#anyways they were pretty tiny AND THIS GUY REALLY LIKES BEING ON CLIFFSIDES FOR SOME REASON

[windywhispers]

when I was doing the antigonus quest, I didn't really pay attention to looking for any of the "birds" that Antei left behind, so I left it in my "to do" list to go search for them.

So while I was looking for a nice little area to read more of the Byakuyakoku collection I wound up finding three of the birds! I'm not sure if there are more but :D they're so cute

[glowyjellyfish]

I finally got around to watching part 4 of Disenchantment, and figured I should post some Thoughts like I used to. Just watched through episode 5, and boy is it fun being approximately right about several things!

Namely:

-the destiny Dagmar was going on about for Bean was just another arranged marriage, although that was clear enough by the finale of the last part. At least one of the destinies, anyway.

-Elfo’s backstory; well that was kind of a gimme after the heavy signposting in part 3, but I love that my analysis of the cross-stitch was pretty close, and that I absolutely nailed Elfo being the queen’s firstborn and heir to the throne. And I love all the little details I like to notice about Elfo being incredibly good at violence and stabbing things for a little elf man and so on added up. I do kinda wish they had explained the notch in Elfo’s ear since they pointed it out in part 3 and he clearly doesn’t remember how he got it, but whatever. I adored seeing tiny baby Elfo and would like additional tiny Elfo flashbacks if possible please.

-people being turned into the monsters of Maru is an actual plot point, and it seems like the imperial family has the ability to stop it happening, if not also personal immunity. That’s very similar to a wild guess I made after part one you guys

-and Maru coming after the magic of Dreamland. I’m not sure whether to still suspect that disappearing stone the trogs mined, since it hasn’t really come up again and Dagmar had control of it. Of course, Dagmar also seems like she has her own agenda separately from Becky and Cloyd, soooo

(Okay, now I suspect that the magic of Dreamland is tied up with it being the long-lost home of the elves. A quality of the land that humans couldn’t make effective use of, something that departed when the elves did, or maybe magic just seeped into the place with like. buried dead elves. coming out of their bones or something.)

Things I am still waiting on:

-the mermaid connection to Dreamland, especially the Battle of Falling Water, and whether it or the elves being driven out is related to the bonkers cliffside and river

-Elfo’s heritage being mentioned or talked about. I assume he probably told the other two right away and we just didn’t get to see that and they probably didn’t care much, but I would enjoy having it brought up sometimes. and maybe have it be a big deal to the elves or something. Or at least a line like “oh yeah, I’m actually a prince. Yeah. Heir to the throne of Ogreland as it turns out. No big deal.”

-what we were shown of Bean’s destiny during the first visit to Maru does not match her arranged marriage to Satan, and my feeling is that the Satan marriage is specifically a Dagmar plot, that she pushed Bean to it in order to get out of doing it herself—although I would like to know what the deal was, and assume we’ll be seeing Hell Queen Dagmar some more later in the season. And the screw crown is more of a whole family or Cloyd and Becky thing, perhaps related to the way they want to leech the magic out of Dreamland or whatever. I mean, the fact that they tried the screw crown on Jerry definitely makes it seem like a different thing. We’ll see I guess.

-Odval’s backstory. I still love him as ruthlessly lawful neutral, and I’ll talk about the secret society plot later, but it really puzzles me that he clearly knows what guns are, and he has a round globe, and three eyed people are quite rare, but he doesn’t seem to be from Steamland, or have anything in his history to make people genuinely consider him a threat. I know he puts the needs of his secret society first, then the kingdom, then the royal family, then individual members of the royal family, all while being strictly lawful neutral, but what is his deal, man?

-and then, the secret society. That seems like a final season sort of reveal, and I don’t know if we are there yet. The secret society—aside from orgies—seems mostly interested in manipulating kingdoms to maintain order, but we’ve seen only orgies and the ground floor view of plots, never anything more elaborate or overarching. And they clearly want the cursed royal family of Dreamland off the throne and out of the way, but why? I mean, I think it made perfect sense for Odval to plot to get the unstable and difficult royal family fully out of the way for the good of the kingdom, and I guess I’m not totally clear on to what extent he was plotting under his own initiative for the good of the kingdom, or plotting under the direction of the secret society to advance their goals. It was obviously the latter by the time the curse came into play, and it’s probably fair to assume that Odval and the Archdruidess being in cahoots to puppet Derek for their own interests way back when was at least aligned with the secret society’s goals, if not actively pursuing them... but I think I need to do some more careful rewatching and note taking before can figure out a sound theory about all that. Anyway, I think it would be hilarious if the secret society’s goal involved the abolition of royalty and installing some form of democracy, but that is an extremely wild guess and it doesn’t seem like something many people we have seen on this show would be into. Maybe a democracy where only the members of the secret society get votes, or something.

-and of course we really haven’t seen what the trio being the saviors of the trogs actually means, but that also seems like later-season stuff.

I can’t think of anything else that really caught my brain’s fancy. I’ll be watching more tomorrow night, and possibly finishing it.

[brideofcthulhu10]

The Lost Boys Find Out Their Fem!S/O is Pregnant [3/4]

Guh, this one has taken the longest so far. Dwayne is such a strong silent type, and unfortunately got the least lines in the film so I had to really push myself to get into the right mindset. I think it came out fantastic, I hope you guys love it too. Now it's time for:

DWAYNE

Rays of light were beginning to crack through the little nooks of the ceiling, a slow sunrise ushering the vampiric quartet into the depths of the hotel ruins for a long anticipated rest after another wild night. The last to go was your night bird, Dwayne. Calloused hands dragged on your cheek, stealing away any kisses he could. You savored the smokey scent his hair carried and nearly giggled at how his stubble tickled your neck.

"Dwaaayne, I'll still be here tonight," you insisted, gently nudging him off. "Go inside before you burst into flames."

He chuckled with a wide grin, taking one last kiss. "Alright, I'll be back. 6 o'clock on the dot, as soon as the sun goes down."

"It's a date."

You watched him scurry into the cove, pushing past collapsed beams and cobwebs. How they could sleep in that you would never know. Still, that meant you had an entire day to kill before they would be up again. A long, boring day.

You had stopped verbally complaining long ago, every time you did David would insist if you just let Dwayne bite you, this wouldn't be a problem. But you just weren't ready. At least, not yet. The night was so alluring, and every day you felt yourself wanting to be beside them more. However, you still had some final days to cling to. Maybe it was just the fear of making such a massive change. Cowardice.

Just waiting around the cave quickly grew boring, laying atop the bed that once housed Star and Laddie now eerily vacant. You tried to pass the early morning hours by flipping through magazines, listening to your portable cassette player- yeah, you knew it was going out of fashion, but CDs were so expensive, and you were not about to let the boys steal a $200+ player just to listen to Mötley Crüe on a slightly different player. You'd brought your own entertainment after so many visits, but you soon groaned when you realized it was only 10 am. There were still 7 and a half hours of waiting to go, and you were nowhere near tired enough for a nap!

Maybe a quick walk would kill your boredom, a quick snack on the boardwalk, pick up the guys something to munch on before they go out hunting. Yeah, that should be good.

With a soft grunt you scooted off the bed, wedging your feet into your boots with your backpack slung over your shoulder. "I'll be back soon," you whisper out loud, looking over at the dusty hole they'd disappeared into. Dwayne definitely couldn't hear you, but it still felt nice to give a little goodbye every time you went out. This time you'd use the cave entrance that led up those old wooden stairs. The walkway was a gorgeous deck barely over the water. On high tide it could wash over and hit your feet. Part of you was amazed it was still standing after so many decades of wear and tear.

However, the moment you looked outside it made your eyes squint, weighing heavy on your brow. Was it always this bright during the day? 

It got significantly worse once you were fully outside shuffling around the debris littered across the rocks. It wasn't just your average tired eye sting. That was pretty common after spending all night out, and half the day in a dimly lit cave. But you'd never experienced it like this. It was a splitting, throbbing headache that almost made you lose your footing. You had to close your eyes just to feel any kind of relief. Noise was amplified- Oh god, those stupid seagulls made your ears ache! 

Walking just made it hurt more. It was taxing on your body, like wading in molasses in August. Now, you weren't a stranger to the heat. After all you grew up on California sunshine. Almost thrived in it. Now you barely made it up the stairs atop the cliffside, until you just had to sit down. Wedged tightly against the banister you reveled in the tiny slivers of shadow that cascaded from the wooden railing. When your jacket became to much you peeled it off to use for cover, and eventually you forced yourself to continue walking. What was happening?? Those few steps were enough to make your stomach wretch and twist with starvation. Truthfully you hadn't been eating well lately, everything just made you nauseous. Stomach flu, maybe. Why was the ground spinning..?

And that was it. The next time your eyes opened the last bits of sun were long gone. Something- no, someone, was shaking you, trying to snap you out of that fog. They yelled out, nearly swinging you around like a ragdoll in a panic. It was muffled, you could hear another voice, then another.

"Y/N! Y/N!"

"Dude, you keep shaking her like that, she's gonna break something."

"What is she doing out here in the first place anyway, man?" 

A huge breath of life reanimated your body, almost screaming as you sat up crashing into the chilled chest of Dwayne who still had you in his arms. "Hey, easy, easy. You're okay, it's just us."

Quickly your eyes darted around. Dwayne's arm was hooked under your back elevating you off the ground, Marko was knelt on your other side with Paul leaning on the smaller vampire's back. David was just behind Dwayne with arms crossed, looking down at you. 

"You know, Y/N, if your bed was uncomfortable we woulda gotten you another," Paul teased. 

"Dude," Marko questioned, lightly elbowing him in the ribs. 

"Ow. Aw, c'mon I'm just kiddin'."

Dwayne still wouldn't set you down, pushing sweaty locks of H/C from your face. "What happened," you managed to ask in a raspy voice, carefully shifting your weight onto your butt. 

"We found you out here, I was hoping you could tell us," David answered with a cigarette clenched between his teeth, a small flame roasting the end into ashy cinders. 

"I honestly couldn't tell you. I only wanted to head over to the boardwalk for an hour or two. I thought I could pick you guys something up on the way back but..," you held the side of your head, the remains of your headache still lingering from earlier. "My stomach hurt all over and.. I just fell."

Something just wasn't adding up, enough that David paused, looking at you. Your heart beat was calm but… every other beat an entirely new rhythm would chime in. Rapid, quiet, stirring. "You sure you hadn't been with anyone else, Y/N?"

