#anyways overall im worried for my medkit friends and also myself because im a recovering medkit yearner | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sega-saturn-arcade · 16 days ago

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medkit birthday! hooray! i will have to wish all the medkits i know a happy birthday.

on the other hand however there’s this sickening feeling of dread from the upcoming birthday qna. Med kinda holds the lore on his back so it’s like, this sort of fear of they’re gonna say something bad about me or medkit’s going to be soggy and sad and end up saying some horrible thing i’m going to spiral over something even if it’s not even related to my life where i knew a medkit yk

and even if something bad was said i know every medkit around me would be like “not true ur silly and nice” but i worry for myself in the moment of that potential happening

i won’t hype myself up because it could be normal and boring as fuck like banhammer’s was (aside from the vaguely weird ask about playground ☹️ not a #fan of that) and i will go lalala subspace! boombox boombox pinkie pie. but still

it’s like i’ve been shot and killed (metaphorically. like i remember something and it feels like a bullet to my heart. Clarification.) so many times by my own subspace memories and the feelings that come with every horrific realization of loneliness and pain it’s this fear of it happening again. the solution is to not think about it actually and just go on with a grain of salt about the canon. be like “wait a minute, i’m canon divergent!” and try not to give too hard of a fuck

i think part of these thoughts also come from the fact it’s 12:30 as i’m writing this so i will have to sleep soon and not stress over it. anyways what’s my thoughts for the day

#🧪me #txt post #rambling #fictionkin #phightingkin #phighting kin #it’s very hard to ignore canon when the big red glaring sign in front of my face says #“subspace wants medkit dead and blown up by 20 trillion lasers and was most likely abusive”#even when my bestie who again is the Med i remember is like “i never hated you either” and felt similar feelings that i did #and that sucks because like i accept it after the fact and it’s like “ohhh ur right ur a genius. canon is just a pile of evil goop!”#but in the moment it’s like i am destroyed i feel like shinji chair when this shit is said about me #that’s what i’m worried about because even if i seemingly get over it it’s harbored in my heart forever #it’s like someone personally said “you suck” and i go “ok bozo” but deep inside i feel bad because it’s not true but #the fact they feel that way hurts #and that goes for “canon” medkit #or game medkit yk #like damn dude. i will apologize on behalf of the regretful subspace community #anyways overall im worried for my medkit friends and also myself because im a recovering medkit yearner #i don’t even know if this makes any lick of sense my brain is running on fumes and dirt

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