#anyways. mwah. once again i am sending my love for this fic <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[h-doodles]

i need a moment hold on

Warmth of Your Doorways - Chapter Nine

Jane Murdstone x dressmaker!Reader

In collaboration with @daydream-cement and beta'd by our baby @tunarunes 🧡

Summary: Jane learns what it means to forgive.

Jane remained outside a cafe all afternoon. She nestled herself in a corner near the front window to wait for your nightly walk home from work. Unfortunately for her, this was another day in which you stayed late into the evening - resulting in her having to wait near the mouth of an alleyway when the establishment closed. Regardless of this, Jane Murdstone would not be deterred.

You finished up your work, eyes growing heavy through your last few stitches. You took your time in cleaning up your station and locking up the shop - the thought of your empty home keeping you moving at half the pace in which you normally would be working.

The walk home felt uneventful, but there was an uneasiness to it - almost as if you were being watched. You made your way up the stairs and the uneasiness being quelled by the feeling of your home nearby.

As you made your way inside, you quickly made yourself comfortable by shedding your outer skirts and corset. You draped them over a chair and left them behind to fix yourself something small for dinner, going about your business absentmindedly while softly humming to yourself as you cooked.

Little did you know that Jane was positioned outside your front door, wrestling with her anxieties about knocking and making her presence known. She was terrified that she would be met with rejection and vile words - the same that she had subjected you to not that long ago. With the clench of her fist, Jane raised a shaky hand and pushed herself to gently knock at your door - the possible reward of earning you back ultimately outweighing the potential rejection.

At first there was no sign of movement, the wooden store staring back at her, mocking her. She strained to hear any sounds of life, music, puttering, footsteps. The windows were barely lit, though surely you'd had time by now to turn a light on or two.

So she waited. Knocked softly again. Waited.

When the door finally creaked open, Jane felt an immediate rush of relief fill her. There you stood, pretty as ever, hair half piled up. Jane noted you looked a wee bit run down, and if your hours tonight were indicative of your usual work schedule, she couldn't fault you.

She also noted how you did not move, so still Jane had to focus briefly on your chest to see that you were indeed breathing.

"... Jane?"

It was so quiet, so broken that it took all of Jane's remaining strength to stay upright. The tears now flowing down your cheeks matched hers, and she tentatively took a step towards you.

"Yes, little violet. I'm here."

You sobbed and flung yourself into Jane, nearly toppling the two of you over. Aware of potential onlookers, Jane quickly pulled you indoors, shutting the door behind her with her foot as you clung to her. Though her chest was filled to the brim with apologies and explanations, she allowed herself a moment to simply comfort you, gently smoothing down your hair as her tears stained it.

"Jane… Jane, you're here… why… how?"

Wobbled and unsure, Jane attempted to tell you how Marjory had bought her tickets, to come find you, fight for you. The mention of Marjory seemed to stir something in you, as you pushed back from Jane and now held her an arms distance away. Jane felt her resolve crumble slightly as anger lit your pupils, and she braced herself for what she knew was coming; what she knew she deserved.

"And is that why you're here? To fight for me? After… after everything you did? Everything you said?"

Jane cringed and wrapped her hand around yours, hoping to keep you from drifting too far.

"Please, let me explain-"

"Explain?! Explain what exactly? Never in my life have I been called such nasty things, or been so thoroughly disrespected… and I… I thought you loved me Jane, I… I love you-"

You knew you were yelling, knew that perhaps your neighbors could be privy to your rage, but staring at the woman who had hurt you so badly…

Damn them all. And damn her too if her excuses weren't good enough.

Even if she looked as weary as you felt. Even if the guilt and pain were written clear as day on her features, rolling down her cheeks to meet her throat.

Damn her, damn her, damn her-

"I love you too, little violet. I swear it."

Spoken with such hushed sincerity, perhaps you could believe it.

"Please. Please just- let me explain. Let me speak. Let me… show you. Prove to you. That I am worth the love you hold for me."

Every atom in your body screamed for her, as they had since the moment you met her; her pleas echoed in your marrow, and you felt some of the anger melt away when you noted how hollow her cheeks had become.