"What," You questioned, immediately offended by the implications of that question. Unsurprisingly, Dwayne was equally outraged as he helped you onto your feet. 

"Y/N isn't like that, you know this David," he snapped. Dwayne always had that sulking gaze but it wasn't often he was legitimately upset. With his arms still around your waist you could feel his muscles tighten into cement. The atmosphere was so thick you could cuz it with a knife, and after a few minutes of intense glares… Dwayne's eyes widened. 

He heard it too. Faster than your own heart beat, buried deep below it was almost too soft to hear. A pulse submerged in water.

He had been so busy worrying about your fainting, he never realized why. It made sense the more he thought about it. Grabbing you, he spun you around to face him. He hadn't intended to be so rough that even Marko was telling him to ease up. "You swear.. you swear you haven't..." The suggestion was cruel. He didn't want to even say it out loud, and your face twisted into one of disgust, slapping his hands off your shoulders.

"Alright that's enough," you snapped, stepping away from all of them. "What is with all of you?! Is this just how you guys check up on people who faint, accuse them of adultery? What the fuck?!"

You could feel tears forming in your eyes and you immediately had to look away. You were not about to show weakness while angry. Dwayne gently took your wrist before you could storm off, looking deep into your eyes. Why did he look so afraid, even in the inky night you could see something haunted those chocolate orbs. "Dwayne...What's going on…," you asked again, this time softening your tone. David, easily sensing the building tension, cleared his throat. 

"Marko, Paul, let's wait inside."

"Aw what," Paul chimed in, arms up in the air. "No way man, I wanna know what's going on! What's with all the crazy??"

Marko looked at David, then back and for between you and Dwayne. Oh. He got it. While Paul still protested, Marko slung his arm over his shoulder and yanked him down to whisper in his ear. At first he looked utterly confused, but then his face went wide. The realization of the century. "Ohhhhhhh," he finally said, looking over at you. "Gotcha. Good luck babes, we'll give you guys a little alone time." Both blondes had these odd smirks on their face, no doubt clued in on the inside joke you were definitely a part of yet left completely clueless. David followed them down the steps with a smug grin, giving a small wave. 

Alright, now you were confused. Dwayne didn't speak though. He just clasped your hand tightly in his. All he said was "c'mon" while lightly pulling you along. The moon was so huge tonight in lit up the ocean, a sea of stars dipped in black. There you both sat, legs just barely hanging off the edge in utter silence. Whatever it was must have been weighing heavy on his mind because he never turned to look at you. Instead he kept your hand firmly clutched in his own, staring straight off into the unknown. His sigh broke the silence, fingers tightening around your hand again. "There's more than one heart beat… coming from inside you."

It took a moment for what he said to sink in. Another..? What did that-...

Oh. That's why they were being so weird. It was hard to breath, like someone was sitting on top of your chest. And now what haunted Dwayne's thoughts now crept into your own. Their suspicions were reasonable. No one figured that.. well considering the boys were undead it wasn't exactly expected for you to..

"Dwayne I…," you started, looking at him. "I've never been with anyone else. You know that, right?"

This time he couldn't speak, just nod in agreement. Of course he knew you were loyal. Honestly he never doubted it, but the shock of what that meant was a bit much for him to handle. He'd taken care of Laddie alongside Star for years, even before he turned, he was great with kids. But the thought of fatherhood never really crossed his mind. Were he human it'd be common sense, he'd be at the proper age. Maybe even already have a family.

But he was 19. He just… happened to be 19 for a very long time. Quietly he pulled you by your waist so you were beside him, then nudged your head onto his shoulder. You weren't scared, just in awe. For a moment you brushed your hand over your abdomen. It was warm, already firm to the touch. In the months to come you knew it would grow, your baby would grow. But in that moment, as Dwayne's calloused hand placed over yours feeling that little life stir inside you, you felt at peace. That was that. You two sat there for what felt like hours, watching the waves, watching the moon rise high above. It really was a beautiful night. A perfect night. The first night of many more to come.

[dogcircle-scans]

Natsume Yuujinchou: “Untitled” Summary (Special Chapter 21)

In the deep, dark depths of the forest, one being meets something—... 

Here’s the latest Natsume Yuujinchou chapter! So sorry about delaying this for so long (it’s been at least 2 weeks since it was released), but real life has been hella hectic and looking at my work calendar I don’t think it will die down any time soon.

Anyways, we have a special chapter this time. Though it was a bit disappointing, it was still an extremely adorable chapter with some even more adorable characters. ^w^

Next month’s issue (as in, this month’s issue) won’t come with a Natsume Yuujinchou chapter, but it will come with a free set of three Nyanko-sensei pins. The month after that (releasing on May 24th) will come with the 100th chapter of Natsume Yuujinchou. (We have made it guys! The 100th chapter!!)

As usual, special thanks to Jessica for proofreading and editing this summary!

- Niji

[Everything under the cut.]

Special Chapter 21

A tiny masked-youkai finds himself trapped in the horrid “Forest of Giant Feet”, where numerous youkai have been squashed to death by the giant feet that trot through the forest.

Shivering amongst the tree branches, the tiny youkai catches sight of two large youkai appearing in the distance: one with single eye, and one that looks like a bull.

As the giant feet stomps around them, the two youkai evade them nimbly, much to the tiny youkai’s surprise.

Tiny: (They got through!?) *gasp* (If I follow them…)

Holding back his shivers, the tiny youkai leaps onto the back of the one-eyed youkai.

Eventually, the two youkai leave the forest, talking about how they were directed towards a shortcut by someone named Hinoe, but found themselves in a rather rowdy forest.

The tiny youkai is still hanging onto them.

Tiny: (Just as I thought I was done for, I was able to escape thanks to them… I want to thank them somehow, but they appear to be powerful ayakashi. They might just eat someone as tiny as me…… ——But I wonder where I am? Maybe I should keep sticking to them discreetly until we get to a safe place……………)

A tiny mouse-like youkai pops out beside Tiny, staring at him in silence.

Tiny: (Hey! Are you sticking to these beings too? Seems like us little guys have our fair share of hardships, huh?) Mouse: ……

One-eyed: Well, if it’s a shortcut, we should be able to make it in time. Bull-faced: Hah~~~~ I want to finish this quickly and get back to drinking. One-eyed: Having a drink right after something troublesome always brings about a special taste. Tiny: (......I wonder where they came from? Do you have any ideas?) Mouse: …… Tiny: (You sure are a quiet guy. But, I suppose we should really be keeping quiet, or……) HIIIIII…!!!

Before they knew it, the two youkai are leaping through the air. Seeing that Mouse is starting to lose his grip, Tiny quickly grabs him. But his screams resume as the horrendous journey continues…

Tiny soon begins to notice that the two youkai are carrying some things with them; the One-eyed youkai has a gourd, while the Bull-faced youkai has a basket with him.

Tiny: ——Where do you plan to get off? Mouse: …… Tiny: ——I’m in the middle of a journey to find a peaceful place to live in. But to someone as tiny as me, everything just seems so frightening…… Mouse: *flop~~* Tiny: Ah! Again! *grab* My my, you sure are an unreliable guy. If you keep this up, you might just get thrown off. Bull-faced: Hah~~~~~ Seriously, I feel like my bones are about to break! One-eyed: I’m sure you understand our hard work! Bull-faced: This is going to cost you a lot! One-eye: That’s right, that’s right~~~ Tiny: (As I observed them, there was one more thing I noticed. Once in a while, these beings would begin muttering some complaints… As though they were speaking to someone——)

After that, they passed through numerous, strange places… and finally arrive at a peach garden. The two youkai toss the basket and the gourd aside, and begin picking peaches off the trees. Tiny and Mouse watch them as peaches are thrown into the basket one after another.

Tiny looks around him, and plucks out a peach within his reach. He tosses it into the basket.

Mouse: …… Tiny: I’m helping them as thanks for letting me ride them.

Just as Tiny continues with his next peach, he spots Mouse throwing a peach into the basket as well. One by one, the two of them toss the peaches into the basket, until…

One-eyed: ——Oh? For some reason, it looks like the fruits have multiplied———— Tiny: *GULP!* …… Bull-faced: ………. Just your imagination. One-eyed: ——Hmmm, just my imagination, huh?

[Oh man… The Mid-Ranks are just so sweet. I’m pretty sure they’ve already noticed the two tiny guys with them, and lied here so that they wouldn’t frighten them.]

They continue on their journey, with the two tiny youkai on One-eyed’s back, once again.

Tiny: Oh no! I should have gotten off at the peach garden just now… (——However, I’ve started getting curious about where these peaches are going. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been on a journey all by myself for so long. I don’t want to lea……) ………

Tiny glances over at Mouse.

Tiny: (...Maybe I could… ——invite him, to join me on my journey……)

The two large youkai continue to chat, talking about bringing the peaches to someone named Benikyouki-sama, in exchange for something else. Tiny wonders who this Benikyouki-sama is when they finally arrive at their destination.

It is a wayside shrine.

Both of the large youkai bow down towards the shrine, offering up the basket of peaches as they get on their knees.

One-eyed: Benikyouki*-sama. We’ve brought some peaches from Lull Headland, which is known as a secret village. If possible, we would like to exchange them with the beautiful white heron chick from White Willow Pond that you have captured a few days ago.

[“Benikyouki” = “Oni/Demon of the Crimson Bridge”]

Upon One-eyed’s back, Tiny shrieks to himself.

Tiny: (Hiii! Hiiiii! Isn’t Benikyouki the rumoured fearsome Oni with a violent temperament……?)

The door of the shrine slides open, and a giant hand emerges, holding a box between its thumb and index finger.

The two youkai thank Benikyouki, and rush off with the box in tow.

Bull-faced: Now! Hurry hurry~~~~ One-eyed: If we don’t hurry up, we won’t make it in time before the herons leave for their journey! Bull-faced: Hah~~~~~ Why do we have to do something so pointless~~ Seriously——

They go to a cliffside. One-eyed opens the box, and a tiny white bird flies out.

One-eyed: There. It’s time for you to return to your flock. Don’t get caught again, got it?

One-eyed: ——If you want to thank someone, please thank Natsume-sama. We were reluctant, but he’s the one that made us help you. Right, Natsume-sama? Tiny: Huh…?

The herons fly away together, enveloping them in a sea of white.

