#anywho thats the biggest issue right now

[shaykai]

I'm figuring out who gets to marry who

Dragon Age Inquisition except all four of them live and Cassandra loses her mind trying to figure out how the four of them are connected (spoilers: they don't even know eachother)

[rosealine-bishop]

Greaseball Headcanons

Okay so, @marastriker and I were talking last night about some GB headcanons. Not all were happy. But Im of the strong belief that no one starts out being the way they are and that their circumstances change and make them the way they are. So, playing off of that, here are some headcanons I've got about GB. (Some HCs may be familiar because they're also on this post here since they and I also were talking about other things and got to talking about potential kids and how GB & Dinah + Electra & CB would be as parents)

Anywho, I've talked about the background long enough, let's get to the main post.

(Might make this a two parter because it genuinely gets so so long)

(also @sweet-dining-car this is the post I mentioned)

TW: abuse, alcoholism, death, violence

So, for starters, GB wasn't always the way he is now. (Even now he actually deflects and has created this persona of a meathead who can be a total dick, but genuinely he's just a soft and nice guy at heart) Back when he was a kid, he actually was the cutest and sweetest kid out there. He was always so nice to all the other trains, and acting as a protector for all of the other trainlets (even if he was the runt of the litter. He just wanted to be like his favorite super hero: Captain America)

He would always be seen trailing Poppa or getting the most upset and doing his best to cheer up Poppa whenever he was having a bad day or looked even the slightest bit upset.

On that same note, Momma to him was like a second mother and both her and Poppa were the perfect relationship. (yes in my HCs Momma and Poppa exist together and same for the Hip Hoppers and the Rockies)

Unfortunately, at home, it wasn't as good as he could imagine it was in the train yard. At home, his dad was the biggest homophobic and toxic masculine guy you can image. A raging alcoholic with gigantic anger issues. He would constantly beat GBs mom and sometimes GB too.

His dad believed that BECAUSE he was the runt, that constant abuse would make him stronger. GB used to be the biggest cry baby but through years and years of abuse, would learn to hide it and "be a man"

His mother would sneak in some vinyls she managed to get for GB of Elvis or Frank Sinatra or anyone else she could find and she would help him hide everything when his dad would get home from work.

GB has always had a soft spot for dining cars because his mom worked close by them and he would sometimes visit her at work when he was way younger.

GB isnt actually straight. He's bi but represses it and hides behind the toxic masculinity because he made the mistake of telling his dad when his dad had a good week and he was almost beaten within the edge of his life. (and since that day, the abuse towards him was actually way worse)

GB would hide any of the abuse behind clothing and sunglasses and a cool guy persona. He would use it to deflect and pretend that nothing was wrong at home.

Eventually when GBs parents split (which was close to him turning 18), his dad managed to convince the court that his mom was unfit to be a parent. (Him and his mom talked about it before and agreed that in the end if the court asks GB his opinion on where he wants to live, he would choose his dad and then go find her when he turns 18. Because that way it would be best for the two of them)

So, at 18 he left without telling anyone and went to go find his mom. However, he never did and in fact found out about the fate of his mom from a phone call, telling him that she was found beaten to death. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what had happened.

GB actually blames himself for his mother's death, but like a good son, uses whatever money he had earned to give his mom a proper burial.

When he has to go back to get her personal belongings, he takes all the photos and rips his dad out of all of them and hangs them around his small one bedroom apartment. He even managed to find some old recordings of his mom singing and some old home videos. (he cherishes those and will play them when he's sad so that he never forgets his mom. and in a way he always has a part of her with him)

He actually is really good at metal working (thank you mara for this headcanon) so he uses his skills to make his necklace from one of his mom's old earrings so she's always with him and in a way that necklace becomes his lucky necklace in all his early races.

Speaking of races, his first race outfit wasn't the best quality at all. He didn't have much so he created the whole outfit from scratch and he actually used to hide his face no matter what, behind a poorly made train helmet, to hide from the risk of his dad finding him.

The longer he was away from that situation, the more he actually would hide behind the early version of the persona that he has now. He's always idolized Elvis and he holds a spot close to his heart for the singer, that he started slowly changing his appearance to look more like Elvis.

He started working out so he would never be seen as weak ever again.

Eventually, he made a big enough name for himself that he would get interviews on TV every now and then and that's how his dad found out about him still being alive. At first it didn't really click in his dad's head but the moment GB started speaking, his dad knew exactly that that was his son. (Yes he sounded more like Elvis but a father never forgets his son's voice)

So, his dad, as an anonymous donor, asked a young CB to crash GB in the next race. CB, not one down to turn down money did just that. And yes, that whole interaction had put GB out of many races and caused him to pawn off any and all belongings to pay for his hospital bills because any small sponsor he had managed to get dropped him.

(No one wants damaged goods)

and while GB is back to normal, he every now and then when he's super stressed, will feel his bones aching, like a phantom injury and he will start limping slightly because he never fully healed from that.

But now that he knew about CB would go to him and ask him to throw races in his favor, sometimes paying in sexual favors, sometimes in actual money. Because otherwise, he felt like he could never be at 100% and would always lose any race after his accident.

He needed the sponsors and money so he would do anything to get back into the top contenders.

He has major daddy issues that he and Dinah have discussed before. She's probably the only one who knows about GBs true past (aside from Pearl and Poppa and Momma)

Because of his trauma, he actually hates hearing even the word "daddy" so one night when CB accidentally lets it slip during one of their sexual encounters, GB slaps him. Thats the only time GB would actually hit anyone.

On that note, GB actually wont ever truly hurt anyone. For all he knew, Rusty actually did crash and all the damage was from that crash. He had no idea the Diesels roughed him up.

But one night when him and Rusty talk and he finds out about what actually happens, Electra has to get his components (namely Krupp and Killerwatt) to hold him back as GB unleashes hell and yells at the diesels. Like there is pure murder in his eyes.

