#anywho... if i seem distant or... off it's not you it's me lmao

[mxgyver]

.

[sparrowofthedawnsworld]

Middle Of The Night -

Sam Kiszka

A/N: Not me using my current life situation for a fanfic lmao- jk. I’m not gonna say this is fully based off of what’s going on in my life right now, but it kind of is lol. This is nothing crazy like my other fics, this is just my way of letting off some steam. Anywho… I hope y’all enjoy this little Sam fic!

Warnings: 18+!! Minors DNI! Fingering, oral (m&f receiving), choking, teasing, praise kink, hair pulling, unprotected sex (wrap it up, y’all)!! Light fluff.

••••

You were tired of him. So, so tired of him… But you couldn’t let go.

No matter what you did, he was always on your mind. You had met Sam years ago, the universe bringing you together at the worst possible moments, every single time. No matter what you and Sam did, it was always the worst timing for one or the other. It was eating you up inside. He was all you wanted and no matter what you did, he was always seemingly so distant from you.

But how did he feel so far, but so close all at once?

Thought after thought, daydream after daydream… Sam practically consumed you.

Sure, you had your days where he never even crossed your mind. but it seemed like those days were few and far between.

However, even with his claims of not wanting a relationship, he didn’t exactly do his part in letting you

be. He always knew just when to reach out, reeling you back in… right where he wanted you. He could never let you get too far. Neither of you could stray too far from each other for that matter and you begged to know what was keeping you both so drawn to the other.

After countless nights sleeping on Facetime, texting almost all the time, calling just to see what the other was doing at random times of the day, it all stopped. It was sudden and shocking to you, but even though it made you upset, you couldn’t bring yourself to be mad at him. A part of you pleaded to let go of Sam, but your heart and soul overruled in that decision.

You craved him…

‘Please bring him back to me,’ you would beg in your mind, not so patiently waiting for the next time he would each out.

<>

And that’s exactly where you were right now. Lost in deep thought of the beautiful boy, begging the universe to bring him back to you again. For good this time…

You couldn’t keep letting him come back, just to ghost you again.

Despite the urges to reach out, most of your past efforts to do so ended up useless… The line ringing and ringing until either you just hung it up, or you finally reached the dreaded automated voice, taunting you that the man on the other end, couldn’t be bothered to answer.

You were more than aware, that the whole situation was teetering the line of toxic and unhealthy at this point, but you just couldn’t let Sam go.

You laid in your bed, staring up at the ceiling and humming the song he had played one time. You had never stopped listening to it… Often times the closest thing you had to him, when you didn’t hear from him for weeks or months at a time.

You didn’t want to do it… You were fed up with almost always being the one to reach out first. It made you feel desperate- And while you kind of were, You couldn’t have Sam knowing that.

You had successfully manifest him once before, but couldn’t understand what had been blocking your recent attempts.

But, you picked up your phone anyway, opening it and going straight to his pinned contact in your text messages. You clicked it, fingers hovering over the keyboard.

‘Should I even bother..?’ You asked yourself.

Suddenly, an incoming call taking over your screen, practically scared you senseless. Your breath hitched, eyes going wide in pure disbelief, at the specific ringtone that was sounding through your phone and the name that displayed. With hands shaking violently, you hit the little green button.

“Hello?” You answered cooly. You didn’t want to sound nervous or show any sort of major emotion towards him. You lifted the phone in view of your face when you felt ready, revealing the man you’d been dying to talk to, grinning on the screen.

“Still picking up after just two rings, huh?” He teased at your eagerness.

“I already had my phone in my hand,” you lied straight through your teeth. “I should have just declined it, like I started to.” You shot at him. It came out dripping with annoyance, but still managed to sound too playful for your liking.

“Please, you couldn’t ignore my calls if you wanted to.” he said, as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

His constant teasing and borderline cockiness always made you weak. You couldn’t figure out why you loved it so much, but you did.

“You’re right, I guess.” You giggled, giving into him as you always did. You always melted away at his voice.

“So what made you call me, stranger?” You broke the short silence that had fallen over.

“I wanted to talk to you and… see you.” Sam said hesitantly. Your jaw dropping slightly at his words.

“You want to what??” You questioned, at an utter disbelief of his words.

“You want to what?!” He mocked you, with a little laugh.

“I want to see you, Y/N.” He repeated, his tone was warm and honest this time.

“Sammy… You know I can’t leave here. I have a show tomorrow..” You pointed out.

“I didn’t say YOU had to leave,” He chuckled. “I’ll come see you. If I leave right now, I’ll be there at 11.” He seemed to have everything figured out already.