With their work finished, the two youkai merrily return to their friends.

Bull-eyed: We’re back~~~~ Hinoe: Ohh, how was it? One-eyed: It was super—— difficult! We were almost squashed by giant feet, and almost fell into a valley… So many things, really! Gourd: *bounce* *thud* Hinoe: And? Did you do what Natsume asked you to do? Did the heron manage to escape? One-eyed: Of course!

Bull-faced: It wasn’t a place where humans could enter, but Natsume-sama said that he would like to see it through the end, so we had to put him in a form that other ayakashi wouldn’t notice in order for him to come with us. It was so stressful! Hah~~~~~ So tired~~~~~ Tiny: *sneak…* …… *shy…* ——Could it be… You’re that “Natsume-sama”...? …You have friends like that…?

Gourd: Hey, Mid-Ranks! Are we back!? I never asked you to bring me along! *KNOCK KNOCK* All I did was approach you guys for advice when the heron chick was captured! ——Hey!! Nyanko: ——Seriously, Natsume, fooling around on your own.

Tiny looks at Mouse awkwardly.

Tiny: …… …Then… You really are just a small guy…… …Do you want to come with me…? Mouse: *nod* Tiny: (That was the first big adventure that the cowardly me had ever experienced.) One-eyed: Hey! Those two tiny guys over there! Come here for a drink as well! Even though that Natsume-sama is actually nothing more than a small fry… Bull-eyed: Seriously, he really is a troublesome person——— Gourd: HEY—— LET ME OUT———!

SPECIAL CHAPTER 21 END

[echoeternally]

Fanfic Gift! (Smash): A Spirited Story

Haha, what, you expected just the one thing being late? It’s totally on time.

This is a double gift! Or, rather, a gift for two people: my friends @mrnerdling and @matsutzu, who talked with me a bunch about various things a lot last year and probably definitely longer. And absolutely does not double as missed birthday and holiday gifts, no sir.

They both like Fox and Wolf, they both like Smash, so I thought, “Hey, why not mash those two things together?” Because that’s a dumb brilliant idea, that’s why. So, yes.

It serves as another thank you gift for my friends, and shameless took the Smash Ultimate universe to bend to my lunacy creative thought process.

And it holds many, many gays within it. Because one pairing just wouldn’t cut it for me, like, ever.

Anyway! A fanfic below for you and anyone else looking to read. Please enjoy! 

Along a wide, sunset bathed cliffside location, two hands drifted across the sky, hovering over a gathering of numerous creatures of different backgrounds.

 An orderly hand pointed out with its finger, slowly flowing around the cast herd below, as it neared one.

 “Fox!” An omnipotent voice thundered from the skies.

 “Another fight, then.” Fox smirked and readied his blaster. A red coin flashed below his feet. “So be it. Let’s go!”

 “No.”

 “Wait, what?”

 Drifting away, the hand floated off, and the red circle beneath Fox had vanished.

 “…What was the point of that?” The pilot folded his arms and watched as the hand flew off. “…Pikachu, come on. Wasn’t that weird?”

 “Pika pi.”

 “Oh, don’t give me that.” Fox’s ears lowered as the yellow mouse beside him chuckled.

 “Sorry, it’s too fun.” He scratched his ear and twitched his tail. “You’d think that it would make more sense for someone like me to talk, considering that you and your friends can.”

 “Friend.” Fox rolled his eyes. “Falco is my friend, Wolf is not.”

 “…I meant those other animal people.” Pikachu lifted his paw and counted. “If I have their names correct, that includes Peppy, Slippy, uh…Krystal, and—”

 “Ok, ok, you got me there.” Fox shrugged. “Still, I don’t get why those hands can be so indecisive. I mean, the guy’s called ‘Master Hand,’ shouldn’t he be more of a master of his own fate kind of being?”

 “Come to think of it, should we even be addressing him and the crazy one as males?” Pikachu tilted his head, watching the other hand circle through the sky, waving its fingers about wildly. “Just because they have masculine voices, that doesn’t really confirm if we’re meant to address them as such.”

 “They want to be addressed that way, last I heard.” Fox rubbed behind his head. “I know they’re just floating hands with supreme powers in this realm, but they are alive in their own sense, so…” Fox sighed. “This is a complete separate conversation from what I wanted to talk about.”

 “Ridley!”

 “Ah, is this the part where we all yell out, ‘Ridley confirmed!’” Pikachu smirked as a crowd some distance from him and Fox did just that. “Ah…that never gets old.”

 “Samus kind of hates that.” Fox glanced over as the armored warrior seethed. “A lot.”

 “Yeah…and I have some memory of fighting him too, now that you mention it.” Pikachu shrugged. “But hey, he’s oddly good with Pichu.”

 “So is that big cat guy from your universe!” Fox blinked. “…Is he a guy cat?”

 “The one with us today happens to be, yes.” Pikachu chuckled. “Got your head spinning a bit, huh?”

 “Ugh, honestly.”

 “King K. Rool!”

 “And there’s Donkey Kong’s most hated,” pointed out Fox, as a blue light burst from under a large crocodile with a crown.

 “Sure…his, uh, ‘most hated,’ let’s go with that.”

 “They’re enemies, from what I was told.” Fox raised an eyebrow. “Did I miss something?”

 “Uh…someone else should explain it to you.”

 “Duck Hunt! Duck Hunt! Duck Hunt!”

 “What the hell is he doing now?”

 “Probably trying to make that sound ridiculous if he can mash it quickly enough.” Pikachu snickered. “If you’re fast enough, it sounds like—”

 “Something really immature.”

 “Um…well…” Pikachu puffed out his cheek. “Buzzkill, dude.”

 “I’m just saying.”

 “Yeah, you’re right, I guess.”

 “Shulk!”

 “Pit!”

 “Ice Climbers!”

 “Team Battle!”

 “Time!”

 “Stamina!”

 “Time!”

 “Huh.” Pikachu scratched his nose. “Guess they’re swapping rules along with us.”

 “This is the first time I haven’t heard them yell ‘Stock’ in ages.” Fox clutched his head. “It’s almost always the case.”

 “Pretty much.”

 “Ready to Fight!”

 Disks of earth erupted from the ground, carrying off the six selected fighters. A massive portal opened up, carrying them off to a spacious field with a train rushing through the area.

 “Ooh…that’s going to suck for them.” Pikachu winced. “Spirit Train gets a little crowded, you know?”

 “It’s not exactly my first choice either,” admitted Fox. “Though…it’s nice to feel the rush of the wind on a moving vehicle.”

 “You would enjoy that.” Pikachu shook his head and ambled away. “Ah well. Let’s get going.”

 “Going?”

 “Yeah.” Pikachu turned back and blinked. “What, you’re not going to just sit here and wait for them to drag us off in who knows how long that fight’s going for, are you?”

 “Well, I…I just figured…”

 “Oh my gosh, you were.”

 “Hey, come on!” Fox folded his arms. “What else are we supposed to do?”

 “Literally anything else.” Pikachu rolled his eyes. “They don’t even need us exactly to stand here. We’re two of…how many versions of us exist here again?”

 “Point taken, but—”

 “But nothing.” Pikachu motioned for Fox to follow him. “Palutena is going to have a bunch of us at her temple.”

 “To do what?”

 “I don’t know, socialize?” Pikachu continued walking. “Look, you can stand here and wait in your numbered spot, if you want. But, I’d rather relax and play with my friends than just…sit here.”

 Glancing back at the barren sky, Fox spun around as another portal opened in the sky. A goddess with flowing green hair rose up.

 “How is it you mortals start these sort of things?” Palutena tapped her cheek, and then shrugged. “Ah, whatever. Come on, let’s party!”

 Bewildered, Fox shook his head and walked behind Pikachu, as they both followed the massive crowd through the portal.

 Entering a vast structure in the heavens above, Fox and Pikachu stepped onto a grassy cliff. A smaller mouse scurried over to them and excited grabbed at Pikachu.

 “Pikachu, Pikachu!” The tiny mouse bounced around. “Come on, come on! Kirby’s going to play with me and Jigglypuff! And he’s bringing Meta Knight too!”

 “Aw, that’s really cute, Pichu…wait, Meta Knight?” Pikachu grinned. “This, I’ve got to see.” He turned back to Fox. “See you later, Number 7.”

 “Later, Number 8.”

 “Maybe that trainer will let the other Pokemon play with us too!”

 “As long as he’s not stuffing us in balls, sounds good.”

 Fox waved as the Pokemon hurried across the bridge. They bumped a black-winged angel off, who flapped his wings and floated back onto the wooden planks.

 “Hey! Watch it!”

 “Aw, don’t be so angry, Pittoo.” Palutena floated to him, spiraling her staff around. “Come on, relax, enjoy yourself instead of brooding for once.”

 “It’s not brooding, it’s thinking quietly.”

 “Sure, right.”

 “Don’t you have an angel of your own to annoy?”

 “He got selected to battle, or didn’t you hear those other god hands choose him?” Palutena laughed. “That means I get to boss you around in his place!”

 “Not happening.”

 “You’re not refusing a goddess, are you, Pittoo?”

 “My name is Dark Pit!”

 “…That really, really doesn’t sound much better.”

 Fox stifled a laugh and hopped from the cliff, down to the next, and walked over to a flat platform between it and another grassy cliff. He gazed out at the golden clouds and smiled before turning and sitting by the water’s edge, listening to the cascading waterfall flow down below him.

 “Yo, Fox!”

 Glancing up, Fox watched as a blue bird flipped backwards off of a cloud, leaping down and landing on the grass below. He popped back up, waved his wing with a wink, and walked over.

 “Falco, hey.” Fox waved, and then pointed past him. “You do know there was a ladder that you could’ve taken, right?”

 “Yeah, but wasn’t that way more stylish?” Falco rubbed a wing over his beak. “That’s much more my speed, you know?”

 “If you want to break your feet some day, sure.” Fox chuckled as Falco sat beside him. “So, what are you up to around here?”

 “Nothing much, just enjoying a nice perch.”

 “Leave to Falco to find a high spot to hang from,” teased Fox.

 “What can I say?” Falco smirked. “I do prefer the air.”

 “Oh, not that again.”

 “Come on, it’s a great line!” Falco puffed out his chest. “It’s really…me, you know?”

 “Uh-huh.”

