#anyways love my guy harry styles he can be so fucking dumb and stupid but he's also a babe

[imferns]

this is gonna make me sound like the biggest loser but i want to follow normal blogs not focused on celebs, but then, i CAVE, and i search names of my fav artists in blogs im interested in and the moment i see a bad post i go nope, next blog

[hp-hcs]

rebel girl — mlm! draco malfoy & wlw/nblw! reader

prompt #8 of the slytherin boys x reader thingy i made

8) Draco Malfoy + humor + Rebel Girl — Bikini Kill

i’m so sorry for whatever this is

unspecified pronouns, but written for wlw or nblw (or he/him lesbians <3)

❕platonic relationship❕

written in the same style as the mattheo one, cause y’all fuckin loved that (aka basically just crack with some vague semblance of a plot and a gratuitous amount of completely unnecessary emojis)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Based on these lyrics from Bikini Kill’s Rebel Girl:

‘That girl thinks she's the queen of the neighborhood/ I got news for you, she is!/ They say that she's a dyke, but I know/ She is my best friend, yeah’

~~~

“honestly, it’s kind of pathetic that l/n and malfoy still think that no one knows they’re together”

^^ you overhear in one of your classes, being whispered under someone’s breath and followed by tittering laughter

you just kinda turn to look at draco with a ‘these bitches dumb as fuck’ look on your face

he’s already giving you the same look

“should we tell them?” you ask

“nah, let’s see if we can keep it up til the end of the year” 😌

shore malfoy, that’s a choice ig 🤨

anywhore, you guys decide to fuck with everyone

((excluding your friends who aren’t stupid))

and you go to the yule ball together

everyone’s just like “OMG HEADLINES CALL UP RITA SKEETER”

all of the adults chaperoning are like 🤨🤨🤨

half of your classmates are like “(🏳️‍🌈?)”

y'all dance together the whole night, literally unable to take yourselves seriously

then draco’s like “let’s kiss just to fuck with everyone”

brilliant plan, sir

anyways y’all do that, ig

mwah mwah 😘

your friends are like 🧍‍♀️“babe.”🧍‍♂️

welp guys stop asking you out after that cause they think you’re taken 🫡

…a win is a win 🤷

making out in the name of wlw/mlm solidarity, ig

y’all play the long con

you change your ringtone to girls by girl in red and sTILL NOBODY NOTICES

on the last day before winter break, you guys take the opportunity to have a huge dramatic ‘break up’ so you can be the center of all the juicy goss over the break 😌✨

you guys think it’s funny for like a week into the break, and then immediately forget about it

when you come back at the beginning of the semester, neither of you fuckin remember 🫥

you get a girlfriend (slay girlypop ✨)

draco gets a boyfriend (cough cough harry cough cough)

everybody’s like 🤨

anywhore, that’s the story of how you and draco both came out as gay 🏳️‍🌈

[edie-k]

Greener Pastures (Lavender Brown/Mystery Character, Romione, Hinny, Deamus, PG-13)

Title: Greener Pastures

Pairing: Lavender Brown/Mystery Character, Romione, Hinny, Deamus, Past Lavender/Ron, Past Lavender/Seamus

Rating: PG-13 for language

Summary: At Harry and Ginny's engagement party, Lavender bemoans her single status to a mystery man.

Author's Note: Well, here's an obscure ship for you. Thanks to @adenei for her feedback and kind words!

*************

“I think that proves that for all the complaining I’ve done, Harry, I mean it when I say you are the only one I thought was good enough for my sister,” Ron said from the front of the room, to a chorus of laughter. “So let’s raise a glass to the newly engaged couple!”

From her seat at the bar, Lavender made a face and threw back the remaining contents of her tumblr. Parvati, who was seated next to her, joined the crowd in applauding and cheering Harry and Ginny.

Click below to read more or read at AO3

“That was a nice speech,” commented Parvati.

“Oh, just the best,” muttered Lavender, trying to catch the bartender’s eye.

Parvati shook her head. “I just spotted Adam’s sister. I wanted to ask her about what the expectations are for dress code and stuff at his grandmother’s. All Adam said when I asked him was ‘Whatever’s fine.’ We’re going abroad to meet an entire side of your family I have never met in all the time we’ve been together and you’re telling me whatever is fine.”

“Mmm hmm,” Lavender said, still trying to signal for a drink.

“Are you going to be okay if I-”

“Yes, yes,” said Lavender, sighing. “I’m fine. Sorry if I’m being a drag. Just… that news earlier and then all this… happiness. Go get the dish from Mara so we can go shopping tomorrow.”

Parvati squeezed her friend’s arm before hopping off the stool and wading through the crowd to find Mara. The bartender finally made his way over to her and began to mix her another drink without a word.

At least Adam was out of town on business for the weekend so Lavender didn’t have to third wheel with her best friend and her boyfriend. Because that would have been the only thing more depressing than going to an engagement party with your platonic best friend.

The bartender nudged the glass back to her and she nodded her head in thanks as he made his way back down the bar.

“Is this seat taken?”

Lavender glanced up and met the gaze of a man she’d never seen before.

“Uh, no, be my guest,” she said. “Although be warned that I am shitty company.”

The man chuckled as he sat down on the stool. “I highly doubt that but I’m game to find out.”

Lavender looked at him again. She didn’t recognize him, which was shocking because even though the venue was full, Lavender had thought she would know everyone here. Harry and Ginny were obviously incredibly popular so they had kept tight controls on who was included on the guest list.

The man signaled for the bartender and Lavender took the opportunity to give him a once over. The guy was huge - not in an overweight or bodybuilder type way. He was just tall and solid. Other than her first boyfriend, her preference was tall guys. She was 5”8’ herself and preferred to wear heels when she could so aesthetically, it was nice for her companion to have some height. Nice eyes, cute face. He had dark blond hair and was dressed in a dark blue Muggle button down shirt and black trousers with no robes. Since the war had ended, Muggle style had become popular with the wizards in her age group. Harry, who was raised by Muggles, was always more comfortable in that style of clothing and Ron, who she knew was dressed primarily by Hermione and Hermione’s mum, followed suit. And whatever that little Trio did, everyone else did and for Merlin’s sake, Ron Weasley was now a fucking fashion icon. Lavender took a big swig of her drink.

“It’s a nice party,” said the man. Lavender nodded as the bartender approached. “I’ll have whatever she’s having.”

The bartender made another drink before placing it in front of the man. He went to reach for his pocket when Lavender noticed a look of panic cross his face. Before she could say anything, the bartender waved him away. “Mr. Potter has the tab covered tonight.”

“Well,” he said, his face relaxed again. He turned back to Lavender. “Should we follow Red’s instructions and toast the happy couple?” The two clinked glasses. “It was a nice speech.”

Lavender snorted.

“You disagree?”

“I’d have thought his wife wrote it for him but there was too much swearing for her to have had a hand,” Lavender said. Then she wiped the palms of her hands down her face. “Ugh, ignore me. It actually was a very touching and funny speech. I’m just in an ugly mood and I have a bit of a history with Ron so I’m being mean for no reason.”

“You dated him?” the man guessed. She nodded. “Huh, he said in the speech that he’d loved his wife since he was 13.”

“And I dated him when we were 16 so…”

“Hence the ugliness,” finished the man.

“Hence the ugliness,” Lavender repeated. “I’m over it, really. Hermione and I shared a room for six years and are better friends now than we ever were at school. As for Ron, that was just some stupid school kid bullshit on both our parts. It’s more that I didn’t realize that my only opportunity to find love was going to be at Hogwarts. If I had known that, I’d have made better choices or… maybe taken Arithmancy to secure a better paying job to support my lonely life.”

“What do you mean?” the man asked.

“Everyone I know, they’re married or engaged or about to be engaged to the person that they dated at Hogwarts. Harry and Ginny dated at school, Neville and Hannah somehow started to date during our last year during the war. My best friend Parvati and her boyfriend dated our sixth year at Hogwarts and then he fled with his Muggle family overseas but they started right back up again when he came back to England. See that girl over there, the pregnant one?”

The man nodded.

“That’s Parvati’s sister. That’s her second kid cooking. She’s married to her prefect partner, Anthony. I guess technically, Ron and Hermione didn’t date at Hogwarts but -”

“He’s loved her since he was 13,” the man said amused.

“Yeah. I’m the only one that couldn’t make it out with a relationship intact.” she moaned, taking another drink.

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

Lavender took another long drink and contemplated his statement. “You know what? You’re right. Ginny, she also had a relationship that didn’t work out. Do you see that tall bloke over in the corner that she’s talking to?”

The man glanced in the direction Lavender was referring to. “Uh, yeah.”

“That’s Dean. He was the guy that Ginny dated before Harry. Now, do you see that cute little Irishman standing next to Dean?”

The man nodded.

“That’s Seamus. He was my ex-boyfriend before Ron. And now he’s Dean’s husband. Met in school, by the way.”

“Oh,” said the man, taken aback.

Lavender narrowed her eyes. “Do you have a problem with that? Because despite the fact that Seamus is just one more example of my inability to keep a boyfriend, I will defend those men and their amazing relationship to the death from any bigot that threatens it.”

“No, no!” the man sputtered. “I’m just… I went to an all-boys school and I knew gay guys but they all hid it and I’m just not used to people being open about it. It’s fine - more than fine. Good for them! I mean, hey, they found each other and are leaving more beautiful women for the rest of us, right?”

“Merlin, I wish I could find a beautiful woman,” Lavender moaned, burying her face in her hands. The bartender seemed to take this as a signal that she needed another drink and provided her with a refill.

“Oh, are you… interested in women?” she heard him ask.

“No,” she moaned. “You must think I’m insane.” Lavender put both her hands on the man’s arm that was closest to her. “I promise that I am not hung up on some school romance from five years ago. It’s just that, if you knew Seamus or Ron at Hogwarts… did you know Seamus or Ron at Hogwarts?”

The man shook his head.

“Okay, so if you knew them, you would know that they were both totally immature prats. After I broke up with Seamus, I thought he was the worst boyfriend ever. He was always running off to spend time with his mates, talking about Quidditch, no interest in spending time with me, dumb jokes. But then, then I dated Ron, who was even worse than him. The only thing he wanted to do with me was snog and I think that was some weird power move with Hermione or his sister… who knows. I have to be way more drunk to psychoanalyze Ron Weasley. Anyway, the last month we were together, he didn’t even try to hide the fact that he wanted to ditch me for Hermione but was just too much of a coward. And yet somehow, both of those idiots ended up married before me! And it’s not like they got married to some random person that they knocked up after a one night stand. Ron eloped with his wonderful, talented, brilliant best friend that he was in love with all through school and the entire time we were dating and Seamus… oh for Godric’s sake.”

Lavender paused in her tirade for a moment. “Seamus also married his wonderful, talented, brilliant best friend that he was probably in love with all through school AND the entire time we were dating. How am I just realizing that?” Lavender groaned, banging her head on the bar.

“Can wizards knock up other wizards?” asked the man. Lavender looked up at him and burst into laughter.

“Oh, thank you for that,” she giggled. “I was spiralling.”

“Uh, yeah, no worries,” said the man, shifting in his seat.

“It’s just that this dating stuff is really hard. The wizarding world is so small, you know? I think it’s why everyone locks in with their soulmate at school, ” Lavender commiserated.

“Have you ever considered dating like, outside the wizarding world?” the man asked.

Lavender shook her head. “How could I? It’s tough enough here. After all the Prophet spotlights on battle injuries and such, everyone knows how I got all these awful scars on my face but it still takes a certain type of man to look past them. And I’m sure there are Muggles that aren't shallow about them either but they would ask how I got them. How would I explain them to a Muggle? I can’t just say ‘Oh during a war at my school, a werewolf tried to rip me to shreds. But don’t worry, I’m not a werewolf although I have some side effects from it.’ They’d think I was insane.”

“Uh, yeah, that does sound a bit… daunting,” the man admitted, looking a bit pale.

“I mean, I’m still a catch. I’m funny, I have a great rack, I make excellent scones, and I’m amazing in bed.” At that comment, she heard the man next to her choke a little and she stifled a smile to continue on. “And even if I could get away with not explaining it to a man, once I meet his family, there’s no way. In my experience, mothers are always trying to find a reason to hate the woman that’s dating their special baby boy. I can’t imagine a Muggle mother taking very kindly to a literal witch with werewolf scars.”

“Yes,” sighed the man before giving a little chuckle. “I can certainly see that. And with all of the, you know, war stuff, I can see where you wish you had a school sweetheart.”

Lavender shook her head and drained the rest of her drink. “Seamus and Ron are just easy targets. I really am not hung up on them. This is about Don.”

“Who’s Don?”

“Don is my last boyfriend. We dated exclusively for eight months and he was so fun and thoughtful and generous. But he never said I love you. He kept telling me that he was too young to settle down and, I believed that he thought that. I really did. So we split in December because we wanted different things.”

“Ah,” said the man. “Seems sensible.”

“And then this morning, I see it in The Daily Prophet.”

“See what?”

“His engagement announcement,” she wailed, throwing herself on the bar again and almost upsetting her glass.

The man patted her on the shoulder. “Oh God, I’m sorry.”

“Do you know how long they’ve been dating?” Lavender asked.

“Eight months?” ventured the man.

“FIVE!” Lavender cried.

“Maybe he knocked her up?” suggested the man.

Lavender looked up at him and burst into laughter again. “Merlin, you’re funny. Why am I whinging about all these dolts I’ve surrounded myself with when I should get to know you better?”

“Yeah?” said the man with a grin.

“Yes,” she said. “I mean, if you want-”

“Of course,” he interrupted. “A funny, beautiful woman wants to get to know me better - the answer is always yes. I do need a refill. Do you want one? You’re not driving home, are you?”

Lavender giggled.

The man shook his head and looked embarrassed. “Oh, right, you wouldn’t be driving. You would uh - ”

“You must be a Muggle born. Do- I mean, I’ve heard others say that before. Those habits die hard.”

“Actually,” the man took a deep breath. “I’m a Muggle.”

Lavender’s jaw dropped. “How the fuck does a Muggle get invited to the engagement party of the Chosen One and a pureblood Quidditch player?”

“Well, Harry’s my cousin,” the man said. “My name’s Dudley.”

***************

“Do you see that over there?” asked Hermione, nudging Ron. He turned away from his conversation with Neville and Charlie to see what his wife was gesturing to across the room.

“Is that Dudley Dursley chatting up Lavender?” Ron asked, as his eyes landed on the sight before him.

“It appears to be,” said Hermione. “Merlin, they are really flirting. Should we go over there and say something? A warning or...?”

“Right,” said Ron. “Absolutely we should. Which one of them are we warning?”

[harrysgloves]

Fine Line (Chapter 9)

>>>Catch up with the Fine Line Masterlist!

word count: 

story summary: Since you were kids you and Harry had always walked that fine line of friends or something more. Now, pregnant by someone else, you find yourself staying with your long time best friend after things go sour with your boyfriend of 3 years.

