#anywho I feel sick now and have to go out for my brother’s birthday so slaaaayy

[myfriendtheghost]

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[multi-fandom-freak0221]

You Killed Me, but I Survived and Now I'm Coming Alive

Hey guys. It's been a minute. My job have been kicking my ass. I quit one of them a few months back cause 16-18 hour days were kicking my ass. But my dad died of Covid 1/20/21, on my older sisters birthday and month before my 20th birthday. I am half a country away from him and I won't be going to see the rest of them, but I do have 3 paid days bereavement and while I'm trying to distract myself I decided to try and finish this part. Your feedback motivates me so much. This part was the part I've been waiting for. The whole reason I created this fic. Like for real I had like maybe one sentence summaries planned for the other two parts in my head but this part played out like a full movie in my head down to the last details. This one will probably be the longest. It also has like 3 songs in it because it's the concert/gala scene hopefully I'll be able to cut it down some because i won't need descriptions between every lyrics but who knows. C'est la Vie. Anyways this will be the official last part, but I do already have one for sure bonus planned and a possible bonus that I might do if enough people want it.

This part's title is from "Miss Moving On" by Fifth Harmony. And this part includes the songs "Sorry (I'm not Sorry)" by Demi Lovato, "Home" by Philip Phillips, and "Symphony" by Clean Bandit ft . (Which for me is like a fucking poly anthem. I'm mean a symphony is a perfect metaphor for a healthy poly relationship! I mean it is a lovely way of asking to join into a poly group! Anywho I'm ranting and projecting. Ignore me.)

This is Part 3 of my fic based on @maiisdaddy 's Love of Three.

Tagging list:

@thestressmademedoit @colorfulmongerpsychicranch @lizziejay @indecisive-mess-named-me @captainmac6 @luveverything12 @kris-pines04 @brokenwordsarehard2 @roselynfey @mewwitch @stainedglassm

Part 1 Part 2

Marinette was ecstatic. She was extremely proud of all that she had accomplished in the 6 or 7 seven months since she left Damian. She became a singing sensation and recorded a whole album that would be releasing soon. She spent time healing and hanging out with her friends and pseudo family. Hell she even created outfits for herself and all her friends for the album release/identity reveal gala her Uncle Tony decided to throw for. Not that other guest knew that what this gala was for. Uncle Tony had picked the next closest international holiday and claimed it was a charity gala in honor of said holiday. While he may mot have been being entirely truthful there is never a bad reason to give to charity so she wasn't going to dwell on it.

She could truly say she totally over Damian. She even had Adrien take the ring back to her old apartment for her. She was not worried about him anymore. She had more important matters to attend to. Like the 3 boys who stole her heart while helping her piece it back together. Which she would say was great timing because she was sure Bruce Wayne would be at this gala. She guesses it was some kind of billionaire/millionaire code to never miss a charity event hosted by a fellow billionaires/millionaires.

Either way it was for the best because as soon as Uncle Tony had suggested a gala to reveal at, she had Uncle Jagged help her with two songs that she kept secret from everyone. One to show her appreciate for all her family and friend's support for her and one to confess to the 3 boys who loved her when she felt unlovable. She was going to preform these song for her friends in front of a lot of influential people but she wasn't even nervous. Not even when Alix told her that the gala was to be live streamed. No she was just excited and happy to let her friends know how she was feeling.

The gala was in full swing. All the guests who were coming were already there by the time Marinette and everyone else she came with arrived. She was talking with Chloe, Kagami, and Alix when she decided to grab herself a drink. She was walking to the refreshments table when accidentally bumped in someone's back slightly. "Oh! I'm sorry, sir."

The man then turned around to reveal to be Bruce Wayne himself. "Marinette! I'm surprised to see you. Damian said you were feeling too sick to attend."

Marinette wanted to scowl, but she managed keep her face neutral. She knew there were reporters swarming here and she did not want to make a spectacle. "I'm sure he did. Now if you'll excuse me, Mr. Wayne I was on my way to get a drink." She didn't even get a chance to leave Bruce in confusion from her statement. No sooner than she took a step to leave did Dick walk up to her.

Dick smiled at her as he greeted her kindly. "Sunshine! It's been a while. I thought Damian said you were under the weather?" As he moved in to hug her she sidestepped out of his reach.

Once upon a time she loved Dick's hugs, but now it would just feel fake. "I'm sure your brother has said many thing about my lack of attendance to many social gatherings. Unfortunately those claims were false as Damian has not been privy to my whereabouts in months. Now if you please excuse me."

She went to walk away again, but she guesses Dick's interference was enough time for Bruce get over his shock because he blocked her path again. "What are you talking about Marinette?" Marinette resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Mr. Wayne it has been nice talking with you but this really is a conversation for another time." Marinette sighs. She was trying to be civil. She was sure there were reporters everywhere waiting for the big scoop. She wanted that to be her reveal not her past relationship with an asshole. "Besides this is probably something you'd need to talk to Damian about."

"Talk to me, about what?" There is no God, she was convinced. The sigh that left her mouth was long and full of suffering as she turned around with a clearly fake smile. Facing her now was Damian himself with Tim and Jason behind him. Damian was clearly extremely shocked to she her, but he played it off quickly. "Angel I thought you weren't feeling well. Why didn't you tell me you changed your mind? You could have came with us."

Marinette ducked out of Damian's reach, barely restraining from stomping on his foot with her heels, as he tried to kiss her. "Do not call me Angel. And don't you dare even try to kiss me, Wayne."

Before Marinette could lose her temper anymore Luka came and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Everything okay, Melody?" Marinette took some calming breaths as she attempted to regain her composure.

While she was trying to calm down, it seemed the Wayne family was getting worked up. "And who is this, Marinette?" Bruce asked accusingly.

Marinette looked at the family in front of her in disbelief. "You all met Luka. He's my best friend. Signed under Jagged. In a committed relationship with two of my other best friends, Kagami and Adrien." She shook her head as the all held sheepish expression for assuming the worst. "Not that who I'm with is any of your business anyways."

Before any of them could question to her statement, Felix comes to her other side and whispers into her ear. "Do you want me to call security?" She didn't even get a chance to respond before she heard Dick gasp, scandalized.

"Marinette!! Are you cheating on Damian?" Dick exclaimed. At this point Marinette knew they were drawing a crowd she was trying to keep everyone's dignity intact, even though her reputation wasn't the one at stake.

"Mr. Wayne I once again implore you that we have this conversation in a more private setting." Marinette spoke calmly, but through gritted teeth. She was on her nerve.

Bruce crossed his arm and spoke loudly drawing more attention to them. "No. I demand you explain to me at once why you are here with another man when you are supposed to be marrying my son. Was this all some kind of ruse to go after the Wayne Fortune?" Her jaw dropped. She knew it did but she couldn't stop herself from the shock. The sheer audacity of this family before her. She quickly shut her mouth as her eyes narrowed into a deadly glare. Her Ladybug glare. The Wayne family would never admit it but an involuntary shiver went down their spines at the sight of it.

She knew her friends had gathered behind her at this point and see could see the reporters pushing past each other to get the scoop. Vicki Vale was the closest one. In the corner of her eye she saw the camera that was set up for the livestream as well.

Marinette face finally settled on a look mixed with anger and mischief. "Oh? So want to cause a scene, Mr. Wayne? Well how about I put on a show?" She continued to stare Bruce in the eye as she spoke to one of her, "Chloe, can you tell Jagged that I'll be opening with Sorry. The rest of the show will go as planned." Chloe smiled wickedly before going to do asked.

The Wayne family began to smirk when they heard her say sorry, but whatever they began to feel was quickly shut down as she spoke to them again. "Let's get this straight, Mr. Wayne. I am not cheating on Damian and I never once desired to a part of your family's fortune. It was foolish of me to even once want to be a part of your family but I quickly learned better. I would not want to even look at the money that is connected to your family's name if the requirement was to be even cordial with Damian, let alone married to him."

She then towards the crowd the surrounding them. "If everyone would please take their seats facing the stage the show is about to to begin." Without a second thought Marinette headed towards the stage while the rest of her friends took their seats. Some one who was in the staff working tonight led the Wayne family to seats right in front of the stage. Soon everyone was seated and Marinette was standing center stage with a microphone.

Marinette smiled brightly at the crowd. "Thank you all for coming. I'm sure you all know me as Marinette Dupain-Cheng, pseudo niece of Tony Stark and Jagged Stone, and for some of you ex-fiance of Damian, but for others you still current fiance of Damian Wayne. Well I hate to inform that some of you are wrong. Anyways I'm sure your wondering why I'm up here. Well Uncle Tony promised a surprise musical guest so I'd like to reintroduce myself to all of as Neon Titanium! I'm going to be preforming a few songs for you tonight from my new album about to release but before that I decided I should clear the air. Let me start by saying it has been about 7 months since I broke off my engagement to Damian Wanye. While most of you know I chose to kept the reason of said break up private, someone here tonight decided that they were entitled to the reason to being told to them, very publicly. And who am I to deny such a request?" There was a false sincerity to her final sentence that seemed almost menacing.

In the front you can see the paling faces of many of the Wayne men as Tim is on his phone. He finally pulls up Marinette interview that was released prior to Damian announcement. "Damian, what the hell did you do?" Tim voice was barely above a whisper but they all heard it.

Marinette continued on quite content to the situation before her. "Well here's the truth. Damian did the unforgivable. He repeatedly cheated on me while emotionally abusing me and gaslighting me.

"He kept me from seeing everyone I cared about and his own family, claiming it was for my own safety and called me selfish for wanting to leave the apartment he kept me locked in. And while at first he seemed to actually be concerned my wellbeing, over time he stopped caring.

"He became distant, turning back into the Ice Prince you all knew him to be. He would lie about why I wouldn't leave the apartment constantly while still leaving me alone in the apartment constantly. Then he started getting late night calls from "work" to the point I would barely see him. I overheard one of these calls once. I heard him telling who ever was on the other side of the phone that I had no clue and to be waiting for him naked. But I stayed hopeful. I thought I could fix things. But he got worse.

"He was slept with the one person who made it their life goal to take everything from me. Even before I moved to Gotham, this girl hated me and she took all of the people who I thought were my friends and turned them against me. My true friends stayed and knew the truth but it still hurt. And Damien knew this. I told him all about this girl abd how she hurt me. Yet he still slept with her.

"The girl knew I was Damien's fiance. Somehow she got my number and sent me a picture of her in bed with Damian, both of them naked. I'm not going to lie I broke down when I saw that. Before her I could play ignorant and act like I didn't know what he was doing. But this? This was impossible for me to ignore. He cared so little about me that he slept with the one person who do whatever it takes to hurt me. I left that same night with only the things that were mine. Everything I bought came with and everything he bought me stayed. Including the cell phone he bought me when I moved in with him. The only thing that wasn't mine that came with was the engagement ring because I couldn't bring myself to truly accept the truth that it was over yet. I later on had it returned because I remember Mr. Wayne saying it belonged to his mother, though I'm guessing Damian didn't notice."

Marinette saw Bruce whip his head towards Damian who shrunk in on himself.

"Oops. Guess it wasn't noticed indeed. Anyways. For the last 7 months I have been living in Stark Towers with my Uncle Tony, healing with some of my closest friends helping me. And after some convincing working on an album with Luka and my Uncle Jagged. I will preforming a few of those songs for the gala tonight and they will also be live streamed for those who paid for virtual tickets. My album will be released in the next following week." Marinette took a deep breath as she prepared for her first song.

"Originally I planned to open with a different song tonight but after this impromptu info dump, I thought only fair to follow it with the song I wrote dedicated to Damian. I like to call this one Sorry" As Marinette finished the music started playing over the speakers. Soon she was singing passionately.

Now I'm out here looking like revenge

Feelin' like a ten, the best I ever been

And yeah, I know how bad it must hurt to see me like this,

But it gets worse (wait a minute)

She pointed to Damian while rolling her eyes.

Now you're out here looking like regret

Ain't too proud to beg, second chance you'll never get

And yeah, I know how bad it must hurt to see me like this

But it gets worse (wait a minute)

She took the mic off it's stand as she walked along the front of the stage.

Now payback is a bad bitch

And baby, I'm the baddest

You fuckin' with a savage

Can't have this, can't have this (ah)

And it'd be nice of me to take it easy on ya, but nah

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Being so bad got me feelin' so good

Showing you up like I knew that I would

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Feeling inspired 'cause the tables have turned

Yeah, I'm on fire and I know that it burns

Baby, fineness is the way to kill

Marinette gestured to herself from head to toe.

Tell me how it feel, bet it's such a bitter pill

And yeah, I know you thought you had bigger, better things

Bet right now this stings (wait a minute)

'Cause the grass is greener under me

Bright as Technicolor, I can tell that you can see

And yeah, I know how bad it must hurt to see me like this

But it gets worse (wait a minute)

By this point Chloe, Kagami, and Adrien had got up and started dancing along to the song.