 “Don’t be jealous because I’m the one with more personality,” mocked Falco. “That’s why a lot of people get into this place, you know. Go ask that spunky princess, the blonde fighter guy, or that blue vested vampire guy.”

 “Vampire killer, I think.”

 “Whatever, they hang out with a vampire either way.”

 “True.” Fox blinked. “Speaking of, have you seen Krystal?”

 “Nope.”

 “…You…don’t sound all that concerned about her.”

 “Why should I?” Falco shrugged. “She’s not really the same as us, you know?”

 “Hey, she can fight just the same—”

 “As in from the same point in our universe, Fox.”

 “Ah. Well…wait, what do you mean?”

 “You know, that whole, uh…how did the others put it…?” Falco waved his wings around. “The chronology thing! How she’s from this set era based on a time that we never existed in. It’s not really hers either, but it’s from that adventure.”

 “An adventure of ours that we’ve never been on?”

 “There, that!” Falco grinned, as Fox tilted his head. “…Don’t look at me like that. You remember going to the dinosaur planet, Sauria?”

 “No, but…I don’t remember a lot of things that I’m supposed to around here.” Fox rubbed his head. “Something about space alien species known as Aparoids, Andross having a grandson, it’s all…I don’t know, foreign?”

 “Includes Krystal,” reminded Falco.

 “Look, just because we don’t really recognize her and she doesn’t really understand why we’re different doesn’t mean that we should treat her like she doesn’t belong with us.” Fox lowered his eyes as Falco folded his arms. “Come on, don’t be like that.”

 “She’s weird, just admit it.”

 “Different, not weird,” corrected Fox.

 “Call it what you want.” Falco shrugged. “Anywho, that’s neither here nor there. At least she has herself around here. Peppy being a big handsome penguin with a bunny headband is weird.”

 “Yeah, you’ve got…wait, what?”

 “I mean, I know it’s not really him, but—”

 “Whoa, whoa, back it up.” Fox pointed at Falco. “Did you just utter ‘handsome’ about that big penguin guy?”

 “…No?”

 “Pretty sure my hearing is one of the best around here.”

 “Pretty sure you’re crazy.”

 “Falco.”

 “Ok, maybe I did!” Falco hopped up from Fox’s side. “So what?”

 “Are you into him?”

 “Into who?”

 “That penguin.” Fox tapped at his chin. “I think he’s…Dedede?”

 “King Dedede.”

 “Holy crap, you do have a crush on him.”

 “Do not!” Falco blushed and twisted away. “It’s not like it’s that big of a deal.”

 “Are you so offended by me knowing?”

 “Knowing what?!”

 “That you like the king.”

 “Which?” Falco snapped his beak shut and twisted back, eyes widened. “Uh…what?!”

 “…You like more than one of them?”

 “No!” Falco twisted back and placed his hands on his hips. “Where do you even get off with those ideas?”

 “Well, the only red spots of your feathers are around your eyes, not your cheeks.” Fox pointed at Falco’s brightened face. “Also, I think even your beak is glowing a bit from—”

 “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

 “Aw, that’s so cute.” Fox blinked. “Hang on, did you like Peppy before—?”

 “Ew, no!” Falco fumed. “Enough, Fox!”

 “So…if King Dedede is one…” Fox snapped his fingers. “Oh, that King K. Rool guy, he’s another one, huh?”

 “Gross, no way!” Falco stomped his foot. “Come off it, Fox!”

 “Wow, you are.” Fox smirked. “The penguin I get, birds of a feather and all that. But the crocodile?”

 “What?! What’s wrong with him?!” Falco shifted his eyes back and forth wildly. “Uh, not that I care.”

 “Hmm.” Fox’s grin broadened. “Do you have a thing for big guys, Falco? I didn’t think you had a particular type.”

 “I don’t!”

 “You sure?”

 “Shut up, Fox!”

 “Hey, do you like that Wario guy too?”

 “Are you serious?!” Falco scooped Fox up by his jacket. “Ooh, I could clobber you myself, here and now!”

 “Think that role is reserved for me.”

 Both pilots spiraled around as a third stood on the cliffs above them, smirking a toothy grin.

 “Wolf!”

 “Saved by the rival.” Falco sighed, and blinked, releasing Fox. “Not…not that I needed that.”

 “Good, because I’m not here to rescue you from your embarrassing heavy guy crushes,” mocked Wolf.

 “Oh, come on!”

 “What the hell do you want, Wolf?!”

 “Just keeping tabs on you, same as always, Fox.” Wolf spun away. “Carry on, you two, gossiping like those psychic kids and villagers about silly crushes.”

 Running off, Wolf cackled as he hurried away. Tightening his hands to fists, Fox jerked up from the ground.

 “Fox, he’s absolutely baiting you,” cautioned Falco. “What for is beyond me, but that’s definitely bait.”

 “Maybe so, but I’m not just going to let him go around causing trouble whenever or wherever he wants.” Fox jumped up to the cliff. “If anyone can stop him, it’s me!”

 “You get him, Fox!” Falco rubbed behind his head as Fox twisted around, shooting his teammate an inquisitive look. “Uh…what?”

 “You’re not coming?”

 “Um…you, uh, you want me to?”

 “…You’re waiting for that penguin, aren’t you?”

 “No!”

 “Whatever, I can handle Wolf on my own.”

 “Hey, Fox!”

 Running across the bridge, Fox charged after Wolf, who disappeared past the fountain. Hopping down from a ledge as three princesses giggled and whispered with one another near an actual temple, he surged past them, swinging down past another ledge.

 “Hey, watch where you’re going, tough guy!” The princess in yellow and orange placed her hands on her hips, glaring after him. “My girlfriends and I don’t appreciate you just running amuck, got it?”

 “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt the gal pals.”

 “Girlfriends.”

 “Right, that’s what—” Wolf clasped his mouth shut. “Oh. …Huh. My mistake. Carry on and enjoy, ladies.”

 Grinning, he hopped down to a pit below, falling past a hall and down to a cavern dungeon. A blue frog and a red tiger were chattering together there.

 “Ok, so the cave was a less, uh…intimate than I imagined,” admitted the tiger. “That’s my bad.”

 “It’s double your bad, Incineroar, because I told you this place wasn’t a nice spot,” grumbled the frog. “I’ve been here before, you haven’t.”

 “Sorry, for the third time already, Greninja!” Incineroar folded his arms. “Look, I just thought somewhere darker might be cozier for us than…” He shuddered. “…Cozier than anywhere near the waterfalls.”

 “Or the fountain,” insisted Greninja. “Those were nicer spots!”

 “Boy oh boy, I do love interrupting couples today.” Both jerked around and glared at Wolf, who grinned and waved at them. “Hello, fellow evildoers.”

 “In our world, ‘evil’ is a description of mysterious types that people don’t understand, including our own kind,” snapped the frog. “It’s not the same as in yours at all.”

 “Right, sure.”

 “What do you want, Wolf?”

 “Ooh, you know me!” Wolf placed his hand over his chest. “I’m touched, kitty-cat.”

 “It’s Incineroar,” snapped Greninja. “Quit being condescending.”

 “So defensive of your partner,” teased Wolf. “How sweet.”

 “If you don’t want me to pound you out of the stratosphere, you’ll choose your next words carefully.” Incineroar growled.

 “Come on, we all know you’re a big softie.”

 “I’m not,” warned Greninja.

 “No, you…you’re rougher.” Wolf grinned. “Like me.”

 “What?”

 “You two and I should team up once in a while,” offered Wolf. “After all, I’ve got an assassin on my team back where I’m from, like you, froggie.” Wolf beamed as Greninja rolled his eyes. “And you, well…apparently, I have worked with a big cat before. Maybe not as meaty, and maybe not to my recollection, but—”

 “Not interested.” Incineroar smirked. “Like you called it, I’m the big softie. Folks may like me fooling around with the bad guys for show, but I’m not about to roll with one like you outside of one.”

 “…Huh. First time that one backfired on me.”

 “Wolf!”

 Twisting back with a jump, Wolf lowered his eyes as Fox growled at him from above.

 “Sorry, boys, looks like I’ve got to run.” He grinned back to them. “Enjoy your date. Offer’s open whenever you like.”

 “It’ll stay open,” both Pokemon fired back simultaneously.

 Hopping up onto an orange spring, Wolf flew up and past Fox, bouncing onto another spring and upwards again.

 “Get back here!”

 Jumping onto the spring, Fox chased after him. Incineroar and Greninja blinked athe two disappearing pilots and glanced back to each other.

 “Fountain of Dreams would have been a much nicer spot to be right now,” insisted Greninja. “We could have had a relaxing evening there.”

 “Oh, here we go.” Incineroar sighed and rolled his eyes. “Babe, what part of ‘Fire Type’ don’t you get?”

 Fox carried on after Wolf, but stopped short as he climbed up to the fountain. A monkey in a cap and shirt walked past him.

 “Oh, hey! Uh…Diddy Kong!” Fox hurried to the monkey. “Listen, can you help me catch Wolf? I need to—”

 “Wolf?! He’s here, in this place?!”

 Jerking back, Fox blinked at the monkey. His eyes were lowered and he grinned darkly.

 “Star Fox, I’m certainly not about to help you over my, ah…leader.”

 “…So…you not wearing red…is because…?” Fox blinked. “Are you ok, Diddy?”

 “It’s Andrew, Fox!”

 “…Ah.” Fox nodded. “In that case…”

 Grabbing the monkey by the shirt, Fox flung him out past the bridge and spiraling away from the skies, as the chimp screamed out and fell away.

 “You’re lucky that doesn’t kill you,” called Fox with a wave. Twisting back, he gazed past the fountain. “Now…after Wolf.”

 Clawing his way up platforms past the temple, Wolf leapt up and to the shrine that hovered above the smaller temple. He rushed to the altar, where Palutena talked with a blue haired woman.

 “So then, I rushed back through time to go help my father, and put a stop to the fell dragon once and for all.” The woman blinked, and unsheathed her sword. “Lady Palutena! Be wary. A beast approaches.”

 “What?” Palutena turned around. “Oh, you.” She smiled. “Wolf, wasn’t it?”

 “That’s right.” Wolf rested his hands on his knees. “I’m going to need your help, ah, Lady Palutena.”

 “Excuse me?”

 “You heard right.” He picked himself back up. “Come on, get me a portal that goes to the other big crowd, off at that cave.”

 “The one below? I think there’s only a couple down there.”