“Sam…?” You couldn’t keep doing this with him. It almost felt like you were just a convenience for him and you couldn’t take it.

“What?” He answered curious to what you had to say.

“I don’t know if this is a good idea. I’ve tried to see you so many times and you always blow me off…” You began to ramble. “And on top of that, you only talk to me when you feel like it. I feel too deeply for you to keep doing this, Sam.” You release an unsteady breath into the silence that fell over both of you.

He let out a heavy sigh. You knew he was preparing to give you another empty apology.

“I know, Y/N. I’m sorry, I really am..” you rolled your eyes. “I know i’ve said that so many times now, but I mean It this time. I can’t keep letting you go. I want to be with you… I really do.” He confessed. As much as you wanted to believe him, you couldn’t keep letting him off so easily.

“I need actions, Sam. You’re always giving me empty apologies and broken promises…” You said weakly, pain taking over you.

You looked at him intently through the phone, watching him get up and walk somewhere in his room. Without a word from him, he jerked a suitcase from his closet, tossing it to the bed.

“Sammy, what are you doing?” You questioned.

“Coming to see you.” He stated simply. He propped his phone against something, leaving you to watch him pull clothes out and throw them into the suitcase.

“I’m not blowing you off this time.” He assured, looking directly at you through the phone.

“You’re really gonna leave tonight?” You asked, shocked at his spontaneous decision.

“I’m packing this bag and i’m leaving, yes.” He answered in a duh tone. You laughed at him and you could see a small smile break over his lips.

You’d never even kissed Sam, but you wondered often how incredible it would feel to have his lips and hands all over you. Sure you both had talked about it, but for one reason or another, you had never actually done anything.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about over there?” He laughed at you.

“You’re actually coming here? Right now?” You continued on in denial, much to his amusement.

“Yess, I am, Y/N.” He groaned in fake annoyance. He placed a few other things in his suitcase, zipping it up and placing it down on the floor.

Coming over and picking up his phone, he carried you along with him to find his keys.

“I’m just surprised, okay!” You defended. You felt your stomach flutter at the sound of his keys.

“I won’t believe it, until you’re standing at my door.” You told him honestly.

Your trust in him really was low…

“Well, be waiting by it. I’ll see you in a few hours.” He continued to laugh at your disbelief. “I’ll text you when I get to the bridge, okay?” He asked, bring the phone back up so you could see each other.

“Okay..” You spoke softly, watching him get in the car. You weren’t sure what emotions you were feeling, or how you would feel when he got to your apartment. All you cared about was that he was actually coming to see you. For real this time.

“I’ll see you in a few hours.” He said, starting up the car.

“See you in a few hours.” You repeated his words back to him.

He hung up, leaving you to stare off in complete shock. The feelings were so overwhelming, making you too antsy to sit still any longer.

You got up immediately, cleaning your entire apartment and pacing around like a mad man every so often. You were thankful that it killed most of your time, but you were wishing that it had helped to calm you more.

After finishing your bedroom, all you had left to clean was the living room.

Your heart skipped at the sound of your phone notifying you of a text.

You walked over to where it laid on your dresser, seeing a text from Sam.

Sammy-boy: ‘Be there in 30 minutes, maybe less’

You were certain you were going to throw up, but part of you still didn’t believe him.

As if he read your mind, he sent another text

Sammy-boy: *started sharing his location with you*

Your hand flew over your mouth once his location loaded, seeing that he was really coming across the bridge to where you lived.

The short 30 minutes you had left to wait, you swore felt like another 3 hours. You couldn’t sit, trying to find any and everything to contain your nerves for the remainder of the time.

You jumped at the knock on the door, all but running down the hall into the the living room.

You stood shakily, hand over the doorknob, trying to gather yourself as best you could.

You opened it, revealing a smirking Sam. You smiled at him widely, both of you just staring in shock. You stepped to the side to let him in. He wasted no time putting his suitcase down and extended his arms out to you. The moment you surely thought would have you running to the closest bathroom, actually had you doing the opposite. You stepped into his arms right away, letting him wrap you in the tightest, warmest, most comfortable hug you’ve ever been given.

You relaxed into him within seconds, all your nerves and worries washing away. You knew this was it… After all this time, you just knew he was finally yours.

“I told you I was coming to see you.” He nudged you, laughing at your previous state of shock.

“Shut up and just keep hugging me for a second.” You nudged back.

You pulled back slightly, searching to meet his eyes. You swallowed hard, thinking of the best way to ask for what you wanted.