Now payback is a bad bitch

And baby, I'm the baddest

You fuckin' with a savage

Can't have this, can't have this (ah)

And it'd be nice of me to take it easy on ya, but nah

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Being so bad got me feelin' so good

Showing you up like I knew that I would

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Feeling inspired 'cause the tables have turned

Yeah, I'm on fire and I know that it burns

Marinette waved to her 3 friends to join on stage for the next part.

Talk that talk, baby

Better walk, better walk that walk, baby

If you talk, if you talk that talk, baby

Everyone was clapping to the beat while Marinette pranced across the stage, except for the Wayne family.

Better walk, better walk that walk, baby

Oh yeah Talk that talk, baby

Better walk, better walk that walk, baby

If you talk, if you talk that talk, baby

Better walk, better walk that walk, baby (oh yeah)

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Being so bad got me feelin' so good

Showing you up like I knew that I would

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Baby, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

Feeling inspired 'cause the tables have turned

Yeah, I'm on fire and I know that it burns

As the song came to a close, there was a roar of applause as her friends went back to her table.

Marinette did a little half bow. "Thank you. Thank you."

She wait till it was quiet again as she returned the mic to the stand. "Now as you can all see I'm doing much better now and I'm happy without him, but if it wasn't for the support system I have I never would have made it to where I am. My parents are in France so in my time of need I turned to my family who was close. My uncles Jagged and Tony, and my aunts Penny and Pepper. They're wonderful and they have always been there for me when I need them. And also my friends, both old and new have stood by me through all of this and helped me come out stronger. So this next song was a surprise gift for them."

Jagged had grabbed an acoustic guitar and was playing her in sitting in the background of her as a projection shined on the wall behind her, showing pictures of her with her friends and her uncles and aunts.

Hold on, to me as we go

As we roll down this unfamiliar road

And although this wave is stringing us along

Just know you're not alone

'Cause I'm going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear

Don't pay no mind to the demons

They fill you with fear

The trouble it might drag you down

If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone

'Cause I'm going to make this place your home

She took the mic off the stand again as she walk off the stage to her friends and family in the crowd giving the hugs as vocalized along with music.

On the screen was several pictures she found. She put together the slideshow herself. There was a picture of herself crying in the midst of group hug while the people around her comforted. Another was her and all her friends playing in the pool. There was one where they had an impromptu free-for-all dodgeball game and she had won. She was laughing as the guys lifted her into and the girls were all cheering around her.

She made her way back to the stage after the final hug.

Settle down, it'll all be clear

Don't pay no mind to the demons

They fill you with fear

The trouble it might drag you down

If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone

'Cause I'm going to make this place your home

She smiled as projector turned off and the crowd applauded again. "Thank you all. But truly thank you to my friends and family for helping and supporting me."

She waited till it was quiet once more before speaking again. "All those who love me have done so much for me, but right now I wanna talk about 3 very special people."

She smiled softly as she looked over to where Peter, Felix, and Jon were sitting. "These 3 boys did so much for me even though they were the ones who knew me the shortest. They've been kind and patient and understanding with me. They all started to love me when I felt my most unlovable. And soon they found a love in each other as well. The best part is even after loving each other they offered to include me in their love as well, whenever I was ready. They gave me their friendship unconditionally no matter what my answer came to be and never rushed me for an answer ever. So Jon, Felix, and Peter this song is for you."

She saw the Wayne family's eyes widen, but she paid them no mind as she started singing.

I've been hearing symphonies

Before all I heard was silence

A rhapsody for you and me

And every melody is timeless

Life was stringing me along

Then you came and you cut me loose

Was solo singing on my own

Now I can't find the key without you

And now your song is on repeat

And I'm dancin' on to your heartbeat

And when you're gone, I feel incomplete

So if you want the truth

I just wanna be part of your symphony

Will you hold me tight and not let go?

Symphony

Like a love song on the radio

Will you hold me tight and not let go?

I'm sorry if it's all too much

Every day you're here, I'm healing

And I was runnin' out of luck

I never thought I'd find this feeling

At this point Marinette had walked down the stage grabbed Jon's hand and led him back to the stage dancing.

'Cause I've been hearing symphonies

Before all I heard was silence

A rhapsody for you and me

(A rhapsody for you and me)

And every melody is timeless

She repeated the process with Felix as Jon danced nervously danced on stage.

And now your song is on repeat

And I'm dancin' on to your heartbeat

And when you're gone, I feel incomplete

So if you want the truth

She left Felix and Jon dancing together as she brought Peter back to the stage with her. She continued to dance with him as she sang.

I just wanna be part of your symphony

Will you hold me tight and not let go?

Symphony

Like a love song on the radio

Will you hold me tight and not let go?

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

Ah ah, ah

She smiled as Peter dipped her before bring her back up and handing her off to Felix.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

Ah ah, ah

Felix twirled her, letting her dress flare, as she spun right in to join awaiting arms where he lifted her into the air.

And now your song is on repeat

And I'm dancin' on to your heartbeat

He slowly set her down and she turned until her back is against his chest. His hand are on hips as they sway gently.

And when you're gone, I feel incomplete

So if you want the truth

Peter and Felix were mimicking her position with Jon in front of her and she put an arm around Peter's neck while the other still held the microphone.

(Oh, oh, oh)

I just wanna be part of your symphony

Will you hold me tight and not let go?

Symphony

Like a love song on the radio

Symphony

Will you hold me tight and not let go?

Symphony

Like a love song on the radio

Will you hold me tight and not let go?

This time as she finished singing the crowd was silent as she looked at the 3 boys who held her heart. "Jon. Felix. Peter. You guys are some of the best people to ever walk into my life. I want nothing more than to be with you 3. So if you are still willing, will you do me the honor of calling me your girlfriend?"

She looked hopeful as the silence filled her ears. It felt like hours, even though it was definitely seconds, before she heard them all say yes.

Cheers erupted as Peter kissed her and Jon and Felix kissed each other over the former two's heads. She then turned kissed Jon as Peter kissed Felix, before kissing Felix as Jon kissed Peter. She grinning wildly when the all finally pulled away from each other.

She raised the mic to her lips as she closed out. "Thank you all for being here for my reveal/debut! I got one more song that I'll be preforming at the end of the gala, so y'all have fun and mingle. Once again, this is Marinette Dupain-Cheng aka Neon Titanium, I'm glad you enjoyed the show!"

She winked at Bruce on her last word as she walked off the stage with the loves of her life to where her family and friends were waiting for her.

Her and her boys (and Kwami does she love that -Her boys) were in the midst of getting congratulations when she heard someone clear their throat behind her. Bruce Wayne stood as tall as ever though he refused to meet any of her group's eyes.

"Ms. Dupain-Cheng, I apologize for my early behavior tonight, I was missing the whole story." He voice was steady but some shame shone through. His boys were behind him all of them also looking sheepish except Damian who was glaring at her new loves Jon in particular.

Marinette rolled her eyes. "You know as well as I do that the media are sharks, and events like these are a feeding frenzy for them. I tried my hardest to keep all of our reputations intact tonight, a lot harder than I should have since I had nothing to hide since I was the victim here. Yet, you in no regards of the truth, attempted to smear me with no hesitation. Personally the rest of you did nothing to me so I had no ill will towards you, but you forced my hand. The results of today are direct consequences of your own actions."

Before anyone else could speak up Damian did. "Kent," He nearly growled. "Why didn't you inform me as soon as you knew she was gone. As my best friend you should have informed me immediately!"

Jon answered lowly in a dark tone no had ever heard him use before. "My father tried to warn you father, Wayne, but when questioned you just dug your own grave deeper. Besides as my father explained to me it is not our job to make sure you two are aware of the going ons of your own household. Also you lost the right to be my best friend when you decided to be so cruel to the person you were supposed to love and then lie when confronted about it."

Marinette scoffed. "I figured when you finally noticed I was gone you'd assume I was off throwing a temper tantrum in hiding somewhere and that I'd come back. The fact that you weren't even worried about me in all that time I was missing is really telling."

Bruce glared Damian down from respond as his brothers held him back. "I just have one more question before we rightfully leave you alone. You said you had the ring return? Where could it possibly be?"

Marinette shrugged. "I had Adrien return it a couple months ago. Damian was fucking some girl in his apartment when Adrien walked in and he didn't even notice him set it on the dresser. I believe heard on the grapevine someone named Lila is claim she's Damian's true love and he had to keep up our engagement for appearances. She also claimed he proposed to her with a Wayne family heirloom until he get away from me. I guess maybe next time Damian should pay better attention to his house guests." She giggled sarcastically afterwards.

Bruce frowned as he nodded. "I see. I'll leave you all alone now. Have a wonderful evening, and congratulations." As he led his family away Marinette could hear whispered yelling but could make out a few phrases like "PR Nightmare", "priceless heirloom", "huge mistake", and even "major fuck up".

As soon as they were out of hearing range Marinette started laughing, causing everyone around her to laugh too. She finally calmed down eventually but her large smile never went away. This is the happiest and the most free she's felt in the long time.

[miracvlovs]

✗✗✗   you see [ kaleb yıldırım ] around lately? yeah i heard that the [ cis male ] is up to no good. [ he / him ] has been here for [ five years ] now but they’re still pretty [ abrasive ] which is fine because they’re also [ debonair ] so it balances out. the [ twenty-eight ] year old [ hitman for hire ] actually looks like a lot like [ alperen duymaz ], don’t you think? it’s best to watch out, though, because it’s been said that they’re really into [ strong cigarettes & even stronger whiskey ].

hey, hello, hi, bonjour! s’up buttercups? ‘tis i, your friendly neighbourhood loser chrissie ( a.k.a an irish doofus who is utter plot trash and the actual WORST at keeping track with discord messages, oops ) and i’m super duper excited to be here among you fab human beings! anywho, this is my first kiddo kaleb and he is … how do you say … morally grey. basically his morals are very questionable in every aspect. but! on the plus side, he’s very talented and good at his job even if he is ruthless and callous, oop. he is … the worst and also lowkey messed up inside tbh so pls excuse his blunt and sarcastic nature. plot-wise i’m open to literally anything and everything so come at me with any ideas ya got! i’m always diggity down to spit ball ideas and form some dope connections so pls feel free to invade my ims or hmu on le cord ( chrissie.#9606 ) and we can brainstorm until our heart’s content! if ya wanna, go ahead and light that lil grey heart up red and i’ll shimmy my butt your way for all of the good stuff. anywho, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty, shall we?

fundamentals.

KALEB EMER YILDIRIM     —     twenty-eight, hitman for hire,   +   one snarky son of a gun   /   troubled dude with daddy issues   /   all issues tbh ! 

aesthetics   ➤   dried blood caked into the grooves of cut knuckles, the lingering scent of smoke and gasoline, silver slivers of past scarring, five o’clock shadow peppering a blunt jawline, discolourations of blue and purple decorating battered hands, a subtle smirk etched upon a devious countenance, calloused fingertips riddled with small paper cuts, dark circles under almost-black eyes, the noise of screeching tires in the middle of the night, a tall stature adorned in all-black attire, ghosts of bruises staining calloused skin green, a scuffed zippo lighter in a pack of marlboros containing only one cigarette, white shirts with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, a sly grin under stormy dark eyes, a sniper on the roof of a deserted building, the roar of a car engine, & clenched, white-knuckled fists.

nicknames. kal.

date of birth. november third.

gender. cis male.

pronouns. he + him.

birthplace. manhattan, nyc.

orientation. bisexual + aromantic.

education. bachelor of music degree obtained from manhattan school of music.

spoken languages. can speak fluent english, turkish, spanish, & french.

negative traits. haughty, abrasive, enigmatic, cynical, temperamental, calculating, hedonistic, distant, sarcastic, & volatile.

positive traits. adept, diligent, charming, resilient, candid, adept, charming, audacious, determined, & resourceful.

strengths. efficient, energetic, self-confident, strong-willed, strategic thinker, charismatic, & inspiring.

weaknesses. stubborn, dominant, intolerant, impatient, arrogant, poor handling of emotions, cold, & ruthless.

talents. piano, retaining information, memory recall, lock-picking, carjacking, hand-to-hand combat, automobile knowledge, tracking people down, & excellent problem-solving abilities. 

physiology. dark brown eyes. dark brown hair. six feet, one inch tall. of a lean, broad stature with a straight posture and evident height. has a few silvery scars littered across his skin. has a few tattoos in a few less visible places. is ambidextrous.

psychology. scorpio zodiac. water element. slytherin house. entj-a. chaotic neutral. type eight enneagram. choleric temperament. interpersonal intelligence type. addicted to alcohol, tobacco, prescription drugs, cocaine, and cannabis. suffers from addiction and insomnia. his vices are lust, wrath and pride. his virtues are ... honestly, probably just diligence tbh.

background.

possible triggers   :   infidelity, divorce, alcoholism, drug abuse, cancer, death, car crash, funeral, blood, murder, suicide mention, gun mention, & various references to death and murder. 

