#anyways. i dont want to look at a pen for the next 2-3 business days.

[shroomerr]

**minor spoilers for @mantequillamcwhoremick's fic, Chaos Plan, chapter 16!!

“And tell me if somehow Some of it remained How long would you wait for me?”

Wanted to draw my favorite scene from this fic <3333

[ghostherlig]

boy has it been a bit since ive done one of these but i started this on spring break and got back around to it now that im stuck at Not My House- anyway, enjoy!! <3

this time, johnshi^2 edition 😌 (under the cut bc this, like all of these, got real long 😭)

john is a Stress Baker and will bake into the night if he's stressed out enough (usually cookies to store in the freezer for the rest of the month)

johnny is a Stress Cooker and will cook the most complicated dishes to make himself feel better (ignore his problems)

kenshi mostly cooks for himself and is used to making single-servings of things, so when he makes food it's usually only for him

taka only knows a few recipes, but he has Perfected them. Perfected. They Are Perfect. He makes Takoyaki, Five Flavor Soup, and a few other things that the other three fucking love-

john has a black light tattoo of a smiley face on his ass cheek

johnny has no tattoos

we've all seen kenshi's tattoos, pretty pretty man <3

taka has a few smaller tattoos in fewer seen places, the most common sighted being a small raven on his ankle

johnny owns an industrial freezer and fills it with all sorts of food storage and left-over ingredients that were made in large batches

taka put a false bottom in the industrial freezer to hide his special ingredients for his dishes

johnny teaches physics during summer or winter courses between filming for his movies

kenshi is a big family man and has two older sisters and a younger brother- he has mommy issues 😔

john is also a big family guy, he loves his daughter and his dead wife despite how shitty his childhood was

johnny and taka... arent as big on family-

taka has a bridge piercing that he has a plug in now that he's older, but he still puts in jewelry for at home dates where he doesn't have to wear his sunglasses

john has his ears pierced, but he never wears his jewelry- his collection is a lot of studs, but he has a pair of hoops that he was given by his mom and a pair of jade earrings that taka gave him

johnny had a belly button piercing, but doesnt wear his jewelry anymore 😔

kenshi had several ear piercings but only really wears studs or hoops in his main two lobe piercings

taka wants to get his eyebrow pierced, but just hasnt gone and done it yet

taka uses a hairpin to keep his hair up and despises hair ties despite the fact that johnny always carries them around for him- he has and will continue to grab the pen out of johnny's hands to put his hair up rather than take the offered hair tie.

kenshi usually prefers to navigate without sento at home and in public, and he helps taka get used to using a sight cane and more accessibility devices since taka usually navigates with sento since to him it's easier

when they're all busy working, johnny sets up Very Official Google Meet Meetings and uses his work calendar to hide the fact that he's calling his partners during business hours- the other three do the same thing so they can get at least fifteen minutes together outside of lunch breaks to talk

kenshi NAPS. like, daily naps. he needs his at least fifteen minute lreferably an hour nap per day or else he's a lot more irritable- taka, john, and johnny always look for him around noon, forgetting he's Napping and they usually catch him asleep in his room, on the couch, and often in his office on base-

john will sometimes take midday naps too, usually on weekends, and kenshi will join him on his giant lazy boy recliner and burrow into his side to take a nap

john and johnny are Human Heaters, they never get cold, whereas kenshi and taka Cannot Thermoregulate To Save Their Lives and are constantly cold and usually wear a lot of layers

kenshi and taka also HATE being too hot, both would rather be cold and they despise cali summers since it can get up to the hundreds on really bad days

they all work until they collapse. it's awful. usually johnny and john are better about it, they put work down after 6pm and Dont Look At Work Things until 5am the next day- but taka and kenshi?? they're used to always being on call for things, mundane or not, and that means john and johnny are CONSTANTLY slapping the phones out of their hands when they see an official OIA number

johnny gets bad abt working late when shit gets busy on and off set, esp if he's working on a script or there are all kinds of clerical and scheduling issues and errors- he's had to be dragged away from his desk and/or laptop bc he just wouldnt stop fixing little things- he's pulled all nighters on accident bc he was so focused 😭

john is the most outwardly affectionate- constantly saying it, constant touches, hugs, kisses, little love taps, ass slaps- anyway he can convey his love he's doing it- he's esp bad abt slapping johnny and kenshi's asses since he did it to taka once and taka Stands On Business (slapped his ass so hard the next day john was waddling around the house for thirty minutes)

surprisingly, kenshi is the second most affectionate, though it's more in words and quality time and little gifts- almost daily he leaves all three of them a little note or gift or will cut them fruit- and if he cant he's leaving them or greeting them with a kiss on the cheek or a little peck- he also affirms his love very... aggressively?? john, johnny, and taka all get in moods that scream "would you love me if i was a worm?" and kenshi will always sit there and go "of course i would. i would build you a terrarium and start composting so you would have the best dirt in the world."

johnny is the third most affectionate- it takes him a bit to get comfy just giving hugs or draping himself over someones back, but he does say how much he loves them all the time- constant 'i love you's while he's doing other things, when he comes home, when he leaves, etc. any time he thinks it, he says it

taka is the least affectionate and least affirming, but it's all in his actions. taka will berate john and johnny and kenshi for working themselves sick while he digs in the industrial freezer to make them five flavor soup and some tea- he'll call them stupid or dumb affectionately while pressing a kiss to their temple- he gets nuzzle-y and sometimes just needs to tuck himself over them or hold them to feel normal again- he says 'i love you' the least, but he acts out his 'i love you's the most. he also hilariously sometimes replies to 'i love you' with 'okay.' or '..thanks.' bc he struggles to say it outright, but most oftentimes he hums and presses a little kiss wherever he can- usually the cheek, temple, or if they're already leaving he'll grab their hand and press a kiss to their knuckles

[cubedmango]

live slug reaction (aka naina watches the cm movie after midnight and provides long and dumb and unnecessary commentary) (there be spoilers inside. tread w caution and all that jazz)

THE BOOOKK i wonder if we'll get to see the pages eventually.

also remembered my au i based off it...... i gotta dig it up

the recap aka watch how hard can i cry abt krdcs story despite having it seen it like 50 times already

adachi cringefail compilation in reverse so true

HELP ME WHYARE THEY SITTING LIKE THATSHHDHD. they are just sitting . five feet apart cause theyre not gay

ROKKAKU. I LOVE YOU BUT WHY ..... who was he trying to call anyway .....

their fucking faces i cant do thsidjbfjsjd those shifty ass side glances im losing it theyre so NERVOUS IM YELLING

ADACHI MY BELOVED AUGH HE DIDNT EAT ...... and them both laughing AUGHHH theyre my everythingggGGGG

HAHAHAHAHAHA HE REALLY WAS JEALOUS OF THE CHICKEN NOODLES i thought ppl were kidding but no . oh my god

ALSO.! KUROSAWAS ROOM IN DETAIL FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! taking notes for No reasons

obsessed w how adachi so Obviously checks to see if their feet are touching and kurosawa, Aware of the powers, just does not see it

theyre so cute fucking hell.....

OHHH GIMME GIMME TIME LETS GOOOO

oh the camping trip ough. . .. would pay to be the fish just to watch this sappy ass shit irl

theyre both so dumb theyre literally made for each other i swear

Kurosawa. What Is Wrong With You. Stop Thinking Things Ur Scaring The Little Man

unrelated but omg the shots are sooo pretty i love the waterfall one....

NOT THE 'LOOKING AT THE PERSON WHILE SAYING "ITS BEAUTIFUL"' TROPE NOOOOO IM WEAK

hh.. h h n . h . . hands.. Hands

THEYRE SO CUTE (counter: 2)

OFFICE GANG IS BACKKK i missed them...... ms fujisaki my queen most of all

WHAT IS W THAT GAY ASS STARE ACROSS THE OFFICE U GUYS HELLO

ADACHIS ROOM !!!!!! sorry i like it a lot seeing it again is like seeing an old friend.......

"for us to be together forever" WHAT IF I THREW MYSELF OFF MY BED !!!!!!!!!!!!

"i wished for our happy days to last forever" AND WHAT IF I PARACHUTE JUMPED OFF A PLANE!!!!!!!!!!

also dear god knowing what happens next as they say this is . it Is.

ah . its them. tsugemina.... ha ha one part of the show i didnt rlly miss

my 'kurosawa actually cares a lot abt rokkaku when hes not busy being jealous of him' agenda REAL and CANON

THE BESTIES ok i did miss adachi and tsuges bestie-isms . they are so funny

MINATO? THEY WERE TALKING ABT DRINKS MY DUDE .......

the og soundtrack in the bg ......... Yeah

ADACHI LOOKING AT KUROSAWA LIKE THAT GUYS I CANT DO THIS I CANNOTTTT

THEYRE SO CUTE FUCK OFF (counter: 3)

comedic genius w that cut from adachi hoping for them to be together all to finding out abt the transfer

rokkaku... i am looking at him .....

ADACHI BEING GOOD AT HIS JOB SOOOO TRUE

noooo noooooooo noooOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THE FLASHBACKS NOOOOOOOOOO MY POOR HEART

seeing all the times kurosawa sacrificed what he wants for adachis sake ....... girlie who allowed this im so

Ah. Kurosawas Face..... Bros I Cant Do This....

THE BRIDGE !!!!!!!!!! THE™ BRIDGE™!!!!!!!!!!!!

KUROSAWA STOP FAKING STOP IT IM SHAKING YOU STOP ITTTT

SONS OF BITCHES FUCKING HELL THIS ANGST AAAAJAJJHDHBD. .JDJJE. DYING

KUROSAWAAAAAAAA

ep 1 parallel..... eats it up. definitely giffing this later Yeah

OUGH THE DISTANCE THE SLIDING SHOT THING (???? IDK I DONT KNOW FILM THINGS) THE DISCONNECT BETWEEN THEIR WORDS AND EXPRESSION OUGH OUGHHHH

A. AAA .A A.A..A. THIS IS JUST BEGINNING OF EP12 AGAIN WHY

hey that reminds me of the evil fic idea i was gonna write after watching the movie :)

Also. just noticed i have been talking in caps too much. sorry but 1) its late my brain isnt working 2) i gotta yell man

NEW FRIENDS who is He ........ who are all of they i need to know for fic purposes

THE PEN FUCK OFF NOOOOO . HE LOOKS SO SAD I . . .... . .. .. .HUGS HIM

adachi my talented brilliant genius amazing son . thats it thats the point

adachi my son hey hello. i understand jps toxic work culture but please. dont do that

so many pretty shots of kurosawa but he looks so sad in them..... this is his burden

adachi, alone, walking past couples/ppl in pairs..... poetic cinema

O NAGASAKI APARTMENT i am Perceiving 👁️👄👁️

kurosawa running to get his phone...... someone fly this man to kyushu Right Now

ough kurosawa pov. . always promising w angst as always

HE WAS LYING........ MY GUYS U GOTTA COMMUNICATE

THE BGM IS SOO GOOD BTW HITS SO HARD i think this is a leitmotif but brains too wack rn to recognise which piece its from

FUCK. THE PEN FUCK EVERYTHING AAAAAA WHY DO THEY DO THIS S

Looking. At the Apartment. Tidbits and Things and Blue Theme (very good and perhaps meant to match kurosawas place) but also adachi why is it . like this

47k yen flight bro............ call me unromantic bc i would not unless Absolutely Necessary

aha. foreshadowing.

oh my god okay its happening . gif

adachi jesus okay no stop stoppp go sit down please im begging you

Ah.

yuta 'jumping to grave conclusions' rokkaku strikes again . in his defense he probably didnt know anything but man

AGH. G GHH J N .. J N J JJ KDJDJD . GOOD GOD

A. . OOF . OKAY i fucking forgot abt that dream oh goodness . adachi i am psychoanalysing ur brain now

not remembering phone numbers he just like me fr

WAIT SHIT FUCJ OH . OH

SAYING THIS AGAIN. THE FUCKING RELIEF ON HIS FAAACEEEEEE IM UNWELLLLL

they hugged there btw im declaring this canon rn

fucking Finalllyyyy they Talk

"i nearly lost it" imagining his perspective and. H. . . ... hsj.. kj. ikk.w..d..

"i thought id never see you again" Who ...... why ................ to hurt me ...????? personally??????????

smashing a rock over my head during adachis lines

JESUS. CHRIST. KUROSAWA .......

OH MY GOD OKAY ITS HAPPENING . GIF (REMIX)

HANDS. PASSING AWAY NOW THANK YOU.

guys . what the fuck (<- rendered speechless)

parallel 2 !!!!!!! lets go!!!!

AH I SEE NOW. THE CARESSING. WOW......

ok a complaint here. honestly there wasnt enough use of the magic to even feel like it was missing tbh ? like it got mentioned and plot device-d but we barely heard any actual thoughts so the lack of it felt exaggerated imo

ITS THE SCENE ITS THE EDJDJJ JJHDJE BACK HUG WAUGH

aaaaand we're back to the THEYRE SO CUTE'S (counter: 4)

unrelated but how did the carpet not stain

PULLING MY HAIR OUT. THEIR PROMISE. SCREAMING

omg the besties <3 ignoring the tsugemina tho lol

HEEEEEEE omg he looks adorable..... also wow damn that was a fast time skip for 8 whole months lmao

THE FRIENDSHIPS. ACTUALLY LOVE THEM SO MUCH....

ROKKAKU I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU HES SOOO SWEET

the student becomes the teacher.....

haha . foreshadowing :D

THEY ARE. SO FUCKING CUTE (counter: 5? i think? slowly losing count)

also complaint 2 a bit suddenly but arent the subs a bit off...... not that i know any jp but i feel like they arent exactly right at times

THE ICONIC PYJAMAS RETURN also omg kurosawa avoiding the topic ohhh i wanna squish his cheeks so bad

THE SWEET LIFE DAYDREAM OUTFITS RETURN....... also the fucking choir playing every time kurosawa goes into his. . Adachi Mode. so good

PICTURES TIMEEEE PARALLEL 3

kurosawa meets the in-law (food truck guy)

OH THE MAIL SCENE AAAWWWWWWWW STOPPPPPPPPPP

guys i cannot. the matching everything. chores list . fucks sake. this is a scene from a fic i swear

my 'kurosawa is Not a morning person' agenda. real and canon

kurosawa scrunkly of all fucking time like there is not a more scrunkly chara ive seen in my life i love him so much oh my god

hey have i mentioned how cute they are yet . no? ok here it is. They Are So Cute (counter: 6 or something)

KUROSAWA CARES ROKKAKU IM TELLING YOUUUUU

oh what does that say on urabes laptop

(unrelated. had to pause here bc i felt a tiny earthquake and that scared the fuck out of me oof,, anyways back to the brain rot)

rokkaku and fujisaku u both are So real

ah them again.... looking at the besties Only

Hehehehehehe Adachi Got Plans

closing my eyes sorry i dont care abt these two at all ,,......

oh my god tsuge cursed...... king shit

ADACHI UR BRAINNN MASSIVE HUGE MY GENIUS SON..... HES PLANNING FAR AHEAD ALREADY SOBBSS

"i want to have a life with you forever and for always" this. .this. the. Head in my Hands. how am i supposed to cope with this . Hello

AAGHHGGH HUG !!!!!!!!!!

i heard the legends of the resume. i did not know it was this intricate. kurosawa my guy what the fuck

taking notes tho. hm yes birthday same as manga kurosawa..... hmmmm yes mari Is his sisters name...... hmmm past jobs (?). hope someone translates the whole thing

boy abt to pitch himself as adachis boyfriend like a stationary product. u know what? unique. points for creativity

WAIT THE REASON FOR APPLY HELP ME DNDJEJDJD THIS MAN someone please please translate this oh my god

KUROSAWA LORE!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god mari got lore too yesssss good for her

why did they reduce kazuyas number of kids.... was it an actor casting thing

OH ADACHI FAMILY !!!!!! LOOKING INTENSELY

kurosawa.......... hes so determined....

AWWWWW IM SO HAPPY FOR THEMMM best family i care them 🥺🥺🥺🥺

"welcome to our family" SOBBING SO LOUD

omg the shogi scene....... that indirect asian family brand of acceptance....... love to see it

YEAHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHH THIS IS WHAT I LIKE TO SEE !!!!!!! (refusing to think abt the next part)

chuckles. uh oh.

HEY ITS THAT SCENE . i didnt know it happened here oh

mont blanc again hehe

kurosawa did we not learn. did we not learn from the nagasaki part. my man

PARK!!! PARK™!!!!!! PARK PARK ITS THE OUUHHHHGHHGFFD [passes out]

somehow every speech adachi has given this movie has felt like a goddam punch to the stomach . Pain

losing count of the parallels there are so many Sooo Many

THE BGMMMMMMM ITS THAT ONE SONG

WAIT SURPRISE HUG OH THAT CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD. FUCK THEYRE SO CUTE (counter: i dont know anymore)

preparing my hands to be thrown later

the contrast of their houses is soo interesting me like adachis parents house being small and traditional vs kurosawas parents house being bigger and modern

and smth smth yet adachis family being more accepting of them despite that ....... Looking

saw ppl being like 'why did they bring irl problems into silly gay show' and yes i understand but also 1) this happened in the manga 2) i feel like this is kind of necessary ? not just from a realism perspective but for the storytelling??? like the point is to show adachis growth using hurdles and to show how he gets over them so without a serious scene like this i dont think his chara development would hit as hard

YEAH LIKE THAT. JUST LIKE THAT. HOW BEING W KUROSAWA MADE HIM BRAVER TO TAKE ON CHALLENGES

oh. he said it. well guys it was a good run for my online presence im going to go lock myself in my bathroom for the rest of my life now adios

OK GOOD THEY BROUGHT UP HIS SELF IMAGE AND PERFECTIONISM ISSUES . ITS IMPORTANT TO ME

"but then i met adachi. he accepted me as i am" bro i cannot. ep 7 abt to kill me next time i watch it on god

THEY DONT REGRET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TELL HER

adachis chara dev actually my fav thing on my planet for reallllll its insane how far hes come its incredible to see. and honestly for all that i relate to him it really makes me feel hopeful tbh...

HES CHANGED!!!!!!!!!! just repeating lines atp bc i have nothing to add but i must emphasize. Very Important

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO mama kurosawa i hope u get over ur fears entirely and then u and adachi can bond for the rest of time

"i believe your lives are yours to live" Yeah. Yeahhhhh yeah

OH MY GOODDD OKAY ITS HAPPENING . GIF (THE THIRD) (GONE RIGHT)

the growth from magic-dependent adachi in ep11....... Cries

this scene i saw already and yet. yet. . . Oh............... Wow.........

Hands.

The Bgm. normal about this . very

HANDS.

WHY WOULD THEY MUTE IT EVIL FUCKERS LET HIM SAY I LOVE YOU I NEED TO HEAR IT FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH

HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TEARS IN MY EYES KUROSAWA TAKING THE FALL THSISI ISSO .. ..... GUYS

THEYRE SO HAPPY I CANT I LOVE THEMMM

intro parallel .....................

DORKS. WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE (counter: ???? still not enough times)

OH FUCK OH JESUS OH MU GDIIDJDJD

YES IVE SEEN THIS ALREADY. SEVERAL TIMES. YES IM STILL LOSING IT IMMENSELY . THANKS FOR ASKING!

complaint 3: why is adachis fucking wedding suit not fitting him right. huh

AGH. AGH. AAUAUSHHSJJJVJJKKE [taking emotional damage] HHRAAAHHAGGGFGHH

THE MUSICCCCC THE MUSIIIICCCCCCC THIS ISNT ALLLOWWEDDDDD

. BESTIES IM . ... ... ... OH MY GOD.................. I DONT HAVE WORDS ANYMORE. THATS IT.. ......

THE BOOK NO STOPPPPP DONT DO THIS TO ME IM SO WEAK

(i want that drawing by the way. as a painting. framed on my wall. for art purpose)

where is this location btw i would like to know of anyone has an idea

HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SWINGING HANDS

well. ... .. .. im super normal after this. i swear (biggest lie told)

SHINOOONNNNNNNNN YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

if u guys havent read the lyrics to it yet please. please. they are insane.

its 3 am. no thoughts brain kurodachi. this was so worth the 7 months wait. i am filled with serotonin

i did not say anything coherent or deep at all but maybe ill make a discussion post later if i can get my thoughts in order

but first. when i get my hands on that hd rip i am going to make So many gifs u guys are gonna be sick of me i promise

anyways yeah um . .. ....... krdc will continue to be my personality for the rest of the year please look forward to it <3

ALSO . IF OTHER PPL HAVE ANY THOUGHTS THEY WANNA SHARE W ME PLS FEEL FREE id love to discuss (and/or scream in all AAAAAAs) the movie too :D

ok im going to sleep now good night

[write-orflight]

Like Real People Do. Chapter 4

*Gif not mine*

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Rating: M, eventually will be smut.

Words: 2.3k

Warnings: Sexual themes, talk about sex (not NSFW though), fainting, reader just being thirsty in general. 

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

A.N We’re getting into the main crux of the story now! Message to be added to the taglist. thanks for reading! Much love, Cia

                Chapter 4: Why were you digging?  

Months pass and the early spring turns into hot humid D.C summer. You were never a big fan of the summer, you preferred the colder months despite the bad memories you had associated with them. 

Things changed and some things stayed the exact same. You caught bad guys, which was typical, you actually ended up getting tackled by a drunk Unsub once which results in you being out of the field with a broken arm for four weeks. You found a cat in an alley digging through the trash near your apartment one day when you were walking home. You left food out for him since until one day he decided to come up to you. And now you have a cat you affectionately named Garbage. 

You and Ethan (the guy from the bar) had a “situation-ship”, as Garcia liked to call it for about a month and a half. In your opinion, there was no situation-ship, you guys had mediocre sex until he wanted more and was upset you “worked too much”. So when he “broke up” with you, you weren’t really upset. Your heart wasn’t in it anyway. 

