#anyways. i'll stop saying all the things i can't say irl on here

[cloudcountry]

guys im so sorry depression and evil thoughts have been kicking my ass again and ive come to the realization that i will always have to live with them. not fun but i am going to sleep now so hopefully i feel better in the morning.

[remcycl333]

my sp story <3

hi besties! if you've been following my blog for a while you know that i've been single for a while, partly because i like to be independent and single, and partly because i just didn't like anyone. obviously i could just manifest a guy out of thin air, but when im not confronted face to face with a crush then i just don't care about being in a relationship so i never manifested someone out of thin air lol

but then a couple of weeks ago i was at the movies with my friends, and there were couples cuddling around us and i was like "aw :( kinda wish i had a bf now." and what do we do when we feel any type of desire? we immediately fulfill ourselves, no matter how "small" the desire is! so that's what i did. i imagined for like two seconds that i was cuddling with a boy at the theaters, and then i got distracted by the movie and forgot all about it

then like 15 minutes later, a guy that i'd had a crush on four years ago randomly slid into my dms. i never pursued him four years ago bc my bff at the time had dibs on him, but we're not friends anym and haven't been for years so it was my time to shine!!!

anyway, we talk for like a week. i know this guy is funny and shit bc of when we hung out irl, but like all he's sending me are unfunny memes that don't really warrant a response. so it was kinda tough

and this is the part where you guys are going to yell at me!!! i was like oh i should use my manifestation skills and make sure this goes smoothly....but then i was like nah im just gonna go with the flow 😭😭😭 and i know you guys are like REM!!!! u manifest EVERYTHING u can't just turn it off!!!! anyway.....long story short a week into us talking this mf randomly blocks me!!!!

so im instantly like 🙄🙄 damn fine i'll manifest him back bc im stubborn and do not like being told no in my reality

so how did i do it? how did i manifest him back?

if you guys have followed me for a while, you know that i manifested an sp a couple years ago by simply affirming "i love [his name] so much" any time i'd think of him and this would conjure the feeling of the wish fulfilled. (NOT mindless affirming. i'd say it maybe two or three times to catch the feeling and then move on)

ANYWAY so that's what i did! and let me tell you....i was not "perfect" by any means 😭 in fact this manifestation really kinda opened my eyes on how EASY manifestation truly is. like i already knew how easy it was, but damn!

if you know that your desire is promised and that it is coming because you gave it to yourself in imagination (even ONCE) ... there is NOTHING that will stop it. i was gonna make a separate post on this and i tried but i just couldn't articulate it correctly so im going to try again:

it took 12 days to manifest him to unblock me and message me. im sure it would've taken a shorter amount of time if i was more disciplined with myself but it's kinda crazy bc of how UNdisciplined i was 😭 tbh i was just kinda like...unsure if i even wanted to manifest him at all bc thats how much i value my alone time and my independence lol

anyway, i always get asks from people who are stressed and anxious bc they think that in order to manifest your desire, you can never enter the state of lack ever again and that dwelling in negative thoughts will "ruin" your manifestations. but i am here to tell you IT DOES NOT MATTER!!! you do not need to be "perfect"!!!! as long as you are staying faithful to the idea that you have your desire in the 4d, it'll manifest in the 3d.

another thing i see so many people confused and stressed about is whether or not they're naturally thinking from the state. for instance, every time you think of your sp, you think from the end of being in a relationship with them, before you think of the fact that you're not together yet. and let me tell you....while this CAN happen, it's not always gonna happen and it's not necessary. let me tell you, the DAY before my sp reached out, and even the day that he did....i would catch myself thinking about how we weren't together! but the gag is....YOUR THOUGHTS DON'T MANIFEST!!!! yes, they indicate what state you're in, but the actual thoughts themselves don't mean shit!!! they don't manifest. they just don't!

so i'd shift back to the state of being my sp's girlfriend when i'd have these thoughts, but i was fully aware we were not together in my 3d and i never naturally thought of us as being together before i saw any evidence of it in my 3d. all i had was the knowing that my inner man was with my sp, and that since i'd decided i had it in imagination, it would push out into my 3d. because that's how the law works!!! and honestly, that's all you really need. you just need to know that since you gave yourself your desire in your imagination ONE TIME, it WILL manifest. and if you have a true understanding of how the law works and you've read source, you will have no trouble knowing that it will come.

you also do NOT need to be in the state of the wish fulfilled 24/7!!! at all!!!! i cannot stress this enough. and tbh i used to feel the same. i felt like i had to be aware of having my desire in imagination 24/7 or else it wouldn't come. i thought i couldn't perceive the lack or opposite in my 3d or else it wouldn't manifest (see this post about dismissing the 3d btw if u need help with that). but the gods honest truth is that all you need to do is DECIDE you have your desire in imagination & not take no for an answer & KNOW that your desire is GOING TO REFLECT IN YOUR 3D NO MATTER WHAT!!!!

and that's not to say that you wont still get anxious and have intrusive thoughts and be like "oh god what if it never manifests." like... im human and i had those human moments. but i just reminded myself that i know the law and ive proven it to myself many times and i know that it had to manifest.

anyway. back to my sp story!

so for these 12 days that im blocked (lmfao) all i did was affirm "i love [his name] so much" whenever i thought of him until i caught the feeling of the wish fulfilled. that's it. and i knew for a fact that he was mine in the 4d and therefore we'd be together in the 3d bc that's the law!

anyway on friday (5 days ago) at 8pm? im scrolling thru the ulta app and then im like "oh i havent fulfilled myself today i dont think" so i fulfilled myself for like 2 seconds and then get distracted by some product and then two minutes later i get a notif that this guy followed me and then dmed me 😭

it's funny cuz my irls don't know about the law of assumption so i sent them a screenshot and i was like "look who came crawling back" and they were like BOOOOO!!! and i was like no guys!!!!! i created the blocking and i created this like i promise we can trust him 😭😭 hahahaha

anyway. let me tell you. if you are manifesting an sp, DO NOT DO THAT SHIT IN STEPS!!!!! i mean, if you really want to, i can't stop you, but i really don't recommend it.

with my old sp (the one from two years ago) i'd always manifest contact and then get it, and then he'd ghost me and and id have to manifest contact again and it'd be a never ending cycle!!! bc i was just focusing on contact, not on how i felt or how he felt about me.

the reason i loveeee to affirm "i love my sp so much" INSTEAD OF "HE loves ME so much" is because it helps me catch the feeling of the wish fulfilled so much more. not only that, but because remember, THERE IS NO ONE TO CHANGE BUT SELF!!!! changing the way i see my sp and the way i feel about him is all i need to do. im not trying to change him and make him love me lol. this is about me and my inner reality, not him! he'll reflect whatever i am in the 4d

another reason i love affirming this is because TO ME, this is what implies we are already together. whenever im in a relationship, i always find myself laying around all giddy thinking about how obsessed with my bf i am and how i love him so much. so i emulate that when im manifesting an sp.

and it's PERFECT because by jumping straight to the end where we're already together, i don't have to focus on all the things that lead to us being in a relationship. i don't have to manifest him following me, or texting me, or asking me on a date. these things all just happen naturally bc im living in the end.

NOT TO MENTION, it naturally turns your sp into your perfect partner? like remember when i said when we were talking before he blocked me he was kinda dry and he'd just send memes that i didn't find funny? THIS DUDE DID A COMPLETE 180!!!

he's sooo funny, he is the OPPOSITE of dry, he is everything???? and im obsessed.

anyway he unblocked me and dmed me, and then asked for my number and we had such funny and cute convos and then boom 4 days later he asks me on a date and i say no (😭😭😭😭 i was busy) but i agreed to go on a date the next day and the way this boy showed pure unencumbered excitement 🥺 im obsessed

anyway im sorry this is so long? i really just wanted to share how all i did was apply what i've been preaching about on this blog for years and it worked out flawlessly! hopefully this gives you guys some good tips and maybe motivation? <3

[violetasteracademic]

Rambling thoughts post. Won't delete.

I learned a long time ago to stop commenting on the state of the ship war/ SJM fandom as a whole and asking people to be kinder, and anyone who has followed me for a while (which sounds silly to say since I've only been here since March) has likely witnessed my slow disillusionment of the SJM fandom space. As my therapist said, if you keep trying to clean up debris in someone's house who refuses to fix their roof, you'll drain yourself for nothing. (That was about my ex husband but hey I think it applies here.) I've also realized that in the long run, individual creators don't matter, really. There are too many creators in this space who burn out and disappear and even if it upsets or disappoints people in the moment, there is always someone to replace them. I'm very replaceable. My thoughts really don't matter. But here they are anyway.