a synopsis.   ah, here he is—my tol, troubled, grouchy son : ' ) don't u just adore ur resident trashy, snarky, but precious and sad fuckboi muse? bc i know I DO! anyways, before i digress, i'll cut to the chase. so, waaay before he blessed the universe with his presence, his mother ( who was originally from turkey ) moved to the states where she met one alexander hale. you can probably guess the rest: the pair married, they had children, everything seemed to be going swimmingly, yada yada. here’s a lil background: the hale family—a line of manhattan-born businessmen / lawyers / diplomats etc. they're dripping in wealth, not always as squeaky clean as they portray themselves as to be. kaleb’s dad was a douche, expected both of his sons to follow in his shadow and become lawyers, ran around behind his wife's back: the whole shoot and shebang of a classic a-hole. he always kind of ignored kaleb in favour of his eldest son joshua so kaleb kinda became hard-hearted and resentful due to the lack of his father's attention. skip a few years and he spied his dad cheating on his mother with his secretary though he refused to tell another soul for fear of any potential backlash. soon enough, his mother found this out for herself, their argument ruined his thirteenth birthday party then they divorced soon after. his mother fell off the wagon, became terminally ill—all while his father was remarrying and expecting a daughter with his secretary. it was a hella rough two years for kaleb. it got even worse. eventually, his mother passed away and his step-mother divorced his father to breeze off into the sunset with her new lover; leaving her daughter with her piss-poor excuse of a dad. at this point, kaleb was lonely and angry but adopted the role of his step-sister's protector, shielding her from their father's increasing substance abuse induced violence. just before his seventeenth birthday, his father died in a car crash. of course, he didn't entirely mourn the loss. almost immediately, he and his younger sister moved in with their elder brother who helped kaleb get into university. with dear ole dad out of the picture, he could finally pursue his interest and flair for music. after he graduated, he moved to santa ysabel with his brother and brother's family. in the beginning, things were going fine. yeah, sure, he was struggling for work and felt bad that his brother had to keep him afloat. normal stuff. then, one day, things quickly turned sour in his world. [ TRIGGER FOR GORE, BLOOD, SUICIDE MENTION, GUN MENTION, MURDER, DEATH ] he’d came home to find the locks on the doors busted, advancing into the house carefully only to find his brother’s lifeless corpse crumbled on the kitchen tiles: his throat and wrists slashed, posed as a suicide. of course, kaleb knew better. he knew his brother; knew he would never leave him or his family. upon further inspection of the house, he’d discovered the body of his wife upstairs: a bullet hole between her eyes. [ TRIGGER OVER ] the whole ordeal was enough to turn his stomach but once the sickness had subsided, all kaleb felt was a strong thirst for blood. sure, it was pretty damn stupid to try and seek revenge or whatnot ... but kaleb had always been one to let his heart guide his brain. anyways, time skip now to the moment he’d uncovered his brother’s entanglement with some dodgy loan shark, drug dealing criminals who were responsible for his murder. in the end, he’d hunted them down and eradicated them one by one, over a span of weeks. at first, he hated himself and what his desire for vengeance had turned him into but he kept going until he’d got them all: until he’d grown numb. truthfully, how he wound up taking lives for a living is beyond him. he woke up one day, found himself hired by some big-wig businessman who wanted rid of his business partner and et voilà, he was tangled up in the dark side of existence. i mean, was he blackmailed into doing his first paid hit? yes. but who can blame him? especially when they claimed to have intel regarding the sudden demise of a prominent figure in the criminal underbelly of the city, a.k.a his brother’s killer. it was a risk kaleb simply couldn’t take. he prefers to keep himself anonymous, hidden behind shadows, unsuspecting. death has become a job. nothing more. nothing less. it’s simply the algorithm of his existence: receive a dossier, take care of the target, get paid a hefty lump sum. and all just for enacting a stranger’s revenge in the blood of another. he moves like a deadly phantom, his footsteps light as a feather, whipping through the night like a bullet through a target’s skull. sartre claims that hell is other people. and if you were to stare into kaleb’s eyes—eyes eerily similar to having been cut from coal—you might just see hell and everyone in it staring right back at you. as nietzsche wrote: “ he who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. and if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee. ”

random extras.

he has a lot of small scars over his body, most of which he can’t account for or has forgotten about.

owns and drives a black 1969 boss 429 mustang which he loves arguably more than he loves himself.

speaking of, he actually is full of self-hatred so don’t let the haughtiness fool you.

trusts nobody but himself and is loyal to nobody but himself.

has a lot of anger issues so often ends up taking part in underground fights.

he rates around a solid three on the kinsey scale.

is a distant person; closed-off emotionally and prefers to keep himself to himself.

when it comes to whether or not he is morally decent or an extremely bad person, he is somewhere in the middle of that spectrum.

he isn’t heartless but he isn’t exactly compassionate either.

kind of shady but knows how to pass himself as charming. 

has been thru sum shit n seen sum shit so he’s v messed up inside.

though he does have a soft spot for animals and children.

his marksmanship is impeccable.

he’s naturally gifted with firearms and his shot is always on point.

dark eyes and bruised knuckles are his ultimate aesthetic tbh.

actually really appreciates classical music, though he’ll never tell. blame it on his piano lessons from childhood.

speaking of piano, he’s low key gifted at playing although he rarely does these days.

has a very short fuse and can lose his temper quite easily.

he has a good heart and good intentions when it comes to those he actually cares about although he’ll never let this show.

favourite coping mechanism? isolation.

a bit of a lone wolf. he keeps people at arm’s length but acts in a way where people are under the illusion he’s their friend.

basically the tall, dark and handsome trope: ( most of the tall, dark and handsome men display aloof, cold and distant personality but they do have a gentle and caring side. )

is a little snarky and grumpy but if you manage to break this exterior, you’ll find he’s quite witty and easy going.

he got into fighting at a young age. it was the only way to try and learn how to defend himself against his father.

sleep?? he doesn’t know her.

tends to repress his emotions until he explodes.

healthy coping mechanisms?? he doesn’t know them either.

is prone to pushing the self destruct button.

you can find a pinterest board for him by clicking anywhere here.

[dilfweyoun]

imma put this out here and say- i think i know some reasons why i like (& relate to) certain ops more than others. i'll make a list.. so sorry if it's a bit of a read!

Attackers:

•Glaz - he is an artist/sniper. i used to be an artist, and really love snipers lol

•Blitz - it's canon that he uses humour to make people feel better in bad situations. i personally use humour like that as well. (one of the reasons he was my main, cause of his voice lines)

•Montagne - the mountain, the shielder, the protector. he's all of them and more. irl, i'd be considered like him as well. you can rely on him. he has your back (and front!)

•Thermite - we all know he has a thing for nukes/fire/blowing things up. his elite makes him have fire come from his hands! i like fire and explosions n what not too ;)

•Thatcher - y'all already knew i was gonna have him on here. lol anyway. he has an interesting backstory (family was more or less dockworkers), and me personally coming from Alaska- i understand it more. he also has a bit of an aversion to electronic stuff cause it's considered a crutch. while yeah, i use a computer/phone a lot- i can go without them for a decent peroid of time. lived half of my life without them in the first place haha

•Buck - ah yes, my French-Canadian boyo. i think what i like (relate?) the most is- he's from Canada and has a dmr. irl- my grandpa is from Canada and i've used guns similar to a dmr. also Buck was the first dlc op i got (had Ash, Rook, Pulse, & Buck for my first couple weeks of having the game)

•Capitão - we seen his elite reveal, right?👀 looks exactly like my late father. except my father was an Italian/Irish-American. not from Brazil haha

•Hibana - uhm. all i really can say is, she looks a lot like my Alaskan-Hawaiian-Japanese friend. like..it's a bit uncanny😂

•Jackal - mah Spanish boi has insomnia..well, so do i. that's one of the main reasons i can relate to him..also losing family members

•Nøkk - we don't know what she looks like. little to none of my friends know what i look like. when her HEL is active, we can't see her on cams. i'm rarely in photos as well👀 spooky

•Kali - uHhHh. remember what i said about Glaz with the sniper thing. same can be said with my gril over here

towards the end there, i wasn't getting that descriptive haha. sorry bout dat :p anyway

Defenders:

•Tachanka - pRaIsE bE! iT's ThE lOrD!! i'm joking..or am i? ;) in the past, my friends and i (from Alaska) would give each other roles for our 'roleplays' we'd do..mostly on Minecraft haha, and i ended up getting the "Lord" role. so it stuck for awhile lol

•Bandit - dis boyo is like a human Pikachu. i'm a sucker for lore...oof. so when his elite came out, i got interested and immediately bought it haha. we know the story behind it, it's what he looked like when undercover. and i've had some experience doing undercover work. not government official, but still undercover. yknow?

•Jäger - everyone knows he's a pilot, right? whale, some of my family was in World War II and were pilots. it's one of the reasons why i'd say i can sorta relate to him. also the whole mechanic shtick haha

•Doc - for the longest time, i wanted to be a nurse, but my absolute fear of needles has ruined it. (also brain surgery vids make me sick oof :v) but our lil French boi here makes up for it. so i'll play him when i'm in the mood to be a medic person

•Castle - can we get some love for my guy? if i'm being honest tho- he has to be one of the more useful ops, even if people rarely play him. tho he was used a lot when ranked still had hostage mode. cause you use his barricade on the one room in Kafe👌🏻

•Smoke - we knew i was gonna make a bit for him too👀. a bit of a fun fact- i didn't unlock him until Para Bellum / Grim Sky i believe? (got game at end of White Noise) anywho, he's reckless and a thrill-seeker. i'd have to say, i'm a bit of both as well. and we know of his spawning lines, one of them being "This reminds me of the time my uni burned down." which my high school didn't burn down, but the 5th floor of it was destroyed (and parts of the other floors). so i'd say, i somewhat relate haha

•Ela - i don't got much to say other than she looks like my mother. especially in her leaked elite. i showed it to my mother and she agreed. the hair structure, hair style, hair colour (more specifically the Twitch Prime headgear hair colour)

•Vigil - he doesn't know much about his family. and i could say the same as well. i don't know anyone from my late father's side. it wasn't until recent that i found out i have a half-sister and half-brother. both of which..don't know about me

•Maestro - he's Italian. i'm Italian. b o o m (i would've added Alibi as well, but she's actually from Libya)

•Kaid - how do we pronounce his name again? "cayde/cade"? "kai-eed"? however you wish to refer to him as. i took a liking to him because of Kincaid Park in Alaska. the resemblance in names were too similar imo, so whenever people speak of him. all i can think about is the park i'd go to every winter. (almost died there once, but that story is for another time lol)

•Mozzie - yknow..we share the same birthday, except he's 18 years older than me.😅 he's a daredevil and also reckless. and like i said with the Smoks bit, i'm also reckless!

•Warden - kek, his last name is McKinley, and me being from Alaska. his last name reminds me of home. cause we have a mountain called Denali (pronounced as 'den-al-ee', NOT 'den-awl-ee'. thank you very much!!) or known as... Mt. McKinley ;)

all in all, this has been a long post. i'm sorry for all the reading you gotta do. but if any of you want me to post similar things like this, i will! :)

side note- i realise now that i made a lot of mentions of my home..heh, for those who don't know, i lived in Alaska for the first 14-15 years of my life. then i moved to Tennessee (17 now). big oofs

edit: cause i'm lazy af, this post took 2 hours to make instead of less than 30 minutes

[artificialqueens]

You And I (Trixya) (Chapter 1/?) - Kiwific

Trixie and Katya were best friends for six long years. Growing up, summers spent at her aunt’s in Trixie’s small Tennessee hometown were the high points of Katya’s year. After her parents split and those holidays stopped, they lost touch for a while, their lives both unfolding in different ways. Now, after a messy breakup and an unexpected gift of a certain farmhouse, Katya finds herself living in the last place she would have expected. Everything is the same, yet so, so different. Not only because of her sudden crush on a certain blonde musician…but that definitely doesn’t help.

Notes:

Hi, it’s your local delusional flightless bird/piece of fuzzy fruit here. I can’t believe I’m finally getting around to uploading some of this. It’s been an absolute mess of words and ideas on my computer for months now. The idea from this came from a mixture of listening to ‘Little Sister" off Trixie’s album far too many times, mixed with my own feelings of living in a small rural town. I’m pretty sure at least part of it came to me in a dream. Any-who, this is still a WIP. I have a few chapters edited into a semblance of a story and the rest just kind of lives in my head until I find the motivation to actually write it down. Cool? Cool. Enjoy, comment, like, abuse me, whatever floats your boat.

Notes: Katya is 26, Trixie is 25.

Bronte (Trixie’s town) is named after Charlotte Bronte. Because I’m a literary nerd. Bronte is in no way a real place, I’m not even American so feel free to point out any glaring errors in that respect.

Also on AO3 under Kiwific <3 Come share the love.

It’s been a long time since you came around,

Been a long time but I’m back in town

And this time I’m not leaving without you…

Dear Trixie

I hope it isn’t too weird that I’m writing to you like this after all this time. I know - Facebook is a thing that exists, and a much faster way of communicating, right? I unashamedly stalked your page and it looks to me like your parents still live in the same house you grew up in, so I’m assuming this will get to you somehow. Hell, you live in Bronte - the postman has probably known you since you were two, has kids that went to middle school with you, and knows exactly where you are at any given time.