“Please, kiss me, Sam… I- I’ve thought about it so many times. I just want to finally know how it feels to kiss you.” You pleaded with him.

He nodded just barely, leaning in to connect his lips with yours.

You hated when people compared their kisses to those of movies, but now you understood why.

The kiss was gentle and sweet, your lips moving in perfect timing with Sam’s.

You deepened the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. You wanted him as close to you as possible, scared that he was disappear if you let him go.

He pulled away for air, resting his forehead on yours.

“I’m not ignoring you anymore. I’m not going anywhere.” He promised You.

“Please, don’t.” You begged him, with a smile breaking over your face. “I missed you a lot.” You pulled him down for another kiss.

“Come on, I want to take care of you. Will you let me do that?” He asked, lips still ghosting over yours.

“Please. I’ve wanted you to take me for so long.” You told him. You knew you sounded so needy, but you didn’t even care.

Sam pulled away, taking your hand and guiding you to what he vaguely knew to be your room from past facetime calls.

You let go of his hand as the two of you entered your bedroom, closing the door behind you.

You barely had time to turn around to face Sam again, before he had you pushed against the door.

He crashed your his lips to yours in an intense kiss, snatching the air from your lungs.

“I’m an idiot for ignoring you so much.” He mumbled more to himself. You shook your head at him.

“Maybe just a little..” You grinned, rather smugly, but part of you meant it. He knew that, too.

“I’ve told you many times that you deserve the best… You’re such a great girl. You’re too good for me…” He leaned his forehead against yours, looking so deep into your eyes, you were sure he could see inside you.

“I’ll do whatever I have to do, to be good enough for you.” He promised you, connecting your lips in a tender kiss.

You pulled him as close as you could, deepening the kiss. He slid his hands down your body to the back of your legs, squeezing them, beckoning you to jump. You did as he wanted, letting him lift you up and carry you to your bed.

He laid you down gently, waiting for you to move into a comfortable position, before crawling over top of you.

“You’re so beautiful…” He whispered to you. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, baby. Is that what you want? You want me to finally make you feel good?” He was working you up more and more by the second, and he knew it. He loved it.

“Yes, please. Sammy, I want you so bad.” You gave into him, hoping he would take it easy on the teasing.

“I bet you do. You gotta beg for it.” He smirked, voice dropping to the low tone he knew drove you absolutely crazy.

“Come on, Sammy, please. I’ve waited too long for you to tease me.” You scolded in a whine.

“What did I tell you that one night?” He hummed, raising his eyebrows in question. “Because I think I told you I was gonna break you. Make you come so hard, you see stars..” He growled into your ear, answering for you.

You were speechless. His confidence and dominance over you, was already making wetness pool between your legs.

“I’m gonna take care of you, like no one ever has.” He confirmed cockily.

He trailed his lips across your jaw, sucking on a spot just below it.

He continued his slow trail down your neck, stopping over the spot where your neck met with your collarbone.

He looked up at you with a smirk.

“I guessed that this is your weak spot. Remember that?” He asked you, his eyes were dark, but still playful and smug.

“Yeah, I do…” You answered breathlessly. He dipped his head back down to your neck, placing his lips on the spot he somehow knew would send you reeling.

You whimpered as he pulled the sensitive skin between his teeth harshly, flicking his tongue over the area to soothe it.

“Sam, please. How much do I have to beg?” You pried, grabbing his face to pull him up to meet your eyes.

“I’m not caving that easily, pretty girl. You better just be patient.” He spoke, almost in a warning tone. “I promise i’m gonna take care of you. Take this off.” He commanded, tugging at the hem of your t-shirt.

“Take yours off.” You shot back, grabbing his t-shirt in a fist.

You both made quick work of pulling away your shirts, taking it upon yourself to remove your bra right after. You stared at each other for a moment, taking in the others newly exposed skin.

Sam’s eyes grew darker at the sight of your bare upper body, taking you in with a soft groan. He pulled himself together, taking both of your breasts in his hands carefully.

“God, you’re so gorgeous.” He complimented lowly. He lowered his mouth to one of your nipples, biting and sucking on it, sending a rush of pleasure straight to your core. You knew your panties would surely soak through your shorts soon.

He moved to the other, repeating the actions on the other nipple, finally pulling a sweet noise of pleasure from your throat.

“That’s it, that’s what I want. Keep making those pretty noises for me.” He encouraged, leaving your chest and trailing his lips down your belly.

He looked up at you, his signature smirk returning.

He sucked at the sensitive skin just above your bellybutton, making you arch into his mouth.

“You like when I kiss you here?” He asked, ghosting his lips down to another spot, just below your bellybutton this time.