The SJM tumblr space is extremely hostile and negative. But it isn't all hostile and negative, and the more I filter out the shipwar content and anti content (seriously, I have filters on anti elriel, anti gwynriel, anti elucien, and shipwar buzzwords like delusional, reading comprehension, touch grass, ECT and thank you to my dear friend @yourstarsmyscars for showing me how much more the filters can do than I realized!) the more free I am to see how many kind and wonderful creators there are on here making cute art and amazing fanfics and nourishing a positive fandom ecosystem.

Again, I don't matter in the long run. I'm not sure how many people even still follow me really since I've stopped engaging in the shipwars beyond art, fics, and kind posts. But I do want to let anyone out there who, like me, has had their tolerance for the ship wars plummet to the core of the earth, break through the crust in the middle of the Pacific ocean, and then drift into space, know that there IS kindness in this fandom beyond the noise. There are people doing great work on all sides, who are welcoming to all, and just trying to create something people will enjoy.

I can't say I'll be here forever, or even much longer. But I feel moved to signal boost the positivity. I also know that, although I do believe I tried very hard to be positive and not insulting the majority of the time, I had days that I let the negativity get to me and I was snarkier than I wish I would have been. I'm truly sorry if I ever made a post that even remotely hurt anyone's feelings or added to the negativity. I'd go back and delete them, but frankly they are my most popular posts and still get reblogged so it feels sort of pointless since reblogs don't get deleted.

Although I am an Elriel in my heart of hearts, I want to continue to be a welcoming space for all. If that means my followers get cut in half or only a few people interact with my posts, that's okay with me. I can't try to patch the roof of the fandom, but I can keep my own space toasty and warm for anyone looking for reprieve, regardless of who you ship. I've stated multiple times here that I'm the only Elriel in my IRL friendships, and I love my friends dearly. I tried to speak to Tumblr as a whole the way I'd speak to them, and I didn't always do that. But the world is too abysmal and scary and a lot of SJM fans come online and struggle to find a space that isn't extremely hostile and negative.

Here's to all the goofy little spooks making art, fics, texts, and transcending the shipwars and just trying to connect over the things we love.

In the words of our Lord and Savior Taylor Swift, I want to be defined by the things I love, not the things I hate.

Also still committed to writing a banger Elain Lucien and Azriel throuple once I get through my laundry list of current fics. Maybe a quadruple with Gwyn. Maybe I'll just write a giant orgy, actually.

[kithtaehyung]

3tan slice:

yoongi watching reader get ready 🍊

stopppp i love this :((( this is for the 3tan yoongi and irl yoongi missers (at least, one of the things i have planned<;333)

"How about this one?"

Oh, you're back already. Adjusting his arm, Yoongi lifts his head to check his phone screen, wondering if you're gonna pass up this next dress too despite him liking the hell out of it.

"Is that new?"

Your smile is truly one of his favorite things.

"Yeah! Got it when I went shopping with Yuri. Well. She made me get it."

When you pout, do you know how it affects him?

Yoongi just huffs through his nose, settling into the crook of his elbow and letting the warmth of afternoon coat his shoulder. Casting a quick look out his blinds, he wishes you were here instead, coming in and out of another closet that comes to mind.

"Is it bad? Damn."

"Huh?" Shit, he never answered out loud. "Nah, that's the one."

"Oh, okay. You didn't say anything."

Still his problem. A million thoughts, with nowhere to go. "Sorry, doll. Just thinking."

You're in the middle of undressing offscreen, which is yet another thing he finds incredibly endearing. He can only see one of your elbows peek into the frame as you question,

"Work again?"

"You," he corrects, full of sleepiness and void of hesitation.

"Oh."

Eyes fully shut, Yoongi doesn't lift them again until you fetch for another opinion. Which is longer than he expects because you go fully silent for a bit.

"Okay, how's this?"

His eyes flicker open seconds before his heart skips.

Fuck.

He hasn't felt his chest beat like that in a minute.

Are words coming out this time? Or is his tongue as uncooperative as his brain? Why can't he say the simplest shit when you're just standing in front of him? Fuck, he can't even articulate anything but he just knows you're fucking beautiful.

When the hell did you steal his voice, too?

"I'll let you sleep," you whisper, and he hates how down you sound because should never have a reason to feel that way. "Just text me when you can, yeah?"

If he can't say how he feels, Yoongi goes for the second option. And he's not letting that one fail. "Come over when you're done."

"Wait, what?"

He adjusts his head again, slanting a bit higher to admire everything about you. "After your dinner."

"You need to sleep..."

Why are you so considerate when it comes to him? What did he ever do to deserve anything you're willing to give? He's thought about these things so much that they take up most of his sleepless, tired nights. "You're gonna keep me up looking like that anyway."

"But.. what about.."

"I won't take long."

"You sure?"

"No."

God. Yoongi will never, ever get over the ways you try to hide that shyness. There's no way he can stop his grin, and when you make him swear it will be quick, he also can't stop himself from teasing yet again,

"Depends on how long you last."

"Alright, bye," you deadpan, giving him sweet rejection and hitting him where it hurts so good. But you smile once more, agreeing to come over but only for a tiny, tiny bit.

"That's all I need, doll."

"Prove it."

Oh.

He intends to.

Because you can make him speechless for now.

But when it comes to showing you how he feels?

There's no way you're shutting his ass up.

-

-

3tanslices: mini-scenarios!

series: three tangerines

[revalition]

OCT 4 - DRAMA

Play the actor. Lie and detect lies.

the composition of this one is gross but that's what this is all about - making something not great really fast every day and posting it anyway haha.

also if anyone recognizes what the middle one is from I'll give you a hundred bucks (Lie)

as usual, nerding out under the cut

drama drama drama drama

starting with this one because I literally just slap these in here in whatever order I come across them in. There's no rhyme or reason to it. I probably searched on "I" because I like seeing skills talk about themselves haha

at least he's trying to stop you...

Drama nicknames!!

the council!! I refer to my personal skills as the council sometimes haha, drama my love.

drama will break you out of the loop if all the others fail you!

ty drama, you poor thing. who is 'us'? Harry's the only one there, so is he referring to them and the other skills? harry and the multitudes that are drama? you go ahead and protect all of you from the fear honey

ily drama, they react sooo dramatically to being rejected

drama! nooo. what is there to say? these are different highly expensive ceramic boots???

drama! no!

I'm not certain what chain of events leads to Kim inspecting the boots later, but this is too funny

drama. please. honey.

he's so bad. an excellent lie detector, a fantastic liar, but also a compulsive liar!

At least sometimes he urges you to lie for good too.

drama ily. even if a wall of text is my idea of entertainment. i peruse fayde for fun, drama would die

dramaaa

I just love the wording of this one, it's so funny.

this one's right after limbic system tells you it's time to wake up. it's a bit melancholy...

you tell her drama, tell her about your and harry's many heads.

Sometimes he uses I, sometimes we. The other skills always refer to drama singularly (he, this one, etc.). I'm never quite sure if I should use him or them...

dddrama

denial, denial, denial...! but ty for trying

random but this is the maximum number of ssss... used by drama. 10 in a row!

I was highly offended in my first playthrough when I got this. I got it fast too (though not as fast as the sorry cop...) And I had 1 INT so I had barely heard from Drama! I was like, what's with this guy? I'm not boring >:(

drama's comments on kim are very important to me. I also have a rather dry sense of humour and cast off things I don't understand as joke. at least drama gets it.

also the things I would give to have someone whisper 'that's sarcasm, sire' to me. im not sure i invested my irl skill points in the right stats :,(

Like, I've got skills in my head and they can't even decode social interactions for me? cmon guys

Also! had some fun running the different language versions of Drama's name through google translate. It's hard to know how accurate the translations are but they are diverse! Acting, drama (ofc), art of drama, dramaturgy, mysterious (???), dramatic arts, acting arts, theatre, showmanship. I like it... gives a little more insight into what Drama's skill represents. Because he is so much more than *just* drama, and at the same time, drama is an umbrella that includes everything he's good at. hmm.

Another random fact: Drama calls you sire 91 times! (and my liege 16 times). And Harry only once, when you fail karaoke...

Other things I keep track of: he says sorry only twice! never says fuck. and only damages your morale on one occasion. These things are oddly important to me and I want to place them in a spreadsheet. Maybe I want to sort by most apologetic skill okay? Skill that swears most. Skill that calls you by your name most. I'm so normal about these guys.