Singlemom!Reader x Harry Styles

chapter summary: You and Harry revisit an old childhood game.

warnings: Language // cuddling // mutual pining but they're both dumb af // no editing

a/n: Apparently, I do still write... amazing right?? Anyway, posting this from mobile so it might be a bit weird formatting and I couldn't post the word count tonight. Sorry about that guys. Hope you enjoy anyways!

As always, likes and reblogs make my little heart sing and comments make me almost faint. So, gimme that love.

>>><<<

You settled into Harry's couch for yet another night alone. The light from Judd Nelson's match he had managed to ignite with the back of his teeth lit up the television. The 

luminescent bulbs dimly casted tints of blue and white lights across Harry's living room. Your eyes glued to the movie you'd seen a million times before as you curled in tighter into the soft blankets. 

Harry had been busy the last few days and while you tried your best to not bitch about it, you were lonely. Gemma and Abby had their own lives thousands of miles away from you. Jesse had still not answered you back. Your mother couldn't carry on a conversation with you for more than 10 minutes without forgetting who you were. Besides work, you really had no one to hangout with and even your coworkers didn't see you outside the office. 

The only glimmer of a social life you had was your unborn child that you talked to constantly and Mr. Stranger-who-hits-on-people-at-the-doctor's-office. Since your child couldn't talk back to you yet, Matt was quickly becoming your life line to a somewhat normal life. 

Your phone dinged for the millionth time that night. Matt's name flashing across the top of the screen had a smile curling on your lips. Your fingers quickly slid to open your message app.

>Can't wait for nights like these, right?

The message read, a picture of Roman passed out asleep on top of Matt's chest glared from your phone screen.

<<He looks comfortable.

You shot back, your lips rolling into your mouth as you waited for the response. There was nothing wrong with some innocent flirting, right?

>He says he highly recommends you trying it.

You could feel your cheeks heat when your eyes scanned his message. You bit the inside of your cheek as you typed back, quickly deleting your first response to write a different one. 

You were so out of practice when it came to flirting. You had no idea how to even do it. Even when you started dating Jesse he was the one who initiated everything. You didn't know he was hitting on you until your dorm mate at the time told you.

<<Sure he does.

>Swear. Cheeky little thing even said he'd share me being his pillow with you if you come to the park with us on Friday.

You let out a chuckle as you read his response, ready to shoot back a more feisty text when the door to Harry's house was thrown open. A very drunk Harry stumbled through the door. His eyes widened when he saw you sitting on the couch. That lopsided smile on his face as he used his dining room table to balance himself.

"Have a good night?" You asked, your phone and conversation with Matt long forgotten as Harry clammed up. His hand ran through his soft waves of brown curls as he let out a long breath.

"Weren’t supposed to drink but Mitch brought out the bottle and-" 

"Hazza, it's fine. I'm glad you had a good night. You've been busy lately. You probably needed it." You quickly cut him off, not wanting him to feel bad for having a life outside of you.

After all, you were his guest. He didn't need to run his itinerary through you everyday. He had his own things and you had yours.

"Missed yeh so much this week. Sorry 've been busy." He sighed as he tried to take a step down the stairs. His hand quickly pressed to the wall to balance himself.

"You need to go to bed." You mumbled as you stood up from your warm spot on the couch. Your arm instantly under his to help further balance him.

"But I miss yeh and wanna hang out." He whined. His head laid on your shoulder as he pouted.

"We can hangout all day tomorrow, promise." You said when you pushed him lightly back up the stairs. His body clung to yours. His arm around your shoulders.

"But, I wanna hang out now." He huffed like a petulant toddler. His arms stiffened at his side almost made you lose your balance.

"Fine, well hang out now as long as you help me get to your room." You rolled your eyes at him, letting out a huff when he stopped completely in his tracks.

"Promise?"

"Fuck, Haz, yes. Just get walking before I fall." You grumbled as you pulled at his waist. His feet reluctantly slid against the hardwood floors.

"Yeh can't fall right now yeh pregnant."

"I know." You sighed as you pulled him a bit more. Your doctor would have your ass if she knew you were putting this much strain on yourself. His weight was every bit of 5 times the amount you were supposed to lift or carry but it wasn't like he could make it to bed by himself. "Which is why I need you to help me here."

His feet left the ground in much better steps than he had taken before. The words you had spoken seemed to sober him up a bit as you finally pushed the door to his room open. His tall lanky body hit the bed in a second. You sighed as the pressure from your shoulders finally let up.

"Night Haz." You said with your hand on the doorknob, foot halfway out the door when he perked back up enough to turn on his bed to look at you.

"Yeh promised, so get back 'ere." He patted the bed a few times. A signal for you to join him.

"Uh, maybe tomorrow. We shouldn't-" your words were quickly cut off by his hand around your wrist as he brought you closer to the bed.

"Yeh promised, bunny." He smiled up to you that adorable dimple popped out as you nodded your head. 

Well, you did promise.

Your knees hit the plush pillow top. Your body sunk in slightly as you moved across the bed to the top. Your arms around the pillow that smelled of Harry's shampoo and cologne.

That adorable grin never left Harry's face as he watched you crawl into his bed. A shiver ran down his spine but he quickly shook that thought away. You were just his friend. Only his friend. 

He reminded himself of that many times as he mimicked your position on the bed. His head on the pillow, face towards you, both your knees touched each other.

"'Member when it'd storm durin' your sleep overs with Gem and yeh always end up curled up in my bed 'cause y'hate storms and Gem sleeps like a log?" He asked as his hands tightened around the pillow. Your head nodded as a smile crept up on your face. 

"Remember you stealing all the covers." You teased as he rolled his eyes at you.

"Won't steal 'em tonight. Promise." His pinky finger shot in the air, yours immediately wrapped around it, without even a second thought.

The street lights outside his window cast soft white lights into his room. Just enough that you could see the outline of his face, the tip of his nose, the long eyelashes against his cheek every time he blinked. You licked your lips as the silence swallowed you both. 

How much longer could you two keep up the act of being friends? You didn't know the answer to that question. Every time you were close like this to him you could feel your resolve washing away. Especially when his lips parted slightly, his steady breathing sounded like a soft lullaby. You swallowed, your eyes darted down to his chest. 

"Wanna do the thing?" He asked, his voice broke your intense stare on his lips and back to his eyes. Your cheeks burned in embarrassment at the sight of his smirk.

"Seems a bit stupid now." You mumbled as your eyes darted away from him.

How long had you been staring? How long did he notice you staring?

"Well too bad. I wanna do it."

"You're bloody drunk of course you wanna do it." You huffed as you tried to protest against this stupid game you two always played as children. 

"My bed, my rules." He said as the blanket encased both of you. The little amount of light that was being let in from the street lights was completely snuffed out from his duvet. The heavy duty quilt almost made it hard to breath. The air hot and sticky, smelling of whatever alcohol Harry had been drinking that night and his cashmere cologne. Suddenly, you were cursing your 12 year old self for ever coming up with this shit.

"This is dumb, Haz." You sighed.

"'S not dumb. 'S tradition!" His voice raised to a level you hadn't heard before. You could imagine the shocked look on his face, feel it forming on his features through the thick air.

His hand came to rest on the side of your face and yours reluctantly did the same. Your cool fingers touched against his warm skin. The stubble on his jaw tickled the inside of your palm. A sharp breath sucked through his teeth as your fingers traced the curves of his cheek bones. His own hand mimicking the movement, both of you studying each other's face with nothing but touch.

"Ready?" He asked, his voice playful and full of mischief. It almost made you smile, until you remembered how fucking stupid this was.His eyes closed when his hand ran over your lips. Your eyes trained on him for a second to make sure he wouldn’t cheat like he used to when you were kids. Once satisfied with the knowledge he wasn’t going to peek your own eyes slipped close, a long breath exited your lungs as you thought of all the times you did this with him.

It had merely started out as a way for you to touch him without him knowing you wanted to be close to him. Even though he quickly caught on to the fact of why you liked this so much when you were younger, he never protested when you suggested doing it. Of course, now you knew why he didn’t argue with you.

He wanted to be close to you too. 

Your lips formed into a smile as your mouth opened and closed a few times. His fingers lingering over them as they formed words silently. His eyes popped open as he glared at you. The darkness didn’t let you see his expression but your hands could feel his eyebrows pull together. Your lips rolled in your mouth to stop your obnoxious laugh.

“Yeh a brat, know that, love?” He asked a bit irritated but you could feel his facial features softening when you let out another giggle. 

“Couldn’t help it.” You said through your laughs, his cheeks pushed back against your hand that was still pressed there, a smile on his face so big you could feel the dimple there. 

“‘M not a tosser.” He pressed his finger booping the tip of your nose before it dragged down to your cupid’s bow. The tip of his finger lightly traced the outline of your lips. 

“Your turn.” You snapped him out of his silence when your digits went to his plush lips again. The softness of them never failed to surprise you. How did he manage to have such soft lips? 

You could feel your mind slowly slip from how they felt against your fingers to how they’d feel against your own. Imagining what it’d be like to have them on you again after all this time. Wondering if they’d still send that electric shock down your body. Wondering if he still tasted the same, like home. 

You were rudely pulled out of your daydreams when you felt his lips curl and twist. Your mind searched through your vocabulary of his top phrases he always said to you. Your lips pouted, eyebrows furrowed as he silently mouthed the phrase again. The skin of your fingers took in all the information down your arm directly to your mind. A smile you knew he could feel came across your lips. 

“Love you too, Haz.” Your eyes fluttered open right as his hand left your face and went around your waist. Clearly done with visiting your old time game when he threw the blanket from over the top of your heads. The sweet crisp air being sucked into your lungs in deep breaths. 

“Wasn’t so bad.” He said as you nodded your head in agreement, a shrug from your shoulders had him rolling his eyes as he pulled you into his chest. Your head against his pillow when his hand ran small circles over your lower back, the bottom of your shirt bunched up by his hands so he could touch your skin. A sigh of relief left you at the touch you didn’t know you needed, your face buried deep into him. Your own free hand wandered under his shirt. Your skin touching against the smooth planes of his stomach up to his chest. Contentment washed over you as your body relaxed into him. Eyes closing from how good it felt to be close again. 

The soft call of sleep beckoned you to its depth. Your breath slowed as your legs entangled with his. Gently slipping into a deep sleep. Arguably, the best sleep you’d had in years. 

>>>

Harry woke up the next morning with a pounding in his head. A groan left his lips as the sunlight that danced in through his windows blinded him momentarily. His sleep filled eyes blinked at the intrusion. Hand against his face, swearing to himself he’d never ever let Mitch talk him into another night of drinking. The echoes of his friend's voice rang through his head. Promises of a light night was total bullshit. His body ached as he tried to get into a different, more comfortable, position. His arm refused to move as something heavy laid on top of it. His eyes fully snapped open to see you laid out beside him. 

A smile creeping across his mouth as he looked at you. Your soft pouty lips pushed out as you took in deep calming breaths. The sunlight touched the peaks of your hips and breast. Glowing light radiating off your silky bare thighs. He chuckled lowly, knowing your sleep pants had been abandoned some time during the middle of the night. He guessed some things never change.

His fingers ran down your arm, up the shoulder of your sleeve. He just wanted to touch you, feel your skin under his own. He couldn’t help it. He felt like a man being possessed. His own body moving to its own accord. Inching its way in to hold you like he did almost 8 years ago. 

His arm was around you, face inches away from your own. He could see your eyes fluttering back and forth behind your eyelids. Small whimpers came from you as you dreamed. 

Were you dreaming about him?

He sighed, head pressed harder into the pillow. He could have laid here watching you all day. The way your breathing made your chest rise, the way you unknowingly wiggled closer to him when his arm rested over top of you, the way the golden sunlight made you look like a fucking angel in his arms. 

Golden, golden, golden

As I open my eyes

Words formed in his mind as he memorized every inch of your skin. Every valley of your body, every high rise of your curves. His sight eventually landed on your stomach. A small bump was there, not a huge one, definitely one he wouldn't have noticed if he didn't have every part of your body mastered like the back of his hand. He supposed it made sense you'd start showing by now. All the research he'd done late at night said 12 weeks was usually the normal time frame. 

His hand slowly moved above your bump. Hovering there for what felt like hours. He would never admit it to you but he was scared, petrified, this child would somehow drive a wedge between you two. 

Chase you farther away from him when it felt like he'd just gotten you back.

It wasn't that you two weren't close when you didn't live with him, you two definitely were, but with Jesse and others around he never had you to himself. That was all he wanted, your attention. He suddenly felt like a 7 year old begging you for a moment of your time while you mindlessly played barbies for hours with his sister. 

How fucking pathetic, he thought. Was he really going to be jealous of your child having your time? Or was he just jealous that it wasn't also his child?

He knew the answer as soon as his hand hit your stomach. He inhaled a sharp breath in through his teeth. His heart melted as he thought of that little baby that jumped around on the ultrasound machine. A sense of protectiveness he'd never felt before flooded his brain.

He slid gently down the bed. He held his breath as he lifted your shirt. His eyes darted up to make sure he didn't disturb you from your sleep. 

"Good mornin' baby." He mumbled to your stomach, his large hands completely encased the bump.

"Yeh don't know it yet but yeh momma is my best friend so I guess that makes us best friends too." He said lowly, his callused hands moving softly against your skin made you hum in your sleep. Your body shifted slightly to get more comfortable on your back. 

Harry raised to rest on his elbows. His hands still on your stomach muttering soft sweet words to your baby. 

"Gonna teach yeh all kinds 'f things." 

"Gonna 'ave to let yeh listen to my music 'cause yeh mom has some bad taste."

"Gonna 'ave to teach y'football too, 'cause yeh mom's got two left feet."

"Definitely gonna 'ave to teach yeh maths she's really bad at that one. Pretty sure I did all her work fo' her. Got no idea how she passed when I left."

"You know I can hear you, right?" You asked after being insulted for what seemed like an eternity. Your head popping off the pillow to glare at your friend trash talking you to your baby.

"Oi, this is a private conversation." He said with a smirk on his face as his head shot up to you. His eyes sparkling with a glint of humor as you shook your head at him. He let out a sigh as he fell back to the bed. His chin rested on the covers as your hand ran through his hair. 

He'd stay like this with you for as long as you let him. He'd be happily content to let your fingers run through his hair all day if you wanted to. The soft scratching of your nails on his scalp soothing him as his eyes slipped closed.

Yes, he could stay like this forever.

"Wanna get breakfast?" You asked a bit later, his eyes lazily flicked open only to shut again. His arm flung around your waist, pulling you close to him. His nose nuzzled into your side making you giggle that soft sweet sound he loved more than anything else in this world.

"Wanna cuddle." He mumbled into the exposed part of your skin. Your shirt still lifted over your stomach from him talking to the baby.

"Harry…" You said gently. Your hands in his hair paused their movements.

You cherished these types of mornings with him. Locked them in a special place in your heart but you knew deep down you shouldn't be in situations like this with him. It would only make things more confusing for the both of you. You could already feel yourself inching closer and closer to the edge of recklessness with your heart.