You and Spencer never talked about that night at the bar. In fact, you hardly talked at all. Your Saturday’s together stopped, you had no excuse to see each other now you were finished with school. Now that there was no thesis, there was no thesis for him to help with. 

That didn’t stop Spencer from occupying the space in your head rent-free though. You couldn’t help yourself, he was always in the forefront of your mind and frankly it was starting to affect how you worked. It was a paperwork day and everyone was working silently, merely coexisting and since there was nothing really going on your mind couldn’t help but wander. Spencer was sitting across you reading case files, taking occasional notes in a legal pad next to him. Your eyes instantly went to his hands as he traced it down the page as he often did when he was reading. You studied them for a while, long slender fingers resting on massive palms. You never thought you were someone who’d be attracted to hands but the amount of times you thought about them on particularly lonely nights, specifically the things he could do with them. 

Yea, it was enough to make you a cheirophile. 

You went back to watching him when suddenly one of the aforementioned hands were waving in your face. 

“Y/N” he said. “I’ve been calling your name for 3 minutes.” 

“I’m sorry, Spen.” You flush instantly at being caught. “What did you need?” 

“I asked if you had a red pen I could borrow?” 

“Yea.” You rummaged through your drawer, producing the pen in question. His hand brushes yours as he grabs it, you try very hard not to shiver at the contact but you couldn’t help it. “Keep it.” you say. 

“Hey, are you okay?” He says. “You’ve been extremely out of it lately.”

He was right, you have been out of it lately. Spencer was putting you out of it. You hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that night at the bar and your almost kiss. Since then, it was like he was trying to constantly bring your attention to his mouth, whether it was by his habit of stealing lollies from Garcia’s office or the constant biting and licking of his lips whenever he was deep in thought. They had seared their way into your frontal lobe without permission. 

Working with him had become exceptionally hard and an unwelcome distraction, especially out in the field. Last month, the two of you had gone undercover in a nightclub, an unsub had been murdering young couples who were overly affectionate in public, so you had to spend the night practically wrapped around the man you had an insane crush on, breathing in his scent. You sipped your “cocktail” (it was just cranberry juice) as Spencer kept his arm steady around your waist. Eventually, you hear Emily in the earpiece you were wearing. 

“You’ve gotta do more guys if we’re going to draw him out.” She says. 

“Yea and loosen up. If  you guys look uncomfortable, no ones going to believe you’re a couple.” Morgan adds. 

You and Spencer look at each other for a beat.  

“If I do something that makes you uncomfortable, you’ll tell me right?” He whispers to you. You nod instantly. Suddenly Spencer’s arm is tighter around you, pulling you flush to his body. He dips down attaching his lips to your neck and jawline. You gasp, you had not been expecting that at all, you clutch your drink harder other hand moving to his side. He pulls you in tighter somehow, suddenly you feel his hand move downward until he is palming your ass, you bite your lip to keep your composure but his lips suddenly meet that spot behind your earlobe that he couldn’t have possibly known about prior. A quiet moan unintentionally rips through you and you could’ve sworn you felt his fingers twitch, squeezing your ass slightly. Emily and Morgan were right, the Unsub did approach you guys shortly after that and led you into the alley like he did so many couples before only to be met by your badges and guns. 

Then there was the time a couple of months ago when you and Reid had gone to interview a child psychiatrist and discovered that he was a molester. Spencer had been livid talking to the man, making threats that honestly should've been promises to throw the man in jail. You had never seen Spencer angry or at the very least this angry, and for some reason that turned you on beyond belief. 

You decided to close that can of worms and save it for another day. 

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” You say, smiling tightly at him turning back to your stack of files. You couldn’t be mad at Spencer for your inability to keep it in your pants while you were working. So that’s what you did, worked and tried to avoid Spencer as much as you could. And if that night from the club replayed in your head often while you were alone in your bed that night like many nights before, it was no one’s business but your own. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the morning, you woke to the sound of construction equipment being used next to your apartment. D.C’s already so dense. What more could they be building?   You thought as you got up to make yourself a much needed cup of coffee. 

Now without your schoolwork or  standing date with Spencer, Saturdays always felt too long. You drank your coffee, read a book, watched some TV and when you looked at the time it was still only noon. You sighed heavily before getting up to get changed. The weather was nice, you hoped a jog would at the very least tire you out so you could waste a couple hours napping. 

So off you went, down the path of a nearby park. You had been jogging for about 30 minutes when you see a familiar shape in the distance. As you get closer you notice it’s exactly who you wanted it to be. 

“Hey, Spen!” You say excitedly as you slow to a stop in front of him. He looks up from the book he was reading on the bench. He smiles once he sees you. “Y/N, Hey.” He says. 

“What’re you doing in the park alone?” You ask. 

He lifts up his book. “I just came to read, thought a change of scenery would do me better than sitting around my apartment.” He says 

“Same here. Now that I finished school, it feels like I have too much time in the day. Now it just feels like I’m doing stuff just to keep myself busy, hence the jogging.” You say lifting your leg slightly, pointing out the running shoes you were wearing. You felt his eyes slowly trail up your bare legs, taking in your form slowly and diligently as if he thought he would forget it all the second he blinked. His eyes finally stopped at yours and you released the breath you didn’t know you holding. 

“Well, I’ll let you get back to your book. I’ve still got 2 miles to go.” You say, as you start to jog away, you hear Spencer call out to you. You stop and turn back. “Yea?” you ask. 

“Umm…” He says trailing off before taking a breath. “I’m going to see a movie later, I was hoping maybe you’d wanna come? It’s in french, but I can whisper-translate for you.” He says. 

“Yea sure, I’m doing anything else.” You say, a little too excitedly. Calm down, Y/N, he didn’t even say it was a date. You think to yourself. “What time should I meet you there?” 

“7?” He says. 

“Great! See you at 7, Reid!” You say before jogging away. 

------------------------------------------------------------------

You leave your house around 6:45, after spending about an hour and a half trying to find something to wear. Since it wasn’t a date, or since he didn't say it was one, you opted for something casual. A pair of comfortable jean shorts and your favorite band’s t-shirt. You did light makeup, and after an inspection in the mirror you decided you looked the right amount of cute and comfortable. 

Spencer was waiting outside the theater when you arrived. He was dressed casually too, a blazer over a simple t-shirt, cuffed jeans and converse. He smiles brightly at you as you walk up to join him. 

He insists on paying for the movie and you have to fight him to get him to let you at least pay for snacks but soon you are seated in the almost empty theater together. 

He moves close to you as the movie starts, whispering translations in your ear. At some point halfway through the movie, his arm ends up around your back as he continues to translate, your hand falls instinctively to his thigh. 

The movie ends eventually, and the two of you begin to walk outside together. You know a really good ice cream place that’s not a far walk from the theatre so you suggest going Spencer instantly says yes. You guys walk in silence for a while before you open your mouth to say something. 

“Can I confess something to you?” You ask him. 

He turns and looks at you. “Yea, what is it?” 

“Je parle quatre langues, dont une est le français.” (I speak four languages, one of which is french.) You say. 

He looks at you incredulously. “Pourquoi m'avez-vous laissé traduire le film entier pour vous?” (Why did you let me translate the entire movie for you?) He asks 

“Tu veux dire, pourquoi t'ai-je laissé chuchoter à mon oreille pendant deux heures d'affilée?” (You mean, Why did I let you whisper in my ear for two hours straight?) You smile flirtatiously at him. “Je suis sûr que tu peux comprendre celui-là.” (I'm sure you can figure that one out) You nudge him with your arm. “Come on, I believe you owe me ice cream.” 

----------------------------------------------------

You and Spencer, deciding you don’t want the night to end just yet,  take your ice cream and walk to a park. You lick lazily at the cone you opted for opposed to the cup he got. You guys seem to try and catch up on everything the two of you had done since your last coffee shop visit. He tells you about the books and Doctor’s journals he’s read. You explain to him the entire plot of the latest season of Drag race. You talk and talk and talk, to the point you don’t even realize it’s getting late. 

“It’s late.” he says, “We should head back.” 

And so you do, the two of you walk back to your cars parked near the movie theatre in semi-silence. As the two of you approach your driver door, you turn to look at each other. 

“This was fun, to hang out, I mean.” You say. 

“Yea, it was.” He adds. “I’d like to do it more, if you don’t mind.” 

You shake your head. “No, I’d love that.” you say. 

He takes a step closer to you and you do the same. This was it, he was finally going to kiss you. He looks down at your lips and up to your eyes again as if searching for the approval you give a quick tiny nod. He smiles, moving a hand to the side of your head leaning into you--

Your phone rings. He takes a step back. 

Moment ruined.   

You look at your caller ID. “It’s Hotch.” you say, he nods at you while you answer the phone “Y/L/N” you say. 

“Y/N/N, you need to meet me at the office. Right now.” He says. 

“Why sir? Is there a case?” You ask. 

“No case.” He says. “Gabriel Ferguson’s date has been set.” 

That name. 

You tried everyday to forget that name. 

The name of the man who took your family. 

Your innocence. 

Your way of life. 

Gabriel Ferguson. 

The Beechwood Killer. 

You freeze. Spencer is watching you, concerned now. “W-Why do you need me to come in for that?” You stutter. 

“Because… he’s refusing to tell us where he dumped the first bodies.” Hotch pauses. “Until he speaks to you.” 

You drop your phone. 

The last thing you hear is Spencer calling out to you while everything fades to black.

Taglist: @haylaansmi​     @yoruebeautiful​ @kianagilder-blog​ @l0ve-0f-my-life​ @bihoeofmanyfandoms @dreamer7black​ @baby-banana​ @drreidshands​ @blameitonthenight21​ @slyskyeey​ @liaabsurd​ @di-essere-amato​

[lambroseforlife]

Well, this has been sitting in my drafts for a while now. After sudden renewed inspiration and a bunch of half-done research over a year later, here goes nothing. I felt that the best setup for this would take place between books 2 and 3 so maybe like 2 months after returning from Egypt? For those that are squeamish and dont like stuff about periods then duh, skip reading this.

— — —

'Blast it all!' I huffed as I dropped the stack of boxes on the floor. Pretty sizable ones, by the noticeable thump as they hit the ground.

'Mr Linton.' I heard a curt voice. Looking up, I stared into a pair of cold, familiar eyes.

'Yes, sir?' I grimaced at him. It was much easier than smiling when your ribs were aching and lungs wheezing for air.

'You are two minutes and twenty-three seconds slower than you were yesterday.' Snapping his pocket watch closed, he tucked it back into his waistcoat pocket. His gaze flickered back to me. 'I do not pay you for your tardiness.'

'No, sir.' I beamed. Well, I tried to anyway. 'Just for my delightful company.'

His eyes narrowed ever so slightly. His mouth parted slightly as if to retort but then closed.

I made the mistake of looking into that glacial, intense stare of his and felt trapped. But I didn't want to escape. Not when I felt like I could forget my worries and problems from the rest of the world when it was just him and me. His gaze held mine and I had to suppress the urge to shiver. Not out of fear, though.

A flash of images came to mind. Soft lips melded to mine. Ripped clothing on a hotel bed. Cold desert nights spent in strong, comforting arms.

Snapping out of my daze, I shook my head.

'I...' I cleared my throat and glanced away. 'I better get a move on. Wouldn't want to waste time.'

Without waiting for a reply, I hurried back into my office and closed the door without looking back.

I met my reflection in the glass windows overlooking the tall buildings of London on a typical gloomy morning. If I squinted hard enough, I could see a blush forming on her cheeks.

Get a hold of yourself, Lilly!

This past month I had been polishing my acting skills. By that, I meant pretending that certain things in Egypt had never happened. In general, both my employer and I had smoothly settled into a routine that, well, made it seem that Egypt had never happened once we both returned back to London two months ago. A bit too smoothly, actually.

Although there were times when our gazes would linger on each other for one moment too long just like earlier...

Enough, Lilly! Back to work.

Marching back to my desk, I sat down and stretched. What was wrong with me today? I slept mostly decently last night, save for waking up late with some soreness in my lower back—

Plink.

Opening the metal tube on my desk, I unfolded the paper.

Mr Linton,

It is already thirty-two minutes past nine and I fail to see my daily correspondence on my desk.

Rikkard Ambrose

So we were back to communicating through notes now, were we? Flipping it over, I picked up the fountain pen on my desk and began to write.

Dear Mr Ambrose,

On it immediately, sir.

Yours, Lilly Linton

I folded the note and placed it back into the tube, pulling the lever. I opened one of the desk drawers and found the pile of letters Mr Stone had left for me to sort through. Pulling them out, I began to go through them when I heard a gurgling noise. I looked around, confused. Then I heard it again.

What was that noise? It sounded like it was coming from someone's— oh.

As if in protest, my stomach growled even louder.

Right. Another thing I forgot to do this morning after waking up late.

Well, times like these called for extra measures. Opening another desk drawer, I found out my treasured stash of chocolate and grabbed a bar.

Not exactly the healthiest option for breakfast but so what? It was chocolate!

Unwrapping the bar, I began to sort through the stack of letters for Mr Ambrose's correspondence for the day. I managed to finish going through it in under five minutes too— both the stack of letters and the bar of chocolate.

No sooner after sitting back down at my desk once I passed the letters through the letter slot at Mr Ambrose's door, I heard another plink.

I removed the letter from the tube and picked it up, beginning to read.

Mr Linton,

Why are there brown fingerprints on my correspondence?

Rikkard Ambrose

I frowned. What brown fingerprints was he referring to? Setting the note down on the table, I was about to reach for the charity letters in the waste paper basket when I noticed something odd about the note.

Upon further inspection, there were brown fingerprints on there too! But how did it get there? Where was it coming from?

Wait...

Slowly, I looked at my fingers and then at the wrapper of the finished chocolate bar. Then my fingers. Then the wrapper again.

Oops.

Wiping my fingers and the pen on my trousers, I thought about how to explain my slight predicament.

Dear Mr Ambrose,

There was a small accident while sorting your correspondence. I fixed it immediately so it shall not happen again.

Yours, Lilly Linton

That should suffice. I sent the letter through the tube and took out the small appointment book with all of Mr Ambrose's scheduled meetings. I had barely opened it to the current week when I heard another plink.

Mr Linton,

What do you mean by 'small accident'?

Rikkard Ambrose

Darn! I thought I had gotten away with it. I picked up the pen to write again.

Dear Mr Ambrose,

Just a small, teensy-weensy, tiny incident that is barely of any consequence. Really, no need to worry yourself. I've taken care of it.

Yours, Lilly Linton

Not even ten seconds had passed until the next plink.

Mr Linton,

Do not test my patience. Tell me what happened.

Rikkard Ambrose

Blast! He wasn't going to let this go, was he? Chewing my lip, I picked up the pen with sweaty palms. What to write this time?

Dear Mr Ambrose,

The aforementioned incident was minor, completely inconsequential. Not even a small accident, really. Just a small inconvenience involving chocolate.

Yours, Lilly Linton

With bated breath and my heart ready to jump out of my chest, I pulled the lever.

Perhaps he would move on from it?

Ha, as if! This was Mr Ambrose I was talking about here. Getting the Queen to dance on the rooftops of Buckingham Palace in her undergarments would have been more likely to happen.

As if on cue, icy silence radiated from behind the door to his office. The kind of silence that preceded judgment from kings before they gave the order for executions.

Now to any person, silence was just silence. But not with Mr Ambrose. As his secretary, I knew that there were at least ten types of silences after a few months of being in his employ.

Seconds stretched into minutes until finally...

Plink!

Holding my breath, I unfolded the letter.

Mr Linton,

I do not pay you to eat on the job as my secretary. There is a designated 30 minute break appointed in the afternoon for that. See to it that there are no more 'small inconveniences' to distract you. Knowledge is power is time is money.

Rikkard Ambrose

I suppose that could have gone worse than expected. Considering the incident at his factory two weeks ago. Also the other business deal from the other day. And...

Well, you get the picture.

Sighing, I set the note aside and decided to start on the day's tasks. Hopefully today would just be another day at work that would pass by quickly.

It wasn't until later that I realized just how wrong I was.

— — —

A few hours later, I was in the process of organising new files to be added to Mr Ambrose's already endless file collection when it happened.

I felt a building pressure in my lower abdomen, on the verge of becoming an entirely uncomfortable pressure in my lower regions.

Wonderful. Another thing that I had forgotten to do before leaving the house this morning.

Getting up slowly and carefully, I headed towards Mr Ambrose's door and knocked.

'Enter.' Came the composed, cool voice that I knew by heart at this point.

Shuffling into the room, I saw that Mr Ambrose surrounded by a pile of papers on his desk as usual, reading an opened file in front of him.

'Ehem.' I cleared my throat.

'What is it?' He didn't look up from the file.

I contemplated how to tell him that I needed to pee in the most delicate manner that I could currently manage. I decided to settle with:

'I need to use the powder room.'

He glanced up at me, then quickly back to his papers.

'Go in.' He jerked his head towards the direction of the small door that led to his personal bathroom.

Without expelling the contents of my bladder, I walked as fast I could to the door and shut it behind me. Dropping my trousers, I sat on the toilet to relieve myself.

This was one of those times when wearing trousers was more convenient than wearing a dress and hoop skirt. Once I finished my business, I was ready to pull up my trousers and get back to work.

That's when it happened.

That's when I saw it.

A small, reddish stain on the nether region of my brown trousers.

Oh no.

No.

No, no, no, nononono !

No! No! No!

Why now?

Well, that nasty inner voice in the back of my mind retorted, that explains everything so far today.

My sore back, waking up late, feeling sluggish and extra emotional, craving for chocolate. It all made sense now but...

I frantically tried to think back to when was the last time this happened. Let's see...sometime shortly after I had returned back to London after the Egypt trip. But why wasn't this an issue then?

Because, my inner voice piped up again, you were home on a Sunday afternoon when it started.

Blast! What was I going to do now?

I went over my options.

Option 1: Try to endure the rest of the day and hope that no one would notice. I could even tie my tailcoat around my waist. It would definitely look odd and probably rouse suspicion but maybe it could work?

Yeah, right. If you bleed through your tailcoat too, then you're done for. Say goodbye to your job.

Couldn't that inner voice of mine shut up already! Why did it have to be so rational?

Option 2: Resign my job before I would be found out.

Definitely not happening. Not when I had been through so much for this job including leaving the country twice and risking my life multiple times. There was no way that I, Lilly Linton, ifrit extraordinaire, would let something like this get in the way of my independence.

Which left option 3: Ask Mr Ambrose if I could take my lunch break early to go home and change.

Just the idea made me want to disappear on the spot. It was embarrassing enough that this had to happen but having to involve my boss too? This made the situation more dreadful a hundred times over. But...

What other choice did I have? Unfortunately, this was the best option compared to the other two.

Closing my eyes, I couldn't help but to let out a loud sigh.

Remember what I said earlier about trousers being convenient? I take it all back. This was definitely one of those times when wearing trousers was definitely not convenient! If I was wearing a dress, then there may have been a chance that I could have held on a bit until lunch break. But there was no choice, I needed to go home immediately to change my trousers and retrieve that.

However, the bigger issue was how to convince Mr Ambrose to let me take my lunch break earlier. What to tell him?

Mr Ambrose, I'm feeling a bit ill and would like to take a break.

Great. That would give him the grounds to dismiss me for the day, possibly even sack me, especially after what happened earlier with the chocolate.

My younger sister, Ella, has food poisoning and I need to check on her.

Nope. Mr Ambrose would be moved to sympathy as much as a mountain could budge.

My aunt has arranged a meeting with a prospective suitor for me this afternoon.

Not convincing in the slightest considering that Mr Ambrose knew that I would do anything to avoid the topic of marriage. Especially when it involved me.

Drat! What could I say?

Unbidden, another thought popped into my head.

Why not just tell him the truth?

What? As if that would ever work!

Not to mention, a woman's....time was a taboo topic. Despite my mother's early death and limited knowledge provided by my aunt, even I knew that was something proper ladies did not discuss with gentlemen in society. It was highly inappropriate.

But then again, since when were you a proper lady?

Good point. It's not like Mr Ambrose was a gentleman either by any means.

Still, the main issue was that would Mr Ambrose be understanding even if I told him the truth?

I doubted that someone like him even knew something like that about females anyway, given that he most likely came out of a giant boulder. It was impossible to imagine him with a mother, let alone two human parents.

Enough stalling, Lilly! It's now or never.

Five minutes later, I stepped out of the bathroom after working up enough courage. Mr Ambrose was still flipping through the same file, not having moved from his position.

Standing in front of his desk, I cleared my throat. No response.

I tried to get his attention again. 'Mr Ambrose?'

'What is it, Mr Linton?' His eyes never left the file.

'Er, I was wondering if...I could take my lunch break now?'

Damn! Why did my voice sound so weak?

His hand paused, right in the middle of flipping a page. Slowly, ever so slowly, he raised his eyes to meet mine.

I swallowed.

'What did you say?' His voice was deceptively calm.

'Could I take my lunch break now?'

If his stare was cold before, it was frosty now.

'Mr Linton, did I or did I not mention earlier that there is a designated thirty minute break for all employees?'

'Um, you did, sir.' I looked down at the stone floor. For some reason, it was particularly interesting.

'So why are you asking me this?' He reached to grab another file from one of the piles on his table.

'Well,' I bit my lip. 'I had another accident.'

Silence.

I risked a glance upwards. He seemed frozen, his hand still holding onto the file, save for the narrowing of his eyes by 0.000013 of a millimetre.

'By any chance,' he finally ground out, 'is this "accident" of yours similar to what happened earlier?'

'No.'

'No?'

'No.' I repeated, my throat dry. Why was this so hard? 'A worse accident. Much, much worse.'

He cocked his head. 'How so?'

'It involves my identity.'

Based on his expression, he knew what I was referring to. While I was his personal secretary during working hours, it was as Mr Victor Linton, not as my true self, Miss Lillian Linton.

A female.

'Mr Linton.' His voice was soft. Too soft. Like the momentary stillness before a hurricane. 'What. Did. You. Do?'