Yes, sometimes GB hurts other trains during races but after every race they get an anonymous donor paying for all the repairs and a letter along with it with a long apology and flowers. (Dinah helps him spell check it)

GB has only cried twice since he was a child. Once when he found out his mother died (and thats the only time he would turn to alcohol. Otherwise he swears off of it completely) and second when he found out Dinah was pregnant.

GB is 100% terrified of thunderstorms because it reminds himself of his old living situation. Often times you can find him hiding in the closet or under the bed, pillows over his ears and under many layers of blankets.

He would actually be one to collect Squishmallows and other stuffed animals because he never got to as a kid. But whenever he gets any stuffed animal, Dinah names them. However, when his kids are born, he gets matching squishmallows with Norma Jean and Presely and names them after his kids. (Thats probably the only time he gets to name any stuffed animal)

GB actually really really loves Dinah. On the yard he may be this dick towards her but the moment he gets home he apologizes to Dinah profusely and will do anything she wants to make up for it.

He would NEVER do anything to hurt her and when she's pregnant will go above and beyond to be there for her. He even went to Dustin to ask for advice and tried to ask him to keep the fact that Dinah was pregnant under wraps (unfortunately, Dustin, being the sweetie that he is, cannot keep it under wraps and eventually the whole yard knows. Poppa actually gives him some of the best fatherly advice.)

When he finds out that Dinah is pregnant, however, he has multiple night terrors about his childhood. He becomes extremely scared that he'd be like his dad and both Dinah and Poppa reassure him that he's nothing like his dad. That in fact, he has more of his mom in him than he realizes. (Dinah even says he looks more like his mom than his dad, even though GB doesnt see it. She's also not one to admit that she actually knows that its true. She's seen a few ripped up pictures in the trash of his dad back when GB and her first started dating.)

Dinah is actually the one who helps GB compile all of the pictures of GB and his mom into a photo album. This photo album eventually has pictures of Dinah and GB and then Dinah, Norma Jean and GB and then Dinah, Norma Jean, GB and Presely. So its just one big happy book about everything right in his life.

One day, he even finds Norma Jean decorating it and Norma Jean, being the little kid she is is worried that her dad was going to be mad because it looks like he had a bad day at the yard and she just touched something that he cherished, even if she was trying to make it pretty, but GB actually tears up at it because its the cutest thing he's seen and now that book is just that much more special to him. He actually gets the whole family to do hand prints on the back and then sign their name underneath (with an addition of him writing "One Big Happy Family" underneath it all)

_________________________________________________________

Okay okay this has to be it for this post because there are just so many more headcanons and I wanted to end it on a happier note. So if anyone wants to know more I'll create a part two but for now this is what we've got because good god is it long.

[svtmatokis]

Maid of Honor Part 5

Hi!! I am soooo sorry I’ve been MIA as of late, if you guys saw my last post, I was having post length restrictions cause of the app and I didn’t have the laptop all last week (plus I hit my limit on life yesterday and had to take a mental breather...thank you @hypergalaxy for keeping my sane <3) 

Anywho...I hope you guys enjoy this next part and as always, feel free to request or just pop by to say hi :)

Parts: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 5.2

Genre: ANGST - I cried writing this

Pairing: Wonwoo x Reader

Words: 4314

Yerin walked up to the group from her table with a big grin on her face.  “Did you decide to ditch your friend and have drinks with us? We have a table over there, if you want to join us.” A thought struck her, “Or maybe we could move here, I’d love to get to know your friends.”

Wonwoo chuckled nervously as the group turned to look at him everyone but Mingyu; who was glaring a hole into the side of his head, wondered who the girl was. “Ah, ani...she wasn’t feeling well and went home after dinner. So I decided to meet my friends for a quick drink before going home.”

Ye-rin pouted and Mingyu’s glare on Wonwoo intensified. He knew the whole history between the two and how Ye-rin was one of the few girls who Wonwoo actually liked but the only issue was that Ye-rin couldn’t stay with one guy. Wonwoo had caught her on multiple occasions with other men which was why he never made it official with her but she always called him to tell him that she missed him and wished that they had become more than friends before he left.

“You should’ve caught up with us then if that was the case. We would’ve waited for you. I’ll go get my friends and we’ll pull up some chairs okay?” She said excitedly without even asking the rest of the group if it was okay to join them or not.

Jihoon’s nose scrunched as he looked between Ye-rin and Wonwoo and knew instantly something was up. Pushing his chair back, he stood up announcing his departure.

“Already? You only had one drink!” Soonyoung whined not ready for Jihoon to leave yet.

“Does that mean you’re going back to your place tonight?” Chan asked.

“Ani, I’m going back to Y/N’s. I forgot that she and I have an early morning tomorrow.” He said the last part while making eye contact with Wonwoo before shooting Seungcheol a pointed look, “And did you forget that you volunteered to drive”

A grin appeared on Seungcheol’s face as he processed Jihoon’s words, “That’s right...it’s tomorrow.”

“What’s tomorrow?” Seungkwan asked.

“Biggest and last hike of the year before season ends” Seungcheol stated getting up, “I should get going too. Tell Y/N I’ll come get you guys at 5”

Jihoon nodded his head, “If Joshua’s already there, that means you just need to get Jisoo. I’ll see you guys later” he waved to the group and walked out not before glancing at Wonwoo and Ye-rin who was coming back.

Wonwoo stared at Jihoon’s figure as he disappeared, debating whether to follow him or not. Choosing the first option, he got up to follow Jihoon but was pulled in the opposite direction towards the back exit by Mingyu. Leaving everyone confused.

“What the fuck happened tonight?” He asked leaning against the wall in the alley way behind the lounge, “And what did Ye-rin mean by ditch your friend? You ditched Y/N?”

“No! you know I would never do that!” Wonwoo argued and Mingyu looked at him, “You know how much I like her. She actually said she wasn’t feeling well. I offered to take her home but she left in a rush….” Wonwoo explained as Mingyu looked down at his phone, reading a text from Hye-mi.