At the end of the day you were still you and he was still the great Harry Styles. 

How could you ever live up to the type of person he'd need in his life?

"Jus' a little while longer, yeah?" He said from below you. Not wanting to admit he knew being wrapped up in bed with you was wrong.

He liked Camille. Loved her, maybe, but she'd never compare to you. The love he had for you burned deep, like a forest fire wild out of control. He tried his best to tame it. Remind it that you had no interest in him anymore but it had a life of it's own at this point. Even through countless rejections and long years of yearning for you without reciprocation.

"Yeah, okay." You said, your hands going back to work running through his hair.

Both of you, unknowingly to the other, wondering the same thought as you laid in each other's embrace.

What would happen if you crossed that line?

[lovetorn]

sex [fratboy!harry]

harry styles x fem!reader

summary: sex by the 1975 but i changed it up - [bestfriend!fratboy!harry] warnings: swearing, angst words: 1.9k inspo: sex by the 1975 (obviously) a/n: a rollercoaster (and a little cliche)!! ahahah enjoy xx

“She’s got a boyfriend anyway, so I don't know why you keep trying,” Y/n said, peering over at him slightly before returning her focus back to the road in front of them, tired of the conversation at hand. Her best friend, Harry sighed loudly, his knuckles whitening with the hard grip he had on the steering wheel. The sky outside was painted pink and was slowly washing away into dark indigo. 

Y/n glanced at him in her peripheral and saw he was getting agitated with her, so she decided to hold her tongue. Turning fully to look out the window, Y/n tapped her fingers against her thighs, now eager to get back to your sorority and away from the moody boy next to her. The tension in the car pushed on her chest and it made Y/n feel like she couldn’t breathe properly. She sighed softly, trying her best not to catch Harry's attention. 

Once at a red light, Harry’s hands came up to his hair to fix the snapback that rested there, and Y/n had the sudden urge to watch him. It was something about his hands, or maybe it was his hair that made her stomach churn—or perhaps it was the butterflies that fluttered so hard it made her insides hurt. Y/n didn’t want to think about what her best friend could do to her if this was under different circumstances. 

“Have you been seeing that guy again?” Harry’s voice cut the silence, catching Y/n off guard. She thought that her brain was deceiving her when she heard his words. Flustered, she quickly looked at him, but soon saw his smug expression and decided against giving him what he wanted. 

“Not since Ethan’s party, I think,” She said, tilting her head to the side as she answered. The light changed to green when Y/n turned her body towards him, noticing the way his tongue traced the inside of his cheek. The car lurched forward as Harry met Y/n’s gaze, his eyebrows raising in amusement. Rolling her eyes, Y/n turned her knees to the car door, choosing to look at a dog and its owner instead before she huffed.

“I wouldn’t see him again anyway, he was a shitty kisser.” 

Harry hummed and nodded, clearly content with the answer. Y/n narrowed her eyes towards him as she raised an eyebrow; challenging his earlier demeanour. 

“And I suppose you haven’t seen her since then either, hmm?” Y/n’s voice was sharp but slightly teasing and Harry sighed in annoyance, his body becoming frigid. He stared at the road for a few moments before telling his prepared answer, “No, I haven’t actually.”

Y/n nodded, a snigger playing on her lips as she fished her phone from the middle console. Her heart hammered against her ribs when she pulled up a particularly scandalous photo one of Harry’s frat brothers had sent her 3 days ago.

As Harry turned into the street of Y/n’s sorority, she decided it was the best time to confront him. Holding her phone up to his face as he pulled in next to the curb, Y/n’s lip was between her teeth, awaiting his reaction. 

“Care to explain this then?” Harry had eyes like saucers as she pushed the phone further into his face. He threw his hands over his eyes and groaned loudly, “How do you have that? You can’t show anyone!” 

Y/n threw her hands up, “Harold! She’s got a boyfriend, do you know how bad this looks?” She said, locking her phone and placing it into her lap. 

“What are you doin’, H?” 

Harry leant his head against the steering wheel, “I don’t know.” Y/n sighed and looked back out to the street, shaking her head in the process. 

“Well, I’m going inside. So if you want to want to sulk here then go back to your house, you’re more than welcome to, or, you can come upstairs,” She said, hand on the door handle as she looked back at her best friend. Harry huffed and turned the car off before he opened the car door and slammed it closed. 

—

Harry laid on the crisp, white sheets of Y/n’s bed, lulling in and out of sleep out of utter boredom. Y/n had gone downstairs to collect their dinner from McDonald’s 15 minutes ago and Harry couldn’t be bothered to open the door and ask where she was. Upon arrival, Y/n was laughing with her friend, Kayley whose room was next door to her own. The two girls joked about the fact that Harry was in her room, again, which caused Y/n to roll her eyes playfully, “Shut it!”

Y/n opened her bedroom door, a paper bag with the UberEats logo on the front in her hand and Harry’s eyes lit up as he jumped from the sheets. Finally, he thought as she placed it on her desk. As he leapt up, Y/n pulled the bag away, eyes narrowed at the boy. 

“What are you doing?” She asked as she held the bag behind her back, out of Harry’s reach. His eyebrows furrowed and his head tilted, “Uh, ‘m hungry?” Y/n shook her head, she had to know.

“Not until you tell me what you did with her.” 

Harry stood dumbfounded, why would Y/n care so much? He only scoffed and grabbed his keys and phone 

“No.”

Y/n looked at the ceiling and shook her head again. Harry blinked at her, “Is there a problem with my answer?” He challenged, his eyebrow raised and tongue in his cheek. 

“I don’t understand why you can’t just tell me, Harry,” Said Y/n, her frustration increasing as she moved to block the door. Y/n crossed her arms over her chest, the food still in one hand. 

“Because, it really doesn’t matter to you, Y/n!” 

Y/n laughed. She laughed in his face and Harry couldn’t seem to wrap his head around why she cared so much. The number of times Y/n was shaking her head, Harry swore it would fall off. 

“It does matter to me, I’m your best friend,” She mumbled, “I’m just curious, Harry, in case something bad happens with her boyfriend.” and Harry sighed. His gaze fell to the floor, he didn’t really think about the consequences. 

“Have you had sex with her?” Y/n’s voice was barely there but Harry heard her. 

“No, we only make out, because she thinks sex would be cheating.” Y/n opened her mouth to counter the reasoning but decided against it, instead, she threw the bag of McDonald’s at Harry. He caught it in his arms, unsure of where to sit as the tension that built around them still hung. He chose the desk chair, pulling it out before he sat down. 

Y/n sat cross-legged on her duvet, her 6 pack of nuggets, medium chips, and large coke in front of her. Her eyes were downcast as they ate in silence. 

“Y/n...” Her head lifted quickly, meeting Harry’s gaze. His voice was soft and Y/n got nervous when his voice was that low. 

“Why do you actually care what I do with her?” There it was; the burning question on Harry’s tongue and the unanswerable question Y/n was wishing he wouldn’t ask. She was at a loss for words as her mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. After a few moments, she sighed deeply. Harry was suspicious, but he had a hunch, and his entire body ached to hear her confession; it was the main reason he even started seeing the girl with the boyfriend… to get Y/n off his mind—surprise! 

“Do you want the truth? Even if it ruins us?” Y/n whispered, overwhelmed by her emotions and feelings and she couldn’t even express how fast her heart was beating. She regretted asking those questions as soon as they left her mouth. She’d ruined it all, and there was nothing she could do to get herself out now. 

Harry nodded his lips in a tight line. He’d been waiting for this moment for years. There were years of pent up feelings in his brain that he swore would explode at any given day—and maybe today was the day. 

Y/n couldn’t bring herself to say it. The stupid words that meant nothing and everything at the same time. The one thing her psychology course had taught her was that deliberate attempts to suppress thoughts often make them more likely to resurface, and that was exactly what was happening. She’d spent years pushing her feelings down, telling herself she wasn’t good enough for him, that she couldn’t satisfy him the way he needed, telling herself he wouldn’t love a girl like her. 

Harry could tell she needed time to gather her thoughts and decided it was best if he left the room for a moment. However, Y/n thought the worst as his hand landed on the door handle. 

“Where are you going?” Her voice shook tremendously and it scared Harry. 

“You look like you need time to collect yourself, is all.” Wrong choice of words Harold! He was dumb, stupid, and felt like a downright fucking idiot. Y/n nodded once as tears brimmed her eyes. 

“No! No, I didn’t mean it like that,” Harry panicked as he held his hands out cautiously. 

“I love you!” Y/n froze from the force of his voice and didn’t seem to acknowledge what he was actually saying. The room, more the house, fell silent. Harry stood frigid, his head spinning from his outburst, but more from the weight his words held. His breath caught in his throat as Y/n blinked at the floor. Wait, what? 

Her head snapped towards him, “What?”

Harry brought his hand to his hat and snatched it off his head and onto the floor. Y/n sat in confusion, what did the hat do to him? 

Realisation overcame her features as she stared at him, her mouth open slightly. Harry felt like he couldn’t breathe, why wasn’t she saying anything?

After a while, a smile broke out on her face, “You’re not just saying that?” He shook his head repeatedly, stalking toward the bed before he sat directly beside her and taking her clammy hands in his shaky ones. 

“I would never tease you like that.”

Y/n felt like she was floating, her head was light and her throat was closed with emotion. 

“I guess I like you too, loser,” She smiled, looking at their hands together. Harry inhaled sharply as his eyes were fixed on her lips. 

“Can I-” Y/n sensed his intentions and nodded softly, taking her hand from his and resting it on his cheek. It was the first time Y/n had seen him nervous since their senior formal when he was clasping the corsage on her wrist. The thought made her giddy as their noses brushed, the feeling making both their hearts skip. 

“But, what about her?” Y/n’s voice broke the sweet silent they revelled in. It was a long time coming, but they finally got their feelings in check and Y/n was worrying about some other girl he saw twice? Harry wanted to riot. 

“She’s got a boyfriend anyway,” He smirked before he placed his mouth on hers.

Feedback is always appreciated xx

[gimme-a-hand-scaevola]

A review of the book The Rook by Daniel O’Malley that nobody ever asked for...

Ok so @chemcat92 recommended me this book and I listened to it on audiobook and I just... have a lot of thoughts. I haven’t read the sequel and I’m torn if I will. Having watched some AMVs of the show, it’s a hard pass. My review is going to be in three parts:

1. The plot

2. Wasted Potential - In General

3. Wasted Potential - Gestalt the Most Wasted Character Potential I’ve Read since Drizzt Do’Urden 

Obviously spoilers under the cut. 

Part 1: The Plot - i.e. I think Daniel discovered books four days before he started writing 

Ok so... The plot of this book. It starts off STRONG I will give it that. Myfanwy Thomas wakes up in a rainy part surrounded by bodies wearing latex gloves and no memories. She soon discovers her previous self lost her memories but because she was organized and knew it was coming, she has eased new Myfanwy’s transition. She gets to choose to stay in her life through letters and then we get an easy way to give flashbacks. Anyway this part RULES. 

Honestly, the book starts strong as hell. Myfanwy discovers she has supernatural powers over people’s nervous systems and is a trained bureaucrat for a supernatural wing of the government. This all runs sort of like a combination of Heroes and Harry Potter in the best way possible. And here is where we find the strongest part of the book: the superpowers. 

We don’t have to look that far to find Heroes type shows or books where everyone has a special ability, so if you’re going to go that route, you’ve gotta bring it. And honestly, Daniel brings it. They powers are cool as hell, they’re inventive, they’re well bounded. I felt like I understood what people’s powers and limitations were. We were in a land with magic, but it never felt cheap. This is going to dovetail into my absolute RANT about Gestalt but give me a sec to get there. 

Ok. So honestly I don’t even have any complaints until the third act. Act one gives us the set up, act two introduced the big bad the Grafters and so far so good. We’ve got good but elitist supernatural guys vs. bad but more egalitarian supernatural guys. We also know that it was someone in the supernatural org (it has a name but the name is so stupid I can’t spell it) that betrayed our protag and stole her memories and they’re still around and teamed up with the evil Grafters. Intrigue?? Don’t know who to trust???? Love it. 

For some reason everyone is either old, or hot, or so inhuman it’s viscerally horrifying. Love this touch. Eleanor from the Good Place taught us that it’s totally free to imagine everyone in a story as super hot. And it is. So they’re all super hot. Love it. Good commitment, Daniel. 

But then we get to Act three. So, this was a big swing on ol Danny’s part because a lot of the effect of this had to do with carrying out mystery. We’d built a lot of tension on the suspense  Who Betrayed Myfanwy. So obviously it’s really important for me to be surprised or at least satisfied with who this is. (As an aside, I would have been ok with guessing correctly, I definitely don’t subscribe to surprise trumping cohesive plot). Ok. With that on paper... like... holy shit. What a stupid “reveal.” 

So in part 1, like the first scene we get of old Myfanwy’s letters giving us context, she says that her apartment at work was inherited from a dude Conrad something that got promoted. And then she says it’s super badly decorated, and later we see it and this shit is straight out of Austin Powers, mirror over a round bed, The Whole Shebang. But she also says that this guy who otherwise is supposed to be very smooth and charismatic like... asks her about the decor.... every time they interact. Every Time They Interact. The second this was mentioned (WHICH IS AFTER WE KNOW SHE WAS BETRAYED) I'm like “oh ok so this guy bugged her room he’s the villain” and I only wasn’t sure because it was WAY too obvious. 

But no. He’s the villain. He has a big reveal where he’s like “AND I BUGGED YOUR ROOM” and I'm like... well... yeah. Of course you did. But here’s the thing tho... Myfanwy’s like... WHOLE ASS JOB is planning covert ops. So... is she good at her job??? IS SHE???? 

But we also don’t actually show how characters are based on their actions, we are just told how they are. But we will circle back to that in the Gestalt part. That’s honestly the sum of my rant about the plot. It was nothing. It put all its eggs in the basket of the worst most boring reveal of all time. Daniel, I think you might just be boring. 

Part 2: Wasted Potential - Everything but Gestalt who gets a special part to themselves.

The big sin of this book might just be too many good ideas. There’s a lot of characters, they all do cool stuff, but we have like 200 pages, so there wasn’t enough time to do anything with all these guys. I got lost about who was who like 80 times because they’re basically all sneaky hot magic guys. One of them smokes and is a soldier and he seems chill. 

There’s a vampire and he gets a scene and a long intro that reads more like a wiki page. Like it was interesting but you would have lost NOTHING cutting him as a character except that he was cool. You never ever believe that he was the bad guy because it’s super well established in the Certified Back Story that he could give two shits about the politics of the humans. He’s there bc he’s an adorably young vampire who is very curious so his dad set him up as a powerful government agent as though it was enrolling him in a prep school. Love it, but again, we don’t.... need him around. 

There’s a lady who can walk through dreams and I thought she was going to be important based on the fanfare of her introduction but then we forget about her basically entirely. 

