#anyways. lillian masterpost time | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

someartistsammy · 4 years ago

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Hi here’s a masterpost of Lillian in the og MCD.

This includes when she appears, what episodes, what she says, etc.

Apologies if any of this seems like rambling/ if it’s slightly messy. Looking at the date on the notepad document this was all originally kept in, the date is that of 7/8/19, so a little over a year ago.

First Appearance:

Episode 90 of S1, "Mask in the Trees"

Time Stamp: 12:40

Lillian is hidden in the trees near where Kiki's baby shower is taking place, she's noticed by Garroth who leaves his stance to quickly follow her. He rushes after her through the trees and out the gates of Phoenix drop, She's fast and loses Garroth quickly- but not before they both run towards the forest and into it, Garroth rounds some trees before finding Aphmau and Laurance kissing, to which he turns back around and runs away, after Garroth has left, it's shown that this is not Aphmau and Laurance, but rather an illusion or shape-shifting illusion that Lillian has created, (It's more likely to have been a shape-shifting illusion as this is shown to be what Lillian is good at- altering her appearance). She laughs after morphing back, before the screen fades to black. Aphmau is left to wonder where Garroth disappeared to.

---

Second Appearance/ not a physical appearance:

Episode 91 of S1, "Respect for Irene"

Time Stamp: 1:15

After the murder of Jeffory, Zane is standing at his window before his communication amulet starts going off, we can only hear whispers coming from it, but it's heavily implied that it's Lillian. We can hear Zane say "She's there with her? Katelyn mentioned nothing of this.. hm.." before more whispers come through the amulet. Zane quickly replies with "No, leave it be. This is much better" some more whispers before Zane picks up with "He would be perfect to fill the new role that just opened up." as the scene ends off with Zane laughing.

In this scene it's pretty implied that Lillian was well using her abilities as a spy to look around Phoenix drop- and in this case, realized that Katelyn was staying there with Aphmau, and docked there, without having told Zane. It can also be assumed that the next whispers are asking if Lillian should do anything about it, before Zane's replying to leave it be- and it being better. It can also be inferred that Lillian is next talking about Garroth and how he ran away- probably feeling betrayed- and that is confirmed as we learn in later episodes. Probably asking if she should do something about it- or maybe bring him back to O'Khasis, with this we hear Zane reply about how he would be perfect to fill the new role that had opened up- in this case becoming the ninth Jury of Nine member after he had killed Jeffory not moments before- which had dropped the Jury down to eight members.

---

Third Appearance

Episode 92 of S1, "Gate of Phoenix Drop"

Time Stamp: 22:15

Lillian is waiting on the inside of the gate, she is in her civilian appearance, she seems to be chatting with Cadenza as Aphmau approaches Brian and talks to him while trying to figure out who Lillian is. Brian lets her inside the gate after he questions her multiple times and checks her travel items. He says that she's a very sweet gal and that she's introduced herself as a fortune teller. Text time babey

Lillian: "Oh! A good day to you! I'm sorry I didn't notice you before, Ms. Cadenza here had been talking the world to me, hehe. Um, my name is Lillian. May I ask your name? Aphmau: "Good day Lillian, my name is Aphmau"

Lillian: "Aphmau, what a lovely--- Aphmau!? You mean the LORD of the village!?"

Aphmau: "How do you know that?"

Lillian: "Cadenza here has been talking so much about you! I'm honored to be in the presence of a woman such as yourself... your endeavors have reached the ears of many villages near and far. //She bows to Aphmau//

Aphmau/Jess rambling a bit: "If you're talking about the thing in Brightport, yeah that was a while ago and I guess I have helped other villages too but, Brian tells me your a fortune teller?

Lillian: "Fortune Teller...? Gah! That sounds so... merchant-y, no, no... I am not a "fortune teller" I am a recognized prophet. I've had visions come to me multiple times of which have come true. You can ask many a Lord, I have predicted famines, drought, love... you name it."

Aphmau: "Wow- I-is that a magicks?"

Lillian: "A kind yes, though it's also not in a way... it's a little difficult to explain. I still don't quite understand it myself but here I am! I'm just traveling the world right now, so... if you don't mind Lord Aphmau, may I please request sanctuary in your village? I'm just passing through and I won't be any trouble at all I swear! In fact I plan to help while I'm here, Cadenza is telling me of someone named Garroth and how he's sick, I happen to be a herb specialist as well- I can help make something to nurse him back to health. So, would you have me...?

Aphmau: "//whispering// after all that's happened here.... //audibly// yes, just try to stay out of trouble Lillian, please."

Lillian: "Yes mam'! I sure will! Thank you, thank you so much!"

//Aphmau then turns to look at Cadenza.//

Cadenza: "Aphmau! I was out picking some herbs to try to make a potion I was reading in a book that might make Garroth better when i saw Brian talking to this lovely woman with this BEAUTIFUL outfit. I just had to come say "Hi" to her and she's such a sweetheart! I've asked her to help with Garroth so hopefully we'll have Garroth back by tomorrow! Thank you so much for allowing her to stay here! I'm so worried about Garroth."

The episode ends off with Cadenza leading Lillian into the guard station, followed by Cookie.

---

Fourth & Fifth Appearance

Episode 93 of S1, "At Our Doors"

Time Stamp: 0:00

The episode starts off with Garroth walking/ sneaking out of his ??"room??" in the guard station (maybe bunk is a better word) to grab some breakfast left outside his door before Lillian comes up the ladder and asks "Garroth?"