'I- I didn't do anything!' Why the heck was I stuttering? 'Well, not yet anyway.'

'Yet?'

It was both impressive and a bit unnerving how ominous he made just one word sound. I felt like a mouse that had been cornered by a tiger.

'What is going on?' He demanded, eyes flashing. 'Tell me!'

I bit my lip and his eyes zeroed in on the action, following my every movement.

'I'm not sure how to bring this up since you haven't been out in society much but have you heard about a woman's time?'

'A woman's time for what?'

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. This really wasn't going to be easy, was it? 'There comes a time when a girl matures into a woman. Her body undergoes some physical changes and afterwards, every once in a while, she...'

Plop.

My voice trailed off when his hand let go of the file he was holding onto and it dropped back onto the table.

His mouth was now slightly ajar and his eyes were cast downwards, scanning the contents of his desk.

'Oh.' His voice didn't sound as collected as before.

'Yes.'

So he did know about it after all. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised as I was, given what he repeated about time and knowledge and all that. But still, considering this was Mr Ambrose...

'What do you expect me to do about that?'

'Huh?'

'Don't you females usually do something to deal with it?'

'Well...yes, but—'

'So do what you need to do. Stop wasting my time already.'

'That's the issue, sir.' I snapped at him, too annoyed to focus on the fact that he had acknowledged my gender. 'I need to go home and change. That's why I asked if I could take my lunch break now.'

'Why do you need to go home? Can't you do it here?'

I nearly choked. That hardheaded, miserly head of his was really made of stone!

'I don't have any extra clothes here and what I use to take care of it is also at home too.'

He just stared at me.

I shrugged. 'I mean, I suppose I can wait until later to take my break. You'll have to risk my true identity being exposed once your workers see me bleeding all over the—'

'Mr Linton!'

Oh my. Was it just me or were his ears now tinged a bit red?

Pressing my palms into the table, I leaned forward. 'Or you could let me go home now and get this taken care of so I can get back to work sooner.'

He leaned forward as well, sea-coloured eyes clashing with hazel ones.

'Indeed, Mr Linton?' I felt his breath on my lips.

I arched an eyebrow. 'Indeed, Mr Ambrose.'

'Very well then.' He straightened back into his chair and picked up the file he dropped.

'W-What?' I blinked.

'You may take your lunch break now.'

'Really?' I stared at him in shock.

I couldn't believe it had actually worked! This was Mr Ambrose we were talking about here. I had half expected him to tell me something ridiculous along the lines of controlling my body's functions and to stop bleeding. It wouldn't have been the first time he had said something like that anyway.

'I don't like to repeat myself. Go now.'

My face broke out into a broad smile. 'Yes, sir!'

'Also, see to it that this doesn't happen again.' His stare was disapproving.

'You mean taking an early lunch break? Or are you referring to my other problem? Because I don't know how to break this to you but—'

'The clock is ticking, Mr Linton.'

'Yes, sir!' I gave a salute and left his office.

— — —

It's surprising really, what one can accomplish during a time of emergency. If you were to ask me how I was able to go back home, change my clothes and even eat an early lunch on my way back to Empire house all within the span of thirty minutes, I would tell you that I had no idea it was at all possible until today.

Maybe it was possibly due to luck? That certainly seemed to play a factor as the only people home were my uncle, locked up in his study as usual, and Leadfield, cleaning out the attic. It was a good thing too, since I hadn't bothered to change back into a dress in the garden shed before climbing through my bedroom window.

I was able to obtain some linen rags designated for times like these (part of the wonderful experience of being a female) and changed into another pair of my uncle's old trousers. I even packed extra rags in my briefcase, something I probably should have done in the first place. But eh, better late than never, I suppose.

Since I had five minutes to spare on my return back to Empire House, I was able to buy a sandwich and eat it on the way. I was starting to understand the concept of efficiency, especially after working for Mr Ambrose. Huh, it might not actually be all that bad.

Thankfully, the rest of work passed by uneventfully. Once I returned to my office, I saw that Mr Ambrose had shut the door to his own once again. He still could tell that I had returned though, for I had just sat down at my desk when I was pelted with more tasks to complete for the rest of the day, including retrieving more files. But I was determined to work even harder to make up for this morning.

By the time I took a look at my pocket watch, it was already dark outside. Eight o'clock on the dot.

Packing up my things, I was ready to leave when the door to Mr Ambrose's office opened, revealing his tall, dark figure in the doorway.

'Would you step into my office for a moment, Mr Linton?'

'Why?'

'I have something I wish to discuss with you.'

'You can discuss it here.'

'I can, But I would prefer not to.'

'I would prefer to.'

'You do not get to decide, Mr Linton. My office, now. Close the door behind you.'

I reluctantly followed him, shutting the door behind me. He sat back down in his chair, his posture ramrod straight with crossed arms.

'In regards to the matter earlier today...' He began in a low voice.

'Yes?' Did I take more than thirty minutes to return? Were there more mistakes I had made after my break?

'Are you sure that you're fit to work?'

'What?'

'Are you fit to work with your current state?'

Was he being serious right now? Judging by the expression on his face (or lack thereof), I had to say that he was.

'Why wouldn't I be?'

'Given what has transpired earlier today, I have reason to believe so, Mr Linton.'

A spark of anger flared within me. 'Mr Ambrose, besides the two incidents that happened before my break, did I give you any other reason to believe otherwise?'

'Well, no.' He had the nerve to sound reluctant!

'Then yes, I am plenty fit to work.' I glared at him. 'Mr Ambrose, just because of I'm losing a bit of blood does not mean that I am incapacitated.'

He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

'Furthermore, I am not weak. Women are not weak. We have been dealing with this since the beginning of time and haven't let it get in the way of doing what needs to be done.'

'I never said that you were weak, Mr Linton.'

'Then what are you trying to say?'

'I...' Something flashed in his eyes so quickly before I completely identify it. Concern?

'Nothing, Mr Linton.' That granite mask of his was back in place. 'You are dismissed for the day.'

I turned to leave but then paused.

'Thank you.'

He looked up from the papers in front of him.

'For what?'

'For letting me take my break early today.'

For being more understanding than I expected you to be.

Our eyes met for a fathomless moment. He nodded once.

You're welcome.

I gave him a small smile. Spinning on my heel, I left his office, feeling his eyes trail behind my retreating figure the entire time.

I guess that today may not have been a completely bad day after all.

— — —

Wow, that was a pretty long read. Kudos if you made it to the end. This was just my take on periods if they ever came up in the SnS world. I’m kinda sad that it never did considering this was a series about women’s rights and numerous other “taboo” topics in the Victorian era have been brought up in the books such as bathroom habits, “amorous congress” and “protection” for said congress. Oh well. I was able to articles to find 2 articles that I used for reference to write this. I’ll share them in a reblog since my post wont show in the tags due to the links. There’s not much known about periods in the Victorian Era since it was a “taboo” subject but there are some tidbits here and there that I was able to base this off of.

[wakandascrystal]

Ｆｏｏｌｉｓｈ

T'Challa x Black Reader

Summary: T'Challa has been neglecting you for the longest time. You find out why?

A/N - Hi 🌸. Did you miss me?  Cause I missed you. Anyway. Work,school and my personal life have made it their personal mission to stress me out so I don’t enjoy my one true love …BlackPanther FanFiction. But my cousin lent me her laptop and I was able to put this fic together before she needed it back. sorry for any mistakes Enjoy

“Did you see how Yolanda was looking at Tepho…they are definitely seeing each other." 

You waited for a response from T'Challa. 

Nothing, but never the less you carried on.

"I’m glad they spoke with each other about their feelings. Love is so exciting don’t you think?”

He said nothing. 

He probably wanted to be alone and you were there, gossiping away about the servants who everyone knew where hooking up.

You sat up from the leather seats in his office to give him space. Even the stretching of the leather against your body made you cringe. You didn’t want to disturb him. He looked like he needed silence. His eyes were focused on the notes he was writing. The pen gliding on the page. You quickly said farewell and left him alone. He didn’t respond.

As soon as you left, closing the door behind you. Your heart sunk. You didn’t know why he was giving you the cold shoulder. Ever since you came back from the women’s conference in Brazil. He has been less talkative and less himself. N'Jadaka noticed as well. 

He thought he had food poisoning cause there is was no way he could be genuinely mad at you. You didn’t do anything. You know you didn’t. But you were too afraid to ask. So you just carried on being a good wife. 

It was 6:30 PM and everyone was waiting on the king so they could start eating dinner. The Queen, N'Jadaka, his wife Aaliyah,  Okoye ,W'Kabi and Bucky. Shuri was too busy in her lab to come join.

“Man I’m hungry are you going to call his ass down here or what?“

You really didn’t want to. You felt like a nursence to him all ready. You didn’t want to face him. Well not alone anyway.

“…Maybe we can start …without him.“  Aaliyah rolled her eyes.

“Sweetheart. We can’t eat without him if he is in the palace. He is the king. He needs to start the meal.“ She had pleading eyes since you had kept her up to date with what was happening in your relationship with Thcalla and she with hers with N'Jadaka.

“Okay I will request his presence.“ The lack of excitement in your voice didn’t sit well with the Queen.

“Stay put my dear I will go speak with my son.“ It felt like a wave of relief washed over you. You couldn’t believe how happy you were to be saved from talking to your own husband. You hated the feeling but you were glad to see Romanda’s white crystal train from her dress follow her out the door. 

“So how long is he going to act like a child.“  Aaliyah whispered into your ear.

“His behavior worries me more then anything. I’m trying to not take it personally.“

“Your husband has not touch, kissed, fucked or barely spoken to you in 2 weeks and your choosing to not take it personally.“

You repeat her whole question in your mind, breaking it up in halves so you could understand her sarcasm.

“Yes…Yes i am…. shhh.. there he is…“ You shushed her like a schoolgirl when they entered. T’challa looked tired and used. The difference between the Queen and her son was clear. Her head was up when she walked unlike Tchalla, his head was low and he seemed uncertain with him movements. You hated how he carried himself. One of the reason you fall for him was his confidence, you had to speak to him. For once since coming back you had to talk about his behavior.

After a long and an uneventful meal everyone left for their rooms. Aaliyah and N'Jadaka left hand in hand, Queen Romanda , Okoye, Bucky and W'Kabi left the reigning King and Queen in the Royal dining hall. The silence was unbearable and you think you only felt it. 

“Tchalla“ you called out to him and he didn’t respond.

“I’m leaving in 3 days“ He said it in a low voice you barely heard him.

“3 days. Where are you going?“ 

“…Nigeria. For a short while. It will be a days trip.“ He said nothing more. He pushed himself out of the golden table and walked away. Normally he would pull your chair out for you and walk with your to your room but not anymore. The 8 guards who surrounded the hall stood still, backs up against wall as you stared at nothing wondering where your marriage went wrong. 1 hour past and you were still in the same position, that was more than enough time for you to collect yourself. 

You started your nightly routine. A hot shower, hair care, skin care, a glass of water, 2 chapters of your favorite book then some needed sleep. It went smoothly since T'challa wasn’t there. To your knowledge he was in his office doing lord knows what. You wanted to be asleep before he come back so you would face him. later you learnt you had rushed yourself over nothing. He didn’t come back until later into the night. Your eyes had been sealed shut around 10 and he joined you at 2 o'clock in the morning. To make matters worse he woke up and left before you woke up so you didn’t even get to see him.

A week later you and Aaliyah had to meet up with the Women’s league of Wakanda, just North of the capital. You said nothing to her the whole trip there. You couldn’t even enjoy the beautiful mountainous landscape and waterfalls that laid under the aircraft. You were to busy trying to figure out what is making T'challa neglect you.

Somehow you make it through the event, you remember nothing and no one. Aaliyah does you the biggest favor and doesn’t speak about it. Not even once. you wished you could reward her for that.

When the the aircraft lands back home at the palace. No one is waiting for you Just N'Jadaka waiting to walk his lovely wife back inside. Tears threatening to fall. You could feel them. They pulled your energy down and as well as your soul. You wounded the halls of the palace not sure where to go. Your biggest fear at that moment was not death or anything else but it was running into your husband. You hated how he made you feel. overnight he went from being the most loving and accommodating husband to an unfriendly man. The worst part is you didn’t know why. You wish he would tell you because you would fix it.

You would. You would do anything to go back to how things were.

You run into Queen Ramonda in the east wing halls. She had 2 workers behind her. They seemed to be moving furniture.

“Oh Y/N the person i wanted to see. Please meet me in the garden ,I will join you shortly.“ You gave her a weak smile and started making your way to the Queens garden. When you get there you meet another 2 female workers preparing tea and scones. they left when you arrive. The enclosed garden is filled with roses and sunflowers. Your favorite, lilies and other wildflowers as well. You feel the Queen’s hand on you shoulder moments later.

“You seem deep in thought my dear.” You offer her that weak smile again. “It’s been a long week” You confess. “Have some tea.” She poured you a cup and you both took sips at the same time.

“You should talk to him.“ You almost spat your tea out. Romanda was the last person you wanted to know you and Tchalla were going through something.

“How did you know?“ She took another sip

“I think you forget I was married to an Udaku Man-“ She smirks “-and i’m not an idiot. Something is going on and you need to fix it before it becomes serious.”

“Iv tried so many times he just shuts me out. You know he barely comes home at night. He stays in that study of his all the time. I believe he stays there to avoid me.“ You couldn’t look at her. She was so beautiful and graceful that you felt so foolish sharing your problems.

“I really love your son..but I dont think he loves me anymore. I’m afraid to say“ You felt her hand on your knee. You could see she really cared about you and your worries. She was your mother. She cared like one and loved like one.

“My son is a lot of things Y/N but he is not an stupid…..I’m sure he wouldn’t do anything that would jeopardize your relationship. I will never forget how he cried when he first saw you in your wedding dress. Hmm?“ She pulled a small cloth out and wiped your tears. “…I know for a fact that golden dress wasn’t the reason he got emotional.“ 

“Go talk to him. Go now my child.“ She helped you up and walked you to the entrance of his office from her garden. You felt empowered, she made you feel like that.

You walked in alone without knocking. Tchalla was on the brown leather couch on the other side of the office. His back faced you as you marched to him. He looked busy and you didn’t. For once you didn’t mind disrupting his focus on something. You didn’t feel guilty or out of line, you were ready to giving him the reality of your relationship. 

“T'challa Udaku !“ He didn’t stop paging through the loose papers on his wooden table.

“Udaku!” you raised your voice this time but getting nothing from the King.

“I didn’t take your last name just so you would ignore me like this.“ 

“Is there something you need from me Y/N, I am busy at the moment.“

The rage was red and hot. It bubbled from the bottom of stomach upwards. You felt hot and angry. You were ready to fight him but you knew you wouldn’t win. He was the black panther. He could hear you heart rate beat faster as you clenched and unclenched you fists. In a quicky movement you pulled all the papers he was working with and the scattered them in one movement away from him on to the floor. He was shocked. This was not your typical behaviour. You were calm and polite never savage and rude but he was making you like this. What exactly did he expect.

He wanted to see what you were going to do next, you didn’t want him to move away from you like he was starting to do so you straddled him. Throwing you thigh over his lap. 

“Why have you been ignoring me?!“ You looked into his eyes. He tried to push you off . You didn’t want to fail this time. So many times you tried to talk to him and get to the bottom of this mess and you failed but right was not going to be a repeat of that.

“Y/N get off me.“ He warned 

“Im sorry but I have to reject that request.“

“It was not a requested more a command.“ His voice was deep and he sounded annoyed.

“The only way. I’m going to getting off your lap is if Okoye,your personal guard takes me off you, which is impossible because she is arranging everything for you visit to Nigeria…or just throw me off yourself.“ He licked his lips as he tolerated your mischief.

“I guess you leave me no choice.“ His hands snake to your waist and you felt him began to lift you. You didn’t want to move. you wanted to stay on him. You started to panic, fearing going back to what ever your marriage was at this point. 

In a bold move you planted your lips on his. The cherry gloss you had acted as lubricant so you could make the kiss deeper. You were certain he was going to reject you. You didn’t know how you would have dealt with that type of rejection from your own husband. You had dug your own grave but somehow, some way he didn’t push you away but pulled you closer.

It was as if he missed your touch. Like he wanted the moment to last. This confused you. The need he was showing confused you. The way his large hands held on to your hips and back confused you. why would he act like you don’t exist if his body still wanted you, if it still responded to you. The sounds of sucking and lips smacking made you feel good. The sound of progress… that until he pulled you abruptly away. Eyes dark with his graze. He looked angry

“Get off me.“ That was his 100% dont messy with right voice. You knew it. very well. He had used it with Erik a while back when he tried to steal the country and with some of the Avengers.

“I’m tired of your shit. It’s been a mouth and we haven’t had a simple conversation. Your acting like a baby …your scaring me…your embarrassing me. Every single person in this palace thinks i’ve done something to anger you, when i’ve done nothing. Your punishing me for nothing! I have DONE NOTHING!“ 

You got of his lap before you started yelling. You dont ever remember raising your voice this much at Tchalla before. Never. 

He just sat there and took it. Waiting for you to finish.

“Nothing? You did nothing?“ He asked you in a low voice, laced with sarcasm.

You didn’t answer. Just staring at him.

“….What was his name?“ 

“Who?“ you answered impolitely

“Y/N ….I was minding my own business, getting some important things done-“ You cut him off “Is our….dying relationship not important?“

“That is not what I meant.“

“Then what did you mean …my King?“

“..Maybe if you let me finish you would know?”

You stepped closer to him when he stood up. You needed to show him you weren’t afraid.  Even though he towered of you. You needed to face him head on. 

“I asked you a question. What was his name?“ 

“I’m going to the king to be more specific?“ You crossed your arms 

“…The man you fucked in Brazil“

You step back from, your face fall as your brain tried to understand what he just said.

“What the fuck are you saying. I was alone. The whole trip. Why the hell would I sleep with someone else? “

“Then explain this?“ he held up his writs to his Kimoyo beads. The screen lit up and he proceeded to show you a video. 

You could see the door of the hotel room being open. Who ever took this video must have snuck past the 3 guards that were supposed to be on duty that night. 

Fear struck in to your heart when you finally realized what Tchala had seen.You looked up at his face, he was starting at the screen. You wanted to stop the video and explain. You wanted the room to cave in and take you away from this. You didn’t mean for this to get to him. You bit your lip and carried on watching.

The person who was filming, opened the your bedroom door slowly. At that moment your moans could be heard. They where high pitched and needy. They were weak but clearly audible. All the frame shot was your brown leg on one of the big white pillows and the messy bedding and then it come to its ending. Your heart stopped. You deemed yourself lucky that that was all that could be seen. You wanted to run away from him and not have to deal with his eyes.

“I can explain..“

“Go ahead.“

“”Tchalla I was lonely…I was there for 3 weeks..without you. I missed you so much. This is so embarrassing…….I wanted you to be there with me. You know this…. It was one time Tchalla. “

“Do you hear yourself Y/N? You cheated on me and you - “

“Wait….cheated. Tchalla Im so confused. You have been treating me like this all this time cause you think I cheated on you.“

“Then what is this-“

“OMG T'CHALLA I WAS TOUCHING MYSELF …AND THAT IS A SHADOW FROM THE BIG PILLOW NOT A PERSON…OR A MAN!!….DID YOU THINK I WAS WITH SOMEONE ELSE???“ your eyes were about to pop out because of this man. He really was pushing it

“what was i -“ Tchalla tries to defend himself.

“No! You Don’t get to speak. This whole time your been keeping me out and shouting me out cause of this. Tchalla Im lucky this didn’t get in the hands of someone who would have uploaded it. I’m the Queen for Gods sake…. that would have destroyed me.“

You were so relieved to finally know why he was actually mad at you but you were also mad at him. Why didn’t he just ask you the day you got home?

“Calm yourself My Queen“ He went to pour himself a glass of whisky ..leaving your side. He had a smile on his face. You missed it. T'challa was happy to know you actually weren’t unfaithful. You missed him calling you his Queen but you couldn’t show him that, you were angry at your King.

“So…“ He took a small sip “….You were touching yourself.” He was back to his cocky self…you were not ready for that right now. 

“I’m leaving …have a safe trip to Nigeria.“ You turned to leave him but he reached for your waist just in time.

“Don’t you think we need to talk…about the video.“ He was teasing you.

“No i’m not going to talk….“ You teased back. You weren’t sure if everything was back to normal or not .You were really hoping he wasnt mad anymore. He had no reason to be.

You gave him a small kiss to get his attention. “Did you really think I was with someone else?” he didn’t say anything just giving you disappointed look.

“You owe me a vacation for this.“

“I’m really sorry my Queen..We can go wherever you want.“

“Okay.“ You wanted to ask him what would make him think you would step out. More questions piled on in your mind and he could see you were over thinking. Tchalla felt bad, he really did. He was just very bad at showing his true emotions … if they made him feel vulnerable. 

“Who took that video. I’m so mad. That was an invasion of my privacy”

“Don’t worry. She was reprimanded for her actions…and the guard who were supposed to keep you safe.“

“You didn’t kill them did you?“ 

“I should of. That could have been a crazy person who wanted to hurt you…when you were busy…pleasing yourself.“

“Fuck it Tchalla, Im out.“ You had never seen him smile so much. You loved it. 

“I’ll see you at dinner.“ You gave him another kiss on his lips before leaving him. when the doors to his study closed shut, you sent him a message on your Kimoyo beads.

“Don’t ever scare me like that“

[aboyandhisstarship]

Tinder AU David on Deployment

Tinder AU: David on deployment, Gwen makes a choice.

TW: suicide vest, Dear John, Torture, guns, blood, just general violence

 A/N Well my post about cutting some content from this chapter only got likes so i assume you all want to see it...as such head the trigger warnings...and be aware my Davids tend to be less happy go lucky, espiecally when he is working so bear that in mind...and dont yell at me 

 Gwen and David were in a very fancy Restaurant; across from the couple was Gwen’s parents they were asking him “so David…you have to travel a lot for your job?”