[princehendir]

I am so desperate to hear you say more abt Varric because you're right

Do you mind if I kinda babble here for a bit.

Okay so, Like the obvious counterpoint to what I'm speculating here, just to get it out of the way, is "actually Varric is just unfuckable because he has a wretched personality and politics", which I would say is fair except for the fact that has literally never stopped dragon age fans before so why would that stop them now? Clearly there's some other factor or factors at work here, even if they aren't the ones that I'm getting at.

But anyways. I really do think that what makes it most obvious that the State of Varric fanfic has a lot to do with attractiveness and body type standards and the baggage people have in regards to them is just, like, reading any of the Varric fic that actually does exist. Or fic for any dwarven character really.

It's hard to be specific about what I'm talking about here because I'm like, allergic to the idea of directly quoting or even just vagueing other people's fanfiction, even when it's bad. So I'll just say dude. Duuuuude I've read some crazy things, ranging from "This is awkwardly written because the author has never described a man that isn't a hunk or a twink." to "wow. Jesus Christ. Oh my god. You cannot describe a person's body like that what's wrong with you". Like often there's this kind of, thin film of disgust over all the physical descriptions. Or there's a vibe of "you find this strangely attractive even though it shouldn't be. This is attractive but it's objectively strange and weird" in the narration that I'm usually used to finding in monsterfucker fic? But it's layered over descriptions of just totally normal traits that humans irl also have instead of like, you know, tentacles. Which obviously feels pretty bad.

And this is honestly a much bigger thing because the source material is also weird about dwarves & attractiveness. Between word of god comments from writers, to in-game ambient dialogue in the Rose, codex/war table text, and just the fact that while it's not too terrible and there's some other stuff going on there, the idea of women being attracted to Varric is largely treated as a joke, the general vibe you get from most of the da series is that if you aren't dwarven yourself, being attracted to dwarves makes you at best kind of a harmless fetishist and at worst, a huge pervert, derogatory.

So there's a lot to unpack there already but it's still really sad that once again fandom can't collectively manage to be any better than the source material, even when the source material is like, dragon age. Famous bad game dragon age. Like fandom is sooo progressive but cannot manage to be collectively better than dave gaider. Okay.

[tricksterringmaster]

another long very chaotic personal rant, getting it out there (again, i know, i absolutely hate myself too for it, no one really needs to read it, but i just feel better having it posted)

i hate so much when there is THE ARTIST in fandom. a big figure whose art become the face of characters, the face of the ship and everything.

there are ofc always big and small artists, but it's just so fucking overwhelming to see these particular people. especially when they grow out of nowhere in several months, achieving results you can only dream of and for which you will probably never have enough time, talent and what not.

i tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesn't even matter or whatever linking park said.

sometimes i just want to get a little lucky at least fucking once instead of contantly grinding, living on 4 hours of sleep and moving like a fucking turtle in everything, no matter how much time i spend and how hard i try.

i want to be praised on these fucking discord servers without dragging my art all over the place like a seller person on the market. i want someone to use my art in their stupid slideshow on tiktok. i want them to get it and post it as illustration for some quote they liked on twitter. hell, i don't care, steal it, sell it, say it yours. for me it just means you love it so much, with my paranoia i won't be able to make money from my art anyway in this fucking country.

i want to feel like what i do makes sense and worth it in the end.

would be nice to feel like that about things irl too, but it seems even more impossible, because i'm absolute failure of a person.

i know i need to be happy and grateful about what i have, i need to compare myself to my past self, but it's just not what i feel at all. my past self had quite some moments of being better than me now, even if this self wasn't aware of it in these particular moments.

life feels so fucking unfair, and i feel jealous, angry, petty, overwhelemed, miserable and "i should stop sleeping at all, take 100 courses to get better, do 1000 tutorials, do more sport, eat even less, do better, better, better NOW" about it. and stop fucking crying, because it's petty and no one needs it.

i also feel so fucking guilty about being happy about occasional nice comments and words only for a moment, instead of focusing on them for longer times, i can't fight these dread and anxiety of feeling insignificant forever. these days it's worthy throwing a party if someone decided to say something nice, but i feel happy for a day and then get back to feeling like shit.

i also feel guilty for wanting these things when i know people who have it even worse. but just knowing that someone had it worse is perspective, not particularly a better feeling. i feel bad we all have it so bad. i'd prefer us all to succeed and achieve what we want. find communities, find love, find appreciation. and be fucking happy, be content, not on the constant "happy for a moment and then dread-dread-dread" rollecoaster that never fucking stops.

all i see is not the light at the end of the tonnel, but the tonnel at the end of the light and it gets closer and closer, darker and darker every other week.

i know that i'm annoying and talk about feeling bad often these days, but it just how it is. sometimes you are a mess and you have to live through it, hoping it all will end one way or another.

i'll talk with my therapist about it, but my next session is only on friday, so here is some extremely chaotic self-reflection. i need to survive this thursday and part of friday to get there and somehow work in process. there is a prospect of losing a job now, but no one knows anything, haha. sometimes it feels that good news are out of stock at all.

[hazbinhazbinhazbinreblog]

It's been a week and there's still no solution to their problem. Alastor and Vox are still stuck in this parallel world without any solution to getting back home.

They're stuck playing nice with each other until they do.

Alastor's grin strains as he listens to the other Overlords bicker with each other. One day of interrogation. Six days listening to this drivel.

He doesn't want to stay here any longer. Alastor stands up, intending to just walk out.

"Where are you going?" Other Carmilla asks.

"Out," Alastor says. "Many apologies but I simply cannot stay here any longer. I can't help Vox with whatever he's trying to do right now."

Other Vox rolls his eyes and Other Alastor simply nods once. All the others murmur a few small pleasantries of understanding.

Except for one.

Alastor starts walking towards the door.

"So you're leaving? Good!" Vox shouts after him. "I never needed you or your help anyway. Not now, not in the 50s! So just go on and run away again! You're useless baggage!

Alastor stops. "What did you just say?"

Vox scowls. "I said—"

Everyone in the room jumps as Alastor suddenly surges towards Vox with a burst of static and slams him against the wall, hands gripping the TV demon's collar tightly.

Alastor cricks his neck as his eyes turn to dials. "May I remind you who exactly found you when you arrived in Hell? I did. I found you and helped put you together.We used to be friends, Vox, and you were the one who threw twenty years of partnership out the window in exchange for false promises made by a lecherous sinner demon that went against everything we worked together on. You tossed me aside and bad-mouthed my domain."

The others collectively frown, trying to decipher Alastor's words through the thick radio filter.

Vox opens his mouth, intending to object before Alastor slams him against the wall again. His voice comes out less tinny, and more clear. His radio filter is waning.

“Don't say you didn't. You called me a relic of the past and ran in the opposite direction with your new beau so you could capitalize on every new little thing. I may be the one who left for seven years, but you have always had me. You still have me! I was the one who was forced to let go because I. Lost. You.”

He punctuates his last three words with larger and larger bursts of static before clarity rushes back to him.

Alastor's pants with exertion as he realizes what he's just done: spilled his secrets and bared his vulnerabilities to Vox, something he swore he'd never do again after the 70s. He can't stay here. He'll just get wound up again. He needs to go.

All the tension in his body leaves. He takes a step back and lowers Vox to the ground. Everyone stares at him.

He chooses not to look at them and turns towards the corner of the room. “I'll be out. Come find me when I'm not itching to tear you into pieces.”

And with that, he walks briskly into the shadows and melts away.

The others turn to stare at Vox, who's shaking.

Instead of saying anything, though, he turns and marches out of the room.

The lights flicker for a long time before they each burst and plunge the room into darkness.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

No words just screaming this is fucking BRILLIANT and every detail we got from ep 8 is just making this hurt more but also love it even more I'm going to scream irl

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

ok you made good points for the most part but something in your helluva post confuses me: how in the world has stolas been "sexually abusing octavia the entire series"?

going off of the definition of sexual abuse (rape, assault, trafficking, molestation, coercion, etc.) i cannot think of anything that even remotely points to evidence of that.

surely, SURELY you aren't claiming that just because he said something sexual on the phone in front of her? not even TO her or ABOUT her? that's a misstep for sure, but going so far as to call that sexual abuse is... just not correct.

maybe if he did it on purpose or specifically because she was around, but to me it reads like he forgot she was there and got caught up in the phone conversation. there's no evidence that it happened more than once either, so "the whole series" is a biiig stretch.

i REALLY hope that specific moment isn't what you mean, because that's the kind of claim that really softens the meaning of the term... but i really can't think of anything else that even suggests it.