Garroth: "Uhh.. who are you?"

Lillian: "My name is Lillian and I'm new in town and I'm a medicine specialist, I'm so sorry for intruding on you like this, but Cadenza isn't here and the herb medicine I made for you is ready. Your friends wanted me to help you get better."

Garroth: "I see.. if you're a friend of Cadenza, you are welcomed, but I really just want to be alone."

Lillian: "So what exactly is wrong with you?"

Garroth: "It's really nothing, I'm not actually sick."

Lillian: "So.. you're pretending?"

Garroth: "No I really don't feel well.. well."

Lillian: "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

Garroth: "I'm sorry but.. a broken heart isn't something anyone can help me with.."

Lillian: "Sometimes.. talking about it helps."

//there's a large jump in time to the end of the episode//

Time Stamp: 22:22

We see Lillian leave the guard station before going around to the back of it and pulling out the communication amulet before altering her appearance into her masked appearance.

---

Sixth Appearance

Episode 94 of S1, "The Stranger"

Time Stamp: 16:20

Aphmau has just walked into her house, followed by Laurance, the camera then switches to Garroth and Lillian out on the patio of the guard station, the training dummy behind them. Garroth slowly lowers his head followed by Lillian who looks to him lightly before stepping closer to him. Garroth then turns around to look at her and they share a glance but then Garroth turns around and walks into the guard station.

---

Seventh Appearance

Episode 95 of S1, "Call to Arms"

Time Stamp: 16:20

Aphmau is startled awake by Aaron who is at her bedside, he's snuck into her house and woken her up to have her look outside.

Aphmau: "wh.. what are you doing here."

Aaron: "Shh, not a word... I need you to get out of bed and look out the window. Now."

Aphmau stumbles out of her bed confused but looks out to see Lillian walking down the path to Katelyn's boat, looking around to see if anyone has spotted her.

Aphmau: "Wh.. what? That looks like Lillian.."

Aaron: "She's been avoiding the guards all night and acting suspicious... we should follow her."

Aphmau: "Okay.. we can do that. Let's go."

Aphmau and Aaron are in the next scene sneaking down the hill by the docks and hiding in the trees. We're greeted to a cut scene of Katelyn and Lillian staring each other down.

Aphmau: "I don't understand.. why is she?"

//it cuts to the others//

Lillian: "So... tell me Katelyn... what exactly have you been doing here this whole time?"

Katelyn: "I've been standing my guard just like I was commanded to do."

Lillian: "Hm, you're a woman of great power..."

Katelyn: "My thanks, as to you as well Lillian."

Lillian: "Only difference is... I'm a woman of greater power."

//Lillian then grabs out her scythe and holds it up to Katelyn, part of it resting barely inches from her chest while the actual scythe bit rests almost gently against Katelyn's shoulder//

//Aphmau quietly gasps//

Lillian: "Katelyn... Zane mentioned you failed to report that Nicole was here in Phoenix Drop... tell me why is that...?"

Katelyn: "I did not see her. My job was to check up on the Lord of Phoenix Drop. Nicole would have been a good way to win Zane's favor, so if I knew she was here... why would I pass an opportunity like that up?"

Lillian: "Unflinching as ever Katelyn... you members of the Jury of Nine never fail to impress me."

Katelyn: "We don't need to impress a woman like you."

Lillian: "Fine. ...I'll make sure Zane knows you've been wasting time here. Until then Phoenix Drop is under your patrol, my job here is done."

//there's what sounds like a gunshot/ thunder/ the firing of a canon, etc.//

Katelyn: "Lillian"

//It then cuts to a first person pov of Katelyn staring down Lillian and her scythe before Katelyn moves at an insane speed through Lillian as another sound crackles in the distance//

//part of the stairs and the ground where Katelyn has moved to on the hillside has been completely destroyed//

//The next scene is Katelyn standing with her gauntlents out, back to back with Lillian. Lillian has her Scythe resting in front of her while Katelyn has a leg posed back, almost resting it on Lillian.//

//Lillian looks stunned as her arms are lightly spread and she's looking up, as where Katelyn is slightly looking down.//

//Aphmau gasps, again//

Katelyn: "Next time you threaten me. I won't miss."

Lillian: "Heh, heh, heh... duly noted."

//Lillian then runs up what's left of the stairs while Katelyn runs back to her boat//

//Aphmau is panting//

Aphmau: "I don't think.. we should be letting her.. get.. what do you think?"

Aaron: "We need to apprehend Lillian... let's move!"

Aphmau: "Agreed! Let's go!"

//it fades to black and then back as Aphmau and Aaron sprint the direction that Lillian went, they then split directions to search for her. Aphmau heads to the plaza but you can see the camera shaking as it follows Aphmau's movements as she draws her sword, camera movements similar to a figure catching their breath if it was first person pov.//

//The camera then reveals that it's Lillian watching Aphmau, Lillian is hiding in the part of the Plaza that has the most trees and is blending in with the darkness. She then takes her chance after Aphmau wanders away to book it out of there//

---

Eighth Appearance Episode 100 of S1, "The Amulet's Secret" Time Stamp: 18:48

The scene begins with Garroth handing the amulet over to Zane as Aphmau rushes into the clearing in the trees. Lillian is resting slightly behind Zane as Aphmau panics over Garroth handing it over as Zane begins to chuckle.