David nodded “I Go where I’m sent…”

Gwen’s mom asked “so you can be called away at short notice?”

David sighed “That depends…”

Gwen’s dad accused “so you are not here When Gwen needs you!?”

Gwen demanded “Dad!”

David smiled “it’s ok Gwen…it is a fair question…your right I will not always be here…but when I am Gwen is the most important Person.”

Gwen’s mom was about to respond when David’s phone started to beep, He answered it as Gwen’s parents glared saying “Go for Greenwood…”

David nodded “yes Sir…be there soon.”

Gwen said quietly “you have to go?”

David nodded sadly “Yea there is a…situation…”

David turned to Gwen’s parent’s “It was nice to meet you…”

Gwen’s dad sneered  “I’m sure it was.”

David kissed Gwen’s cheek before leaving, as soon as he was gone The Santos parent’s sighed and said “Gwen we want to talk to you about this relationship…”

 Chicago Illinois:

The plane landed as the team stepped onto the runway where a Detective was waiting saying “You the folks from the Army?”

David’s CO Smiled as she pointed everyone in turn starting with herself “Hammerhead, Whipperwell, Nomad, Cool Breeze.”

The Detective sighed “right no names…look we have no idea if this is legit or some gang banger trying to talk themselves up.”

Hammerhead said casually as the team loaded there bags “they sent us Detective…someone thinks it is legit.”

Fort Bragg, North Carolina:

Gwen slammed her door yelling to the couple on the other side “I am not giving up my future for him!”

Gwen’s mom said “Gwen you need to focus on you…you should finish this experiment and date a nice young man…your father and I have some ideas…”

Gwen groaned “are you really trying to get me to dump David so you can set me up with someone your more comfortable being seen with!?”

Gwen’s dad sighed “there are 3 doctors in this family! Do you really want to drag us down by including a Solider?” he spoke the last word as if it had personally kicked his dog.

Gwen groaned “Go away!”

Her parent’s walked away saying “this conversation is not over young Lady!”

Gwen plucked onto the couch laying her head in Lilly’s lap who was pretending to not hear the whole thing Gwen grumbled “Kill me.”

Lilly chuckled “I’m not exactly qualified…but I can always ask one of David’s coworkers.” She teased

Gwen grumbled “don’t say things like that…They already hate him…”

Lilly sighed “right, sorry.”

Gwen sighed “what am I going to do…I wish I could talk to David he always has the right thing to say.”

Lilly stroked her hair saying “Just relax…maybe watch some TV?”

Chicago Illinois:

David sighed as they drove through the snow saying “nice place…”

The detective chuckled “yea we just got over a blizzard.”

Hammerhead sighed dramatically saying “Great…our briefing was a bit Vague on the situation on the ground here…just some group of hoods are telling anyone who will listen they got their hands on a chemical weapon.”

The detective nodded “the Attica 99, they are mostly in Drug running and have been fighting another gang for years.”

Jasper asked “tell us about them…there leader.”

The detective sighed “Carlos Mendoza, classic piece of work thinks he is the next Al Copone.”

David shook his head “that’s always a good sign…”

The detective nodded “he was the one that started bragging about how they get something big from overseas  at first we figured it was some new drug shipment, then we started picking up chatter that they got there hands on  a chemical weapon that they want to use to send a Message.”

Hammerhead nodded “where do they hang out, we need to take the temperature.”

The Detective sighed “they own a night club on the east side…”

David asked “you got anyone in custody we can talk to?”

The Detective nodded “a couple…”

Hammerhead smiled “good thinking Nomad, you would stand out in the club anyway.”

Jasper said “I will tag along.”

Hammerhead smiled “right then me and Wipperwell will check out the club.”

The car pulled up to their Safe house.

 Police station:

David and Jasper arrived wearing suits at the station walking up to reception David smiled saying “hello, I have an appointment.”

The desk officer asked “can I have your name?”

David smiled “Nomad and Cool Breeze.”

The desk officer chuckled saying “is this a prank.”

Jasper looked at her saying “humor us.”

The officer typed before looking up “uhh the bullpen is that way.”

David smiled at her “thank you Ma’am.”

Jasper shot the officer a wink as they entered the bull pen, David saying “so who exactly do we talk to?”

A detective walked up to them saying “so your…the guys…” she looked around before saying “from the Army?”

Jasper smiled “that’s us.”

David shook his head “Nomad and Cool Breeze Ma’am.”

The detective said “Sasha Daniels.” holding out her hand which was quickly shook.

Jasper said “so if there someone we can talk to?”

Sasha nodded leading them towards the cell “yep I need to be in there to make sure you don’t…”

David blinked “what start waterboarding him?…we don’t do that…”

Jasper added “usually.” With a playful smile

Tabii muttered “sure.”

David opened the door and inside was a rather burley looking man  who simply said “I’m not telling you anything fuzz.”

David sat down across from him with jasper leaning on the table as David smiled “Fuzz now I have not been called that before.”

Jasper nodded “nether have I.”

David shrugged “it helps that we are not cops.”

The guy asked “what?”

David reached onto his jacket pocket pulling out a large folder saying “today is your lucky day friend.”

Jasper smiled “you see we are salesman, we sell vacations.”

The man said louder “what the…”

David nodded “that’s right we sell vacations to unpleasant folks such as yourself and today we are having a fire sale, an all-expense paid trip to Cuba.”

Jasper nodded saying “yep a nice free trip to beautiful Guantanamo Bay Cuba.”

David smiled “and you are likely wondering what you did to earn such a wonderful trip to what do the kids call it?”

Jasper adds helpfully “Gitmo I think?”

David snapped his fingers “that’s right…” placing a badge on the table

The guy said “This a trick?” looking at the badge then at Tabii

Tabii shook her head saying “there for real.”

The guy blinked saying “department of defense…”

David smiled “you’re playing with the big kids now.”

The guy sighed “look maybe I dealt some drugs…”

Jasper clicked his tongue “Nomad do we care about drugs?”

David said “drugs are bad, but that’s not why we are here.”

Jasper nods “no it is not…you see the reason you’re not already on a plane to your new vacation home is because you can maybe tell us something useful.”

The guy bulked up “I aint no snitch.”

David sighed “you and your friends caught our attention when you started telling anyone who would listen that you have a chemical weapon and plan to use it…not the greatest idea.”

Jasper nodded “you see now you and your buddies are on a watch list… And Nomad what do we do to people on watch lists?”

David leaned back saying “well Cool Breeze…we don’t do a lot of watching,” The subtext being conveyed easily.

The guy eyes went wide as Jasper said “that’s right, you see all of your other crimes are thoroughly none of our business but chemical weapons…” Jasper Whistled

David shook his head “it is not a good look for you…and your buddies…but if you talk to us about the weapons maybe the locals deal with you and not us.”

The guy sighed “how do I know you’re legit and won’t send me to Gitmo or worse?”

Jasper smiled “that’s easy we release to the capable hands of Sasha here who sends you to normal prison.”

The guy sighed “alright here is what I know.”

  Safehouse:

David finished briefing saying “that’s what our new friend told us…”

Hammerhead nodded “that lines up with what we saw in the club, lots of guards well-armed but badly trained, we can take em easy but there are Civs around.”

Jasper shrugged “they should make a B line for the exits as soon as the flashes go off.”

David sighed “what about the weapons we will be wearing Hazmats but if they go off it would be bad for the neighborhood.”

Hammerhead smiled “Skylight…Nomad you take the boss as we breach the bottom floor and move for the weapons.”

Wipper well asked “Level of force?”

Hammer head nodded “we have been given the nod, no kid gloves, lethal force that said the DOD does not want any Civ bodies”

David chuckled “so check our shots.”

 Next night:

David adjusted his hazmat Suit a gasmask resting on his forehead as he stood on the roof top next to the club an Mp5 hanging over his chest, Sasha sighed “wow I always thought you guys only dress like that in the movies.”

David chuckled with a shrug “nothing wrong with living up to some stereotype’s, listen this will be loud and they are going to be rather panicked People running out of that building.”

Sasha nodded “we can handle that.”

David’s radio cracked to life as Hammerhead said “Nomad we are on approach.”

David fired Sasha a smile before pulling down his gas mask saying “On my way.” David picked up a breach charge jumping to the next building as Tabii Climbed down from the building.

The Bass of the music pounded in David’s ears as he said “Green,” Placing the breach charge on the skylight after securing his rappel lines.

Hammerhead said “On my count…3, 2, 1 Execute Execute Execute.”

David blew the charge throwing a flashbang into the room as he rappelled into the VIP area of the club, he landed staring down the boss he saw a goon coming from his left and shoot him dead before pointing his gun back at the boss saying “Hands in the Air now!”

David heard gunshots screaming and more flashbangs going off and a woman to his left came into view he scanned ready to shoot her but saw she was only holding a phone he switched back to the boss saying “get those hands up!” his voice muffled by the gas mask.

The boss pulled out a small device and David didn’t Hesitate shooting the boss dead, he detached himself from his rope reloading his Magazine before walked up to the dead man flipping him over before he looking at the picture of Mendoza before saying “Hammerhead, Dry hole…I repeat Mendoza is not on site.”

He saw the woman clearly filming him saying with a sigh “Ma’am you need to vacate,” Before saying on his radio “Hammer head I’m moving your way.”

David moved down the stairs shooting some gang members that tried to get the drop on him before approaching basement calling “coming in!”

Hammerhead turned around Gasmask on her forehead “come on in.”

David entered seeing the “chemical weapon” David pulled up his Gas mask “this a joke ma’am?”

In front of them was pallet of Axe body spray, Jasper sighed “unless they planned to Axe bomb that enemy crew then maybe they moved it.”

Whipper well held up a tester saying “it was here, who knows how long ago.”

Jasper made an over here whistle, David shook his head “how about that.”

Inside were a lot of weapons, ranging from Glocks to AK’s

Hammerhead sighed “The locals can handle these weapons; we need to fall back and figure out our next move.” The team pulled on the gas masks before leaving the building.

 North Carolina:

Gwen was sitting in her dorm before her phone started to light up with crazy amount of messages all having variations on the question “is that David?”

Gwen chuckled “this should be dumb.” She clicked the link and was sent to YouTube video titled “No police raid I ever saw.” With 8 million views, Gwen sighed “I swear if I get rick rolled.”

Gwen clicked Play and was treated to a typical club video of some kind with people dancing to some music about thirty seconds passed before there was an explosion glass rained from the ceiling as people started screaming the camera person saw a cylinder hit the ground before there was a flash  the Person holding the camera was clearly blinded as a man in all black wearing a gasmask dropped from the ceiling, the Camera watched him scan firing his weapon and the camera followed someone who fell against the wall dead blood flying everywhere before the man in the gasmask turned on a man in the middle room calling “Hands in the air Now!”

The camera stepped forward and the man in the gasmask pointed there weapon at them briefly before turning back to the man in the center of the room “Get those hands up!” his voice muffled by the gas mask.

The man looked to be holding something and without a second of pause the guy in the gasmask shot hit dead the weapon was so loud Gwen almost gasped as it was finished with the light Klink of the shell casings hit the floor. The Gasmask wearing man unclipped himself from his ropes reloading  his weapon flipping over the body and looking at a picture shaking his head he said something that Gwen could not hear over the chaos before turning around  looking directly at the person filming saying voice muffled by the gas mask  “you need to vacate ma’am.”

Gwen watched the Green eyes behind the gas mask and the way the guy wearing the mask said ma’am Gwen mouth opened “Holy fuck…”

The video kept filming all through the evacuation before ending. Gwen sent back her mouth wide open as she paused “I knew what he does…but seeing it…”

Gwen stood up walking over to the trashcan before vomiting.

Chicago Illinois:

David sat on a chair still in full gear his eyes closed as he napped, they were waiting for their local contacts to tell them if they heard anything when they heard coming to the door there was a knock and David pulled out his Glock as he nodded to Jasper who opened the door, Sasha walked in seeing the armed David who lowered his gun saying “Should I come back later?” food in her hand.

Hammerhead smiled saying “come on in Detective.”

Sasha entered and saw the inside of the safe house covered in photos and other documents about the team’s target.  Sasha smiled carefully “nice place…”

Whipper well laughed “better than our normal safe houses.”

Sasha chuckled “somehow I believe it…”

David asked “what do you have for us?”

Sasha smiled putting down the subs saying “your raid has had the desired effect, Attica 99 have gone to ground, and we have rounded up the majority of their leadership from the club.”

Jasper asked “and the Weapon?”

Sasha sighed “most of the guys we grabbed said the same thing, it should have been in the basement of the club, and they are just as shocked as we are that it wasn’t there.”

David asked “we believe them?”

Sasha paused “some BS’ing us I buy…but all of them…especially after what they saw I don’t buy it you put the fear of god into them…”

Hammerhead sighed “did we learn anything.”

Sasha nodded “Mustard gas…what they stole us 800 metric liters of mustard gas.”

South Carolina:

Gwen tossed and turned as she watched the assault over and over again, the brutality the coldness of it was getting to her…and just for a second she started to wonder…maybe my folks are right about him.

Chicago:

David sat in a car with Sasha looking at an apartment around the corner from him, David was in passenger with Sasha behind the wheel, and David had his eyes closed as Sasha cleared her throat “soo Nomad…”

David opened his eyes “Target sighted?”

Sasha asked “Target?”

David frowned before slapping his head “sorry old habits…”

Sasha frowned “I think it is telling…”

David sighed “do I want to…”

Sasha interrupted saying “Judging from your assault you’re not big on taking people alive.”

David countered “I am trained to fight wars Detective not fight crime.” Peering through binoculars

Sasha nodded “right…so is there a Miss Nomad?”

David dodged saying “do you see a ring?”

Sasha countered “I don’t know your name; I don’t think it is a stretch for you not wearing your ring.”

David lied unconvincingly “I am an only child, with no family, no friends and no romantic attachments.”

Sasha laughed “they really make you say that?”

David chuckled “no names, we really going to talk about my personal life?”

Sasha said with triumph “You do have a personal life.”

David sighed “the life I have is the Mission, it comes first…always does…”

South Carolina:

Gwen was starting to question her relationship, as she looked at her phone all of her texts to David un answered as he deployed…somewhere, Gwen opened to email again looking at it…unsure what to do, it was a big chance but then again she would have to leave David…she began to look it over again.”

 Chicago, safe house:

David briefed “we have been sitting on the girlfriend’s house for almost two weeks, but we finally got a sighting of him…”

Showing a photo of Mendoza taking out the trash, Hammer head said “the Pentagon give us the go, we want him alive to have a long chat…we move in tonight.”

 South Carolina:

Gwen had mauled it over before she hit the call button “Miss Santo’s have you considered our offer?”

Gwen nodded “yes I have decided to accept it.”

The voice sounded happy “glad to hear it Professor, you will need to move here…will that be an issue?”

Gwen paused before saying “Not at all.”  Gwen ended the call and sat back.

Gwen quickly put her stuff in a truck heading for Seattle, before she clutched the key heading for David’s apartment.

David’s apartment Fort Bragg:

Gwen let herself in seeing that the home had not been occupied in some time, she took the case she brought carefully putting away all of her stuff, she placed a note on the kitchen table before saying out loud “sorry David.”  Leaving her key on the table she locked the door and walked away not looking back.

 Chicago:

David lowered his night vision goggles over his gasmask as they crept towards the apartment, the team carefully opened the lobby quickly clearing the darked building as they advanced up the stairs, coming to apartment 27, the one owned by Mendoza’s Girlfriend, they stacked up on the door as Hammer head counted down with her fingers “3,2,1.”

At one Whipperwell used a breaching hammer bashing open the door, the team flew in shouting “on the floor!”

A baby cried as David and Jasper wrestled the surprised Mendoza to the ground David demanded “where is it!”

Mendoza responded “you’re too late.”

Hammerhead sighed “Whipper well let’s check on the girl friend.”

David and Jasper lifted there masks with David asking “what are you smiling about?”

David was answered with the yell of one word “avalanche!”

University of Seattle:

Gwen shook hands with the English department head saying “happy you were able to join us on such short notice Professor.”

Gwen smiled “happy to be here.”

The department head “lets show you to your office.”

 Chicago:

Sasha saw David and jasper drag Mendoza out of the smoking apartment, Sasha Asked “nomad…what happened?”

David pulled out a sat phone as Jasper growled “this son of a bitch rigged up his girlfriend with an S vest…clacked it off.”

Sasha blinked “are you saying…”

Jasper nodded “turned his Girlfriend into a suicide bomber, took out herself, her baby, Hammer head and Whipper well.”

Jasper adding“and apparently he already planted the gas.”

Sasha swore “that sick fuck!”

David nodded “yes sir…I understand what the president is authorizing…no sir…no qualms about it…yes sir the Mission comes first,”  

Sasha paused “Nomad…”

David stated “pentagon have told us the gloves are off He has been declared an enemy combatant…”

Sasha asked “what are you saying?”

David said simply “Take a walk…”

Mendoza smile faded “wait, I’m not going into police custody?”

Jasper opened the van back doors as David repeated “take a walk.”

Sasha asked “what are you going to do to him?”

David clenched his fists “nothing we have not done before.”

Mendoza said “wait you can’t, I killed some of them…there is no telling what they do to me.”

Sasha paused before nodding saying “right…”

David threw him into the van saying coldly “enjoy your walk.”

Warehouse: TW torture

David dragged Mendoza to a chair in the middle of the warehouse, where surrounding them where a variety of tools, David said coldly “Tell us where the gas is.”   Jasper picked up a wretch.

Mendoza said “I want a lawyer!”

David sighed “wrong answer” Nodding at jasper, who swung the wrench at Mendoza’s left pointer finger breaking it the blow causing to man scream in pain.

David said again “where is the gas Mendoza? You have 9 more fingers.”

Mendoza breathed out “I am not telling you anything!”

David nodded again and jasper broke his middle finger as Mendoza screamed “Fuck Fuck stop stop!”

David glared “this ends as soon as you tell me what I want to know.”

Mendoza sighed “fine…your mom is a whore!”

David sighed “do the entire hand.”

Jasper swung wretch breaking the entirety of his left hand, David said “you want to survive this you piece of garbage? Then tell us!”

Mendoza groaned “I won’t tell you anything!”

David grabbed a car battery and jumper cables sparking the object, as jasper throw a bucket of water on him “tell us and this ends.”

Mendoza groaned as David touched his body with the cables delivering a severe shock the man swore “fuck ok…wiggly alright the baseball game…those punks from fifth street have their meetings there, we are going to take them out in the game.”

Jasper groaned “along with thousands of others!”

Mendoza groaned “that’s war…”

Jasper looked like he was going to hit him again  but David stopped him “Cool Breeze…The Mission isn’t over…we need to call Sasha.”

Mendoza groaned “you can’t stop it.”

David ignored him as he called Sasha saying “wiggly stadium, and send an ambulance to the following address…”

Station:

David signed the paperwork to get his team released from the morgue as Sasha said “so I visited Mendoza in the hospital…well as much as I could considering the Feds waiting to ship him off.”

David put down the clip board “oh what did you learn?”

Sasha paused “he must have fallen down one hell of a flight of stairs” she half joked

David responded coldly “whatever the mission allows.”

Sasha nodded “the pentagon…they told you to do that?”

David answered “they wanted the gloves off…that’s what it looks like have a nice life detective.”

David left the station and never looked back

Fort Bragg:

David sighed as Miller debriefed saying “Master Sargent…you did good work.”

David shook his head “we took casualties sir…the mission was off from day one.”

Miller nodded “indeed, but you are Sargent Fronds managed ok, you have been given the command, of the team.”

David paused before saying “thank you sir…”

Miller Smiled “you have to new members joining you soon, the first is your tech expert, Warrant officer Tabii Gordon, Her call sign is Redcap,” Sliding over a file before adding “and fresh out of selection, Corporal Gaylord Nurfington his call sign is Dirt Diver”

David crocked an eyebrow “Gaylord?”

Miller smiled “his friends call him Nurf.”

David took the files “thank you sir.”

Miller reinterred “You did good work son…go home and get some rest.”

David nodding grabbing his files and going home.

 David’s apartment:

David opened the door, sighing as he entered trying to put on a smile not let the mission get to him he put his key in the dish saying aloud “Gwen you home?...it’s me David…”

David then said aloud “well I guess you would figure that…considering this is my apartment.”

David felt his hair stand up on the back of his neck, his Instinct’s saying there was something wrong, he reached for his gun moving for the bedroom, taking a deep breath he threw the door open quickly clearing the empty room, David moved quickly clearing the bathroom. Before lowering his weapon his heart pounding before he saw it, the note and the key on the table.

David put his weapon away picking up the note feeling his stomach turn as he recognized Gwen’s handwriting.

David opened the note reading:

 David…I’m sorry that I can’t do this in person, but with you being sent away right in the middle of that dinner, forced me to come to a conclusion that maybe I am not cut for this life…being with you, watching the news every night wondering if I will see your face as a casualty in some country, or get a knock on my door or a call saying that you died and they can’t tell me where or how just that you are a hero.  And they are right you are a hero David…but your also in a messy business…I saw a video from your recent deployment…I saw you kill two people with no mercy not hesitation. That is the type of person you are, I guess I always knew after our first when you shot that man, but I didn’t want to read that writing on the wall…I know who you are David I know you would never hurt anyone who was not trying to hurt you, but frankly it all comes down to one question, and I decided not to give you a chance to answer it, the question is what do you love more your job or me…and I already know the answer…the mission always comes first  for you David…so I took a job somewhere else…you will never see me again…goodbye David…stay safe

 -Gwen

 David dropped the note holding his head in his hands before reaching over to this phone to call Gwen before met with a simple “the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected.”  

David look down feeling the tears welling on his face before his phone buzzed, he reeled himself in saying with a simple “go for Greenwood…Yes sir, not an issue at all.”

David placed the note on the table grabbing his go bag and left the apartment.