His blood boiled reading the paragraph she sent him about what you told her and Joshua that night. IWhen he read the last part everything clicked in his head and he let out a roaring laugh,

Instead of saying anything, he showed him the text message and Wonwoo’s heart dropped as he read the text message.

“She saw…” he muttered

“Ye-rin fucking kissed you?” Mingyu growled, “What happened to, I’m done with her?”

“I am done with her! I didn’t think Y/N saw…” Wonwoo said looking down at his hands as he balled them into fists and suddenly something didn’t click.

“Wait a minute, why are you defending Y/N? I thought we were best friends, why are you taking her side!?” He growled, this whole entire time instead of asking what happened, Mingyu was getting angry at him for what he assumed and  read in the text message.

“Because, Y/N doesn’t deserve to go through the shit she went through again.” Mingyu let out a frustrated breath, “I’m going to tell you this once and once only because I know that you actually care about her.  Y/N has been cheated on so many times,  that up until you, she gave up on love. THATS the reason why she doesn’t date. She’s been screwed over so many times that she feels the only thing she has for her is her work.”

Wonwoo looked at the ground, his whole body felt numb in defeat and it wasn’t from the alcohol. Now he understood why you left in a hurry.

“Don’t try to talk to her right away. She’s needs to calm down and unfortunately…” he paused and cursed, “shit Jihoon.”

Wonwoo turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

“What about Jihoon?” Wonwoo asked as Mingyu shook his head.

“Jihoon isn’t going to let you talk to her” Mingyu stated, “knowing that Hye-mi and Joshua are at her place is one thing. But when he finds out that the reason she’s upset is because of you… he isn’t even going to let you in anywhere near her.”

The history behind you and Jihoon was interesting cause the two of you weren’t best friends but had a mutual understanding with one another. Jihoon had actually witnessed one of your bad dates where the guy spilt red wine all over your dress for some stupid reason and proceeded to make comments about your weight before Jihoon came over and proceeded to shoot the guy down with his blunt comments on how he should treat women before sending him home with a black eye. Well, that’s the story Mingyu and all your friends knew about anyways.

Since then, Jihoon became protective over you and the rest of the girls though he had a soft spot for you since you let him stay at your apartment.

“I need to go…” Wonwoo said as Mingyu shook his head.

“Not a good idea, Jihoon isn’t going to let you in” Mingyu stated.

“I can only try right?” Wonwoo asked as the two walked back into the lounge and noted that Ye-rins group was now sitting at the big table with the remainder of the guys.

Jeonghan was the first to notice the two and quickly walked over to them,  a glare evident on his face.

“Jeon Wonwoo, are you fucking kidding me? You said you and Y/N had a date tonight and now a girl is suddenly showing up claiming she’s your girlfriend….” Jeonghan rambled as Mingyu and Wonwoo shared a look.

“Shit” wonwoo muttered. This was getting messier than he wanted it to be.

“I. Need. To. Go.” He said walking back to the table only to be met with uneasy looks and glare from the guys while Ye-Rin called Wonwoo over. Wonwoo knew he was in trouble but his mind was only on talking to you which set it in autopilot.

“I’ll see you guys next time. I have to go deal with something…” Wonwoo said hurriedly as he grabbed his jacket and left the lounge, making a beeline for your apartment.

Ye-rin looked at Wonwoo as he exited the lounge, a look of confusion and pout on his face.

Mingyu who was trying to calm Jeonghan down watched Wonwoo practically run out the door and smiled to himself but couldn’t help but feel worried for his friend.

“She’s a snake.” Mingyu said to Jeonghan and explained who Ye-rin was and where Wonwoo was headed.

“He’s going to have to go through Joshua” Jeonghan stated.

“He’s going to have to go through Jihoon…” Mingyu added as Jeonghan bowed his head in a silent prayer.

Wonwoo managed to get to your apartment within fifteen minutes and the first thing he did was ring your door bell.

He wasn’t surprised to see Jihoon answer the door with a blank look on his face before he proceeded to slam the door in his face.

“Oh come on Jihoon” Wonwoo cried ringing the doorbell again.

“She’s sleeping. We have to wake up in five hours. Go back to the girl at the bar.” the voice through the door said in a final tone and things went quiet.

Wonwoo could only sigh as he leaned on the door in defeat. Were you that special to his friends that they would do anything they could to protect you? Nothing made sense to him. He thought things were going well and had been genuinely concerned when you said you weren’t feeling well.

He knew he was stupid when he decided to play off the kiss on the cheek. Why had he even allowed Ye-rin to kiss his cheek anyways? Wonwoo felt disgusted.He wanted to talk to you but he knew how Jihoon could be when he got fed-up. Last time, Mingyu ended up with a black eye.

From the other side, Jihoon watched his friend through the peephole before letting out a deep sigh.

”I trusted him.” He muttered shaking his head.

“It’s probably a misunderstanding.” Joshua tried to reason from behind him.

Jihoon turned to look at your sleeping figure wrapped in a blanket with your head on Joshua’s lap, the marking of tears proved as evidence that you cried hard in that short time.

Letting out another sigh, Jihoon looked at Hye-mi who had just gotten off the phone with Mingyu. The two made eye contact and nodded and looked at you.

“Take care of her.” She whispered said to Joshua and Jihoon, “Gyu and I will take care of Wonwoo.”

Joshua and Jihoon nodded at her before the three said their farewells.

Wonwoo, who was still leaning on your door, almost fell backwards when it opened and that little piece of hope inside him bubbled that Jihoon changed his mind or even Joshua talking to Jihoon to change his mind.

He couldn’t help but feel aa bit disappointed when Hye-mi stepped out looking at him with a look of empathy.

“Hye-mi-“ Wonwoo stood up as Hye-mi shook her head.