There’s a whole American wing that we also only see anything interesting about in side story. Basically the world building is really good. Like pretty superb to be honest. But it’s bracketing a story that is nothing so it makes even good characters seems really random. And that bring us to:

Part 3: My Darling, Gestalt. My Type. My Weakness. What a Sad Little Thing You Are (Also misogyny)

Alright... if the rest of this review wasn’t salty enough for you... let the salt begin. Gestalt. So named because of the word meaning larger than the sum of its parts. And so they were destined to be. And so they were most definitely not. So Gestalt’s whole thing is that they are one consciousness with four bodies. They can either control one body at a time and sort of shut the others down or they can control them all at once but that becomes harder if one of them requires more attention than another, like if one is in a fight. 

Two twins (men), one fraternal brother, and a sister. If anyone is thinking “uhoh, only one girl, hmm can Daniel handle that? Seems like maybe some Smurfette style misogyny-lite is coming,” you would be wrong. Super wrong. Because it is not misogyny-lite. It’s aggressive Fight-Me-In-A-Perkins-Parking-Lot misogyny. So go fuck yourself, Dan. 

Alright, so to number Gestalt’s sins. 

1. Scrape off some of that intro mustard.

They’re introduced in the LONGEST fucking passage I’ve ever read telling me that this dude is hard to talk to and weird. Like, I’m in an urban fantasy book already, I'm all set. Also... bitch SHOW ME they’re weird. Like can I see some interactions that give me second hand embarrassment??? No. It is actually never uncomfortable to talk to Gestalt. I only know that because people are super fucking rude about them. But it is never earned. So I don’t feel sympathy when people are like “Oh noooo you have to spend a car ride with Gestalt? Ewwwww sorry.” I’m just like, “What’s your fucking problem? They seem fine.” 

2. They’re supposed to be Bad At Planning but when?? 

Alright so there ARE times they’re bad at planning and we will GET TO THAT. But it’s only post-reveal like... what we are told during a monologue that they were dumb as shit. And that wasn’t even like not being good w/ details like it’s implied they are, it’s literally like doing dumb ass stuff. And it felt more like my bud Dan didn’t have a good handle on why stuff was dumb as rain than Gestalt being silly. 

Also.... this is a stupid use of this sort of character. They’re dumb and bad at planning??? THEY’RE A JOINT CONSCIOUSNESS why would you waste that making them “Good at kicking ass.” ugh. Fine. 

3. They get sidelined IMMEDIATELY 

So a guy named Pumice Stone or Kettle or Lil boy Bad At This or something outs that Gestalt is working with the Grafters because he like.... wasn’t paying attention. It was boring. But anyway so they capture two of the bodies and then stop addressing Gestalt until the end. They have one weird scene where the protagonist like.... freaks them out but ok. Fine. Why is Gestalt so Yelly. Why are so many villains in this book yelly. Ew. 

4. The REVEAL MONOLOGUE. 

I know this is a long ass review already. But my Feelings Must be Heard. So in the end when Conrad surprises no one but “smart” Myfanwy that he was the bad guy, we also get a reveal from the surviving Gestalt bodies that:

a. There’s an incest baby

b. They’re afraid of death

c. They’re so phenomenally stupid I have lost all interest in them

So... this is where the misogyny comes in. I’ll note here that the only time we interact w/ Eliza, the special girl body, is when she takes a carried to Hogwarts the super secret magic school with Myfanwy and she doesn’t do anything except we get the internal note that she’s like... gained weight. This is the misogyny-lite we expect. (And no, Dan, you don't get any points bc a female character is the only pleased she got pudgy bc YOU wrote the female character so we’re all set there.)

And then we discover that the weird blonde (lol oh yeah they’re all hot blondes) baby that Conrad “Evil Austin Powers” British-Last-Name has with his weird wife is actually a Gestalt body that Eliza had after she boned down with her other body who is genetically a brother and consciously herself. 

K. Ok. I have. Ok. Alright. Daniel. Ok. 

SUBPART A: My Feelings about Gestalt: Oh Eliza, my darling, my dear, would that I could bring you Justice

So after Eliza is shot dead one of the interchangeable boy bodies of Gestalt yells at Myfanwy about how terrible that is bc it was the only body who could bear children so now THE HORROR they’ll die. 

For god’s fucking sake Daniel O’Malley. What the fuck is your goddamn problem. You LITERALLY wrote a Smurfette Syndrome character who is only important because she can have babies. She is literally just there to be a baby-box. What the fuck. Get fucking wrecked. Thank GOD Starz cut your program and fuck the Aurealis Awards for giving you an award for this fucking book. But they’re a sci-fi award so this is probably super progressive for them. I was pleasantly annoyed by the basic nature of this book until this part. Now I am just done with your content. This was more overtly sexist that Supernatural. So... real swing and a miss. 

ANYWAY FORTUNATELY this opens a whole new can of worms that I get to ruthlessly mock certified Basic Bitch Daniel O’Malley for. 

SubPart 2: Gestalt Raises Interesting Philosophical Questions Daniel Isn’t Smart Enough to Address

So, remember, I would have cut this dude more slack if he didn’t do that to Eliza. Gestalt, to be honest, this whole review is dedicated to what you Could Have Been. 

Interesting Questions or Comments We Could Have Asked:

Does having a baby being one of five of your bodies affect your consciousness? That thing doesn’t have object permanence? Is there like an intellectual cost to having another baby body? No, we don’t care. I think we just had there be a baby bc “Weird sister-sex” was as interesting as Daniel could get. Side Note: The obvious question of “lol haha lol is it incest or mAsTurBation is not going to be addressed here bc it is literally too boring to consider)

Does having a body who textually is said to have post-partum depression affect your joint consciousness? If not, why bring it up?? Bc she has “weird lady disease” is that why???

Are they....afraid of death????? Why didn’t you ever bring this up? Why have they showed only excitement at the prospect of very dangerous fights up to this point? Why are all four bodies in the field. 

WHY ARE ALL FOUR BODIES IN THE FIELD. Ok so here is one of those points that is definitely stupid but stupid in a dumb as dirt way. If you were afraid to lose your baby-box body, why would you send her into battle? 

Why didn’t they freeze a bunch of her eggs? In fact, why did she bear it at all? Why put your one female body that you only want for babies through that sort of danger? Canonically they all get paid an absurd amount and Gestalt is paid for each body, they can afford a surrogate.  

Why let a weird dude who is at best contemptuous of you raise your baby body? Why wouldn’t you want to do that? Doesn’t that give him a huge amount of leverage over you? 

Is the quality fo Gestalt’s form destined to decline if genetically they can only make more bodies by full genetic sibling offspring? Does that scare them? Again... does their physical brain affect their consciousness? 

If so... maybe that would be a good reason for them to want to join up with the Grafters who are way ahead in genetic research and engineering. 

ANYWAY Gestalt is sexist as shit and boring as hell and had SO MUCH WEIRD POTENTIAL. 

In summary: It was definitely fun but Fuck you, Daniel O’Malley 

[h-styles-babes]

Harry Styles Blurb/Request #11

Hey all. It’s been...the hottest of minutes since I last posted anything. So sorry about that. My depression has been a real bitch lately, but I’m feeling a little better now and I think the writing bug has finally hit me again. I have a few updates about my writing, but I will address those in a separate post later. 

Anyway, here is the highly requested second part to the “Tell me you need me blurb.” Honestly, this one will probably leave you just as unsatisfied as the first part, but I’ve left it open for another part if you guys would like. Either way, you’ve been warned.

Read Part I here.

Part II

Y/N continued on with her life. Really, what else was she to do? Sit around and wait for Harry to show back up at her door, armed with an explanation about why he’d left, sent her a message about talking to her later, and really hadn’t spoken to her in literal months? She wasn’t that type of girl in general, and she wasn’t going to start just because she was dealing with Harry Styles. They’d been friends long enough that she knew how to deal with him properly, and that typically meant mirroring his behaviour and leaving him alone until he initiated contact.

However, this was the longest they’d ever gone without any contact, so it was definitely grating on her nerves a bit. Something was off, and she didn’t like that she didn’t know what it was. She had no other choice but to live with it, though.

She’d last seen him in July, when it was scorchingly hot in London, and now it was February, and she was wearing three layers of clothes as she walked to the local Tesco in the biting wind. It was just after three in the afternoon, and she had the day off work, and figured a movie day by herself and some incredibly fattening snacks were a good way to spend it. She had a film already picked out and ready to play back at her flat, but she realised she needed more options for snacks, so a trip to the shoppe was in order.

She entered the Tesco, the electronic bell chiming as she stepped over the welcome mat. She hastily removed her gloves before picking up a hand basket and making her way to the sweets aisle.

After she’d chosen some worthy contenders, she figured she’d be a tad responsible and go pick up something to make for dinner that was simple and quick. She was an adult after all, and feeding oneself at least two meals a day seemed like an adult thing to do. And since she figured a roll of Oreos and a box of tea biscuits didn’t seem like they qualified as an actual meal, a trip to the freezer sections seemed like a good idea. While a single serving pasta meal wasn’t the healthiest option, at least it was real food.

When she turned the corner of the aisle, she was surprised to see Harry standing at the end of the aisle, peering at frozen fruit through the transparent door, seeming to be contemplating the merits of different fruits to whatever smoothies he was planning on making. Y/N was sort of astonished to see him in a grocery store himself, as opposed to his personal shopper who was usually in charge of his grocery shopping. Also, she was almost positive that she’d just seen some stupid article just the other day that stated he was in Japan, and now he was in the middle of London, in this ridiculously comfy-looking jumper and a folded up bandana tied around his head to keep his longer locks out of his face. He looked unfairly gorgeous for the whipping wind outside that he had to trek through in order to get there.

The tapping of the wellies Y/N was wearing against the linoleum floor alerted Harry to someone else’s presence at the opposite end of the aisle. He darted his head up out of habit to see who was near him, and he was struck a bit dumb when he realised it was Y/N.

Y/N had been frozen at the end of the aisle when she saw him, debating whether or not to flee the other way or carry on in her mission to get her frozen meal without really acknowledging him. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk to Harry, it was just that it seemed like this wasn’t the time to be having a conversation after not talking to one another for nearly seven months. Meeting at one of their homes seemed like a better setting for their reunion.

“Hey,” Harry called softly, blinking out of his own stupor. He cleared his throat in that nervous way he had, and that was enough to let Y/N know that this bout of silence between them was definitely different than all the ones they had before. She had felt it in her bones the entire time this radio silence had been in effect, but knowing Harry felt the same way cut her deeper than she thought it would. What had happened to them?

“Hey, H,” Y/N responded.

When he didn’t respond in any other way to her greeting, she sighed and went about her business, turning and searching for the brand she liked. She easily spotted the meal she wanted, all the while she could feel Harry’s gaze boring into the side of her face. He hadn’t moved since they’d greeted each other, the only sign he hadn’t inexplicably turned into a human statue being that she could hear him breathing and saw the slight rise and fall of his shoulders under his large jumper.

She reached in and grabbed the meal she wanted. When she turned and Harry still hadn’t moved, her hope of him saying anything else to her flitted away. She simply glanced at him before making her way down the aisle and to the front of the store in order to check out. She made polite small talk with the cashier as they checked out her items and bagged them for her in the little canvas tote she’d brought along with her. She felt Harry come up behind her to wait for his turn to check out, and she dodged around him to get out the door.

Y/N was three blocks down before she was accosted.

“Darlin’, wait,” Harry called, a few paces behind her. “Please.”

Y/N took a few more steps to contemplate whether or not she was actually going to stop and wait for him to catch up. She finally sighed as her steps slowed before coming to a complete stop. She may have been giving into his request to wait, but she wouldn’t give him the pleasure of turning toward him in anticipation. She had more dignity than that, she reckoned, and if he had something that was important enough to ask her to wait for, then he’d have to be the one to really get it going. She wasn’t willingly going to give it to him.

When Harry finally caught up to her, he stood by her side silently, seemingly waiting for her to acknowledge him. She stood with her head down, though, both blocking out the chill in the air and avoiding having to make premature eye contact with him. She couldn’t ever recall a time when she had absolutely refused to look at Harry for anything other than some petty little game they played as children. She didn’t like that she was doing it now out of self-preservation. It made her uncomfortable and left a bad feeling in her stomach. This wasn’t them, but she didn’t know how to move past it if Harry wasn’t willing to be a grown up and actually talk about his feelings or just what the fuck happened the last time they’d seen each other.

Harry huffed out a breath after a solid thirty seconds of silence between them, and Y/N saw his breath manifest in the air from the corner of her eye. She was sure he was freezing in just his jumper out in the cold of the winter, but it was his own stupid fault that he wasn’t dressed in something warmer.

Finally, Harry said in a timid sort of voice, “Can we talk?”

Y/N snorted out a sound of disbelief that caused Harry to clench his jaw. She looked up at him through her eyelashes, and while that was a move that Harry typically found alluring, tonight it was a bit menacing, and he wasn't sure how to react to it.

“Seven months and now yeh wanna talk?” she asked incredulously before dipping her head back down to avoid looking at him. “You’re fuckin’ unbelievable.”

Harry ran his free hand over his face as Y/N began walking off again, in the direction of her flat. He left hr keep walking until she got to the end of the street, contemplating his next move, before he took off after her once more.

“I’m sorry I dropped off the face of the earth for months. I had some business stuff to take care of,” he told her, and it sounded incredibly fake to his ears. There had been business stuff, but he’d taking care of that in about a week. The rest of the time he’d spent trying to screw his head back on right, and apparently spending time in foreign countries with people he didn’t really know was the way to do it. He was lying to her, and he didn’t really understand why. He’d never lied to her before. Not about anything serious, at least.

Y/N could obviously tell he was bullshitting her, too, because she scoffed at him, continuing walking at a pace to try to get him to back off. She was no longer in the mood to hear him out. He didn’t seem to want to talk candidly with her, so she wasn’t going to force his hand. Apparently their fifteen-plus years of friendship meant nothing anymore.

“Whatever, Harry. None of my business. Just stop lyin’ to me. Better to not talk to me than give me shit excuses we both know are fake.”

Harry wasn’t surprised by her call out. She was never one to beat around the bush with him. It was one of the reasons he loved hanging out with her. Among several other things, but it was nice when he now lived in a world that told him what he wanted to hear in some strange attempt to appease him.

“If you’re gonna keep yellin’ at me, can we at least go to a more private area?” Harry asked, looking around to watch out for any stray cameras or overly interested bystanders. No corner of his life was really safe from watchful eyes anymore. He’d kept a relatively clean slate for himself since he’d become famous, and he didn’t want his first big scandal to be his best friend yelling at him in the middle of a London street in the middle of the day. No one seemed to be paying them any mind, too busy trying to make it to their destination to get out of the cold, but you never knew.

“What? Wanna get me back to my place so you can fuck me and leave again? I’m not in the mood, Harry.”

“Jesus,” Harry yelped, darting forward to gently grab onto her wrist. “Please don’t say shit like that in public.”

“I can say whatever the fuck I want,” she snarled, finally looking him in the eyes. She was sure they were licking with flames the way Harry’s eyes widened in response, but she couldn’t really be bothered. She was angry, and she made sure he knew it.

“Please,” Harry begged, definitely not above it at this point. “Let’s go back to yours and I’ll explain.”