I feel like theres definitely a way to say "Hey! We seem to disagree on this interpretation of this show! I have no fucking idea where you are coming from, can you explain?" Without turning it into a...definition....of rape.......to the rape victim........and also accusing said rape victim of "softening" language?? Would the term sexual harassment be better?? I personally think it's arbitrary to say "thats not technically sexual abuse, its just weird, stop calling it that" when it's something sexual.....that hurts someone?? Idk its semantics.

So anyway ignoring the vibes you brought to the table, I was talking to my irl friend about Helluva, back when the stolitz shit was happening. And I was complaining because of how CLEAR the abuse in that dynamic is to me. And he was like "I think cuz of your trauma that you're reading into it too much and taking it too seriously." And I was like "IF VIV WANTS POINTS FOR DOING SA REP, THEN IM GONNA TAKE EVERYTHING SUPER SERIOUSLY"

The difference between us is that I was sexually abused, and trafficked(not sex trafficked but still) so when I watch this show, I IMMEDIATELY pick up on things happening there. While he doesn't because he's """normal"""" and not traumatized, so he just sees fun dick joke show about dick and balls. I think a lot of this fandom is a mix of both. People like me picking up on signs, and other people who just are here for jokes and don't necessarily notice all the really bad shit because thats not exactly their lived experience. Completely understandable, I don't hold it against anyone for not noticing it the way I do. But I do see it, and wanna bitch about it.

We're in hell. This show is set in the actual human bible hell damnation hell for hell people. I think there's a way to read some characters as "uwu babies", but I'm not gonna. It's hell. In hell. I'm going to be giving no one the benefit of the doubt, and assume the worst in people until proven otherwise. Especially when the characters in question are dickbags who never actually change.

What Stolas is doing is...sexual harassment? Is that better??? Stolas is openly engaging in pretty intense kinkplay around his daughter and that is in fact, Bad.

(its also entirety possible Octavia knows that this dynamic is sexually violent and is forced to listen to her dad want to rape a guy, and no dont come telling me thats wrong too, fuck off.)

And as someone who's been through the exact same kind of trauma as Octavia, I can say it definitely fucked me up✨ The only thing I'll give Stolas is that it doesn't seem like he's been doing this around her since she was a small child like I was, but its still bad. That's still inappropriate behavior, that's still something he should know to stop immediately when he sees she's around. Octavia is a depressed, struggling teenager who needs love and support while dealing with this sudden divorce. Stolas spends EVERY episode that is supposed to be about them, either tryna fuck Blitz in front of her, or ignoring her to interact with Blitz and or yell at Stella.

Stolas' problem as a character(not a bad thing, this should be a story/character arc) is that he's deeply entitled, and doesn't see how is actions effect others. Stolas is upset that he was forced into marriage? Wow, isn't Stella such a bitch for doing that too him? No empathy for the woman also being raped and abused through this forced marriage. Stolas is gay and wants to fuck? Let's not think about the class difference, and that he's literally holding Blitz' survival in his hands in exchange for cock. Stolas wants the sexual experiences he was robbed of because of his trauma? Who cares if it destroys his family and makes his daughter feel worthless, he wants to sext. His arc should be about facing the fact that he's abusive, and hurtful. He is hurting Blitz, and Octavia with his sexual behavior. But if he was supposed to be a "good" character with "good intentions", then he should have no problem apologizing and ACTUALLY changing. Stolas doesn't seem upset that they're upset, he's upset he got "caught". He's upset Blitz demands respect and doesn't suck his dick the second he shows any remorse. He's upset that he can't fight Stella and fuck all he wants and instead has to deal with his moody teenager ACTUALLY needing attention and support. My comment about "the entire series" is because the only things we see are the bad parts of their relationship with no development, even if its only a few episodes.

Also since we're playing the virtue game, saying "but he didn't do it on purpose" is actual victim blaming and rapist apologist behavior so like, good job?? Saying rape or sexual abuse isn't as big of a deal just because it was an accident, or unintentional is definitely a take to have. Now, I'd say this is a stupid furry series that doesn't matter in the long run, but you're the one whining about language??

Anyway. Hazbin/Helluva are poorly made shows that annoy me. Pls stop fucking with people about shit like "softening" language and all that "real victims" and all that purity culture savior complex bullshit. Its super weird. Rambling times over, its like 5am im going back to sleep. Also I'm proship, this is media analysis not a moral thing except for the part where I was fucked with over language.

[pokegyns]

my hot take is that on radblur a lot of conversations about how hard separatism is are immedietly labeled as lesbophobic one way or another. usually bc they mention how selfidentified separatist lesbians will tell straight women how easy not dating men or being celibate is. I'm not saying lesbians oppress straight women, nobody ever says that in those conversations, but it's obviously full of shit, celibate lesbians, who aren't doing it for safety reasons, are either uninterested in romance or didn't find their dream girl YET. this is nothing like refusing to date when you have the desire purely out of principle. while there are other aspects of separatism not dating men is obviously the bulk and I'm not surprised when straight women are salty bc this is literally "Luigi wins by doing nothing" of feminism. you wouldn't have dated these men anyway...

and this is on anon bc saying "lesbians do this thing" is considered lesbophobic even if lesbians actually consistently do this thing 😁

not all lesbians etc etc but you get what I mean

i honestly agree. i'm personally a very romance-driven creature, and i know 1000% that if i wasn't a lesbian, if i had either been bisexual and fallen in love with a dude or been straight, i would never have stopped myself from feeling that love and still done feminist activism within that relationship by holding him to a very high standard and maintaining strong feminist friendships, monitoring things in a smart, emotionally intelligent way, and taking all the happiness i can out of life while also being a badass activist.

some of the hardest working female activists had happy marriages to men! and still made a huge impact, at times bigger than some separatists who scoffed at them and wasted their time just talking shit about women all day. separatists do awesome work, work that often is really valuable especially for young girls who feel like they have to dedicate their lives to dating. but if a woman gets a huge amount of happiness from dating, and is willing to be firm in her feminist convictions and handle it in the way that some non-unhinged so-called "femcels" do it, then i'm all for it and i'll be happy to hear her gossip about her bf anytime the same way i get happy hearing about my lesbian friends' gfs. seeing women happy makes me happy, i just want them to have a really good safety net and to know what they're getting into, and i love seeing male-dating women and transmascs exchange tips on how to date bio men as safely as possible and juggle dating a man and being a feminist. saying that separatism is inherently The Most Feminist thing you can do erases work that ONLY women who date men can do; they still hold something that men desire, and they get to make the rules. they also at times end up being the mothers of the next male generation, and that too can be a very powerful position to hold, as controversially as that is to say on doomerist radblr, if only because it can lead to some level of harm reduction on female kids & their female teachers etc. instead of letting only conservative women bear future kids and populate the earth - because we know they will regardless - raising kids in a feminist household can prove to be very valuable. you ofc can't prevent them from being radicalized down the line, but you can still have a meaningful impact.

it's really weird to try to explain to normie leftist-ish women irl who aren't deep on radblr that saying "you can date men and have kids and be an awesome feminist regardless" or "i personally want to see humanity continue, i don't believe in ending it, i want feminist mothers raising the next gen" or even "i believe transfems face unique struggles" can lead to you being mocked, shunned, and get hate anons outta nowhere (though nowhere near the shit i've gotten in tra circles lmao). it's a really wacky culture we have going on in here, and ngl it makes me cringe. it's just so... unproductive.

i 1000% want separatism to be an option. i think it's a great side of radfeminism. but i personally want to tackle issues between male and female people by actually interacting with the male population meaningfully and figure out the issue of gncphobia ppl - including male ppl - face so that the gender boxes can be destroyed... and even that recently got me in trouble, despite me being a lesbian and obvs not dating men. chronically online spaces in general foster really extremist views that aren't helpful at all to any social movement. we can gather more separatists for the movement and let male-partnered feminists do activism their own way. obviously i've received lesbophobia from the other side as well, but i'm honestly sorry for the way that lesbians and het-attracted women generally uninterested in dating treat women who enjoy and benefit from dating emotionally. having a romantic partner is a huge part of my life, and i can never see myself give up on it. it would then be insanely hypocritical of me to expect it of someone else just bc we happen to have a different sexuality. even if a febfem ended up falling for a man and going through with it, that wouldn't be a betrayal either! female happiness is my #1 priority. and no, that isn't me being a hetero bootlicker or male apologist or whatever the fuck separatists have called me before in radfem spaces. i'm just being realistic. is our main goal as feminists to abolish the hetero dating scene? bc if so, we're gonna have next generations full of conservatively raised kids, including male kids, who will then be more likely to be sexist.

thankfully normie feminists irl, who aren't deep in either extremist tra or extremist radfem spaces, would be in total disbelief if you told them about this stuff. and they would just go back to their activism. and i think we should do the same. don't listen to those voices, do what's right for YOU in your heart. just maintain your convictions, don't let male ppl trample all over you, ditch them the very second they say anything antifeminist or shitty, and chase your happiness. your personal life does not need to define your feminist activism. you are still 100% welcome here, in this nuancefem corner of radblr!