Zane: "You're too late, Lord Aphmau. Garroth is now a member of the Jury of Nine, he faithfully serves me."

Aphmau: "WHAT!?"

Laurance: "You obviously have him under some spell! Let him go! Now!"

//Laurance and Garroth clash swords//

Garroth: "Zane does not control my actions, he guides me down the right path, my loyalties lie with him now."

Laurance: "Garroth? You have to be kidding me... what happened to you?"

//Zane laughs//

Zane: "Can't you tell, little Laurance? Garroth has become a faithful member of the Jury of Nine, my devoted guard."

Aphmau: "N- NO! YOU'RE LYING."

Zane: "It was so easy to corrupt my poor poor big brother here, after all, the one thing he cared for in his life was suddenly ripped from him, by someone he considered to be his loyal friend. The one person he loved, and the one person he trusted, having a relationship, right behind his back. How pathetic, big brother, I can't believe you ever loved such a back-stabbing woman in the first place, now Lillian here? She's a woman of great loyalty to me, I'm glad she was there to talk to you when you needed someone Garroth, of course, I sent her to check on my beloved brother."

Garroth: "Lillian was able to talk me out of being foolish and trusting Lord Aphmau with my heart, I know better now."

Zane: "Then show them exactly what you are."

//Garroth morphs into his Jury form before taking down Laurance//

//Aphmau is close to sobbing at this point//

Aphmau: "Garroth, Why?"

Zane: "This is the form members of the Jury of Nine take when they unleash their full potential. Can't you feel the darkness radiating from his heart?"

//Katelyn then morphs into her Jury form as well//

Zane: "Look what we have here, another traitor, Garroth, relinquish her of her Jury title, now."

//Garroth then proceeds to do such,, u know,, how u do//

Zane: "You don't deserve this power. I know you, like Jeffory, are not truly loyal to me."

Laurance: "You won't get away with this you coward! Come here and fight me yourself!"

Zane: "I would love to, I truly would, however, with this amulet in my hands, I don't need to waste my time with the likes of you."

//Cut to Zane warping them all into the Irene Dimension as thunder cracks in the background with u know,, the irene dimension music yeehaw//

//cue everyone freaking out for a fair portion of time which was.. understandable//

Time Stamp: 24:52

Zane: "Finally.. it's mine.. Irene's relic.. with this added to my strength I will-"

//The relic vanishes from in front of Zane only to reappear in front of Aphmau and be absorbed into her.//

Aphmau: "Wh- What the!?"

Zane: "Wh- this- this is impossible! You can't be her! No no no no no! I've worked too hard and killed too many useless pawns for this to happen to me now! That relic will be mine even if I have to rip you appart to get it's power!"

//Zane morphs into his Jury form before laughing//

Zane: "Ripping you apart is something I've wanted to do for for so long! It's a shame you have to die, really. We could've been something special together."

Aphmau: "You know that would never happen."

//Lillian and Garroth then rush down from their spots at the top of the stairs next to Zane, with Garroth charging Laurance and Lillian charging Katelyn. both duos clash weapons//

//Zane jumps down from the top in the middle before continuing//

Zane: "What a shame!"

//He then proceeds to charge Aphmau only to clash swords with Aaron//

Zane: "You.."

Aaron: "You won't get out of here this time."

Zane: "Hahaha.. funny, I was about to say that to you as well."

//Cut to Garroth and Laurance//

Laurance: "Garroth! Why are you doing this!?"

Garroth: "Zane is the only who cares for me like a true brother!"

Laurance: "Are you even listening to yourself right now!? He tried to hurt the people you are sworn to protect!"

Garroth: "How can I protect when my heart gets ripped to shreds by the woman I loved, and the so-called brother I trusted!"

Laurance: "Garroth snap out of it! If this is about Aphmau and love, then why!?"

Garroth: "What do you mean why!? You know DAMN well why!"

Laurance: "Garroth, I understand that you love Aphmau, however, you have to be willing to accept the fact she might not return those feelings, can't you see how corrupt this has made you become?"

//Garroth tsks//

Laurance: "Look at me! You are not defined by the person you love, you are Garroth, protector of the innocent, sworn to love and care for those in need. When did the Garroth I know allow himself to be consumed by one person's love, you cannot be jealous of every man she meets forever. You'll just drive her away from you. You have to let go before you can truly be Garroth, a Garroth worthy to protect others!"

//Garroth removes his helmet as Zane strikes Aaron to the ground//

Zane: "hahahaha what a pathetic fool.. I should've killed you along with your entire village the day the amulet cursed you. Now for you.."

Aphmau: "Ugh.. when I get my hands on you Zane.."

Zane: "Don't worry, I'm losing my fiance remember? You promised your hand to me at the wall. This will hurt you more than it hurts me."