Anywho, the reason I’m writing is that, well, I found our old letters when I was packing up my apartment and wanted to tell you this the old-fashioned way. I know it’s been a while since we talked, but you’re going to want to hear this…

I’m moving to Bronte!

I can hear your disbelief from here, and seriously, I know. What the actual fuck, Katya, right? Believe me, I’ve been asking myself that question enough when it comes to understanding the decision on a philosophical level, so let me just give you the facts:

When Aunt Stevie died, she left her house to me and Anya. Annie moved to Russia last year and couldn’t give a flying fuck what happens to the place, so I guess it’s mostly mine.

I’m a college graduate and a free house is definitely something that makes my future look much less ugly (loans are painful and I want to eat something other than ramen before I’m thirty).

Recent developments in my life have made me want to get far, far away from New York, and what could be further than Bronte?

Anyway, I’ll be there mid June! I’d love to catch up if you’re around and reminisce on old times… like the time we made toffee “apples” for the town fair, except they were really onions. And the time I made your friend cry when she wanted to be Baby Spice for that concert we put on fat your church (you were the best Baby Spice ever, by the way). I can already smell that sweet nineties nostalgia.

Please message me when you get this, I don’t expect you to write back, plus I might be out of this apartment by then. The sooner the better, in my honest opinion.

See you soon!

Katya

P.S. Fact number 5 - I miss you.

June

Katya could feel the dust in the air before she even stepped out of the car. She stretched her jean-clad legs out in front of her, feeling the heat heavy in the air as she stood up. Placing her hands at the small of her back, she groaned, feeling the effects of her two-day drive seep into her bones. Looking around, Katya (not for the first time ) questioned the wisdom of her decision to relocate to a southern state in the middle of a scorching summer. The whole plan was absolute insanity - who would have ever thought in a hundred years that she would move to Tennessee. This wasn’t the first time she’d had second, third, or even fourth thoughts about the move, and looking around at the picturesque town around her did very little to ease her nerves.

How the fuck did she end up back here?

Logically, the plan made sense. She had free accommodation here - a house that, beyond all belief, was hers alone. She would have time to write, time to sort her shit out. Time to stop moping over Rachel and get her head back in a healthy space. That, or she would slowly go insane with boredom. Or forced out of town by dyke-hating, pitchfork-wielding townsfolk. Too far?

Above her, the gas station sign leered down.

Bronte, Tennessee. Last gas stop for 20 miles!

Katya snorted to herself. Last anything for thirty miles, more like.

Filling up her ancient, cherry-red BMW, Katya peered down the main street. It had been approximately eleven years since she’d last been here.  Growing up, her aunt Stevie had an old farmhouse just out of town. They would fly (sometimes drive, to Katya and Anya’s mutual horror) and stay for weeks in the summer, Katya and her sister spending the long, hot days playing in the fields, climbing trees and swimming in the river.

Katya barely remembered the town itself, but a few things stood out: the general store with its array of mismatched soda signs, the diner with the hideous pale pink facade (still faded and chipped after all this time), and the water tower looming over the long line of shops. It had been years, but to Katya it looked like nothing had changed. She felt her cynicism draining away as she looked around, fond memories of her childhood drowning out the panicked voice in her head telling her this move was a mistake.

They had stopped coming here when Katya’s dad walked out - a disappearing act to rival any world-famous magician- and while Stevie tried to keep in touch, it got too hard for Katya’s mom to stay close to her ex-husband’s family. Stevie had always sent birthday cards, though. Right up until the year she got sick. Katya’s mom didn’t know what killed her, but no one was more surprised than Katya herself when a lawyer showed up at her apartment in New York with the news that Stevie’s three-bedroom farmhouse in hicksville had been left to Katya and Anya. Anya wasn’t extremely interested in the news, she was enjoying her new life in Russia with mom’s family. Katya didn’t think she cared either, maybe one day they could sell the house and use the money for their own city apartments…

Until the shitstorm happened with Rachel.

She had been utterly blindsided when Rachel walked out, she had to admit that. One minute, Rachel was moving in with her and Katya was thinking about their happy future together. The next, Rachel was packing, leaving a broken Katya alone on their bedroom floor as she walked out. Katya should have seen it coming, and the fact that she didn’t was one of the things that had hurt so much.

The petrol pump stopped and Katya shook her head, trying to clear her suddenly foggy thoughts. Enough of that. She was away from Rachel and from New York. As far away as she felt she could possibly get. This wasn’t some bullshit heartbroken woman moves to the country to find herself after a breakup saga, this was just her… getting away from everything in the city that would sabotage her. Getting away from the version of herself that she was spiraling back into before making the decision to move here. Saving some cash in the process too, because hey - free accommodation would do a wonder on her savings.

Moving her car to one of the parks at the front of the station, Katya decided to take a walk and visit some old haunts. She had planned to head to the house first and come back into town when she’d settled in a little, but something was gnawing at the back of her mind. Someone, rather.

Trixie.

When Katya had written to her friend, she’d been a little overwhelmed at the excited reply. Trixie had messaged her the minute she received the letter announcing her move, and for a while there her excitement was contagious. Katya couldn’t help but feel a knot of anxiety when it came to seeing Trixie in the flesh again, though. What if it was awkward? What if they didn’t know how to talk to each other anymore? What if they had both changed too much?

Trixie had been Katya’s best friend for the better part of six years, despite the fact that they only ever saw each other in the summer. They had met one scalding hot day down by the river at the back of Stevie’s property - Katya and Annie went there everyday to cool down, and Trixie and her brother were swimming with their dad. A precocious eight year old Katya had snobbishly told seven year old Trixie that it was her auntie’s river and that her Barbie swimsuit was gross and too pink. Trixie had pushed her in the river.

They were best friends from that day on. Every summer, Katya counted down the days to their trip to Bronte, marking the days off in her diary (black, with a wolf howling at the moon on it. She had been a weird kid). They swam, played in the fields, terrorized the locals of Bronte year after year. They told each other everything, sharing their deepest secrets, navigating the joys and disappointments of growing up. When they weren’t together, they wrote to each other. Almost every week, Katya would get a letter on brightly colored Lisa Frank stationary, Trixie’s neat handwriting filling the pages. Her own letters were scrawled back as fast as she could write them, words falling from her as she tried to fit her thoughts onto the small pages. When Katya’s parents started fighting, Trixie was the first person to know. When Trixie got her first period, Katya had been the person she had written to.

When Katya’s dad left, she’d written a letter to Trixie that had to be at least seven pages long. She had been so angry, so scared, so worried about what to to when her mom barely came out of her room. Trixie told her everything would be okay, and it was. Eventually, it was. The next summer, however, had confirmed Katya’s growing suspicions. They didn’t go back to Bronte.

She and Trixie had kept up their friendship through letters and occasional phone calls, but these tapered off over time. New friendships came along, more for Trixie than for Katya, but eventually the letters stopped all together. Katya thought of her sometimes when looking at the photos in her mom’s old albums - her favourite was one of the two of them passed out on a mattress in the back of a pickup truck after a party at Stevie’s place, straw in Trixie’s thick hair and a blanket covering the two of them.

A few years ago, Trixie had sought her out on Facebook and they had talked occasionally, reminiscing about old times. Katya didn’t realize until she shamelessly stalked Trixie’s profile how much she had genuinely missed the other girl, and she’d been startled to realize she was crying after finding the same picture of them in the truck in an album Trixie had labelled ‘Old times’.

Katya couldn’t help but steel herself for disappointment as she prepared for the move to Bronte. She logically knew that things couldn’t be like they used to be - there was no way they could just pick up where they left off and be as close as they had been, and that was fine. They had been kids. Trixie had her life her, her friends, she probably didn’t need Katya hanging around all the time. Katya wanted to try, though, she wanted to give their friendship a second shot.

In truth, a friend was what she desperately needed right now.

[anonymous-wolf22]

Survey 8

Last time you were attacked by an animal?

Today, about 6 hours ago.

Are you paranoid all the time or just during the night?

Neither.

Have you ever dated someone without knowing their name?

No, why the fuck would anyone do that?

Has a stranger ever asked for your phone/cell number?

No.

Would you help a friend bury a dead body?

Yes. Depending on which friend.

Do you have bad posture?

Sometimes.

Have you ever spelled the word ‘grammar’ wrong?

No, I’m a fucking great speller.

If someone cusses/swears a lot, do you assume they have bad grammar?

No, you know what they say about assuming things, you just make an ass out of u and me.

Is there someone you are avoiding?

Yes.

Is there someone that is avoiding you?

.....

Would you only date people that have the same skin tone as you?

FUCK NO!!! Racist motherfucker.

Are your parents/guardians picky about who you date?

Heh, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but not them. They can fuck off.

If you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet, how much do you really eat?

A lottttt

If you need to ask a question in class do you raise your hand?

Used to. That’s what like everyone’s teachers wanted them to do in school.

How about speak out loud?

No, we would’ve gotten in trouble for that.

How many times have you been engaged (if any at all)?

Just once, and it’s the best thing ever~

What do you think of the United States?

Ew, fuck. I absolutely hate it. Get me outta this fucking country now please.

Is the United States really the best country in the world?

Definitely not. My answer is a biased answer though.

Do you know where your femur is?

I...think so....?

Do you believe everything you read?

No.

Do you have to see something to really believe it?

Depending on what we’re talking about.

Have you ever gotten so dehydrated that you passed out?

Yes.

If your friend was being cheated on, would you tell them?

Fuck yeah. It wouldn’t be nice to let my friend get hurt like that. It’s easier to tell them sooner rather than later. 

Are you allowed to go off school campus to eat lunch?

Only when we were Juniors. That was the minimum grade for it.

Have you ever been called something and you didn’t know what it meant?

I think so, yeah.

Do you believe everyone is gifted with something?

Yes.

Are you sick and tired of life?

Eh, so-so.

Are you loving life?

Not really life itself, but what I have gotten out of being alive~

Have you ever been busted for underage drinking?

Have yet to drink.

Would you ever change your whole appearance?

If my boyfriend wanted me to, yes, in an instant.

Do you easily give into peer pressure?

No.

Do you have a picture of you and your lover kissing?

Not yet~

Would you become a mathematician if you could?

Fuck no, I hate math and I’m terrible at it.

Have you witnessed a fight at school?

Yes.

Have you ever wanted to grab someone by the throat and squeeze until their head explodes?

Yessss.

Anywho, what’s your favorite movie?

Suicide Squad 1 and Deadpool 1 & 2.

Any movies you’re just dying to see?

Lord of The Rings.

How’s the love life?

Fuck, best thing ever~

Do you have a messy signature?

Not really.

What color are your nails at the moment?

They aren’t colored.

When’s the last time you got a text?

Like 10 minutes ago.

What song is currently resonating through your ear drums?

Hold On - Chord Overstreet and Baby Don’t Cut - Bmike.

What’s your greatest fear?

Being separated from my fiance and dying alone.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

4.

Would you consider yourself morbid?

Yes.

Do you keep your nails long or short?

I have a habbit on chewing my nails, but I do want them to be semi-long.

What was the last thing you said out loud?

"She said 11 pm! Where did you get 9 pm from?!”

What was the last thing you stopped yourself from saying?

That I want to move to England.

Who was the last person to call you baby?

My fiance~

Does your name begin with the letter J?

No.

C?

No.

R?

No.

K?

Yes.

S?

No.

Do you need a shower at the moment?

No.

Do you use Bing.com?

No.

What’s the last thing you looked up on any search engine?

’Surveys | Bold what applies to you’

Have you ever considered a career as a porn star?

Nope.

What was the last lie you told?

That I don’t have a partner/boyfriend/fiance/SO

Do you remember the last thing you typed in a Word document?

Yeah, it was another survey that was private for my fiance.

How many pictures do you have saved on your computer?

Of me? None. Of anime/other things? Tons.

Would you consider yourself artistic?

Maybe.

Has anyone told you that you were a good writer?

Nope.

^Do you believe them?

Believe what?

What all do you have pierced?

Ears.

Are there any piercings your currently waiting to get?

No.

What color is your phone?

Gray. 

When was the last time you sneezed?

The other day.

When was the last time you shaved?

Last night.

What’s the longest you’ve ever had your hair?

It's at it's longest right now, halfway down my back.

Are you sleepy at the moment?

No.

What can you see through the window closest to you?

Barely anything, it’s too dark. But I kind of see my mailbox and G-MA’s car.

Have you ever just wanted a re-do on life?

No.

Who/what did you last take a picture of?

My cat.

Do you take pictures of yourself just for Myspace or Facebook?

No.

What were you like 5 years ago?

I was 16 and a major bad boy/play boy and emo.

10?

I was 12, and was very silent.

15?

I was 7 and in love with Usher.

Have you ever wanted a mohawk? A real, 2-foot tall, multicolored mohawk?

No.

When was the last time you spent over $10.00?

Oh, $10, I thought it said $10,000 lol. That would be yesterday’s groceries.

Take a guess - do you have more pairs of socks or underwear?

Socks.

Do you think you could hop on one leg to your kitchen without falling?