“Yes-“ You choked out through a strangled breath. “Sammy, please. I need you to do something.” You pleaded with him, for what felt like the hundredth time.

“Tell me what you want, then.” He pushed, pulling the tie of your shorts loose.

“I need your mouth… your fingers, please. I just need you here.” You placed his hand over your throbbing core through your shorts.

He hooked his fingers into them, pulling them down along with your soaked panties. Once he got them off, he settled between your legs again.

“Look at you… so wet.” He all but groaned. “Is this where you want me?” He said in a taunting tone.

“Yes, Sammy.” You whimpered pathetically.

He trailed light kisses up the inside of each thigh, running a finger through your folds unexpectedly. You jolted your hips away at the sudden action, a gasp slipping past your lips.

“Stay still.” He demanded lowly, glaring up at you. He slipped two fingers in with ease, curling them immediately to find your spot. He pushed his fingers in a little deeper, curling them up again once more, ripping a loud moan from deep within you.

“There you go, baby. Let me hear you.”

He continued on with his fingers working skillfully within you, bringing his lips down to your clit finally and sucking gently.

“Fuck, Sam- that feels so good.” You praised, more moans and whimpers falling from your swollen lips.

A certain flick of his tongue over your clit, sent a new wave of pleasure through you. Your hips bucked instinctively, making Sam bring his arm across your stomach to hold you still. He repeated the action, making your breath hitch, your moans hitting a new octave. He chuckled lowly against you, at the reactions he was getting from you.

“Oh, god Sam.. i-“ He kept up the same motion with his tongue, speeding it up slightly.

He matched the speed of his fingers with his tongue, settling into a rhythm that had the knot in your stomach ready to burst within minutes.

“Sammy. Shit, Sammy I’m gonna cum-“ You rushed out. He only hummed against your core, the vibration of it throwing you over the edge. He kept up the same speed through your orgasm, slowing down his movements as your body came down, but not stopping.

He pulled his mouth away, keeping his fingers inside you, working you down the rest of the way.

“You taste so good, pretty girl.” He said sweetly.

“Please let me make you feel good, Sammy.” You begged him, pushing yourself up on your elbows.

Sam pushed himself off the bed to begin pulling the rest of his clothes off.

You eyed him closely, almost drooling at the sight of his body. He was perfect.

You pulled yourself up, getting off the bed and sinking to your knees in front of Sam.

He watched you with hooded eyes, swallowing hard at the sight of you on your knees.

You placed a kiss to the swollen pink tip and Sam hissed through his teeth above you.

You went down on him further, taking whatever couldn’t fit in your mouth, in your hand.

You sucked harder, swirling your tongue around him, earning a stream of guttural moans and curses.

“Fuck- shit, Y/N-“ His hips jerked against your mouth a few times.

“As much as I would love for you to keep going, I want to be inside you.” he voice came out raspy and strained.

He pushed you back to the bed,

getting on top of you quickly.

“ Are you ready?” He searched your face for any signs of worry or uncertainty.

“Yes, I’m ready. I want you.”

Pleased with your confident answer, he lined himself up with your entrance, pushing himself in slowly. He stopped halfway in, a breathy groan escaping him.

“You feel so good around me. Holy shit, Y/N.” He rasped out. He pushed in the rest of the way, swears falling out of both of you as he bottomed out.

“You’re so big, Sam…” Your hands wrapped around his shoulders, pulling yourself up as much as you could, placing kisses to his neck.

“Please move.” You choked out.

He drew his hips back, pushing back into you with a deep thrust. He continued, slow and deep for a minute, making your hold body feel as if it was on fire with each hit to your G-spot.

Sam took your hands in his, pinning them above your head and holding himself up above you.

He stared down at you with dark, lust filled eyes, but full of another emotion you couldn’t quite read.

He picked up the speed of his hips, causing an ungodly cry to escape your lips.

“I know, baby. You take me so well.” He praised.

“So perfect, just for me.”

“Fuck, Sammy..” You moaned out his name, making him twitch inside of you.

“Say it again.” He demanded lowly, letting go of one of your hands and bringing his hand down to your throat, squeezing just the right amount.

“You’re so good, Sammy,” you repeated his name for him. It felt so perfect coming from your lips and Sam thought the same.

Sam pulled out of you and flipped you over roughly, pulling your ass up to meet his hips. He pushed it into you roughly again, causing you to let out a pornographic moan.

He set a devilish pace, grabbing your hair and pulling you back into his chest.