//Zane goes to strike down Aphmau before Garroth interrupts, this scene proceeds how we been knew//

//Zoey appears with the portal as Katelyn whirls around, leaving Lillian's dead body on the floor, closing this entire thing and GOD SHE DID NOT GET ENOUGH STORYLINE AND SCREENTIME WHAT THE HELL//

#aphmau #aphmau lillian #lillian #minecraft diaries #long post #THIS IS A VERY. VERY LONG POST.#hopefully the read more works for mobile too.#otherwise. I'm VERY sorry #anyways. lillian masterpost time #this is from the og mcd so it does NOT include her appearance in rebirth #i'm not gonna tag the others #also I know that last bit is just a play-for-play on what happens in the irene dimension. but.#y'know.. it happened

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mallowstep · 3 years ago

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when all the leaves change in the fall — research masterpost

so i’m writing a human au set somewhere in the 1910s in ireland (really, around 1905-1914ish), and i just needed to throw all of my links and such into one place.

it’s…not a heatherlion fic, but it’s not not a heatherlion fic

anyway, well, you’ll see. if you want to read this.

census data (introduction)

so i was able to find the census data for 1911 in ireland. those of you who are up to date on your irish history (pun intended) may be aware that in the nineteenth century, england “unionized” with ireland.

i can’t believe i’m saying this on a fucking warrior cats blog, but we’re not doing irish history discourse. it’s a complex issue. i come from a family of irish catholics. draw your own conclusions.

anyway.

there’s a lot of important and relevant history that i’m skipping over because this post is supposed to be for me, and you’re not here to read irish history, but basically: there’s a 1851 census and a 1901 census, and nothing in between.

in short, it’s quite lucky i have the census data for the time i need.

since i was able to find this (and i gotta say, it wasn’t easy, like, usually i’m like, “research is just a thing i do” but it was surprisingly difficult to find), and like most national archives it’s…not to be rude, but the site is ugly.

but here’s the home page for the data, with helpful other links including a tram timetable. (and yes, that is very exciting. if you’ve ever written historical fiction, you know how exciting that is. if not, welcome to my descent.)

i was originally focusing on individual names, but i have to name the whole family, and i have all the data, so let us begin.

irish history (short version)

jk you do need a bit of knowledge to understand my decisions.

if you don’t know, the 1850s is approximately the great potato famine. if you don’t know anything about it: it’s worse than you imagine. extra credits did a good series a while back.

england’s rule over ireland will lead into the troubles, a religious conflict that wasn’t…well, okay! let’s just say, it’s like, a joke that you don’t want to talk about it because people feel strongly about it. hopefully, most of you don’t. i do, but i’m being not biased, okay?

anyway, feature history did a two part series if you want to get caught up.

finally, you may ask, matthew, why the heck are you writing about such a weirdly specific time in history? to which i say: well, i wanted to have a religious conflict between heather and lion’s families, in such a way that it would make sense for them to grow up and realize they couldn’t be friends.

my mother’s family is irish and my dad spent a lot of time in northern ireland when i was a toddler, so naturally, it was just a thing i knew about. to the point where it had an impact over my name. it’s a long story that i’m not telling here.

anyway, when i think religious conflict that spirals into a real, violent conflict, i think: catholics and protestants in ireland. it’s far from the only example, but it’s one i know a lot about.

so why, then, am i starting in the 1910s? well…i need heather and lion to be friends growing up, and there’s a particular crisis leading up to world war one that makes 1914 a good date for this fic to cover.

also, i like this era of historical fashion.

alright, now that we’re all on the same page, i can get into what i actually want to talk about.

lion’s family

so now that i have my census data, i was able to actually look through specific families to name people after. that’s right, i’m…at the point in my life where i researched specific families and counties to name my human au warriors after.

this is why? i never talk about the…i think now 3? human aus in the work. like, i can’t say, “okay, there’s holly in this one” because like, her name might be holly in one and minnie in another, you don’t know!

anyway, i searched by head of family, under the following criteria:

church of england

can read and write

married

english (language)

3 living children

and then paged through every result to get just those with (at least) 2 sons and 1 daughter.

that gave me fourteen families. i saved all of them to a one tab list in case my first choice didn’t work out.

my first choice being the harris family.

i had a lot of good choices (one family with a daughter named violet was particularly tempting), and another with a son william and a daughter annie mary, but i liked the harris family just…in my gut.

that gives us:

bramble: joseph henry

squirrel: henrietta

jay: joseph henry

holly: henrietta lillian

lion: ian roy

which, well, i hope you can see why i chose them, even though this is a lionblaze centric fic and they don’t have an l in there.

great! am i going to backfill past this? not unless i need to, which is the point of me making this well documented research. i’m going to go through some of the other families at the end to find a leafpool name, because we do need her.

heather’s family

next up! we need a family of catholics in the same general area as the harris family.

so, back to the search.

i was able to narrow it down to the same street as lion, which is great.

honestly, the weirdness of this does not escape me. sue me, it’s warriors fanfic, i like researching. i could do this and just stitch together several families, or something, i don’t know. there’s something appealing to me in knowing that i have done my due diligence.

anyway, we’re again searching by head of household, and:

roman catholic

married

irish and english (language)

1 living child

cork (county)

fermoy urban (ded)

king street (townland/street)

and i again went through and kept only families with at least one daughter. or really, a wife, husband, and other female person in the house.

you can view that list here.

the flanagans were the clear winner here, with their singular daughter named hannah. (parents: john and mary.)

breezepelt’s family

and after that we’re still not done because i need crow, night, and breeze.

i’m searching with the same criteria, this time, though, i’m only keeping families with at least one son.

while i’m doing this, shout out to paddy patrick for being a real person.

here’s my full choice list. this time, i want to match crow’s name more than breezepelt’s, because there aren’t a lot (if any) b names. nightcloud would be nice, too.

i had a tough choice to make here, because there was a norah & john, and a cornelius & catherine. (couldn’t i just combine them? you’re missing the point. this is fun, i’m having fun.)

i ended up going with the cotters, because i preferred james for breezepelt.

this gives us

crow: john

night: norah

breeze: james

are you having fun with two johns? i sure am.