Y/N huffed and didn’t verbally answer him, but she didn’t tell him to fuck off as she started walking again, so Harry took that as a good sign. They walked in complete silence, though Y/N was grumbling to herself about his inability to be a fucking man and just speak to her like normal people. She understood not wanting to have a private conversation in the middle of the street, especially when you were a highly sought after celebrity, but it was his fault to begin with that it had come to this. Seven fucking months! That was all on him.

She knew something strange had shifted between them that night, and while she didn’t blame Harry for being a little startled by the gravity of it and the intensity of what they’d done, which was so different than it had been all the times before, but that certainly didn’t excuse all of his behaviour. They were adults for fuck’s sake. And adults talked to one another with an open line of communication where opinions could be expressed and feeling could be understood. Leaving under the dark of the night with a single text that never had any follow up was no way to conduct oneself, and Y/N was going to make sure that Harry knew that as soon as he told her whatever he needed to say.

When they finally made it back to her flat, Harry kindly took her bag from her so that she could unlock the door. He went straight to the kitchen to start putting away their things, placing his frozen fruit right alongside her frozen pasta meal as if he lived her. And while his comfort with treating her home as his own usually warmed Y/N’s heart, she was angry with him at the current moment, so it just pissed her off more than anything. She wanted to growl at him to let his shit defrost since he was dumb enough to buy frozen food when he obviously thought there was a possibility he wouldn’t be going straight home, but she let it go. She wasn’t that big of a bitch, no matter how much the words were itching to come out of her mouth.

“Let’s have it, then,” she told him, shucking off her coat and hanging it in the small closet in the entryway. “Let’s have your amazing reason for why you left me hanging for seven fucking months. Why I woke up to a fucking bland text about how you had to go and you’d talk when you could. Why the only reason I even knew you were alive is because of some fucking rag article about you being in Japan. Why I suddenly became the least important person in your life. What the fuck did I do, Harry?”

“You didn’t do anything,” Harry told her, his voice sounding small compared to the near shouting she was doing.

“Then what the fuck? You’ve never completely cut me out like this before.” Her voice broke in the middle of the sentence, suddenly realising she was on the verge of tears. She hadn’t properly understood her own emotions surrounding this whole situation. She was hurt and she was angry. Her best friend had left her in the dust. For no fucking reason, apparently. Even when he'd been gone for months, he’d text her, send her funny memes, call her if he had the time. There’d never been radio silence like this before, and she didn’t feel good about it.

“I’m fucking in love with you!” Harry shouted, his voice finally matching the volume hers was at. His words made all of Y/N’s anger die in her chest instantly. Harry took a deep breath and her volume lowered. “I’m in love with you, and I’m fucking scared.”

Y/N’s tears finally fell, rolling down her cheeks far too dramatically for her own liking. She gulped. “Why are you scared?”

Harry clenched his jaw. He wanted to go to her and wipe away her tears. He’d never liked seeing her cry, and he’d never been the source of them before. It was killing him, but he wasn’t sure he could handle having her so close to him right then. His own emotions were raw and it was taking everything in him to say what he felt he had to.

“Because you have the power to fucking wreck me.”

[sunshineandstorm]

Hey Jude (Sam Kiszka x Reader - Fluff)

Here you were this morning, phone in hand, ignoring the rest of the world.

@gunpowdergelatin: So how's the weather there?

@ClinkFloyd: Gloomy. It's been raining non-stop since this morning.

@gunpowdergelatin: Really? Wow. It's literally the same here.

@ClinkFloyd: It's okay, though. Your presence makes up for it.

You couldn't help but grin like a mindless idiot as soon as you finished reading the last message he sent. You leaned against your locker, unsure of what to do with the butterflies in your stomach.

How were you supposed to respond to a message like that?

Too busy racking your brain for a decent reply, you were snapped out of your trance when your best friend clapped her hands loudly in front of you.

"Jesus, Grace. You startled me." you say, clutching your chest.

"Bitch, I had to. Why were you grinning so hard? Did Harry Styles finally top the reader in this smashing fic that you're reading?"

Bold of her to assume you were reading fan fiction. Whatever made you smile from ear to ear was undoubtedly so much better than the feels trip you occasionally take in the land of make believe.

"Shut up. I'm not you." you retorted, not wanting her to think you were still stuck in that phase.

Grace furrowed her eyebrows as she tried her hardest to guess the reason why you were beaming. You started walking the hallway to your room, her, following closely behind. The moment she kept up with your pace, she began pestering you with all the questions you answered unenthusiastically.

"I wasn't watching a rom-com either. Just forget it."

"No, I'm not gonna stop until you tell me what happened." she insisted, refusing to back down.

You groan as your walking came to a halt, turning to your stubborn best friend beside you. You contemplated telling her for a while, afraid that she'll think you're stupid for smiling because of a sweet message you received.

Well, it's not like you didn't have the right to. It's just that the person who sent it to you is someone you absolutely know nothing about. You know that he's your age, a classic rock fan just like you are, and that he loves music just as much as you do, but much to your chagrin, that's the bloody extent of it.

You have no idea what he looks like or where he's from. Hell, you don't even know his name. You mentally pat yourself on the back for not knowing basic information about this guy that you've been talking to for a month now, just telling yourself that neither of you bothers to inquire because of how good the conversations get as a sop. And even though you were deprived of his personal info, you did know his deepest and weirdest thoughts, making you feel closer to him in a way.

But if you say you're not a little interested about his personal life, then you'd be lying.

You averted your gaze from the ground to Grace, sighing as you decide to just give in and spill. It's not like she didn't already know everything about you anyway.

"Fine. It's Jude. He said something sweet. Are you happy now?" you shared, immediately regretting your decision as soon as more questions were raised.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're still talking to that guy?"

"So?"

Damn it.

You knew it. You knew you shouldn't have brought him up.

"So? Y/N, you hardly know this guy!"

"But he and I are just talking!"

"Okay, yeah, sure. But occasionally, you flirt with each other and maybe even sext. Bitch, how can I be sure you're not dating this guy through Twitter?"

Your eyes widen at her allegations. You were stunned, partly because she's accusing you of something she would do, but mostly because she's scolding you for it instead of supporting you.

Normally, Grace would tell you that you're too uptight or that you need to let loose and have fun, so having her nag you like she's doing at the moment greatly astounds you. You suppose she's just looking out for you like any best friend would, but she tends to be more impulsive than you, so she's really left you confounded right now.

"Chill, mom. We do nothing but talk about dead or old musicians. And personally, I don't see anything wrong with that." you said, defending yourself.

Grace sighed, admitting to herself that your reasoning made sense, but she still found the whole set-up ridiculous nonetheless.

"Okay, but didn't it ever occur to you that this dude's probably a two?"

You gave her a look of disbelief.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Dude, if he's a ten, then his icon would've been a picture of himself instead of Jim freakin' Morrison."

She has a point, but you were certain that yours is a far better one.

"Well, has it ever occured to you that maybe he wants to keep his personal life private? Stan accounts exist for a goddamn reason, Grace, and it's not so he can show the world how good-looking or unattractive he is."

True enough, fan accounts are dedicated to any phenomenon that floats your boat. Grace didn't have trouble understanding this. She just so happens to find the idea of you, conversing with a total stranger on a daily basis really dumb that she's not holding back from giving you a list of reasons why you shouldn't do so anymore.

"And it doesn't matter if he turns out to be an ugly guy. I'm not dating him, nor do I have any plans to." you added, hoping that she'd stop bombarding you with her arguments.

How concerned she is of your actions is making you feel like you're sinful, and as if you're making the biggest mistake of your life. You thought you've already made her understand your explanation and believe your statement, but you were wrong. She wouldn't let the issue slide, which is unlikely.

"You don't even know what his actual name is!" she said, completely disregarding what you've said prior to her comment.

Another thing that bugs you is that you had no choice but to refer to him as Jude since he has "Hey Jude" as his Twitter name. It's probably not the most practical decision you've ever made, but the lack of essential information sharing between the two of you has prompted you to resort to that solution.

"Oh, come on. As long as I'm not crossing the line, then I'm not doing anything wrong! Can we just drop it and talk about other stuff?"

"Fine." Grace huffed, accepting defeat.

"I was going to drop some bomb on you before things went haywire anyway." she informed you, not wanting to argue with you over this mysterious dude you call "Jude" anymore.

You inched closer to her, having forgotten about Jude for a second as you anticipated the juicy gossip she's about to tell you. You grabbed her arm and shook it, urging her to spare the details already.

"Are you going to tell me or not?"

"Chill, baby cakes. It's about Sam."

Samuel Francis Kiszka. That perfect assortment of chromosomes. Oh, how greatly you loved his long brown locks, his glowing skin, and his prepossessing smile. You've had a crush on that boy since forever, but you only ever talked when you needed to and he never really looked your way. Your interest in him dwindled the moment you interacted with Jude on Twitter, but it's not like you're a loss to him.

You, losing your feelings for him does not affect him in any way since he could care less about you. And besides, he always has a string of girls, pining after him wherever he chooses to go.

"Oh. What about him?"

Typically, you're all ears when literally anyone has anything Sam-related to say, but having Jude to talk to has really made you less interested in him.

If Grace noticed how indifferent you seemed after she mentioned Sam, she chose to ignore it.

"He already has a new girl. I wouldn't say they're dating, though, 'cause I overheard his conversation with Danny and learned that he and this chick are just talking as of now. But according to Sam, things are getting pretty serious." she said as a matter-of-factly.

"Oh. Good for him."

Now it's Grace's turn to give you a look of disbelief. She didn't expect you would react this way. This is the first time she's seen you so nonchalant about Sam. She tried to appear as unsurprised as possible, but her facial expression betrayed her, finding it hard to close her mouth that's currently agape. Never in her wildest dreams did she think you wouldn't be bothered by the idea of Sam, dating someone else that's not you.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"What?" you asked, blinking, confused by her question.

"The last time you found out Sam has a girlfriend, you bawled your eyes out. And now you're out here, unaffected, and saying shit like, 'good for him'? What kind of supernatural being possessed you?"

You chuckled. You tried to give her an answer, but you couldn't find any. You truly didn't know what happened. It could be the fact that you ran out of feelings for Sam because your relationship with him never really progressed after all these years. On the other hand, it could be the fact that you met Jude and grew awfully close to him.

"I don't know. I think it's just that... I found another person to give my attention to."

Grace scoffed, looking pretty disgusted by your response.

"Please don't tell me you're referring to this son of a bitch named Jude."

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but yes." you said, dragging her inside your classroom.

"Seriously, Y/N. Eww."

"I don't care what you think, G."

Settling into your seat, you were alarmed upon realizing that you didn't reply to Jude's last message. You quickly fished your phone out of your pocket to send him a message, not wanting him to think he made things weird. The two of you continued to message each other until your physics teacher entered your classroom. It's funny how you didn't only have the gloomy weather in common for both your annoyingly punctual teachers arrived at the same time.

Your mind temporarily shut out thoughts of him as you tried your best to answer this headache of a quiz that was given to you.

- - -

"You guys are still talking?" Grace asked, exasperated, swallowing the food she was chewing.

"We are."

"Grace, seriously. We're just talking. You're worried for nothing." you tried, convincing your best friend to stop giving you dirty looks.

"Fine. What are you guys talking about right now?"

You smiled even though she just rolled her eyes at you, knowing that she wouldn't be able to resist you, no matter how insane she thought you were being.

"He just asked me what my favorite John Denver song is."

"The Music Is You? Sounds cheesy." Grace said after peeking at your conversation with Jude in your phone.

"Trust me, G. Every guy you've dated is way cheesier."

Grace was just about to say something snarky when Sam had an outburst. You and Grace exchanged looks before diverting your attention to Sam and his friends. Thank God you can hear them perfectly from your lunch table.

"Oh, what is it now?" Danny asked, just as annoyed as Grace was a minute ago.

"Her favorite John Denver song is The Music Is You!" Sam answered, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Oh.

My.

God.

Fuck.

Both you and Grace's eyes shot wide open, Sam's words leaving the both of you dumbfounded. Is this really happening? You were too shocked to tell.

You couldn't move. You lost the capability to speak. Your brain won't even form sentences, let alone words right now as it refused to process what your ears had heard. Suddenly, all that you felt was this abnormal pounding sensation in your chest.

If you thought Sam Kiszka couldn't make you weak anymore, you've never been so wrong.

- - -

A/N: PART TWO.

[jinjojess]

Oh, All-knowing Jess, hear my call and drive away my doubts: how was received in Japan the datamining of the beta of Pokémon Gold? What do you think about it? Are some Pokémon you like or want in actual games? (Personally, my favourite is that creepy Pinsir, for some reasons it reminds me of the Kaonashi from Spirited Away!)

You know, that’s a good question. I’ve seen some fanart and reactions on Twitter, but I didn’t really follow it much, sorry!

To make it up to you, I will now review all of the betas:

Chikorita! 

Yay! I think I’ve made it very clear that I am a big fan of this little plant nugget, so I don’t have much to add really.

10/10

AAAGGGGHHH?! 

What the fuck is this thing? How does this relate to Chikorita or Meganium, who are both largely unchanged from their beta designs? Where are the eyes? Like I’m diggin’ the tiny smug face-looking thing at the top of the bulb, but what’s the deal with the huge single eye down below? Where did the legs go? Why does the body shape change so drastically in the in-between stage when both the first and third stages are quadrupeds?!

0/10 would not trade Bayleef for it

Meganium

Whew, okay. Back on familiar ground here. Meganium is likely my least favorite of the Johto starters’ final forms, but I still like my big, dumb boy.

8/10

Tepkon 

Awww~!

So unpopular opinion, but for a long time I really disliked cyndaquil’s design. I’ve come around to it these days, but back when GS came out, it really put me off. This thing is absolutely adorable, and though the design isn’t super inspired, I still fucking love it.

7/10 wouldn’t trade cyndaquil for it, but would love to see the design reworked for future games

Chubby quilava

This is like quilava’s cousin who grows up to discover that he’s actually more of a bear than a twink. Really like it–seems very cuddly.

7/10 like quilava better but I support this thicc boi

Kirara

Seriously, this is basically just Kirara from Inuyasha. Not as crazy about this design as its pre-evos, especially since it seems like it’s trying to edge in on arcanine’s floof territory. An okay pokemon, but not a fave.

6/10 would not trade typhlosion for it

Baby Nessie

Totodile was one of those pokemon that I had been low-key hoping for, but I gotta admit that this is one adorable little fucker. Look at its stubby limbs! Its cute snoot! Its pudgy tail!

6/10 would not trade totodile but would love to see in another game

Let me clear my thoat (I hope ya don’t mind)

I am…less enthused about the middle evo. The eyes are cute and the little shy smile is to die for, but the…ballast? on its throat kind of looks like a giant boil and I’m not really here for that.

4/10 no thanks I’ll keep croconaw

Dragonair but with legs

The final evo I like a bit more–it looks like a dragonair that struck up a deal with Ursula the sea witch so that it could pursue its land-dwelling love. Now that the gem isn’t jammed right up under the chin it’s less off-putting, and the kind of fang-looking necklace is a Good Look.