-mod pikachu

[straitjacketzz]

HAVE YOU EVER DRAWN THESE GUYS?

Sooooo idek where to begin with this. I'll start by saying that yes I contacted Rebornica/Bones/Voltergeist and bought two of their old FNAF au designs. Those being Scott/Phone Guy and Jeremy. Before I get into anything I feel like I'm obligated to address Volt's past and let it be known that I do not Care about a mentally ill teenager faking other disorders or aggressively yelling at people to stop copying them or whatever other overdramatic thing they did like a decade ago and I don't think buying from them is anywhere near comparable to "supporting problematic people" compared other designers who are like homophobic or whatever the fuck else, and I'm not here to talk about or argue about "the ethics" of me giving Volt money. So jot that down before you even start typing.

I'm here to ask if anyone here has drawn art of Scott/Phone Guy and Jeremy so that i may save it and add it to their toyhouse galleries. You'll see they both currently have like 100 pieces in their galleries right now but I know that's not even scratching the surface. Theres just so much of it It's overwhelming to look for. Theres also issues of these designs being so popular to the point of people making their Own personal redesigns of them. And it starts to muddy up which art belongs to me or not. This isnt toooo much of a big deal with Jeremy as the giant "?" on his face makes him pretty distinct and easily recognizable as The Guy That I Own. But this becomes a problem with Phone Guy specifically. He is... pretty much The design that everyone draws him as regardless of if they intend for it to be Rebornica fanart or not. People use this design in their own AUs, people use this design as their own OC. Theres so so so so so much art of people labeling their art as "heres my phone guy design!" and its just the Rebornica design. And I don't feel comfortable or really have the heart to save anything that people consider to be theirs even if its literally the design that I own x__x It's just a bit hard when you own a design that is considered canon enough to a real video game to the point where people just. Take him. and there's nothing I can do about that. And it's not something that upsets me tbh because I knew this was an issue when I Bought him. Literally all I want to know is what art I can or can't save and upload to their archives lmao. So I figured asking people to send me their art directly would help reduce the chance of me just taking someone else's art that they didn't intend to be My phone guy. Not even counting the fact that a popular FNAF fan game called Dayshift At Freddy's has their own version of phone guy that ALSO had the red rotary phone head but wears a black business suit. So, any art of That One isnt mine.

But anyway yeah! And just know i'm looking for literally anything involving these guys. Digital art, traditional art, gifs, animations, physical/irl art, doodles, comics, fanfic, cosplays you made, even weird misc stuff like ponytown designs for them, literally anything and everything!!

also because i keep getting asked about it, Vincent, shadow vincent, mike, vendetta, mahogany, faith, captain, vex, sheriff, fritz, hocus, and boss have also all been sold and multiple different people own these guys now. and for vincents owner specifically, i will not be giving out their username as they Do Not Want To Be Contacted About It.

im cross-posting this on multiple websites so feel free to reach out anywhere where its most convenient for you. reblogs are appreciated for reach

twitter: straitjacketzz discord: straitjackets toyhouse: straitjackets

[waterparksdrama]

I have no one levelheaded to discuss this stupid band with so I'm directing this to you but. Oh my god the way he constantly complains about having no hits is making me crazy. I get some of the frustration w fbr I guess but I feel like he's focused so hard on that and is scrambling to blame someone for them not being in arenas as if funeral grey radio play would have propelled them into household name superstars. They're not the world's biggest band but he genuinely seems so bitter they're not 21p or fob when they're doing well considering how the music industry is. It honestly puts a weirder taste in my mouth than the favoritism idgaf about that

here's what anon is referring to for context but wow still bitter as he was in 2022 when he was realizing they were going nowhere even with a label that famously fucks people over unless they're marketable enough but hey at least instead of lashing out at his own fans that provide for him he identified at least on source of his failures can't say that about every man's problems. too bad he didn't realize one of the problems was himself so that's another loss for self realization.

(can i also point out how he's clearly trying to play victim in a situation he brought attention to like yes this label is bad but are you trying to get them on your ass by saying the quiet part out loud????)

this pursuit shouldn't be surprising honestly, awsten always talks about wanting to be a pop star and is the worst with labels and fbr is one of the most draining alternative labels out there for trying to make every one of their artists a pop star and dump them if they're not marketable enough.

if you wanted to go deeper, i guess you could also root some of awsten's own obsession over business and metrics affecting the quality and reception to his works back to the people he looks up to/has boosted parx's career and him naturally adopting those habits in his own way. big example right now is finn mckenty aka the punk rock mba. parx got their start posting their music videos on his old music site, stuffyouwillhate.com which was a blog that covered alternative music and awsten has hung out with him irl on a tour stop in the past couple of years. and despite all this music stuff, finn has retired from his youtube channel because he says he actually hates music and only cares about money and essentially does a wiki read on all the bands he covers because he only cares about marketing. yeah sure okay dickbag at least you're being honest now but spewing out slop and blaming the market instead of going against your own interests is stupid lol.

don't even get me started on the maddens and their fucking outputs and crypto bro isms bleeding into everything they do. they had good songs i'll admit but that was like over ten years ago and even since they reunited, they haven't put out a new album since then to focus on stuff like buying altpress and attempting to cater to their decidedly alternative fanbase by shoehorning joel madden's podcasts (usually with mddn artists, most of which have dropped them as management at this point including parx) every fucking week and trying to make web3 stuff a thing on there for a couple years when PEOPLE ONLY FUCKING CARE ABOUT MUSIC AND NOT STUPID ATTEMPTS TO MAKE MONEY OFF OF BLOCKCHAIN DOLL MAKERS

ugh anyways you can already see some of these patterns and habits in awsten the real big difference is he genuinely does love music and making things and producing and being insane with thousands of demos but sometimes the business side gets the best of him thinking it must be transactional that because of the amount of insane work he can put into making even just one mixed and mastered song warrants success and if they don't get it, he will beg and barter his way with fans into getting enough streams for him to get one taco in houston or lash out when someone points out a flaw in that thinking because obviously he can't possibly be part of the reason waterparks isn't getting any bigger but just gaining a small portion of more insane fans who want to tear him to pieces and fuck the wounds all while he goes more insane with them because if he doesn't have the success he wants, he at least wants the consistent attention and affection he can get from fans that don't turn on him.

but yeah, sure funeral grey could've been a pop radio hit but maybe other things that led him to now could've changed too. - iz

[aintgonnatakethis]

Writing Interview Tag!

Big thanks to @moltenwrites for the tag! I've seen this going around and was hoping to be tagged at some point. *rubs hands together* There'll be a readmore at the bottom with the templates for both desktop and mobile.

About me

When did you start writing?

Very young, around 5-6. I remember there was homework where the teacher gave everyone a list of words and asked us to write a sentence with each word. I would turn in a paragraph for each instead 😂 When I was 14 I was writing a lot of Doctor Who fic on FFnet (I can't believe that was 16 years ago 💀) and during the lockdown I started writing again for something to do.

Are there different genres or themes you enjoy reading other than the ones you write?

I don't think so? Sorry, that's a really unsatisfying answer, I know. It's like when you're asked what your favourite book is and you instantly forget every book you've ever read 😂

Is there an author you want to emulate, or are compared to often?

Is this gonna be weird? Probably. Am I gonna fight through the anxiety anyway? Sure, you betcha! @septembriseur is one of the best writers I have ever had the pleasure of reading. Your Telford is second to none. Thank you.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

Just sitting in my bed cradling my laptop. Despite only being 3 and a half years old it's got a whole host of things wrong with it, the most problematic being a loose connection somewhere inside the charging port. To be able to charge I have to sit in a very specific position and stay still, with a metal water bottle braced against the charging cable to keep it pushed in, another cable tied around it with an elastic band and hooked over the opposite side of the laptop. It's... honestly not the best lol. But it's a gaming laptop so getting it fixed would probably be expensive and I just don't have the money.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Am I allowed to say drugs? 😂 I'm prescribed ADHD meds and Pregabalin for anxiety, and they both help me focus enough to get words down on the page. I'd be pretty screwed without them tbh. I had an appointment with a doctor today and am getting an instant release ADHD medication added to my prescription as the extended release wears off by mid-to-late afternoon, so maybe I'll be able to get another daily writing session in when I take that!