“Do you like it when I take you like this? When I talk to you soft, but fuck you all rough?” He cooed into your ear. The contrast in his words versus his actions, had the tingling feeling in the pit of your stomach returning quickly.

“Yes, Sam, I love it-“ You gasped as he changed his angle slightly.

“Fuck! Sammy, I’m so close.” You cried out through breathless moans and cries of pleasure.

“I’m right there, baby. Wait for me.” He pleaded, kissing your shoulder repeatedly.

He gripped your hair tighter in his fist, bringing his other hand around to circle your clit.

“Christ- Sammy, I- I can’t it’s so much-“ You shook in pleasure. It took everything in you not to push Sam’s hand away and collapse. “I’ve got you, baby. You’re right there, you got it,” he encouraged through his own gasps of pleasure.

You let go, body tensing in Sam’s arms. Your orgasm sent your vision into a blur, you were noiseless beneath him.

Sam moaned loudly, you clenching around him, sent him spiraling into his own high, filling you up to the brim.

You both gasped for air together, your body giving out and falling against the bed. Sam pulled out of you, laying down beside you.

“Come here.” He whispered, jusy loud enough for you to hear.

You moved gently into his arms, letting him hold you against his warm body tightly.

“Can I tell you something?” He asked you genuinely. You swore he almost sounded a little scared. You looked over your shoulder at him, seeing a nervous expression over his features.

“Anything,” You gave him a reassuring smile.

“I think I love you.” His eyes locked with yours as the words left his mouth. Your eyes grew wide, brain faltering momentarily at his confession.

“I… I think I love you, too.”

[kuraiandroger]

Diasomnia Relationship Headcanons

Basically what the title says, they’re my favorite dorm and I’ve projected on them a lot so I hope I’m not alone in how I see these dynamics </3 Enjoy!

 Lilia and Malleus

I see them as parent and child, even though Malleus seems to want to hide that sometimes. It’s probably because of his title and his age gap with the other children in the “family”  that maybe he feels embarrassed about Lilia doting on him, but oh well. I still see him as a child compared to Lilia (despite the fact that he literally is lol) because he seems to be a lot less present in the kids’ lives, and we’ve gotten several glimpses of his apparent emotional immaturity (Avoiding his problems, throwing “lightning tantrums”, sulking, etc). Paired with the fact that Lilia covers for him a LOT while still acknowledging these issues he has... I just can’t see them as equals lol. I only see a father and his very mildly unruly lol son. U_U It’s okay Malmal I know you’re trying your best.

Lilia and Silver

A rather similar relationship to Lilia and Malleus, to be honest. It’s just a lot more open, and I suspect that’s because Silver is sort of young and he doesn’t really have anyone else he’d rather run off with. His temperament is different than Malleus to an extent; Silver doesn’t strike me as a child with a single rebellious bone in his body, so he has no problems hanging out with and admiring his old man. I like to think Lilia had a very tender bond with both of his sons when they were infants, and some of that shows still in his relationship with Silver. They are just good ol dad and son (but really, dad, I’m fine with doing the cooking for tonight).

Lilia and Sebek

Sebek himself has called Lilia his mentor, and I really think that’s the basis of what they are, but I also think Lilia takes some of the liberty of acting like a dad to Sebek too sometimes. I believe Sebek was very present in Silver’s childhood so he is comfortable with Lilia’s authority. A good example of this was when Lilia told Sebek to use a quieter voice in Sam’s shop, much like the way a parent would scold their child lol. Sebek, too, while admittedly gullible, seems to heed Lilia’s advice with great respect, such as when he showed the other first years his secret natto ingredient that he’d heard was good from Lilia.

Malleus and Silver

Contrary to what most people think (due to Malleus’ status as Silver’s guardian), I don’t entirely see him as “Silver’s other dad.” Here’s where I start projecting lmao because I had a sibling who was many years older than me myself, so I sort of get the “older sibling who I respect because they are that much older than me but I also barely know them” vibe from these two. I am sure that Malleus took responsibility for Silver when needed, but it’s just really obvious to me that Lilia is the primary parent and Mal almost certainly looked to him for advice. I dunno, I could be completely wrong about this one, but I am just rather hung up on Lilia still viewing Malleus as his child despite the fact that he is long grown and therefore Malleus doesn’t seem to place the same priority on parenting Silver that Lilia does (which, yeah, I realize could very well be because of Malleus’ title and all). 