“Can you at least let me see her?” He tried.

“She cried herself to sleep.” Hye-mi stated which didn’t make Wonwoo feel any better.  “Let her rest this weekend and maybe try to talk to her next week.” She advised, “Plus Jihoon and Joshua are with her now, she’ll be fine in no time.”

Wonwoo didn’t like that it was Jihoon and Joshua taking care of you instead of him. He didn’t like that he was the cause of your pain but Hye-mi was right. If you weren’t ready to talk to him, then you would talk to him when you were ready.

Wonwoo only let out a sad sigh making Hye-mi give him a short hug.

“Come on, Mingyu’s downstairs. We’ll give you a ride home.”

Nodding his head solemnly, Wonwoo followed Hye-mi. Not before looking back at your door one last time.

The next day, Wonwoo, Jeonghan, Dino, Hye-mi, Minghao, Jennie and Mingyu were having lunch.  He had not heard from you, Jihoon or Joshua for that matter and he thought that for now it was for the best.

Mingyu, with the help of Hye-mi explained to him last night certain traits of yours and found out that once you cleared your head, you were fine. He’d let you sort your thoughts out and then try to talk to you again later.

“Do you know where Y/N and them are now?” Dino asked Hye-mi who was looking at the photos you were sending her from your hike with Jisoo and the boys.

“From her last picture, it looks like they’re almost at the peak? Here hun, this is for you.” She showed Mingyu the photo before showing the group of Seungcheol holding Jihoon off a cliff which was clearly a high rock with Joshua going ‘O-M-G’ under it.

“Now all he has to do is let go” Mingyu stated taking a bite of his breakfast.

Wonwoo looked through the photos you were sending to Hye-mi and it looked like you were having a lot of fun. There were photos of you and Jisoo posing, selfies of you and the various others. He laughed at the one where you were posing in front of a rock and Joshua was using your two pigtails behind you as a moustache.

As lunch progressed, he started getting a better feeling that things were going to be better once you got back. Everyone was giving him advice in regards of what to do with you. After hearing him out at. Mingyu’s place the night before, most of them agreed to help him out while others decided to stay out of it out of respect for you.

After lunch, everyone decided to spend the day at Mingyu and Hye-mis and let those who weren’t present know so they could come if they wanted to.

Towards the late afternoon, Vernon and Hye-mi’s phone rang at the same time, both saying Joshua or Jisoo’s name.

Wonwoo felt an uneasy feeling come over him as he watched both of their faces pale and Hye-mi’s phone drop from her hand before she crumbled on the floor with silent tears shocking everyone around her as Vernon just held his phone to his ear but it was clear he was no longer listening to what Joshua was saying over the line.

”NOOOO!” Hye-mi cried making everyone crowd around her.

Mingyu who was the first to his fiancé picked up her phone and handed it to Wonwoo while he consoled his fiancé, all the while wondering what was going on.

“Jisoo?” He said into the receiver but all he could hear was her screaming and crying.

“JISOO!” He yelled and he heard Joshua mumbling to Vernon on the other side.

“What’s happening?” Jeonghan asked swiping the phone away from Vernon.

“Joshua, what the heck is going on?” He cried frustrated into the phone.

Jeonghan’s face dropped as Joshua explained to him the best he could what had happened without losing it.

Wonwoo looked at Jeonghan, Hye-mi’s phone still in his hand.

“Hello?” A panicked voice was now heard through he line making Wonwoo respond instantly.

“Hyung?” Wonwoo said into the receiver though all he could hear was Jisoo crying in the background.

“Wonwoo?” Seungcheol said from the other side.

“Neh. What’s going on? Hye-mi, Vernon and Jeonghan have all gone mute.” Wonwoo said as he heard Seungcheol swallow hard. Putting the phone on speaker, everyone crowded around to listen.

“Y/N and Jihoon got into an accident” Seungcheol stated. “They’re being airlifted to the hospital… J-Joshua went with them.  Jisoo and I are on our way now. You guys have to meet us there.”

Wonwoo had no idea how many speed limits he broke to get to the hospital but all he knew was that you were hurt and he needed to be there regardless if you talking to him or not. H

When he and the rest of the group walked into the waiting room, Seungcheol and Jisoo were sitting on the chairs, Seungcheol comforting a crying Jisoo while Joshua spoke with the nurses.

“Hyung”. Mingyu said as they approached.

Seungcheol looked up at him with tears streaming down his face.

“What happened?” Jeonghan asked the question on everyone’s minds. The girls huddled together, comforting one another while the boys surrounded them waiting for Seungcheol’s response.

“S-She lost her footing on our way down...Jihoon was the closest to her and was able to hold her but wasn’t enough to steady her. They both rolled down a few meters but the ground they were on was unstable...Jihoon tried…” Seungcheol’s voice was about to break and everyone knew it.

”Jihoon tried to move her to the side where the ground was more stable but he lost his grip and..” gasps were heard around the group as the girls hugged each other closer crying for their friend.

“Where are they now?” Jeonghan asked.

“Y/N’s undergoing emergency surgery and I was just notified that Jihoon’s surgery is over and that he’s being moved to a room now..” Joshua said walking up to the group, his eyes just as red but he had to compose himself.

He had been here the whole time since you and Jihoon arrived. He took it upon himself to sort out the necessary paperwork and told the doctors that they had to do whatever it took to save you and Jihoon. He saw the whole thing from where you slipped to the point where Jihoon unintentionally lost his grip. His hand slipped from your wrist and you had fallen a few meters. Joshua had a hard time erasing the look on Jihoon’s face and knew his friend would be blame himself if you didn’t make it.

Everyone sat in the waiting room, waiting for more news on you as some people went to see Jihoon in his room. Joshua was making the necessary calls to work explaining the situation as well as contacting your parents.