 “The other cave, not even here.” Wolf paused and waved a fist up and down. “You know, where that, uh…that penguin comes from.”

 “Oh, the Great Cave.” Palutena nodded, and turned back to the woman. “Sorry, where were you with the story, Lucina?”

 “Hey, I introduced you to her! The whole ‘mortal above the rest like Link,’ wasn’t it? They’re the two that catch your eye the most.” Wolf folded his arms. “You owe me.”

 “I believe you’ve forgotten that I’m goddess,” reminded Palutena, maintaining her smile as she whipped back to Wolf. “I don’t owe you anything.”

 “But don’t you want to help out a poor, troubled creature like me?”

 “You have me confused with the other goddess who takes in nature’s strays.”

 “Come on, I need to get somewhere where I can get lost with a partner of mine.”

 “Oh, him.” Palutena giggled. “That much I could arrange. Just give me a moment to get the Hands’ attention and permission.”

 “…Don’t you use your own powers here?”

 “Not quite. This place isn’t the same as my home.” Palutena tapped at the altar. “I can use some magic here, but the Hands are the ones in control.” She turned and raised her staff. “Ok, we should be good.”

 “Wait, that quick?”

 “I may be limited here, but I am a goddess.”

 A portal opened across the sky and Wolf gazed in at the castle and grass structures over lava. He smirked as he heard someone groan and crawl up the shrine.

 “Wolf!”

 “Thanks a bundle, then, goddess!” Wolf rushed through the portal. “Don’t keep me waiting, Fox!”

 “Get back here!”

 Running after Wolf, Fox disappeared through the portal as it sealed away from the heavenly skies. Palutena sighed and flipped her hair.

 “My apologies, Lucina.” The swordswoman gawked at her as she leaned against the altar. “Now, you went through time to catch up with Chrom, right? I think he’s with Robin past the tower now, if you want to go see those men…well, you know their bonds, I’m sure.”

 Jumping out of the portal over the castle and landing on the platform over the lava, Fox whirled around, spotting Wolf as he flipped down from a ledge past the palm trees.

 “Catch me if you can, McCloud!”

 “Damn it, Wolf!”

 Flipping past women with guns, with one blowing a kiss to the other, Fox and Wolf descended across the platforms, jumping down deeper into the cave.

 “Mind the mine carts, Fox,” cautioned Wolf.

 “What do you care?!”

 “A lot.”

 “What?!”

 “Come on, let’s—”

 “No, enough of this!”

 Tackling Wolf, the two canine pilots dropped past a burning wall and crashed down onto a tile ramp. Eying the track that ascended past the cannon, Wolf exhaled, and grunted as Fox pinned him to the floor.

 “Start talking, Wolf!” Fox growled. “What are you up to?”

 “Never thought you’d end up on top between us,” teased Wolf.

 “Wuh…what?!”

 “Lighten up, Fox.” Wolf pushed Fox from atop him. “Come on, let’s go somewhere else.”

 “Oh no, I didn’t chase you from one stage to another to just…talk!”

 “Hey, I’m the one that wanted to come here to do just that.”

 “…Come again?”

 “Nuh-uh.” Wolf wagged his finger. “Come on, follow me. Before we get run over…”

 Ambling down the ramp, Wolf beckoned Fox to follow. Raising an eyebrow, glancing back for the cart, Fox shook his head and followed Wolf down the ramp. Ahead of them, past the platforms before the castle, stood a boy in an orange tunic.

 “Oh, isn’t that one of the Links?” Fox waved to him.

 “Fox, hold on—”

 “Hello there, Link!”

 Twisting around, the boy grinned happily. He plucked a bomb out and hopped forward at Wolf and Fox.

 “…Does he normally do that?”

 “No!”

 “Didn’t think so.”

 Jumping out, Wolf kicked the boy back, knocking his bomb away. Grinning still, the boy hopped up, and bounced away along the ramp of railway tracks.

 “Kids with bombs are scary, but that was outright terrifying,” murmured Wolf. “You good, Fox?”

 “What was wrong with him?!”

 “That wasn’t actually a Link, Fox.” Wolf scratched his head. “Aren’t you used to this world, yet?”

 “You say that like you are!”

 “Kind of am.”

 “How?!”

 “We’re Spirits, Fox. It’s not like we’re actually who we are.”

 “…Come again?”

 “Look, I’m not explaining this on the tracks.” Wolf jumped down and past the buried castle walls. “Let’s go this way.”

 Raising an eyebrow, Fox followed Wolf along, and they walked past the castle’s pillars. Ahead, beyond the platform, were a man and monster.

 “Isn’t that Bowser and Mario?” Fox pointed at the two.

 “Don’t try greeting them,” warned Wolf. He glanced at the pair and exhaled, brushing his head. “Well, at least they’re the usual two.”

 “Huh?”

 “Just shut up and listen.”

 Blinking, Fox looked from Wolf and back to the duo. Mario watched as Bowser took his hand, and guided him to the tiled platforms below the lava ceiling.

 “Come on, just look at that!” Bowser grinned to Mario. “That’s such a look for my castle, and it’d be perfect!”

 “While I admit that a lava infested castle sounds like it should belong to you, I’m pretty happy that it’s not yours.”

 “Mario, come on.” Bowser lifted his arms and flopped them down. ���This place should be mine, not Dedede’s or Kirby’s or whoever.”

 “Meta Knight’s?”

 “Sure, him. Though he owns a whole battleship, so he doesn’t care about this place.”

 “I’m not sure if any of them do, really.”

 “All the more reason it should have been my castle!”

 “You did get a few places that look like it,” reminded Mario. He guided Bowser back by the hand, and pointed at the castle walls. “Besides, look at the windows of…are those stained glass or something else?”

 “They look like clay.”

 “Weird.” Mario shook his head. “Anyway! This place isn’t really the best location, is it? It’s so hard to find anyone around here, it’s too spacious, and would you really want your castle to be so marred by tons of lava spots where touching them could practically kill you?”

 “…That literally sounds like my castle, so, yes.”

 “Ugh, Bowser…” Mario brushed a hand over his head. “Ok, look, I admit that you should have a better place to call your home—”

 “Thank you!”

 “But, you and I can share nicer spots around the Mushroom Kingdom stages.” Mario took both of Bowser’s hands into his own. “Isn’t that be nicer than, I don’t know, a huge mess like this place?”

 “Maybe.” Bowser sighed. “I just don’t like sharing them with…let’s see, three princesses, one of my plants, each of the seven Koopalings, the alternate reality version of you as a doctor—”

 “Ok, it’s strange, I know, but we have a lot of places that feel like home for all of us,” reasoned Mario. “Out of those places, you and I can always find somewhere that’s just right for, well, us.”

 “…And Junior, and your brother—”

 “Bowser.”

 “Yeah, those two I don’t mind as much.” He chuckled as Mario nudged his stomach. “Sorry, sorry. You’re right, I just don’t like admitting it.” He shrugged. “So, you want to get out of here?”

 “We need to wait for someone to get us out of here.” Mario scratched behind his head. “Besides, you said you wanted me to model some of the new costumes for you?”

 “Ooh, can you bring those out from here?” Bowser clapped his hands together. “Your wedding tuxedo is a lot hotter than I like admitting to.”

 “Wait, what?!”

 Mario and Bowser spiraled around as Wolf groaned, pushing Fox down from their sight.

 “These places have no privacy at all,” muttered Bowser. Louder, he grumbled out, “What do you want, Wolf?”

 “Nothing from you, Bowser.” He sheepishly grinned. “Just admiring you and yours.”

 “Super. Admire us another time and give us our minute alone, will you?”

 “Sure thing, buddy.”

 “We’re not buddies.”

 “We’re definitely buddies.”

 “Get lost, already.”

 Chuckling, Wolf slid down from the pillar and pulled Fox away. Tugging his arm free, Fox pointed back in the couple’s direction.

 “I have several questions.”

 “Spirits, Fox.” Wolf rolled his visible eye, and ambled away from the buried castle walls. “That literally answers everything.”

 “It does not!”

 “We’re Spirits that are based on the lot of our different universes and all mashed together here to fight and mingle otherwise, while also preventing the fabric of reality from being disrupted and causing a calamity across all of our homes from our joining.” Wolf’s shoulders slumped as Fox’s mouth parted open. “How does that not make sense to you?”

 “You sounded smart.”

 “Ouch. Thanks.”

 Spotting the Young Link in orange ride a mine cart down holding a bomb, Wolf grabbed Fox again, and dragged him across the platforms in front of the castle. They waited as the mine cart crashed on the platform above them, rattled off past, and crashed into the walls behind them.

 “Is he going to be—?”

 “He’s fine.” Wolf tugged Fox on again. “Quit acting like you don’t know how this place works, Fox. Didn’t you lob a monkey off the bridge earlier?”

 “You saw that?”

 “Hey, you were supposed to be chasing me.” Wolf chuckled. “Had to know why you stopped.”

 “He was acting like Oikonny from home.”

 “Ah.” Wolf shook his head. “I don’t know why multiple versions of me ever even recruited him. I get that it was mostly Andross’s meddling, but—”

 “Speaking of, we’re through, by the way.” Fox pulled from Wolf again. “You helped them with killing my father, and you’re still my enemy.”

 “Based on him, not him,” reiterated Wolf. “Is it that hard to get?”

 “Doesn’t matter to me.” Fox shook his head. “You’re a Wolf through and through after all.”

 “A Wolf that has memories of multiple lives and origins, Fox.” He chased after Fox, as the two hopped past a platform near blue and purple crystals. “There’s a world, a galaxy, where you and I have allied with one another. Multiple times.”

 “That’s got to be a lie.”

 “It’s not!” Fox turned back as Wolf paused. “It…it’s not. You know about that…uh, that alternate version of the Lylat that Krystal yammers about?”

 “You know her name?”

 “She’s one of us!” Wolf shuddered. “Even if I do find that creepy to admit out loud.”

 “Go on.”

 “Huh? Oh.” Wolf cleared his throat. “That place, the one with the, um…the Aparoids.” Wolf took Fox’s hand. “You and I were side-by-side in that place.”

 “And…you remember that?”

 “Well…no.”

 “So much for multiple memories—”

 “Look, Fox.” Wolf watched as Fox jumped down by the bottom section of crystal shards, and hopped after him. “Please, I’m trying to—”

 “Trying what, Wolf?!” Fox spiraled around. “What do you even want?”