Some people have said it could’ve been out of respect, but I’ve also taken into account how little Silver seems to acknowledge Malleus as anything more than his liege (he didn’t even know very much about Malleus’ interest in gargoyles which....blows my mind a little lol) and really calls Lilia his father instead. There is a peculiar blend of comfort and distance between Malleus and Silver that I personally don’t entirely see as a parent-child dynamic </3. For the most part, I just see these two as distant age-gap siblings wherein the older one might’ve helped raise the younger one but was too much older than the younger sibling to really connect with them  (This could change during the Diasomnia chapter, but yeah). TL;DR: Distant older sibling Mal, as evidenced by Lilia’s much higher influence as the true “father” figure.

Malleus and Sebek

A pretty obvious lord-and-knight dynamic here lol. Malleus seems pretty indifferent to Sebek’s devotion, but Sebek still wants to impress him anyways. I’m sure Malleus just lets him do whatever because Sebek’s a little kid to him lmao

Silver and Sebek

This one! My favorite one! Their sibling-like dynamic really stands out to me because again, I have lived it lmao. I like to see them as a sibling rivalry because it’s very refreshing to see within a piece of media that also focuses on sibling characters that do get along (the Leeches, etc). These two tend to bicker, and they only hang out when they have to (such as when the whole family is together, or when they’re at their school club), and seem to have their own separate social lives despite knowing a lot about each other. I’ve noticed they also pick on each other for things the other cannot control (such as Sebek’s “annoying” voice, or Silver’s sleep disorder). As someone who has a sibling I really don’t get along with sometimes, it just hits home lol.

I’ve noticed that something else us bratty siblings will do, is tend to ignore any traits we have in common in favor of shaming the things we don’t share... Which is very much something that Sebek and Silver do to one another. In reality, I really do think they have rather similar personalities, but the fact that each one expresses it so differently causes them to fight (for example, Silver and Sebek are both very blunt but careful individuals, yet their level of enthusiasm for what they do is a source of conflict). Despite this, sibling rivalry-dynamic characters will still have moments where they get along, such as when they share an activity, like swordfighting.

I like to think that while Sebek is quite literally just Silver’s childhood friend, they have reached a level of comfort (and annoyance) with one another after years of growing up together that their dynamic manifests the way argumentative siblings do, and I love that for them.

---

SOOO uh, thank you for reading if you did! This is my first text post in a really long time, please be nice to me if you happen to disagree with any of this, it’s just headcanons! Sorry if it’s a bit wordy at times too, I like to shove as much in as I can. </3 Anywho, we’ll get a better scope when Diasomnia’s chapter releases someday, haha. 

[svpernatvralis]

NERISSA MONTEVERDE is a 537 year old cis female fae. people say they have a striking resemblance to fahriye evcen. they work as the owner of royal jelly flowers and are part of the syndicate ( fae right hand ). people say they’re really coquettish, imaginative, & meticulous, but unfortunately also fickle, manipulative, & reticent. why are they in invictus? well, they simply wish to protect their kind. 

hey, hello, hi, bonjour! s’up buttercups? ‘tis i, your friendly neighbourhood loser chrissie and i’m super duper excited to be here among you fab human beings! this is my precious bby nerissa who is honestly quite curt sometimes tbh lmao still, she’s got a good heart deep down and is pretty much what you might say away with the fairies 99.9% of the time hsjakgkjf no pun intended tehe. plot-wise i’m open to literally anything and everything so come at me with any ideas ya got! i’m always diggity down to spit ball ideas and form some dope connections so pls feel free to invade my ims or hmu on le cord and we can brainstorm until our heart’s content! if ya wanna, go ahead and light that lil grey heart up red and i’ll shimmy my butt your way for all of the good stuff. anywho, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty, shall we?

fundamentals.

name. nerissa angelique monteverde.

age. 537, but appears around 29.

d.o.b. december 17th.

gender. cisgender female.

pronouns. she / her.

orientation. pansexual.

affiliation. the syndicate.

rank. fae right hand.

job. owner of royal jelly flowers.

connections.

birth mother. enya. †

birth father. caliban. †

step-mother. nyx. †

siblings. unknown.

significant other. n/a.

child/ren. n/a.

pet/s. n/a.

proficiencies.

spoken languages. english, turkish, german, italian, french, spanish, & latin.

negative traits. brusque, calculating, distant, deceptive, & promiscuous.

positive traits. elegant, headstrong, observant, independent, & confident.

strengths. dedicated, strong-willed, direct, honest, loyal, patient, reliable, enjoys creating order, & excellent organiser.

weaknesses. inflexible, stubborn, judgemental, uncomfortable with unconventional situations, too focused on social status, finds it difficult to relax, & has difficulty expressing emotion.

appearance.

eye colour. hazel.

hair colour. brown / auburn.

height. five feet, eight inches.

weight. 59 kg.

miscellaneous.

zodiac. sagittarius.

element. fire.

house. slytherin.

meyers briggs type. estj-a.

alignment. true neutral.

enneagram. type one.

temperament. choleric.

intelligence type. interpersonal.

background.

