#anyways queue (wtf that's how you spell that word? really?) the laughtrack for my fucked up brain

[jaymie-the-magpie]

Uggghhh, dude, I just want to cry into a tub of ice cream or something. I knew this guy over a decade ago, and he keeps showing up in my dreams. And it's like, every time I'm finally over him, he shows up in my dreams again! He was my first love, even if it was one sided, I fell head over heels for him back then, and was convinced he was my soulmate. I know it's silly, but he keeps haunting my dreams, and I never want it to stop! I just want to see him again! It's driving me crazy! Every time I go to sleep I pray that I see him again. It's agonizing that the person I love most in the world is a person who likely only exists in my dreams. And I couldn't make it stop or control it even if I wanted to! I've tried! And the worst part is, my dreams always feel so real. I'm always completely convinced that I've found him again, and he loves me the same way that I love him, and then I'm ripped back into the world where we haven't talked in years, and I haven't seen him face to face since I was nine years old. It's torturous, and I should probably be locked in a loony bin for it. I hate this, but I don't, I just hate that I love it. I hate that I look forward to seeing him in my dreams, and that I savor every moment with him. I just want to tell him this in the wild hope that he feels the same way, but I won't because that's fucking weird and I'll just sound like an obsessive fucking stalker. God damn dude, soulmate aus don't have shit on my fucked up brain.