Wonwoo sat numbly in the chair, the girls had gone for a walk, deciding to stick together leaving him, Vernon, Seungcheol, Mingyu, Joshua and Jeonghan sitting in silence. You had to be okay. Things couldn’t end the way they did, he had to tell you that everything was a misunderstanding and that you were the person he cared for.

A few hours later, a doctor walked out in his scrubs and Wonwoo instantly knew it was your doctor.

“Are you here for Y/N?” He asked as the boys nodded .

“How is she?” Wonwoo asked being the first to stand.

The doctor sighed,  “She has three broken ribs, a bit of internal bleeding, a broken arm and leg that we’ve realigned and some head trauma. Her body has gone through a lot over these last few hours, especially from the hike so its up to her on when she wakes up. We’ve moved her to the ICU, one person can stay overnight with her. Just let the nurse know who so she’s can give them a pass.” He bowed to the group before taking his leave.

A few minutes later, everyone else, including Jihoon was notified of your status. Jihoon couldn’t hold in his sobs when Joshua told him of your condition and everyone’s heart broke. Wonwoo looked at Jihoon who was being comforted by Minghao and Jun before stepping out and making his way to your room where Mingyu and Hye-mi were.

He peeked into your room and his heart broke at the sight of you. You looked so fragile and broken with all the bandages wrapped around various parts of your body including your head.

Hesitantly, he took a seat next to your bed and gently took your small hand in his. It felt so cold compared to what he was used to. He looked back at the last few weeks, including the week you spent on Jeju with everyone and thought about how lively you were compared to yesterday and it was all his fault. Joshua had told him earlier on that you were initially going to invite him on the hike too but decided not to after the whole Ye-rin situation and now like Jihoon he blamed himself.

“She’ll be okay” Hye-mi said, “Y/N’s a fighter. She’ll be good as new in a few weeks.”

Wonwoo could only look at her with uncertainty but he hoped Hye-mi was right.

Three days passed and you had yet to wake up which worried the group but was constantly reassured by the staff at the hospital that your body was just healing and resting itself and that you would wake up when you were ready.

Joshua and Hye-mi alternated on staying with you over night while Wonwoo visited everyday and the rest of the group came when they could. Jihoon had finally been allowed to leave his hospital bed and was always at your side in a wheelchair. He suffered a deep cut on his head and had a broken wrist but that was about it for him. Though he acknowledged Wonwoo’s presence, he refused to say a word.

The two would sit in silence on either side of your bed. Every time Wonwoo tried to explain himself to Jihoon, he would just pretend he didn’t hear anything and continue whatever he was doing on his phone.

Joshua had taken full control of your workload which to his delight was light since your major project had finished the week before. The company was notified and was shocked to hear about the accident from Joshua. A few department managers that you were close with had come to visit, bringing various gifts from flowers to chocolates and get well soon cards. They advised Joshua that if he needed to take time off for whatever reason to let them know and that they’d take care of everything.

The girls took care of the things at your apartment, like tidying up and watering the plants and going as far as to resetting your whole house and restocking your fridge.

It was on day six that you woke up. Hye-mi and the girls were talking about her upcoming wedding when she expressed her worry about you not being able to make it and that was when your voice shocked everyone.

“Don’t worry Mi, I’ll make sure I’m good for your bachelorette” your voice was weak and dry but the fact that you were actually awake made all the girls cry tears of happiness. You were enveloped in gentle but firm hugs from each and everyone of them before Jisoo and Lisa left to get Jihoon who was undergoing some testing in his room.

You later found out that you were going to be stuck at the hospital for at least two weeks while your body healed much to your dismay.  After touching base with Joshua and the company who said that if you tried to contact them while you were healing that you’d be fired, you had forgotten what doing nothing felt like.

Jihoon was stuck in the hospital for a while because of a few broken bones was in a wheel chair by your bed side everyday keeping you company and apologizing.

One day, Wonwoo had gotten off work a bit earlier than usual and decided to try to talk to you. It had been a week since you woke up and you were progressing just fine and if nothing happened in the next week, you were good to go home.

Wonwoo and most of the group came to visit you and Jihoon after work almost everyday and they were all happy to see that you were healing just fine.

Hye-mi was especially excited to hear that you would be fine for the wedding in a few months.

Wonwoo couldn’t help but feel a part of him break everytime  you addressed him formally. Ever since your failed date and the accident, it was as if you had become strangers. You never spoke informally to him and would only answer questions he asked but never initiated conversation. He wanted to talk to you and explain the whole thing but there was one thing that got in the way. Jihoon.

After picking up a few snacks, he made his way to your hospital room hoping Jihoon wasn’t in there.

The relationship between the two had not improved at all and the two had yet to say a word to each other. Wonwoo couldn’t for the life of him figure out why Jihoon was so adamant on the silent treatment but upon opening your door, he heard a conversation between you and Jihoon that made his eyes widen and everything click in his head.

Jihoon sat next to your bed in a wheelchair like he always did. He would get up to stand once in a while with a crutch or sit on your bed, but for the most part, he stayed in the chair where he felt like he belonged.

“I’m so sorry..” Jihoon apologized for what it seemed like the tenth time that day.

“I told you Jihoon. The accident wasn’t your fault, I would have  fallen regardless if you were there or not.” You said calmly. You felt bad that Jihoon was blaming himself for the whole ordeal, it was your fault that you got lost in your thoughts about your situation with Wonwoo and landed you and Jihoon in the hospital for it.  

“No Y/N. Not that” Jihoon said almost exasperatedly, “I’m sorry about the situation with Wonwoo, if I didn’t tell you to go on that date with him, then you wouldn’t have gotten your heart hurt again. I wouldn’t have to see that look on your face….”

You let out a small breath, your chest hurting slightly as you inhaled again. “You know it wasn’t because of that….I told you, I’m used to it Jihoon. I have you, Joshua, the others…-“

“How can you say that to the person that hurt you last Y/N? How can you be so calm but even to this day I’m still living with the guilt-“ Jihoon started.