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and/or places you write about?

Hn. I want to say not really, but it must have influenced me in some way, right? Kids are sponges and will soak up and mimic the behaviours of the adults around them, and often people will reach adulthood with opinions and ideas that they don't even realise were created by an outside influence.

Are there any reoccurring themes in your writing? If so, do they surprise you?

QUEER! And no, it doesn't surprise me at all. 😂 I love writing about self-discovery, characters figuring out they can grow outside of the box society has built for them.

Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

So, uh, I'm just gonna link y'all here, where I ramble on about David Telford from Stargate Universe for fucking ages. He's in my brain spinning plates as we speak. (He never stops.)

Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?

Well, in real life I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone in the military. While the US military is a special interest of mine because of Stargate, I am very aware that these characters are not realistic when compared to their real life counterparts. Realism in this area is one reason my favourite of the series is Universe, but even then these men aren't... Well, let's just say that - just like in politics - you don't get far in the military if you're a good person.

Which characters would you dislike the most of you met them?

���😬😬 I mean, the fact they're dislikeable is part of the draw, ya know? I think irl-Young would suck absolute balls. 😂

Tell me about the process of coming up with your characters?

Not super applicable as I'm a solely fandom writer, but the parts of the characters we're not given by the show come to me as I write, like puzzle pieces slotting into place. A good back-and-forth conversation is another excellent way to dig deep into them.

Do you notice any reoccurring themes/traits in your characters?

QUEER! But being serious, I've given both Everett Young (SGU) and John Sheppard (SGA) intrusive thoughts...

My writing

What’s your reason for writing?

Escapism. Creativity. The characters are in my head screaming at me.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment from readers that you find particularly motivating?

Ooh, the long back-and-forth conversations! I'm here to talk endlessly about these little fucking blorbos and I will ramble about them to anyone!

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Taking this very seriously: a man. I know that fandom is typically a woman-dominated area and I've met quite a few other trans people through Stargate, but yeah. I know there are cultural differences with what are generally considered gender neutral terms around the world, but I do not want to ever be referred to as a girl or with woman-coded terms. I've had to fight hard to be able to be myself: man, dude, bro, there are a lot of choices.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Hmm... consistency? I set the New Year's resolution to write something every day in 2022. That year I missed 2 and half weeks because I had top surgery and while beforehand I thought 'awesome, I'll have plenty of time to write!' it turned out that recent wounds almost in my armpits makes it quite painful to move my arms... 🤔 In 2023 I wrote every day and so far I've kept that up in 2024. It's not always a lot of words, but it's always something.

What have you been told is your greatest strength as a writer is by others?

Characterisation. I've been told I've got my SGU boys (Telford, Young, and Rush) down to a tee.

How do you feel about your own writing?

There's a cycle where I look back at stuff I've written and compare it to what I'm currently writing and think 'this new stuff isn't as good', but in 3 months the stuff I'm currently writing will be what I think is good so... There are pieces I'm especially proud of, of course. If you'd allow me to plug for a moment, I think a memory, a distant echo is one of the best things I've ever written. Mind the tags though.

If you were the last person on earth, would you still write?

Yeah sure. I write primarily for myself so I don't see any reason why I'd stop. I wouldn't live long though lmao

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or is it a mix of both?

First point of contact has to be with me, always. If something doesn't resonate with me, I can't write it. Forcing things is going to make writing unenjoyable and for me it's one of the most joyous things I do and I want to keep it that way. That said, if there's specific interest in a certain idea I have, that of course does motivate me. Feedback is the nectar of writers!

Tagging: @fortunatetragedy @bagheerita @frostysfrenzy @adriankyte-writes @frostedlemonwriter

@gioiaalbanoart @septembriseur @authorcoledipalo @anonmadsci @the-golden-comet + OPEN

@wolgerrswraith @chaniis-atlantis

About me

When did you start writing?

Are there different genres or themes you enjoy reading other than the ones you write?

Is there an author you want to emulate, or are compared to often?

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and/or places you write about?

Are there any reoccurring themes in your writing? If so, do they surprise you?

Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?

Which characters would you dislike the most of you met them?

Tell me about the process of coming up with your characters?

Do you notice any reoccurring themes/traits in your characters?

How do you picture your characters?

My writing

What’s your reason for writing?

Is there any specific comment or type of comment from readers that you find particularly motivating?

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Have you been told is your greatest strength as a writer is by others?

How do you feel about your own writing?

If you were the last person on earth, would you still write?

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or is it a mix of both?

About meWhen did you start writing?Are there different genres or themes you enjoy reading other than the ones you write?Is there an author you want to emulate, or are compared to often?can you tell me a bit about your writing space? What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and/or places you write about?Are there any reoccurring themes in your writing? If so, do they surprise you?Characters: would you please tell me about your current favorite character? Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?which characters would you dislike the most of you met them?Tell me about the process of coming up with your characters? Do you notice any reoccurring themes/traits in your characters?How do you picture your characters? My writing: what’s your reason for writing?Is there any specific comment or type of comment from readers that you find particularly motivating? How do you want to be thought about by your readers?What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?have you been told is your greatest strength as a writer is by others?How do you feel about your own writing?If you were the last person on earth, would you still write?When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or is it a mix of both?

[castlebyersafterdark]

Is there anything in byler fics that gives you the ick if they have it? Like a specific thing about the characterization that you can't stand, or a certain type of scene happening that makes it hard for you to keep reading even if the fic is objectively well-written 🤔 You know, just your personal opinion lol

Hmmmmm. A few things, and I hate to focus on the negative or critical. But I think there are certain things that apply across the board with spicy stuff or sex scenes in general, but there's also a few points of characterization I don't really jive with for Byler. Under the cut so if someone's not here for critical vibes you can skip this one:

I think I've made it obvious I'm not into heavy dom/sub vibes. With some exceptions - a few fics I've really enjoyed played with the dynamic but they still gotta be Mike and Will, you know? And I so rarely like it. Overall - I don't think it fits them and I don't want to reignite this discussion so send an ask if you want but I'll prob read and ponder and let it sit. ANYWAY. I've dipped out if it sounds super out of character. They just wouldn't have a really really intense dynamic like this. There's a difference between leading in the bedroom and the other being a bit more passive or needy and dom/sub. You can write really rough sex and it not be dom/sub. It's mostly language use. And it's often a case of "He wouldn't fucking say that" with Byler for me. I'm... picky.

Calling someone master/sir is a huge turn off. Icky ick for me. A well placed, rare use of daddy is totally different though. (Not real into an extended scene about it as a d/s dynamic, that leads into secondhand embarrassment for me. But a little teasing implication can be so so good. With limits!!)

I pretty quickly nope out if the dirty talk is too degrading. I don't like that stuff. There's a difference in a cheeky moment of calling each other super needy or a fond little "you're such a slut right now" or "youre so desperate for this, look at you" like that's fine, that can be really hot. But actually degrading dirty talk is a huge turn off for me, irl and in fic, I'll admit that. I'm too sensitive to like it, even fictionally. Just makes me uncomfortable. I also don't like when the fic is supposed to be very early relationship or even their first time ??? and the dirty talk sounds like a bad adult film. What? Takes me out of the read, gotta say bye.

I lose interest when I can tell that they're doing anal with minimal foreplay or prep like to the point where I can't suspend my disbelief based on the action and description up until suddenly they're fucking. I can't take it seriously because the sex becomes nonsense and generic then. This extends to any fandom. Some don't care. But I care!! That's what makes it interesting to read. Otherwise you can swap in any characters and it's just sex scene mad-libs.

I don't typically like topWill in general unless special circumstances/good writing and made clear that they switch.

Oh wait, I think this is the definition of ick. I shrivel up and die at the word ravenette or too many epitaphs. JUST USE THEIR NAMES / PRONOUNS I could be loving a fic and then this happens and I physically feel my spine tense and I have to stop reading in case it's in the fic again. It just really feels embarrassing to me for some reason.

Specific to Byler? I kind of lose focus if it's mentioned even in passing that Will joined anything athletic in school. I'm one of those Will fans who's pretty staunch in the anti-athletic Will Byers agenda. He would never join a sports team. It throws off my groove!!!

These are all my opinions. You can do what you want!! I'm sure I do things and like things that people nope out of. That's why I encourage everyone to just do what you want and post what feels right for you. One man's yuck is another gal's yum is another person's fave is some dude's most hated trope. Mileage may vary and all that. Bless the archive for hosting everything and the ease of fic being at our fingertips. It's so easy to find new stuff and it's also easy to just back out of a fic that didn't jive - someone else might love it!! And that's cool!