6/10 still prefer feraligatr but GameFreak please dust off this design

Hoot-Hoot’s just really into henna right now

I’ve never been a huge fan of hoot-hoot, and I kind of like the extra markings. I assume they were taken off to make the design less busy as well as giving it a fanned tail, but I think I’d actually prefer this one.

5/10 would replace regular hoot-hoot with this one

It is the night

Okay, here we go! Now this is a cool-looking pokemon that would make training up a damn hoot-hoot worth it. Noctowl is a decent pokemon in the game since it means you get access to psychic moves early in the game, but I’ve always thought the design looked too goofy. I like irl owls a lot and this design really speaks to me.

8/10 go back in time and give teenage me this bird instead

Mareep

There’s not a ton to say here other than they lightened up mareep’s fleshy bits in the final release, and I like mareep quite a bit so there we go. Instead, I want to draw attention to this disaster of a backsprite. What am I even looking at? A giant ball of cotton candy that rolled through a bunch of broken candy canes?

9/10 I mean I like mareep, but I gotta take off a point for that awful backsprite

Flaaffy

Flaaffs seems largely unchanged. I’m pretty partial to this boi as well, especially since I had one following me for a bit in my Japanese Soul Silver game.

8/10 I like flaaffy, but fuck that name spelling

Ampharos

One of my fave Gen 2 pokemon! Doesn’t seem to have much different about it, though I did always question where the delightful floof went. I mean we get it back in the mega evolution but still. What was that about, GameFreak?

9/10 docked a point for lack of floof

Mikon

So this is clearly a pre-evo idea for vulpix, and it’s pretty damn cute. I love that with the addition of this member to the family, it’s confirmed that the line increases its number of tails by 3 every time it evolves. I like this, but I’m not entirely sold on it. The face lacks some detail and I feel like the design isn’t different enough from vulpix to really feel necessary.

7/10 it’s cute but I don’t think vulpix needs a pre-evo

Mahou Shoujo Green

This tangela pre-evo is pretty cute, though the body underneath kind of reminds me a bit too much of oddish. I mean maybe it’d be cool to look at the oddish line and the tangela line and see how two related species had off-shoots, but I am not really the biggest fan of baby pokemon as an institution so these will all be a hard sell for me, sorry.

6/10 again, cute but unecessary

Tangrowth as imagined by CalArts

I loved tangela a lot back in the day, and tangrowth is a really interesting pokemon as well…however this one has a little bow and ringlet hair so like, no contest, really.

9/10 this should be an alternate evo option for tangela (perhaps for females?)

i could be your angle or yuor devil

So this one is kinda cool in concept. It’s clearly drawing influence from Japanese kites, and the scary face might be an evolutionary feature designed to scare off predators…that or it’s a flying/ghost or flying/dark type and the angel imagery is the ruse. Either way I fucking love this thing.

10/10 I want this concept revisited

Qwilfish

I like qwilfish a lot! It’s got cool typing, it can perform decently on a rain team, and it’s based on a pufferfish. It’s definitely an underdog in the wider world, but not in my heart.

10/10

The Fish Who Lived

I have…reservations about this evolution though. As cool as it would be to have a qwilfish evolution, this just isn’t doing it for me. It’s kinda cool that it’s shaped like a naval mine, and the Harry Potter scar is pretty cute, but I can get over the dead-eyed stare.

4/10 yeah no I think I’m happy to wait for better evo ideas to come along

Pichu

Pichu’s cute enough I guess but I’ve never liked it as much as pikachu and sure as hell not as much as my boy raichu. However if the baby version was this roly poly cutie, I think I’d be more into it. This style of pre-evo harkens back to the good ol’ days of fat pikachu, and therefore I must doff my cap to it.

8/10 with a bit of polishing I would take this over pichu for sure

Cleffa

Okay, so of the baby pokemon, of which I am generally not fond, cleffa is by far my favorite because of how cute it is. This is also extremely cute. I like picturing the trainer being able to just grab the thing by the little knob on its head if it’s heading toward danger. Plus that tail nub is so cute! I don’t know that I could choose between this version and the actual cleffa.

9/10 would be a 10 but Nate once said “what if cleffa’s hands were its nipples?” and now I can’t unsee it

Igglybuff

Iggly has always reminded me of the Powerpuff Girls, but this beta version is so…delightfully round. God, it’s like hypnotizing how round it is. You wouldn’t have to show this from above to trick someone in a silhouette quiz. The tiny, wide-set eyes are also both piercing and kind of unassuming, which I can’t decide is cute or terrifying.

8/10 think I’d swap this guy in for the existing igglybuff

Quagsire!

I freaking LOVE quagsire. It’s so derpy, I love water/ground types, and just everything about it is cute and makes me want to hug it. The only problem with it in this beta is that there’s no wooper.

10/10 bring wooper with you bro

Natu

I’ve always thought natu was cute and really neat in concept, but I’ve never actually sat down and trained one. This sprite isn’t too different from its final one, but it is missing the color scheme, which is one of the reasons I like it.

6/10 stop being so washed out!

Xatu

Also largely unchanged from its final design, though I do prefer the Silver sprite where its wings are spread. (And I’m sorry about this, but some of the pictures will have bits of other sprites in them, since it was hard cutting these all down in Paint with a trackpad.)

7/10 very unique

Prince(ss) of the sea

Is this a pre-evo of goldeen and seaking, and I can see why it was cut. Who thought either of those would be popular enough to warrant a baby form?

2/10 fuck yeah was a meme guys, it wasn’t sincere

Marill

Marill’s okay. I think it’s fairly cute, and the design they went with using smaller ears and non-clown feet is better imo. Plus this is really minor but it’s bothering me that despite the codename “pikablu” this sprite is pink.

6/10 solid cute pokemon, but the final design is better

Finding Flounder

So I’m a big fan of lanturn because of its digimon-esque eyes and its cool typing. Chinchou I’m…eh on. This cutie though, I could get used to this.

8/10 cute eyes are better than terrifying cross eyes I’m sorry

Clanker’s Cavern

As I just said, I like lanturn a lot. However, this is a shark with an anchor attached. That’s like if you left dhelmise and sharpedo at the day care on the same day an enemy team spilled plutonium all over the yard. It’s so stupid! I love this thing so damn much.

8/10 it’s way too similar to other existing pokemon, but I still kind of want it anyway

Homsar

This thing kind of scares me. The gaping mouth, the wide eyes, and the fact that it clearly would inhabit deep parts of the ocean all make me want to nope out. That said though, I respect it.

6/10 glad they came back to this idea with elektross

Crobat

If you’ve ever battled me in one of our local or online tournaments, you will know that I have a soft spot for crobat. I think golbat’s design is kind of terrible, zubat is simplistic yet kinda cute, and crobat gets to be both cute/cool and also not suck completely in battle (see what I did there?). This design seems mostly unchanged.

8/10 a very good bro

Most likely to drive an airbrushed van

This paras pre-evo looks like it’s inspired by a lovely whimsical creature from Wonderland or Fantasia. I kind of like having a pre-evo to show that at the start the sinister mushrooms allow the baby para to call the shots, biding its time until takes over the entire nervous system as a parasect. Really not feeling the face, though.

5/10 cute, interesting idea, but I don’t know if I want to add more baby pokemon to the mix

Spinarak

I have some mild arachnophobia, but I actually rather like spinarak since it’s so adorable. This version is a little more true to life and not as adorable. Also wtf GameFreak stop giving your arachnids six legs!

5/10 very much prefer the final design but kinda reminds me of the little jumpy bois I catch and release from inside my apartment sometimes

Ariados

Again with the six legs thing. Ugh. Anyway, this beta version of ariados is actually much cuter than the one we ended up getting in the final game. I’m pretty lukewarm on ariados in general (my spider boi of choice is the far superior galvantula), but look at this thing’s face! Look at the face on its body! It’s cute even when it’s trying to be scary!

6/10 why did we not get this adorable boi?!

Skarmory

It’s skarmory. That’s it. A pokemon that I like in theory but have never been super into his design.

5/10 respectably cool but not my cup of tea

Alphonse Elric’s head in chibi form, screaming as his body melts

Here it is. My favorite of all of the beta sprites. This thing is so fucking wonderful in part because I have literally no idea what the hell it’s supposed to be. What is this?! What type is it supposed to be? What is it based on? Is it a pre-evo of an existing mon? Why is its mouth parted in an eternal screech? These questions do not necessarily have answers, and I am a sucker for mystery.

10/10 GameFreak please bring this idea to life just so that I can get closure

Mine! Mine!

So I see what they were going for. It’s a baby form of doduo, with three baby bird heads and a big puff of feathers to make it look like a brood peeking out of a nest. I respect the idea, I do. Too bad it also conjures up images in my head of rat kings and other fused abominations. 

5/10 a good idea that didn’t pan out so well

[Obligatory Undertale Reference]

Sunflora would actually probably be more intimidating if it had an evolution rather than a pre-evo, though. I’m no big fan of sunflora, but I gotta say that this sprite is way better than the one we ended up getting.

6/10 replace existing sunflora with this bullet seed-spewing former skiddo

The Littlest Babaar

I’ve never really been into elephants as a species. Like they’re cool, but they’re pretty middle of the pack for me in terms of my animal preferences. As a result, I always found donphan kind of disappointing. However, I do like phanpy quite a bit, if only for the fact that it’s goddamn adorable. This sprite is a bit plain, but does bring the cuteness.

6/10 prefer the final design but this one ain’t bad at all

Donphan

The Don hasn’t changed much at all as far as I can tell. I’ve never trained one in Gen 2, so is its backsprite really just its trunk? If so, hilarious.

5/10 congrats! you exist!

That’s the statement of the grave mint, Doublemint

I can’t decide if this was intended to be a pre-evo for ghastly or if it’s supposed to be a new ghost type (perhaps later replaced by misdreavus?). Either way it’s an interesting concept, and I can imagine the pokedex entry now: “Born from the souls of fetuses who were eaten in-utero by their siblings. Since they feel they were destined to be twins, they find each other shortly after death and fuse together so that they’ll never be alone again.”

7/10 not the most original design but damn we had a shortage of ghost types back in the day

Girafarig

Girafarig is one of those pokemon that I always wanted to be more competitively viable because I think it has a unique design and could fill a cool niche. I like that the final design has the tail as an evolutionary measure and that there’s a smaller brain in it, just like some real life creatures. That said, we really missed out on getting a face full of evil uniraffe in the backsprite. Man, this is a real tough choice.

7/10 let’s keep girafarig as is and try out this concept on a different mon

Smeargle

This version of him seems a bit more…simian than his final, kinda canine design. Not sure if I dig it. Also, have you noticed that Gen 2 felt obligated to have a ditto/mew type mon that could mimic all the other mons? I feel like this concept gets revisited every so often and GameFreak thinks we’re none the wiser.

5/10 flesh beret just isn’t okay

Coin Kitty

So I know I said I’m against baby pokemon on principle, but the fact that this thing never saw the light of day upsets me so much. It’s so. fucking. CUTE.

10/10 go back in time and replace skitty with this

Betty Boop’s best friend

I get the feeling that this dark type cat got recycled into the purrloin line, but this one is way cooler imo. It references the old adage of “belling the cat” and I think that this pokemon line could have had some really cool sound-based signature moves (sorta similar to the whismur or jangmo-o lines).

9/10 not feeling the bipedal thing, but still a really neat concept I’d like to see

Luna

Again, I love the idea of a pokemon based on a fable. I can see why this particular design didn’t get used, given how simple it is and how closely it resembles umbreon if you just glance at it, but I’d love to see this revisited.

7/10 spruce up the design a bit and get back to me

Politoed’s wild ride

So when I first met politoed I felt he was a bit too…cutesy? Like the rosy cheeks were a bit much. This guy feels a bit more like he belongs in the poliwag line, though he doesn’t look like he’d be as bouncy.

6/10 might replace existing politoed design, might not

Slowking

Though I prefer slowbro as my yadon evo of choice, slowking is pretty awesome in his own right. Not a big fan of the clown ruffle, but honestly it’s kind of a minor setback all things considered. 

7/10 remember how he could randomly talk in the 2nd pokemon movie? That was fucked up.

Unknown

All of these cool, unsued beta designs, and this one gets to stay in?

1/10 don’t talk to me right now, GameFreak

Ledyba

It’s ledyba. One of the bug types I’m actually not really all that into. Pretty sure this is the sprite actually used in Gold.

4/10 fine just not for me

I see you

Ledian’s deal as a superhero is kinda cool, even if I don’t particularly care for the actual design. And I gotta say, it’s preferable to the ever-watching eyes of this thing. Those stars aren’t natural; they’re tattoos for each trainer its killed.

3/10 I feel like I need to go lie down

My Little Shetland Pony

Clearly this is intended to be a ponyta baby form, and while I commend the idea of a foal version (or maybe a Shetland or something?), you may notice that there is very, very little to set this pre-evo apart from ponyta. Like it and and rapidash aren’t exactly the most daring design-wise, so stripping it to the essentials doesn’t really work.

5/10 this is cute as all hell but it has no reason to exist

Espeon

Though I get shit all the time for liking espeon the least out of all the eeveelutions, I do still think the design is neat, and the fact that it draws from the nekomata myth is fascinating. Backsprite is a bit janky in the hips department–yet another unrealistic beauty standard, amirite ladies?

7/10 I personally don’t think there are any bad eeveelutions

Umbreon!

My absolute favorite Gen 2 pokemon! Not many changes between this and the final design, though I will say that this one looks a lot more terrifying–the hole eyes are worse than the red ones somehow. Still, love.

10/10 listen this is my personal rating

Alolan Shellder

This one is so fascinating to me. It’s obviously the chompy boi from slowbro and slowking, which in the pokedex is referred to as a shellder, but perhaps this is a unique evolution that only happens when it disconnects from the slowpoke? I am really upset this wasn’t actually used in the game, because getting to have this thing on the same team as slowpoke, slowbro, and slowking would have been like when Banjo-Tooie introduced the mechanic that let Banjo and Kazooie split up.

10/10 give me, dammit!

Garbage Pail Kid

Again with the baby form for a line that already is known for extremely simple designs. Grimer and muk are literally just piles of slime of differing sizes. (Shut up, Alolan forms weren’t a thing til later.) So basically this baby form is fucking adorable, and I’m loving the thing that could be a nose but I’m choosing to interpret as a mouth with a single tooth. It’s just that…who needs this?

7/10 cute, but not necessary by any stretch of imagination

Are ya feelin’ lucky, punk?

Okay, so this beta is a) way cooler than remoraid ended up being, and b) makes the evolution line make SO MUCH more sense. I can definitely see why it was changed, especially since censor-happy America was a legit market by that point. And I guess the revolver barrel part of the design still persisted in Gen 2, but still.

5/10 booo censorship!

TANK!

Octillary’s name also makes way more sense with the original tank design. I mean I can kinda see why this changed, but like…Digimon was over there with a creature in the anime just literally called Tankmon who shoots shells at elementary schoolers so I don’t fucking know. 