A/N: 

So Gwen dumped David after his team died and he is now in charge...will they stay apart...Not sure...maybe, maybe some thing will happen at her old school, what i do know is that there will be some Jaspvid Brotp and David driving into his work until his team pulls him out...but no need to worry about that, the next chapter will probably be tamer, but i debated showing Jasper and David torturing that guy for a long time, they was build up with the waterboarding joke, but considered just not showing it cutting to the scene after, but decided to make the audience have conflicted feelings about David, possibly  even Side with Gwen who just dumped him...but i don’t want David to be a crazy guy so i wrote in The Pentagon Ordering it clearly, but enough talk...tell me what you thought of this chapter, and of that scene, weather it was done well, or felt gratuitous...this chapter has been done for like a week before i decided to publish, anyway stay safe   

[fiftyshadesgrl]

Part two of my brantley gilbert series! I hope everyone enjoys it.

I wake up to find myself tangled up around Brantley. Hes still asleep and its dark outside. I hear a humming sound then a bump. I realize the bus is moving. I jump up, "oh my god!"

Brantley sits up in a panic, "what is it baby?"

I pull the sheet up around me suddenly feeling vulnerable. "The bus is moving. I cant go anywhere! I have to go home."

He wraps me in his arms to comfort me. "Its okay baby girl. Why dont you just stay for the next couple of shows then if you still wanna go home, Ill make sure you get there."

"I have to work. I cant just give everything up to be a groupie."

"Hey." He said making me look at him. "You will never be a groupie. You are way better than that and you know it. Just give us some time, give me some time to show you that this time will be different."

I sigh, "what about my work?"

"Call them and tell them you need some time off."

I snicker, "the real world doesnt work like that. We cant all be Brantley Gilbert."

He lays back down and smiles, "Hell Ill call em myself." I laughed at that and can actually see him doing that. I shake my head and turn my phone on and find its only 2 in the morning. I quickly text my boss and tell him that Im taking my vacation early and Id be back in two weeks. I turn my phone back off and lay back down cuddling up to brantley.

He wraps his arms around me and kisses me. I moan and crawl on top of him. "Damn baby girl, youre gonna wear me out." He says smiling. I smiled back down at him, I cant believe I have him all to myself but the memory of three years ago comes flooding back to me.

3 years ago.....

I was out with mama becky trying to find the right dress that made me feel beautiful. I wanted to blow brantleys mind in a couple months when we say I do. Mama becky turns to me as we pull into the driveway, "hows he been lately?" I sigh and shake my head. "He has his good days and bad days."

His mama had tears in her eyes, "these days its more bad than good." I nodded but pasted a smile on my face.

"Dont worry mama, things will get better. Hopefully he will sober up by the wedding." I said hopeful but doubt still clung heavily in my mind and heart.

I hugged her and jumped out of the truck. "Ill come back this way in a couple of days to talk about the flowers and everything." Mama becky said and I nodded and waved as she pulled out of mine and brantleys driveway.

The house was unusually quiet, brantley usually had music blaring or playing his guitar chugging beer out on the front porch. I unlocked the door and walked in. "Brantley, Im back." Not one word, I walked towards the bedroom where the door was cracked open. I peeked through the crack and saw brantley laying on his stomach in bed sleeping.

I smiled at the sight of him, no matter what we go through he always and will forever hold my heart. I decided I would jump on him and wake him up that way. As I pushed the door open I gasped at what I saw. Amber, his ex laying on my side of the bed with my fiancee'.

Clothes, both his and hers, thrown everywhere meaning they were naked under the thin sheet that lay on top of them. I stood there just staring, I couldnt believe he would do this to me. He promised he would never hurt me.

I got my wits about me and finally spoke. "What the hell brantley!" He flipped over but amber still lay there sleeping. I wanted nothing more than to drag her by the hair of her head out of my house and beat her ass.

He jumped up out of bed and pulled his boxers up. I wanted to throw something at him, slap him, do something but I stood froze to the spot. He stumbled over to me and grabbed my arm and walked outside of our bedroom shutting the door.

I stopped just a few steps from the bedroom door and pulled away from him. "What the hell? Im gone for one day and youve got that whore in our bed!"

He held up his finger to his lips, "shhh."

That pissed me off that much more. "You want me to be quiet!? So I dont disturb that homewreckers sleep! I dont give a fuck if she sleeps good or not. You and her both are very lucky I dont beat both of your asses!" I got right up in his face and dared him to tell me to be quiet again.

"Look," he said holding his hands up, "I got bored last night and you wasnt here again, so I went out to the bar. She was there and I was lonely. Youre never around anymore I need some love every now and then."

I slapped him across his face hard. His head snapped back but I didnt care. "Youre a asshole, I have been planning OUR wedding that you didnt want to help with. You wouldnt be alone if you would stop popping pills and drinking and come with me and help."

He looked back at me but there was no emotion on his face. Thats what worried me most. He wasnt feeling anything. "You know I would disappoint you at our wedding if I helped. Id get something wrong."

"Well you can forget about the wedding. It seems like you got all you need right in there." I pointed towards the bedroom door. I walked towards it and slung it open. Amber was standing beside the bed just pulling brantleys shirt over her body.

I pointed at her, "you say a god damn word and Ill fuckin stomp a mudhole in your ass. I advise you to get the fuck out before I change my mind and do it anyway." She grabbed her pants and pulled them on and headed out of the room.

I grabbed a duffle bag and started shoving my clothes in it. "What are you doing?" I heard brantley say behind me. I gave a humorless chuckle and kept stuffing clothes in it.

"What does it fuckin look like?" I threw over at my shoulder.

"Looks like your making the biggest mistake of your life." He said emotionless.

Before I knew what I was doing I picked up one of his heavy boots and threw it. The boot connected with the aide of his face. "Mistake!? You think Im making a mistake. No honey you made the biggest mistake of YOUR life the moment you picked that whore up and brought her to our house!"

I kept packing my clothes and when the duffle bag was full I zipped it up and threw it over my shoulder. "Ill send kolby or mama becky to get the rest of my stuff. Dont call me when you get sober." I walked out towards the front door but stopped before I walked outside.

My heart was breaking into a million pieces. The love of my life cheated on me and doesnt seem to care. I heard his footsteps behind me.

"You walk out that door, dont you ever come back." He said, I dropped my bag and turned towards him. He smiled thinking I had decided to stay.

The tears started flowing freely then. Seeing how cold he was towards me, no emotion no love in his eyes. "What happened to us? We used to be so happy. When did things go bad?" I asked almost in a whisper.

He shrugged, "I dont know. I guess I fell out of love with you a long time ago. I dont want you anymore, Im moving on to better things. Keep the ring, pawn it, sell it whatever you wanna do."

I nodded and took the ring off my finger that I thought would never come off. I placed it in the palm of his hand and closed his hand around it. "Take care of yourself brantley." I walked back over to the door and picked my bag up and walked out to my old mustang sitting in the driveway.

I threw my bag in the back seat and slammed my car door. I started my car and drove down the driveway. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw brantley standing on the porch staring at my ring in his hand.

I drove all night that night until I made it to florida. I stopped at the first hotel and checked in. I called mama becky as soon as I was settled and told her what had happened. After that phone call I texted brantleys brother kolby and asked him to pick my stuff up from brantleys. He said he would and asked if I was okay. I replied with a simple 'I will be.' I turned my phone off and curled up on the bed crying myself to sleep.

1 year later....

I was working at a local diner as a waitress working nights mostly but whenever someone called in I would be the first to take their shift. I was run down but I needed the money.

It was a little after 1 in the morning and there was no one in the diner. I took that moment to walk outside for a smoke break. My eyes felt heavy and I probaly got a total of 4 hours of aleep over the past 36 hours. Rent had to be paid so I sucked it up and done what had to be done. I walked back into the diner and I heard on the speakers a voice from the local radio dj.

'Here is the new single from the newest and hottest thing in country music today. Heres shes my kinda crazy by brantley gilbert.' 

My heart stopped as I heard his beautiful voice coming through the speakers. I closed my eyes and the lyrics just broke my heart. I have missed him so much and I still think about the day that everything changed. The bell above the door rang as someone came in the diner.

Sal the night manager walked out feom behind the counter. "Sit anywhere you like sir, our waitress will be with you shortly." I was still stuck in a daze but I cleared my head and pulled out my paper and pen ready to take the order.

I turned and walked over to the booth where the man was sitting. I couldnt believe my eyes. Brantley sitting there drumming his fingers on the table. Watching me. I stumbled a bit but remembered what happened a year ago. I stood straighter and walked over, not looking at him.

"What can I get you?" I said very coldly.

"How bout a smile darlin." He said smoothly.

I rolled my eyes. "We only serve food and drinks here. You want a smile theres a bar right across the way there. Im sure you will find lots of them there."

I still had my eyes glued to my pad of paper, my pen hovering waiting for him to say what he really wanted. After a few minutes I turned my back "let me know when you decide."

That statement was about more than just his food choices. I was wanting ro see if he really had changed. I took the rag from behind the counter and started wiping tables down that were already squeaky clean. I just wanted to keep busy. I wanted to keep my mind off of brantley.

I saw movement from the corner of my eye. I looked up and brantley was motioning for me. I walked over pulling my pen and paper pad out again. "Finally decide on something?"

I still wouldnt look at him, he sighed "yeah burger, fries, and a mountain dew."

I scribbled it down and ripped the paper off. "Alright be right back with your drink." I said turning before he could say anything else. I gave the order to the cook and got his drink ready. I waited until his food was done before I took it to him.

"Heres your food and your drink. Enjoy." I said trying to turn away but he grabbed my wrist.

"Why dont you have a seat? Looks like im your only customer so you cant be busy."

I growled and plopped down on the other side of the booth looking at anywhere but at him. I kept quiet, the only sound was the music comig from the speakers and the hum from the fridge behind the counter.

"Would you just look at me (Y/N)? Please?" He said sounding exhausted. I sighed and looked him dead in the eyes. Shutting off all emotions. I waited for him to speak, he sighed and closed his eyes. He shook his head, "you look tired."

I chuckled humorlessly, "wow thanks. Thats a nice way of saying I look like shit."

He shook his head, "no I meant it just like it came out. You look tired. But youre still beautiful."

I snickered and rolled my eyes. "Rents gotta be paid brantley. I have to work to make rent." He nodded and he opened his mouth but before he could speak I cut him off. "Why the hell are you here brantley?"

He grabbed for my hand but I pulled back. "I came to see you darlin."

I rolled my eyes, "well you saw me. Now can I get back to work?"

I went to get up but this time he did grab my hand. "Please just talk to me. Its been a year. Im sober now. Thinking clearly for the first time."

I smiled at that, "thats great brantley." I pulled my hand from his and stood up. "Im really happy that you have turned your life around. I heard your song on the radio right before you came in. Its great, just hate that its about that damn whore." I said the last part through gritted teeth. He shook his head and opened his mouth as if to say something but the bell rang above the door before he could.

I turned to see a young couple that looked weary from a road trip come in. "Hey yall sit anywhere you want. Ill be right there." I turned back towards brantley who still hadnt touched a bite of his food. I shrugged, "duty calls. Heres your check, if you want anything else let me know and Ill adjust it. If not sal can ring you up when youre done. Bye brantley, take care of yourself."

The younger couple ordered breakfast platters and coffee so I was pretty busy with refilling their cups and everything. Right as my shift ended an hour later I walked outside and lit me a much needed cigarette. I started walking over to my mustang but slowed up when I noticed brantleys truck parked right beside it. Brantley was leaning against the side of it casually smoking a cigarette himself.

I walked over just as he threw his cigarette to the ground. "There you are." He said smiling.

I fished my keys out of my purse and went to unlock my door. Brantley stopped me before I could climb in. "Hey, I was hoping we could talk for a minute." He said, his voice filled with hope.

I sighed and slumped against my car. "Im very tired brantley. I wanna go home and go to bed. Make it quick." I sighed glancing at my watch.

"Okay, look I know things ended bad between us and everything." I raised one of my eyebrows at him and crossed my arms. "Whats your point brantley?"

He sighed, "I dont know what Im trying to say. Look, mama told me where you were and I wanted to bring some stuff to you. I thought you might want it." He handed me a box the size of a shoe box. I took it and nodded.

"I uh, got a show the next town over. If you want Ill leave you a ticket at will call." He said rubbing the back of his neck.

I turned and climbed in my car and placed the box beside me in the seat. "Thanks but no thanks. Im swamped at work and I cant afford to take off."

He nodded and leaned down, "I know I just thought...."

I cut him off before he could speak. "Nothings changed brantley. Now if youll excuse me Im going home to get some sleep before my next shift in a few hours."

I cranked my car and didnt give him a chance to reply. I knew if he did then I would probably break. It was hard enough seeing him tonight and trying to act like I didnt care. All I wanted to do was throw myself in his arms and let him kiss away this last miserable lonely year.

Also in the back of my mind was what he did. He cheated when he promised he never would. He promised he would always love me but he told me that day he fell out of love with me. I could never forget that.

I drove back to my small apartment and headed straight for the bed. Sleep came easy but those blue eyes haunted my dreams.

[iamsonyeondone]

roommate // lee seokmin

☆+｡･fluffy!!

☆+｡･2.5k words

everyone knew who seokmin was

and when i meant everyone, i literally meant anyone who's seen him at least once

because he just has that really contagious smile and aura that's refreshing in this day and age

the ladies who run the stalls near the restaurant he works at always makes sure to drop by and give him a large tip

or the little kids who pass by whenever their done with school would always greet him

he exudes such a positive and calming aura that attracts people

and his boss is so glad he hired him because business has been booming ever since

seokmin was only looking for a part time job to help him pay his student loans and general living expenses

but even when he's nearly done with paying it off, he wouldnt mind working there for another extra few years

because maybe theres a certain someone who frequents the restaurant alot

who am i kidding?? of course its you

the person who always drops by and orders a fixed menu

sometimes you would try something different when there was occasion you wanted to celebrate

like that one time when seokmin took your order and it was unexpectedly different and asked you about it

"i just got a promotion for my job so i figured it would be nice to treat myself a little,"

and your smile sends him blushing because its full of genuine happiness

so seokmin sneaked in a dessert on the house because its not treating yourself if theres no dessert

(although the boss would have happily complied if seokmin just told him about it since you're a regular)

but one thing seokmin realizes is that you never really go there on a date, or at least thats what he knows

whenever he has a shift and you come by, youre either alone, with a bunch of friends or with family

he's never really seen you be intimate with someone at one of their tables

and maybe he's relieved to know that

that you're possibly single and that he isnt discreetly flirting with a taken person

and his way of discreetly flirting is doing little thank you doodles on your receipt or complimenting on your look that day

other than that he's never had the guts to do anything else

because you're a regular and he's only seen you at his workplace

but all of that changes when you settle for an order thats a little too much for a table of one

and that forced smile tells everything

"you sure you can finish it up? its more than i can even finish myself" seokmin attempted at a little joke while you chuckle softly

"im not sure, but i guess I'll try,"

and seokmin's heartbroken just by looking at your furrowed brows and your lips curling into a frown

and something just clicks within him to do something, anything

"maybe you would want to order takeout instead? and maybe let me take you out too?"

it was the cringiest line he had ever spoken, and his best friend jeonghan would probably agree

but you turn to him and giggle, a little surprised at his forwardness

"that sounds nice, but dont you have work?"

"im clocking out in about ten minutes, and thats when your food should be ready so is it uhhh,, a-"

"its a date then,"

when he sees your smile tugging more at each side, a small weight lifts off of his shoulders

and he's more than relieved to know that his attempt at taking you out on a date wasnt rejected

you told him you would wait for him at one of the nearby cafes

and when he walks in with your take out in hand, seeing you with a deeper frown while you stared into your glass of water

seokmin made it his mission to cheer you up by the end of the night, or at least as long as the date goes

"r-ready?" seokmin stuttered, wiggling the plastic bag in his other hand

you gave him a smile and a nod, walking side by side as the both of you walked out of the cafe

"sorry if this is a little intruding but is anything wrong? you dont have to answer if you dont want to," seokmin asked you, worry coating his every word

"maybe being kicked out of my apartment was the thing that happened," you chuckled sarcastically, taking another deep breath

his eyes grew wide, apologising profusely if he had gone a little too far

"you dont have to apologize all the time seokmin, it wasnt your fault," you reassured him, giving him a small smile

"but im sure youre upset, and making you upset on... on our date wasnt something i had in mind," he mumbled, scratching the nape of his neck

this time, your giggles were lighter and less forced

"then what exactly did you have in mind?" you raised a brow

without another word, seokmin glimmers with his wide contagious grin, asking for your hand before jogging to the park nearby

the both of you were panting by the time you guys reached the peaceful park, laughter filling the calm space

"did you plan on giving me exercise or?" you laughed, your hands resting on your knees while seokmin placed a small mat onto the grass

"not really. i wanted to hear you laugh and somehow succeeded," and maybe your heart skips a little from the way he smiles at you

and you blush lightly at his words, taking a seat next to him while he laid out the food

"i made sure to order your regular order in case you had a change in mind. because you never really order this- not that i stalk you or anything, you just come by the restaurant alot,”

“thank you seokmin,” 

for the rest of the day, you dont even realize the plastered smile on your face, or the worries you had been panicking over a moment ago

all you could think about was seokmin’s antics and his contagious smile

the sun eventually sets, leaving the both of you to head home

and then it clicked

“wait, do you have anywhere else to sleep for the night?” seokmin asked while the both of you walked through the park, towards the exit

“my family lives in another state and my friends already has a full house of roommates. i guess i can sleep in a motel for the time being,” you shrugged, as if it was an obvious answer

“why dont you... why dont you sleep over at my place. I live 10 minutes away from the restaurant and i have a guest room so you dont have to worry about it,” he suggested out of complete sincerity, only worry for what lurks along the motel allies

“that sounds nice but i cant let you help me more than i deserve-”

“but you do deserve more than this, so why dont you just stay at my place for one night? its only me anyways so you dont have to worry about any roommates, " he smiled

and that twinkling in his eyes, nearly pushes you to agree with him without hesitating

"I'll think about it. in the mean time, i should probably pack up my stuff,"

"i can-"

"thank you seokmin, and give me your number just in case,"

you took out a ballpoint pen from your pocket, handing it to him to write down his digits on your palm

and after a minute of stifling your giggles from the tickling sensation on your hand, you thank him once more before jogging off towards your apartment

although you didnt think you'll see each other so soon

as you stood at the end of a stairway that led to his apartment, you fiddled with your duffle bag on your shoulder, wondering if sleeping over his place was a good idea

its not like the both of you talked on a regular basis, and you only see him every week or so

so what made you feel like sleeping over at this cute waiter's house was any different than a stranger's?

at the sound of the swinging glass door from behind you, you turned your heel to face seokmin

but he was now dressed in his pajamas - an oversized graphic tshirt hanging from his shoulders and a pair of the fluffiest pants you've ever seen

"sorry it took so long, i didnt think you would call so soon so i needed to clean up a few things," he nervously chuckled

yet he was quick to offer his help with your things, mainly to avoid the awkward atmosphere that seemed to follow

after the small talk in the lift and eventually entering his home, you actually expected the decent cleanliness of his home

the decor was kept minimal yet sentimental but you did see some clothes trying to spill from beneath the couch

it didnt feel good to make him feel embarrassed after his rushed attempt so you swallowed your giggles

"the guest room is on the left and,, just make yourself feel at home. there's some drinks in the fridge and the toilet is across so if there's anything else you need, just knock my door," he reassured you before taking your duffle bag and placing it in your temporary room

although you had no idea how long you would stay over

a week at most?

oh boy were you wrong

the beginning of living with seokmin was filled with so much awkwardness

from seokmin catching a glimpse of you and your dripping hair while you came out of the toilet, to finding your undergarments in the washing machine

seokmin was nearly flustered 24/7 after finding your underwear and couldnt face you for 3 days straight

but things still progressed and the both of you began to be more comfortable among each other

seokmin cooking for you in the mornings before he started his shift while you repayed his kindness by cooking him dinner

soon the both of you could lay back on the couch together without having to nervously glance at the other or find a way to avoid the awkward silence

and by the time the both of you could be in a room without the tension, a whole week passed

and somehow finding a new apartment hadn't filled your mind during then

or maybe you were avoiding it because 1) you didnt have enough to pay for the deposit fee AND pay for rent after that and 2) with every day that passed, you felt more at home being seokmin's temporary roommate

And also because seokmin is getting so much cuter by the day

But when he asked you about your current search

And your left with having to stare at him with a blank face, your mouth gaping from the sudden unwanted question

Before you could come up with a lame excuse, seokmin reassured you that it was fine not to rush things 

“i like your company anyway, its better than coming home to an empty house and no food,” he chuckled

“but you can cook by yourself just fine, if not, even better than i could do,” you pointed out 

seokmin thinks for a moment but chooses to just shrug it off as he began cleaning up the dirty dishes in the sink

your chest doesnt feel as heavy with guilt, knowing that he didnt mind having you in his home

but how long will this last?

after an especially tiring day of work, back aching and eyes sore, you flop down onto the couch with a loud sigh

but you didnt expect seokmin to pop out from the hallway, thinking that he was still at the restaurant to clean up after his shift

“you sighed really loud i could hear you from my room,” he chuckled, attempting to lighten the tension as he entered the kitchen “something bothering you?”

you stared at the white ceiling as if it held some kind of magical power to relieve you from your exhaustion

“its just that i had to do a heck ton of work today plus that colleague i told you about was being a total asshat too,” you groan, thinking about the extra work you had to finish up which was in fact not yours

“want some instant noodles to cheer you up?” he spoke louder from the kitchen as you shouted back with a relieved ‘yes’

the two of you end up at the dining table, slurping on the noodles seokmin called the Power Up Set

“slow down yn! you’re gonna choke if you keep inhaling it like that,” he chuckled, with a wide grin on his face

“but its super good! and i might have skipped out on lunch,” you sheepishly confessed, knowing the worry-filled questions that were to come your way

“you’re gonna fall sick if you dont take care of yourself. i told you i could send you takeaway if you were too busy,” he nagged, forgetting his own ball of noodles

while you on the other hand gave all your attention to your now soup bowl

“dont make me remind you about the gastric pains you got from not eating breakfast with me,” he glared

“but seokmin,,,,” you groaned 

“what’s your mother going to say when i dont keep up to my promise of taking care of you?????”

and youre not sure why but a sudden choice of words even take yourself aback

“then i can just move out and find an apartment asap,” 

maybe it had always been lingering at the back of your mind, that your presence in his life was becoming a burden for him

but when you look back at him and its not his usual teasing smile

it felt like maybe he did really want you to move out

“im done with dinner, im going to sle-”

“you’re going to move already?”

sounded like he looked forward to it, you thought to yourself

“but then who’s going to watch the final season with me?”

wait what

“who’s going to help me cook dinner and give me the best hugs when the day is too tiring? who’s going to help me laze around when its cleaning day? i never thought i would ever have the time to admit this but i really like you, yn. and your presence here amplified it so much i have no idea what to do with mys-”

you cut him off by squishing his cheeks, for him to look right back at you so that you could check if seokmin was just trying to cheer you up

but roommates dont say that they like you to cheer you up, do they?

