friends so much and I think I won’t stop talking the moment we see each other! Kwento pa more!

Wearing

a red shirt that I got when I was in high school and a pair of blue shorts– still in last night’s sleep wear because today is a stay-in-and-no-ligo kind of day.

Loving

the fact that I have the time to blog, read novels and plan things. I rarely have time to do these things once a semester begins simply because I have a hard time balancing my schedule and my free time is spent mostly on SLEEP. I know I barely rant about how stressful college life is but most of the time, I feel burnout kicking in because I couldn’t do the things that I love.

Wanting

to get a new planner for 2019. I decided not to get a Starbucks planner for next year because it’s not practical. When I got back from Thailand, I only go to school every Fridays and when I need to accomplish something so my allowance was cut down to just enough for my needs. I knew collecting stickers will only drag me down the drain so I skipped this time. Siguro next year! Haha

Needing

to go on a diet. It’s not a secret that I gained a whole lot of weight when I was still in Thailand and I haven’t done anything to get rid of the extra weight just yet. I think I also need to exercise badly! Di na sapat yung diet diet lang! This time around, I won’t pressure or starve myself in order to be fit. Also, some people (including me) think that I look better with my current body. *winks*

Feeling

excited to see my relatives and friends this Christmas. We just had our annual family reunion with the Llamado angkan weeks ago and I definitely had a good time! This season, it’s the turn of Gatdula angkan to reunite. I also haven’t seen my high school friends for the looongest time and we already have plans of going out. *sana matuloy* *sana hindi drawing* lol

Clicking

on my Adobe Lightroom CC app. I need to change my feed and I found the perfect preset that will help me achieve the theme that I want. Unfortunately, the theme I chose (which I won’t reveal yet, abang abang na lang) is hard to maintain so I’m editing a bunch of photos just to have enough stock in case I ran out of new photos or ideas. Hassle but it challenges my creativity so laban lang! Haha

I hope everyone’s having a blessed and restful Christmas season!

Advance happy New Year to everyone as well!

Till the next entry!

Bry. x 122518