Yes, I have good balance - my cat on the other hand..... just knocks my books down as I’m writing this ;-;

Right now, are you wearing eyeliner?

No.

Are you better or worse off than you were two years ago?

Eh, better I guess.

As a kid, what was your favorite playground activity?

The Monkey Bars.

Who do you wish karma would bite in the ass?

My ENTIRE Family!

Have you ever given yourself a google diagnosis when you were sick?

Probably.

Could you (willingly) go ten days without touching a computer?

No, because that would be 10 days of not talking to my fiance.

Have you ever dropped anything in a toilet on accident?

I keep having a vague memory of dropping toilet paper in the toilet....but I don’t really know for sure.

BAM! Chocolate no longer exists. Do you miss it?

GIVE IT BACK YOU MONSTER!!!!!

What is the most annoying sound in your opinion?

Hmmm.... I don’t really know.

QUICK! Fill in the blanks: I wish that _______ would kiss me right now.

My fiance~

Who have you texted today?

My fiance.

Who did you last have over your house, why were they there?



...John, ugh. He was here to help my grandma with life insurance stuff, he works at State Farm and is a ‘friend’ of the family.

What was the last thing to piss you off?



Me. Cause I fell asleep.

Recently, who in your house has gotten on your nerves the most?



Shit, that’s a tie between my brother and my Mom.

What all has pissed you off today, if anything at all?


Not much, just the dogs that tried to bite me when I was riding my bike down the road today.

What does the 10th text in your inbox say?

That a new chapter to a fan-fiction book series I’m reading was released.

How about the 20th sent text?



Haven’t sent anything.

Out of all of your friends, who have you gotten in the worst fight with?



Hmm, probably David. When he had a migraine and told me he was going to lay down and I messaged him like 30 minutes later :( I regret it.

Who was the last person to have to deal with you having an attitude?



My Mom.

If you had $100, how would you spend it?



Is that enough to buy a plane ticket to England?

What’s something you would love to have happen right now?



To move to England and cuddle with my fiance.

You were given the opportunity to get a new cellular device, what do you choose?



Any phone, as long as I could text and send images to my fiance.

How nice of a person are you, honestly?

I'm nice, yeah. But piss me off and you'll be sorry.

What good things have happened today?



Me and my fiance talked.

Is there something you should be doing right now, besides this survey?



Eh, sleeping.

Who was the last person you made plans with?


My Mum.

How many days until your birthday?

I can't be bothered counting, but it's 5 months away.

How old was the last person you kissed?

Haven’t kissed anyone yet.

When do you usually get up in the morning?

Depends on when I go to bed. Varies from 2 am to 6 pm usually.

Where is your favorite place to be when you are sad?

In the dm’s with my fiance.

Do you have any nicknames?

K, (fiance’s nicknames for me:) Kitten, Kitty~

Who was the last person to make you smile?

My fiance.

What color is the floor in the room you are in?

It’s a carpet that’s like a dark-blue-gray-mix.

Have you ever been in a confessional?

??

Do you have blue eyes?

Yes.

Do you have red hair?

No.

Are you Jewish?

No.

Are you taller than 5’6?

Nope ;-;

Are you closer in age to a 10 year old or a 30 year old?

30.

Have you ever broken a finger?

Yes.

What color was the last car you were in?

Red.

Do you have a curfew?

I’m 22, wtf do you think??

Have you ever made out with someone who was just a friend?

Yep.

What month were you born?

July.

How long is your hair?

Halfway down my back.

Do you prefer baths or showers?

Either or.

What would you do if your parents died suddenly?

I can’t wait, I’d be celebrating.

How old will you be in 7 years?

29.

What is the closest holiday to your birthday?

July 4th, Independence Day.

Was today a good day?

Yeah.

What does your last incoming text say, who was it from, and how do you feel about that person?

It;s from twitch notifying me that a channel I followed has went live. And I feel nothing to them.

Did you have a New Year’s kiss?

No.

Are there any words that you cannot pronounce or that you pronounce incorrectly?

Yep.

After a long day at work or of doing something physical what tends to hurt more? Your back or your feet?

My Legs and feet.

Do you have a smart phone? If so, what’s your favorite app?

Nope.

Who would you say is the overall best person you know, and why?

My fiance~ Because, I know everything about him, and I would die for him or kill for him, I don’t do that for many people.

If you had to choose between being a nurse or an English teacher which would you choose and why?

English, because I like spelling.

Do you have a specific gas station you usually go to? Or do you stop wherever?

----

How much older than you was the oldest person you have dated/had a relationship with?

I am 22 and he is 29~ You do the math.

Is anything stressing you out at the moment?

No.

What is your opinion on dating someone who already had a child/children from a previous relationship?

It doesn’t bother me, in fact, bring them on over :3 I love and adore kids, and can’t wait to adopt. Heck, my fiance already has a son and even though I have yet to meet him face-to-face, I already consider him mine~

Have you ever actually found a mascara that makes a huge difference for your lashes?

I don’t wear ANY make-up.

Would you rather have one or two great facial features that stand out, or have just an overall pretty face but have no special features?

Overall pretty.

Do you have any plans for Valentine’s Day? Did you do anything last Valentine’s Day?

No, just bought chocolate for da fam.

Do you check your horoscope daily? If so, did you relate to your horoscope at all today?

Never done it.

When you need to remember something how do you usually go about doing so?

Putting it on the calendar.

How would you describe someone that is your type of guy/girl?

My fiance of course~ Tall, strong, loves gaming, loves kids and the idea of a family, older than me, is a sadist~ Full on bad side, and is the Alpha to My Beta~

Have you recently accomplished anything that you are proud of yourself for?

Just avoiding death earlier today thanks to those doggos.

Are you still friends with any of your exes? Do you still communicate with any of them at all?

Yes and no. It’s complicated.

What is your opinion on people that shop at Sephora for makeup as opposed to buying makeup from the drugstore?

?

Do you live on your own or with your parents/a roommate? Do you think you’d like to live alone?

I live with my family currently. Can’t wait till I move to England though, then I will be with my fiance forever~

How often would you say you use Microsoft Word?

Only when I feel like it or need to.

How often do you typically change your bra?

I don’t wear bra’s.

What is the last online purchase you made?

Nothing.

Do you usually have bad symptoms around “that time of the month”?

I’m a guy ;-;

Is there anyone you have to see on a daily/weekly basis that you really dislike?

.....

Is your hair thick or thin? Would you say it’s easy to manage?

It was thin for awhile but now it’s becoming more thick. And it’s okay.

Have you ever had to deal with any type of long distance relationship, whether it be a romantic relationship or a friendship?

Yes, I’m currently in one. I’m in USA and my fiance is in England, like 5k miles away. (love you baby~)

Are you procrastinating doing anything right now?

Editing my next video to upload on YouTube.

How do you feel about being called sweetie/dear/honey/etc.?

I love it!

Have you ever had a thing for/relationship with a coworker? How did it end?

Don’t have a job yet.

What would you say is your worst habit?

Chewing on my nails or unintentionally avoiding my friends.

Do you have a place you go to a lot that you may be considered “a regular” at?

Probably.

What is the weather currently like where you live?

It's calm and clear and cloudless. It's 12 am.

Do you have any plans for Mardi Gras?

Don’t know.

[willreadforbooze]

Hello fellow boozie readers!

Sam’s Update:

I can officially say that I’m in my 30s… happy birthday to me!! We also went to ALA, which is like BookCon but so much more chill. As of this posting, I’m probably still there, since it ends today at 2pm. Anywho, I’ve been in more of a Netflix mood, not a reading mood, but here you go.

What Sam finished this week:

The Wicked King by Holly Black: Welp, coulda called that one. Jude is still so dumb. But I enjoyed listening to this.

What Sam’s reading now:

  Kingdom of the Blazing Phoenix by Julie C. Dao: Literally just started it, btu this is the follow up to Forest of a Thousand Lanterns reviewed here.

The Simoquin Prophecies by Samit Basu: Book club book. Reserving all comment until bookclub is over.

Ginny’s Update:

This is a judgement free zone (if you like to ignore the fact that reviews are pretty much pure judgment, in this case I mean no one is gonna judge me). Lots of romance novels again. Plus I had a fun thing happen this weekend where I was too dizzy to function because vertigo is a bitch. Unfortunately I’m a dummy and used that time to sleep instead of read. So, you’re welcome Sam, there aren’t too many covers to find.

Currently Reading:

The Brazen and the Beast by Sarah MacLean: This is one of the ARC’s I got from bookcon. Sarah MacLean is a delight to follow on twitter and writes some really fun heroines. I know Linz didn’t have much luck with the last book, but I am enjoying this one. Hattie has a plan for her year and isn’t gong to let anything get in her way. ‘Beast,’ a moniker that’s labeled as ridiculous in the book, is going to get in her way. All she wants is to take over her father’s shipping business. He has unfinished drama that I’m going to be honest, I don’t super care about at the moment…. 🙂

After the Crown by K.B. Wagers:  I read the first book in this series earlier this year and as the triology is already complete wanted to keep up with it. Hail, who is now empress, is still dealing with the fallout of the attempted coup etc and the case of characters from the previous book is there to help her deal. This is kind of like Firefly meets Star Wars.

Finished Reading:

Luck of the Draw by Kate Clayborn: This was exactly what I thought it would be. The drama was exactly what I thought it would be. Ultimately I still super enjoyed this book as the character growth from hate to friendly to love seemed to make sense. The story happened over weeks and didn’t start at immediate love (I’m kind of sick of “I’ve known this person for five minutes and already I would die for them” story lines). So yes, it was a solid choice. 3.5/5

The Suffragette Scandal by Courtney Milan: Yup, another romance novel. The library blessed me. “Free” runs a newspaper for women that is about as feminist as a newspaper in ye olden dayes can be. Edward Clark was left for dead by his aristocratic family and has adopted a fake name and been a conman for the last oh seven years. He’s trying to protect and old friend and decides to use Free to help. Unfortunately his dick of a brother is going to cause lots o problems. Free was a ton of fun and has a wonderful point of view on things, and I really enjoyed the arguments between her and Edward. He’s so cynical but really well meaning beneath everything else. 4/5.

Unmasked by the Marquess by Cat Sebastian:  I’m not going to bother with a full summary here but this book is fucking wild. Robin, our non-binary hero lives life to the fullest and knows she (I promise this is talked about in the book, I’m not misgendering her) will never get what she truly wants. Because Alistair has a stick up his ass and bumbles his way through anything real because he’s spent too many years trying to ‘fix’ his fathers mistakes. They fall in love and do so much stupid stuff. But honestly this book is a trip. I highly suggest it. 4/5

DNF:

I Love You so Mochi by Sarah Kuhn: I do plan on picking this one back up, but now wasn’t the time. It’s part of the reason I read so much romance is I just really didn’t feel like picking this one up again.

The Tiger at Midnight by Swati Teerdhala: Man, I adored the world of this book. I could read straight up history textbooks about this world. Unfortunately, I really didn’t care for either of the two main characters. I got about 40% of the way in, and didn’t understand why they felt drawn to each other, didn’t care about the contest. I honestly just wanted to learn more about how the original treaties came to be, about how the matriarchal society functioned, what the change was like. I would have read a book set 10 years before this book was placed. I just didn’t care for it. It wasn’t bad, just not the story I wanted it to be.

Minda’s Update:

ALA was amazing! Picked up so many new releases and ARCs.

What Minda finished:

Kingsbane by Claire Legrand – The most feels I’ve had from a book in awhile! I still can’t process everything.

What Minda put down:

Dry by Neal Shusterman and Jarrod Shusterman – Taken back by the library, but honestly I was only like one page in.

What Minda is reading now:

The Simoquin Prophecies by Samit Basu – Book club book, enough said.

Wilder Girls by Rory Power – Just picked this one up from ALA! A school for girls is under quarantine and one of the students is finding answers—mystery and intrigue. Comes out July 9, so hoping to finish before then.

Linz’s Update:

WHY DID WE GO TO ALA WE ARE FASHIONING OURSELVES INTO MONSTERS. I’m officially a book Gollum.

What Linz read:

Stepsister by Jennifer Donnelly: The tiniest of dents has been made in my ARC pile. Minda and I have to have words on this book, because I have some feelings

The Care and Feeding of Ravenously Hungry Girls by Anissa Gray: GIRL WHERE DO I START. This was so damn good, you should all read this immediately. I bought a copy. You can borrow it. Just like start it now.

With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo: If I had known better, I would not have read this and The Care and Feeding in the same week, Jesus Mary and Joseph I cried a lot. Acevedo’s second offering is about a high school senior who is VERY talented at cooking, and struggles to juggle college applications, work, and her toddler daughter. I’m so exhausted that I’m not giving it its due, but this may be one of my favorite books this year. It’s beautiful, balanced, and I’m so glad it exists.

What Linz is reading now:

I’ll be honest, I’ve been trudging away at Jade City, and I think I just picked the wrong time to read it, or maybe it’s just not for me. I’m shelving it tonight and starting…

Swipe Right for Murder: Derek Milman – We picked this up at BookCon and saw it again at ALA. People have been going crazy for it on social media. From Goodreads: “On the run from the FBI. Targeted by a murderous cult. Labeled a cyber-terrorist by the media. Irritated texts from his best friend. Eye contact with a nice-looking guy on the train. Aidan has a lot to deal with, and he’s not quite sure which takes top priority.”