[messrsrobyn]

i just saw a tiktok saying the marauders would call the fanon characters slurs bC theY weRE FroM the 70s aND they WoulD NEvEr wear SkiRTs or liSTeN to pOP mUSiC and like first of all sirius black himself told me he's a disco fan, but also... not even going into the "those are just headcanons" territory bc those people love to bring canon, there's a) no evidence of homophobia in the wizarding world, b) there's actually a lot of text evidence that supports the idea of the wizarding world being better at gender equality (which is wild bc jkr is a terf bud i digress...!) and they were teens who were fighting against a fascist system. like, not to go all politics here, but guys, people in the 70s were gay and were fighting fascism and were wearing skirts. all around the globe. it's not a wild jump to think they'd at least be ok with the fact that gay people are real lol (not to say a lot of leftists aren't homophobic, but like, again, this is fiction...they are canonically the light side, they are canonically against bigotry [wild, again, bc jkr] so you come into my house and you tell me they'd hate crime me in real life?) and what amazes me the most is that it's usually the same person that hates jegulus bc "james would never date a fascist" but like, choose your fighter, he's either a man of high morals and fighting for what is right or he's a queerphobe. you can't have both things and use the "fascism" argument in my house!!! actually, people in this fandom should actually just stop using the word fascist, tbh. they think their biggest revolutionary act is to... be mean to people online regarding ships? anyways robyn you're amazing and your patience is certainly better than mine will ever be!!!

I SAW THIS TIKTOK !!!!!

"they'd bully you and me if they were real" well they arent 😭

idk. the creator then said in the comments that people are entitled to their own hcs and it's like,,, then why make a post shitting on them??? just read what you wanna read???

and also yes !! queer people have *always* existed, the 70s were revolutionary for queer rights. i think it was '73 when they removed homosexuality from the APA list of psych disorders, the wholeeee punk scene?! (which always trips me up when people also say "sirius wouldn't have worn skirts/eyeliner! he was punk! like,,, do you know what punk is???)

idc what people hc at all but i hateee when canon/period-typical attitudes are brought into discourses.

"they wouldn't have all been allies or gay, the 70s were very homophobic" sorry that i don't want to read fics about homophobia i guess? sorry that i don't fancy reading about my oppression in fun lil stories??? i get enough of that irl i don't want it in my books. even then, if it is included? i fw it, but why would i want the MAIN CHARACTERS of FICTION that i'm engaging with FOR FUN to be against me????

ALSO !!! agreed. i've said it before and i'll say it over and over again, i HATE the morality based arguments because none of them are real !! i promise that me reading a fic about regulus doesn't mean im a fascist, it means i'm reading a silly little story. or reading mlm instead of wlw doesn't make me misogynistic BECAUSE THEY ARENT. REAL.

especiallyyyy with ships. no. jegulus isn't misogynistic. i don't read jegulus bc i hate women i read it bc it's fun??? bc i want to???

the people making these kinda posts just want to be the best marauders fan and they want to have the best takes and they want everyone to bow down in the comments and say "YES!!! YOU'RE OUR VOICE OF REASON!!! YOU'RE SO SMART AND RIGHT!!!" when really i just want them to shut upppp and let people enjoy what they enjoy.

fandom is so much more fun if you spend your time engaging in things you like instead of hating on the things you dislike (shocking, i know)

[sheshe-cartoonlover]

Heyy! Here I'll uploading my sketches of different cartoons!!

Orrrr...

Different ideas or thoughts of different cartoons :D

Well, things like that...

Almost all about cartoons :))

Also... Can you see my pfp? 'Cause I uploaded It many times, but I can't see It TvT

Sooo... I forgot to upload my description and I prefer to write what I'd write there directly here!

About me:

You can call me... Basically any way you like, SheShe Is okk too :))

Orrr... You call me Rain or something like that... I usually use that! It's my art name...? Kind of...

Okk, let's move on!! I'm 15yo... Too much... Too much... I think I've missed two or three birthdays, because sometimes I wake up thinking I'm 12yo... Yeahh, that's It! Just ignore all the "..."! It's just not really how I talk irl, but I can't really talk how I talk irl, maybe I'll leave a vocal thingy here someday, since I desperately want to talk!! My English Is bad, remember that! I'm a B2, I think?? I don't really know my level, I just know I can read B2/C1 books, well, I usually mess up with few/little and many/much... When writing or speaking. Talking about my pronounce, It Is well, really meh... You'll hear that laterrr!

I wrote this poem just for saying that I'm 15yo! Oh, my!

ANYWAY, yeah, I know I repeat things often, I'm totally self-conscious about that and I apologise! But... I TRY, but I can't not do It!!! It's sooo hard! It's like talking slowly! Who on earth Is able do that?

Oh, let's come back to myself ✨

I'm Italian and I'm REALLY can't take It anymore with all the hotness hereee! It's like 40°C degrees, I hate the Sun! Sorry, Sun, I love your complexion... But not your role, still don't explode, pleeeeeease!

After that little talk to myself with the Sun, you probably stopped reading, I'm not even asking myself why! If you are still reading, I think you must know that you're not even halfway, because I may have been lacking of social interactions these days and when that happens... I talk to myself, so why don't be even crazier! Talk to random people who may encounter my post In this sea of posts (worst metaphor ever, I know) and ask themselves why? Why would she do that?

OHHH, RIGHT!! I'm a girl! Pronouns She/Her, I don't really like to be referred as He/Him, so please remember that, I won't be mad If you don't, but... Don't be offended If I'm having a bad day and I tell you something, like "I'm actually I girl!!", I apologize here, sorryyy 😓😓...

Let's move onto Sexuality, should we? (Yeah, we definitely should, I know, I'll tell you how many words are there In this poem at the end, which Is... Uhm... Pretty far!)...

ANYWAY (I'll using a lot of anyways to reconnect myself to the MAIN conversation here, yeah, I know It's just a conversation with MYself!)... Counting of anyways at the end!!

ANYWAY, I'm In the ARO/ACE Spectrum, I know for sure I'm Apothisexual but... What about romantic orientation? Something In the ARO Spectrum for sure, just not Apothiromantic, since, I'm not romance-repulsed... I mean, I don't like romance on myself, like kisses are a big no and, I'm not perfectly fine with physical touch either... But, I really love others romance!! Literally like every fangirl!! But I don't know If Apothiromantic to that!? So I'll be sticking to Aromantic or [Fictoromantic], even though I prefer Apothiromantic, referring to how I feel about romance with ME...

I'm a cartoon addicted, I don't watch anything If not cartoons!! (No, but I mean for real)... I'm starting to become real-people-repulsed, well not for real, I love my friends, but, I just wish we were, like, animated better? It's difficult to explain, maybe I'm just weird... I literally can't watch shows with real people If not at the theatre, because I feel like repulsed... I get bored In some minutes...

ALSO, things for which I'll probably get bullied at school If I tell anyone, I'm afraid of blood, like a lot... Not mine... But others'... Yes.. Even If It's just the slightest sight of blood... If It's drawn I still have problems, but less, like I can convince myself that It Isn't blood, so my head doesn't start going crazy and almost fainting or... I just look away :D!

TPD doesn't have much blood, luckily and... Only on dark scenes, most of the times, so I say to myself: "It Isn't blood... It's Isn't blood..."

That's like:

Me: "It Isn't blood... It's Isn't blood..."

Viren: "The Son's Blood..." or "The Blood of The Soon...", I'm not sure!

Anyway!!

Me: "IT'S NOT BLOOD! IT'S NOT BLOOD!"

So, well, sometimes I actually believe It... And It's working! When Viren did that disgusting hearth thingy I don't wanna remember, at first, I didn't even think It was blood... Well, then yes, so I started looking away or looking at the background ehe...

This Is starting to feel like a personal diary-

ANYWAY, where were we? I don't even remember...

Oh. Right!!! My lucky number Is 17!!!

I won't tell you ALL my personality typings, just know I'm a ENFP E2w3, ok?

Wanna know something? Ask In the comments below!!

And no, It's NOT the end... Just lemme find a topic, because I really want to talk... You can see how crazy I am by the fact that I literally have a chat with myself on TextingStory free version, 'cuz I have no money ✨✨

Wanna see some of the chat???

I guess not, but I wanna show y'all!!

Nevermind, It's more embarrassing than this whole thing...

