#anyways these two are so cute. and tumblr ate my original queued post so I’m posting now

[knight-commander]

OCKISS WEEK - DAY THREE

Siavash & Emery

this one definitely fits the prompt “rain” 😌 i originally had something else written for these too but after the post from @dujour13 yesterday I just had to do this. It got a little out of hand. Sorry :3c

If Siavash knew what was good for him, he wouldn’t answer the door.

That was Emery’s hope, because a part of him was terrified of what would happen if it did swing open and he had to look Sia in the eyes. Had he cut his hair? Changed his style? Would he smell the same? A few months could change an entire life, and he’d been gone for seven of them.

The rain hadn’t stopped for days, and Emery was soaked to the bone, because neither had he. He had pushed Mánath further than ever before to make it to Siavash’s door, and now that he was there, he couldn’t work up the nerve to walk up the steps.

What was a promise to wait? Was it worth anything? Doubts flitted across his mind, and then guilt swiftly followed. He shouldn’t be accusing Siavash of anything; he was the one who had left, after all. Even after being asked not to. He was the one who should be left out in the rain.

But Tiger was bundled in his arms, and so was a poorly salvaged bouquet of sodden flowers, and at least for their sakes, he had to give this a try. Emery squared his shoulders, the weight of his armor bearing down on him, and walked up the three stone steps.

The knock was gentler than he intended. Cowardly. He hoped Siavash didn’t hear it and so that he could chalk this up to a failed attempt that they could mutually walk away from, and he could just turn around and spare Sia the—

The door swung open.

Bleary-eyed Siavash stood there, rubbing idly at his face as he held the door ajar. A flash of lightning and a rumble of thunder caused Tiger to leap from Emery’s arms, rushing inside to warmth before either of them had a chance to react. Sheepishly, Emery looked back up at Siavash.

Gods, that wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that even after seven months, Siavash was just as beautiful as he remembered. Sleepy, confused, and wearing a mismatched shirt and pants from being disturbed, but beautiful all the same. His blond hair was tousled, his lips pursed into something near to a pout.

“Emery?” Sia’s voice was rough from sleep, but he could still hear that honey-smooth purr he’d fallen in love with. “What are you doing here?”

Panic began to set in again. “I-I know it’s the middle of the might, but I—“

“You’re soaking wet,” Siavash cut him off. Emery stuttered over the rest of his sentence as Sia wrapped him in some coat he kept hanging by the door and dragged him inside. Emery was pretty sure the coat was worth more than he was, but he didn’t say that out loud, either. “And you’re freezing. We need to get you out of your armor.”

“It’s only some rain,” Emery protested, but the warmth of Siavash’s home left him shivering in comparison to the cold and wet he had dragged in from outside.

It wasn’t long before Siavash had Emery sitting warm and dry by the fire, dressed in some loose cotton clothes and wrapped up in the fluffiest blanket that the bard could find. He gratefully accepted the cup of tea that was offered to him—lavender and chamomile, his favorite—and found himself pleasantly surprised when Siavash settled in next to him on the floor, comfortable as if no time had passed at all.

Emery couldn’t resist pressing up against Siavash in return.

“Now,” Sia broke the silence, carefully, in a tone Emery knew meant that he was about to test the waters. “You know I love to see you, Emery, but it is the middle of the night.”

“I am aware,” Emery said between nervous sips of his tea. “I hadn’t intended to intrude upon your sleep in this way. I just rode straight from Cheliax, and I didn’t think I would hit the storm, or that it would be so late, and—“

“Emery.” Siavash brushed his hand across his cheek, and he raised his head to meet Sia’s eyes. “You weren’t due to be on leave for another three months. You said that in your last letter.”

Tell him the truth! Tell him you were wrong!

Emery parsed his tongue across his lips and glanced away. “I wanted to surprise you.”

“Is that all?”

“…No,” he sighed, shoulders heaving with the effort. Although he tilted his cheek into Sia’s touch, he closed his eyes rather than look him in the eyes again. “I… I left. I took them up on the honorable discharge they’d offered at the end of the Crusade, stayed to sort out the paperwork, and left as soon as it was official.”

Emery could feel Siavash’s thumb brush gently across his cheek, but fear kept his eyes shut.

“You… did?” Siavash asked. “When it was first offered, you were adamant that you wanted to stay with the Order of the Pyre.”

Emery made sure he turned his face away from Siavash before he opened his eyes; he stared ponderously into the fire instead. When he raised his hand, he could see the years of accumulated burns from his Reckonings scarred all along his forearm. For the first time in a long time, there was no compulsion to hold himself aloft over the flames.

“I was wrong,” he said softly. “I was wrong, and you were right. I was going back to what was familiar because I was scared. Scared of… everything, I guess. Everything being all… different. I don’t know. It’s hard to say.”

Emery felt warm arms shift around him and pull him close, and he was barely able to slide his cup onto the nearby table. He looked up to see Siavash beaming down at him, and it was so infectious and familiar and gods he missed it so much that he couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Sia murmured. “I understand. And I’m just glad that you’re here—soaking wet at my doorstep or otherwise.”