Until next time, we remain forever drunkenly yours,

Sam, Melinda, Linz, and Ginny

Weekly Wrap-Up: June 17-23, 2019 Hello fellow boozie readers! Sam's Update: I can officially say that I'm in my 30s... happy birthday to me!!

[samanthasroberts]

21 People Share The Time ‘Truth Or Dare’ Got Completely Out Of Control

1.More Than You Bargained For

At a sleepover in junior high we dared our friend to strip down to his underwear…you know, homoerotic pubescent stuff. He comes out from the other room completely naked and gyrating, saying “You got more than you bargained for!”

2.What A Wild Ride

This girl asked her friend to dare someone to have unprotected sex with her. When he received the dare he literally just got up and walked out the house. Then the girl gets drunk, tries it on with a few guys there (to which they all rejected), confessed her love to another guy there, threatened to kill herself, then fell asleep.

3.And He Finished

When a guy I didn’t know was dared to jack off under a blanket and finish while everyone watched. Everyone watched…

4.An Truth Nobody Wanted To Know

At a party someone asked “Who gave you the best blowjob ever?” hoping to get a compliment. Instead, we found out that the man had received a BJ from every woman there and one of the men. That started a long chain of “Wait Bob had sex with Sally? When?” etc. Names changed, feelings were hurt.

5.The Making Of A Serial Killer

My friends little brother (9 or 10 years old) came in and dared one of the girls to slit her finger open, put a paperclip into her finger then stick that paperclip into an electrical outlet while it was still in her finger. After we told him no he offered a replacement dare, which was to go down the street and burn down the church.

6. Vick’s VapoRub

It was around 1998 or so. My buddy had gotten kicked out of his house, and had emotional issues stemming from living with narcissists, Tourettes Syndrome, and being an introvert. He was also having “girl trouble”, as he was the sort of guy who would fall HARD in love with any girl who gave him the time of day, let alone showed any interest in him.

Anywho, my family took him in and let him crash there for a few weeks while his folks came to their senses. He’s laying on the floor of my room, and I know he wants to talk about his issues. But he’s the sort of person that wants the cover of it “being a game” in case he says something that someone is put off by. So, in order to let him get something off his chest, I asked him “Truth or Dare?” and it starts probably 3 or so hours of him talking about his shit.

Now, I’ve gotta work in the morning, and by this time he’s just rehashing shit he’s already said. So in an effort to attempt to get some sleep, I tell him “either you pick Dare, or I roll over and ignore your ass”. Still to this day, I don’t know why he did it… But he picked Dare.

I had just gotten over being sick, with bad bronchitis. Sitting on my nightstand is a jar of Vicks Vap-o-Rub. Trying to think of something that would end this, without blatantly telling him “I dare you to STFU so I can sleep” I spy the bottle on my little nightstand and I backhand swat it to him.

“I dare you to rub this on your scrotum.”

He looks at it, unscrews the cap, and sniffs the bottle. Dunno if it was to verify it was genuine Vicks, or if he’d never used it before, but he did. Then he asked me how much to use.

“Two fingers in the jar, run them around the inside.”

He does so and comes up with an amount equivalent to a golf ball. I see his hand disappear down into the sleeping bag and see motions that are indicative of someone playing with their balls. He pulls his hand out, sniffs it again, and asks “What’s that supposed to dooooAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

His eyes go wide, he clutches his junk, and curls into the fetal position. I’m burying my face in my pillow because I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe. I don’t want to wake up my parents across the hall, so I’m muffling as much laughter as I can while my friend lies in agony.

Finally I get enough air in my lungs to tell him to go wash it off. My friend proceeds to stand up in the sleeping bag and bunny-hop down the hall to the bathroom. I hear the sounds of the faucet being turned on full-blast followed by a very relieved “AHHHHHHH” come from the bathroom.

About five minutes go by and my buddy comes back into my room, sleeping bag over his shoulder and hand around his crotch. He’s taking baby-steps as he comes back to the spot on the floor he was at before, lays down, and mumbles softly “It didn’t help.”

Many, many years later I force him to revisit this particularly shameful incident when I make him a Vicks Cake for his 30th birthday.

We’re still friends. He’s like a brother to me.

7.Is There A Problem, Officer?

There was a time we were playing truth or dare in a hot tub. A girl friend of ours had dared me to get hard in front of everyone. So I get up out of the tub and start playing with myself. Then from around the corner of the house I get a flashlight in my face.

That was the time I masturbated in front of a police officer.

8.An Indecent Proposal

Friend got dared by his girlfriend to have sex with her in the other room and finish inside her (no birth control). He refused, they broke up, we found out it was a setup she had planned to get herself preggies and force him to marry her. Strange night.

9.Hold My Beer

“Bet you can’t jump that ditch.” Four hours later the guy had dislocated one of shoulders the doctor told us.

10. Jealous Times At University

In my first or second year of UNI my group of friends and I were having a get together after finals ended. Considering finals had just ended and it was only about 7 of us, consuming alcohol seemed like the go to activity.

So once the buzz started to hit us one of my friends tried to start a game of spin the bottle, but being a group of three couples and one single guy we decided to play truth or dare instead.

Like all truth or dare games it started out pretty innocently (Take more shots, who’s your celebrity crush, ect), but eventually things turned a bit weird. Our one single guy decided to dare one of the girls to lick whipped cream off of his schlong, and with a reluctant nod from her boyfriend she got to action. Or…at least tried to.

Once she took off the dude’s pants and saw his (well) hung appendage she yells “Damn I’ve never seen one this big!” And before she could even uncap the whipped cream her boyfriend was swinging full force at the guy. Me and my other friend had to get in between a half naked guy and a drunk ape, and by the time we split them up everyone was uncomfortable as hell. After we resolved it and me and my girlfriend started leaving I just remember her leaning up to my ear and telling me “She knew her boyfriend was self conscious about his dick.”

11. At McDonald’s, In Your Underwear

Probably 20years old at the time. Gf her sister and girl cousin from Germany were in the car. Cousin says let’s play and so we all said OK. All fun and games till we pull over into a McDonald’s parking lot and I get dared to walk in and order fries in my underwear. They drove off and I had to borrow the phone to call my gf to make them come back for me. Saw all the tits though, so it was worth it.

12. It Just Became A Giant Orgy

I found out my fiance’s bachelorette party was basically an orgy. I found out years later from someone who was in attendance. I think the fun began as a Truth or Dare game. A co-worker of my wife’s ate her out. Two men staying on the same hotel floor fucked my wife-to-be and her friend. I had no idea until after our divorce. It’s funny…my bachelor party was so tame. We grilled and walked downtown to a couple bars and were back by midnight. Who knew?

13.Why Not Both…Or All?

At my first job, back when I was a teenager, about 6 of us were playing this mid-shift. 3 girls, 3 guys. It was barely starting to get risqu and one of the guys is asked “have you ever masturbated to thoughts of a coworker?” And he says yes.

This is as juicy as it’s gotten, so we latch onto it. The next time around, he’s asked if he’s masturbated to anyone else playing. He says yes. Next round, he’s asked to name which of us he’s jerked it to. He looks at us one by one, then says “all of you.” The guys all got flustered as hell, they’d never even realized they were on the roster.

14. It Was All He Had

I think my most exciting game of truth or dare was cut down in its prime when a guy dared his girlfriend to flash everyone and then broke down crying because now everyone had seen her bikini zone and he no longer felt special.

15. The Wrong Hole

When I was 17, I was “studying” with a girl who started a game of truth or dare with me. I hadn’t kissed since 4th grade, and we were clearly into each other. The game started with me as the asker. She chose dare. Me being the naive, socially awkward individual that I am, dared her to touch the bottom of my family’s shared toilet (which was actually really clean). She resisted, but eventually did it. When my turn came around I chose dare, it was only fair to do so after what I just put her through. She dared me to finger her. At the moment I was ecstatic. As we made our way to the sauna adjoining the bathroom a rush of terror came over me. I had no idea how to do what I was about to do. I’d basically never kissed, and now I was about to finger this chick. Anyways, we get into the sauna and its pitch black. I feel around and find her pelvic region. As I work my way down I try to recollect the very few pornos I’d seen to that point. I start feeling around and wiggling my finger side to side. She jerked her whole body back and exclaimed, “too low!” I quickly realized that I had fingered the wrong hole. And slide it (the same finger) up to her vag. After about 10 seconds she said I was doing it too hard, and about 20 seconds later she stopped me completely. Needless to say, it was a short lived study session.

16.She Went Above And Waaaay Beyond

We told her she had to kiss the dog, we didn’t think she was going to use tongue. After that we just didn’t want to play anymore.

17. A Disastrous Ending

This is a growing up pre-internet disclaimer. Seeing boobs was elusive if you had no access to a “porn stash”. I didn’t. So you’d see them in movies…and no pausing them mind you. No VCR. You’d see the boobs then poof their gone. So over my friends house when I was 13 his older stepsister and her friend were bored and actually talking to us. They were 15. It just started. I had never played before, but I knew the rules. We had a round of Truths. Then Dares. I dared my friends stepsister to flash her boobs. SHE DID!. Real boobs. It was magical. I got dared to strip naked. All the way naked. I did very reluctantly. I had a boner and out of nowhere the stepsister touches it and instant launch. It was awful. There were screams of “ewww” and gross. She shoved me and I fell backwards. It wasn’t a good ending to what could have been a spectacular evening.

18. Lucy And Kyle Break Up

A few years ago now my friends and I all decided to try and make jello shots for the first time. We added way too much vodka to them but we all felt obligated to finish them. We took the empty handle of Smirnoff and one of my friends decided to play truth or dare spin the bottle. With all of us pretty trashed already it seemed like a good idea.

For the first few rounds it was all fine, pretty normal stuff; take a shot, go outside and eat some snow (it was winter break). But then one friend, let’s call him Kevin, decided to dare one of the girls to take off her top. Now no one at the party was single, and everyone’s respective partner was in attendance, which will be important later.

The girl Kevin asked to take her top off decided to play along and that was fine. But her boyfriend, we’ll call him Kyle, seemed to get jealous because he then made it his mission to get Kevin’s girlfriend naked. Every time it was Kyle’s turn he would find a way to target Kevin’s girlfriend. The bottle pointed to me at one point and he dared me to take off Kevin’s girlfriend’s bra (of course I did it being a team player). It didn’t take long for Kevin to pick up on this so he started to target Kyle’s girlfriend for the same purpose.

I should also mention that truth became all but ruled out around this time because anyone who opted for it would be ridiculed for choosing the “pussy option”.

Eventually Kevin, Kyle, their girlfriends (call them Emily and Lucy respectively), and everyone else in the circle, 8 of us total, we’re down to nothing but underwear bottoms. Kevin gets a turn and dares Lucy to let him take off her panties. She blushes and and tries to say no but everyone begins to cheer for her to do it. Eventually she gets up, walks over to Kevin, and he just rips off her panties and immediately buries his face in her crotch and she starts to moan and stays on his face. The room goes silent, Emily gets up and storms out of the room.

Apparently Lucy and Kevin had been cheating with each other. Kyle had been suspicious but didn’t want to risk accusing Lucy without proof. Obviously this let the cat out of the bag and what followed were some very choice words and us never hanging out with Kevin or Lucy again.

19. Middle School Is So Awful

This was at a birthday party in middle school. A late-blooming boy chose “truth” and was asked if he had pubes. He was silent for what seemed like forever, then said “no” softly, causing the room to erupt with laughter. He began to cry and had to leave the room. He didn’t come out for HOURS. He had a girlfriend at the party so I’m sure it added to the embarrassment.

20. “It Was Terrifying”

We (3 guys and 3 girls) were all in the hottub at this chick’s house playing ‘Truth or Dare’, and I get dared to go mash my dick/balls up against her parents’ bedroom window. Granted, it’s like 1am, and the whole house is completely dark, so I thought it would be no big deal.

Get out of the hottub, run over to the window, drop my suit, and smash my junk up against the window for a few moments. Then, in the reflective light of the pool, I catch a glimpse of her parents sitting right inside the window, watching us from inside. They didn’t even blink, just just watched me. It was fucking terrifying. TERRIFYING. Like, I saw them for a split fucking second as the light passed over the glass, just inches away from my mashed up dick on the other side of the window. Something from a horror movie. I gasped and ran back to the hottub, got back in, and just sat there in complete silence.

A couple minutes later, her dad comes outside laughing, hands me a beer, and then reminisces with all of us for a minute about the crazy shit he did when he was a kid.

I’ve never felt a shock like I did when I saw their faces. It still haunts me sometimes, but it all turned out better than expected.

…I was 25.