7/10 I like octillary as is, but this is a much more interesting design

WWE fan

Okay so real talk, I am not the biggest fan of tyrogue’s design, but what was even going on here? What’s with the frog hat? Is it a safety helmet? The general hitmonlee body shape combined with the baby boxing gloves for hitmonchan was pretty cool, but this is not something I’d look at and think “Yes, this will grow up to be a humonoid fighting type.”

5/10 it’s…cute? I guess I just don’t see what’s going on here really

shaga;lsdkfhahdgajspd[f

NO. JUST NO. THERE ARE TOO MANY THINGS HAPPENING HERE, TOO MANY LIMBS, TOO MANY EYES, JUST NO. HITMONTOP ENDED UP BEING SILLY BUT AT LEAST IT WASN’T THIS MANGLED BODY HORROR NONSENSE.

0/10 for reminding me of claydol and my own mortality

Pupper

This is going to come as a surprise, but I’m glad they didn’t introduce a baby form of growlithe. The growlithe and arcanine line includes 2 of my top 3 pokemon ever and as cute as this is I don’t think it would fit aesthetically. It looks like a spaniel that doesn’t match the shisa vibe of the growlithe line. That said, I would love to see it as a first form for a different line of perhaps…ground type doggos?

9/10 please give us some floppy ear dog designs, GameFreak! new doggos!

Like, nya

I do think the hoppip line (except for the last evo) is pretty cute, and this one reminds me a bit of an in-training digimon so I’m liking it. That said, I think the designs we got were better.

6/10 cute but like existing hoppip

Gardnyar

Again, prefer Skiploom.

5/10 not a fan of the flower for some reason

Nyancat theme plays in the distance

So I like this better than jumpluff personally, even if the other is probably a more unique design.

5/10 jumpluff’s limbs bother me, but lbr I was never going to train one anyway

New this Easter

Mr. Mime, I think we can all agree, is an unsettling design. That’s its whole appeal, really. Mime Jr. is cute enough I guess, but this is a tiny clown egg that looks like it’s learning to ice skate for the first time!

6/10 get your derpy clown nose out of here, Mime Jr.

Agatha’s apprentice

Smoochum is…well, she is. She’s kinda cute, and I think I prefer the finished design to this one since it looks way too similar to grown up jynx. Plus it raises some uncomfortable questions about it being born with ganguro make-up and hair (in a style that looks like E4 Agatha’s for some reason). This smoochum looks like it’d be taken out to sit alone at the bar in the club while wearing booty shorts that read “Mama’s Lil’ Bitch” across the back.

4/10 this makes me uncomfortable, and the hair is too close to Agatha’s

Which way to the Chao Garden?

Elekid is one of few baby pokemon I like, but hot damn this thing is adorable. It looks like a tiny, wingless bee with a halo.

7/10 can this be recycled as something else?

Bart Simpson

Really what keeps me from fully embracing the magmar line is largely the fact that they all have butts on their heads. These spikes are way more appealing to me, and so I would have loved having this one in the game.

8/10 is it still too late to redesign magby?

Bellossom

Not too many changes from the beta. I am digging the shoujo sparkles going on around her, haha.

6/10 not a big bellossom fan but a well-design pokemon nonetheless

Audrey III

Nope, I don’t like this, no sir. Where would this even go in the evo line? Is it supposed to be an alternative to victreebel? Cause this isn’t much better, guys.

1/10 I will give it one point since it looks like it could cut a rug on the dance floor

Miltank

A good, solid pokemon I’m pretty fond of (once I got over my salt from the Whitney battle). I like her as a female counterpart to tauros. Nothing too astounding but still fun and cute.

8/10 

Fire Seal

I feel like there’s folklore here, but my tired brain isn’t coming up with anything at the moment, sadly. Not a really detailed design but those tend to be more my favorites anyway. Trying to figure out what this was replaced by in the final game but I’m having a tough time figuring it out.

7/10 we have a lot of seals, but this is the only FIRE seal

Delibird

I see we chose the path with more subtlety in the end.

4/10 not really a big fan of delibird

Hanshin Hopeful

Okay, I know I said earlier that the screaming pile of goo was my favorite, but this line is also my favorite out of these beta designs. This one upsets me because this would have been such a great cultural addition! Osaka (represented by Goldinrod City in the games) has a baseball team called the Hanshin Tigers, which everyone in the area is a fervent fan of. Not only is this unbearably cute, it could have been hanging out in like a little baseball stadium area or something in or around Goldinrod. 

10/10 how could you leave this out?!

Nandeyanen!!

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Why did I not get this?! The Akihabara of Osaka is even called “DenDen Town” (Electric Town)!

10/10 we’ve missed our chance and now amends cannot be made

Talk to the wing

Is this supposed to be a farfetch’d evolution?! It doesn’t make a ton of sense aside from the waterfowl connection, but like…how pissed would you be if you were farfetch’d? This is kinda cool. I’m not super into swans or anything, but the masquerade/crime fighter mask is a neat detail.

5/10 I could see this being used interestingly, even if I’d probably not use it

Hitori Kakurenbou

I love this concept. Look at this! I know it was basically recycled for shuppet’s line, but this is so much more hardcore. Now this is a pokemon that can use curse appropriately.

10/10 personally like this one better than shuppet, if I’m being honest

Hsien-ko

This is the most Chinese pokemon since arcanine, oh my god. It’s a panda jiangshi. A panda jiangshi! Imagine it hopping after you adorably, ready to leech life you to death.

9/10 it’s not as cute as the pre-evolution, but still–panda jiangshi!!!

Murkrow

Not a lot of changes going on here either, aside from the more obvious witch’s hat design. Unsure if I like this one better or regular murkrow.

7/10 good flappy friend

*uncomfortable cough*

Blissey’s design is a bit too busy and frilly for my tastes, but it’s certainly a lot more acceptable than this. I get what they were going for: a heart on top of its head to represent healing and whatnot, but it just came out so…so yonic in nature that I have to wonder about the person responsible for this design.

1/10 not entirely awful but good lord

Scisor

Here’s the boi, only this time with eyes on his little crab claws! It’s cute but later got used for hydregion instead, and I dunno, I kind of prefer scisor as is. Still think scyther looks cooler, but a good strudy boi.

6/10 for the puppet shows it could give to entertain all the baby forms on this sprite sheet

Pinsir Noh Pinching

Here’s your fave, anon! You’re right that it seems to have a blank Noh-like mask on its face, as if a huge pinching bug wasn’t terrifying enough for you. That said, I kind of like the really creepy vibe, and poor pinsir got left in the dirt by his rival scyther once Gen 2 hit and gave scyther an evolution but nothing for his clampy comrade.

6/10 we could still get a pinsir evolution, guys

Houndour!

As you might expect of me, the houndour line is a close second to umbreon for Jess’s Favorite Gen 2 Pokemon. It combines two types I love, fire and dark, into this edgy but adorable package–what could I not love about it? This design is actually even better than the final one, because look at that sick-ass spine highlighting the ribs that got left in!

10/10 you cannot half ass edge; that misses the point

Houndoom!

Houndoom, meanwhile, looks pretty much as I remember him in Gold. And there’s nothing wrong with that–his design is fucking amazing. Man, kids, back in the metagame in Gen 2, houndoom was firmly in the top tier. Ah, I remember those days…

10/10 like a shark, houndoom has passed through decades without major tinkering to its evolutionary design

Baby yeti

Long before froslass burst onto the scene, this little bundle of deceptively charming horror could have been the first ice/ghost type. Yes, yes, it’s very adorable upon initial inspection, but once you look a bit deeper, you notice that the pokemon itself is actually black as night, with two piercing Jawa eyes, and the happy fur coat is another creature that’s been skinned and put on like a hoodie. Amazing.

10/10 I’ll take four

Wampa

I started on Star Wars references in the last entry and I gotta keep it going. Anyway, the evolution of tiny, arctic Buffalo Bill up there is even more fearsome, with claws and pupils! It’s even somehow found a way to make its fur covering evolve with it, having it sprout huge fangs (yeah I know, adults probably hunt larger creatures for clothing, but let me have this).

10/10 this so should have been a thing

Pon de Lion

I wonder if perhaps this design was meant to be an alternate form or evolution of porygon, or if this was an entirely different species based on toys (presumably to pad out the number of steel types). It’s an interesting idea, certainly, but I 100% get why this design got scrapped–it was a lawsuit from Mr. Donut waiting to happen.

Ugh

Did you know that horses produce 10 gallons of saliva a day? I now do thanks to Nate quizzing us over vacation last weekend to see if we could tell the difference between real animals and pokemon based on factoids. Now, lickilicky was not a new evolution I embraced with open arms, but man, it could have been so much worse.

2/10 I can’t say there’s no appeal (that mustache is great) but it just looks slimy and no thanks

Steelix

It’s steelix, unchanged from this beta to the final game.

7/10 I just think it’s neat

Sunken Master

I would like kingdra so, so much more if this is what it looked like.

9/10 this is goddamn cool and no one can convince me otherwise

Shadow the Edgedog

I’m not gonna lie, I fucking love this stupid design. It’s an electric dog with super sayain hair. 

10/10 fuck you, I do what I want

Oscar Myer

Do I find this design cute? Yes. Do I personally like it more than entei’s? Yes. Do I think it’s a better design than entei? No. It’s a bit too plain to really give off that legendary feel, but for me? I’d totally take this in a game. Also at least the last two have actually looked like dogs. The Legendary “Dogs” we got were a tiger, a lion/bear hybrid, and whatever the hell suicune is supposed to be.

8/10 I am a simple woman with simple needs

Jen Kira

I see people likening this design to Nina Tucker, but I actually don’t see that. It looks more to me like a special edition My Little Pony toy from the 80s released to promote The Dark Crystal. I dig it, even if it’s my least favorite of the three OG doggos.

8/10 if only some of the pizzazz of this design was afforded to fiery boi up there and we’d be onto something

Rook

This weasel/otter type thing is really cute, and perhaps was a concept idea for what later became sentret? I’d say I would want to see it again, but I kind of get the feeling we already did get the concept revived in the mienfoo line.

6/10 glad we got to see this one again

Ho-oh

Doesn’t seem too different from the sprite in the final game, and still a good design. That said though, I’m noticing that there’s no lugia in these beta sprites. What the fuck is that?!

7/10 got bros over this ho(-oh)

Togepi

This little bugger was introduced so early in the anime that I’m not surprised that its design was firmed up by the time the demo came out. Togepi’s okay I guess, but again I don’t really tend to like baby pokemon and I got kind of over-exposed to it in the anime.

6/10 cute but not a fave

Snubble

SNUB PARTY!! Snubs has the dubious honor of being the only dog pokemon I actively dislike. I like granbull so I can put up with it temporarily to get it to evolve, but this does a lot of things on my Dislike Checklist: aggressively pink, check; clown ruffle, check; appears to be wearing a dress, check.

4/10 not a fan

Boscoe

This early version of aipom looks like Marsupilami if it had been created by the Fleischer brothers. Something about this design just isn’t Right, but I can’t put my finger on it. I think it’s the 1930s American animation style face combined with walking on all fours? Either way it creeps me out.

3/10 though aipom is a very middle-of-the-road pokemon for me, it’s a helluva lot better than this abomination

Leafeon Prime

If you had asked us kid pokemon fans back in the days of Gen I what pokemon we’d most like to see in the future, I imagine “grass type eeveelution” was near the top for many of them. It just made sense–you had the leaf stone just sitting around, not reacting to your eevee, and it was so blatantly conspicuous. I had my own grass type eeveelution design I’d made called “Thorneon”, the design of which I might share at some point, and I was far from the only one.

So yeah, I’d have appreciated this a LOT in Gen 2. I was disappointed it wasn’t introduced in Gen 2. However, promises of a grass type eeveelution in Gen 4 got me to finally pull the trigger on getting a DS to play Diamond and Pearl, and that turned out to be an execellent decision. So maybe it was better that they kept this idea incubating for a bit longer.

10/10 I like leafeon and I also like this design–particularly like the vine bits that look like scars

And so there you have it! All 100 beta sprites reveiwed by yours truly. 

Hope it was worth the wait, anon!

[radicaldreamer017]

Finished chapter 3 and in the middle of chapter 4 (and things are getting spoilery) :

- found a few more heart to heart. It was quite funny to have Tora laments on feeling useless in battle after I benched him. Guess the game does expect you to bench him for the new character.

- I noticed how these scenes are voiced and involve several characters. In XB1, the scenes are silent and involves only two characters bonding. The voice acting is cool but I think they should have kept the two character bonding thing (group stuff is nice too… but so far, Tora has been starring in all of them… i’m afraid the game may push some characters forward more than others in these heart to heart).

- so, met Zeke (it’s Zek in french apparently) and his blade twice. He’s so over the top lol… i saw people comparing him with Bart from Xenogears, but Bart was down to earth next to him (then again, the over the top shonen humor in XB2 is quite new to Xeno… except maybe when it comes to mascot characters). Bart also had a heavy backstory and duty. That said, eye patch thing, trying to snatch your « weapon » upon the first meeting… I can see why comparaisons are made. I’m waiting to see who Zeke is beyond “comic relief guy” though.

- I don’t know if it’s just me but enemies feel quite spongey compared to previous XB games. In the first game, it was quicker and easier to beat a group of enemies. Not so much here (in fact, I’m dying a lot... and chapter 4 is pissing me off a bit because of this... too many enemies ganging up on you, all spongey... the most annoying thing is getting teleported way back and all enemies getting revived). In the first XB game, I was already going against uniques in the first 10 hours. I never bothered to beat a single one in this one and i’m past 30 hours in. Then again, I was battling uniques in XB1 because it was part of the quests and I knew they were giving capacity points too.

- I really like Uraya overall. The town gives me Skyrim (Solitude) vibe coupled with Baten Kaitos maybe (with a touch of Zora village from Breath of the Wild) ?

- speaking of this town… i’m still clueless where their king or queen even is… where’s the palace ?

- i’m starting to understand maybe why people feel frustrated when exploring in this game. It took me way too much time to understand how to get to Uraya’s main town (and I just quit yesterday playing chapter 4 because a piece of bridge fell while i was walking on it and the only path towards the next main story point I can see is blocked by blade skills i don’t have... that said, maybe this bridge will be whole again when I’ll return to the game... otherwise, that would be bullshit). I also understand why it can feel frustrating to have exploration blocked by requirements that are entirely linked to the blades you managed to get based on pure luck. But I can only encourage Monolith to explore player/environment interactions further. Maybe Zelda’s success will make their next Xeno/jrpg game a lot better on this front (I have lots of gripes about the new Zelda sure… but the way we could interact with the environment, using elements and all, wasn’t one of them).

- so far, town music is definitively more memorable/better than in XB1 (Mitsuda composed them, didn’t he ?).

