#anyways. i am trying hard to just stop thinking abt it fdsgjkl but also. i rarely get to do things for ppl | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

piplupod · 1 year

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gives a man on the bus some change to cover another fare price because his buddy changed plans on him and now he needs to take a different bus and the bus driver can't give him his change back and then i proceed to psychoanalyze my behaviour in this interaction for the next two hours afterwards, effectively ruining the good experience of being able to help someone out bc i analyze myself directly into a spiral. normal behaviour :o)

#dshghsdgjkl i just... did i use the correct tone? did i say the right words? did i seem rude? i hope i didnt come off as rich #was the bus driver judging me? was the other passenger judging me? i know what i am doing when i help ppl!! i have weighed the cost already #was i supposed to make eye contact during the interaction at all? were my hands shaking? did i accidentally give him the wrong change?#and then the worry of what if he is actually a really shitty person who has hurt a lot of ppl !!!!#but i weighed it out in my mind in between hearing abt the situation and choosing to help fsdjkl i figure its a net positive even if-#-the guy is a shithead fjsdjkl bc like. i got to help someone and maybe it'll have a positive effect on him if he IS shitty #anyways. i am trying hard to just stop thinking abt it fdsgjkl but also. i rarely get to do things for ppl #and i rarely get to experience like. CommunityTM so i cherish when i am able to fsdjkl #i wish there was more community efforts in town but i cannot be the one to stick my neck out and organize it in my current situation RIP #so i just do the little things i am able to when i can fdsjfkl but then this happens afterwards so fsdjkl aughhhh #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

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