“I forgave you a long time ago Jihoon…” you stated sternly but Jihoon kept going.

“Then why can’t things be normal again? Why can’t they go back? I made a mistake Y/N, I promised you that I would protect you but I…”

“Jihoon” you leaned forward to hold his arm

“Y/N, how can you forgive and be close friends with the last person who cheated on you in your own apartment while you and Joshua Hyung went on a business trip?!” Jihoon broke.

:OOOOOOOO.

[lillianwrites]

Baby it's you and Me

Genre: Fluff and angst.

Words: 1,865

an/ Hi anon, i know this isnt exactly what you wirded,but i hope its still enjoyable! Sorry it took so long! I went on hiatus on the day i was gonna post it because of the drama, anywho, enjoy!

_________________________________________

Dan had a serious problem, the kind of problem that kept you up and night, stressing over the solution, if there even was one. He and Hades had once been a thing, the god of the underworld had been sweet and understanding. He allowed Dan to share his opinions, and Dan had quickly climbed the chain, soon becoming Hades partner in the underworld, making his own calls, and deciding the important issues of the Underworld. However, like all couples, they soon found their issues, and after a thousand years of arguing, they had decided to call it quits. Dan had decided soon after their split, to head down to earth to get away for awhile. He had spoken to Thea, and had her permission to serve the underworld from a small flat in the London city. With the say so from the goddess, he moved his belongings to the flat, and began his life on earth for a short time.

Now, going to Earth wasn’t the issue. The move had gone well, and all of his neighbors were kind people, offering to help him carry stuff up, and bringing him small gifts to make his flat seem more homely, as he had told him he moved into London for a fresh start, a new beginning. He took shape as a tall man, reaching 6’3, who had brown eyes, a round face, and curls of brown hair, which he decided to leave curly. The problem, that he had encountered on the fifteenth day of being on earth, was a tall man, only about an inch shorter than Daniel himself. He had bright blue eyes, with small pieces of yellow and green mixing around the center, near his pupils, and his hair was dark, with lighter roots, giving the impression he dyed it.

It had started when Dan had decided that he was going to head to Starbucks. He had recently fallen in love with their coffee, and he was ashamed to admit he continued to go there every morning at 11:00am, always trying something new. He usually sat and drank his coffee while writing, figuring out some of the work needed for the Underworld, writing names that were to be going, and who were to be sent to purgatory. He had been sitting down, when his name had been called. He had gotten up, heading to the counter and grabbing his caramel macchiato, and went to head back to his table, when someone had been walked straight into him, causing him to drop his (thankfully cold) drink, all over himself.

His face instantly melted into a glare, angry at how someone could possibly not see him. He was cold now, and a crowd had gathered around, all faces holding amusement, that is, until Dan looked up and began to glare at them. When everyone had turned around and continued on with their coffees and reports,Dan looked back to who had ran into, only to stop when he was met with the man spewing apologizes as soon as Dan was looking at him.

“I’m so sorry, im literally the clumsiest person ever!”

“Honestly i’m a danger to society!”
“Good job Phil honestly.”

And even though his new jumper was stained, and probably ruined, he just couldn't stay mad at the pretty eyed male, whose lips were in a perfect pout, and was ducking his head in shame. “Um, its fine.” Dan said curtly, sighing, when the man ‘Phil’ he thought, flushed a bright red, seeming to try making himself smaller. “I truly am sorry, i’m just awfully clumsy.” Phil explained. Dan honestly just couldn't be rude to this man, he was far too adorable in his pokemon shirt. Something Dan had quickly became obsessed with on his third day on earth. Dan had smiled at the human. And had reassured him it was fine, and if Phil slipped in his phone number to “pay for his dry cleaning” then Daniel most definitely did not accept it and call him later, to accept that offer. A friendship grew as they continued to meet, and soon, it was no longer a friendship, but an relationship.

The biggest problem, however, came on his second year on Earth. Phil had been mentioning marriage, and Dan was so happy. The question hadn’t been asked yet, but they both knew the answer.Dan had been considering talking to Thea about how this was to work, about what happened considering Phil wasn’t immortal. He knew Phil would stay with him, become an immortal, but it was all up to Thea. He truly believed she would say yes but he had to make sure.

Dan shook his head as he walked into their flat. The warm smell of his boyfriend greeted him, and he let his thoughts slip away as he was greeted with the familiar decorations that phil had insisted were perfect them. The flat was unusually quiet, but Phil had texted him just an hour before saying he was going to be filming, so Dan wasn’t too worried. Phil made Youtube videos for a living, and while Dan didn’t understand it exactly, Phil loved it, and it paid well, so he wasn’t going to complain.

He began to head up the stairs to the office, were he assumed Phil was going to be filming. The stairs creaked as he walked upon them, and soon enough he was outside the office, however he paused when he heard two laughs. Phil had always told him about collabs before they happened, so he knew that's not what was happening, so Dan was very confused. He continued to listen for a second before sighing.

Shrugging off the noise, he knocked quickly before stepping in, not noticing what was happening for a moment, before he saw the scene before him. His boyfriend, Phil Lester, making out with some random male, not knowing the man, he definitely wasn’t one of the youtubers Phil had shown him. They were on their sofa bed, Phils hands in the guys blonde hair, and the mans hands far too close to Phils ass for him to be comfortable at the moment. Dan couldn't describe what he was feeling at the moment if someone handed him a book of words scripted perfectly for this situation. He was sad, but he could feel anger pooling on him as they continued to kiss, making disgusting sounds as they did. Sadness and anger, but there was something there he just couldn't put a finger on, perhaps because he's a god and had never felt it before. Deciding he couldn’t just watch anymore, he coughed loudly, preparing himself for what was to happen.