also worth pointing out is that people aren’t actually on the same street. i’m not searching with exact match on. they are all still in the same county, and that’s good enough.

extraneous

i have more than enough names to name any character i need, but some character names i may need.

leaf: looking for single, church of england, women. we’ll be using irene may key

fire & sand: just to fill in where leaf left off, thomas james & alice elizabeth, respectively.

cinder: had to remove the church of england restriction to find her, and then i had too many choices (i’m not paging through like 100 people, okay?), so i decided to search under injury “other,” just to narrow down the options. i chose sarah hanan, who also lives with her brother (nice touch).

and at this point i decided i had more than enough names and the ability to hunt down more whenever i needed them if they came up.

other stuff

i was going to do more than names but then i got tired whoops. it’s like, almost 1 am i’ve been doing this for like an hour.

anyway, that’s fine bc i know a lot about the other stuff i was going to talk about and now you know! i’ve done a bunch of families because that’s how much i care about accuracy.

#mine #txt #6th #June #2021 #June 6th 2021 #research #watlcitf #warriors #essay #q #11th #June 11th 2021

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sebthesnipe · 5 years ago

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The Dreamer by Whatwashernameagain An Analysis? Chapter 3 Part 2

All portions:

Chapter 1: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Chapter 2: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Chapter 3: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

The Dreamer

by @whatwashernameagain

Reminder: Spoilers under cut!

As Always if you have not done so please read @whatwashernameagain ‘s The Dreamer Chapter 3 before you continue. This analysis is pretty much a giant spoiler if you haven’t.

Also, you can find additional links to The Dreamer analysis on AO3 (and other works by me) here on my masterpost.

Warnings: homophobia, internalized homophobia, republican brainwashing, manipulation, mentioned pedophilia, violence, threatened sexual abuse, injuries, being pressured into sex, nakedness

Gonna just jump back in…

“Being kind as usual, no one chastised Roman for not capturing the Utilitarianist while he was recovering” (Whatwashernameagain).

Though Eva has never specifically said that Roman’s team is out to get him the dramatic irony is certainly implied. She has a way with directing the storyline through these paces to inform the reader that there is nothing ‘kind’ about Roman’s team. Whatever reason they have for not commenting on Roman’s failure to capture the Utilitarianist it is unlikely that it is out of the goodness of their hearts.

“Virgil was anxiously pacing around the bed as he came to, guilty and confused about why he’d been unable to track his friend. The poor thing, he was way too paranoid. Roman did his best to calm him” (Whatwashernameagain).

We see a bit into Virgil’s personality here. It is actually quite interesting if we pay close attention. Here Virgil is showing his anxious side. His guilt and confusion are moving him from his flat characterization (a character that is used to reveal information to push the story along) to a more rounded character. His guilt and confusion provide more insight into his emotional state, making him more developed.

Something, I find just as interesting is that the word ‘paranoid’ is used to describe him. While we as readers know that this is very fitting for the Virgil that is the personification of Anxiety. However, as a handler it is a bit… extreme. Here is a man meant to guide Roman through danger after danger. A typical person would need someone calm and collected in those intense situations. However, Virgil is not a calm and collected individual. Then again, Roman is not a typical individual. Perhaps, this opposition between the two personalities is intentional. I wouldn’t put it past Eva to think quite thoroughly through choosing Virgil as Roman’s handler, just as he was very thorough at choosing Remy as Logan’s. Roman’s… impulsivity *cough*adorable stupidity*cough* is the perfect balance for Virgil’s extreme paranoia and vice versa. For someone wanting to run into every burning building, someone jumping at every shadow can help remind him of his own mortality.

Speaking of more rounded characters, our boi Roman is making some progress himself.

“Despite not being in trouble for getting captured, the rescue had gotten to the media and was fueling the theories about the Dreamer and the Utilitarianist - to a worrying degree. It bothered Roman, since it was clearly ludicrous that he would fall for someone so irritating and immoral, but at least now that Virgil kept him updated, he wasn’t so ashamed anymore” (Whatwashernameagain).

I won’t go into our poor poor Roman’s denial again, but I don’t think it needs to be pointed out here anyways. We all see it. Though, I suppose the constant reminder is some strong foreshadowing. Though we can see Roman’s conscious opinion of Logan. He continues to call him irritating and immoral and perhaps Roman truly believes he is, though more likely subconsciously Roman find him heroic and misguided. The good news is that despite the unwanted publicity Roman is far more secure that he was prior thanks to Virgil.

Teal Swan (An American Spiritual Teacher) once said “We do not fear the unknown. We fear what we think we know about the unknown.” In Roman’s case, he was presented with a collection of hardcore BDSM fan art of himself and The Utilitarianist. The pictures themselves did not scare him, pictures themselves are not scary. However, it is what he thought he knew of the people who created them that scared him. It wasn’t until Virgil educated him that this changed. Roman’s knowledge of this ‘unknown’ grew and what he thought he knew shifted. Suddenly, these images weren’t so scary anymore. (That and he thinks he’s straight which is amusing AF).

Lillian Russell also once said “We all have a fear of the unknown. What one does with that fear will make all the difference in the world.” Roman may have allowed his fear to overpower him for a moment but he chose to stand against it and thus overcame it (with Virgil’s help of course). I realize that this is a bit off topic, but it is something that I feel needs to be said, especially now. The world around us is falling apart are there is no one hero to save us. Some people believe that this is the natural world fighting back against us, others believe it is a religious occurrence. I can’t say one way or another, but I do know that the fear is the same no matter the reasons behind this virus that is taking so many lives.

