#apexroyalty

[nettledpennies]

The scent of tea was a subtle thing that lulled the office into a calm. Nettie didn't enjoy having a lot of overwhelming scents in one area. She took a lazy sip of her tea as she glanced up to look up at the clock, her next patient should be in soon. A Mr. Salvatore. She took one last glance over the questionaire he submitted. Seems like he's one of the lucky few to actually have insurance to cover this sort of treatment. Good for him. She set the paperwork back on her desk and moved to the doorway, opening it and looking out into the waiting room to see a young man seated. He looked like he was barely out of his teenage years. "Stefan? Ah, please come in. Have a seat. I hope traffic wasn't too terrible."

@apex-royalty is a new patient.

[painofhumanity]

@apex-royalty continued from here

As soon as she agreed, everything in him sagged with the relief of not having to put up a front; his expression became something sad and tired and pained. "Okay," he replied with a sad smile. "We can watch whatever you want."

Tom followed her in and dropped onto the couch, looking like a sad little kitten. "Elena. . . Elena told me to come talk to her, when I'm having a rough day, but it's. . . It's hard to explain it to her, and I'm honestly too tired to try right now." He looked at Rue. "I just need to be with someone who's not gonna judge me."

[wolfskrieger]

@apex-royalty liked for a one liner - Sorgenkind, YFG Pave

"No, they don't even see half of what it really means."

[painofhumanity]

"If Rue is anything like Lexi is to me? She'd be more mad if you didn't ask."

He offered a little smile, trying to encourage without being pushy. It took Stefan a long time to feel like he was allowed to rely on other people. Between his father's toxic views of what it is to be a man, and his own guilt...

Tom's surprise that Stefan would help wasn't a shock either.

"Hey, Damon's you're brother right? That makes you my little brother in some round about way. Of course I'd help you out."

". . . Rue would kick my ass," Tom admitted after a brief hesitation. "I'm not exaggerating. She would literally make me turn around so she could kick me in the ass, just to prove a point."

Tom rubbed the back of his head, thinking his doppelganger's offer over. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate the offer, or that he thought Stefan had some kind of ulterior motive; he just didn't want to be a burden to anyone.

"Would you really want to? I'm not exactly. . fun." He'd made a few friends in spite of his lack of social skills, but he wasn't sure Stefan understood what he was getting himself into by offering to stay with Tom.

[painofhumanity]

It really is like watching himself struggle in a different light. They weren't the same person, but they felt a lot of the same things. Stefan's addiction was just more deadly for other people than himself.

"This is where your support system comes into play. Can you stay with a friend? Or have one stay with you?"

Katherine had told Stefan everything, it was why he came back to mystic falls. To fix a mess he felt like he caused. To right a wrong he knew he couldn't right. Just another impossible standard he held himself to. Doesn't that sound familiar?

"I don't know your friends, or your girlfriend, I don't know what exactly your relationship with Katherine is, but if none of them can or will stay with you I will." The older doppelganger offered. "I know you don't really know me, and I won't be offended if you turn me down. I just want you to know you have options. People who care."

He doesn't address the 'would haves' it wouldn't help him to say that Damon wanted Stefan back, not just another brother. He didn't want to take anything else away from the kid. He'd already lost too much.

"Rue would stay here, if I asked. . . Especially if it meant pissing off Damon," he added with a weak laugh. "She hated him even before she knew what he did." In a lot of ways, Rue had better instincts about people than he did.

When he thought about it, he was sure Rue would come if he asked her; she wouldn't even ask questions, she would just come over. "But. . . I don't know, I don't wanna put her out." Besides, he didn't think Elena would like him having Rue stay for a while. But the idea of having Elena stay made him feel weirdly nervous, in a way he couldn't explain, even to himself.

He sighed and hugged himself around the waist, one hand rubbing at his arm. "You'd do that?" he asked, visibly stunned by Stefan's kindness. "But you barely even know me? I don't understand."

Tom was the one who helped. He was the one who carried other people's pain as well as his own, always trying to lessen the burdens of those around him while being crushed by his own.

[painofhumanity]

"Hey, he can still be your brother. He's my brother too. He hasn't always been the best to me either."