 “This version of me holds the memories of a Wolf that held some kind of basis on that Wolf.” Wolf dragged his claw over his face. “That sounded so much better in my head.”

 “Did it?”

 “Fox, the Wolf that was a Trophy, from this universe…” Wolf paused and straightened his posture. “You know how we’re all assigned numbers and we’re meant to be based on fighters that were previously from this place, right?”

 “What, like how I’m Number 7 out of…however many we are again?”

 “Yes, yes, that!” Wolf grinned, more genuinely than his usual kind. “You’re Number 7, and I’m Number 44. We’re the basis of fighters that the Master Hand has had clash before in this place. And I don’t get that very much, but I know of the Wolf that was a Trophy before me, one that was lost years ago.”

 “They lost a few before, and only some were found during the last gathering of everyone,” recalled Fox. Wolf raised an eyebrow to him, and Fox turned away. “I paid attention to the stories, I just…don’t really understand them that well. Or the ones that keep calling me one of the Original 8, like that should mean something to me.”

 “It does in this universe, Fox.” Wolf grabbed his hand again. “And that’s the weird thing, because I know you have some of those memories instilled into you, just like I do.”

 “Uh…well, I sort of—”

 “You do! I already know you do!” Wolf pointed back. “That’s why you can pick up on so many names and recognize faces quickly. Mario’s like an old friend even though he looks nothing like us, right?”

 “He…feels that way, sure, but—”

 “But nothing!” Wolf shook Fox’s hands again. “This is what I mean. These versions of us, we’re…we are, but we’re not who we are.” He smiled again. “That means we have the freedom to pursue what we want when we’re not part of the battles, not part of the show.” His lips curled up further. “Why do you think we’ve hurried past so many pairs earlier?”

 “What? Those princesses, Mario with Bowser—?”

 “Even Falco crushing on some weird type interest he developed.” Wolf nodded. “That’s all part of the freedoms we do have here, the will to choose how we go forward from who we’re supposed to shadow, and who we want to be.”

 “That’s a really weird concept.”

 “Is it, though?” Wolf folded his arms. “Come on, don’t act like you feel entirely comfortable around even Falco.”

 “He’s my good friend and teammate,” defended Fox. “We belong together.”

 “There’s nothing about him that seems odd?” Wolf snorted. “Besides the crushes.”

 “Well…not weird enough—”

 “But there are differences to what you think you know about him!” Wolf pointed at Fox. “And, and, he has those weird lines that he brings up that he swears up and down—”

 “That he’s used countless times before,” finished Fox. He blinked and gazed at the shards. “…Like it’s something we’ve talked about plenty of times already, but I don’t even remember him saying them.”

 “Exactly!”

 “Still…” Fox folded his arms. “I don’t think…I mean, we are like that, but…Falco—”

 “No, no, Falco’s served his purpose for my point, leave him to his one-sided lusting.” Fox opened his mouth, but Wolf covered it. “He barely knows any of them, and I know for a fact that King K. Rool has eyes more for Ridley and Donkey Kong over Falco, so that’s definitely a lost cause.” Wolf dropped his hand away. “Us so-called villains tend to get lumped together, even though you’ve already seen that I’m not exactly the best of friends with them.”

 “Bowser likes you.”

 “No he doesn’t.”

 “He could’ve been a lot angrier at us before.” Fox smirked. “I think he does like you.”

 “And again, you feel like you know him, don’t you?” Wolf placed his hands on his hips as Fox’s arms fell, and he slowly nodded. “It’s because your Spirit is imbued with the memories of the Fox, or the Foxes, that came before you.”

 “It really doesn’t sound any more normal the more you repeat that,” deadpanned Fox.

 “Fine, sorry.” Wolf shrugged. “Anyway, my point is that, when we’re not being forced to face off against each other…why don’t you and I…get to know one another better, as we are here?”

 “…You have no friends.”

 “Not really where I was going with that.”

 “You want stable friends that are more familiar to you than your villain buddies.”

 “Sort of on the right track, yes.” Wolf sighed. “Fox, whether we like to admit it or not, we’re close, and connected.” Fox opened his mouth. “Yes we are, don’t argue it.” Fox shut his mouth. “Look, can we just…try something different?”

 “For what? For us, or for…for who Fox and Wolf are supposed to be?”

 “Uh…both?” Wolf scratched his cheek and nodded. “Both, let’s go with both.”

 “So…what do you want to be?” Fox huffed and rolled his eyes. “Like Mario and Bowser back there?”

 “Why not?”

 “Because we’re not a couple!”

 “Why not?”

 “Because we’re…we’re…”

 “Not enemies.” Wolf held up his finger and wagged it. “We’re supposed to be, especially when we’re on display. But who we are…who we want to be…we don’t have to follow that design set for us.”

 “So, what, you want to be boyfriends?” Fox shot up an eyebrow. “What, am I supposed to believe that you’ve been attracted to me all this time?”

 “…Well—”

 “Oh, come on.”

 “You’ve got really pretty eyes. Emeralds.”

 “Wolf.”

 “A really nice figure all around too—”

 “Wolf!”

 “What? I’m catching you up to speed.”

 “But…but we’re not…” Fox’s cheeks fired up. “…You really like my eyes?”

 “Sure, the eyes are the compliment you liked.”

 “Wolf!”

 “Yes, ok?!” Wolf laughed and placed a claw on Fox’s shoulder. “…Yes.” He sighed. “I can’t get rid of this…this gnawing feeling in my mind. I want to be with you, and for some reason…I don’t know, being at your side feels…right.”

 “…Which Wolf is that one based on?”

 “I don’t know.” Wolf shrugged. “I don’t know if it’s the past Wolf’s thoughts, the current Wolf’s thoughts, some foreign iteration of me, or…or if it’s what I came up with myself.” Wolf sighed. “I just…I feel some weird sense of peace with you. Familiarity. Nostalgia. I don’t know what it is, but it calms me.” He sighed, brushing his arm over his reddened face. “You ever get that?”

 “…Usually with Falco, honestly, but…” Fox rubbed behind his neck. “I’d be lying if I denied having those feelings around you too.”

 “…So…”

 “…This is absolutely insane, but…”

 “Is Fox McCloud thinking about a life with me?”

 “Thinking about it.” Fox groaned as Wolf beamed. “Don’t make me regret that.”

 “You won’t, promise.”

 Wolf kissed Fox’s cheek, to which Fox jumped. He backed away as Wolf tilted his head at him.

 “What? Boyfriends kiss.”

 “We’re not boyfriends!”

 “Not yet.”

 “…Yet…”

 “Fox?”

 “…Somehow…this feels…”

 “…Familiar?”

 “Yeah.” Fox frowned. “Why?”

 “I don’t know.” Wolf touched his chest. “My heart pounds harder around you than anyone else, but that feels somehow like it’s supposed to be that way.”

 “When I’m with you, I just thought that my fur standing on edge was because we’re supposed to be enemies.” Fox gazed down. “But it feels that way now, and I don’t feel like fighting with you, so…that’s not the case, is it?”

 “Maybe it is. And maybe we’re perverting who we’re meant to be after all.”

 “But then why should we do it?”

 “Because it’s our choice.” Wolf closed the distance between them. “Maybe you don’t want to be with me, Fox, and that’s fine. But I like this, because we get to pick that we want to be together. And nothing feels like a greater middle finger to what destiny dictates us to be than to being with someone who’s meant to be your enemy.”

 “…Where the hell did you pull all of that from?”

 “Ah, well, I, uh…I might have listened to Chrom and Robin talking about their feelings and stories and…I don’t know, how their big romance started.” Wolf shrugged. “Everyone thought Chrom could only feel that way about the woman Robin, but he acted like that around the man Robin as well, or one form of him did, so…the two of them are why a lot of us questioned who we can be.”

 “…So Robin and Chrom’s relationship spawned all of this?”

 “No, not quite…but it did help a lot of us wonder.” Wolf cleared his throat. “At least, I did happen to pick up on it from them, and then went around, you know, observing—”

 “Spying.”

 “Not really…ok, fine, yes, I spied on others.” Wolf shrugged. “Sue me. It helped me come up with all of these thoughts.”

 “…How many others?”

 “Not that many.”

 “All of the other villains?”

 “Well, a lot of them, namely Bowser and K. Rool, but not all of them.” Wolf groaned. “Can we just get back to what we want to do?” Wolf rested his arms on Fox’s shoulders. “Tell me: do you want to try this, whatever we have…do you want to be with me?”

 “That’s…oddly polite of you.”

 “I’m a jerk, but I’ve got a little bit of heart.” Wolf chuckled. “It’s just buried away.”

 “Like this castle?”

 “Um…sure.”

 “Ok then.” Fox slowly exhaled. “Then…maybe I can…unearth it?”

 They paused for a moment. Then, Wolf cracked a smile and snorted.

 “Don’t—”

 “What?”

 “You’re ruining my only moment.”

 “That was cute.”

 “Oh, shut up.”

 “Make me.”

 “Gladly.”

 Grabbing Wolf’s cheeks, Fox hesitated, and the two gazed at one another. Slowly, he guided his face into Wolf’s, as they closed their eyes, and pressed their lips together. Wolf wrapped his arms around Fox’s back, as Fox’s hands slid down Wolf’s face and around his shoulders. Gently, they broke apart, and opened their eyes, staring into one another again, and slightly smiling.

 “Finally.”

 Both pilots jerked forward and whirled around, glancing at the cliff above them. A white and purple cat rolled its eyes while a black and blue jackal lightly clapped his paws together.

 “That only took, what, an hour?”

 “Mewtwo, hush.”

 “How…how long were you listening?” Fox poked his head past Wolf’s, as the larger canine faced away from their interlopers. “And why are you still?”

 “You interrupted our date,” deadpanned Mewtwo. “The least Lucario and I could do was intrude on yours.”

 “Hush.” Lucario smiled to the pair below. “I thought the whole thing was really adorable. A great confession sequence, and a true proclamation of love! Your auras were dancing with such a delight when you finally came together—”

 “Quit overselling it, their minds were messes.”

 “It was sweet and sincere, Mewtwo.”

 “It was a disaster that was barely averted.”

 “Uh…thank…you?” Fox tilted his head. “…Are you two just going to stay up there, or…?”

 “No, we’re leaving.”

 “What?!”

 “Lucario, we’re leaving. You got to see them kiss, they’re a couple, we’re going somewhere else now.”