I can’t say for other countries or even other states, but the reaction to this pandemic that I have seen is heartbreaking. My family and I don’t go out, not because of fear of contracting the virus, but because of people’s reaction to the fear they feel. Fear is a strong motivator that causes conflicts among thousands of people every day. It is a virus in and of itself, breeding and spreading wherever it goes. The world is terrified, and it is our job to react appropriately to these fears, as individuals. You can’t control your neighbor’s reaction to their fear, but you can control your own and sometimes that is enough. Sometimes that enough to calm those around you. Perhaps you can be the beacon of hope that they need to find their own stability. Perhaps you can be the difference in their world.

Okay… Rant over… Back to the wonderful writing!

“Yes, the implication of being in a homosexual relationship and performing sodomy with his nemesis, something he’d been taught was impure and went against god’s wishes, still made heat rise into his cheeks, but he couldn’t help softening towards the mostly harmless fanculture” (Whatwashernameagain).

Okay, lets pay really close attention to the wording here because it is very important! Eva knows what she’s doing, the sly dog! Roman POV points out that the homosexual relationship that is painted between he and Logan is ‘something he’d been taught was impure and went against god’s wishes’. Hold up! Rewind! ‘Something he’d been taught’. No where in this section does Roman’s POV ever claim that Roman, himself, believes that it is wrong. He points out that he is taught that it is wrong, but once again we see the same impressionable boy I’ve mentioned throughout the previous chapters. A child’s thoughts is not their own, but their parents.

Since the last time I mentioned this, I have actually looked further into research behind this view (having children of my own, I find it even more compelling). A study from Cambridge University, published in 2013 points out that “Children are more likely to adopt their family's political views when politics is important to their parents, and the children of politically engaged parents tend to become politically engaged adults” (Dinas, Elias). Is this starting to sound familiar? Well, hold onto your trousers (if you’re wearing any) because it gets better. “When these transmission dynamics are considered together, an important hypothesis follows: the children who are most likely to initially acquire the political views of their parents are also most likely to later abandon them as a result of their own engagement with the political world” (Dinas, Elias). So, Roman is most likely getting his political views from his father through he’s more likely to lose those views as he gets older. Perhaps, we are seeing this now? He has never claimed to have the same beliefs, though he has pointed out that he has been thought them. So, the question is, when? When, if ever, will Roman discard these beliefs?

Well, other research shows that “Young people from politicised homes may be more likely to acquire an initial partisan orientation from their parents, but they are also more likely to abandon that preference as they enter adulthood and experience politics for themselves” (2013). So, most children who have adopted their parent’s belief like Roman has tend to shed those beliefs as they experience the real world and grow into adults. Here is where things change for RoRo. Firstly, he's never really experienced the world without his father or the team his father has provided to look after him. So, no real-world experience. Secondly, from what we have gathered Roman is still fairly young. Most likely, he’s in his mid-twenties, Logan being around thirty. So, Roman has also only been an adult for a few years now. That combined with the fact that he is just now breaking away from his father’s influence long enough to experience the world around him makes his realization that he does not have the same belief system that he once shared with his father inevitable. My only concern is that the possibility of Roman having an identity crisis due to his discovery of an isolated belief system. The poor boy is going to have a hard-enough time when he realizes he is gay… but to have his beliefs stripped away and rebuilt after defining himself by them so completely is going to be harder than anything he has ever faced.

I have barely managed to get through two paragraphs… Oof… We’re going to have to skim a bit if I’m going to get through this chapter in just four parts. We see Roman’s view points on LGBTQ+ community and his purity that we love so much! Then we see Karen’s (-.- You’re so F*ing static Karen!) view point of it. She suggests that they pray for them and their ‘wrong’ doings. Which would send me on a rant about ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and the human constructions that they are… and morality… and we’re just going to skip all that ^.^.

I’m going to brush past a lot of the dialog here but there are somethings that I want to touch on. Firstly, Eva uses verbal irony so beautifully that it hurts. Karen mentions that the LGBTQ+ community’s allegiance shows ‘the damage [the community’s] lifestyle had done to [the community’s] morals’ and asks Roman if he wants to ‘help people see a more healthy way to live’ (Whatwashernameagain). What Karen is really implying is that all of these people are sinful and need to be punished for the atrocities of their life choices. Karen’s pleasant tone and careful wording helps conceal the real meaning of her words which makes the verbal irony here quite beautifully written. Though what do we expect from Eva?

Before Roman can give his full reply, she cuts him off like the bitch she is…

I might be projecting a bit… I apologize…

Though, I also want to point out that during the interaction between Karen and Roman she never refers to him as anything but ‘dear’. Now, this is probably a me thing, but I can’t help myself. So, if you’ve read all of my analysis, you’d know that I have a background in Law Enforcement. Why is this important? Well, one of the first lessons you learn as a woman in Law Enforcement is that you don’t ever, EVER, allow someone to get away with calling you anything but Officer, Ma’am, or by your last name. Now, it might not seem that important to most people, but how can you expect someone to respect you if they continuously call you ‘girl’, ‘baby’, ‘sweetheart’, or ‘dear’. These are pet names. There is no respect to be had when someone is calling you by a pet name… at least not in a professional sense (romantic relationships are a different story. My husband can call me baby anytime he wants, and I still know that he respects me). Granted, there are some people that do this unconsciously. I’ve seen it mostly in older men who call every woman younger than them ‘sugar’ or ‘darlin’.