“are you going to slap me or kiss me i-”

“just hush already,” 

your lips collided with his, making your knees weak from the contact while he wrapped his arms around your waist

once the both of you pulled away, seokmin began laughing so loud out of happiness, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck

“so does that mean i can still laze around during cleaning day?”

“of course not, i was just trying to tempt you, you adorable dork,”

[ohalemalia]

Daily Dose - (Part 2) (S.M Imagine)

Pairing: Scott McCall x Reader

Warnings:  emeto (throwing up), i havent proof read this whoops

A\N: Thanks for being so patient with me. Family things came up but i really wanted to get this out so here we go, part twoooo. Debating on a title change

Word Count: 1974

Summary: What makes Scott McCall so damn interesting? And what’s he got up his sleeve?

Needless to say, against my will and better judgement, thoughts of Scott McCall bounced around my head for the longest time. I came to the realization (all by myself, not because I eavesdropped on his conversation with Nurse Melissa, of course) that Wednesdays he got out of school early and would be by around 1:30pm to drop lunch off for her.

There was absolutely no reason for me to be interested, but when I really thought about it, I think it was because he was the only fresh face in this bland hospital (and the fact that he brought his mom lunch every single week, like come on, it doesn’t get better than that). But for the record, I am not into him because that would be insane considering we’ve had one, well, half of just one conversation. I refuse to be a cliche character who falls in love with the first boy they see no matter how smooth their skin looks or how toss able their hair is that you can just run your fingers throu

NO.

NOPE.

Not even going there.

Besides, realistically speaking the only relationship that I would be in anytime in the foreseeable future is me and this hospital bed. The only action I would get would be

Never mind, I’m not going there either.

Anyway, in case you were wondering it’s 1:23pm on a Wednesday. Not that that has any significant meaning.

P.S. I Still Love You by Jenna Han was currently under my nose and although my eyes were skimming over the page, my brain was elsewhere. My room had a side view of the front desk, so if he was coming, I would know about it.

What was I even going to say? Was I going to say anything? Was he going to even come in here?

This was stupid. I was stupid. I was being stupid.

I tried to focus on Lara Jean, but out the corner of my eye there he was again.

He set a bag of food on the counter and smiled at the front lady at the desk as he spoke to her. She pointed somewhere. He nodded and took a seat in one of the plastic waiting chairs. He looked down at his phone, scrolled for a few moments and laughed at something on his screen. I craned my neck to get a better look at him. He was wearing yet another tight shirt, this time in an olive green color and a denim jacket over it. His motorcycle helmet was sitting on the chair next to him. He leaned back in the chair and spread his legs in that guy sit that guys always do. He scrolled. And he scrolled. And he kept scrolling.

“Oh my god, could you look up from your phone for just one second,” I muttered underneath my breath.

His head snapped up as if someone spoke to him. He looked around the waiting room until his eyes met mine through the glass. I nearly choked. He blinked and then furrows his eyebrows at me. I quickly looked down at my book, hoping that he would just look away. I gave it about thirty seconds before I looked up again, and to my surprise he had disappeared from the chair. My shoulders slumped. Oh well. I guess I’d see him next week.

The doorknob to my room clicked and the door slowly opened. I looked up and my heart damn near stopped right then and there. He was there, in my doorway, smiling that puppy dog smile at me.

“I figured you could use some company,” his eyes widened and his words blurred together as he rambled on, “Unless that’s totally not okay then I can just leave and I’m really sorry and you can totally forget that I was even here.”

“No, it’s, I,” I closed my eyes, trying to reset my brain and get it to form complete sentences, “Yes, you can come in.”

“Cool,” He came in and shut the door behind him. He looked over my room again, his eyes resting on the dead flowers on my side shelf.

“I would water them,” I started to explain, “But I’m just, you know, really busy…”

“Yeah I bet,” He walked over to the shelf and gestured toward the books, “Can I?”

“Um, yeah, go ahead.” I’d never had anyone else touch my books before, so I watched him very carefully.

“Wow,” he mumbled under his breath, “It’s like your own personal library.”

“I wish,” I sat up straighter on my bed, “At least at a library I can get new books, I’ve read all of these.”

His eyes widened again and he held up a book, “All of them?”

“At least three times.”

“Wow,” he mumbled under his breath, “So, what do you read?”

“At this point, anything.”

It was silent as he went through my books. I felt self conscious as I heard the turning of pages of my books ripple through the air. Did he think my book taste sucked? Did he think reading was lame anyway?

My mouth began to salivate but I wasn’t hungry for answers, I wanted food. Real food. Whatever was in the bag that he had set down on my counter.

“That smells really good,” I felt like I was in a trance, a servant to the delicious smells of Fatburger.

Scott looked over his shoulder at the bag, “That?” He set the book down and walked over to the bag. He opened it up and looked inside, “It’s a burger and some fries. I brought it for my mom, but I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t mind if you had a couple fries.”

“Oh, I think she’d mind a lot,” I laughed half heartedly. He looked at me as if he didn’t get the joke. Or as if it wasn’t funny. I think the latter.

“I really shouldn’t,” I made it sound like I was being modest and humble, but my body would probably expel that greasy mess as soon as I put it in.

“No seriously, it’s okay Y/N,” he chuckled, “Really.”

As tempting as it was, I grimaced, “I can’t. Really. But thank you.”

He frowned as he folded the bag up and put it back on the counter, “Can I ask you a kind of personal question?”

“I suppose so,” I tapped my chin, “If you don’t mind that I might get really offended and kick you out.”

“I just,” he pressed his lips together as if he were selecting the right words, “Do you ever get out of here?”

I pressed my lips together and shook my head.

“Ever?” He was incredulous, “Like, what about school?”

“I don’t mind missing that,” I laughed, “Trust me.”

“Well, where do you wanna go?”

I was all too prepared for this. There were countless hours of staring at blank white walls to compile a list of places I’d rather be. I reached toward my books, “Can you pass me The Little Prince? It’s the book with the--”

“‘Got it,” He held the book up and handed it to me. I opened it up to page 42 and slid the sheet of notebook paper out that was scrawled on with glitter gel pen.

Y/N’s List of Places to Be Other Than Here

(No offense Melissa if you see this)

1. A friend’s house

2. A sleepover

3. Disneyland

4. Birch Aquarium

5. Greece

6. Mexico

7. Italy

8. A park

9. Fatburger, or any place that sells real people food

10. In the arms of someone I love

11. Northern Lights in Iceland, Sweden, Canada or Norway

12. Paris

13. On a road trip with friends

14. A Diner

Scott read over my shoulder as I read the items on the list out loud.  I could feel my face burning up as I got to number ten. I had definitely written that in a moment of weakness and vulnerability and it doesn’t reflect who I am as a person, obviously. I am not some cheese ball. “It’s not finished,” I folded it up, “And some of them I obviously can’t actually do, so, it’s just a dumb list.”

“I don’t think it’s a dumb list,” Scott held his hand out, “Can I see it again?”

“I, um, well,” I sighed and placed the paper in his hand. He looked it over again, his brow knitting in concentration. He nodded, “Okay, yeah, no totally not a dumb list.”

“I’m glad it has your seal of approval,” I picked at a loose thread on my sheets, “But I think I’ll just--”

“Uh,” Scott looked at the door as if he heard something coming, “Shoot. I gotta go.”

“Oh? You do?”

“Yeah,” he whirled around the room, packing up his belongings, “I probably shouldn’t be here and I might’ve told the receptionist I was going to the bathroom.”

“Oh, yeah, you probably should...you should go…”

“Before my mom kills me,” He grinned, “But at least I’m in a hopsital, right?”

His face immediately paled, “I mean, well she can’t really, you know--”

“Scott?!”

I could hear Melissa calling Scott’s name from the hallway. By the sounds of it, it sounded like she very well might wrangle Scott’s neck.

“Gotta go,” Scott opened the door and began to slip out.

“Wait, Scott, you still have my--”

The door shut behind him. I sighed.

“...my list.”

---

The next couple of days were a haze for me. I had a pretty bad fever. All I remember is waking up at 4:12am and immediately emptying the contents of my stomach into a bed pan. Nurse Melissa was off that night and instead Nurse Rosa came in and took my temperature while another Nurse, probably an intern since I didn’t recognise him, wrote some stuff down. Nurse Rosa reported me having a fever of 102. I slipped in and out of consciousness after that. I really wish I had a better description for it but it honestly all just was a haze that I was mostly asleep for it. My body felt like huge sandbags strapped into my mattress. My skin was burning. The light was too bright for my eyes. I was miserable.

When I woke up, I would’ve been happy about the fact that I felt better if it wasn’t for the fact that it was Thursday evening. Scott had come and gone by now. I sighed and turned over on my bed to face my books. What I saw there improved my mood easily by fifty points.

There was a stack of new books on top of my book collection, all with yellow BEACON HILLS HS LIBRARY stickers on them. There was my flower vase, but  it had brand new totally not withered flowers in it. There was a note attached to the vase. I pulled it off and unfolded it to see some messy handwriting scrawled inside:

-Y/N

I asked my mom if it was ok to come visit since you dont get a lot of visitors and she said yeah (: I came by but the docs said it wasn’t a good time, i waited around as long as i could, i’ve been coming after school too but it’s still being pretty bad, i hope you feel better soon because i’m bringing you something on wednesday and i don’t want it to go bad before you get to it. check in your drawer all the way in the back on the right. hope you enjoy it (but if it’s going to make you sicker...probably don’t eat it. get better soon,

-Scott M..

I leaned over as far as I comfortably could and opened the drawer on the bedside table. My hand flew to my mouth as I gasped, tears welling up in my eyes.

I had never been happier to see a Fatburger bag in my life.

<< Previous | Next >>

[artificialqueens]

hollywoof hills [vet au] - chapter 3 - akita

A/N: this took a lot longer than expected, but hey, i got it done! i dont think any triggers apply really except one case of misgendering someone. theres a little bit of set up in this chapter for later events

It was a quiet day today. There weren’t many appointments booked, and all the calls so far had been to book things in later that week. The phone wasn’t even ringing much, and while you’d think that would be a nice thing for the two on reception, it was not. Since they didn’t have anything to do, they’d both been asked to sort the Pet Health Plan monthly flea treatments. It was a lot of checking info, labelling, and putting  things in packets. Farrah looked frustrated and restless, and Manila looked like she was ready to end it.

“Why can’t the nurses do this?” The pink haired girl mewled, “They all have to sign them off anyway.” “I know! We have other things to do.” “Like what?” Adore barked, having been sat at her desk, “I don’t see you handling any animals, or having to do a fuckload of paperwork.” “You wouldn’t have a ‘fuckload of paperwork’ if you filled it in when you got it,” Manila cockily returned, and yelped when a pen lid hit her neck, “Oi! Don’t throw things. I’ll tell on you.” “You’ll tell on me? Good luck, Jinkx loves me and Max can’t touch me.” “Go back to your paperwork, Delano.”

They fell into a quiet again, making small talk over the crinkle of plastic packets. Then, a moment of salvation - the door alarm rung as someone came through. It was Brutus, his saggy lips slobbering, and his bald belly swinging. For someone who’d had a major bowel op, he was looking pretty happy. “There’s our hedgehog eater!” Farrah cooed as she stood up, before glancing up at the person walking him. She didn’t recognise them at all, having only ever seen this dog with a middle aged woman, but she noticed that they were much prettier than the typical owner, and definitely younger. “What’re you looking at?” They said with a biting tone, though their face followed it with a smirk. “Sorry, I’ve only seen him with your… mum?” “Yeah, she made me bring him in today.”

There was a brief pause, Farrah still getting a grip on herself. They were quite cute, and though they were coming off a little brusque, she wanted to know more. However, she did need to do her job, and eventually asked, “Can you just put him on the scales?” “Why? He’s not gonna have lost weight since yesterday.” “I don’t know, but I’m told I have to ask anyone who comes in with a dog to get their weight.” After pulling a face, they put the canine up on the scales, calling over, “84.5 kilos, the fat fuck.” They affectionately pet his side, “What was he yesterday?” “He was 84.5 kilos.” She returned. “Told you.” “Take a seat, Miss Kween.” “Ew, don’t. Call me Aja.” With that, they wandered off to the chairs, large dog lumbering after.

When Farrah turned back to Manila, she caught her sniggering at her. Pulling a face, she tried to go back to sorting the flea treatment, but there was a fluster on her face, and she kept glimpsing up at the person sat on the chairs, pretty chilled out, fussing the dog and telling him how handsome and brave he was. When Jinkx came out to call them through into the consult, they greeted them pleasantly, like they knew each other. As soon as that door closed, the dark haired receptionist started on Farrah.

“Look at you getting all nervous!” “Fuck all the way off.” She was quick to snap, “So what? I didn’t expect to see anyone my age, or cute, this morning.” “You think they’re cute?” “I don’t not think that, leave me alone,” Whining, she threw one of the empty flea treatment boxes at her. “Why is everyone chucking things at me?” “We wouldn’t if you weren’t annoying,” Adore chimed, getting up to join Jinkx in the consult, realising she was meant to follow. Once she was gone, Farrah mumbled, “Even if I do think sh-” “They.” “-They’re cute, they’re a client, I’m not really gonna get a chance.” “You never know.” She smirked, “We’ll see what happens when they come back out.”

-

Max was a very polite woman. Politeness was something she’d prided herself on, particularly in this line of work, where you sometimes did have difficult clients. This pre-op check, however, was testing her a little bit. The cat was fine, it was a young male, 5 months old, in for a castrate. He was the right weight for the operation, so that wasn’t an issue. He was looking healthy and happy - or at least, as happy as a Persian could look. In fact, he would be the perfect pet to operate on, until she noticed that in his fur, there was some cat food.

It was necessary to ask anyway, though it was now a lot more important to do it. “Has he had any breakfast?” “I had to give him something, he kept meowing for food.” “So he has eaten this morning?” “Yes.” The owner seemed a little irate at the questioning. Max took a deep breath, trying not to show the annoyance she felt, “Unfortunately, we won’t be able to operate today. When you booked him in, you were informed that he must have food withdrawn the night before, at 8pm.” “But I can’t just not feed him! It’s cruel!”

For a moment, she considered getting someone else into the room. She considered seeing if Jinkx was free, because they were a more seasoned vet, and they must have dealt with this before. But Max couldn’t always go running for help, and after a moment’s consideration, she re-explained the exact risks she’d listed for the owner three days ago when the cat was booked in. “The anaesthetic can make the cat feel poorly, and it can make them vomit. Because of that, we need them to come in on an empty stomach so that they don’t vomit while unconscious on the table, as they can then end up choking, and in many cases, it can kill them. We can rebook you in for later this week, but please, you must not feed him after 8pm the night before the operation.” “Fine. I better not have to pay for this waste of time appointment.” “The pre-op check is free.” Putting the cat back in the basket, she saw the owner off. Milk quickly slipped into the room, saying a quick goodbye to the client.

As soon as the door was shut, Max pulled a face in the direction of where the owner exited. Perhaps it was immature, but it got a light laugh from her nurse, who sprayed down the table and scales with disinfectant. It wasn’t much, but it saved the vet the hassle of wiping things down before another appointment. “The dog for its dental’s here, you want me to start setting up in prep for him?” “I’d say yes but I don’t know yet if his owner knows how to follow instructions.” “I’ll do it anyway,” Milk laughed, “Try not to get too stressed out, if anything, it gives us essentially a free break to catch up on stuff.”

-

Not long after the cat went, and the dog came through, Aja left the consult room, slobbering Brutus lumbering behind them, elizabethan collar clanging loudly on the doorframe on the way out to reception. He was healing well, and they’d been instructed to just keep a close eye on him, and to bring him back again the next day. As they came up to book in again, Farrah near scurried out from the vet’s desk area, where she’d been meaninglessly flipping through worming packets, trying to actually manifest some confidence.

“How’s he doing?” She cooed, sitting in her chair and leaning forward on the wood. “Well, his insides are still in him, so that’s good. And he’s not too inflamed around them or anything. They said I’ve gotta bring him back tomorrow?” “Of course,” she opened to book an appointment, “Is 9.40 tomorrow okay?” “Should be fine, yeah.” After a pause, punctuated by taking one of the business cards, they asked, “You working tomorrow?” “Yeah - Monday, Wednesday, Thursday are my days.” “Guess I’ll see you in the morning then.” With a smirk, Aja waved with their free hand as they headed outside.

When they’d walked out, Farrah turned toward Manila with an incredulous expression. She didn’t want to be getting her hopes up, but there was something promising about the way they asked about her shifts. It could have been just pleasant conversation, but that wasn’t what she wanted it to be. There wasn’t much time for chatting about it though, as the phones were quick to provide an interruption. The black haired receptionist picked up, leaving the other to turn to speak with a bored Adore, who was now on the couch, cuddling a dozy Major.

“Did you finish the paperwork?” “Fuck no,” She snorted, “I have to get Jinkx to double check like all of it as well.” “How much you got left?” “Not a lot but it’s all stuff to be signed off. I’ve filed a few things away though.” “You’ve only got 2 appointments and they’re both after 5, so you have to go clean the groomer’s room out.” She grinned as soon as the woman groaned. “How many appointments Jinkx got?” Moving off the couch, she looked over Farrah’s chair, chin resting on the back of it, “Oh they’ve got like a free morning. They’re helping me now then.”

-

This room was full of just any old garbage. There were rusted dog crates, a broken cat basket, half a broken computer chair, a fold away table  that was for some reason not folded away, and several boxes and bags of decorations. A couple of boxes in the corner, it turned out much to Jinkx’s delight, was full of leashes and collars, clearly put here as spares, which were quite needed. They had a couple of slip leads on the hangers by prep, but they were worn through, and several of them had just disappeared.

Adore was currently focused on the unopened packages with ‘VET BED’ scrawled over them in scruffy writing. This room had clearly been meant for storing things they needed, but most of it had gotten completely forgotten about. Opening the box, it was full of the soft wooly bedding, which she decided she would suggest to Chad to use in replacement of the old, overwashed strips of it they were using. There was a lot of the new stuff, so much so that she checked it was from their own order, and not for the groomer. It was delivered a year ago.

“There’s a lot of good stuff in here,” Jinkx mused, “but there’s also a whole lot of… junk?” “You’re free for ages, and Max just has one op, should we take some of this shit out to the dump?” “Why not? It’ll probably take until lunch, so I guess it’s McDonalds today.” “Fuck yeah! We offering to anyone else to pitch in for it or are we just getting it for us?” “I’ll go ask them now, you start moving stuff nearer the door so we can get it out quicker.”

As Jinkx left, she focused quite intently on rearranging the room. This wasn’t Adore’s favourite type of job, tidying up was boring and exhausting and she’d rather be doing something more productive, but the promise of food was good incentive. Plus, she absolutely loved going in the car with Jinkx, as silly as it sounded, because it was always fun. Even if they were going on the worst home visit, the car ride was light and entertaining. Dragging the broken chair to be beside the door, she hoped this wouldn’t take too long, now excited to get out. When Jinkx was back, they helped drag everything toward the door. Once they’d sorted what was going in the tip, they encouraged Adore to help load the car.

-

Sat on the floor in front of one of the kennels, Max was doing the fun job of hand feeding a dog wet food. She’d been warned by the owner that he would wolf it down, so to try and prevent him from aspirating it, she elected not to just leave a bowl of food in his crate, as was the usual protocol. Originally, she’d offered it on a spoon, but he was clanking his gums off it and whining, so the best option was feeding him by hand. Sure, she had a rubber glove on, but she didn’t find it any less disgusting. Milk slumped down beside her, greeting the greedy yorkie with a polite hello.

“For someone whose hands have been inside of animals, you’d think I could manage this without feeling ill.” “Well, animal insides aren’t usually cold.” Nudging her elbow, she offered, “I’ll feed him, if you want.” “No, it’s fine, I’m getting used to it.” Max smiled a little towards her, before focusing again on the dog. After a pause, Milk asked, “How long you been working here? 4 months now?” “I think so, it’s gone by fast…” “Chad was really proud of you, you know. You’ve come on quick for someone so new.” “It wasn’t really a choice, I couldn’t be bad at it, or I’d be out of a job.” “Take the secondhand compliment.”

When the dog was fed, they both decided to hang around the in the room, mostly to make sure the little canine kept his food down. Max had brought her laptop in, and was sat at the prep table, making notes on the yorkie’s file. Milk was now restocking the syringe cupboard, having noticed when prepping the pup that they were running low of 1mls.

“We aren’t shifted for tomorrow, right?” “We never work thursdays, but we have to come in at lunch for a meeting.” “That’s enough time to recover - you want to go out for drinks tonight?” Max raised a brow, “I suppose, who else is going?” “Adore, Farrah, some girls I know from outside of here.” “Alright, sure.”