- while I like towns better in this than XB1, i think it really was a mistake to take the social network thing away. It just makes townies a lot less endearing. It takes away the sense of communities the first two Xenoblade games had. It was really one of Xenoblade’s biggest strength imo.

- returning to Argentum made me realize how nice this place is. A callback to the Thames from Xenogears but with warm Ghibli aesthetics too (love the interior in the upper floors).

- the more I play Tiger Tiger, the more I like it... Dunno if it’s because I was craving for some actual mini games in the modern Xeno games (sick of the hunt/fetch routine) or because the mini game is legit nice. But locking Poppi’s entire upgrade system behind a single mini game probably sucks for anyone who hates playing it.

- I can send blades to expeditions now… between this and the pull to get blades system, the game feels very mobile gacha inspired (by the way, got a rainbow in FFBE the same day I got KOS-MOS). Not that the expedition system was invented by mobile games. It was in FF Tactics on PS1 after all. But the way the characters are sent to missions just remind me of FFBE.

- Also, people sure don’t mind giving command of their military force to a kid they just met lol (old person speaking uhuh).

- this theater thing was nice (and very Baten Kaitos looking).

- the last bosses were brutal… even being higher leveled than them… until I just switched Vandham for Tora (well see, perverted furball… you’re more useful than the big guy with the giant bird after all… crazy).

- speaking of them… I find them quite obnoxious. Maybe it’s the Nomura aesthetics… or the fact they kept wrecking my party… I did feel a bit sorry for Akhos (?) in the end though.

- Malos, or the Sephiroth school of villainy… wearing Gaignun Kukai’s face.

- Giant robot flashback… and a bonus Zohar with a pissy Mithra in it. I love how i’m trying to enjoy this game without comparing it too much to its heavy successors story wise… but the game won’t let me. Oh well…

- hi Mythra… it amused me how she went « fuck off ! I didn’t want to wake up ! I’m out ! » just after being introduced. Also, one of her lines was straight out of Xenosaga 3. As a Xenogears fan, her behavior also reminded me of the « coward ».

- Vandham’s death. I did like the character... but not enough to feel much during this scene apparently (losing the wind bird though... rude... but you get it back quickly anyway). People are not going to feel much when a character they just met dies (unless they’re known to have a close bond with the main character from the get go maybe... which is why killing Alice in Xenogears or Fiora in Xenoblade 1 felt more brutal despite happening very early... because they were introduced as the “childhood friend character/love interest/sister”). Especially if the character is a big bulky guy and the death quite cliché for this kind of character.

- also... did... did they bury him in a freaking concrete/stone ground ?

- I only just remembered Poppi broke at the end of the chapter. But she wasn’t that broken, it seems. They really didn’t make a big fuss about it.

- first time in forever since a character shared a bed with his obvious love interest in a Xeno game. But let’s not expect anything mature here. Mythra was just sleepwalking and happened to end up in Rex’s bed. So, yeah... the whole scene was an entire “you stupid pervert” joke you often see in harem animes (with “omg boobs in front of my face” reaction from Rex). That said, this darn hat that Dromach wears is a thing of glory. Highlight of the scene lol... Ah, and they also acknowledge Mythra/Pyra’s clothing being ridiculous in this scene.

- the whole “thievery” plotline was kind of filler. But still, I guess I’m glad those kids have a place to belong now. Guess I can see the Oliver Twist inspiration here (Takahashi said it was one of the works that made him want to make XB2). And now, the bird is back and Rex can have another 5 stars blade (though, I also managed to get Perceval for him, with a common core crystal).

- Speaking of new rare blade, I also got Boreas for Nia. But controlling Nia with him as her main blade kinda sucks. Boreas is so big that he almost takes the whole screen. But he’s a healer. That’s cool. That’s Nia’s main job.

- Muimui... I’m so glad you’re not the playable mascot character (really, even considering Tora). Seriously, this little guy is like... a nopon version of Peter Pettigrew from Harry Potter (maybe it’s appriopriate, he seems shaddy). But higher pitched. And his name sounds kinda dumb, spoken out loud.

- I like Mor Ardain’s city. Reminds me of Nortune from Xenogears (too bad Mor Ardain’s Titan is a brown wasteland though... but hey, it is dying, after all).

- I really liked the cutscene introducing Mor Ardain’s “emperor”. The music was perfect, Morag and Brighid were there, I generally like child emperor/empress (like say, Larsa from FF12)... and I guess Morag is of royal blood now ?

- Tora’s background story unvealed... and I’m sure it was dramatic... but holy shit, I just wanted to laugh when seeing this small nopon holding a huge gun. Tora is like... Maria Balthasar as a male perverted Chuchu. It’s weird. Now, off to retrieve his giant rob... I mean, gothic lolita robot.

- Hot spring naked time... with convenient censor fog. I knew something like this was in ever since the first trailer. Some people managed to spot a keyword for a bath scene or something. Sigh... What should I say ? I like Persona and they did much worse with this kind of stuff. But it’s still pandering. I don’t even remember what the heck the girls were talking about (expect Poppi maybe... something about being waterproof ?).

- Second battle transition against Zeke was kind of funny. Rex gets bitchslapped by Mythra and the screen breaks, FF10 style.

[harrysgloves]

Trouble (chapter 5)

>>>Catch up with master list here!<<<

word count: 2.2k

story summary: You’re nothing but trouble and Harry can’t help the fact that he wants a taste.

warnings: Language // Drug Use

chapter summary: You and Harry go to a party

a/n: Everyone can thank my depression for the slow ass updates. Not sure if I’m keeping this series or not but I have it like half done so might as well. Anyways cheers to the drama

>>><<<

After a long week of boring classes, you were so happy for Friday night to finally be here. You were already dressed up and ready to be at the party that everyone else was already at. Dragging the protesting Harry behind you by his hand as your Doc Marten's hit the sidewalk pavement with determination.

"Could have worn a shirt t'the party at least." He groaned behind you. You could hear the pout across his beautifully annoying face as you rolled your eyes.

"Told you already, all the guys' will have their shirts off. Stop bitching." You pulled him harder by the hand forcing him to walk beside you.

"Better let me paint you fo' makin' me walk 'round naked across campus." His arm snaking around your shoulders that cheeky smile on his face as he peered down at you.

"You just want to touch me again." You said, rolling your eyes. A small smile curling at the corner of your lips as your face heated. You couldn't even deny that you wanted him to be close to you again.

"Got me there, love." He teased as you both finally made it to the frat house the party was at.

The sea of people inside the house was slowly starting to flow outside onto the front porch. People, mostly drunk girls, sitting on the lawn, giggling as you passed them. More like as Harry passed them.

"You're hot shit, Styles." You teased as you made your way through the tightly packed entry area.

He rolled those memorizing green eyes at you as you picked out a few paints you wanted to use and paintbrush for both of you. Your hands lingering over the paint bottles as you mentally tried to figure out what you were going to paint on him.

"Me first?" He asked when you finally turned back around, that annoying smug smile back on his face that made you want to kiss him and slap him at the same time.

"Knock yourself out. Just don't get it on that top, yeah? It was expensive." You said as he dipped the brush in paint. You had to brace yourself for how cold that shit was about to be across your skin. Berating yourself silently for not drinking beforehand.

"That was expensive? Half y'tits are hangin' out." He said, laughing when the cold-ass paint first touched your skin, making you jump slightly.

"Hey. It's called being sexy, look it up." You gestured to your outfit which consisted of your tightest pair of black high waisted shorts with fishnets underneath and a white crop top that, yes, showed the bottom of your breasts.

"Pretty sure my picture's next t'the definition 'f sexy, darlin'." He said, his eyes connecting with yours briefly before going back to work on whatever weird design he was painting on you. Which were mostly random swirls and a few flicks of the paintbrush here and there.

Of course, it wouldn't have mattered what the hell he was painting on you. He was so close to you his hot breath was tickling your skin every time he exhaled. Warming up the cold paint within seconds of it being on you.

You felt like your skin was crawling. Wanting so desperately to grab him and kiss him right then and there but you refrained yourself. Trying to reminding yourself that being like that with him again would only add on to the confusion running rampant in your brain.

His fingers brushing against your skin pulled you out of your thoughts. He quickly wiped away the paint from an area close to your hip bone that he messed up. Tingles running down your spine from such a stupid fucking touch made you want to pull your hair out.

At this point, it was just pathetic. Every time he touched you or you even looked at the damn guy you wanted to jump his bones.

You bit your lip as he finished up, all those pesky thoughts still floating around your brain of how he touched you the last time he was with you as he held up the brush once he was done.

"Make it good, yeh?" He said with a smile as you rolled your eyes, your hand snapping the brush out of his hand making him laugh slightly.

"Eyes up." You said, dipping the brush in paint, not wanting him to watch you at work.

"Oh no, you'll paint a dick across me if I do that." He said, backing up slightly as the paintbrush inched closer to his exposed stomach.

"I will not." You held up your pinky finger for him that he reluctantly took after silently debating with himself if he trusted you or not, idiot should have known better.

You smiled sweetly as you bent down in front of him. Looking up to make sure he was actually looking away from you when you first touched the brush to his skin.

"Fuckin' hell that's cold." He hissed, backing away from you. Making you mutter how much of a baby he was being as you pulled him back to you by the back of his thighs.

The smile not leaving your face as you wrote across him. Biting your lip to stop yourself from the giggles wanting to slip passed before standing up and telling him you were done. His eyes traveling down his stomach before a very amused look being shot at you.

"Wanna try it later then if y'think it's so great?" He said a cocky smile across his face at the words Fun Ride written fight above where his pants sat.

"Have fun!" You said starting to turn around before swinging back towards him. Your arms around his neck as his hands held your hips, trying to balance himself as you kissed the side of his cheek.

"There, now you're done." You said pulling away from the confused Harry. A perfect outline of your neon lipstick shining bright in the blacklights as you turned with one last wave to him, disappearing into the crowd.

>>>

It took you less than 30 seconds to find who you were looking for. Your arms going around her waist as you hugged her back tightly against you.

"God, it's a good thing it's you and not some fucking pervert. I was ready to throw my drink on someone." Rose grumbled before turning around to hug you back.

"Nope. Just regular old perverted me." You smiled, taking the drink from her hand and downing it in one gulp. Throwing the now useless cup into the crowd of people.

"Hey! I was drinking that." She whined, making you roll your eyes at her as you took her hand, dragging her through the house towards the kitchen.

"Yeah, well, I don't do cups." You said, throwing open the cabinets that you knew a little too well and grabbing a bottle of vodka.

"How'd you know that was there?" Rose asked as you turned around. A small shrug of your shoulders as you untwisted the cap, taking a drink before handing it to her.

"Fucked the head frat guy douche bag last semester. Found out all their dirty secrets." You smiled as she handed you back the bottle after taking a small sip for herself.

"Of course you did." She said as another arm was thrown over her shoulder, making her look up.

"What's up, ladies?" Finn said with a huge smile on his face as he took the bottle out of your hands taking a large drink from the now half-empty bottle.

"Well, we were having a good time before you showed up." You snatched the bottle back from him making him pout slightly at you. The dumb dork was cute in his own ways but oh so annoying.

"You ditching my boy again, Y/N?" That annoying smile across his face as you took a very long drink from the bottle. The burning sensation washing down your nerves about everyone finding out about your stupid damn obsession with Harry.

"Probably." You shrugged as he tsked you, clicking his tongue.

"Dunno why he's got the hots for ya pretty bad."

"That's exactly why then." You said, taking another drink before handing it to Rose who was not impressed at all with your response.

"You're so stupid. Just go hang out with him. You two would get along really well." She shook her head at you, taking a drink from the bottle before handing it to Finn.

"Yeah! What she said."

"Mhhh, no thanks." You said, your eyes scanning the room briefly before they landed on the tall British fucker in question.

An unfamiliar pit in your stomach forming at the sight of his hands wrapped around the back of some random brunette's neck with his tongue shoved down her throat. You rolled your eyes pointing your friends in his direction with your stare.

"Think he's getting on just fine. Let's dance." You said, finishing off the last of the bottle in Finn's hand and slamming it down on the table.

Really, for as much as you bitched about Harry. You had no right to feel any sort of way about him with someone else. You shook the thought away desperately reminding yourself that you didn't give a single fuck about what he did.

It was strictly physical.

And more importantly, you didn't do anything beyond sleeping with someone.

Ever.

Your hand wrapped tightly around Finn's as you dragged him out to the dance floor. Rose followed shortly behind you two until her very annoying girlfriend interrupted your fun, dragging her away for you.

"That bitch fucking hates me." You said, rolling your eyes as you squeezed through the crowd of people.

"Yeah, well, the British asshole is going to hate me if I dance with you." Finn said as you turned around to face him, your arms around his neck with a small smile on your lips.

"When have you ever cared about that?" You asked, peering up to him as he shrugged slightly. His arms around your waist pulling you close into him.

"Think Harry might actually punch me. Better make it worth it."

"I make everything worth it." You teased, leaning up on your toes to connect your lips with his.

You wished those same types of fireworks happened with Finn, that did with Harry, but it didn't. Your mouth moving slightly out of sync with each other, not working in that magical rhythm that cheeky thick accented fucker managed to know how to do so perfectly.

Yes, it was still a good kiss. And maybe a few weeks ago it would have felt amazing, but now, after Harry, it was just average at best.

"God, you really do like him, don't you?" Finn said when he pulled away from the kiss.

His dark brown eyes filled with a spark of teasing making you huff as you leaned back from him. Shooting him a glare before it faltered from your face. There wasn't a point in lying to him. He could tell from that simple kiss that you definitely had someone else on your mind.

"Trying to not like him." You sighed, laying your head against his chest. Hating yourself for how you felt and how much you really didn't want to feel that way towards him.

Wanting to persevere yourself from any sort of heartbreak happening in the future.

"Dunno why he's not that much of a prick." Finn said as his hand rested against your hair, trying his best to comfort you. Knowing what it was like himself to hate emotions.

"Let's just say it's in the best interest of everyone involved. Let's just forget it. Yeah?" You said, pulling back slightly looking at the very confused Finn. His eyebrows pulled together tightly as he stared down at you.

"Fine." He said, eventually giving up playing the role of matchmaker for the night. His hands reaching in his pockets, pulling out a clear bag with a few pills in it.

"Wanna forget about it? Let's do it the right way then." He held up the small bag in front of you like it was a bag of candy. Shaking the pills back and forth slightly.

"Knew I liked you." You said, reaching up, taking the bag out of his hand and placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Just doing what I do best. Helping people avoid their problems." He said with a smile as you handed two round white pills to him and took two for yourself.

Quickly shoving them down your throat, swallowing them dry. The slight stinging in your throat as they went down causing you to cough before looking back at Finn who didn't even flinch as he took them.

"You're too good at that." You said, rolling your eyes as your arms went back around his neck.

"One of my many specialties." He smiled, hands on your hips bringing you close to him as you started to sway lightly back and forth. Turning around to press your bottom against him.

Determined to forget all those wonderful thoughts of Harry as you lost yourself in the music. The mystery pills taking the edge off your emotions as you danced tightly against Finn. Praying that in the morning those green eyes would be just a distant memory.