Still, there is a problem presented here. I’ve mentioned a number of times throughout this analysis of our thoughts effect on the outside world (specifically water and thus ourselves). A person can mean no disrespect by calling someone in an authoritative position ‘dear’ and yet by doing so, they effect their own thoughts, even subconsciously, resulting in a disrespect they may not even be aware of.

Karen provides us with a prime example of this. She calls Roman ‘dear’ because she has no respect for him. In her eyes, Roman is nothing but a tool to be used for her own gain. He holds no respect from her. He is merely a child to be manipulated however she sees fits. Hence, while she is maneuvering the hero to where she wants him, she refers to him as ‘dear’.

The next issue is that Roman is putty in her hands. The next paragraph is a reminder of Roman’s gullible nature. We see him easing into Karen’s manipulations and blaming himself once more. We see the same self-deprecation that has become a Roman original. It reminds us that Roman’s insecurities are yet another tool that his team uses against him. I believe I have mention something similar to this before, but in the words of Napoleon Hill “The only limitation is that which one sets up in one’s own mine.” In other words, Roman is limiting himself with his self-insulting nature. Once he allows himself to let go of that he will be a force to reckon with, someone even Karen’s bitch-ass can’t handle.

However, we see another indication that Roman’s views no longer match up with his team’s. Though it is obvious once again that his tendencies to put himself down really hinder him from being the hero that he has always dreamed of being.

“The fact that he wasn’t all that bothered by the shipping was probably making it worse. He was forgetting that his personal opinion wasn’t what mattered here” (Whatwashernameagain).

We also see him try to reaffirm his thoughts of Logan. He has to remind himself that his current thoughts of Logan are not what they are supposed to be. Logan is the Utilitarianist and the Utilitarianist is still his archenemy. Roman, still in denial, is trying to recenter himself for the task at hand. Of course, this also brings up the sense of paranoia that Karen is helping sew inside him. This conflict of course is more than just what it seems.

Roman’s dilemma of right and wrong is also a battle of his sexuality. It is a battler of his views. It is a battle of who he is. Is Roman the man that found comfort in another man’s arms? Or is Roman the man who subjected himself to torture to be what he thought the world needed? Is he larger than life or at the end of a day is he as vulnerable to his emotions as the rest of us are?

We also see more of that dramatic irony as Karen plants the notion that the Utilitarianist did not help individuals. While, for the most part this is true, there is more to this. We know that as the Utilitarianist Logan pays no attention to the individual. In that aspect Karen is correct. However, Logan has shown on more than one occasion, his appreciation for Roman’s work and his appreciation for Roman himself. This would imply that Karen is correct; The Utilitarianist does not help individuals just as the Dreamer would never seek the help of a villain. However, Logan would help an individual, just as Roman would seek comfort from another. These men are more than their uniform despite what Karen would have them believe.

Eva moves into foreshadowing with a simple sentence, a perfectly places three word sentence that hits us all where it hurts:

“Roman’s heart sank” (Whatwashernameagain).

Whatever is about to come is gonna hurt…

Karen claims they have found a way to fix the entire situation caused by the rescue… Still calling my bae ‘dear’ -.- Most of us know where this is going and…

Susan…

By the way, I love these horribly generic cis white names that Eva keeps coming up with. It’s hilarious. As for Susan’s description…

“Flipping open the file, Roman found that the solution was called Susan. She was a white woman with blonde hair and cornflower-blue eyes. Upper middle class. Conservative” (Whatwashernameagain).

I have so many issues with this… First off, leave it to these assholes to chiose a nazi’s wet dream for our boi. (No offense Eva, I love you and I think it was a perfect choice <3) So, to start off, they chose a woman that conform’s to America’s unrealistic standards of beauty. I’m sure she where’s far too much make up and could have any man in the world. This, of course, is in no way a shot at woman that look like this. Every person is beautiful, and I will not body shame someone no matter how they look. However, it is obvious that Eva created Susan to conform to these standards and thus needs to be addressed. The fact that Susan is Middle class is also a deliberate choice in the sense that if they chose a woman that was any higher Roman would be seen as greedy and shallow and if he were to be seen with someone of the lower class, he would lose funding. As for Conservative… Well… I don’t think I need to say anything here.

I’m going to move on before I get too annoyed with this. As we move forward, Karen notes that Roman looks spooked. This is call indirect characterization, which is when another character tells us something about a character. In this case Eva is using Karen to reinforce that Roman is uncomfortable with the opposite sex or romantic relations in general. Though as a reader we already are aware of the ship this fic is based around, so we know that the later probably isn’t true. Karen also refers to Susan as ‘A little friend’ which is very demeaning and implies that Karen sees Susan the same way she sees Roman, as a tool. It is obvious that Karen believes Roman can be persuaded by sex though his uncomfortable nature certainly speaks otherwise.

This also highlights a bit of the Right wing’s thoughts on women in general and how they should be treated though I feel as if I should refrain from pushing my own opinions on their beliefs into this analysis. However, in extremists’ case (both men and women) have repeated claimed that women have a specific ‘role’ in society, and it is not equal to their male counter parts. Now, the fact that I disagree may label me as a feminist, but I prefer the label of equalist as you will note when we get into the heartier bits of this chapter.

I once again want to remind everyone of the warning attached to this chapter. They are there for a reason, please pay attention to them.