His boyfriends eyes flew open, blue meeting brown. He couldn’t tell if he wanted phil to think he was angry or sad, but he could tell it was seen as sad. The man's eyes confused Daniel Just as much, his eyes were widened, however not in a “oh shit” way, but a confused and even scared way. He sat and watched as emotions flew past his lovers face, before settling on fear, a frightened sounding squeak passing through ihs lips before he got up and ran to the middle of the room, looking between him and the strange man quickly. Dan didn't know what was causing him to react this way, but humans are cunning, so he began to wonder if this was just a ploy to make him forget how he was cheating on Dan.

Dan heard himself scoff before he could even think to do it logically. His eyes were not hardened, he had wanted to marry him, so why was he kissing this man. Dan was a god, not stupid, he knew this was wrong, yet he couldn't make himself believe phil would ever do that to him, it just didn't fit right. “I trusted you, i gave you everything i had, i told you the most important things about me,and you kiss some stranger?” he asks angrily, glaring at his boyfriend, or should he say ex.

Phil Looked conflicted, confused, and albeit, a bit angry himself. The stranger he had been kissing sat on the same spot as when dan had walked in, although there was now a smirk on his face, one that seemed way to familiar to be comfortable.”Dan-” PHil started, causing them both to look over at him. “You know i would never, look i know this sounds crazy, but, he was…..you? He had walked in, he looked exactly like you. He thanked me for the food i told you i brought home from mcdonalds, and we came up here, he said you wanted to do the video, Dan it sounds crazy, but he was you.” Phil said

Dan scoffed “You expect me to believe that Phil, seriously!” he shouted. He then stopped, his face paling before turning a nasty shade of red, his neck blotching as he realizes exactly what was happening here. He turned slowly, glaring at the stranger. “You! You seriously tried to break us up! Thats ridiculous! We've been over for 3 years now hades, you need to go, leave me and my boyfriend alone, i never want to hear from you again. Im dealing with my side, so leave me alone, leave! And don't come back, ever! Im serious hades. I’m done with this, dont make me go to Thea about this.”