-

At closing up time, everyone was more than ready to go. Adore had hurt her wrist in moving things out of the car, but had got by her day alright, and was still planning on going on the night out. There was a stray dog handed in, which was reunited last minute, and the owner was kind enough to put a donation in the Guide Dogs box. Farrah was making her last Pet Health Plan call for the day, and when the phone clicked down into place, she cried a loud hurrah, pushing away from the desk to go and pet Major.

“Your turn to cash up tonight ‘Nila!” The door swung open, and in walked Raja. With a snidy tone, Manila turned to the girl on the couch, “Joke’s on you, my ride’s here.” “Didn’t realise I was your Uber driver now, as well as your personal shopper and all around slave.” “You knew what you were getting into when you asked me to get with you, that’s all I’m saying.”

As she gathered her bag and coat, she pointed to the til, “I cleared it with Chad that I could leave early, so this is actually your problem now. See you tomorrow at 12!” When Manila and her partner left, Farrah flipped her off, returning to the desk, but calling the dog with her. If she was going to have to tediously count money, she was having a canine friend to help her. She would have asked Adore, but she was even worse at getting the cashing up done. Knowing she’d be having a miserable time, and done writing up their notes, Jinkx came to sit with her.

“You count the notes, I’ll count the change.” “Thanks Jinkxy!” Now that the ginger was here, the dog had abandoned her to sit by his owner. With the two of them doing the job, it was a lot quicker, and it also meant she didn’t have to wait around for someone to sign off on the amount. “So, I seen you talking to Aja, do you know them?” “No, I’d only seen their mum here. Do you know them?” “They come to the group I run in the art centre, they’ve been coming for about a year.” “Really?” Farrah tilted her head, “What’re they like?” “When they let down the front, they’re sweet. But they like to come off… I wouldn’t say tough, but you get what I mean?” Nodding, Farrah closed the envelope, signing it, and pushing it over to Jinkx, who did the same. It was then put in the locked draw.

“What night does your group run again?” “It’s on Fridays, from 8pm to 10pm, and also Saturday, from 4pm til 8pm.” The group Jinkx hosted in the art centre was an LGBTQ+ support group, mostly for people to make friends, and get advice. They also hosted fundraisers from time to time, and it was something they’d become proud of. It had been running for 6 years now, and they’d been running it since the start. “I might start coming again.” Farrah used to go; that was a leading factor in her getting this job. She’d met Jinkx there 3 years ago, and attended the group for a year. In that time, she’d lost her original job, and they let her know almost as soon as they found out that there was a vacancy for a receptionist position. She’d been here ever since. She only stopped going to the group when she’d started a night class.

When everyone was ready to leave, all having changed into their non-work clothes, the going out girls converged into a group outside as Farrah locked up. A sweet routine that had started was that before Jinkx put him into the car, Major would go around to everyone who’d finished so he could get a fuss before he left. As Jinkx drove away, they would wave out the window, and Major would jump up at the the back seat windows, looking out with a dropped jaw and a happy face. Once the vet’s car out of sight, the girls hit the pub.  

[starlight-parkers]

Like Him (Peter Maximoff x Reader) (Run Out On Me PT 2)

Summary: Peter regrets everything and you dont feel a thing.

Authors Note: Hello angels! I’m sorry for not posting recently, I’ve had a lot on my plate during the past month or so BUT I’m back for now. Anyways here’s the highly requested Run Out On Me Part 2! Enjoy <3

Warming(s): Swearing and angst.

Like Him

You remember crying that night, to the point where you had no tears and your throat was dry from all the sobs you'd let out. You didn't dare move from where you were, scared that if you returned to your bedroom, you would break down all over again.  So you stayed seated on the floor of your once shared living room, watching a re-run of friends and running through all the possible scenarios of what could have been your future.

If you were scared before, you sure as hell were now. The thought of raising a child on your own scared you, especially with how unpredictable your mutation was and how it was more than likely that your child would end up with one too. You knew absolutely nothing about parenting , let alone looking after a newborn since you'd never had any younger siblings to help care for.

You had no clue what to do with yourself that night, so you just slept. The next day you'd called up your good friend Jean Grey, who you knew from the X-mansion and told her everything. Of course you'd ended up breaking into tears again, but you were happy to know that someone supported you and was ecstatic  for you. You remember laughing as Scott threatened to hunt Peter down and beat him up, but you didn't care for him. Not anymore. You were also lucky enough to have a secure job teaching along side Charles Xavier, so you knew you were supported in that department too.  

Over the course of your pregnancy Jean helped set up necessary appointments and often tagged along with you if you were feeling nervous, you couldn't ask for a better friend. Jubilee organised your baby shower at the X-mansion where the gender of your baby was revealed, you were delighted to be reunited with your friends from school as well as your old teachers.  You were practically glowing that day, and even cried due to the overwhelming support you had gotten from everyone.

Practically the whole X-men team had been with you for the delivery of your baby, and you'd never felt so grateful for anyone in your whole life. They were like a family to you and you'd finally gotten that sense of security back.

So here you were, almost four years down the line with a beautiful baby girl. She was your everything and you couldn't be more content with your lives at the moment.

A wail from the living room brought you out of your reverie, your head whipped over to the little girl who was playing on the floor in front of the TV. You put down the knife you were using to chop some vegetables and made your way into the living room. There you saw your little girl, eyes watery with tears.

"Hiya baby" you cooed to the silver haired girl. You swear she was the spitting image of Peter. It was like a curse. Every time you looked at her you felt an overwhelming sense of anger that couldn't replace the love you shared with Peter. This little girl had been brought into the world because of the love you'd once shared. A constant reminder of what could have been. "What's the matter angel?"

The little girl looked up at you, reaching out for what you could only assume, was a hug. Grinning, you leaned down to pick up your baby before balancing her on your hip. "I'm hungry mama" she whined, looking up at you with those big doe eyes.

You rolled your eyes and sighed, weaving through the various toys scattered around, in order to get back to the kitchen. "But Amara, baby, dinner's almost ready" you chided "Can't you wait a little bit longer babygirl?"

Once in the kitchen, you seated your daughter in her chair and placed some paper and crayons in front of her. She pouted before stubbornly getting to work on her drawing. "No mama! I'm hungry now!"

You looked back at her from your place at the stove, a knowing look gracing your features. You opened your snack draw (which you usually kept locked because Amara was a sneaky little thing) and pulled out a Twinkie, she was obsessed with them, just like her father. "Alright baby" you cooed, your back still to the little girl "You can have one but you have to promise to eat all of your dinner alri-"

You gasped, dropping the snack as you turned to face your daughter. Her eyes were glazed over with a silver light. Amara's mouth hung open, it too with a glimmering light. Her hair was floating behind her, along with the objects in her orbit. You quickly went to reach for her, but within an instant, it stopped.  

"Mama"

"Yes baby? Are you ok-?"

"Are we going to the x-mansion soon?" She asked, calmly returning to her colouring. Your brows furrowed, wondering if she was okay.

"No baby I didn't plan on it. Why?" You questioned frantically, coming to crouch down by her chair. You brushed some hair out of her supple face as she worked.

"I saw you-us and Mr Xavier" she babbled, smiling to herself. "He was doing test thingies. You thought I had a mutation, what's a mutation? I thought it was just a memory but then I realised I've never been before"

You sat back on your knees as she continued her babbling, your hand forming a firm grip on the edge of the table. You looked down at the floor, realising that this was it. This was your daughter's mutation. You quickly pulled yourself together, running to the counter and grabbing your phone. Swiftly, you turned around, running a hand through your tangled hair as you dialled a number.

It rang once.

Twice.

Three times.

All the while you observed your  daughter, who was minding her own business as if nothing happened. "Hello?"

"Jean how fast can you get here?"

"Why? What's wrong?"

"I think Amara's found her mutation"

You twiddled your thumbs nervously as you walked beside Charles. Hank had just ran some tests on your three -nearly four- year old daughter. You let out a shaky breath, as you followed the man to the lab. When Amara was just a baby, you prayed that she wouldn't get a mutation. You didn't want her to grow up, feeling the same way Peter did, especially if they were going to be similar.

"Don't be worried (Y/N)" Charles reassured you, disrupting your chaotic thoughts. You felt your mind come to a stop at the sound of Charles' voice in your head. "We'll know what to do"

Silently, you nodded your head as the pair of you made your way through the lab doors. Desperately, you wanted to flick your wrists and slow down time - just for a second - so you could withhold the moment you found out if your daughter had a mutation or not. Yet, the suspense was killing you, you wanted to know.

"Hello (Y/N)!" Hank chirped as he met yourself and Charles at the entrance of the lab. You gave him a sheepish smile as you twiddled with your fingers nervously. "I haven't seen you in a while! How's things?"

"Everything is going well" you breathed out shakily. "Amara's growing up nicely."

Hank smiled sadly, shaking his head at your nervousness. "I know, but my question was directed at you"

Before you could respond, Hank had turned to face a computer. You looked down at Charles, who also had the same look of sadness etched onto his features before he wheeled his way over to her h the computer. You furrowed your brows. Why were the worrying about you?  You were just concerned for your daughter. Livid, you marched over to Hank and pulled on his shoulder. "What are the results Hank? That's what I'm here for"

"Be calm (Y/N), everything will be fine" Charles assured you. You softly bit your lip and dropped your hand to your side. Silently, you made your way over to a nearby desk and took a seat on its surface, desperately trying to calm your nerves.  Hank tapped away at a few keys before the results appeared on the screen, you heard a faint gasp and instantaneously looked up.

"What? What's wrong?"

You saw the look of concern the two men shared, before standing up and crossing your arms over your chest. Hank looked up at the results briefly before meeting your nervous gaze, he clicked away for a second before showing the results to you. "Your daughter" he began anxiously. "has a mutation-"

"As if that wasn't obvious enough" you snapped as Charles put a hand on your arm reassuringly.

"A rare mutation" Hank continued, his eyes piercing through yours. "Your daughter, Amara, has the ability to see the near future in short bursts. It's a result of a  combination of yours and Peter's mutations. Linking time and speed has allowed your daughter see briefly into anyone's future"

You gasped, feeling weak in the knees. You fell back against the table, holding onto it for support. Hank rushed over to you, placing a soft hand your back and checking you over to see if you were okay. Your body shook, you were angry at yourself for letting this happen, you were angry at Peter for leaving you when he did. You kept your head down as Charles spoke up.

"Only few mutants have received these abilities before, so we know very little about this mutation but I can promise you that we can help your daughter as soon as you're ready for us to. We know that being able to see every possible outcome for everyone's future can be overwhelming and we will do our best to help Amara" Charles spoke carefully, afraid to scare or overwhelm you. All the while you listened silently, weighing out all possible options in your head. Would Amara fit in here? Is she too young?

"You don't have to make up your mind now, (Y/N)" Charles whispered, comfortingly. "She's still  young, we can give it a few years"

You nodded silently, thanking the two pen for their time before making your way out the lab to find your daughter. You still had time to talk to her about this, you still had time to give her a better life than Peter's.

Peter grinned down at the little girl who'd latched herself onto his leg. She was cute. She had a small button nose, her pale silver locks were combed back into a fishtail braid. She had large doe (eye colour) eyes  that stood out against her supple skin.

He'd learned her name to be Amara, she was three and a half years old. How the girl came to be in Peter's care was quite miraculous. He'd been speeding down the hallway after a long mission (as you would after being extremely exhausted), a little girl had ran out into his path causing him to veer to the right and crash. She laughed at him.

Peter couldn't help but feel a sense of familiarity as he held the little girl, gently tossing her up and down in the air, watching her laugh with a toothy smile. She was missing her two front teeth and had these warm (eye colour) eyes that he swore he knew like the back of his hands.  It was like he knew them, knew her.

The little girl - or better yet - Amara clapped her tiny hands together as Peter threw her up one last time before catching her and resting her on his hip. She grinned at him as he crossed his brown eyes and stuck his tongue out at her. "You're funny" Amara giggled again, reminding Peter of a certain someone. "Just like my mummy"

"Well your mama must be a comedian 'cause I'm s'posed to be the funniest guy around" Peter teased playfully, boooing the little girl's nose. She shook her head slyly.

"Nuh-uh my Mummy's the funniest" Amara argued.

"Is not"

"Is too"

"Is not"

"Is too"

"Is no-!"

"Amara!" A worried voice cut through the conversation and the little girl jumped out of Peter's arms, she quickly ran over to the doorway of the common room she and Peter had been playing in before rushing into someone's arms. "There you are baby! I was so worried! Kurt said he'd be watching you and-"

"S’okay mama! Peter was watching me!"

Peter's eyes snapped up to meet the gaze of someone he thought he'd never see again. He could see how her worried expression had twisted and contorted into one of anger and bewilderment. She still looked the same, only better. Her hair was longer, thicker - Peter took note of that. Her curves were more enticing and enunciated than before. Her eyes shone and were brighter than the day Peter had left her. She looked so much better without him, Peter had decided.

"Peter" he hated how his name dripped, oh-so venomously from (Y/N)'s soft pink lips. The pair of adults stood opposite each other, it was like a stand off. Amara looked between the two, slightly confused whilst hugging her mum's legs tightly.

"(Y/N)... H-how've you been?" The silver haired male stuttered, afraid of what his ex-fiancé would say. She tsked in response, looking down and shaking her head.

"Better without you"

The speedster looked down, regret filling his veins, pumping  round his body and flowing back to his heart. He looked at the little girl who stood behind her mother's legs with a shy smile. He felt stupid for not noticing it before, he had his suspicions but-

"Is she mine?" The question tumbled out of his lips before he could stop it. He watched as the anger engulfed her body, she shook with rage but he could see the hurt swirling in (Y/N)'s softened (eye colour) hues.

"What do you mean? - of course she's yours- I never" (Y/N) paused, begging, willing herself not to cry. Her whole body shook as the fire of rage took over her. "I never cheated on you, Peter. It was you who left me, remember? And what does it matter to you?"

Peter frowned. "I want to be there for her, (Y/N)" he gestured to Amara. " I want to be in her life"

That was it, the final straw. If (Y/N) was angry before, she sure was livid now. Amara could feel the rage radiating off of her mother's body, the young mutant tugged at her mother's sleeve, a silent plea for her to calm down but at this point Peter had gone too far.

"Amara go wait outside, baby" the young mother started, clenching her fists.

"But mama, I-" the little girl begun, looking up at her mother.

"Outside...now"

The two adults watched as the girl backed out of the room, most likely to go look for Jean or Kurt. (Y/N)'s gaze slowly crept back to meet Peter's, a whirlwind of emotions taking over her. "Fuck you Peter"

His brows furrowed. "What?"

"Fuck. You" (Y/N) spat. "You don't have the right, you don't get to do this anymore. When will you get it through your thick head that, you. left. me. You made the conscious decision to leave me, knowing I was pregnant and now you want to come back? I don't think so"

"I raised her, all by myself for three and a half years, and you think I'll let you waltz back into my life, her life without a fuss? I'm not a push over anymore Peter, I'm not someone you can take advantage of." (Y/N) let her eyes fall shut as she felt the tears well in her eyes. She clenched and unclenched her fists as her gaze fell on Peter's. She wanted nothing more in that moment for Peter to fall at her feet and beg her to take him back, she wanted him to apologise, show his emotion, let her in. For once. She knew what she was doing was selfish but she was doing  what was best for a her daughter. Or was it so that she didn't get hurt? She started at the man she once loved expectantly, the tears threatening to spill over her eyelids.

"Don't you think she'll need a father figure" the fast-moving mutant defended quietly, looking at (Y/N) with sorrow-filled eyes.

She was crying now, god how he hated to see her cry. The tears streamed down her cheeks like a salty river. Her slightly hopeful expression faded, and Peter winced as a cold hearted glare graced her features. "You decided that you weren't going to be a father when you left us ,Peter"

Peter watched as his only love called back his daughter to pack up her things. The small mutant grabbed her backpack and tucked away her toys, once she was done she gave Peter a sad smile and a soft kiss on the cheek before running out to meet Jean in the hallway. (Y/N) checked the room over to make sure her daughter hadn't left anything. She turned to leave, before she changed her mind and glanced back at a crestfallen Peter Maximoff.

"I wish I could say you were different from him, Peter" (Y/N) whispered softly, a sad tone evident in her voice. "Your father I mean, when in truth... you're exactly like him’’

And with that, she turned away and walked out of the room, out of Peter's life... just as he had done to her.

Authtors note: HAHAHA SORRY TO THE PERSON WHO ASKED FOR A FLUFFY ENDING

Tag list: @babyhollands @miss-nerdalots  

PLEASSE LET ME KNOW IF I FORGOT ANYONE XX

[ballardv45-blog]

It's Complicated - Chapter One

You see people smiling everyday. If you're walking down the street, at the store, in your own home, people are smiling. Have you ever wondered though how many of those smiles were fake? Pretending to be happy is probably the easiest thing any of us can do. That is, if you're strong enough. We all want a perfect life and about only 3% of us actually get it. Unfortunately, I am not apart of that percentage. Not yet at least. I grew up in a toxic household. I don't want to get into to much detail but let's just say that my past has made me into the person that I am now. Don't worry, it's a good change. After I graduated college I moved to Los Angeles with my four best friends. Each one of us is different than the other, which is good. That's what makes us feel like family. Tomorrow, I start my new job as a co journalist for a fashion magazine company, The LA Fashion. Since I was a little girl I've always wanted to do something in fashion world. I had a collection of many different magazines and just fell in love. I taught myself how to make clothes and shop for cute clothes, on a budget of course. It was definitely a good distraction from everything else in life. "Knock knock!" Jarred walks in my room holding a coffee. "I checked out the cafe down the street this morning and bought you a salted caramel mocha for your first day." "You're the best." I smile taking a sip. "Wow! Look at you!" "Is it to much!?" I panic looking in the mirror. "Definitely not! You're gonna make one hell of an impression on everyone. They'll probably promote you as soon as you walk in those doors." "Okay, that's a little dramatic Jarred but thank you." I laugh. "Where's Matt?" "He's sleeping off his hangover." Jarred rolls his eyes. "Another hangover? He is gonna make himself sick to death if he keeps getting drunk at work." "He just gets stage fright easily if he's sober. I know I shouldn't be making any excuses but I know he's not stupid when he's drunk. I'm not mad or worried."

"Well good. I hate it when you two fight. Anyway, I gotta start heading to work. Don't wanna be late." I grab my purse and kissed his cheek as I walked out of our apartment. Living in Los Angeles takes awhile to get used to. Especially if you didn't grow up as a city girl. I grew up in Indiana. I was surrounded by cornfields and my next door neighbor was a farmer with many, many, many... animals. Now all that surrounds me are tall buildings, busy traffic, crowded sidewalks, and our next door neighbor directs porn for a living. Yeah, try getting a full 8 hours asleep living next to a porn director. I gotta admit though, this city can really change a person. I finally pulled up to my new work and sat in the car for a minute. My stomach starts to get butterflies as I start to feel nervous. I got to get it together. I can't make one bad impression ever. I don't want to lose this opportunity. I took a deep breath, grabbed my purse, and walked into the doors. I walked up to the front desk and saw the lady talking on the phone. "Excuse me?" I say. She holds her hand up and continues talking on the phone. Well, more like arguing on the phone. She ends the conversation and slams the phone down. "Oh god! I am so sorry about that. People can't seem to understand how to do their own job. What can I do for you?" She had a thick Jersey accent. "Uh, yeah. I'm Marina Smith. The new co- journalist?" "You're the new girl? Sweetie with your taste in fashion I would've assumed you were the new editor in chief!" "Thank you." I laugh. "Follow me. I will show you to your office."

"My office?" My eyes went big and I began to get excited. I was in awe with this place already. The people, the clothes, the models, the entire decor of the building! It's like I'm in my own fairytale or something. "Okay so right here is your very own office. It's not very big but if you keep making a good impression here you will get upgraded to a new one. You have a meeting with the boss in about 10 minutes so get yourself settled. Here are the keys to your desk. Welcome to LA Fashion Magazine, Marina." She says with a smile. I opened the door to my office and smiled big. This definitely feels real now. I set my bag down and quickly made my way to the phone. I dialed my other roommate, Anna, hoping she would pick up. "Hey, I was just thinking about calling you!" She answers. "I have my own office. My own office! The people are so unique and different, the clothes are beautiful, the walls are different colors-" "Marina! Take a breath." She laughs. "Sounds like you're more than happy with your new career then." "Honestly, I don't think anything can go wrong here." I twirl in my chair. "Well I am happy for you, M. I gotta get going. I have files that need to be organized. See you at home?" "Yeah. See ya!" I hung up the phone and leaned back into my chair. A knock came at the door and I quickly got up to answer. "Ms. Smith? I wanted to introduce myself. I'm your assistant, Liz." She softly speaks. She was older and had a really innocent feel to her. "Nice to meet you, Liz!" I smile shaking her hand.

"I am actually supposed to show you to the conference room. The meeting is going to start in 2 minutes." "Oh alright. Thank you." When we got to the conference room, I walked in and everyone was talking to each other and were distracted by other things. I felt like the new kid in high school walking into their first class. Liz showed me to my seat and gave me a notebook and pen before walking away. The door opens, and everyone went silent. I looked over and noticed a tall, very well clean styled, serious woman walk into the room. "That's our editor in chief, Dorothy Castellano." The man next to me whispers. "She seems very intimidating." I say. "Oh you have no idea." He groans. "I'm Nate." "Marina." "I'm glad we got a new person finally. It's about time we had a fresh, beautiful face around here." I blush trying to hide it. Suddenly, we all here the sound of paper ripping. Dorothy was ripping the front cover of their latest magazine. She crumbled it up and threw it at a random co-worker.