Making his life miserable for CENTURIES.... but Stefan low key felt like he deserved it, for different reasons than the ones Damon put on him.

"He can be your brother and treat you poorly. Both of these things can be true. You can love him as your brother and still be hurt and angry. Both of these things can be true." He reassured him. Gods knows Stefan had been angry with Damon for years and vice versa. In fact it was Stefan's fault Damon spiraled hard enough to do what he did to Tom. "Being brother's is complicated because it's not black and white like that Tom. You're allowed to be his brother and want your space. You're allowed to care about having him in your life and be angry at what he's done. The title is in your name, if you want we can figure something out and get it switched to someone you trust's name. You can keep him out even if it's just for a while."

"Loving someone, caring about them doesn't mean you cant be angry with them or hold them accountable." Both Damon and Katherine came to mind here. "If there are never consequences for our actions we never learn from them, right?"

Tom blinked back tears and swallowed hard as he tried not to cry, but nodded. He knew all this, really. But knowing it, and actually internalizing it for himself, well. . .those were two different things. Tom wasn't quite ready to put it into practice just yet.

He let out a wet laugh, clearly still on the verge of tears, but he found his voice. "The stupid thing is, he didn't even have to compel me. . . I was twelve, I was an orphan, I had just moved to a new town. . . I was desperate to have anyone else in my life who cared about me. He could've just told me we were family. . . I would've believed him, and I would've loved him anyway. He didn't-- He didn't have to. . ." The tears finally fell and Tom aggressively rubbed at his eyes. He couldn't dwell on that; the anger would consume him.

"I just. . .being alone in that house, I don't know. . ." Tom sighed and looked back up at Stefan. "Katherine told you about me. . ? The-The drugs and stuff. Right?" He began toying with his zipper again. "I'm-- I'm worried that if I was alone all the time, I'd. . . It took a long time to stop and get my act together. I don't wanna fall back into that again. And Damon, he may not be the most empathetic person, but he--he does actually help, believe it or not, if only because he gives me other problems to focus on besides mine."

[painofhumanity]

"All alone?" Stefan asked with raised brows. "I hear you have a best friend who's a Bennett. I hear you have an adorable little girlfriend. I even hear that you some how managed to befriend Katherine Pierce."

In all honesty he knew the feeling. For so long Damon had also been all he had, and in reality sometimes it still felt like that. Walking away from him had been one of the hardest thing's he'd ever done, and in a lot of ways he blames himself for the person Damon turned into. But there was no reason Tom had to suffer that weight when it wasn't his to bear.

"I think when we only know one thing for so long it can be hard to see everything we've gathered for ourselves over time."

Lexi had been a huge help in his life, someone he really needed, she wasn't afraid to smack him if he took things for granted.

"Despite the reality you were made to believe, you've managed to get yourself a nice little support system all by yourself. Damon didn't give that to you. I'm willing to bet most of them probably don't even like him." He offered with a smile. "Damon may be a large piece of what you have.... but he isn't all of it."

". . .two of 'em, if you count Bonnie," he mumbled with the beginnings of a smile. And Tom felt lucky to have both her and Rue in his life; in many ways, the Bennetts had saved him.

Tom looked up at Stefan--and it really didn't stop being weird seeing his own face looking back at him like that--and tried to hide the trembling in his voice when he said, "He's my brother. . . I mean, I know he's. . .he's not, not really, but it's-- I can't get rid of what he put in my head, Stefan," he said miserably. "And even though I know the truth, now, he's still my brother."

He tapped his foot nervously and fiddled with the zipper on his hoodie. "It's not even like I can actually cut him out of my life anyway. I mean, it's his house." Technically speaking, the house was in Tom's name, as it went to him after Uncle Zach died, but Damon wasn't exactly easy to say 'no' to.

"It's just, I feel. . ." Trapped. Stuck. Powerless. Terrified. "I don't know what to do."

[painofhumanity]

"You know you don't have to be ok with what Damon did to you just because he's done some good things too, right?"

Tom chewed on the inside of his cheek and shrugged. "I guess," he replied in a small, uncertain voice. "It's just. . .he's kinda all I have left, and without him, I--" He looked away. "I guess I'm scared to find out what happens next if I'm alone," Tom admittedly quietly.