NERISSA ANGELIQUE MONTEVERDE     —     five hundred and thirty-seven, fae, owner of royal jelly flowers, + fae right hand for the syndicate !

possible triggers   :   adultery, infertility, execution, beheading, murder, death.

tl;dr.     alrighty, where do we start with this lil spitfire? she uhhh ... has a lot of issues and is quite distant bc of it. nerissa was the product of an affair between an esteemed fae ( caliban ) and a fire faerie ( enya ). though nerissa never had the chance to meet her birth mother as her step-mother ( nyx ) banished enya shortly after she gave birth. enya’s banishment was a result of the rage nyx held toward her. in part, due to her inability to conceive a child of her own and also due to her anger for her husband’s affair. thus, nerissa grew up under the impression that her biological mother was nyx; neither of her parents divulging the truth behind her parentage. although nerissa was not biologically nyx’s daughter, nyx adored the young fae as if she were her own blood. in truth, nerissa spent more time with her ‘mother’ than with her father. in part, caliban felt the loss of his mistress even though he refused to acknowledge her part in his daughter’s birth. basically, he never had any time for nerissa and excluded her from everything. still, she remained upbeat about it, thinking that one day she'd win his love. she did not. shocker. growing up, life was mostly positive for nerissa. her father’s guards protected her, and his warlock friends aided her with her abilities and taught her the fae ways as well as those of the human beliefs. as the years passed by, nerissa grew stronger and smarter; becoming an adored figure among her fellow fae, yet, in the background, tensions rose between nyx and caliban when their family dynamic became endangered by nyx’s threat of revealing the truth behind nerissa’s heritage. in fear of their secret becoming common knowledge ( and most importantly, ariela finding out ), caliban ordered for his wife to be executed for ‘treason.’ of course, nerissa tried to protest this due to her love for the woman she believed to be her mother but her attempts to prevent her father’s ruling were futile. days later, nyx was publicly beheaded by one of caliban’s most loyal guards. this act served to place a wedge further between nerissa and her father and as the years ticked by, until his untimely demise which was when nerissa left her home behind. soon after, she joined the syndicate where she now sits as the right hand for the fae. to this day, she remains unaware of her true parentage and continues to struggle with the haunting nightmares of her childhood. so yah, nerissa had a pretty rough childhood but she's bounced back. well, about as much as you'd expect from someone who grew up feeling unwanted and unloved. really, she just always tries her best and is a perfectionist and wants to protect her kind.

random extras.

her signature scent is chanel N°5.

she’s fearless af. throwback to her upbringing, most likely.

she’s all sweet smiles and charming words until her expression turns sharp and deadly. it’s her tactic to entice then pounce, if you will.

she loves to surprise people. most assume she’s a pretty girl but oh, she loves the look of shock on their faces when she unleashes her inner bish.

in a way, her words are like her weaponry.

an angel of vengeance in a pair of designer sunglasses tbh.

owns waaay too many pairs of heels.

her signature look is her blood-red lips.

often wears suits and totally rocks them.

when it comes to whether or not she is morally decent or an extremely bad person, she is somewhere in the middle of that spectrum—she isn’t heartless but she isn’t compassionate either.

she’s v ambitious, v morally ambiguous, v self-serving and v self-involved.

she can be pretty deadly if you piss her off enough.

is truly an independent woman who don’t need no man.

loyalty means a lot to her. if you betray her trust, then she’ll freeze you out.

while she’s a major ice queen on the outside, she has the potential to melt with the right people.

may seem like she has a superiority complex and acts as if she’s better than you, but it’s just because she knows her worth and her value.

she knows her strengths and isn’t afraid to assert them.

she’s v confident. not in a cocky way, but she is definitely self-assured in her looks and abilities.

avoids violence when possible.

prefers blackmail and taking advantage of people’s pressure points.

she’s her own biggest fan tbh.

[bs-ent]

(1) Hey, I just wanna say that I just discovered your blog and I LOVE your analysis, and I love how nice you are.