 “But…but we could do more cute things too!” Lucario tugged at his partner as Mewtwo drifted away. “Double date! Wouldn’t that be nice?”

 “If we get Incineroar and Greninja with us, we can.”

 “Ok, then a triple date!”

 “No, Lucario.”

 “But it’s creative! You like creative things!”

 “Not like that.”

 “But it uses imagination and your mind! Mewtwo, wait up! Can’t we talk a little more about this? Hey, wait for me!”

 Fox waited and listened as the two disappeared up the cave. He sighed and chuckled, returning his attention to Wolf.

 “So, uh…how’d it feel to have your favorite role reversed?”

 “I’m an asshole.”

 “It’s not that bad.”

 “Fox, you don’t get it.” Wolf buried his head into Fox’s shoulder. “Oh, I’ve done that so many times, and now…how could I have been such a foul, rotten—?”

 “You’re not going to change, are you?”

 “Nope, interloping is fun.” Wolf picked his head up and grinned. “That’s how I got you after me, isn’t it?”

 “That’s not…oh, forget it.” Fox tugged Wolf along. “Come on, let’s move up the cave and look for a nicer spot near the crystal shards.”

 “Isn’t this one good?”

 “Not with those giant spikes hanging off the wall, no.”

 “Giant…?” Wolf turned and his ears twitched. “Oh yeah, those.”

 “We should make like those other two and head somewhere else.” Fox pulled Wolf along. “Let’s go.”

 “Ha.” Wolf followed him along. “Lead the way, Fox.”

 Both smirked at one another as they climbed up the Great Cave, searching for a spot to settle for a little while. They held one another’s hands all the while, and remained together throughout the night.

Ha. Haha. Ahahahahaha! I...I never want to write the Smash universe again. Good lord, is this how Sakurai feels every time?

But yeah, I thought it would be fun to analyze Ultimate’s interpretation on the characters, use my past one-shots of the fighters being reflections of their actual basis characters, and came up with this! ...Please don’t look at me like that, I kind of tried, ok?

It’s not always easy to pair off enemies, especially when the canon gets rewritten to screw you over ones that people love to see clash, but I thought I’d take the bait and go for it. Besides, at least I tried putting a little bit of logic as to how and why Fox/Wolf could be a thing besides them being cute together.

Please don’t hate me, I really, really tried.

Anyway, it was fun pulling that one out for Smash. And I think it featured a good number of pairs that @mrnerdling and @matsutzu would like and/or appreciate to some capacity, as well as another to satisfy myself, and another to barely reference something I made for another friend! One that probably won’t read this unless I literally tell them about it, oops.

So...trivia nonsense time!

Stages used:

That first one? That’s the stupid cliffside that keeps popping up since Smash 4 decided that this was a place where things happen. Or since Brawl’s ending, I guess? I’m not sure which one to blame, but Ultimate decided to bring it back, so I decided to use it! Bonus points: it’s also the living incarnation of the character select screen, because yes.

Palutena’s Temple. Because let’s be real, a goddess like her would totally have a party in her temple, which is just called Angel Land in Japan, I think, and that explains why there’s only one actual temple there. The more you know. Anyway! It’s one of my favorite giant map stages, and I used it previously, but I figured, screw it, it didn’t involve the whole map last time. So, clearly, I decided to one-up myself. Like an idiot amazing writer.

The Great Cave Offensive. That other mega map stage that...honestly, do people like playing this stage? I love Kirby to bits and pieces, but...it’s really a tacky servicing to both the mode from Super Star Ultra, a mess to play on, and just kind of...I don’t know, not great all around. Still, I figured I could try using it, since Bowser’s Castle isn’t available because of this hellhole it’s unique and a worthwhile challenge to include in a writing piece as a possible intimate locale. Plus, I have a very fond place in my heart for crystal shards. You know the ones.

Characters/Ships:

Obviously, the main pairing is Fox/Wolf. Because that’s what both of my friends like and it’s doable pairing without breaking my brain over crossovers really making too difficult of leaps in terms of sensibility. It’s not my top pick from the Star Fox universe, but mine are trashy, and this one is a fandom favorite that also is in Smash, so of course, a clear winner.

Falco and his embarrassing, one-sided crushes on big boys. Why that? You know, I thought early on with this, “Gee whiz, what’s Falco gonna do while Fox and Wolf run around with each other? He’s like the only bird in the game.” And then I remembered King Dedede existed. And then somewhere along the way, a wire in my brain snapped and I came up with, “Hurr durr, Falco/Dedede is a doable ship because blue birds, Smash makes it happen.” After that, another wire snapped, and I somehow came up with Falco liking big dudes. No, I can’t explain that one. You thought I had something clever for it, and I might have at one point, but it’s lost to me as of writing. And you think I know what I’m doing. No you don’t, no one does.

Greninja/Incineroar, a cute pairing that I’ve developed an obsessive interest in thanks to Incineroar’s Classic campaign. They’re actually pretty cute, both starters, both part-Dark, and both clearly not given enough attention together, so, screw it! I paired them off. I think this is the...you know what? I don’t know how manieth pairing. It’s number I lost track of how many people I put with Greninja. He’s flexible, sue me. I also like ninjas, but that has nothing to do with it. Ever. He’s just a really cute, quiet boyfriend for the equally cute, louder and showier Incineroar. They’re perfect. Why don’t people enjoy these two together? It’s because of Lucario, isn’t it? Lucario literally gets everyone in the Pokemon universe, the shipped king of the franchise, everyone’s favorite...

Palutena/Lucina, a fan-preferred pair that I didn’t get to give enough attention like I wanted to, because I really, really enjoyed writing Palutena’s sass, and Lucina just didn’t really fit into that. Lucina is a good girl, with a wholesome heart that acted to help save her dad, his friends, her friends, their kingdom, and all the world from an evil dragon. Palutena lives to drag Pit, Dark Pit, Medusa, Hades, Viridi, and literally everyone she meets down to the ground. This is her truest self, and that’s the reason we all love her. At least, that’s how I lie to myself about people liking her. Bonus points: crossover ship!

Peach/Daisy/Rosalina, the threesome pairing of the story that I barely touched on. And...no, I don’t have an excuse here. Daisy made it into Smash after years of being a palette swap. Like, she deserved that so much. And her girlfriends would be so happy to have her. And yeah, there was a part of my brain that said, “Daisy’s the kind of girl to use the word ‘girlfriends’ referring to her friends.” And then I did it again, but then made it so that girlfriends were more than just gal pals. You’re welcome.

Ridley/King K. Rool, a pair that I mentioned via Wolf, because they’re a duo that people have wanted in Smash for years, and, let’s be real, they’d probably be friends that might notice there’s something more blossoming, and not just because K. Rool reminds Ridley of his buddy Kraid, but because there’s a magical, special feeling between them, and it really needs to be addressed by the fandom at large, because I feel they could really make great things...

Bowser/Mario, my flagship pairing that I have been waiting to stuff into another story for the past three years at minimum. No, there is no logic behind this. But you know what? Bowser’s Classic clear congratulations screen has him kidnap Mario. In his wedding tux. Away from Peach. So, checkmate everybody, someone on the Smash team absolutely read my fanfic, and they convinced Sakurai to add that in. That is absolutely a thing. You all get to deal with a version of Bowsario being canon. You’re freaking welcome. Also, both of my friends like this pair too, so up yours, I get triple bonus points for that, because I’m the one that reminds them it exists every day. Every. Day.

Mewtwo/Lucario, that pair at the end that vaguely references my other Smash gift if you squint really hard. Ok, no, it doesn’t. I just wanted to shamelessly add in another pair of Pokemon. Because I love Pokemon, and I love that they have the most fighters on the roster. Cry about it all you want, haters. Pokemon wins. They always win. They are tripping with representation, and you all know it. Also, this pair shuts down people that hated on Lucario back during Brawl days, so it gives me special pleasure to consistently include it.

Robin/Chrom, the mostly-mentioned-only gay pair that helped me come up with, “Screw what destiny says, we’re gay” as a general story theme. I could have made it straight Chrobin. I could have, but, that goes so very hard against my ethics of...of...screw it, I like gay Chrobin better, their supports were cuter together, and there was a gay Fire Emblem Awakening hack that made their pairing so fulfilling to me. Chrom most definitely deserved to be in Smash, his daughter and husband needed him, so you haters can go away! ...They’re a beautiful couple, ok? I have like one friend who endlessly supports them elsewhere, and that’s good.

Bayonetta/Zero Suit Samus, as the blink-and-you’ll-miss-them pairing that you all most definitely glanced over because I only addressed them as women with guns. And it was definitely not Bayonetta who blew the kiss, because Samus is the one who...ok, fine, it was Bayo, shove off. And it was another attempt at a crossover ship, which I didn’t have nearly enough of. And I would’ve added more too, if it weren’t for that meddling clock ticking away and reminding me that I don’t have eternity to mix and match the Smash cast!

Pikachu, the character who no one would’ve expected to talk if Deadpool wasn’t making a movie about it. I firmly believe that only Deadpool could pull that off. No, not the actor. Deadpool literally came to life and managed to get Detective Pikachu off the ground. Anyway, it has nothing to do with me liking Pokemon a whole lot.

Pichu, another Pokemon that appeared and had nothing to do with me liking Pokemon a whole lot, and isn’t just the most adorable thing to appear and I’m so happy he’s back, you guys, I’m just...so...so happy.

Andrew Oikonny, a Spirit that embodied Diddy Kong and gave us the rare opportunity to see Fox display his top tier dominance in action. I mean, his violent side. Yes, that.

Poppy Bros. Jr., a Spirit that took form as Young Link and probably left a lot of you scratching your heads. It has nothing to do with me liking Young Link, his return, and/or wanting to add a lunatic bomb-thrower. It absolutely has nothing to do with me really, really wishing Bomberman was a playable character on the roster. If Hudson still existed, he...ok, he was never likely to make it, and I’m honestly amazed that Konami agreed to have him as an Assist Trophy character.

Samus, you know, with the armor, because I think I mentioned her for like two seconds with Pikachu and Fox’s segment. Like, physically being there. And separate from Zero Suit Samus. They’re totally different characters by the way. Metroid.

Master Hand, the godly being that I decided runs Smash Bros., probably like literally everyone else who writes Smash fanfic. Because, come on, the Hands absolutely run the show, right? Who else could? They don’t even get to be full villains anymore, because they’re always manipulated and because they’re our connection to the franchise as a whole. Master Hand represents the...get ready for this...spirit of Smash Bros. Boom, there it is! Look at that, I’m awesome.