21.The Lamest House Party Ever

I was at my first ever house party. I was pretty drunk, didn’t really know many people there and wanted to impress. So naturally, when we were playing truth or dare and someone dared me to strip to my boxers and run around the garden (fully expecting me not to do it and to instead take the forfeit of five tequila shots), I actually did it. Instead of cheers of “haha, he actually did it the madman” everyone just thought I was some sort of weird pervert and hardly anyone would talk to me for the rest of the party.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/10/26/21-people-share-the-time-truth-or-dare-got-completely-out-of-control/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/10/26/21-people-share-the-time-truth-or-dare-got-completely-out-of-control/

[adambstingus]

21 People Share The Time ‘Truth Or Dare’ Got Completely Out Of Control

1.More Than You Bargained For

At a sleepover in junior high we dared our friend to strip down to his underwear…you know, homoerotic pubescent stuff. He comes out from the other room completely naked and gyrating, saying “You got more than you bargained for!”

2.What A Wild Ride

This girl asked her friend to dare someone to have unprotected sex with her. When he received the dare he literally just got up and walked out the house. Then the girl gets drunk, tries it on with a few guys there (to which they all rejected), confessed her love to another guy there, threatened to kill herself, then fell asleep.

3.And He Finished

When a guy I didn’t know was dared to jack off under a blanket and finish while everyone watched. Everyone watched…

4.An Truth Nobody Wanted To Know

At a party someone asked “Who gave you the best blowjob ever?” hoping to get a compliment. Instead, we found out that the man had received a BJ from every woman there and one of the men. That started a long chain of “Wait Bob had sex with Sally? When?” etc. Names changed, feelings were hurt.

5.The Making Of A Serial Killer

My friends little brother (9 or 10 years old) came in and dared one of the girls to slit her finger open, put a paperclip into her finger then stick that paperclip into an electrical outlet while it was still in her finger. After we told him no he offered a replacement dare, which was to go down the street and burn down the church.

6. Vick’s VapoRub

It was around 1998 or so. My buddy had gotten kicked out of his house, and had emotional issues stemming from living with narcissists, Tourettes Syndrome, and being an introvert. He was also having “girl trouble”, as he was the sort of guy who would fall HARD in love with any girl who gave him the time of day, let alone showed any interest in him.

Anywho, my family took him in and let him crash there for a few weeks while his folks came to their senses. He’s laying on the floor of my room, and I know he wants to talk about his issues. But he’s the sort of person that wants the cover of it “being a game” in case he says something that someone is put off by. So, in order to let him get something off his chest, I asked him “Truth or Dare?” and it starts probably 3 or so hours of him talking about his shit.

Now, I’ve gotta work in the morning, and by this time he’s just rehashing shit he’s already said. So in an effort to attempt to get some sleep, I tell him “either you pick Dare, or I roll over and ignore your ass”. Still to this day, I don’t know why he did it… But he picked Dare.

I had just gotten over being sick, with bad bronchitis. Sitting on my nightstand is a jar of Vicks Vap-o-Rub. Trying to think of something that would end this, without blatantly telling him “I dare you to STFU so I can sleep” I spy the bottle on my little nightstand and I backhand swat it to him.

“I dare you to rub this on your scrotum.”

He looks at it, unscrews the cap, and sniffs the bottle. Dunno if it was to verify it was genuine Vicks, or if he’d never used it before, but he did. Then he asked me how much to use.

“Two fingers in the jar, run them around the inside.”

He does so and comes up with an amount equivalent to a golf ball. I see his hand disappear down into the sleeping bag and see motions that are indicative of someone playing with their balls. He pulls his hand out, sniffs it again, and asks “What’s that supposed to dooooAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

His eyes go wide, he clutches his junk, and curls into the fetal position. I’m burying my face in my pillow because I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe. I don’t want to wake up my parents across the hall, so I’m muffling as much laughter as I can while my friend lies in agony.

Finally I get enough air in my lungs to tell him to go wash it off. My friend proceeds to stand up in the sleeping bag and bunny-hop down the hall to the bathroom. I hear the sounds of the faucet being turned on full-blast followed by a very relieved “AHHHHHHH” come from the bathroom.

About five minutes go by and my buddy comes back into my room, sleeping bag over his shoulder and hand around his crotch. He’s taking baby-steps as he comes back to the spot on the floor he was at before, lays down, and mumbles softly “It didn’t help.”

Many, many years later I force him to revisit this particularly shameful incident when I make him a Vicks Cake for his 30th birthday.

We’re still friends. He’s like a brother to me.

7.Is There A Problem, Officer?

There was a time we were playing truth or dare in a hot tub. A girl friend of ours had dared me to get hard in front of everyone. So I get up out of the tub and start playing with myself. Then from around the corner of the house I get a flashlight in my face.

That was the time I masturbated in front of a police officer.

8.An Indecent Proposal

Friend got dared by his girlfriend to have sex with her in the other room and finish inside her (no birth control). He refused, they broke up, we found out it was a setup she had planned to get herself preggies and force him to marry her. Strange night.

9.Hold My Beer

“Bet you can’t jump that ditch.” Four hours later the guy had dislocated one of shoulders the doctor told us.

10. Jealous Times At University

In my first or second year of UNI my group of friends and I were having a get together after finals ended. Considering finals had just ended and it was only about 7 of us, consuming alcohol seemed like the go to activity.

So once the buzz started to hit us one of my friends tried to start a game of spin the bottle, but being a group of three couples and one single guy we decided to play truth or dare instead.

Like all truth or dare games it started out pretty innocently (Take more shots, who’s your celebrity crush, ect), but eventually things turned a bit weird. Our one single guy decided to dare one of the girls to lick whipped cream off of his schlong, and with a reluctant nod from her boyfriend she got to action. Or…at least tried to.

Once she took off the dude’s pants and saw his (well) hung appendage she yells “Damn I’ve never seen one this big!” And before she could even uncap the whipped cream her boyfriend was swinging full force at the guy. Me and my other friend had to get in between a half naked guy and a drunk ape, and by the time we split them up everyone was uncomfortable as hell. After we resolved it and me and my girlfriend started leaving I just remember her leaning up to my ear and telling me “She knew her boyfriend was self conscious about his dick.”

11. At McDonald’s, In Your Underwear

Probably 20years old at the time. Gf her sister and girl cousin from Germany were in the car. Cousin says let’s play and so we all said OK. All fun and games till we pull over into a McDonald’s parking lot and I get dared to walk in and order fries in my underwear. They drove off and I had to borrow the phone to call my gf to make them come back for me. Saw all the tits though, so it was worth it.

12. It Just Became A Giant Orgy

I found out my fiance’s bachelorette party was basically an orgy. I found out years later from someone who was in attendance. I think the fun began as a Truth or Dare game. A co-worker of my wife’s ate her out. Two men staying on the same hotel floor fucked my wife-to-be and her friend. I had no idea until after our divorce. It’s funny…my bachelor party was so tame. We grilled and walked downtown to a couple bars and were back by midnight. Who knew?

13.Why Not Both…Or All?

At my first job, back when I was a teenager, about 6 of us were playing this mid-shift. 3 girls, 3 guys. It was barely starting to get risqu and one of the guys is asked “have you ever masturbated to thoughts of a coworker?” And he says yes.

This is as juicy as it’s gotten, so we latch onto it. The next time around, he’s asked if he’s masturbated to anyone else playing. He says yes. Next round, he’s asked to name which of us he’s jerked it to. He looks at us one by one, then says “all of you.” The guys all got flustered as hell, they’d never even realized they were on the roster.

14. It Was All He Had

I think my most exciting game of truth or dare was cut down in its prime when a guy dared his girlfriend to flash everyone and then broke down crying because now everyone had seen her bikini zone and he no longer felt special.

15. The Wrong Hole

When I was 17, I was “studying” with a girl who started a game of truth or dare with me. I hadn’t kissed since 4th grade, and we were clearly into each other. The game started with me as the asker. She chose dare. Me being the naive, socially awkward individual that I am, dared her to touch the bottom of my family’s shared toilet (which was actually really clean). She resisted, but eventually did it. When my turn came around I chose dare, it was only fair to do so after what I just put her through. She dared me to finger her. At the moment I was ecstatic. As we made our way to the sauna adjoining the bathroom a rush of terror came over me. I had no idea how to do what I was about to do. I’d basically never kissed, and now I was about to finger this chick. Anyways, we get into the sauna and its pitch black. I feel around and find her pelvic region. As I work my way down I try to recollect the very few pornos I’d seen to that point. I start feeling around and wiggling my finger side to side. She jerked her whole body back and exclaimed, “too low!” I quickly realized that I had fingered the wrong hole. And slide it (the same finger) up to her vag. After about 10 seconds she said I was doing it too hard, and about 20 seconds later she stopped me completely. Needless to say, it was a short lived study session.

16.She Went Above And Waaaay Beyond

We told her she had to kiss the dog, we didn’t think she was going to use tongue. After that we just didn’t want to play anymore.

17. A Disastrous Ending

This is a growing up pre-internet disclaimer. Seeing boobs was elusive if you had no access to a “porn stash”. I didn’t. So you’d see them in movies…and no pausing them mind you. No VCR. You’d see the boobs then poof their gone. So over my friends house when I was 13 his older stepsister and her friend were bored and actually talking to us. They were 15. It just started. I had never played before, but I knew the rules. We had a round of Truths. Then Dares. I dared my friends stepsister to flash her boobs. SHE DID!. Real boobs. It was magical. I got dared to strip naked. All the way naked. I did very reluctantly. I had a boner and out of nowhere the stepsister touches it and instant launch. It was awful. There were screams of “ewww” and gross. She shoved me and I fell backwards. It wasn’t a good ending to what could have been a spectacular evening.

18. Lucy And Kyle Break Up

A few years ago now my friends and I all decided to try and make jello shots for the first time. We added way too much vodka to them but we all felt obligated to finish them. We took the empty handle of Smirnoff and one of my friends decided to play truth or dare spin the bottle. With all of us pretty trashed already it seemed like a good idea.

For the first few rounds it was all fine, pretty normal stuff; take a shot, go outside and eat some snow (it was winter break). But then one friend, let’s call him Kevin, decided to dare one of the girls to take off her top. Now no one at the party was single, and everyone’s respective partner was in attendance, which will be important later.

The girl Kevin asked to take her top off decided to play along and that was fine. But her boyfriend, we’ll call him Kyle, seemed to get jealous because he then made it his mission to get Kevin’s girlfriend naked. Every time it was Kyle’s turn he would find a way to target Kevin’s girlfriend. The bottle pointed to me at one point and he dared me to take off Kevin’s girlfriend’s bra (of course I did it being a team player). It didn’t take long for Kevin to pick up on this so he started to target Kyle’s girlfriend for the same purpose.

I should also mention that truth became all but ruled out around this time because anyone who opted for it would be ridiculed for choosing the “pussy option”.

Eventually Kevin, Kyle, their girlfriends (call them Emily and Lucy respectively), and everyone else in the circle, 8 of us total, we’re down to nothing but underwear bottoms. Kevin gets a turn and dares Lucy to let him take off her panties. She blushes and and tries to say no but everyone begins to cheer for her to do it. Eventually she gets up, walks over to Kevin, and he just rips off her panties and immediately buries his face in her crotch and she starts to moan and stays on his face. The room goes silent, Emily gets up and storms out of the room.

Apparently Lucy and Kevin had been cheating with each other. Kyle had been suspicious but didn’t want to risk accusing Lucy without proof. Obviously this let the cat out of the bag and what followed were some very choice words and us never hanging out with Kevin or Lucy again.

19. Middle School Is So Awful

This was at a birthday party in middle school. A late-blooming boy chose “truth” and was asked if he had pubes. He was silent for what seemed like forever, then said “no” softly, causing the room to erupt with laughter. He began to cry and had to leave the room. He didn’t come out for HOURS. He had a girlfriend at the party so I’m sure it added to the embarrassment.

20. “It Was Terrifying”

We (3 guys and 3 girls) were all in the hottub at this chick’s house playing ‘Truth or Dare’, and I get dared to go mash my dick/balls up against her parents’ bedroom window. Granted, it’s like 1am, and the whole house is completely dark, so I thought it would be no big deal.

Get out of the hottub, run over to the window, drop my suit, and smash my junk up against the window for a few moments. Then, in the reflective light of the pool, I catch a glimpse of her parents sitting right inside the window, watching us from inside. They didn’t even blink, just just watched me. It was fucking terrifying. TERRIFYING. Like, I saw them for a split fucking second as the light passed over the glass, just inches away from my mashed up dick on the other side of the window. Something from a horror movie. I gasped and ran back to the hottub, got back in, and just sat there in complete silence.

A couple minutes later, her dad comes outside laughing, hands me a beer, and then reminisces with all of us for a minute about the crazy shit he did when he was a kid.

I’ve never felt a shock like I did when I saw their faces. It still haunts me sometimes, but it all turned out better than expected.

…I was 25.