I'm working on MLP tarots with myself, anyway!!! I have just 2 cards ready for now, well "ready"... I have just 2 doodles of the concepts... I have 0 - The Fool - Discord and I - The Magician - Trixie, but I have to color them digitally and It's gonna be a pain since... Well, let's say I'm not the best with digital art... But still, I should be able to trace and color, right?? Yeah, I don't think so neither, but we'll see after I have all the 78 cards ready!!!

My idea Is to give each card a different character, according to their story or just something near to their story, since finding 78 DIFFERENT characters was hard... Actually 85, but shhh, just because two cards need 2 characters and one needs 3... Not really the best things ever... Finding the Kings was the worst ehe... At least now I can say my favourite seed Is CUPS!! And that If you get 5 Is bad... Also Death!! Death Is worse... I already decided all the characters yesterday, did I already tell you that?

Anyway...

I know It's bad, I just tried... Ahahahaha

They are the same size anyway, don't let yourself be fooled by the pictures and for the King/Queens and Empress/Emperor you'll see... I'm not a PEDO!!! I don't actually ship them! They are just characters that fitted In, Kings and Queens are not related! Nor are the Empress and the Emperor!!

Fun fact: I have 8 full notebooks I made In 3-4 years... Maybe 2? It feels so weird... I didn't change In these notebooks, just In the last ones, I understood myself better... Since I write as Rain, not as She... Yeah, She Is a real life nickname people give me, so well, SheShe too... I really became more mentally ill In these years... But also a lot more like In this post... In my notebooks, I put all my weirdness and I feel happy about It, I don't know If It's good or not...

I'm also dark, sometimes, thought, honestly... Like I really want my parents to divorce, like I want It, I'd be happy and out there there are people who maybe have PTSD due to their parents divorce... I feel cruel for this...

ANYWAY!!! LET'S TALK OF LIGHTER THINGS!! Even thought, my playlist playing "Different Beast" creeps me out, If the next It's "Monster", I'd be sad for my own cruelness... I'm trying soo hard to be KIND, KIND AND KIND... People say: "Don't be kind or you'll be used!", but what If I like being used??? What If I'm fine with It and I take joy In being used, because I know that my being used does something good to others, while my not being kind, hurts them? Like sometimes I don't understand people, I usually thought that this thing of using was realistic and helpful, but some months ago I realised I wrong I was! Anyway, yeah, people use me or think about using me, even not voluntarily... One time, one of my classmates told me: "You do everything people tell you, you're so usable"... I told him "I know" and I laughed, "It doesn't bother me" - I said.

Anyway my YouTube FYP, because yes

Sorry, It's In Italian 😓😓

Anyway, "No Longer You" Is playing, It's even more even depressing than "Monster"...

Anyway, even If It's the song which scares me the most In all EPIC, "Monster" Is my favourite song In The Musical!!!

Anyway, my current favourite cartoon Is MLP: FIM, well, actually from a lot of years, but... Still love It!!!

I'll finish this ✨ Poem ✨ later

I'M BACK! I'M BACK!!

OK, so I thought you may be asking why In my notebook I have a date of day that still has to come (5/4), I wish It was because I'm from the future, but It's because I'm a dummy... In my notebooks, I always put dates that has to come, It's because they're Rain's notebooks, not She's notebooks and In Rain's world the time works different... It's never the same date as today, It's always the future, but really random... Like sometimes In a day I put 2 or more different dates orr, one day I put the date of 2 days after and some days even a week or a month... This started with a date of months later, but I was busy, this date arrived and well, the dates came nearer ehe...

I'm loving writing this essay, like It's really awesome, It's like a therapy!!! Quite like VAT7K, which helped and Is helping with my loneliness and fear of abandonment... See, I don't know If you want to read my psychological talk... There aren't a lot of who would want to... At least, when I talk about that with my Mom I feel worse than before... But, maybe with you? I talked about It with other friends... Really... Almost everyone, even If I tried to make It seem A LOT less a pain than It really was, because... Because that's what my Mom makes me think... Like, I don't wanna become a drama queen and give the impression that ONLY I suffer, I don't know, my Mom always says that "No one wants to be your (mine) friend, because you're (I'm) always like this"...

Like, I love to talk about psychology and things I like, but when I talk with my Mom or my Grandma, my Dad... I feel so non listened and dumb for even having started that dumb conversation that... I started to not talk about my Interests with my friends or, even when I do It, I feel like even If they reply... They seem Interested... Their smile Is fake and they are just annoyed, bored and uninterested just because of me, so I stop... And change topic...

ANYWAY, I'm making this whole thing seem like It's my Mom fault, but no, she's good!! She doesn't just realise she's not really the mother she wishes to be and I'm not the daughter she wants ehe... But she's a lot of fun!!! I definitely prefer her to those bratty Moms all about pretty dresses and ugly long nails... Augh... (SORRY IF I ACCIDENTALLY INSULTED YOU!! If I don't like long nails or dressing pretty It's just me, not you, you are not a bad personality to me just because of that, you're even better than me, because you actually care about you look, while I don't... Well, I do... But In my ways... Anyway, I love y'all anyway!! Remember, It doesn't matter how you dress, y'all are still beautiful!!! I just don't want a Mom who tells me to dress pretty, while I don't to ♥️)!

Hey!! Wanna know I dress and how I WOULD dress If I could?

I'll show some things from Pinterest!!! You're completely free to not like It, of course, I have not seen anyone with my style so far... Well, maybe my BFF, but I'm... Well, even more colourful and self expressive than her!!

Ohhh, I can't wait to show youuu! I need to find someone with my style!!!

First, this kind of oversized hoodies, all with bunnies images like this one! But, figure them In a different colour, like... Dark or Light Pink/Lavender/Red and with a big pocket right below the bunny!!!

This would be a good example of a T-shirt I'd wear, same colours (Dark or Light Pink/Lavender/Red, some white), always with Bunnies!!!

Always long shirts.

I'd wear this kind of shirts/hoodies with cartoon characters too, but It's too embarrassing ehe...

For the pants, sweatpants or leggins!

Same colours are before, you know Dark or Light Pink/Lavender/Red... Ehe... They are my colours... Yellow too, thought!

-

Now It's summer here, soo, I just wear this kind of shorts, but with the colours you know, but I'll repeat: Dark or Light Pink/Lavender/Red...

And I also wear singlets like these, same colours (Dark or Light Pink/Lavender/Red)!

For the HOT SUN I also always have this...

NO WAYYY, 10 IMAGES LIMIT?? THIS IS INSANE!?

Sorry, guys, I'll delete the MLP picture... 🥲

Yeah, I wear this and I probably look dumb and really funny, but It's really useful (yes, I got the idea from that MLP episode)...

And a fan!!! I always bring my fan!!! Oh, and I always bring my rucksack!!! I have to make you see It!!! I'll delete the leggings image... You know how leggings are made, after all, right?

I have to give you an idea of how my rucksack looks like, sorryyy!!

It's similar to this, but It has longer ears and It's more colourful, It had mixed light blue, lavender and light pink... Mine also has a tail and paws... The base colour In the back, which here Is light pink, In mine Is lavender... Also mine has A LOT of keychain... AHHH!! I HAVE 2 MLP KEYCHAINSS!!! 1 Scootaloo and 1 Twilight, they arrived two weeks ago, then an heart carved In wood, two bracelets from the Camping I go on Holiday since I was born: one from last year (ocean blue), and one I'm using this year (Pinkie's mane pink)... Also 2 Scooby-Doos, which are those things with Intertwined threads, I don't know?? I translated this word, Imma be honest here! Also there I have a Marmot small-sized plushie with a tiny bow, a lavender butterfly 🦋 and my school's keychain!! It should be everything... You don't wanna know what's inside, but sure there are plenty sticks... I'll probably use them to make magic wands once I get home, since I need some!! Did I mention I'm Into witchcraft!!!

All the photos are from Pinterest!!!

I got an Ideaaa!! I'll make my own diary on Wattpad, best therapy ever!!! Maybe I'll make some friends too...!! I can't wait!! Even If as a format... I love Tumblr more... But... YOU CAN PUT JUST 10 IMAGES IN A POST??? WHATT??

Anyway, I can't count the words or the anyways like I promised, 'cause I can't copy the Intere text... TvT

I'm so sorry...

This Is probably the end, but see you In my new Journal on Wattpad, I'll probably write about my life here too and I'll register those promised vocals... :))!!

Anyway, I changed my mind... Tumblr Is A LOT better than Wattpad, so I'm gonna use this both as a Journal and to post drawings... Well, still a Journal and this was my Intro :))