"Fine. But do not think you can simply… walk back in here and everything will go back to normal. I can't- I couldn't handle this pain a second time. You need to mean it, Jane."

You hadn't thrown her out on the doorstep, and truly that's what she'd been expecting. She nodded, and even dared offer you a small smile.

She would do this, that she knew for certain. She'd spend the rest of her life proving her love to you, if that's what it took.

"You can start by telling me why you ever pushed me away to begin with."

Jane’s mouth gaped for a moment. She didn’t know where to begin. How could she explain a lifetime of pain and violence in a way that also allowed her to take ownership of her mistakes?

With a gentle tug of your hands, Jane drew you to sit on the edge of the bed next to her. There was a nervousness about Jane as she worked up the courage to open up about her trauma. Her dedication to winning you back pushed the words from her mouth. “Since my father died... my brother became the head of the house. When we were young, he learned of my... love of the fairer sex. This was something I was... ahem... routinely punished for...”

While this hadn’t fully explained Jane’s behavior, her words tugged at your heartstrings.

“I slowly became more callous... more of the shrew others told you I was. So much of that changed when I came to live with Marjory. I was so much happier, and so much more myself. And then you came along...” Jane paused briefly when she thought of how you changed her life irrevocably, a shy smile causing her to turn her gaze into her lap. “Edward came back... He found out we were together. He threatened to tell people... to ruin your career. I knew it was wrong to turn you away. It was wrong to hurt you the way I did...”

“I never meant any of it. I-I was scared... I was set to be married three days ago... and I would have. I fell into such despair when you left. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t journal... I just sat there thinking of that night you came to me in the rain.”

You sat in a stunned silence, overwhelmed by the story she had told you. All of the insults. All of the ways she hurt you could be attributed to her fear of her brother. So much of you wanted to remain angry. You wanted to scream and call her a coward, but as you observed her typically proud and rigid stature, you saw Jane wasn’t her normal self.

The dress she wore hung looser around her body. Her face displayed an uncommon exhaustion and ghostliness. It was then you saw the true extent of Jane’s heartbreak.

“What do you want from me now?” Your question wasn’t aimed to wound Jane, but you needed to know more about her intent on being there in your home. As much as it pained you, you wondered if this was all a sick joke.

“I want to love you... I want to apologize for all that I’ve put you through.”

“I... I forgive you...” Your response immediately made the ravenette perk up, but the way you finished your sentence made her face fall with a sad understanding. “But... I need more time to trust you again, Janey...”

"Of course dearest. Might I, at the risk of toeing over the line, ask to stay the night? I'm afraid in my haste I've forgotten to book a proper room. I can… I can stay on the couch-"

You shook your head, the thought of the statuesque woman cramped in your living area almost comical, and tentatively took Jane's hand. Neither of you commented how much you had missed the feeling as you led her towards the spare room, fetching an extra blanket to help keep out the night chill. There was an awkward tinge to the air as you bade her goodnight, the yearn on her face palpable, and for a brief moment, you thought she might ask you to stay.

You wished she had.

--

Sleep did not come easy, if at all, and after tossing and turning for what seemed like hours, you finally sighed and tossed the covers aside, padding quietly towards where Jane slept.

You stood in the doorway for a few moments, simply watching her. She looked ethereal in the moonlight, her long black hair spilling over the pillow beside her. It made your heart ache every time you looked at her, and in the peaceful thrum of the night, you allowed yourself to be drawn to her. Carefully, you pulled back the blanket and slipped beside Jane, your breath catching when her perfume hit your nostrils. You'd been so overwhelmed earlier you hadn't noticed it; now however, it consumed you. You brushed her hair off the pillow and lay fully next to her, hardly daring to breathe.

It was the best you'd slept in weeks.

Jane had awoken to your presence not long after you slipped into unconsciousness. Through half lidded eyes, she thought she was experiencing the same recurring dream she had since you left. A dream where you crawled into bed and she held you throughout the night, only to wake heartbroken when it had all been a figment of her imagination. As she always did, Jane embraced the fiction and looped an arm around you - not caring of the heartache to come. Only if she knew that for the first time in weeks, her wildest dreams were a reality.