"As you all know, Chic magazine has beat us once again with their spring issue. Would anyone like to tell me why?" She says tapping her fake nails on the table. Nobody answers. "Are we trying to let this magazine company become total shit?" She asks sternly. "Because to me it feels like some of us are becoming lazy. Not focused or brainstorming. Come on people! Is it so hard to at least act like professionals here?" Like I said, she is intimidating. In a Cruella De Vil type of way. "We are going to be styling and interviewing some very well known celebrities for a movie premiere this weekend. We have to get it together people!" "What movie premiere is it?" Nate asked. "A new comedy coming up. 'A Million Ways to Die in the West' starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, and many other important actors who need to look and feel their very best." Holy shit! Seth MacFarlane and Charlize Theron? I knew this magazine company was good but we are having A-List celebrities in our next issue? "I have assigned Julie and Nate to interview-" "Dorothy, Julie quit yesterday." Her assistant interrupts. "What?!" She snaps causing everyone to jump. She began to whisper with her assistant for a minute before continuing. "Well since nobody thought of telling me this unexpected news, somebody needs to replace Julie's spot." "I'll do it." One woman volunteered. "Sharon do I have to remember the last time I assigned you to an event?" Dorothy warns making the whole room chuckle. "Is there anyone else?" Okay, time to make a bold move on the first day. "I can do it." Everyone looked directly at me, including Dorothy. "Who are you?" "Marina Smith. I'm the new co-editor?" She began walking slowly over to me. I felt my palms begin to sweat a little. "Marina, could you stand for me?" She asks. I stand out of the chair and stood up straight. She put her glasses on and circled around me. Is this going to be a good or bad thing? "Tell me, who are you wearing? I have never seen this dress anywhere." "Actually, I made this dress." Her eyes went wide at me in shock. "Really?" I nod as she examines the dress one last time. "Travis, put her in Julie's spot. We'll discuss details later." She looks back at me and smiles. "Welcome, Ms. Smith." I smile big as I try to keep everything in control. Did that really just happen?!

-------

And finally, chapter one has arrived! Haha. I apologize that Seth hasn't come into the story yet but dont worry he will be in the next chapter. I wanted to use this chapter to introduce Marina and her life. I hope you guys like it and please let me know what you think! Xoxo ❤️

[themoneybuff-blog]

A Loan Won't Solve Your Money Woes If You Don't Fix These 10 Issues First

Sometimes even the best-prepared households get knocked sideways, financially speaking. Illness, unemployment, divorce, a car accident that triggers a lawsuit these and other situations can quickly put a hurt on the budget. In such times a personal loan or one of several types of home equity loans can provide a little breathing room until you rebuild your finances. As noted, money woes are sometimes the result of plain old bad luck (illness, job loss). However, sometimes were our own worst enemies: We buy too much, we save too little, we plan not at all. You cant get ahead that way. And you cant keep borrowing your way out of trouble. A loan wont help you unless you fix the following issues. 1. Not having a budget The simplest way to wind up in debt is to spend without thinking. Stop, then, and think for a moment about what you would like to have happen five years from now: buying a home, starting a business, getting married, traveling? When you create a budget, youre not just allocating your dollars youre enabling your dreams. An easy way to do it is the 50/30/20 budget: Spend no more than 50% of your take-home pay on essentials, 30% on wants, and 20% on saving (including retirement planning and an emergency fund). Plenty of budgeting apps exist as well (some are even free). 2. Not tracking spending You cant plug budget leaks unless you know where they are. Track your spending for a month, using pen and paper or a budgeting app. The cumulative effect could be eye-opening. For example, a relatives ex-husband was shocked shocked! to realize that spending $8 a day on fast food added up to $240 a month. His wife had made more money than he did, and their commingled finances made it easy for him to swipe a card and think no more of it. Heres hoping that your own habits arent quite that clueless. But even those of us who think were doing pretty well could be surprised by the cumulative impact of certain habits: beef jerky and a soda every time we pay for gasoline, daily iTunes downloads, $20 a week on scratch tickets. Add up the opportunity cost of those non-essentials, and ask yourself if you could do better. (Spoiler alert: You probably can.) 3. Keeping up with the Joneses Just because next-door neighbor bought the priciest riding mower on the market doesnt mean you have to ditch your trusty Snapper. When your coworker talks about all the activities her kid participates in, you dont have to sign your own tots up for horseback riding and soccer camp. You should not let other people determine your clothing, dcor, automobile, or anything else. Its no ones business that you bought a fixer-upper, that you drive your car until the wheels fall off, that your idea of nightlife is to read a new library book once the kids are in bed. Remember: The Joneses may be up to their hairlines in debt. They might be focused on keeping up, too with the minimum payments, that is. 4. Wanting your kids to have things you didnt Theres nothing wrong with this! Except when there is. Obviously you want your children to be well-fed, reasonably well-dressed, and housed comfortably. You might also want to give them treats and opportunities you never had, such as vacation trips, a big allowance, loads of extracurricular activities, and fully funded education plans. But dont let this noble impulse bust your budget. Just because your kid wants snowboarding lessons, a new smartphone every year, and a car of their own at age 16 doesnt mean you have to give these things. Staying out of debt and funding your retirement should take precedence over granting every whim. At the very least they should have some skin in the game: doing additional chores to help save up for a big-ticket item, say, or mowing lawns or babysitting for extra pocket money. Besides, we arent doing our kids any favors when we give them everything they want. Setting the bar too high now could mean setting them up for problems later on. Specifically, when they move out on their own theyll want to keep living in the style to which we have accustomed them and if their salaries dont allow for that, theyll wind up in debt. 5. Automatic upgrades Whats wrong with your old smartphone or car or whatever? If you bought it relatively recently and it still works, whats with the rush to replace? If you get the newest phone as soon as it comes out, or trade in your vehicle every few years, or replace anything else before it really needs replacing, ask yourself why. Because your co-workers do? Because some commercial made you want a new car? Because you dont know why, but you really, really want to anyway? Think about the opportunity cost of that cash. Then think about the way you want to live, and whether or not you want other people making decisions about your money. 6. Shopping mindlessly If you dont need anything, stay out of the mall. Going shopping with friends puts you in a position to find something you suddenly cant live without, or something that looks so cute on you or would be so cool in your house or so useful in the garage. Except that you were doing just fine without that item until you saw it. Ditto online shopping: Dont cruise your favorite retailers websites unless you have a specific reason to do so. Better yet, undo the one-click function and remove stored credit card info from all sites where youve shopped in the past. Bonus frugal points if you change your online passwords to something that has personal significance, such as WeDDingDAy8192020, or 19YEarsLEftonMORTgage, or EARLYretire2028 these little reminders of where your dollars could be going instead might help you from overbuying. 7. Always buying retail Why automatically pay full price? Instead of heading straight to the shopping center when you need (or want) something, consider these options instead: Thrift shops: Some are junky, but others are great. Its like a treasure hunt. (Pro tip: Find out if there are senior discounts or other special deals. For example, a secondhand store my daughter likes offers 50 percent off every Monday.)Consignment stores: Like thrift shops, except theyre more discriminating about whats accepted.Flash sales: While online shopping should be approached with caution, sometimes a sale really is too good to pass up. Hold yourself to limits, though: Just because those slacks are a great deal doesnt mean you need to buy a pair in every color.OfferUp, LetGo, Craigslist: Sometimes people want (or need) to get rid of furniture, tools, bikes or automobiles without the hassle of a yard sale. Caution is required, but you can get some darned good deals this way.Newspaper classified ads: Yes, really. A guy I know recently bought a pickup truck (necessary for his job) from a newspaper ad, spending many thousands less than he would have paid at a dealership.Freecyle: You might be surprised at whats being given away, no strings attached. Ive seen beautiful furniture, clothing, bicycles, toys, books, and other useful stuff offered up.Yard sales: Another treasure hunt. Ive seen items still in the shrink-wrap at these sales. Its a great place to buy baby stuff, including newborn-sized clothing that seems never to have been worn.Buy Nothing Facebook groups: Last month my partner and I just picked up an almost-new Weber grill. Some of the other things Ive seen lately: baby stuff, solid wood table, sewing machine, board games, computer desk, cookware, and tons of childrens clothes. All of it is free.8. Overdoing it on special occasions Are holidays and birthdays completely over the top? Maybe its time to tone it down. When they become extravaganzas of gift-giving, we cheapen the meaning and also set the bar higher and higher. A kid who gets tons of presents is unlikely to appreciate each one fully and more to the point, he develops a sense of entitlement. As for birthday parties, when did they start resembling mini-coronations? Even one-year-olds are having party rooms reserved, decorations put up, and gift registries established. Really? Think of all the money thats spent and quickly forgotten. Now think what those dollars could have done for a childs education fund or your own retirement. Celebrate joyously, but celebrate sensibly. 9. Overbuying for grandchildren While waiting in line at a crafts store, I met a woman who developed the bad habit of having small gifts waiting for her granddaughters whenever they visited and they visited a lot. The woman was fretting visibly as she looked over the items in the stores dollar section. What do you buy for someone who already has everything? she asked me. After hearing her story, I felt very sad not just for her but also for the kids. A visit to grandmas house had become an exercise in acquisition. The first thing they do upon crossing the threshold is to ask what theyre getting. (Does anyone else find that quite sad?) Expectations are made, not born. If youve gotten into the habit of treats and more treats, scale back. Replace them with activities and gifts of time. The kids who are used to getting stuff will gradually become used to not getting stuff and when occasionally you do treat them, it will mean a lot more. Again, the money you save could go toward their education funds or toward shoring up your own budget. You cant finance retirement. 10. Giving more than you can afford Charity is a noble impulse. But giving to the American Red Cross or the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals should be done after youve taken care of business. Specifically, after youve built an emergency fund, started saving for retirement, and taken care of any consumer debt. Put on your own oxygen mask first, financially speaking. Award-winning journalist and veteran personal finance writerDonna Freedmanis the author of Your Playbook for Tough Times: Living Large on Small Change, for the Short Term or the Long Haul and Your Playbook for Tough Times, Vol. 2: Needs AND Wants Edition. Read more: https://www.thesimpledollar.com/loans/blog/a-loan-wont-solve-your-money-woes-if-you-dont-fix-these-10-financial-issues-first/

[milyanthony]

We Keep These Memories in a Photograph

There’s one thing I dislike about to open up my medical box. My head keeps silent for another seconds - or maybe a couple of minutes. Saw a few of papers with someone and 2 people on them. There are a few of photographs.

I put them in that box after I stopped hanging them on the mirror again. Back in a couple of months I was hanging them on just to gain my mood both for starting and ending my days..

The days when I had to decide to take them out of my sight, I felt like I had to erase some of my memories that had stayed in my head.

That day when the picture was taken in an evening I just bought the batteries for my polaroid camera.

Dinner time. I gave him a christmas present. I remember that was not the most expensive cloth i bought. But when i found it in a store, there were 3 guys were asking to the worker. They wanted the same cloth as I had chosen. The worker said there’s nothing left anymore. Then those 3 guys approached me, proposed me to buy with higher price if i would buy it. I resisted. I was in love with the cloth also. The guys felt a bit sad. I could see that haha.

Then at the dinner time, i gave him that present. I put it in the box. He opened it up. Still remember the way he was feeling so surprised by my present. (Though until now i still dont know that he really likes my present or not) – at that time i was so happy he went out of the toilet and suddenly changed his shirt with the new one. Which meant that was the present from me!

So i decided to take a photograph of us two. Ready to started my polaroid. But it didnt work at the beginning. He helped me to turn it on, he said he’s an enginer, so i counted on him. Second trial – still didnt work.

Then we took time to finally found out that I put the batteries backwards haha.

I kept the rest of the papers for later. Since we dealt to capture the pics with yellow bed sheet before he moved out of his apartment.

He hated his previous place though. But we would miss the bed sheet and the big swimming pool..

The yellow bed sheet that we had never changed since the first time i stared at his eyes were sleeping peacefully in front of me.

The yellow bed sheet that we had never changed since the first time he taught me how to count numbers in his language.

The yellow bed sheet that we had never changed since the first time we started conversation about life..

The yellow bed sheet that we had never changed since the first time we ordered pastas in very small portion. Plus, they were too salty lol. And we ate them on the bed.

The yellow bed sheet that we had never changed since the first time he wanted to organize his birthday and planned to invite friends of him on Facebook. I helped him to make the stupid indonesian slang words. We laughed out loud until midnight..

The yellow bed sheet that we had never changed since the first time we dreamt about having rolex and hermes watches. Then we ended up drawing it by a pen on our hands. Pretended that they’re the real ones. His drawing sucks. It was unfair, because i drew the rolex much better while he was also holding a can of beer bintang. We laughed out loud into tears too.

The yellow bed sheet that we had never changed since the first time I woke up in an early morning. Helped him out to pack up his stuff for a business trip to Singapore. I stared at his back when he was about to get ready. I quietly prayed deep down inside, wished that he would land safely. Made wish that his meeting would go smooth. He never knew…. the words I wished behind his back. He will not..

Yeah.. many things happened.

We will miss that yellow bed sheet anyway. I think he won’t. Me, of course really do..

Gladly i already have the picture of us together with the yellow background. Next time when i would reminisce back on the good times, I would get plenty of memories both laughter or tears that had happened on that bed..

The bed he hated the most when he had to face the aircon straight to his side. Made his allergic appear in the morning.

The bed where we used to have a random karaoke on youtube in the middle of a night.

The bed where we used to hold hands each other in the middle of a quiet night. Teleporting our own power just to empower each other.

The bed where we used to have to understand about the real meaning of trust. Luckily we could get through the times based on the trust we had built together..

The bed where we used to hug each other tight when he broke the curtain. So we could visibly look up the stars and the neighbors’ lamps throughout the window.

The bed where we used to lay and dream about having a puppy and scooter. And we would take the puppy on our scooter lol.

The bed where we used to watch the full session of our favorite TV series. And I always left him sleep.

The bed where I used to wake up earlier than him. Gently Brushed his hair through my fingers while he was still sleeping. Kissed on his forehead without he realized.. watched him sleeping with his long eyelashes and innocent face. Once in the middle of a night I remember I woke up crying. I had a bad dream about losing him. Then I turned around…. I saw him sleeping next to me. I thanked God it was only just a dream..

I am wishing it is still only a dream..

So when I wake up, I don’t have to open my eyes without the figure I missed the most beside me.

Well, about the photograph.

I will keep them safe in the box. After writing this, I will shut my eyes closed. Let the memories fade away.. as I know, when I wake up, I can’t brush his hair anymore..

(Good night. Hope the stars from your new window could shine even brighter..)

[themoneybuff-blog]

A Loan Won't Solve Your Money Woes If You Don't Fix These 10 Issues First

Sometimes even the best-prepared households get knocked sideways, financially speaking. Illness, unemployment, divorce, a car accident that triggers a lawsuit these and other situations can quickly put a hurt on the budget. In such times a personal loan or one of several types of home equity loans can provide a little breathing room until you rebuild your finances. As noted, money woes are sometimes the result of plain old bad luck (illness, job loss). However, sometimes were our own worst enemies: We buy too much, we save too little, we plan not at all. You cant get ahead that way. And you cant keep borrowing your way out of trouble. A loan wont help you unless you fix the following issues. 1. Not having a budget The simplest way to wind up in debt is to spend without thinking. Stop, then, and think for a moment about what you would like to have happen five years from now: buying a home, starting a business, getting married, traveling? When you create a budget, youre not just allocating your dollars youre enabling your dreams. An easy way to do it is the 50/30/20 budget: Spend no more than 50% of your take-home pay on essentials, 30% on wants, and 20% on saving (including retirement planning and an emergency fund). Plenty of budgeting apps exist as well (some are even free). 2. Not tracking spending You cant plug budget leaks unless you know where they are. Track your spending for a month, using pen and paper or a budgeting app. The cumulative effect could be eye-opening. For example, a relatives ex-husband was shocked shocked! to realize that spending $8 a day on fast food added up to $240 a month. His wife had made more money than he did, and their commingled finances made it easy for him to swipe a card and think no more of it. Heres hoping that your own habits arent quite that clueless. But even those of us who think were doing pretty well could be surprised by the cumulative impact of certain habits: beef jerky and a soda every time we pay for gasoline, daily iTunes downloads, $20 a week on scratch tickets. Add up the opportunity cost of those non-essentials, and ask yourself if you could do better. (Spoiler alert: You probably can.) 3. Keeping up with the Joneses Just because next-door neighbor bought the priciest riding mower on the market doesnt mean you have to ditch your trusty Snapper. When your coworker talks about all the activities her kid participates in, you dont have to sign your own tots up for horseback riding and soccer camp. You should not let other people determine your clothing, dcor, automobile, or anything else. Its no ones business that you bought a fixer-upper, that you drive your car until the wheels fall off, that your idea of nightlife is to read a new library book once the kids are in bed. Remember: The Joneses may be up to their hairlines in debt. They might be focused on keeping up, too with the minimum payments, that is. 4. Wanting your kids to have things you didnt Theres nothing wrong with this! Except when there is. Obviously you want your children to be well-fed, reasonably well-dressed, and housed comfortably. You might also want to give them treats and opportunities you never had, such as vacation trips, a big allowance, loads of extracurricular activities, and fully funded education plans. But dont let this noble impulse bust your budget. Just because your kid wants snowboarding lessons, a new smartphone every year, and a car of their own at age 16 doesnt mean you have to give these things. Staying out of debt and funding your retirement should take precedence over granting every whim. At the very least they should have some skin in the game: doing additional chores to help save up for a big-ticket item, say, or mowing lawns or babysitting for extra pocket money. Besides, we arent doing our kids any favors when we give them everything they want. Setting the bar too high now could mean setting them up for problems later on. Specifically, when they move out on their own theyll want to keep living in the style to which we have accustomed them and if their salaries dont allow for that, theyll wind up in debt. 5. Automatic upgrades Whats wrong with your old smartphone or car or whatever? If you bought it relatively recently and it still works, whats with the rush to replace? If you get the newest phone as soon as it comes out, or trade in your vehicle every few years, or replace anything else before it really needs replacing, ask yourself why. Because your co-workers do? Because some commercial made you want a new car? Because you dont know why, but you really, really want to anyway? Think about the opportunity cost of that cash. Then think about the way you want to live, and whether or not you want other people making decisions about your money. 6. Shopping mindlessly If you dont need anything, stay out of the mall. Going shopping with friends puts you in a position to find something you suddenly cant live without, or something that looks so cute on you or would be so cool in your house or so useful in the garage. Except that you were doing just fine without that item until you saw it. Ditto online shopping: Dont cruise your favorite retailers websites unless you have a specific reason to do so. Better yet, undo the one-click function and remove stored credit card info from all sites where youve shopped in the past. Bonus frugal points if you change your online passwords to something that has personal significance, such as WeDDingDAy8192020, or 19YEarsLEftonMORTgage, or EARLYretire2028 these little reminders of where your dollars could be going instead might help you from overbuying. 7. Always buying retail Why automatically pay full price? Instead of heading straight to the shopping center when you need (or want) something, consider these options instead: Thrift shops: Some are junky, but others are great. Its like a treasure hunt. (Pro tip: Find out if there are senior discounts or other special deals. For example, a secondhand store my daughter likes offers 50 percent off every Monday.)Consignment stores: Like thrift shops, except theyre more discriminating about whats accepted.Flash sales: While online shopping should be approached with caution, sometimes a sale really is too good to pass up. Hold yourself to limits, though: Just because those slacks are a great deal doesnt mean you need to buy a pair in every color.OfferUp, LetGo, Craigslist: Sometimes people want (or need) to get rid of furniture, tools, bikes or automobiles without the hassle of a yard sale. Caution is required, but you can get some darned good deals this way.Newspaper classified ads: Yes, really. A guy I know recently bought a pickup truck (necessary for his job) from a newspaper ad, spending many thousands less than he would have paid at a dealership.Freecyle: You might be surprised at whats being given away, no strings attached. Ive seen beautiful furniture, clothing, bicycles, toys, books, and other useful stuff offered up.Yard sales: Another treasure hunt. Ive seen items still in the shrink-wrap at these sales. Its a great place to buy baby stuff, including newborn-sized clothing that seems never to have been worn.Buy Nothing Facebook groups: Last month my partner and I just picked up an almost-new Weber grill. Some of the other things Ive seen lately: baby stuff, solid wood table, sewing machine, board games, computer desk, cookware, and tons of childrens clothes. All of it is free.8. Overdoing it on special occasions Are holidays and birthdays completely over the top? Maybe its time to tone it down. When they become extravaganzas of gift-giving, we cheapen the meaning and also set the bar higher and higher. A kid who gets tons of presents is unlikely to appreciate each one fully and more to the point, he develops a sense of entitlement. As for birthday parties, when did they start resembling mini-coronations? Even one-year-olds are having party rooms reserved, decorations put up, and gift registries established. Really? Think of all the money thats spent and quickly forgotten. Now think what those dollars could have done for a childs education fund or your own retirement. Celebrate joyously, but celebrate sensibly. 9. Overbuying for grandchildren While waiting in line at a crafts store, I met a woman who developed the bad habit of having small gifts waiting for her granddaughters whenever they visited and they visited a lot. The woman was fretting visibly as she looked over the items in the stores dollar section. What do you buy for someone who already has everything? she asked me. After hearing her story, I felt very sad not just for her but also for the kids. A visit to grandmas house had become an exercise in acquisition. The first thing they do upon crossing the threshold is to ask what theyre getting. (Does anyone else find that quite sad?) Expectations are made, not born. If youve gotten into the habit of treats and more treats, scale back. Replace them with activities and gifts of time. The kids who are used to getting stuff will gradually become used to not getting stuff and when occasionally you do treat them, it will mean a lot more. Again, the money you save could go toward their education funds or toward shoring up your own budget. You cant finance retirement. 10. Giving more than you can afford Charity is a noble impulse. But giving to the American Red Cross or the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals should be done after youve taken care of business. Specifically, after youve built an emergency fund, started saving for retirement, and taken care of any consumer debt. Put on your own oxygen mask first, financially speaking. Award-winning journalist and veteran personal finance writerDonna Freedmanis the author of Your Playbook for Tough Times: Living Large on Small Change, for the Short Term or the Long Haul and Your Playbook for Tough Times, Vol. 2: Needs AND Wants Edition. Read more: https://www.thesimpledollar.com/loans/blog/a-loan-wont-solve-your-money-woes-if-you-dont-fix-these-10-financial-issues-first/