21.The Lamest House Party Ever

I was at my first ever house party. I was pretty drunk, didn’t really know many people there and wanted to impress. So naturally, when we were playing truth or dare and someone dared me to strip to my boxers and run around the garden (fully expecting me not to do it and to instead take the forfeit of five tequila shots), I actually did it. Instead of cheers of “haha, he actually did it the madman” everyone just thought I was some sort of weird pervert and hardly anyone would talk to me for the rest of the party.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/10/26/21-people-share-the-time-truth-or-dare-got-completely-out-of-control/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/166806033887

[allofbeercom]

21 People Share The Time ‘Truth Or Dare’ Got Completely Out Of Control

1.More Than You Bargained For

At a sleepover in junior high we dared our friend to strip down to his underwear…you know, homoerotic pubescent stuff. He comes out from the other room completely naked and gyrating, saying “You got more than you bargained for!”

2.What A Wild Ride

This girl asked her friend to dare someone to have unprotected sex with her. When he received the dare he literally just got up and walked out the house. Then the girl gets drunk, tries it on with a few guys there (to which they all rejected), confessed her love to another guy there, threatened to kill herself, then fell asleep.

3.And He Finished

When a guy I didn’t know was dared to jack off under a blanket and finish while everyone watched. Everyone watched…

4.An Truth Nobody Wanted To Know

At a party someone asked “Who gave you the best blowjob ever?” hoping to get a compliment. Instead, we found out that the man had received a BJ from every woman there and one of the men. That started a long chain of “Wait Bob had sex with Sally? When?” etc. Names changed, feelings were hurt.

5.The Making Of A Serial Killer

My friends little brother (9 or 10 years old) came in and dared one of the girls to slit her finger open, put a paperclip into her finger then stick that paperclip into an electrical outlet while it was still in her finger. After we told him no he offered a replacement dare, which was to go down the street and burn down the church.

6. Vick’s VapoRub

It was around 1998 or so. My buddy had gotten kicked out of his house, and had emotional issues stemming from living with narcissists, Tourettes Syndrome, and being an introvert. He was also having “girl trouble”, as he was the sort of guy who would fall HARD in love with any girl who gave him the time of day, let alone showed any interest in him.

Anywho, my family took him in and let him crash there for a few weeks while his folks came to their senses. He’s laying on the floor of my room, and I know he wants to talk about his issues. But he’s the sort of person that wants the cover of it “being a game” in case he says something that someone is put off by. So, in order to let him get something off his chest, I asked him “Truth or Dare?” and it starts probably 3 or so hours of him talking about his shit.

Now, I’ve gotta work in the morning, and by this time he’s just rehashing shit he’s already said. So in an effort to attempt to get some sleep, I tell him “either you pick Dare, or I roll over and ignore your ass”. Still to this day, I don’t know why he did it… But he picked Dare.

I had just gotten over being sick, with bad bronchitis. Sitting on my nightstand is a jar of Vicks Vap-o-Rub. Trying to think of something that would end this, without blatantly telling him “I dare you to STFU so I can sleep” I spy the bottle on my little nightstand and I backhand swat it to him.

“I dare you to rub this on your scrotum.”

He looks at it, unscrews the cap, and sniffs the bottle. Dunno if it was to verify it was genuine Vicks, or if he’d never used it before, but he did. Then he asked me how much to use.

“Two fingers in the jar, run them around the inside.”

He does so and comes up with an amount equivalent to a golf ball. I see his hand disappear down into the sleeping bag and see motions that are indicative of someone playing with their balls. He pulls his hand out, sniffs it again, and asks “What’s that supposed to dooooAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

His eyes go wide, he clutches his junk, and curls into the fetal position. I’m burying my face in my pillow because I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe. I don’t want to wake up my parents across the hall, so I’m muffling as much laughter as I can while my friend lies in agony.

Finally I get enough air in my lungs to tell him to go wash it off. My friend proceeds to stand up in the sleeping bag and bunny-hop down the hall to the bathroom. I hear the sounds of the faucet being turned on full-blast followed by a very relieved “AHHHHHHH” come from the bathroom.

About five minutes go by and my buddy comes back into my room, sleeping bag over his shoulder and hand around his crotch. He’s taking baby-steps as he comes back to the spot on the floor he was at before, lays down, and mumbles softly “It didn’t help.”

Many, many years later I force him to revisit this particularly shameful incident when I make him a Vicks Cake for his 30th birthday.

We’re still friends. He’s like a brother to me.

7.Is There A Problem, Officer?

There was a time we were playing truth or dare in a hot tub. A girl friend of ours had dared me to get hard in front of everyone. So I get up out of the tub and start playing with myself. Then from around the corner of the house I get a flashlight in my face.

That was the time I masturbated in front of a police officer.

8.An Indecent Proposal

Friend got dared by his girlfriend to have sex with her in the other room and finish inside her (no birth control). He refused, they broke up, we found out it was a setup she had planned to get herself preggies and force him to marry her. Strange night.

9.Hold My Beer

“Bet you can’t jump that ditch.” Four hours later the guy had dislocated one of shoulders the doctor told us.

10. Jealous Times At University

In my first or second year of UNI my group of friends and I were having a get together after finals ended. Considering finals had just ended and it was only about 7 of us, consuming alcohol seemed like the go to activity.

So once the buzz started to hit us one of my friends tried to start a game of spin the bottle, but being a group of three couples and one single guy we decided to play truth or dare instead.

Like all truth or dare games it started out pretty innocently (Take more shots, who’s your celebrity crush, ect), but eventually things turned a bit weird. Our one single guy decided to dare one of the girls to lick whipped cream off of his schlong, and with a reluctant nod from her boyfriend she got to action. Or…at least tried to.

Once she took off the dude’s pants and saw his (well) hung appendage she yells “Damn I’ve never seen one this big!” And before she could even uncap the whipped cream her boyfriend was swinging full force at the guy. Me and my other friend had to get in between a half naked guy and a drunk ape, and by the time we split them up everyone was uncomfortable as hell. After we resolved it and me and my girlfriend started leaving I just remember her leaning up to my ear and telling me “She knew her boyfriend was self conscious about his dick.”

11. At McDonald’s, In Your Underwear

Probably 20years old at the time. Gf her sister and girl cousin from Germany were in the car. Cousin says let’s play and so we all said OK. All fun and games till we pull over into a McDonald’s parking lot and I get dared to walk in and order fries in my underwear. They drove off and I had to borrow the phone to call my gf to make them come back for me. Saw all the tits though, so it was worth it.

12. It Just Became A Giant Orgy

I found out my fiance’s bachelorette party was basically an orgy. I found out years later from someone who was in attendance. I think the fun began as a Truth or Dare game. A co-worker of my wife’s ate her out. Two men staying on the same hotel floor fucked my wife-to-be and her friend. I had no idea until after our divorce. It’s funny…my bachelor party was so tame. We grilled and walked downtown to a couple bars and were back by midnight. Who knew?

13.Why Not Both…Or All?

At my first job, back when I was a teenager, about 6 of us were playing this mid-shift. 3 girls, 3 guys. It was barely starting to get risqu and one of the guys is asked “have you ever masturbated to thoughts of a coworker?” And he says yes.

This is as juicy as it’s gotten, so we latch onto it. The next time around, he’s asked if he’s masturbated to anyone else playing. He says yes. Next round, he’s asked to name which of us he’s jerked it to. He looks at us one by one, then says “all of you.” The guys all got flustered as hell, they’d never even realized they were on the roster.

14. It Was All He Had

I think my most exciting game of truth or dare was cut down in its prime when a guy dared his girlfriend to flash everyone and then broke down crying because now everyone had seen her bikini zone and he no longer felt special.

15. The Wrong Hole

When I was 17, I was “studying” with a girl who started a game of truth or dare with me. I hadn’t kissed since 4th grade, and we were clearly into each other. The game started with me as the asker. She chose dare. Me being the naive, socially awkward individual that I am, dared her to touch the bottom of my family’s shared toilet (which was actually really clean). She resisted, but eventually did it. When my turn came around I chose dare, it was only fair to do so after what I just put her through. She dared me to finger her. At the moment I was ecstatic. As we made our way to the sauna adjoining the bathroom a rush of terror came over me. I had no idea how to do what I was about to do. I’d basically never kissed, and now I was about to finger this chick. Anyways, we get into the sauna and its pitch black. I feel around and find her pelvic region. As I work my way down I try to recollect the very few pornos I’d seen to that point. I start feeling around and wiggling my finger side to side. She jerked her whole body back and exclaimed, “too low!” I quickly realized that I had fingered the wrong hole. And slide it (the same finger) up to her vag. After about 10 seconds she said I was doing it too hard, and about 20 seconds later she stopped me completely. Needless to say, it was a short lived study session.

16.She Went Above And Waaaay Beyond

We told her she had to kiss the dog, we didn’t think she was going to use tongue. After that we just didn’t want to play anymore.

17. A Disastrous Ending

This is a growing up pre-internet disclaimer. Seeing boobs was elusive if you had no access to a “porn stash”. I didn’t. So you’d see them in movies…and no pausing them mind you. No VCR. You’d see the boobs then poof their gone. So over my friends house when I was 13 his older stepsister and her friend were bored and actually talking to us. They were 15. It just started. I had never played before, but I knew the rules. We had a round of Truths. Then Dares. I dared my friends stepsister to flash her boobs. SHE DID!. Real boobs. It was magical. I got dared to strip naked. All the way naked. I did very reluctantly. I had a boner and out of nowhere the stepsister touches it and instant launch. It was awful. There were screams of “ewww” and gross. She shoved me and I fell backwards. It wasn’t a good ending to what could have been a spectacular evening.

18. Lucy And Kyle Break Up

A few years ago now my friends and I all decided to try and make jello shots for the first time. We added way too much vodka to them but we all felt obligated to finish them. We took the empty handle of Smirnoff and one of my friends decided to play truth or dare spin the bottle. With all of us pretty trashed already it seemed like a good idea.

For the first few rounds it was all fine, pretty normal stuff; take a shot, go outside and eat some snow (it was winter break). But then one friend, let’s call him Kevin, decided to dare one of the girls to take off her top. Now no one at the party was single, and everyone’s respective partner was in attendance, which will be important later.

The girl Kevin asked to take her top off decided to play along and that was fine. But her boyfriend, we’ll call him Kyle, seemed to get jealous because he then made it his mission to get Kevin’s girlfriend naked. Every time it was Kyle’s turn he would find a way to target Kevin’s girlfriend. The bottle pointed to me at one point and he dared me to take off Kevin’s girlfriend’s bra (of course I did it being a team player). It didn’t take long for Kevin to pick up on this so he started to target Kyle’s girlfriend for the same purpose.

I should also mention that truth became all but ruled out around this time because anyone who opted for it would be ridiculed for choosing the “pussy option”.

Eventually Kevin, Kyle, their girlfriends (call them Emily and Lucy respectively), and everyone else in the circle, 8 of us total, we’re down to nothing but underwear bottoms. Kevin gets a turn and dares Lucy to let him take off her panties. She blushes and and tries to say no but everyone begins to cheer for her to do it. Eventually she gets up, walks over to Kevin, and he just rips off her panties and immediately buries his face in her crotch and she starts to moan and stays on his face. The room goes silent, Emily gets up and storms out of the room.

Apparently Lucy and Kevin had been cheating with each other. Kyle had been suspicious but didn’t want to risk accusing Lucy without proof. Obviously this let the cat out of the bag and what followed were some very choice words and us never hanging out with Kevin or Lucy again.

19. Middle School Is So Awful

This was at a birthday party in middle school. A late-blooming boy chose “truth” and was asked if he had pubes. He was silent for what seemed like forever, then said “no” softly, causing the room to erupt with laughter. He began to cry and had to leave the room. He didn’t come out for HOURS. He had a girlfriend at the party so I’m sure it added to the embarrassment.

20. “It Was Terrifying”

We (3 guys and 3 girls) were all in the hottub at this chick’s house playing ‘Truth or Dare’, and I get dared to go mash my dick/balls up against her parents’ bedroom window. Granted, it’s like 1am, and the whole house is completely dark, so I thought it would be no big deal.

Get out of the hottub, run over to the window, drop my suit, and smash my junk up against the window for a few moments. Then, in the reflective light of the pool, I catch a glimpse of her parents sitting right inside the window, watching us from inside. They didn’t even blink, just just watched me. It was fucking terrifying. TERRIFYING. Like, I saw them for a split fucking second as the light passed over the glass, just inches away from my mashed up dick on the other side of the window. Something from a horror movie. I gasped and ran back to the hottub, got back in, and just sat there in complete silence.

A couple minutes later, her dad comes outside laughing, hands me a beer, and then reminisces with all of us for a minute about the crazy shit he did when he was a kid.

I’ve never felt a shock like I did when I saw their faces. It still haunts me sometimes, but it all turned out better than expected.

…I was 25.

21.The Lamest House Party Ever

I was at my first ever house party. I was pretty drunk, didn’t really know many people there and wanted to impress. So naturally, when we were playing truth or dare and someone dared me to strip to my boxers and run around the garden (fully expecting me not to do it and to instead take the forfeit of five tequila shots), I actually did it. Instead of cheers of “haha, he actually did it the madman” everyone just thought I was some sort of weird pervert and hardly anyone would talk to me for the rest of the party.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/10/26/21-people-share-the-time-truth-or-dare-got-completely-out-of-control/