--

Waking up was slow, easy. The first rays of sunlight were spilling into the room, and you felt warm… almost too warm. Your brow furrowed as you shifted slightly, the smells and sheets not at all familiar. Cracking your eyes open, you peered around you, your heart stuttering when you met Jane's piercing blue gaze.

".... good morning, sweeting."

You couldn't help the sleepy smile- you'd missed her so much. Missed waking up to her like this. Rather than let the moment pass, you simply curled under her chin and wrapped your arm around her, breathing her in for a few moments.

"Good morning Janey. Did- did you sleep well?"

Jane nodded, and dared to gently run her fingertips up and down your spine. You felt that familiar twang pull in your chest; you'd missed this too much, and it all came rushing back as to why.

"We should eat something. I have to be off to work soon."

Jane had noticed the way you'd stiffened in her arms, but stayed silent as she watched you rise for the day. You left for your room without so much as a glance back at her, and it made her throat feel tight.

She could do this. She would do this.

Breakfast was manageable, that awkward tinge back in the air as you moved around each other seamlessly, cooking eggs and laying plates and cutlery. Any attempt at small talk felt… odd. Stifled. For now quiet seemed best, and Jane opted to tidy the kitchen while you finished readying yourself for work. She met you at the front door, a small bag with lunch for you in her outstretched hand.

"I hope you have a good day today."

"Thank you. Will, um… will you still be here when I return this evening?"

You looked so small and unsure of yourself Jane wanted to scoop you in her arms and never let you go.

"If you'd like me to be."

Your shoulders relaxed, and you took the lunch from Jane, butterflies skittering in your chest as your hands brushed.

"I would."

Jane smiled, a real smile, and opened the door for you. Some long-lost remark of her gentlemanly nature was at the tip of your tongue, but playful banter still seemed too… raw. Much like everything else at the moment. You simply squeezed her hand on your way out, and wondered what it would once again be like to come home to Jane.

--

@weemssapphic @bitch-we-have-a-hulk @yourlocaldisneyvillain @renravens @thegoddamnfeels @dvrkhcld @blessmysouljessisonaroll @opheliauniverse @ahsfan05 @ness029 @carnivorousflowers @willowshadenox @mysaviorfalsegod @myzzjolanda @bigolgay @pluied-ete @h-doodles @pro-weems-places @kimiinou @vigelvictoria @pigeonbrewster @saturnnnnl @azu-zu

[burnedbyshoto]

if you sent any asks (recommendations for things don’t count as I have to look around!) since october 17 until october 22 it is in here :)

anon said: The header for your askbox response post is *aesthetic*. I think it’s a really good idea to post one every few days if you have the time. ❤️

well, thANK YOUUUUU!!!!! I put in a whopping 10 minutes into it because I had no idea what I was doing! i’ll definitely be doing asks this way now though.

big dick kiri anon said: !!!!!! ILY HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY PLS HYDRATE 💙💙❤️❤️ -bigdickkiri

Omg love! Please don’t worry about kinktober just breathe! Take your time and try to relax 💙❤️- bigdickkiri

DAMN, that is a LOT. Please look after yourself and don't stress about it love!! - bigdickkiri

I'm very excited. BUT PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, DO NOT FORCE ANY OF THIS OMG - bigdickkiri

AHH, AMAZING, TALENTED SWEETHEART, GORGEOUS LOVE, HAVE A INCREDIBLE DAY AND HYDRATE - bigdickkiri

I believe I did have a good day, and I am actually super bad at hydrating, buT ILL TRY TO GET BETTER!!!!