“You’re not funny,” Emery said through a mirthful chuckle. “Poor Tiger was more wet than I was.” The cat in question had curled up in the plush chair nearby, purring louder than the thunder outside.

“But you didn’t see you,” Siavash countered, flicking Emery’s chin up with a gentle tap of his finger. He leaned in. “Hair all stuck to your face, eyes all wide. You looked like a drowned rat.”

“You think you’re charming?” Emery asked softly, closing the distance between them. Tea forgotten on the table with the sodden flowers, he braced his hand against Siavash’s chest as their lips met. Sia was as warm and sweet as he remembered, and his reciprocation was delicate, as if he might scare Emery off.

Siavash’s touch traced down his arm before clasping his free hand, and he was the one to pull away from the kiss first. Emery could’ve gotten lost in his eyes if it weren’t for the furrow of his brow.

“Does this mean you’re staying?” Siavash asked.

“If you’ll have me,” Emery said. “I know it’s not the proper way, showing up at your doorstep in the middle of the night. I thought the flowers might endear you to the thought of letting me stay, at least just for one—“ He found himself cut off as Siavash raised his hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of it.

“I missed you,” Siavash said. “And your smile.”

Emery could feel his heart pounding uselessly against his ribs, could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks, combating the dark circles under his eyes. He looked away, still grinning.

He remembered the first time Siavash had kissed him like that—it felt like a lifetime ago in those distant stables. Emery still harbored the same hopes deep inside, and Sia’s eyes still harbored that same addictive adoration that would make anyone’s insides jump.

“I missed you, too. More than anything else,” he said. “I don’t know what is in store for me now. Now that I’m not… knight-commander, now that my father is dead. Whatever it is, though, I want it to be with you.”

Suddenly his world spun, and Emery found himself on his back, cushioned between Siavash and the soft blanket underneath him. He laughed, watching the dark mirth of Sia’s eyes reflect the firelight.

“What are you doing, hm?” He asked, but Sia’s teasing kisses upon his hand and down his scarred wrist didn’t stop.

Siavash paused in his kisses just long enough to answer.

“Making up for lost time. No better time to start than now.”

“Won’t we have plenty of time for that?” Emery asked, but his voice softened with a sigh. Siavash pressed kiss after kiss down to his elbow before switching to the other arm, granting it the same treatment.

He wasn’t sure when his shirt came off or when one of his hands got tangled in the silken strands of Siavash’s hair, but Emery keened softly when Sia’s lips found their way to add a warm kiss atop the scar that split down the center of his chest. A final Reckoning, of sorts. His tangled hand tightened into a fist, and he heard Siavash’s hearty laugh echo in the space between their warm bodies.

Siavash lifted his head up just enough to peer at him; cast against the golden firelight, Emery knew he had made the right choice. No pyre could ever come close to being so beautiful.

He didn’t know what the morning would bring. As Siavash pressed their lips together once more, it was the first time that Emery felt peace with plunging into the unknown. As long as he had Sia there by his side, he could face anything.

[katierosefun]

i originally had a september wrap-up post queued but then tumblr fucking ate it, which made me very angry because i didn’t want to re-type the whole thing, but i’m procrastinating, so here i am, re-typing the whole thing of all the things i watched/consumed over the month of september, even if it’s a little late: (it’s fine, i didn’t watch a whole ton of stuff except...a lot of kdramas lmao. oh, and visions.) 

k-dramas: 

beyond evil 

okay, so i think this has been on my rec list for literally forever now, but...besties, i’m on my fifth watch of this goddamn show in the span of maybe two months, so if that doesn’t tell you how much this show has been a comfort/eating my brain lately, idk what will. 

i literally never shut up about this show, but if you’ve somehow been missing from my blog for a little bit, a quick summary: lee dong sik (played by the ever-wonderful shin ha kyun) was accused of murder + kidnapping a few young women, including his own twin sister 20 years ago. he’s lived a pretty quiet life on his own, and now 20 years later, his whole world is turned upside down again when hotshot new inspector han joo won (played by the talented yeo jin goo) comes into this little town. when the murders start up again, these two are thrown into a hellishly complex mystery. will throw you in for a hellish loop. i think my thoughts best summarize this show as come for the murder mystery, stay for whatever the hell joo won and dong sik have. 

okay, but all joking aside about how much i love joo won and dong sik (because...i truly do love them), this show was incredibly healing. once again: this show has quickly become a comfort show, basically to the point where i just watch it whenever i feel down (which happens to be a lot these days). idk man. humans aren’t meant to carry burdens on their own and all that stuff. sometimes u just need to remind yourself that. 

the crowned clown 

so, after watching beyond evil the fourth time, i realized that maybe i wanted to watch some of the actors’ other works. that was how i found myself watching the crowned clown, which...is an excellent kdrama now available on netflix (also on viki for free, just as beyond evil is). honestly, it’s been a hot second since i’ve watched historical dramas (saeguks), so i was a little unsure what to expect, but this show. bro. this show reminded me just how much i love historical dramas, because the court politics? the costumes? the music? the acting? fantastic. 