The male glared over at Dan, before sighing. “I miss you Daniel, but you're clearly happy here. i'll leave you alone, but don't expect me to be happy about it.” the male said dramatically, before snapping his fingers, a cloud of black smoke appearing, clearing when he was gone. “Drama queen.” Dan murmured.

`````````

“Phil look,” he said sighing “first of all, i'm sorry for waiting to tell you, but i-”

“A God from the underworld? Yeah i know.” Phil said cutting him off, not sounding angry or surprised in the slightest. Dans eyebrows furrowed, not expecting such a calm and nonchalant claim after saying something so wild and big. “How did you find out?” He asked confused, wondering how long Phil had known. “Oh, for at least a year. I figured you were waiting for the right time, you leave your notes out all the time, and then you said hades and it kind of clicked.” PHil explained. Dan just nodded slowly, having dealt with far too much today.

“Let's go lay down.”he said, sighing as they went to go cuddle. No more secrets.

_________________________________________

“Dan! Your ex took our toaster again!” he heard phil yell from the kitchen. Dan smiled. After everything had happened, Dan finally asked PHil to marry him, and a year later they were husbands. Hades stills showed up, but all was friendly as he had found a god and they had begun to get serious.

“Phil, I've told you time and time again, if you say you really like i-”

“He's going to take it, i know, i know. I expect it back by nine, i need some waffles” Phil said cutting him off.

Dan smiled at his husband, he was exactly where he wanted to be in life.

___________________________________________

Finished.

[le-paradoxxxx]

So, after like two weeks of deliberation I’ve finally decided to reply to this one lmao, been trying to figure out my brain here.

Anywhos, you make an excellent point, and strictly speaking from say a Norse and Germanic Heathenry standpoint, it is becoming relatively clear how the pieces being picked up from a thousand years ago are coming together quite nicely.

What I find interesting and simultaneously immensely frustrating, is the scale of these reconstruction and standardization efforts have a scale depending on the religion at hand, Hellenism and and the Roman religion have proved to be rather simple to reconstruct, as is kemeticism to an extent, Heathenry as well is taking its steps to get to that point too. However, other religions such as various Celtic religions and possibly Slavic (don’t take my word for it, I personally haven’t done all the research yet) are kind of struggling to reach this point.

I have my theories as to why, and it mostly pertains to how these religions died, their populations, and so on, but another one that comes to mind is one I also personally struggle with. To me, it is the access to credible and believable information that is well researched and without bias, hell I’d take it even with bias cause you kinda can figure out what makes it biased.

For instance, while these sources suck, the eddas do serve a fundamental introductory role for those who wish to begin their journey into learning of Heathenry, and the biases can be stripped away once they do further research and stumble upon sites like yours. The Hellenists have the Homeric Epics like The Iliad and The Odyssey, which again can serve as an introductory role, Kemeticists have the myriad of different retellings of story’s derived from the hieroglyphs as well as literally a pretty obvious layout and evolutionary pattern of the Kemetic Religion.

But, if we look at say Irish Polytheism (biased ik but its also from my own perspective and experience) we have the mythological cycles, which in my case are very hard to come across and understand, and misinformation abound regarding who is who and what is what. I know who the Tuatha De Danan are, The Fomorians, and so forth. But that information took years of scouring and jumping through hoops to get to, and thanks to a pal of mine I now have access to a whole drives worth of scholarly information. Now idk if it’s just me being shit at research, and let’s be honest thats a possibility, but I’ve had the same struggles in different Slavic cultures.

Another issue I’ve seen is the lumping together of VERY different cultural groups, this happens intensely in Irish Polytheism, where it is lumped together with ALL Celtic peoples beliefs, and some go to say that ALL Celtic people believed in the same Gods, from the research I’ve done there are *similar* individuals, and symbolism and sometimes iconography, but it goes to say that you cannot lump together a people group who spanned an ENTIRE GODS DAMNED CONTINENT, and that’s still being debated and thoroughly studied to this day, and the same Gods damned thing happens for the Slavic cultures from what I’ve seen.

So ig my point is that, I fucking love how many different religions are being reconstructed and standardized today, neo-paganism is truly something to be inspired by, old dead religions coming back from both older traditional families and new practitioners abound, my biggest frustration right now however, is how slow these realizations and efforts are taking for some of the other non Heathen and Hellenist religions, especially considering how misinformation from extremes like fascists to more well intentioned people tend to hold onto.

Its honestly why you’re site, as well as The Anarchist Library, has inspired me to try and get this information more equally accessible and as well as understandable for those who want to learn about these religions. Hell I wanna build something that can do it based on regions n shit. Maybe I will who knows, I’m dedicating my life to researching this shit anyways lmao.

Oh and here's another hot take: If pagans want to have regularly credible and quality materials, we need to accept and welcome the idea of standardization.

[theglassbutterflii]

The Desire to do RIGHT when there’s nothing LEFT ...

This has been a long time coming. In fact, I’m not sure that I was ready to accept it. But, I do realize that change is the only constant and if one goes through life gaining no knowledge at all ... then what is the point.  My life has been confronted with many confirmations the last few months - and I will admit I have ignored them. I think I can even say I have confronted the days with a smile - to keep from showing what may be seen as “not having my shit together” - because after all ... it’s been roughly 19 months and some days since I left the physical rehab and suicide watch - to do this with the help of friends and family. 

At the same time its been roughly 5 months since I’ve been doing this while living alone - and having to spend time with myself with no distractions. Well sure there’s that virtual world (but that only fills so many voids and then its old) - and then there’s the lovely veil of facebook ... where I can just laugh at things and read other people’s fantabulous facebook lives (cause aint nobody perfect I don’t care what they’re status implies). I particularly love those that say they keepin it real - but only tellin bits and pieces - which I guess at the end of the day is their prerogative. Anywho ... 

In these last few months, I have been asked whats up with the blog ... the last few days I’ve actually been doing private vlogs for myself - just video’ing myself talking to myself. But never had the strength to come back here - to where it all started. I set goals for myself when I started writing this. I set goals with NO DETOURS, with no OBSTACLES - I came out the gate at 10 and figured I’d stay at 10 ... well thats a big HELL NO. 

Then I started to feel like I owed it to those following me - and my journey to only write when it was awesome because I don’t want anyone to feel that this is NOT possible. At which point I realized I was giving false views - this can be done. But it is HARD WORK .. it is BACKSLIDES ... it is TEARS of “what the hell was thinking?” it is basically a journey of self-discovery. Everything has a reason. 

Face it I had to go on this journey because I was fat - not just fat, but obese not just obese but classified as “morbidly obese”  ... and I had already had a nice mental breakdown at the age of 19 which I got help for, then hid it for years afterward by drinking, lightly partying, being rebellious, and then jumping into not 1 but 2 domestically violent relationships. All this because in my mind - I had failed to be PERFECT like I was raised to be. (another perception that I created). Again ... symptoms of a bigger problem. 

Honestly it was like - plugging the hole in a boat, and another one coming, and plugging that one - and another one pops up - and well basically the idea is ... I ran out of things to plug holes and the boat was starting to sink. I speak these things NOW - with a different view. How? How do you have another view after you’ve lived this view - you’ve lived according to your perception. It’s weird because it's like walking through a clear path - but in my eyes, I see large holes in the ground so I take wide steps to avoid them - but they really don’t exist outside MY view.  

So ... what do you do to get to the actual issue that causing the symptom and treat the actual problem. You get help. You get support. Everybody’s help ain't the same, everybody’s support ain't the same ... but it has to be done - it is the truth - that no “man” is an island. Isolation is not an option ... as humans, we are not designed to be all alone. we need some kind of contact some kind of way. 

So ... I say now. I will be going a different direction some days, but I don’t give a damn if it interests anyone, this is for me. I finally realize that I need more help than just losing weight - here I am 256 pounds lighter - and I’m still perceiving things not exactly ... “correct”. Which is causing me to gain back weight that has been lost, lose confidence that was gained - and basically not want to even deal with this shit again. Now, most would say uh oh ... that's horrible. But it's not. It’s not at all because I’ve caught it. I know what I’m doing wrong and more than that ... I know how to fix it, I know what to do. So I’m actually still very proud of myself - when I remember what I've accomplished. 

BY Frank Morrison

My new treatment for what I’m dealing with: 

I am working on the eating disorder, I have a binging issue, I do not purge - I binge and starve - which is horrible for the body. So now I’m getting that back under control. I am in therapy (yes with a real-life therapist lol), I’m learning how to be me with no shame, to be who I want to be, do what I want to do - and understand there is no such thing as perfection, and I have no one to prove anything to. I still have my schedule - I just don't follow it - because - it's a form of rebellion if I don’t ... yea I learned that in therapy. (false perception once again) - but the biggest thing I’m doing is finding my spiritual path and following it. I’m learning weapons of defense - spiritually. I’m learning about the state of the human mind - on a different level. I am finally accepting the fact that - I may not worship like I was brought up to - but I do believe in something greater than myself. 

I know I have a Higher Power - and I answer to that High Power and myself. Yes, I say, Jesus, yes I say God - and if it's not ok for people - then so be it. Their issue, not mine. The biggest thing I’m learning ... I have a right to be here, and be me - I need to take advantage of that dash that is life and live it to the fullest. Do I have some philosophical bullshit to say - that will make the things sound all warm and fuzzy - HELL NO. I have been struggling with being myself and I have not said a single word about it - because I needed to sort it out with myself before I put it on paper, because once it's written - to me its done - no take backs. 

At the end of the day - I’m human. I’m not a walking Hallmark card, I’m not walking proof that if you change 1 thing everything else is great. I am just proof that God is still in the blessing business - and that I am. Indeed.

National Suicide Prevention LifelineCall 1-800-273-8255

Crisis Text Line -  Text CONNECT to 741741