I am breathing!!!! JUSTTT BREATHEEEE!!! I am taking my time now and relaxing to the best of my ability :D thank you so much bdk I love you with all my soul

theres always a lot, but if im not doing a lot I dont do anything so on one hand.... it’s okay LMAO but I will continue to try and not stress :D

BDK I WOULD NEVER WANT TO MAKE YOU THINK IM FORCING THIS OUT OF MEEEE ILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE YOU PROUD

GHSOGHJIAORGJRGIRAHG YOURE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, TERRIFIC, INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! YOU HYDRATE AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU

@bread-theduck​ said: We love you and support you ❤ dont push yourself, your mental health is so much more important that kinktober haha. Take all the time you need, we're right here and open if you wanna talk~

I don’t really try to push myself... it just happens subconsciously D: but thank you for the love and support!!!! my mental health is stronger than I give it credit though

anon said: listen! we all appreciate you and your writing dearly but! I think we can all agree that we want you to be okay mentally and physically before you make yourself write! kinktober can wait! you’re more important!! at the very least, pls take a break for tonight.

I honestly can’t even remember when i said I was tired, but thank you for your kind words regardless!!!! I am trying to get better at it because i don’t want to disappoint you guys D:

@saintbullet​ said: Please take care of yourself!!! DONT risk your health for writing. We care about you so much! Be careful 💕💕💕

I know I push myself a lot, and i’m really sorry for scaring you all!!!! I am trying though, and it just has a lot to do with my mental fatigue and that im judging some hard classes right now then it has to do with anything

anon said: hey it'll be alright! idk whats wrong but i promise everything will work out like its supposed to! you just take care of yourself and take as much time as you need to feel better!! we love u!! ♥️

It wAS MY PERIOD I REMEMBER NOW AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO WITH ALL THE LOVE MY HEART POSSES!!!!!!

anon said: periods can be a pain so pls take care of yourself!! drink lots of water and rest up!!!

my period is the worst, if she was a person i’d block her and avoid her irl!!!!!!!!

anon said: Lol ok so gay for Mina anon back and no, I was not the anon who requested it. But lmao, let me take this time to whole heartedly thank that anon for quenching my thirst anyways

oh whoops, sorry for thinking you were someone else D: iM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU WERE HAPPY WITH IT!!! READER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BAD GUY BUT I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE IT WORK LMAO

anon said: I am just planning on hanging out and reading all the lovely writing that comes from this

i’m pretty sure this is about my nsfw/sfw headcanons, and honestly im sooo very excited to start working on them!!!!!!!!

anon said: you have no idea how happy I got when I saw u posted for mina like UGH MY WIFE I LOVE HER SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺 N GIVING US GAYS AMAZING CONTENT UR AMAZING MWAH MWAH KEEP BEING THE PERFECT ANGEL U ARE 🥺🥺💞💗💖💕💓💝

AHHHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT MINA IS LIKE MY FAV CLASS 1-A GIRL SO I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHH YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND YOURE AN ANGEL!!!!!!!

many a anons said: Sorry I didn’t see the part where you said not to request characters that were already on the list I thought that was the list of character we could vote for.

so sorry I accidentally sent a character in that has already been requested, Tumblr didn't show me the follow up posts ;;

nooo I didn’t see the list I’m so sorry 😭😭😭

LOL ITS OKAYYYY. y’all were hoes and kept sending me shouto who I couldn’t even think about deleting from my list... so... you are lucky >:(

anon said: hello! not a request here but take care of yourself anc stay hydrated bb 🥰🥰

I got my water right next to me rn bby :D

anon said: be todoroki’s girlfriend

bitch I am todorokis WIFE, why would I need to dress up???

@girl-with-a-mentality​ said: You can be todoroni for Halloween.