basically, this show is about the young clown (ie. performer) ha seon (played by yeo jin goo) who now has to replace the king, who might be like...two seconds away from snapping (if he hasn’t already). the reason they’re able to do this is because they look exactly identical despite not being related. 

this story is honestly wonderful. i loved it, and it’s an interesting way to look at the story behind the actual king (because. apparently this king was a real person, and i think his story has inspired quite a few other korean movies/shows). i thought yeo jin goo was brilliant in this show, and it’s really no surprise he became the youngest person ever nominated for a baeksang award because of this series. i was truly blown away by just how versatile he proved to be of an actor, and his dynamics with the other characters (the queen, the secretary being my fave, as well as the old eunuch jo), i just...bro. i’ll admit i wasn’t the biggest fan of the romance (don’t get me wrong! it was sweet!), but i think that might have been because this was so court politics heavy, and i adored it for that. if you’ve never watched a historical drama but want to and just don’t know where to start, i highly recommend this. 

d.p. 

bro....this show was dark. i watched it all in 2 days (pretty easy to do, considering it’s 6 episodes and maybe 40-50 minutes long per episode), and i needed to lie down. this is just one of those shows that i feel is...very important to watch, even if the content matter isn’t very bright. 

basically, dp is about two deserter pursuit officers: ahn jun ho (played by jung hae in) and han ho yul (played by koo kyo hwan). deserter pursuit officers are basically people who chase after people who deserted their military post--and for those who don’t know, being in the military is mandatory for men in south korea. this is the result of the armistice between the north and the south--basically, since north korea never agreed to an actual peace treaty, south korea is constantly under threat of war, which is why men need to serve at least a few years. (this is why a lot of actors + kpop band members often take breaks from their careers--to fulfill their military service time. because yup, even celebrities aren’t exempt from service!) 

anyways, this show really doesn’t pull back their punches. major trigger warnings for things like intense harrassment, suicide, domestic violence...it really does capture just how dark life can be, and also how toxic the military can be for men. because of that, i felt this show was incredibly well-crafted, incredibly nuanced, and in the end, i just felt sad. that said though, there was a hopeful ending, and i’m glad that this show was renewed for a second season, as i think this show is just...really important. 

squid game 

okay, so i don’t want to be that person, but your girl was watching squid game right after it came out, so i was here before the hype train--but okay, okay, i digress. (i am glad that this show is getting hype. i feel it’s very important that people watch this show.) 

if you haven’t noticed how squid game’s climbed to #1 on netflix worldwide (i think, anyways), well, then...buddy. squid game is about a bunch of people who have the chance to earn lots of money by playing what seems like innocent children’s games. (spoilers: they are far from innocent.) 

this show scarred me, to be honest. i needed to watch something lighthearted after this, just because it was so intense. lots of trigger warnings for blood and gore, as well as just. losing faith in humanity. but also, like dp, i felt this show was necessary. it was incredibly well-constructed in that it showed just what desperate people will do in order to survive, as well as exactly what a terrible capitalistic society will do to the working class. it’s depressing and sad, but also incredibly chilling because like. you can’t help but watch the characters and think, but would i do the same thing? i just want to pay off my own debt and take care of my family. wouldn’t i do the same thing? 

i won’t say more of this show for fear of spoilers, but. let me just say. that i really am glad this show exists. i hope people actually notice what the fuck it’s saying about our current system too, because hm, maybe i just want to suck the fun out of things, but there’s something very disturbing about how people are already cute-ifying this show (ie. “this is what i would wear to the squid games! :D” and “look at these squid-game inspired cookies! :D”, as if this show didn’t just deliver a heart-crushing message about capitalism + how the wealthy fuck over anyone who isn’t the 1% BUT ANYWAYS) 

tv 

star wars: visions 

lately i’ve been feeling weird about star wars for lots of different reasons which i don’t particularly feel like addressing today, but. visions really reminded me why i fell in love with star wars in the first place. i think for starters, well. it’s no surprise when i say that i felt an intense amount of joy of seeing east asian cultures so beautifully incorporated and respected in this show (no surprise seeing that this show was literally crafted by japanese anime studios), but like. it really was. a beautiful thing. i cried at least once per episode, either because i was so in awe of the animation and the themes or because i was just in awe that this thing exists. 

i think my favorite episode had to be the village bride--there was something so incredibly powerful about seeing someone who looked a bit like me say i am a jedi. what an iconic line. what an iconic story about a sad traumatized gal deciding to step up and fight, actually. peak star wars. 

but besides all that...i really did feel like...this show captured the beauty and essence of what makes star wars actually good. the themes of good versus evil, a lot of stuff between siblings (bro....the twins and lop and ocho FUCKED ME UP), choosing to have brighter and better days ahead (the village bride, the ninth jedi, the duel, tatooine rhapsody)...like, i really loved how each episode really took everything that was good about star wars and just turned it into something even more beautiful. this series will stay with me for a long time, i think--and i am very grateful for the people involved in this project for reminding me why i fell in love with this universe in the first place. :”)