“Roman stared at her, trying to find words for the sudden fear he felt. Laughter about his shocked expression filled the room, then quieted and finally tapered off into awkward silence.

“I… I need to think about it.” Roman had finally stuttered. Karen’s smile had grown forced” (Whatwashernameagain).

Here we see Roman faced with fear that is not surprising in an individual that has not realized he is homosexual. In fact, it is a very real and horrible feeling. I mentioned in my last post the fact that mental anguish can feel worse than physical and here we see a man being mentally tortured.

In a previous chapter I also discussed Roman’s inability to watch porn. Imagine, if you will, a man who has not accepted himself for who he is and can not allow himself the thought of two men together. Therefore, gay porn does not exist to him. Instead the only porn he knows of is male+female. The thought of sex with a female makes him uncomfortable and/or squeamish. He does not need to realize that he is gay to know this and instead probably thinks there is something wrong with himself. So, perhaps it is not the Roman is different from every other (sexually driven (because I realize there are different sexualities that do not have the same urges)) American’s out there, he is not alone, it is just that he doesn’t understand his own preferences. Our poor baby has never been taught how to cope in a heterosexual driven world and thus buries his true self from everyone including himself. This would make the forced relationship between himself and Susan all the more painful, no doubt.

As if to prove my point, Eva describes the room’s laughter at Roman’s hesitance. No doubt they know he is gay even if he doesn’t and finds his torture amusing. Though, our poor naïve RoRo probably doesn’t see it that way.

““Think about it? But of course, dear. We just want you to have a coffee together, go on a walk. If she’s not the right one for you, we can surely find another lady friend for you. Is it the hair color? The figure? We are very flexible for your preferences. Within a reasonable limit, of course.” She soothed him, patting his hand again” (Whatwashernameagain).

Karen of course, senses these things and tries to reassure Roman. She reminds him that their relationship doesn’t have to be sexual, in her subtle way. She also adds that if he doesn’t like Susan, they can find someone else more suited to his needs. However, she pointedly adds that it has to be ‘another lady friend’, which of course would imply that she is aware the Roman might be gay as well, and that it is unacceptable.

We also see Karen discussing women as if they can be ordered off a menu. I’ll take a five four Hispanic woman, hold the curves! Bitch please! You’re an over glorified pimp at this point! No one should be characterized in this manner, men, women, or non-binary! It is an outrage and the fact that it is so upsetting while still so subtle is another nod to how amazingly skilled the author is. Eva astounds us once again by creating a realistic subtle lifelike villain. Brava, Brava!

Roman sees Karen’s intended words as well, which is a development for the naïve man. He sees exactly what his limitations are:

“A reasonable limit meaning white, Christian, conservative, born American, cis, heterosexual female, his mind supplied. Suddenly, he felt terrible. His stomach hurt” (Whatwashernameagain).

By choosing a woman of these standards, Roman would be checking off all the boxes for his far Right winged team. If he misses any of these boxes it could send the wrong message. If she’s anything but heterosexual, then he supports LGBTQ+ communities. If she’s of any other culture, then he supports the minorities. If she is not conservative, then neither is he.

This is a big moment for the hero. He is finally grasping the idea of just how trapped he is there. He may be one of the strongest people in the world but the chains around him are heavier than those of a man in prison.

Still, fear is a powerful motivator and when faced with too much our instincts kick in. Roman faces his fight or flight instincts and fighting is not an option. So, he gives in. He agrees to Susan because what else can he do?

Still, ignoring the comment about men being men, that Eva know doubt added to hammer that last nail in Karen’s well-deserved coffin, we see more of Roman’s inner turmoil with his sexuality. “He tried not to think about the disastrous attempts at dating women, of the many nights he’d prayed to god to make him stop having those terrible thoughts, about his fear of going to hell for his dreams. He’d thought he’d escaped the pressure of going out with women when he’d dedicated his life to fighting for justice.

He buried himself under his blanket and tried not to think of her. This nice, normal girl, and about how wrong he felt imagining touching her” (Whatwashernameagain).

This gives me pause. Up until now it has been Roman’s unaware of his sexuality and at first seems much of the same; and yet, we see him mention dreams. What sort of dreams could Roman be having? Wet dreams of a certain vigilante? Probably nothing so lude, but a girl could dream. Regardless, it is possible that Roman is aware that he is homosexual and is simple repressing the knowledge for his own safety. Because, in a world as hostile as the one he is experiencing… Coming out can be as dangerous as stepping into the middle of a gang war…

“Children with Politically Engaged Parents Are More Likely to Deviate from Their Parents' Political Views in Adulthood.” EUROPP, 17 May 2013, blogs.lse.ac.uk/europpblog/2013/05/17/children-with-politically-engaged-parents-are-more-likely-to-deviate-from-their-parents-political-views-in-adulthood/#Author.

Dinas, Elias. “Why Does the Apple Fall Far from the Tree? How Early Political Socialization Prompts Parent-Child Dissimilarity.” British Journal of Political Science, vol. 44, no. 4, 2014, pp. 827–852., doi:10.1017/S0007123413000033.

Whatwashernameagain. “The Dreamer - Chapter 1.” Hello Guys Gals And Non Binary Friends, 8 Sept. 2019, https://whatwashernameagain.tumblr.com/post/187581477262/the-dreamer-chapter-1.

#The Dreamer #literary analysis #analysis #so long!#Spoot is a nerd

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