....you right...

anon said: Thirst post infoo ;3 I found a doujinshi of Bakugo being teased and toyed with sexually with by Ochako, Yaomomo, and our lovely momma Mina

...send it

anon said: GIRLLLLLL

ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN ;)

local dumbass anon said: local dumbass is here once again, i thiink you know who i am and might've found my ig buuuuuut..?

uh.... I don’t know???????? I only followed people on insta if you gave me your handle or followed me first.... also did you cut your bangs?

anon said: Your Monoma scenario was really good!If we’re being honest, though, Monoma would literally start foaming at the mouth if he saw anyone from 1-A making physical contact with his s/o, ESPECIALLY Bakugou. They would have to call animal control because there would be a rabid Monoma in the dorms lol

okay... while you’re not wrong, I just thought 18 year old monoma should have grown up just the tiniest bit! plus his obsession is controlled because of his insecurity so LMAO IDK I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE UGH

@awkward-theaterkid​ said: I was reading your Day 19 Fic but I couldnt take it seriously, the title "My Way" kept reminding me of the Backstreet Boys "I want it that way" and it keeps popping up while I read it 😂

as someone who only heard that song because of b99 I read this and immediately thought of b99 LMAOOOOO

🍒💥anon said: URGENT PSA: LYSSA IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND I LOVE HER -🍒💥

Hello Queen Lyssa, I finally read "And They Were Roommates" and have absolutely no idea why I put it off so long! ITS A MASTERPIECE. Each chapter is addictive and the slow burn and angst destroyed me 😭 The smut in the final chapter is flawless and sooooooooooooooooooo H O T. Shoto wasnt even my favorite character but he might have to be now (or at least in my top 3) 😰 This is my new favorite series and I cant wait to re-read it!!!! YOURE AMAZING AND ILY. You own my soul now -🍒💥

URGENT PSA I LOVE YOU CHERRY EXPLOSION AND YOURE AMAZING :D

ATWR holds a special place in my heart uwu.... HAOGHIOSRGSIOGJSIHG THANK YOU!!!!! SHOUTO IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEARRTTTTTT

~ thank you to @didyoumeanme​, @kittenlordofdarkness​, @soafers​ for submitting memes and animal pics for my rommate, much appreciated :D ~

anon said: Did the local dumbass anon ever cut their bangs? Do you know?

....I dont know, but I just asked her rn >:)

this paragraph is dedicated to those surrounding to the meltdown mess that occurred yesterday. to each and every one of you who sent me kind words via my askbox or directly contacting me, thank you. I really want to move past this because I feel by holding on it will make me feel less inclined to write because of my guilt. of course, I do not expect you to forgive me, or trust me in my story of how it went down, because at the end of the day it was my mistake for trusting in someone to write with pure intentions when I didn’t know if she could. im trying to continue on with my best foot forward and im grateful for those of you who trusted in me. I swear I will never push myself again, and that I will instead take my time in order to publish my original work and only my original work and not take anything that comes from a “friend”. know that I love you all, and I dont know how to take it easy so my break lasted a whooping 10 hours, and my blog won’t discontinue until im done with bnha or...I get into medschool which is still 3 years away, I am taking care of myself, im staying hydrated, im trying not to put myself down anymore, I will keep going, & will forever continue to be more careful with what I post. also, no one was really coming for me, so don’t worry if you thought so lol. (to you 9 anons who expressed their kind thoughts to me, thank you. to big dick kiri anon thank you. to @bqkubabey​, @flayvus​, & @ultimate-shit-poster​ thank you so so much you really helped me not drown myself in my own guilt.)

anon said: i hope you’re feeling okay today :((

I am feeling a lot better. unfortuantely I did make myself really sick yesterday because ive never been as stressed in my life ever, but im okay now. there’s nothing I can do more for what happened so I will try to continue on as best as I can and I appreciate you caring... ilysm :)

@ikinabi​ said: Your writing??? Actually god sent 🥵👌 and the way you write Mirio gets me GOING

BAHAHAH NOOOOO ITS NOT PLAFUAOGHJIPRAHAR MY MIRIO PIECE YOU LIKED WAS MY FIRST PIECE ON HIM AND OOO BOY I DID NOT DO HIM JUSTICE

anon said: fuck buddy iida is a thought that has never crossed my mind but now that i’ve seen your post i am intrigued haha

well... it is up :) if you wanna check her out :)

anon said: You dont have to answer if you dont wanna but i just wanna see if your okay. I hope your end your doing well and not stressing.

i’m doing much better than I was yesterday!!! I just needed to rest and calm down and stop attacking myself. thank you for checking in!!! it means so much :,)