[cont.] (2) It’s especially interesting for me to observe all the BTS ships BC I’m such a new ARMY… I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot of the changes and shifts in dynamics over the years that simply can’t be fully comprehended even tho I have gone back and watched all the old content? I’m just curious bc I do know that friendships change over time… we might still be close to someone but not to the same extent as before, right? And we also form stronger bonds with other ppl too… (JIKOOK COUGHS)

(3) Sorry for the long ass ask LMAO I’m really bad at expressing myself so I’m not even sure if I got my thoughts across properly haha… but anywho, thanks so much for being such an amazing part of the fandom!!! And thanks for listening to me ramble heh~

NEVER apologize for a long ask, i love rambles ; ;

you’ve expressed yourself excellently? and this is such an interesting question; i’m a run-era child so i also have quite some looking back to do and i feel like i could probably spend a few months to answer this omg;;;; but i really want to attempt this so i went on a bts research adventure and idk how useful any of it will be, but i’m just gonna –

warning, big mess ahead 

NOTE: i think i just experienced a moment of clarity when i went back and combed through this entire set of Hanryu Pia magazine interviews (among my faves, no question). it spans 2014-15, with a bunch of 1-on-1 member segments and it really refreshed their dynamics for me (makes me want to go back and edit some of my other rambles now AH). tl;dr i’ll be referencing it a lot and it’s a good read!

back on track with a bit of background – if i could start with a very generalized way to look at their earlier dynamics (before going into how their relationships shifted), i want to address that although the members formed friendships based on interests/personality/etc., i feel like their bonds were also initially pretty affected by where they fell into certain ‘categories’/spectrums, like these:

earliest to join bts ��> latest to join

hyung-line vs. maknae-line (which is very close to #1)

vocal-line vs. rap-line vs. dance-line

music-line vs. performance-line (very close to #2 and #1)

etc. etc.

…. you’re probably like, this is common sense LOL but i guess i didn’t really think about how much they had to live in these labels, how jin + jungkook, for example, were vocal-line and had a similar training schedule, and as a result got closer by hanging out after classes together. but in a broader sense the labels became identities, and also affected the way they viewed each other; like for hyung-ln as long-time trainees, they likely felt more distant from maknae-ln, who we know hadn’t experienced the same hardships and didn’t handle as much of the responsibility. jin was out there making sure everyone was alive, namjoon and yoongi were in charge of discipline and musical drive, yoonseok were taking turns accompanying each other to the hospital… i think they really felt that gap in experience up through debut, because in 2013 interviews sugamon especially were always talking about how angry/tired they were during trainee limbo. honestly i’m not sure how much of that was to market a “hard”/“hiphop” image, but they also weren’t lying about those difficulties? and there seems to be a communication gap between hyung-ln and maknae-ln as well (all ‘jin being childish’ aside). for ex., in one of the Hanryu Pia 2015 interviews, hoseok and namjoon were paired up to talk and joon admitted the maknae-ln couldn’t sense his bad moods the way the hyung-ln could. extra interesting because age seems to trump training time here –– even though jungkook and jin joined around the same time, jk was not on the same wavelength.

i guess my conclusion from this is a lot of member relationships that may have shifted started from there, and that maybe in a generalized way, some members who got closer were able to like, overcome whatever initial differences they had, including age gap, talent specialties, relationship history?

if we go into specific relationships – i apologize if any of these were already on your mind btw – i think maybe namjin had somewhat of a rocky(?) start, since they referred to each other as complete opposites and didn’t understand how the other person worked, but they clearly got closer after talking with one another and were mature enough to overcome their differences. and now they’re married! :) i also think jinmin have gotten much closer – partially based off of how jin apparently used to nitpick at them a lot like a mom lmao and jimin wasn’t a fan of it, but now jimin’s become jin’s portable laughing track and jin adores him for it and throws cheesy pick-up lines at him probably every day, so there’s that too! i’m mentioning jin a lot, but since jin didn’t start dorming with everyone until later i think it’s understandable that he took some time to get closer with the younger members.

(EDIT: i wanna mention minjoon too, who have always been kinda close bc they relate to each other about self-esteem/motivation issues, but i think they’ve probably gotten closer? they seem to talk to each other about their troubles often and that kind of intimacy builds over time)

i think some of our conceptions of who was close with who also comes from how much we knew about them debut era vs. now –– like imo jikook were always pretty close (though i agree, definitely closer now), but we just didn’t see it as much early on and it’s taken some time for their dynamics to shine through. same thing for sope, and vmon and taejin too, and hey, taejin got an onscreen indirect kiss and sope’s bringing hwaggae tango to dancing with the stars, so i’m patiently waiting for bighit to up the game @ bts_twt call me for details 

(urgh im neglecting a lot of relationships but maybe i can revisit this later… hopefully this answered your question somewhat sajdfkl)