#aparently the cardiologist will not be necessary... Yet™ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gatun-gatunesco · 2 years ago

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The Reason For Being Sick 2

- So, your heart is broken.

- Is that obvious? Day after day i go into a spiral of grief, anger, sadness and hope. And i know i should not have hope anymore.

Why a part of my heart aches so fast for a genuine regret with the lesson deep learned? It is so bad to be this fanciful about love?

I want her back, but i will not force her to be with me when she left by her own choice. And i know; there is another one who catched her heart. It should be enough proof and enough reason for me to not let her comeback.

Yet here i am; Wishing to know if those two are intimate already (emotional or sexual) so i can kill all my hopes and change sadness for anger... And at the same time; Wishing that nothing happens and we could create a new relationship, perhaps not as colourful as it was before, but a mature and solid one.

I do not understand myself and this contradicting feelings.

- Yeah, me nither. Because i mean "heartbroken" as the infection is making your heart have tachycardia, therefore, more health issues.

- Oh... That is bad, but everything make sense now.

#Sick 2: Electric Boogaloo!!!#The weak body and low energy do not let me realize stuff #aparently the cardiologist will not be necessary... Yet™#for now i need to drown myself with hydratation and some meds #but you know what i hate when most people learn i do not longer have a partner?#“do not worry you will found another one better” THAT IS NOT THE POINT #the problem is that i still love her and until i can not stop those feelings nobody else should enter my life IS NOT FAIR FOR THEM #not that i will search for someone tho at least not like this #but is true that i do not want to be without intimacy anymore #much less in solitude #i do not know who and what i am anymore

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