Crazy Hand, that awkward kid twin for Master Hand that pretty much everyone goes out of their way to include, because honestly, we all love and relate to the crazy one.

Krystal, a frequently mentioned character that didn’t actually appear, but I decided to list her name individually since...she...you know, influenced some things. Like...multiverse. And...uh...that’s really it.

Mentioned: Kirby, Meta Knight, Shulk, Pit, Duck Hunt (the other bird of the roster is here!!), Link, you could make an argument for Toon Link, Wario, Bowser Jr. and the Koopalings lumped together, Luigi, and probably a handful more. Hell no, I did not even try to cram in the full roster, and yes, I absolutely wanted to try. And yes, I didn’t even include a bunch of my favorites, though I got a lot of them.

Items:

Haha, you’re hilarious. No, I wasn’t anywhere near including items. We didn’t watch actual fights. I don’t hate myself enough for that.

Music:

Probably something from youtube that I listened to and did not include in the story. Probably also from Smash. You’re welcome.

Good lord, is there always a huge credits list for things related to Smash? How do people honestly torment themselves by asking for more things to be added into a game franchise armed to the teeth with literally I can’t handle how much content? It’s wild.

Also, this is the best Smash game, we’re never going to top it, because they’ll probably cut back the roster after this, and I only ever wanted literally everyone in the series added in one Smash game.

Anyway! If you’re somehow still reading this, thank you very much, you’re a trooper! Especially @matsutzu and @mrnerdling, who I tagged multiple times to basically force them into reading all of this. You’re both welcome. And thank you very much for listening to me!

...That’s it. There’s no more here.

...Stop looking for after-credits shenanigans and go play Smash for yourselves.

[thehobbblog]

Entry #14

AIR SWEET AIR SWEET FRESH fucking underground bullshit air But at least it’s moving. As usual, the Underground as a whole is unimpressed with our actions. Life goes on, no matter what happened to the Moloch, or how silly we looked down there. All that matters is that we remember it, and we got some stuff. There was a nice example of how little anyone gives a shit, just outside. A Devily lady, on her way back from Exile. Said her “Companion” was a Daredevily. This made the party suspect, and the idiots got all in her face and berated her for like, six minutes. Apparently, Daredevelies are a thing that exist. They’re like Develies, but they get off on sinning. Or something. Or maybe they sinned so much that they’re mind and body changed. I dunno. The party seems to think they’re serious business, and Alice is still livid to the Violence one. I don’t think I wanna ask. In addition to existing, they have a settlement nearby. That if we were to go any further into the Exile, we’d have to pass through. So you know, windows up and don’t stop I guess. This Devily lady had a companion in the settlement, and made us swear not to kill him. We have no way of knowing which one is him, so I guess we’ll just not kill anyone. Regardless of Alice's whining. Anyway, we quit antagonizing the civilian, and she left. Avram finally got reception on his PAI, which buzzed to life. It’s cute, really. I like robots, and this was a tiny little AI. Promised to help. Avram installed Devily Google on the thing, and then we googled basically nothing important. And Anna hates birds, which is weird for a druid. Weylinn tried to embarrass me in front of the new guy, by calling me paranoid about not trusting the Sakko we saw at the camp. And then gallantly led the party in the wrong fucking direction back to Sakko’s camp. Where I was totally fucking right. Everyone’s gone, except Goldie and Geheim. Sakko wasn’t Sakko, it was VIolence. ANd now all the plants are tearing ass across the Underground, and we gotta get them. Because I missed the damn “Detect evil dudes” or whatever this bullshit I’m supposed to do. I fucking hate everything. Fortunately, real Sakko was there. To further embarrass us that we ever thought that Violence was Sakko; the guy’s like, twenty feet on each side. Carries a sword that’s just a sharpened chunk of mountain. I’m not fucking around, it’s like some childhood hero wandered out of storybook and started giving us orders. He’s giving us a cart, and lobsters. Lobsters that can carry the cart int he desert we’re about to go into. Desert lobsters, if you will. King was present, apparently he and Sakko know each other. King took responsibility for Alice’s curse, as well as Avram’s. Which is fucking curious, because not a day ago King had no earthly idea what Alice's curse belt did. Sakko tried to remove them both, but only got Alice’s curse cured. Which is fair, Avram sort of deserved his. But, enough fucking around. Sakko hadn’t forgotten why this all happened. He asked for apprentices on the radio, and I showed up. There were lessons I had to learn, and redemption with the plant people had to wait.  True to his storybook nature, the task was needlessly complicated, but presented straightforward. I was to make my way--alone-- to a group of Hidden Ones, and offer my assistance. Climb a mountain, get a Phoenix egg and come back. Putting aside for a moment that fucking phoenixes exist, and are apparently just like a thing that you can stumble into, how the fuck am I supposed to climb back down the mountain with a flaming egg? Nobody said this Paladin shit was supposed to be easy, but fuck me, you know? Well, I was off. Made it to the cliffside, met the Hidden Ones. Apparently their bugs were getting upset, and rhythmically pounding on their mountain side. Said that if I were to remove the phoenix egg, they’d stop. Sounds cool, right? I get a Phoenix egg, and they get to not have a mountain fall on them? Fucking scary they have bugs that can knock over a mountain, and they just raise those bitches. But you know I’m not one to judge. I am absolutely one to judge. Stupid fucking bug farmers and thier big ass murder bugs gonna have to learn to solve their own problems. Or at least act grateful when I solve their stuff.

One of them looked alright actually. There was a lonely bat dude staring off the cliffside, sort of lost. Introduced myself, told him that if he hears me screaming not to fret, Paladins being a pillar of strength and all. And then I climbed the fucking cliff in full fucking armor. I’m glad I didn’t bring the Corbin, because it sucked super hard. On the other hand, I scaled a fucking cliff in full fucking armour, so that was cool.  The murder bugs were on top of the cliff. Like I was told, they didn’t attack because I kept eye contact. However, these bugs were familiar. You remember the Dungeon Breaker bug, that scared the shit out of us in the Halls? They were like, bigger ones of those. Didn’t wanna fuck with it, so I left. Got to the top of the mountain, found the egg. Luckily it wasn’t on fire or anything, unluckily I wasn’t the first one to the egg. There was a Devily there, waiting. Unlike most Develys, this one was smiling. Had one horn. Had a pure vacume of all moral radiation, a whole lot like what I got off the fake Sakko. “Great” I thought “I’mma bout to die to give Alice a less petty reason to chase this fucker.” Well, no sense going out like a hero in his company. If nobody’s around I’d rather go out like a bitch, honestly. We stood around for a while, and had a discussion about how much pain one would ‘hypothetically’ be in if they were thrown off the mountain, and how pretty it would be to die there. I tried to get the guy to yodel for me, actually. He was using the shit excuse of being a Devily who’s really into mountains so I tried to roll with that. Ended up just annoying him. Like, to the point he was clenching his teeth and shivering. I guess Paladins aren’t supposed to fuck about when they get the chance to be the big hero. In his plan, I supposed to declare him a sinner and smite him like a hero, or pick up the egg and get pushed off a cliff like an idiot. I guess he didn’t know me very well. He eventually broke character, and we got to talk honestly for a bit. He made me two promises. 1. He was going to beat the everloving shit out of me 2. I was going to die I asked if he’d reconsider throwing me off the mountain, but he was a little more interesting in the “tearing my entrails out” thing. And the fight began. He popped a potion, whatever that does. And I stabbed him. He was pretty impressed, actually. Apparently he took me for some sort of bitch who lets everyone solve his problems for him. I’m not that kid anymore. I stabbed him a second time, Deeper.  I’m such a fucking idiot right? “Just stab the bad guy, Hobbs. It isn’t hard.” And it wasn’t. He scratched my face, chest and arms in a flurry of strikes. I smiled, I laughed and I bled. He was invigorated by this, taunting me and my hopelessness. I stabbed him a third time. Twisted the blade. I get it. I’m a fucking idiot. I get that I overthink things. And I get that I can’t hide behind indecision forever. I can’t fuck around and pretend that thinking about problems is the morally right thing to do. People are in danger, and I’m responsible for them. I decided Violence was going to learn one thing today: what it means for me to carry my sister’s name. And then he ripped my throat out. The leathery bastard just kept speeding up. He had such a flair for the dramatic, I could always strike him, but the asshole could just move so much in so little time. Without a shield, or neck armor I was an open book. Claws cut flesh, and I choked on blood. I backed up, used the Paladin power to heal myself. I needed to breath if I were to hit this guy. My heels were at the edge of the cliffside. And Violence tore into me again. Promising that if I could just survive, he’d let me go. How gracious.  And I didn’t die. So he kept his word. This Violence guy, he means what he says. He said he was going to kick the shit out of me, and he did. He said he’d let me go if I put up a fight, and he did.  He gave me advice. I’m not sure I should be listening. But I did. I took it to heart, and for that reason I won’t share it. You didn’t earn it like I did. Fuck it’s beautiful up here. I got a picture actually, I’ll upload it when I figure it out.  I think I could live here. Wake up every day to this. Well, the bat people would mind. Maybe I could just die here. Fall asleep, staring at the open expanse of what could have been. All of it equally possible, nobody blames me for not doing it. I didn’t die up there. But I almost wish I did. After a good long sit, I got up. I wasn’t missing anything important anymore, and I was alone with the egg. The egg that wasn’t a phoenix egg, because Violence had planned this. The egg that was planted there by the bat people, as a Maguffin to have me killed. The egg I was taking anyway, because I fucking earned it. The daydreamer bat showed up, actually. Explained the whole thing. He assured me that it wasn’t personal, that his people needed the money Violence gave them for this stunt. And I really didn’t care. I didn’t care if I died, and I didn’t care I was still here. I had a job to do, and he needed forgiveness. I gave him the forgiveness, and he showed me the way down without climbing the mountain.  I got to camp, everyone was fine. Only Sakko cared about how it went. Alice got riled up about Violence being there, and started her “I’m really the good one here” shit. Sakko healed me up, and taught me a proper lesson. He taught me that patience is a virtue, and one not to be wasted. That forgiving the bat people was a mistake, and if I were to forgive Violence I’d be a fool. But I really only had enough energy for one lesson today. .