[painofhumanity]

"You’re my best friend. I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else."

( @apex-royalty from Bonnie OR Rue to Tom. In a non-romantic way.)

"Hey," Tom said softly. He cupped Rue's cheek with a gentle hand and dipped his head down a little to meet her eyes. "I'm not going anywhere, okay? 'Cause you're my best friend, too." They shared an experience no one else understood, being addicts, and there was a special kind of comfort in talking about that struggle with someone who actually got it. ". . . Wanna get some donuts and eat our feelings?" he asked with a soft smile.

[painofhumanity]

Tom, for his part, almost zoned out entirely as soon as the show started. He always tried to be engaged and present with most people, but Rue was one of the treasured few in his life who he felt comfortable seeing the depression underneath, because he knew she wouldn't judge him anymore than he would judge her for her issues. Existing was hard enough, and she understood that better than most.

It wasn't until her jab at Elena that Tom checked back in. "Actually. . between the two of us, Elena's the fun one," he informed his best friend in a numb voice.

"She. . .pushes me. I was perfectly happy just being a brooding loner, but Elena makes me actually want to try to engage with people." He smiled softly. "I like who I am when I'm with her, Rue. I'm doing things I would never normally do, like joining the football team, and I'm actually enjoying it." Tom turned his head just enough to catch Rue's eye. "I know I can't make you guys be friends. Just. Try not to be so hard on her?"

Rue was a lot of things, and disrespectful was a lot of them- but that didn't apply to Tom. To Rue, Tom was completely different. Not like anyone else. He didn't stand on a soap box spewing anti-drug addict bullshit from a place he knew nothing about. He understood her motivations, he understood her pain. Yea it was dangerous but they both knew you can't get a drug addict clean till they're ready to be.

Tom had made the choice to get clean and stay clean on his own, and Rue respected that. Just like in turn, he respected that she wasn't quite there yet. She needed time, and he was happy to support her through it. She wants to get there, she just isn't. It's an important understanding to have. Tom and Rue's relationship was built on mutual understanding of a demon they both fought. Honestly it was one of the most stable relationships in her life.

She leaned her head against his and hit the space bar. The old sitcom started playing and a comfortable silence fell over them. One that held no expectations. Just company.

Occasionally the light giggles of Rue, and eventually some sassy commentary.

"Man these old ladies are more fun than your girlfriend man how do you manage it." She teased.

[painofhumanity]

"Rue," Tom chided halfheartedly. Deep down. . .he knew she was right. Elena had a strong sense of morality that she judged people by, and, well. . .she wasn't always right, and didn't leave a lot of room for shades of grey. "She means well, even if it doesn't always seem like it." Because he'd seen Elena when that confident facade crumbled, knew she was just doing her best, just like the rest of them. He could never judge her for that.

Tom didn't bother asking Rue not to slap his girlfriend, because he knew she meant it; she was restraining herself for his sake, and that wouldn't change unless she thought Elena was hurting him.

He settled on the couch and snuggled up to his best friend before dropping his head on her shoulder. "That's okay," he mumbled. "I don't really care what we watch, I just. . . I just needed this." No one understood why Tom, seemingly so sweet and gentle and good, was friends with a girl like Rue. It was because Rue had seen the very worst of him, and never once judged him. There had never been any pressure in their friendship to make the 'right' choices.

She knew that look, that sad relief where you know you should want one thing but all you want is another. Yea. She knows that feeling all too well.

Though for her it's never a choice between her best friend or a girlfriend for comfort... it's staying clean or not staying clean. Damn her support system she knew what she wanted....

Tom on the other hand? He's a good kid, not like her. She supports him staying clean, she'd probably beat his ass if he didn't. Not true, she doesn't judge him either way, that's why he came to her.

"Man no offense because shes real cute, but you picked like the second judgyest girl in this damn town to date." Rue half smirked. "I haven't slapped her just because of you, how you know that."

The Bennett girl smirked to herself as she pulled out the lap top.

"Grams only got a tube t.v. Says she likes the novelty of it.... but it has no steaming services soooooo lap top it is." God she hates staying here.