#anyways sorry cheese beenk beenk

[ryukyuin]

sorry yandere chrollo lucilfer tag oomfie is feeding me my personal addiction on a platter (back and forth positive yappery ((i am the one mainly yapping /lh))). i will spare you all w/ a below cut this time

okay but your first point is so true and is not only hilarious because chrollo HIMSELF would do background checks on THEIR love interests before they realize they're starting to pin and then he's over here fucking . his s/o buys him a chocolate fucking croissant to share and a caramel ribbon crunch frappacino with extra whipped cream and caramel (he asked what YOUUU reccomened) and is sitting there holding the most benign conversation about any topic you so please.

is it just the ache he feels the caramel rotting away his teeth, or the sweetness of your smile sending a pang through his chest? you say something so out of pocket and utterly outlandish that he practically snorts whipped cream onto the coffee shop's table on accident, his laughter something full and rich as he throws his head back and covers his mouth with his hand and . oh. what is he DOING? a reaction that open, a laugh that genuine and unburdened by his own white lies and his face is blank and he's staring at nothing until--

you snort even louder, an ugly noise that somehow sounds like the most beautiful thing to him, cackling wildly as you clap in delight and oh, if this wasn't something he wanted to repeat over and over and over again.

anyways ummm ermmmm ahhhh ik your tags implied kidnapping but i am going w/ "normal" chrollo (let him be happy for once CHEESE /lh)

oh my fucking god lettersss. this man can't email you like a normal person, he sends you oodles upon oodles of letters. he finds them romantic and much more tangible and real than some text, he finds it so much more satisfying to see where you crumpled the page, the scribbles as you cross out something embarassing (he finds a way to read what was under it every time. without fail), the inky finger print JUUUST on the corner of the page.

if he finds out you kept the letters he's whipped. he's done for. of course he's kept all YOURS (he has them memorized to a T. it is frightening you could remember off-handedly naming a food you wanted to try and the next time he comes back he's taking you to a fancy italian returaunt and getting the exact dish you wanted. YOU didn't even remember it, he ordered for you and then mentioned how you were interest in so-and-so dish in a letter from 7 months ago. he thinks he is so smooth) but for you to keep HIS? twenty extra points if you're all awkward and flushed once he finds them, he finds your reactions delicious.

speaking of reactions, he's SOOOO pda in my mind. both as a kind of "i called dibs first, fuck off." to other people, but GOD does he love to see the way you react. things that wouldn't make him bat an eye make you slap his arm and hiss about how shameless he's being, your face a delightful shade of red.

in my head he switches between "pay attention to this man or he will FIND a way to get your attention" or "will sit in the same room with you and be perfectly content." depends on the day and his bood tee bee aich.

cutting myself off because i will keep GOING AND GOING AND GOING but he will do ALL OF THE ABOVE and he'll turn to the troupe and be like "yeah lmao they're a fun distraction after a heist goes well, nice way to decompress yk?" and they're just HUH?????? HELLO????????

(uvogin snorts. out loud. the sound fucking echoes. he is shot several dirty looks and nearly sets off shalnark into hysterical laughter.)

yandere chrollo is so fucking funny to me bc 87% of the time its "he would never" mixed with "i am aware of this but god would it be interesting to see how awful it/he would be. as a little treat. a little exploration"

LIKE IN MY HEAD DATING HIM WOULD BE SOOOO funny he's done 60549489454 background checks he walks over to the passenger side and opens the car door for you he sees a flowering tree and it reminds you of him during a heist and you have to hear him be GROSS and LOVEY-DOVEY as he describes it to you WEEKS LATER just because of how it made him think of you

and that's after he's doing something w/ paku and he's fucking yap yap yapping abt you and paku is finally like. "boss. do. do you think you like them?" AND ALL THE NEURONS FIRE AND THE LIGHTBULBS FLICKER ON AND THE GEARS START TURNING AND HE'S JUST . oh